1 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:05,239 Mail's here! 2 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:10,178 Look, it's our annual rejection letter from Family Feud. 3 00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:11,779 A mustache hair. 4 00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:13,581 Oh, my God. 5 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:16,184 Steve Harvey licked that envelope himself. 6 00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:18,386 Wait, this isn't a rejection letter. 7 00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:20,554 It's an invitation to the second phase 8 00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:21,889 of the application process -- 9 00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:23,757 "filling out a questionnaire"! 10 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,359 - (squeals) - Oh, yeah! 11 00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:27,428 But we've got to be very careful filling it out. 12 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,197 Says here we can't get another one. 13 00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:30,931 It's only one question long -- 14 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,800 "What is the funniest thing 15 00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:34,868 that has ever happened to your family?" 16 00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:37,971 I could think of 300 funny things that have happened to us. 17 00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:40,441 (scoffs) 300 funny things. 18 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,244 I can think of 400 funny things. 19 00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:44,424 I could think of a million. 20 00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:45,512 Okay, do 50. 21 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:46,947 Okay, first one... 22 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,323 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 23 00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:58,592 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 24 00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:01,795 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 25 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:06,100 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 26 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:11,405 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 27 00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:13,841 - ♪ Good -- ♪ - ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 28 00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:14,942 Aah! 29 00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:19,613 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 30 00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:23,917 This is Family Feud, guys. 31 00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:25,619 We need our A-1 stuff. 32 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:28,088 What's the funniest thing that's ever happened to us? 33 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:31,125 I heard a funny word at the doctor yesterday -- 34 00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:32,626 "terminal." 35 00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:33,761 That's an airport word! 36 00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:35,363 I have a funny one. 37 00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:37,698 Remember the time Dad got locked in the stockades 38 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,367 in Colonial Williamsburg? 39 00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:41,702 Sorry I knocked over that plant, Dad. 40 00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:43,547 They say they'll let you out at the end of the day. 41 00:01:43,571 --> 00:01:44,772 Uh, guys? 42 00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:46,116 I started a small electrical fire 43 00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:47,508 in Ye Olde Candlery. 44 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:50,211 - We gotta run! - Aah! 45 00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:52,713 I forgot Roger really ruined that trip. 46 00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:55,516 Ooh! How about that time we saw Seinfeld in Hawaii? 47 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,018 I think that's Seinfeld at the omelet station. 48 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,520 You just know he's observing 49 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,389 some really funny stuff right now. 50 00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:04,158 Guys, I accidentally triggered an active volcano. 51 00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:06,160 - We gotta run! - (all gasp) 52 00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:09,997 SEINFELD: What's the deal with all this lava? 53 00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:11,865 Damn it! Roger ruined that, too! 54 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,502 Ooh! What about the time we went to that super fancy 55 00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:16,337 underground cheese shop? 56 00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:20,374 I can't believe this is the day I finally get to try Gouda! 57 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,010 Guys, I accidentally triggered an active volcano. 58 00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:25,213 - We gotta run! - (all gasp) 59 00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:29,850 SEINFELD: And this was the day I was finally gonna try Gouda! 60 00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:32,486 Can't we think of one memory that wasn't ruined by Roger? 61 00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,054 Enchanté. 62 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:37,991 The name's Hibachi Liberace: Terrible Origami Artist. 63 00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:40,194 Allow me to demonstrate. Mm, too big. 64 00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:41,695 - No! - (gasps) 65 00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:42,930 (breathing heavily) 66 00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,398 Bingo! 67 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:45,733 Double bingo! 68 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,601 And fold, and fold, and... 69 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:48,569 ta-da! 70 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:49,870 Hanging chad! 71 00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:51,104 Remember that? 72 00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:52,449 From one of the elections or something? 73 00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:53,607 Damn it, Roger! 74 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:55,676 That was our Family Feud application! 75 00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:57,911 We got to the next round?! That's amazing! 76 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,680 I wonder what I'll wear if we make it. 77 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,014 You'll wear nothing. 78 00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,916 That's kinda what I was thinking, too. 79 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,553 Because we're not going to be on Family Feud. 80 00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:07,888 They famously only give you one application! 