1 00:00:03,450 --> 00:00:04,850 Rog, I'm 10 out. 2 00:00:04,890 --> 00:00:06,420 I'll scoop you, and then we're headed straight 3 00:00:06,460 --> 00:00:08,630 to the Sharks Nest for some laser hockey, baby. 4 00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:11,330 Pew pew! My favorite sport! Can't wait. 5 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:12,560 Check this. 6 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:14,160 We're sitting in the mayor's box. 7 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:15,530 Dick's been moonlighting 8 00:00:15,570 --> 00:00:17,170 as Mayor Garfield's Chief of Security. 9 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,670 Yeah, Dick, killing it! 10 00:00:18,700 --> 00:00:21,040 You're coming as your Pete Van Smash persona, right? 11 00:00:21,070 --> 00:00:22,540 You know it! Good. 12 00:00:22,570 --> 00:00:25,210 All the guys from work think Van Smash is a God. 13 00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:27,110 He loves sports, and he's always on the hunt 14 00:00:27,140 --> 00:00:28,850 for new awesome porn. 15 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,150 Van Smash always brings the fire. 16 00:00:31,180 --> 00:00:33,080 I'm going to slip into him right now. 17 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,490 [ Ring tone plays ] 18 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:36,820 Hell yeah. 19 00:00:36,850 --> 00:00:38,320 What up, blowhole? 20 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:40,160 I hate to do this, but I got to flake on you 21 00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:42,030 for that laser game. What? 22 00:00:42,060 --> 00:00:43,690 Why didn't you just tell me on the other line? 23 00:00:43,730 --> 00:00:47,160 Van Smash doesn't make other people take out his trash, bruh. 24 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,100 I got to go. I'm about to get in an accident. 25 00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:50,130 [ Engine revs ] 26 00:00:50,170 --> 00:00:51,500 [ Glass shatters ] 27 00:00:54,370 --> 00:00:56,910 * Good morning, U.S.A. 28 00:00:56,940 --> 00:01:00,740 * I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day * 29 00:01:00,780 --> 00:01:03,880 * The sun in the sky has a smile on his face * 30 00:01:03,910 --> 00:01:08,290 * And he's shinin' a salute to the American race * 31 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,560 * Oh, boy, it's swell to say 32 00:01:13,590 --> 00:01:16,030 * Good -- * Good morning, U.S.A. 33 00:01:16,060 --> 00:01:17,090 Aah! 34 00:01:18,430 --> 00:01:21,730 * Good morning, U.S.A. 35 00:01:21,770 --> 00:01:24,600 Announcer: That's a laser goal! 36 00:01:24,630 --> 00:01:25,840 Three points! 37 00:01:25,870 --> 00:01:28,070 -Yeah! -Yeah, yeah! 38 00:01:28,100 --> 00:01:30,470 How sweet is this box? 39 00:01:30,510 --> 00:01:32,110 Stan, where's Van Smash? 40 00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:34,280 He totally flaked. Oh, man. 41 00:01:34,310 --> 00:01:36,110 I bet he had something cool to do. 42 00:01:36,150 --> 00:01:38,780 He's probably being so funny right now. 43 00:01:38,820 --> 00:01:41,190 That's too bad. I wanted everyone here 44 00:01:41,220 --> 00:01:42,920 so I could share some good news. 45 00:01:42,950 --> 00:01:45,460 With the extra money I'm making working for the mayor, 46 00:01:45,490 --> 00:01:48,060 I finally bought that boat I've been lusting after. 47 00:01:48,090 --> 00:01:50,130 The one that's been rusting in the Walmart parking lot 48 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:51,500 for the last three years? 49 00:01:51,530 --> 00:01:53,960 Yep! But that's not the good news. 50 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,300 If I had not moved out of my apartment 51 00:01:56,330 --> 00:01:57,900 and on to that boat, then I wouldn't have met 52 00:01:57,930 --> 00:01:59,500 the love of my life. 53 00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:01,840 Meet Becky Tenderhearts. 54 00:02:01,870 --> 00:02:03,470 Goddamnit. 55 00:02:03,510 --> 00:02:05,240 I got to ask, how do you guys concentrate at work 56 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:08,980 with this tub of hot roast beef slopping around? 57 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,950 Francine, I came across a pretty troubling photo 58 00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:16,950 from your bender last night. 