1 00:00:00,739 --> 00:00:03,307 ♪ 2 00:00:03,351 --> 00:00:06,745 So, Danuta, you still haven't said how you and Marco met. 3 00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:09,052 Oh, no. [chuckles] Here we go. 4 00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:12,751 Well, Marco here is the reigning champion 5 00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:16,146 on a certain quiz show on Langley Public Radio. 6 00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:18,018 Oh, you mean Oo Oo, I Know That? 7 00:00:18,061 --> 00:00:19,323 A-ding ding dong. 8 00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:20,977 When they asked him 9 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,979 who his favorite philosopher was, 10 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:26,722 he said, "I Kant remember." 11 00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,593 His wit was bone-dry, 12 00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:31,074 but I was quite the opposite. 13 00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:33,163 [laughter] 14 00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:37,080 Okay, soup. This time... you're mine. 15 00:00:38,299 --> 00:00:42,259 Ow! That sneaky stuff just falls off the spoon so fast! 16 00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:44,957 Babe, remember, flip your spoon over 17 00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:46,437 so it's like a little bowl. 18 00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:47,438 Ohhhhh! 19 00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:49,614 Like a little soup bowl 20 00:00:49,658 --> 00:00:51,094 - on a stick! - On a stick. 21 00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:52,791 Yes, Jeff. Very good, Jeff. 22 00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:54,619 And how did you two meet? 23 00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:57,579 Oh, it's so hard to recall. 24 00:00:57,622 --> 00:01:00,451 I fell into the touch tank at the aquarium! 25 00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:01,974 Hayley pulled me out. 26 00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:03,541 Oh, that's right. 27 00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:05,326 We're actually going to a benefit 28 00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:07,110 at the aquarium with Johanna this... 29 00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:09,199 Johanna Gurney-Schaffner?! 30 00:01:09,243 --> 00:01:11,593 The host of This Way or That on Langley Public Radio?! 31 00:01:11,636 --> 00:01:12,985 Wha...?! You hang out with her?! 32 00:01:13,029 --> 00:01:15,205 Oh, she's a dear friend. 33 00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:17,294 We actually went to the new Almódovar film with her 34 00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:18,426 just last night. 35 00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:20,950 Unngh! Have you seen it? 36 00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:23,996 Oh, I really wanted to, but Jeff kinda likes to watch 37 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,607 the same movie over and over, 38 00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:27,565 so right now most nights we're watching 39 00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:30,177 The Land Before Time: The Secret of Saurus Rock. 40 00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:32,701 Hayley has to explain a lot of it to me, 41 00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:35,182 but I'm this close to understanding 42 00:01:35,225 --> 00:01:37,097 that dragons couldn't actually talk. 43 00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:38,359 Dinosaurs. 44 00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:40,709 "Dino-snaurs." 45 00:01:40,752 --> 00:01:43,799 [patriotic music plays] 46 00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:46,149 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 47 00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:50,153 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 48 00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:53,243 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 49 00:01:53,287 --> 00:01:57,073 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 50 00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:02,644 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 51 00:02:02,687 --> 00:02:04,776 - ♪ Good... ♪ - ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 52 00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:05,908 Aah! 53 00:02:07,475 --> 00:02:10,782 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 54 00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:12,393 [crickets chirping] 55 00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:14,003 [Hayley and Jeff moaning and giggling] 56 00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:15,439 HAYLEY: Ohh! Ooohhh! 57 00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:17,398 Mmmmmm... Marco! 58 00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:18,703 JEFF: Polo! 59 00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:20,488 - HAYLEY: What? - JEFF: What? 60 00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:23,186 Wait just one minute. 61 00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:25,928 [gasps] You were thinking about 62 00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:27,886 Danuta's smarty-pants boyfriend! 63 00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:29,758 Jeff, I love you. I just... 64 00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:31,934 I can't even remember the last time 65 00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:34,023 we had an intelligent conversation about anything! 