81 00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,290 And you ruined it! 82 00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:11,859 - You ruin everything! - (gasps) 83 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:13,361 I don't ruin things! 84 00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:15,896 We spent all day trying to remember things, 85 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,765 but all the rememories were bad! 86 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:18,732 'Cause of you! 87 00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,067 Being on the Feud 88 00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:22,436 is all the Smiths have ever wanted. 89 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,605 - So... - So, what, Stan? 90 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,774 So, the Smiths are done with you. 91 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,942 Forever! You must leave at once! 92 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:32,913 (gasps) You guys don't want me to leave, right? 93 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,548 Fine! I'll go. 94 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,485 Francine, let's go, baby. 95 00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:38,586 No! 96 00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:40,788 (gasps, cries) 97 00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:43,223 (camera shutter clicks) 98 00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:44,492 POPE: We found him, 99 00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:46,894 the creator of the evil artifact. 100 00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:51,899 According to the prophecy, 101 00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:54,167 the artifact can only be destroyed 102 00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:56,304 by sending it back into the portal through 103 00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:58,138 which it appeared on Earth. 104 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,240 What portal? 105 00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,610 (dramatic music plays) 106 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,584 (bell tolls) 107 00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:17,858 I have 12 chalupas for... 108 00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,460 secret meeting. 109 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,864 The artifact corrupts and twists the human mind. 110 00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:28,502 Once it is destroyed, the world will finally be at peace. 111 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:31,339 I shall take it to America at once. 112 00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:34,141 Perhaps I should take it, hmm? 113 00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:35,943 No! He wants it for himself! 114 00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:37,945 - I'll take it. - No! Me! 115 00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:39,380 - Friends! - (gasps) 116 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,449 Beyoncé speaks! 117 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:42,883 Don't you see? 118 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:46,053 Its power is corrupting even us. 119 00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:49,289 (gun cocks) 120 00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:50,624 Don't touch it. 121 00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:51,724 (gun cocks) 122 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,060 (gun cocks) 123 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,895 (guns cock) 124 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:05,506 I must have it! 125 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:26,660 Little girl, what you are holding is very dangerous. 126 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,061 You must give it to me. 127 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,663 No problemo. 128 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,499 Kazim, wait. 129 00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:33,166 She offers it without hesitation. 130 00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:35,168 It does not corrupt her. 131 00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:37,170 She is pure of heart. 132 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:38,872 She must be the one. 133 00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:43,110 We are the Knights Turdlar, an ancient order tasked 134 00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:46,179 with destroying this evil excrement. 135 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,682 We need you to take this somewhere. 136 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,418 It could be dangerous. 137 00:05:50,518 --> 00:05:53,687 But it will save the world from evil. 138 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:56,123 I will deliver this anywhere you want, 139 00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:59,026 but you must order it through the app. 140 00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:00,561 (knocking) 141 00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:06,266 Yeah, that cat doesn't live here anymore, ya dig? 142 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,102 We've looked everywhere. Even Snot's house. 143 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,704 ROGER: Come back here! 144 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,039 Come on, lil' cricket! 145 00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:14,307 I ain't gonna eat ya! 146 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:15,476 Stupid cricket! 147 00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:16,910 Stupid Smiths! 148 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,447 Making me lie to crickets about eating them. 149 00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:22,049 (crickets chirping) 150 00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:23,651 ROGER: Oh, hey, little girl. 151 00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:25,553 Can you grab that cricket for me? 152 00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:27,421 I ain't gonna eat it or anything. 153 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,391 Oh, hey, that looks familiar. 154 00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:32,660 Nice of you to bring it back. 155 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:33,794 (thud) 156 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,128 This is just the cherry 157 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,465 on top of a really interesting week. 158 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:49,610 (arguing in native language) 159 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,258 Well, it's official. 160 00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:06,358 I'm not black. 161 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,795 - How do you know? - Heh! 162 00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:09,463 'Cause black don't... 163 00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:21,809 Listen up. This is an emergency. 164 00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:22,810 Has there been an attack? 