59 00:02:16,990 --> 00:02:18,460 Francine: Oh, God! 60 00:02:18,490 --> 00:02:19,820 I made out with Tuttle? 61 00:02:19,860 --> 00:02:22,330 -Ew! Mom! -Get it, Mrs. S! 62 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,600 I wonder if I took a bite or ate the whole thing. 63 00:02:25,630 --> 00:02:28,030 I better pop a Plan B. 64 00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:31,440 Got you! It's Photoshop, baby! 65 00:02:31,470 --> 00:02:33,100 All: Ah! 66 00:02:33,140 --> 00:02:35,640 [ Applause ] Too kind, too kind. 67 00:02:35,670 --> 00:02:37,840 Little light on the cheering there, Klaus. 68 00:02:37,870 --> 00:02:39,640 Now, to more important matters. 69 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:40,910 What the hell, Roger?! 70 00:02:40,940 --> 00:02:41,910 You have to break up with Dick! 71 00:02:41,950 --> 00:02:42,980 I command it! 72 00:02:43,010 --> 00:02:44,910 First, I'm not dating Dick. 73 00:02:44,950 --> 00:02:47,450 My persona, Becky Tenderhearts, is. 74 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,020 Second, I'm not dumping him. 75 00:02:49,050 --> 00:02:50,320 Becky is in love! 76 00:02:50,350 --> 00:02:52,120 All: Aw! Yes. 77 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:53,160 [ Applause ] 78 00:02:53,190 --> 00:02:54,860 That is so sweet! 79 00:02:54,890 --> 00:02:56,860 It isn't sweet, Hayley. It's annoying. 80 00:02:56,890 --> 00:02:59,300 Roger ditched me, so there I was looking like 81 00:02:59,330 --> 00:03:01,870 an ass kneeling during the national anthem all alone! 82 00:03:01,900 --> 00:03:03,500 Relax. Every once and a while, 83 00:03:03,530 --> 00:03:06,100 my characters schedules conflict, but don't worry. 84 00:03:06,140 --> 00:03:08,440 I don't see any other conflicts on the horizon. 85 00:03:08,470 --> 00:03:10,810 Good because you and I have a big 86 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,880 Wheels and the Legman case to crack. 87 00:03:12,910 --> 00:03:15,510 The Legman is ready, and, Frannie, Hayley, 88 00:03:15,550 --> 00:03:17,650 I'll be there as Jeannie Gold to help you plan 89 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:19,050 Nerfer's bachelorette party. 90 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,950 I can't believe Nerfer is settling down. 91 00:03:21,990 --> 00:03:24,090 She has such big tits! 92 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,890 And Raider Dave and I are watching the game tomorrow. 93 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:29,560 See, Stan? Plenty of Roger to go around. 94 00:03:29,590 --> 00:03:32,560 Now, if you'll excuse me, Becky has some planning to do. 95 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,330 She's moving on to Dick's boat! 96 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:37,100 Roger, that's a big step! 97 00:03:37,130 --> 00:03:39,400 Stop. It's just easier, Steve. 98 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,340 Sure, Roger. That's the reason. 99 00:03:41,370 --> 00:03:42,940 Shut up, Steve! 100 00:03:49,210 --> 00:03:50,610 Oh, no, bro. 101 00:03:50,650 --> 00:03:52,320 That's my buddy Raider Dave's lucky seat. 102 00:03:52,350 --> 00:03:54,820 We're bonded in blood as citizens of Raider Nation, 103 00:03:54,850 --> 00:03:56,720 and he's going to be here any second! 104 00:03:56,750 --> 00:03:58,150 Awesome. Oh! 105 00:03:58,190 --> 00:04:00,020 Damn it, Roger. 106 00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:01,890 Where are you? 107 00:04:01,930 --> 00:04:06,400 Jalapeño popper on the floor. Don't do it, Klaus. 108 00:04:06,430 --> 00:04:07,930 Oh, sick! 109 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:10,730 I caught this right before it hit the ground! 110 00:04:10,770 --> 00:04:14,000 The Raider game is about to start if anyone's interested! 111 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:17,640 Who cares about football when we've got this beautiful sunset 112 00:04:17,670 --> 00:04:18,910 over the marina. 113 00:04:18,940 --> 00:04:21,780 [ Sniffs ] And that glorious smell? 114 00:04:21,810 --> 00:04:23,180 What is that smell, Dick? 115 00:04:23,210 --> 00:04:24,450 Dead seagull. 116 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,080 Thank you for this life. 117 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:28,790 [ Both moaning ] 118 00:04:30,390 --> 00:04:34,190 Mom, Nerfer's bachelorette must be pirate themed! 119 00:04:34,220 --> 00:04:35,790 Nerfer loves pirates! 120 00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:39,030 That's why I've been saying we should go steampunk. 