66 00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:36,852 We talked for hours about Mad Men! 67 00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:38,680 Because I had to keep explaining 68 00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:40,203 that you didn't have to be scared, 69 00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:42,162 because the men weren't mad at you! 70 00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:43,748 Well, maybe you should watch it with Narco. 71 00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:45,687 - Marco. - Polo! 72 00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:47,036 Oh, my God! Why are you so dumb?! 73 00:02:47,079 --> 00:02:48,733 [yelps] 74 00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:51,519 Jeff, I'm sorry. I-I just got frustrated. 75 00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:53,651 - Where are you going? - Out! 76 00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:54,957 Jeff, those are my pants. 77 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,569 I know! I happen to, um... 78 00:02:58,613 --> 00:03:01,746 like the way they make my butt look! 79 00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:03,357 [squishing] 80 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,708 KLAUS: Jeff! Lookin' good! 81 00:03:06,751 --> 00:03:09,319 [melancholy music plays] 82 00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:13,671 Oh, man, what if Hayley leaves me because I'm too dumb for her? 83 00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:15,630 Who's gonna tie my shoes?! 84 00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:17,980 [whistles] Hey. Jeffy-boy! 85 00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:19,982 What up, man? Little moonlight stroll? 86 00:03:20,025 --> 00:03:22,637 Mr. S? Why are you out so late? 87 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,379 Collectin' critters. Dr. Weitzman needs animals 88 00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:27,598 for a new experiment he's doing at the CIA. 89 00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:29,209 The agent that brings in the most 90 00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:31,211 gets to go to McDonald's in a limo! 91 00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:32,995 Whoa! 92 00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:35,563 Say, Roger was helping me, but he quit on me. 93 00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:38,043 Got bit trying to nab a copperhead snake and just went 94 00:03:38,087 --> 00:03:40,481 straight to the emergency room, like a quitter. 95 00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:41,524 You wanna help me out? 96 00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:43,919 [possum squeaks] 97 00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:46,791 Mr. S, can I talk to you about something? 98 00:03:46,835 --> 00:03:48,116 - Not if I turn on the radio! - [switch clicks] 99 00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:49,359 ♪ 100 00:03:49,403 --> 00:03:51,405 - [gasps] Critter! - [tires screech] 101 00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:54,146 JOHANNA GURNEY-SCHAFFNER: This Way or That is made possible 102 00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:56,124 by the Arthur and Elaine T. McKennon Foundation... 103 00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:57,691 STAN [grunting]: Get back here, you little... 104 00:03:57,715 --> 00:03:59,282 ...creating a brighter generation 105 00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:00,849 through the power of public radio... 106 00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:01,980 STAN: You're coming with me. 107 00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:04,722 ...and SmutPile.com. 108 00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:06,550 Check it out. Stray dog. 109 00:04:06,594 --> 00:04:08,160 [man shouting indistinctly] 110 00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:10,032 Can you change the station? 111 00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:13,296 This is that Jo-hannis Grundy ShniffShnaff lady 112 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,167 Hayley loves so much. 113 00:04:15,211 --> 00:04:17,474 Ugh! Yeah, I hate this nerd shit, too. 114 00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:19,955 That nerd Francine must've been driving my car. 115 00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:22,392 - Let's listen to some Stern! - [beep] 116 00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:24,438 DANIEL STERN: A lotta people don't know this, 117 00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:27,789 but I was high every day of shootingCity Slickers. 118 00:04:27,832 --> 00:04:29,704 I'm of course talking about Daniel Stern's 119 00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:31,706 autobiography on Audible. 120 00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:35,536 Also, Jack Palance was soooo strong. 121 00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:38,147 ♪ 122 00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:40,367 Well, Misterrrr... 123 00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:41,759 Pastafocaccia. 124 00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:44,501 You seem to have fully recovered from your snakebite. 125 00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:46,460 So that just leaves the small matter of... 126 00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:48,331 uh, the bill! 127 00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:53,031 Sweet child o' mine! Why is it so darn much, Doc?! 128 00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:55,382 Because antivenom is scarce. 129 00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:58,428 Yep, if someone went out right now 130 00:04:58,472 --> 00:05:00,604 and harvested venom from poisonous snakes, 131 00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,650 which is what antivenom is made from, 132 00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:05,043 they could make quite the pretty penny. 