165 00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:24,545 No, silly. 166 00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:26,547 We live in utopia now! 167 00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:29,850 The emergency is, I got a new guitar! 168 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,619 (guitar plays) 169 00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:34,788 ♪ Everyone is happy in utopia ♪ 170 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:39,059 ♪ From Spain to Japan to Ethiopia ♪ 171 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:42,830 ♪ Mertz was a bully who only cared for shoving ♪ 172 00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:46,834 ♪ But now he's a pacifist all about loving ♪ 173 00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:48,468 ♪ Now that the world is at peace ♪ 174 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,504 ♪ I have my own flock of geese ♪ 175 00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:54,174 ♪ Everyone is happy in utopia ♪ 176 00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:55,876 FRANCINE: ♪ The roads are all empty ♪ 177 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,145 ♪ Everyone gets a Bentley ♪ 178 00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:02,049 ♪ I can dunk a basketball ♪ 179 00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:05,352 ♪ Everyone is happy in utopia ♪ 180 00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:09,389 ♪ I used to smoke six times a day, no joking ♪ 181 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:15,062 ♪ But in this new world, I get high without toking ♪ 182 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:18,766 ♪ Everyone is happy in utopia ♪ 183 00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:21,935 ♪ We're all full of hope-ia ♪ 184 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:26,073 ♪ I can fly without my rope-ia ♪ 185 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:29,743 ♪ 'Cause everyone loves utopia ♪ 186 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:34,014 ♪ And things are going well for me ♪ 187 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:38,852 ♪ Too-o-o-o-o ♪ 188 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,690 This just in. Everything is still great! 189 00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:45,693 Coming up after the break, a beautiful sound! 190 00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:47,673 Oh, what the heck? Let's just play it right now. 191 00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:52,199 I hate utopia. I hate this. 192 00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:54,134 Oh, my God! Thank you! 193 00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:56,236 Remember when you used to see a helicopter crash 194 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:57,816 on the news and get kind of horned up? 195 00:08:57,905 --> 00:08:59,106 That's gone. 196 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,108 And I hate singing that song every day. 197 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:04,277 - I miss my old song! - Daddy. 198 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,313 That is the silver lining, Rogu. 199 00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,949 At least Roger's been gone since utopia started. 200 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,218 Daddy. 201 00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:12,419 No. 202 00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:14,421 That's the door. 203 00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:15,555 (doorbell rings) 204 00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:16,657 Damn, Francine, 205 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:18,225 you made the doorbell ring. 206 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:19,226 Delivery! 207 00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:20,928 And may peace be with -- 208 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,931 Please send me to the Smiths. 209 00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,933 123 Cherry Street. 210 00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,968 It's Roger's mouth! 211 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,738 They're a bunch of dicks, but I really need to talk to them. 212 00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,272 Roger! Shh! 213 00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:34,174 Mm. Mm. 214 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:37,845 I think it's Steve, but just to make sure... 215 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:38,945 Get off me! 216 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,649 Yep! That's my Steve! 217 00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,784 Okay, as you can see, I'm just a mouth. 218 00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:46,820 That's probably because I exploded into 300 pieces. 219 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,656 My ears heard the Knights Turdlar 220 00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:51,291 talking about how they'd spread the pieces to the furthest, 221 00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,426 most inaccessible corners of the world. 222 00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:56,529 That way no one could rebuild me and return the world to chaos. 223 00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:57,530 Any questions? 224 00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:59,032 I might have one. 225 00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:00,533 Trick question! 226 00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,278 I can't hear questions because I'm just a mouth. 227 00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,271 Rogu can help you find the rest of me. 228 00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:06,106 Probably. I just said a name. 229 00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:07,274 Does he look confident? 230 00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:08,842 I can say someone else's name. 231 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,210 Uhh... 232 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,444 Calvin? 233 00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:12,544 Is he still around? 234 00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:17,050 Daddy ear at mall. 235 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,622 Daddy's ear. 236 00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:25,525 Finally, I can hear your beautiful voices. 237 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,528 And more importantly, my own beautiful voice! 238 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,799 (scatting) 239 00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:33,333 Ugh! I can't do this! 240 00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:36,003 I can't talk to these gross, flappy body parts. 241 00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:37,470 I've got an idea! 242 00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,306 This was my idea! 243 00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:42,075 And you guys promise me you got the rainbow sloth 244 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,544 and not just the brown bear because it was cheaper? 245 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:45,913 Yes, Roger. 