121 00:04:39,060 --> 00:04:42,630 It includes pirates but has some gadgets. 122 00:04:42,670 --> 00:04:45,570 If Roger were here, Jeannie Gold would tell you to listen 123 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,270 to what the bride wants, 124 00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:49,970 and Nerfer doesn't want future pirates! 125 00:04:50,010 --> 00:04:53,110 Jeannie Gold would help me kick your ass 126 00:04:53,140 --> 00:04:56,880 because she knows that steampunk isn't future! 127 00:04:56,910 --> 00:04:59,920 It's an alternate timeline where technology 128 00:04:59,950 --> 00:05:02,590 developed differently, you piece of shit! 129 00:05:02,620 --> 00:05:03,950 Aah! Aah! 130 00:05:03,990 --> 00:05:06,390 [ Country music playing ] 131 00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:12,330 I love dancing barefoot here. 132 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:16,630 I can feel the peanut shells crunch beneath my toes. 133 00:05:16,670 --> 00:05:18,900 Hey! That guy pinched my ass. 134 00:05:18,940 --> 00:05:21,910 He's going to eat some Dick fist. 135 00:05:21,940 --> 00:05:22,870 Ugh! 136 00:05:22,910 --> 00:05:25,170 [ Grunting, screaming ] 137 00:05:25,210 --> 00:05:27,310 Stop it! Dick, stop it. 138 00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:29,350 That guy didn't really pinch my ass. 139 00:05:29,380 --> 00:05:30,650 [ Glass shatters ] Dick, this guy 140 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,780 just threw a glass at you. 141 00:05:32,820 --> 00:05:35,020 Hey, Jeff. You here to ride Clip Clop? 142 00:05:35,050 --> 00:05:37,090 Every Tuesday at midnight. 143 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:40,390 Clippy Cloppy, I've got a dirty carrot for... 144 00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:42,660 [ Gasps ] Oh, no. 145 00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:44,030 Clip Clop's gone! 146 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:50,970 As soon as I bang my gavel, you will be sentenced to death 147 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,800 unless, of course, something crazy happens 148 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:54,540 in the next five seconds. Five, four... 149 00:05:54,570 --> 00:05:55,540 [ Door opens ] Steve: Wait! 150 00:05:55,570 --> 00:05:56,540 [ Crowd gasping ] 151 00:05:56,570 --> 00:05:58,340 This man is innocent! 152 00:05:58,370 --> 00:05:59,340 Who are you? 153 00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:02,280 We're Wheels and... 154 00:06:02,310 --> 00:06:03,810 Legman? 155 00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:06,850 He's supposed to be here with the evidence. 156 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,280 Oh, well. 157 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:13,360 10,000 volts for Mr. No-Bicycle-Helmet here. 158 00:06:13,390 --> 00:06:18,660 ** 159 00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:21,160 Do you think this is what Heaven's like? 160 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,770 No. Heaven's got way more birds. 161 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,680 The Smiths! As I live and breathe. 162 00:06:33,710 --> 00:06:34,710 What has it been, 163 00:06:34,740 --> 00:06:36,580 10 years? Try a decade. 164 00:06:36,610 --> 00:06:39,250 We're having one of our famous all-family meetings. 165 00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:40,580 Say no more. 166 00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:43,590 I'll bring you each a glass of marinara. 167 00:06:45,090 --> 00:06:47,360 I call this family meeting to order. 168 00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:50,090 Roger's relationship with Dick has consumed him. 169 00:06:50,130 --> 00:06:51,560 He's flaking on all of us! 170 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,960 He's losing himself in Dick. 171 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,400 We need to break them up. 172 00:06:54,430 --> 00:06:57,030 But Roger will never break up with Dick. 173 00:06:57,070 --> 00:07:00,370 We need Dick to break up with him, but how? 174 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:04,240 What if we bribe Dick with, I don't know, Kit Kats? 175 00:07:04,270 --> 00:07:06,340 Klaus, I'm curious. 176 00:07:06,380 --> 00:07:07,580 Why not money? 177 00:07:07,610 --> 00:07:09,550 I'm curious, too, Steve. 