133 00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:07,655 - Why are you telling me this? - I'm a doctor! 134 00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:11,267 I'm all about that sweet mmmmoney-money-money-money... 135 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,313 money-money-money-money money-money-mmmoney! 136 00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:14,618 Hmmm. 137 00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:17,273 "Money, money, money, money," you say? 138 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,753 No, like this... 139 00:05:18,796 --> 00:05:20,513 Mmmmoney-money-money-money money-money-mmmoney! 140 00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:22,800 Oh! Oh, yeah, yeah. Money-money-money-money! 141 00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:24,430 BOTH: Money-money-money-money money-money-money! 142 00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:27,283 Money-money-money-money money-money-money-money! 143 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,893 Now Eskimo kisses! 144 00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:30,852 Money-money-money-money money-money-money! 145 00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:33,202 [flashers clicking] 146 00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:37,075 Wait here while I run these bad boys on down to Dr. Dubs. 147 00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:39,643 What kind of experiment is the doctor working on, anyway? 148 00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:41,384 Eh, some kind of experimental surgery 149 00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:43,560 to increase intelligence or some crap. 150 00:05:43,604 --> 00:05:45,432 [gasps] Do you think he could do it to me? 151 00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:46,824 Dumb guy like you? 152 00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:48,435 I can see why you'd be interested. 153 00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:50,350 But he still hasn't perfected the operation. 154 00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:51,501 Most of these animals'll end up 155 00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:53,483 dimmer than an Amish Christmas tree. 156 00:05:53,527 --> 00:05:54,876 [owl screeches] 157 00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:57,661 I like that you screeched at my joke, wise old owl. 158 00:05:57,705 --> 00:06:00,055 You I might just keep for myself. 159 00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:04,842 Sure is spooky here after dark. 160 00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:06,409 [ominous music, wind whooshes] 161 00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:08,063 Aah! Babadook! 162 00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:12,372 I wish! It's just stupid old me. 163 00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:14,417 I was making ramen on my hotplate, 164 00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:16,419 and the dang pot fell on my head. 165 00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:19,030 Oh. Phew! What are you doing here? 166 00:06:19,074 --> 00:06:20,597 My girlfriend kicked me out! 167 00:06:20,641 --> 00:06:23,774 Aw, that's awful, Mr. Whoever-You-Are. 168 00:06:23,818 --> 00:06:26,386 Take it from me, kid... don't ever be in a relationship 169 00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:27,996 with someone smarter than you. 170 00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:29,389 It won't last. 171 00:06:31,129 --> 00:06:32,174 [door whooshes open] 172 00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:33,915 Dr. Wishbone... 173 00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:36,831 I'd like to volunteer for your a-speriment. 174 00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:39,616 Oh, I would love to have a human test subject, 175 00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:42,445 but you should know there's a 99% chance 176 00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:43,881 you'll end up brain-dead. 177 00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:46,841 Uhhh, 99 out of a million? 178 00:06:46,884 --> 00:06:50,627 I think I'll take my chances. 179 00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,063 [thud] 180 00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:55,240 ♪ 181 00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:56,894 STAN: Tell you what, Screechy... 182 00:06:56,938 --> 00:07:00,158 maybe the move is to track down this beautiful sicko. 183 00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:01,856 Score ten dogs at once. 184 00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:03,553 [owl screeches] 185 00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:06,077 Dad, have you seen Jeff? He never came home last night. 186 00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:07,688 Oh, yeah, he volunteered himself 187 00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:10,081 for a deadly experimental surgery at the CIA. 188 00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:12,736 What?! Why didn't you stop him?! 189 00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:14,651 I guess I don't care whether he lives or dies. 190 00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:16,261 Ughhh! 191 00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:19,351 - Hoo! - Jeff. 192 00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:21,092 [tires screech, glass shatters] 193 00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:25,880 Stop this atrocity at once! 194 00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:28,186 Oh, Hayley! I'm glad you're here. 195 00:07:28,230 --> 00:07:30,624 As Jeff's legal guardian, you need to sign this release 196 00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:32,669 before I can do the operation. 