246 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,480 Where to now, Rogu? 247 00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:52,419 (all cheering) 248 00:10:56,589 --> 00:11:00,227 (all cheering) 249 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:01,895 (growling) 250 00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:12,239 I do not want to go in there. 251 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,507 Take these. Someone sold them to me by the porta-johns. 252 00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:16,209 I have no idea what they are. 253 00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:19,780 (dance music plays) 254 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,081 Coachella! 255 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,916 EDM is amazing! 256 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,994 And I never would have found out if we didn't have to go in there 257 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,586 to find Roger's elbow. 258 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,788 Roger's elbow! 259 00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:30,423 FRANCINE: Coachella! 260 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,228 ♪ I'm your Venus ♪ 261 00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:37,731 299 pieces. 262 00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:39,032 Only one to go. 263 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,633 Possibly the most important of all -- 264 00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:41,869 my butthole. 265 00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:43,603 We have to find your butthole? 266 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,938 Without it, no turd. 267 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,240 You know what they say -- 268 00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:50,944 Butthole always last place you look. 269 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,645 Ha, ha, ha. 270 00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:54,381 Let's go. 271 00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:57,084 STAN: No way! 272 00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,089 Hello? 273 00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:04,091 (door slams) 274 00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,628 So, you've come for the butthole. 275 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,330 Steve Harvey?! 276 00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:14,234 Unfortunately, I can't just hand it over to you. 277 00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:17,137 To obtain it, you'll have to win the Feud. 278 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,106 And since there's no other family here, 279 00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:21,274 we're going straight to Fast Money! 280 00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:25,445 I'm gonna ask Roger and Stan the same five questions. 281 00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:28,181 If together, they get over 200 points, 282 00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:30,617 what do the Smiths win? 283 00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:32,786 TOGETHER: The butthole! 284 00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,421 Let's play! 285 00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:37,090 Name something you don't want to see in the ocean. 286 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,258 - Shark. - Zombies. 287 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:40,427 What is a place you go on vacation? 288 00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:41,829 - Hawaii. - Uzbekistan. 289 00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:44,865 Something you don't want to find in your pantry. 290 00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:47,100 - Rats. - Gotta go with Hitler-r-r-r! 291 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,436 A drink you have in the morning. 292 00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:51,304 - Coffee. - Warm saltwater. 293 00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:53,673 Something you get for your birthday. 294 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,342 - Balloons. - Potato gravy. 295 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,310 - Okay, Roger. - Yeah? 296 00:12:57,410 --> 00:13:00,380 As you know, Stan got 198. 297 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,816 - Mm-hmm. - You've gotten zero so far. 298 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,819 - Yup. - All you need is two points. 299 00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:08,856 Your final question was, 300 00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,691 "What is something you get for your birthday?" 301 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:12,692 You said... 302 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,995 - Potato gravy. - Idiot. 303 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,165 Survey says... 304 00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,534 - Oh, yeah! - We did it! 305 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,670 - Whoo-hoo! - The Smiths have done it! 306 00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,572 They won the butthole! 307 00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:26,840 I ain't gonna lie. 308 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,375 I ain't sad to see it go. 309 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,477 Welcome home, buddy! 310 00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:40,539 (arguing in native language) 311 00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:49,362 Aah! 312 00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:53,500 At long last, it's finally mine! 313 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,368 Wait, you wanted us to have it? 314 00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:56,788 Why did you make us play the game? 315 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,338 I didn't really think it through. 316 00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:00,773 That's why I gave you points for potato gravy at the end. 317 00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:03,376 Now I'm gonna use this to put my Family Feud 318 00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:05,012 on every channel! 319 00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:07,014 - Wait, how? - It's very complicated. 320 00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:10,450 Just trust me when I say that I will rule the -- 321 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:11,584 Jesus! 322 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,121 - Whoa! - STAN: Don't look at it! 323 00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:15,622 This thing is dangerous. 324 00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:17,757 I'll destroy it. 325 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,694 Suckers. 326 00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:26,266 It's just you and me now. 327 00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:00,633 (engine starts) 328 00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:09,842 BARTENDER: Usual, Dirk? 329 00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:16,583 STEVE: Where is it? 330 00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:20,287 How'd you find me? 331 00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:23,590 STEVE: The whole world found you. 332 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:26,293 Trust me, Steve. You don't want it. 333 00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:28,095 Actually, it's the only thing 334 00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:30,497 I've wanted since I saw it that day. 335 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,832 Well, you're out of luck. 336 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,969 I got rid of that thing a long time ago. 337 00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,704 Maybe try Craigslist. 