178 00:07:09,580 --> 00:07:11,980 If I know one thing about Dick, 179 00:07:12,020 --> 00:07:14,480 it's that he hates getting cheated on. 180 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:16,650 Is there anything there? Wait a second. 181 00:07:16,690 --> 00:07:20,220 Klaus recently became amazing at Photoshop. 182 00:07:20,260 --> 00:07:23,490 He could make it look like Becky has been cheating on Dick. 183 00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,030 Is this true, Klaus? 184 00:07:25,060 --> 00:07:26,300 Is it true that you've recently 185 00:07:26,330 --> 00:07:27,730 become amazing at Photoshop? 186 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:29,170 Let me put it this way. 187 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,670 I've recently become amazing at Photoshop. 188 00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:32,940 Perfect. 189 00:07:32,970 --> 00:07:35,640 On to our next order of business. 190 00:07:35,670 --> 00:07:38,170 Steven Smith is motioning that his new nickname 191 00:07:38,210 --> 00:07:40,480 is Bayou Billy With The Heavy Balls. 192 00:07:40,510 --> 00:07:41,480 All those in favor? 193 00:07:41,510 --> 00:07:43,010 All: Aye. 194 00:07:43,050 --> 00:07:45,950 Congratulations, Bayou Billy With the Heavy Balls. 195 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:49,750 On my way to work, 196 00:07:49,790 --> 00:07:51,720 I bought a bunch of new ropes for my boat. 197 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,290 I'm talking really good ropes. 198 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:56,790 Damn, Dick. These sound like great ropes. 199 00:07:56,830 --> 00:07:58,360 Please tell me you got pics. 200 00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:02,100 Better than pics, I have the ropes. 201 00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:03,570 They're here? 202 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:05,170 Dick, I've been really happy for you 203 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,800 over the last couple weeks, 204 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,270 over the Moon honestly, but you're my best friend. 205 00:08:09,310 --> 00:08:11,310 I am? For this situation, yes, 206 00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:13,610 and I can't lie to my best friend. 207 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:16,950 I was on the Googz doing some "I Feel Lucky" searches, 208 00:08:16,980 --> 00:08:19,750 and I stumbled across a pretty disturbing image. 209 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:22,650 I don't know. 210 00:08:22,690 --> 00:08:25,590 It's Becky, but this looks old. 211 00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:28,630 I'm not naive enough to think she never dated before me. 212 00:08:28,660 --> 00:08:33,130 Wait. Look at the guy holding the newspaper. 213 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:34,530 "Two Days Ago"?! 214 00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:37,230 How could she?! 215 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:45,640 Dick dumped me. 216 00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:46,840 He stomped on my heart 217 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:48,540 and wouldn't even tell me why. 218 00:08:48,580 --> 00:08:50,050 Do you think it was because I had to 219 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,350 stop sex once because I had a hair in my throat, 220 00:08:52,380 --> 00:08:53,520 and when I finally got it out, 221 00:08:53,550 --> 00:08:55,050 it was a whole eagle feather? 222 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,920 [ Sobs ] 223 00:08:57,950 --> 00:08:59,790 Well, we did an underhanded thing, 224 00:08:59,820 --> 00:09:01,690 but I'd say it's pretty clear that life 225 00:09:01,730 --> 00:09:03,330 is going to go back to normal. 226 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:06,700 I will never, ever get over this! 227 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,070 Oh, hey, Francine. 228 00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:11,370 I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay 229 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,200 after Becky's big breakup. 230 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,840 Oh, wasn't that so fun? She was devastated. 231 00:09:15,870 --> 00:09:17,740 What a great ending to her story. 