197 00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:35,672 You must be suckin' the glass [bleep] if you think 198 00:07:35,716 --> 00:07:38,632 I am gonna give Jeff permission to go through with this... 199 00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,677 "Intelligence Enhancement"? 200 00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,723 Out of curiosity, has this worked 201 00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,768 on any of your test animals? 202 00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:47,728 There's one goose that's now in Mensa. 203 00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,164 [goose honks] 204 00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:51,514 Did I get it right this time, Doc? 205 00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:53,647 Oh, if it isn't Babe. 206 00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:55,344 Hopefully here to stop me 207 00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:58,086 from doing this super-dangerous thing. 208 00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:00,958 - He's all yours, Doc! - Oh. 209 00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:03,047 [saw whirring] 210 00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:04,179 ♪ 211 00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:05,485 [pop!] 212 00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:10,533 ♪ 213 00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:12,361 [beeping] 214 00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:15,712 ♪ 215 00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,764 JEFF [weakly]: H-Hayley? 216 00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:26,636 Dr. Weitzman? Smart Goose? 217 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,682 - Did it work? - Let's find out. 218 00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:30,858 Which of the little people 219 00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:34,339 is wearing his hospital gown correctly? 220 00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:36,472 - This one. - [Hayley and Dr. Weitzman sigh] 221 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:39,083 ...seems to have had a bit of a sartorial snafu. 222 00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:41,129 - Hm?! - He's taken his "privates" 223 00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:43,087 public, so to speak. 224 00:08:43,131 --> 00:08:45,568 One might even call it an IPO... 225 00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:48,005 an Ignominious Penile Ostentation. 226 00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:49,137 [goose honks] 227 00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:51,966 You can honk that again, Squawky. 228 00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:54,446 Now, he will need to avoid marijuana, 229 00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:56,666 which could dull the effects of the procedure. 230 00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:59,147 I can also tell you that is a fake diploma. 231 00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:00,931 He's not wrong! 232 00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:03,586 ♪ 233 00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:06,415 [French accent] Ah, Mr. Fischer, welcome back! 234 00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:09,461 Shall I bring for you extra children's menus 235 00:09:09,505 --> 00:09:12,334 so you may attempt the maze as many times as you like? 236 00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:13,727 Merci, non. 237 00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:15,380 Une bouteille de Châteauneuf-du-Pape 238 00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:17,295 et du pain pour la table, s'il vous plaît. 239 00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:19,950 [American accent] You have exposed my secret shame. 240 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:22,736 I am not French, nor do I speak the language. 241 00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:25,652 Did Jeff take a ten-gallon Gingko enema 242 00:09:25,695 --> 00:09:28,002 this morning or what? 'Cause he seems, like, 243 00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:29,960 a billion times smarter than he used to be. 244 00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:31,962 I know! Isn't it great? 245 00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:34,661 Per te, amore mio. 246 00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:36,880 Say what you will about Seurat. 247 00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:38,839 No one can accuse his art of being... 248 00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:39,970 pointless. 249 00:09:41,058 --> 00:09:44,235 That is so witty, it's almost funny. 250 00:09:44,279 --> 00:09:46,890 You know, Johanna is hosting a small fundraiser 251 00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:49,632 for the McKennon Foundation at her lake house this weekend. 252 00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,591 You guys should come. 253 00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:52,592 [shrieks] 254 00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:54,594 As they say in Reykjavík... 255 00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:59,729 [speaking Icelandic] 256 00:09:59,773 --> 00:10:01,426 What he said. 257 00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:03,777 [bird screeching] 258 00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:06,083 So, by now, Barry's going back 259 00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:07,452 to the Steve Madden a third time... 260 00:10:07,476 --> 00:10:08,912 - [rattling] - Shh, shh, shut up! 261 00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:10,871 Your story sucks, and I hear a rattler. 