338 00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:51,384 STAN: Aah! Aah! 339 00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:10,003 (clattering) 340 00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:29,256 (grunts) 341 00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:49,609 - (vehicle approaching) - (gasps) 342 00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:51,744 Aah! 343 00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,287 You led me right to it, little brother. 344 00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,189 (gargles) 345 00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:05,692 (straining) 346 00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:12,031 (gunshot) 347 00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:13,533 (groans) 348 00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:20,207 You dropped something. 349 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:23,110 (weakly) I thought we had a deal. 350 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:26,045 What happened to girls against boys? 351 00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,448 Only one problem. 352 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,218 I'm a woman. 353 00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:32,619 - (gunshot) - (gasps) 354 00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,790 Francine! 355 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:38,958 (grunts) 356 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,893 That's mine! 357 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:54,974 Ow! 358 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,909 Give it up, Francine! 359 00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:59,412 You look like shit, Stan. 360 00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:00,580 (spits) 361 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:06,453 (saw whirring) 362 00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:10,457 Stan, please! Don't! 363 00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:11,658 You can have it! 364 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,840 (gasps) 365 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,477 (choking) 366 00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:36,949 (crack) 367 00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:50,062 Hmm, maybe I didn't have time to stop for fries. 368 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:52,899 The turd! 369 00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:55,302 - I must have it! - ROGER: Give me a break, Klaus. 370 00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:56,636 You're a fish. You're fine. 371 00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,256 Yeah, I just wanted to be a part of it. 372 00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:00,673 And they think I mess everything up. 373 00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:02,642 Look what they do when I'm not around. 374 00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,382 Besides, even if I do get them in trouble, 375 00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:05,845 I always get them out of it. 376 00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,580 Well, not this time. 377 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,749 This time is a bad example. 378 00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:11,984 This time, they're all dead. 379 00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:13,486 You still have me, Roger. 380 00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:16,656 Klaus, please. I'm not in the mood for jokes. 381 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:25,997 What the...? 382 00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:27,066 (groans) 383 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,201 No, no, no, Steve. 384 00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:29,736 Don't come near this bush. 385 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:32,572 Pal, that burrito did a number on my alien stomach. 386 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:33,906 Come on. Let's just go home. 387 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,375 Too bad. 388 00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:37,944 I guess I'll never find my special power. 389 00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:42,615 Whoa, this is where I laid the Golden Turd! 390 00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,951 - Hey, what am I doing here? - Listen! 391 00:19:45,051 --> 00:19:47,053 You can't leave that thing in the bushes! 392 00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:49,922 Someone finds it and ruins your family's lives. 393 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,558 What? Oh, no! 394 00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,726 The only way to change the future is to hide it 395 00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:55,127 where no one can find it. 396 00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:57,430 Don't worry. I'll hide it real good. 397 00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,566 Not behind the skateboard in the garage. 398 00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:01,734 Wow, you really want this thing hidden! 399 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,436 Oh, and -- and one more thing. 400 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,572 If you don't want to get kicked out of the house, 401 00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:07,574 don't ever take up origami. 402 00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,276 Okay, bye, me! 403 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:13,446 Hey, Steve! Road trip! 404 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,282 I'm thinking Boca Raton! 405 00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,450 It mean's "rat's mouth"! 406 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,892 Can't we think of one memory that wasn't ruined by Roger? 407 00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:27,394 Enchanté! 408 00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:30,430 The name's Hibachi Liberace: Terrible Origami Art-- 409 00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:32,932 Wait a second. I feel like I'm not supposed to do this. 410 00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:34,967 Staples McFoldsalot! 411 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,102 Paper hater! 412 00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:37,737 You think you hate paper? 413 00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,339 Wait till you see this! 414 00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:42,609 STAN: Roger! No! That's our... 415 00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:54,621 Damn it! I want it so bad! 416 00:20:57,290 --> 00:21:02,128 (suspenseful music plays) 417 00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:04,130 Bye-bye! See you soon!