232 00:09:17,770 --> 00:09:19,740 Whenever a character's story arc is over, 233 00:09:19,780 --> 00:09:21,680 I vacuum seal their costume 234 00:09:21,710 --> 00:09:23,480 and store it in my character closet. 235 00:09:23,510 --> 00:09:24,980 One thing they don't tell you about these 236 00:09:25,010 --> 00:09:26,880 vacuum pouches is you can save a ton of money 237 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:28,890 by not buying the pump. 238 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:30,420 [ Inhales ] 239 00:09:32,290 --> 00:09:33,720 One thing they don't tell you about these 240 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,890 vacuum pouches is you can save a ton of money 241 00:09:35,930 --> 00:09:37,160 by not buying the pump. 242 00:09:37,190 --> 00:09:40,600 [ Inhales ] 243 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,900 Well, I'm glad to see you're back to your old self. 244 00:09:44,930 --> 00:09:48,200 How can Mr. Taffarelli not be an all-timer? 245 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,410 He was so shy. 246 00:09:51,940 --> 00:09:53,580 Good to have you back, Legman. 247 00:09:53,610 --> 00:09:56,350 So I ran that hair we found at the scene of the crime. 248 00:09:56,380 --> 00:09:58,750 You know how we thought no man could kick that hard? 249 00:09:58,780 --> 00:09:59,920 We were right. 250 00:09:59,950 --> 00:10:02,190 It was a kangaroo. 251 00:10:02,220 --> 00:10:04,390 You're a hell of a private... 252 00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:07,260 [ Sobbing ] Dick. 253 00:10:07,890 --> 00:10:10,960 Jeannie, I'm glad you're here 'cause last night, 254 00:10:10,990 --> 00:10:12,960 it hit me -- the perfect thing 255 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,160 for Nerfer's bachelorette party -- 256 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,700 strippers! 257 00:10:16,730 --> 00:10:19,740 Ooh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 258 00:10:19,770 --> 00:10:21,270 Are we talking full frontal? 259 00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:22,440 Because I want to see some... 260 00:10:22,470 --> 00:10:25,680 [ Sobbing ] Dick. 261 00:10:26,740 --> 00:10:28,710 We have fun. Don't we, Clippy? 262 00:10:31,850 --> 00:10:33,580 [ Grunting ] 263 00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:35,150 Chargers are stupid. 264 00:10:35,180 --> 00:10:37,150 Raider Dave, get in here! 265 00:10:37,190 --> 00:10:39,260 I'm not in the right head space. 266 00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:41,220 Just punch him in the balls for me. 267 00:10:41,260 --> 00:10:43,260 It's the area right under his... 268 00:10:43,290 --> 00:10:46,630 [ Sobs ] 269 00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:50,470 What are we doing at BDB's? 270 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:52,340 We only come here when there's a problem, 271 00:10:52,370 --> 00:10:53,670 and everything's fine. 272 00:10:53,700 --> 00:10:55,270 Roger, we need to talk. 273 00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:58,110 We think Becky's breakup with Dick is affecting you. 274 00:10:58,140 --> 00:10:59,510 Why would you think that? 275 00:10:59,540 --> 00:11:02,650 Because all of your characters are sad. 276 00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:05,480 During our meeting, Jeannie Gold recommended a stripper 277 00:11:05,510 --> 00:11:09,150 who only dances to Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car." 278 00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:10,950 Jeff said Clip Clop cried. 279 00:11:10,990 --> 00:11:12,890 Now he thinks horses have human feelings 280 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,760 and should be allowed to vote. 281 00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:18,130 [ Sniffles ] Becky was my most vulnerable persona. 282 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:21,030 Her pain must be affecting my other characters. 283 00:11:21,060 --> 00:11:23,530 Oh, we would like to offer you our authentic 284 00:11:23,570 --> 00:11:25,700 Taste of Tuscany appetizer. 285 00:11:25,740 --> 00:11:28,600 Taste of Tuscany? Wait a second. 286 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,410 Last year, my book club tried to force me to read 287 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,010 "Under the Tuscan Sun." 288 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,510 Luckily, I found out it was a movie just in time. 289 00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:39,320 But it taught me a valuable lesson. 