262 00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:12,612 [rattling] 263 00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:15,484 Oingo boingo! We got cornbread! 264 00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:17,660 Here. Take some clackers and work that string bean 265 00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:18,984 - on outta there. - [tongs clack] 266 00:10:19,009 --> 00:10:20,881 What?! Why would I do that?! 267 00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,752 Because I'm Chazz Babylon, 268 00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:25,015 Speculative Venom Harvester. 269 00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:26,495 And you're my bag man. 270 00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,715 You told me you were Chico Dungaree, 271 00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:30,804 Former Twisted Sister Roadie, 272 00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:32,849 and that we were just going on a nature walk! 273 00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:34,808 Chazz Babylon is a pathological liar. 274 00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,070 Now get clackin'! 275 00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:37,811 I will not! 276 00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:39,726 The world needs antivenom, Steve. 277 00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:41,858 Think of how many lives we'll save. 278 00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:44,382 [sighing] All right. We can try. 279 00:10:44,426 --> 00:10:46,689 Okay, now first we gotta clack him outta that bush. 280 00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:48,473 [tongs clacking] 281 00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:50,345 - [snake hissing] - Now hold up a second. 282 00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:51,955 I wanna make sure we got a good one. 283 00:10:53,174 --> 00:10:55,089 Ow! It's him! And he nipped me! 284 00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:56,786 - Oh, my God! - I got nipped! 285 00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:58,353 Quick, grab his tail! 286 00:10:58,396 --> 00:10:59,702 [screaming] 287 00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:02,139 Ohh, he's mad now! Oh, he nipped me again! 288 00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:05,142 - I got nipped! You get nipped? - Ohh! Yow! I got nipped! 289 00:11:05,186 --> 00:11:05,926 - I got nipped! - I'm gettin' nipped! 290 00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:07,318 - Ohh! Ow! Oww! - Ohh! 291 00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:08,731 I'm gettin' nipped a whole bunch right now! 292 00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,365 Ow! Let's bag this sucker! 293 00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:12,454 - [screaming] - Get him in there! Aah! 294 00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:14,499 - I'm trying! - [both screaming] 295 00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:17,067 [both screaming] 296 00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:19,983 Ah! We did it, Steve. 297 00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:22,333 [Steve screaming, snake biting] 298 00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:24,161 Oh, my God. 299 00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:26,947 He doesn't have his clackers. He's doomed! 300 00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,165 [Steve screaming] 301 00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:30,559 [Vivaldi's Spring plays] 302 00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:32,953 Wife. Noun. 303 00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:35,782 A woman who regrets a decision. 304 00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:38,741 [laughter, fingers snapping] 305 00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:41,091 What then of "husband"? 306 00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:43,354 The man who begets her derision. 307 00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:44,791 [laughter] 308 00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:48,708 More snaps! More snaps for you! 309 00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:51,188 Jeff, we simply have to have you 310 00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:53,364 as a contestant on Oo Oo, I Know That. 311 00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:55,236 Johanna's going to be a guest panelist. 312 00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:56,933 What do you say, Johanna? 313 00:11:56,977 --> 00:11:58,152 Certainly. 314 00:11:58,195 --> 00:12:00,284 So long as he helps me with this devil 315 00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:02,460 of a New Yorker caption contest. 316 00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:04,375 Any suggestions? 317 00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:05,899 JEFF: Hmm. 318 00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:08,249 How about, "I've heard of a bull market, 319 00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:09,903 but this is ridiculous"? 320 00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:11,382 [laughter] 321 00:12:11,426 --> 00:12:15,560 Or, "Of course on the day I wear my red tie." 322 00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:19,347 Or, "Everybody has been saying the new guy is horny." 323 00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:21,349 "Think that belt is real leather?" 324 00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:23,612 "I heard this place had fresh beef, 325 00:12:23,655 --> 00:12:25,919 but this is ridiculous!" 326 00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:28,573 [laughter continues] 327 00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:30,227 Now you do one, babe. 328 00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:34,057 Uhhhhhhh... 329 00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:37,539 Business... bull? 330 00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,125 - Ugh. That's just... - That doesn't quite connect. 331 00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:40,629 - Nice try, but... - Very, very bad. 332 00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:41,978 [crickets chirping] 333 00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:43,719 [snoring] 334 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,852 [ominous music plays] 335 00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:49,725 [choking] 336 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,510 What th... A weed gummy?! 337 00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:55,122 You know that could affect my treatment! 338 00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:57,515 Oh, my God! A-Are you trying to... 339 00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,343 sabotage me?! 340 00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:01,824 ALEXA: Playing "Rabbitage" by Weird Al. 341 00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:03,608 ♪ I'll nab cabbage ♪ 342 00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:05,349 - Alexa, off! - ♪ And do my da... ♪ 343 00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:07,656 You know, Johanna was right about you. 344 00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:10,093 You are pathologically insecure! 345 00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:13,009 Wh... You've been talking to Johanna about us? 346 00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:15,533 First you risk my life to make me smarter, 347 00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:18,449 now you nearly kill me trying to dumb me back down?! 348 00:13:18,493 --> 00:13:20,016 I'm sorry, Jeff! 349 00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:22,212 I-I was scared you were getting too smart for me and... 350 00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:23,846 But I should thank you. 351 00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:25,935 Because now that I am smart, 352 00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:29,417 I finally see what a selfish person you are. 353 00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,332 No, Jeff, please don't see that! 354 00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:32,768 I never cared you weren't 355 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,292 the most erudite person in the world. 356 00:13:35,336 --> 00:13:39,557 But I can't be with someone who's downright flagitious! 357 00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:41,646 [gasps] 358 00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,170 [door slams] 359 00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:45,259 - F-L... - It means "villainous"! 360 00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:47,827 - I know what it means! - [door slams] 361 00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:52,875 ♪ 362 00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,877 Well, Screechy, he did it. 363 00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:56,531 He won the Tournament of Champions. 364 00:13:56,574 --> 00:13:57,662 Hoo. 365 00:13:57,706 --> 00:13:59,621 Don't make me say his name, Screech. 366 00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,841 Hayley, honey? 367 00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:04,408 The ice-cream truck just came by. 368 00:14:04,452 --> 00:14:07,759 I got you one of those [bleep]-up Sonic the Hedgehogs. 369 00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:09,849 [sighs] Thanks, Mom. 370 00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,589 You've just seemed so sad 371 00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:14,157 these last few months since Jeff left. 372 00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:15,811 No, we've both moved on. 373 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,682 He's with Johanna now, 374 00:14:17,726 --> 00:14:21,338 and I'm happy with my new boyfriend ...ron. 375 00:14:21,382 --> 00:14:24,037 Dahhh! Hey, Hayley! Lookit! 376 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,953 I knocked it right outta its nest with a rock 377 00:14:26,996 --> 00:14:29,564 from all the way a long ways! 378 00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:31,218 Like, ungh! 379 00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:34,134 Myron! You're gonna get West Nile again! 380 00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:36,919 Aww! You got a Sonic bar?! Gimme! 381 00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,442 [munching] 382 00:14:38,486 --> 00:14:40,488 Let's go to the old tire factory 383 00:14:40,531 --> 00:14:42,882 and whip this bird against the big rock! 384 00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:44,405 [chuckles and grunts] 385 00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:46,015 [chuckling] 386 00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:47,408 [sighs] 387 00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:52,761 I wish Stan would take me places. 388 00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:55,024 - Waaaaah! Rock-throw! - [glass shatters] 389 00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:56,678 Million points! 390 00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:59,507 Hey, Hayley! You see that? [laughs] 391 00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:01,335 Yes, Myron. Very good, Myron. 392 00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:04,381 ♪ I'll nab cabbage and... ♪ 393 00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:06,731 Gouda Tenuta, what's nuts? 394 00:15:06,775 --> 00:15:09,082 Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. 395 00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,953 Marco's been missing for how long? 396 00:15:13,216 --> 00:15:15,566 Listen, I've been doing a lot of research. 