290 00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:42,050 If you're down, go to Tuscany, 291 00:11:42,090 --> 00:11:44,220 and you'll be magically fixed. 292 00:11:44,250 --> 00:11:46,860 Do you think Tuscany's magic can fix Becky? 293 00:11:46,890 --> 00:11:49,130 I do. Oh, yeah! 294 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:51,060 -Oh, yeah! -Oh, yeah! 295 00:11:51,090 --> 00:11:52,530 -Oh, yeah! -Oh, yeah! 296 00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:53,730 -Oh, yeah! -Oh, yeah! 297 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:57,170 [ Italian music playing ] 298 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,970 That house. 299 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,770 Stop the bus. 300 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,110 Stop the bus! 301 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:09,410 Sad lady, I will teach you Italiana. 302 00:12:09,450 --> 00:12:12,250 Only then will you be able to stop the bus. 303 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:15,990 ** 304 00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:35,870 [ Bird squawking ] 305 00:12:35,910 --> 00:12:37,040 [ Gasps ] 306 00:12:45,350 --> 00:12:46,620 [ Tires squeal ] 307 00:12:49,990 --> 00:12:52,220 Good thing you learned Italian. 308 00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:59,000 ** 309 00:12:59,030 --> 00:13:01,560 Francine, wake up. Wake up! 310 00:13:03,270 --> 00:13:05,800 Last night, the most wondrous thing happened. 311 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,570 I couldn't sleep, so I went into town, 312 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,440 and you remember that hunky single guy 313 00:13:09,470 --> 00:13:12,080 who owns the Italian soda shop, Marioigi? 314 00:13:12,110 --> 00:13:13,780 No. 315 00:13:13,810 --> 00:13:15,580 We've only been here for 12 hours. 316 00:13:15,610 --> 00:13:16,950 We fell in love! 317 00:13:16,980 --> 00:13:18,350 And we screwed! 318 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,480 Bella, I love you! 319 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:21,720 I must go now. 320 00:13:21,750 --> 00:13:24,020 [ Moaning ] 321 00:13:24,050 --> 00:13:27,220 But then I realized I'm a strong, independent woman. 322 00:13:27,260 --> 00:13:29,490 I don't need to be defined by a single man. 323 00:13:29,530 --> 00:13:31,260 -Ciao, bella. -Mi amore. 324 00:13:31,290 --> 00:13:32,930 -Principessa! -Mangia, mangia. 325 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,430 -Mi amore! -Tutta bella! 326 00:13:34,460 --> 00:13:35,760 -Principessa! -Cara mia! 327 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,170 -Ciao, bella! -Mangia, mangia, 328 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,800 che ti fa bene! Mwah. 329 00:13:38,830 --> 00:13:40,740 Did you sleep with all these... 330 00:13:40,770 --> 00:13:41,740 [ Horn beeps ] 331 00:13:41,770 --> 00:13:43,010 -Aye! -Oh! 332 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:44,340 [ Horn beeping ] 333 00:13:44,370 --> 00:13:46,580 [ All shouting in Italian ] 334 00:13:46,610 --> 00:13:48,380 You were right to bring me here. 335 00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:50,510 In Tuscany, I found the one thing 336 00:13:50,550 --> 00:13:52,850 I was looking for -- me. 337 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:55,620 I'm all better now. Let's cream out of here. 338 00:13:55,650 --> 00:13:58,120 [ Lasers firing ] 339 00:13:58,150 --> 00:14:00,960 Van Smash, how's it hanging?! 340 00:14:00,990 --> 00:14:03,060 To the left down my pants and up the other leg. 341 00:14:03,090 --> 00:14:05,260 Ha! If you speak true, 342 00:14:05,290 --> 00:14:08,860 then you must have the lengthiest of johnsons. 343 00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:11,100 Good to have you back, Van Smash. 344 00:14:12,770 --> 00:14:14,170 I'm glad you're here 345 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,640 because we've got another special guest, 346 00:14:16,670 --> 00:14:19,880 my new girl, Linda Vulnerabella. 347 00:14:19,910 --> 00:14:23,050 Black bra, see-through shirt, pure class. 