397 00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:17,960 Every male winner of the Tournament of Champions 398 00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:20,397 has gone missing a few weeks later. 399 00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:22,747 And it has something to do with the McKennon Foundation. 400 00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:25,272 Oh, Hayley, conspiracy theories 401 00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:27,709 are the refuge of the dispossessed. 402 00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:29,798 Kava root ristretto? [slurps] 403 00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:32,975 Jeff, please. I think you may be in some kind of danger. 404 00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:34,716 Only of losing my patience! 405 00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:36,979 Clearly, you've transmuted your guilt 406 00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,676 over destroying our relationship 407 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,678 into this absurd fairy tale. 408 00:15:40,722 --> 00:15:44,117 Well, enough. It is over between us. 409 00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,599 [Myron panting] 410 00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:52,908 ♪ 411 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,736 Forget about her, lover. 412 00:15:54,779 --> 00:15:58,174 A brighter future awaits us. 413 00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:00,307 Let's play at puns. 414 00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:03,005 "Air Hare." Ten letters. 415 00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:04,876 Hmm. Kite Rabbit? 416 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:08,054 Close. But the answer is actually... 417 00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:09,925 - Ether bunny! - [muffled scream] 418 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:14,451 Come now, Jeff. Destiny calls. 419 00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:17,541 [door bangs] 420 00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:20,109 Wakey, wakey! Milk some snakeys! 421 00:16:20,153 --> 00:16:22,807 Time to get out there again, right back on the horse. 422 00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:23,983 Clack clack clack! 423 00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:26,463 You must be suckin' the glass [bleep] 424 00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:28,552 if you think I'm going back out with you. 425 00:16:28,596 --> 00:16:30,250 You were never out to save lives. 426 00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:31,991 You just wanted to make money. 427 00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,533 It may have started out being about the money, 428 00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:34,950 but not anymore. 429 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,908 Well, maybe a little. I did sink quite a bit 430 00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:38,954 into having all these T-shirts made. 431 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,218 But otherwise, now it's all about saving lives. 432 00:16:42,262 --> 00:16:45,265 I won't rest until every snakebite victim 433 00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:46,875 has the antivenom they need! 434 00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:49,225 - [snake hisses] - Aah! 435 00:16:49,269 --> 00:16:50,661 [ploink!] 436 00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:51,749 - Aah! - [ploink!] 437 00:16:52,576 --> 00:16:56,319 - Aah! - [ploink!] 438 00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:58,321 - Aah! Aah! - [ploink! ploink!] 439 00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:00,584 [ploink! ploink! ploink! ploink! ploink!] 440 00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:01,933 - [snake hisses] - Aah! 441 00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:04,066 I'm afraid you've single-handedly 442 00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:06,851 depleted the world's entire supply of antivenom. 443 00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:09,941 Many have died, and now you will, too. 444 00:17:09,985 --> 00:17:12,596 Clack's all... folks. 445 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:13,728 [monitor flatlines] 446 00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:16,165 [gasps] My Chazz! 447 00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:17,819 Noooooooo! 448 00:17:17,862 --> 00:17:19,168 [Jeff groans] 449 00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:22,998 [gasps] The Meisterzucht awakes! 450 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,652 Wh-Where am I? 451 00:17:24,695 --> 00:17:28,047 At the threshold of a new age. 452 00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:29,396 Welcome... 453 00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:32,181 to the McKennon Foundation! 454 00:17:32,225 --> 00:17:34,140 Why are you doing this?! 455 00:17:34,183 --> 00:17:37,012 Why, to create a brighter generation, 456 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:40,711 free of dumdums, dingdongs, and dingalings. 457 00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:43,627 We use Oo Oo, I Know That 458 00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:47,109 to identify intellects of the highest genetic caliber, 459 00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:49,633 then harvest their seed to be... 460 00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:51,461 disseminated... 461 00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:53,289 [laughter] 462 00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:56,379 Pun uh-very much intended. [chuckles] 463 00:17:56,423 --> 00:17:59,556 ...to fertility clinics the world over! 464 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:04,735 And you, Jeff, you are the most smartest one of all! 465 00:18:04,779 --> 00:18:06,476 Der Meisterzucht! 466 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,739 The Master Stud! 467 00:18:08,783 --> 00:18:10,567 Commence milking! 468 00:18:10,611 --> 00:18:12,874 [clang, machinery whirring] 469 00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:15,181 [men screaming] 470 00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:17,226 Yaaaaaaawwww! You might think this would feel good, 471 00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:19,533 but it's agonyyyyyy! 472 00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:21,056 [screaming] 473 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,537 [scream fades] 474 00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:25,016 [whirring stops] 475 00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:27,715 Ready the Meisterzucht for harvest! 476 00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:30,500 Wait! No! No! Listen! My genes are useless to you. 477 00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:33,286 My intelligence stems from biomedical intervention! 478 00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:35,940 Uh, you don't think we already tried that old chestnut... 479 00:18:35,984 --> 00:18:38,160 - [machinery clangs] - My balls! 480 00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:41,424 Milk the Meisterzucht! 481 00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:44,079 ♪ 482 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:47,474 Yah, Myron! Yah! 483 00:18:47,517 --> 00:18:48,779 ♪ 484 00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:51,130 Myron! Attack! 485 00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:53,175 Rock! Bird! Bird! 486 00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:54,481 - Rock! Rat! - [grunting] 487 00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:56,004 [all shouting] 488 00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:58,180 Let's get outta here. 489 00:18:58,224 --> 00:19:04,099 ♪ 490 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,274 [banging] 491 00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:06,884 You came for me. 492 00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:09,452 Even though it means now you'll die, too. 493 00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:10,801 What can I say? 494 00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:13,108 I think my problem all along has been, 495 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:17,068 when it comes to you, I'm just a great big dummy. 496 00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:18,418 [banging continues, man shouting] 497 00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:19,941 We gotta think of a way out of here. 498 00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:21,832 But those are some of the most intelligent people 499 00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:23,031 in the world out there. 500 00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:24,598 We'll never outsmart them! 501 00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:27,601 No. But we may be able to outstupid them. 502 00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:30,386 I need to be dumb again, so I can think up a plan 503 00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:32,693 so stupid they could never expect it. 504 00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:35,043 How?! We don't have any weed! 505 00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:38,264 The answer's as easy as autolobotomy. 506 00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:41,658 [squishing] 507 00:19:41,702 --> 00:19:43,486 [pop] 508 00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:46,924 Have you ever wondered what the colors on maps mean? 509 00:19:46,968 --> 00:19:49,057 They gotta mean something. 510 00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:51,146 Quick, what's your stupid plan? 511 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,845 Since Vaseline is clear, 512 00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:57,021 once we cover ourselves in it... 513 00:19:57,065 --> 00:19:59,720 ...we become absolutely, 514 00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:02,549 one-million-percent invisible. 515 00:20:02,592 --> 00:20:05,508 Oh, wow. This is stupid. 516 00:20:05,552 --> 00:20:07,423 Seize them! 517 00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:08,903 ♪ 518 00:20:08,946 --> 00:20:11,122 - [squishing] - Ugh! 519 00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:12,646 [squishing] 520 00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:15,301 Uch! They're too damn slippery! 521 00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:17,477 - [squish] - Whoo! 522 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,696 [alarm blaring, machinery clanking] 523 00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:23,570 ♪ 524 00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:26,921 [gasps] The Spank Tank! 525 00:20:26,964 --> 00:20:29,053 All our precious seed! 526 00:20:32,579 --> 00:20:38,541 ♪ 527 00:20:38,585 --> 00:20:40,500 CARTOON DINOSAUR: C'mon, Snugglesaurus. 528 00:20:40,543 --> 00:20:43,154 We can still make it to the Great Valley. 529 00:20:43,198 --> 00:20:44,330 You know what I'm wondering? 530 00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:46,114 If we maybe should've tried to save 531 00:20:46,157 --> 00:20:47,463 those other men in that basement? 532 00:20:47,507 --> 00:20:48,769 No. 533 00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:51,119 Do you think all the dino-snaurs stayed friends 534 00:20:51,162 --> 00:20:52,947 when they were done shooting the movie? 535 00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:55,906 Babe, don't ever change. 536 00:20:55,950 --> 00:20:57,865 Have a great night!