348 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:24,880 Chic, chic, chic. 349 00:14:24,910 --> 00:14:27,850 Like I always say, nobody who lives on a boat 350 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:29,650 can stay dry for long, 351 00:14:29,690 --> 00:14:32,660 and I mean that in two ways. [ Grunts ] 352 00:14:32,690 --> 00:14:34,060 How'd you two meet? 353 00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:37,390 We met [laughs] at the marina bait shop, 354 00:14:37,430 --> 00:14:38,730 and he took me to this bar called... 355 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:41,360 Barnacles?! That was our bar! 356 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:44,070 I've never been to Barnacles with you, Van Smash. 357 00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,670 Yeah, Van Smash, 358 00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:48,540 what are you talking about, Van Smash? 359 00:14:48,570 --> 00:14:50,010 Oh, yeah. I'm Van Smash. 360 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,710 Um, Linda, what's your deal? 361 00:14:52,740 --> 00:14:54,380 You like porn? You like Deadpool? 362 00:14:54,410 --> 00:14:56,580 You like something else? Like all women, 363 00:14:56,610 --> 00:15:00,050 I enjoy the wit and wisdom of Chester Cheetah. 364 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:02,420 Isn't she great? Mwah. 365 00:15:02,450 --> 00:15:05,020 Did our time together mean nothing? [ Grunts ] 366 00:15:05,050 --> 00:15:07,090 Dick is always getting it in. Ah! 367 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,190 I didn't realize you were such a womanizer! 368 00:15:09,230 --> 00:15:11,260 Ah! Womanizer? I hardly know her. 369 00:15:11,290 --> 00:15:13,400 Ah! You're a snake, Dick. 370 00:15:13,430 --> 00:15:16,070 Ah! I'll show you a snake, my snake. 371 00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:18,930 Van Smash is hilarious. 372 00:15:18,970 --> 00:15:21,670 I had no idea he had a personality disorder. 373 00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:23,770 So funny! 374 00:15:23,810 --> 00:15:26,240 Sorry I had to whack you, little guy, 375 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,080 but hopefully you got some closure. 376 00:15:28,110 --> 00:15:29,750 Tomorrow, I'll take you to the laundromat 377 00:15:29,780 --> 00:15:31,610 and let you ride around in the dryer. 378 00:15:31,650 --> 00:15:33,250 That always cheers you up. 379 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,850 Will you put a red sock in there with me? 380 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,520 Maybe I'll come out a little pink. 381 00:15:37,550 --> 00:15:38,950 No problem, buddy, 382 00:15:38,990 --> 00:15:40,460 but you're not going to turn pink. 383 00:15:40,490 --> 00:15:43,930 But maybe there's a tiny chance. 384 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:45,590 Maybe. Get some sleep. 385 00:15:45,630 --> 00:15:47,060 [ Smooches ] 386 00:15:50,170 --> 00:15:51,300 [ Door closes ] 387 00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:52,670 Psych! 388 00:15:52,700 --> 00:15:54,340 I ain't going to sleep... 389 00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:57,940 until Dick pays for what he did. 390 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:03,180 Sheesh, hope this hit man's better at shooting people 391 00:16:03,210 --> 00:16:04,650 than he is at being on time. 392 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:05,780 Oh, there you are. 393 00:16:05,810 --> 00:16:07,620 Here it is. 394 00:16:07,650 --> 00:16:09,150 I want him dead. 395 00:16:09,190 --> 00:16:11,690 Consider it done. 396 00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:19,460 Back of the line, buddy. 397 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:20,660 I just need to check on him. 398 00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:22,000 He kind of freaked out when he saw 399 00:16:22,030 --> 00:16:23,470 Dick with a new girl last night. 400 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:24,930 I don't think he's awake. 401 00:16:24,970 --> 00:16:26,670 I've been waiting an hour to update the Legman 402 00:16:26,700 --> 00:16:28,440 on the case of the unsolved mystery. 403 00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:29,810 Together: We're meeting Jeannie Gold 404 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:31,140 to sample pirate cakes. 405 00:16:31,170 --> 00:16:32,540 Something's wrong. 406 00:16:32,580 --> 00:16:35,410 I'm going in. Follow me if you dare. 407 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,810 You came. You're braver than I thought. 408 00:16:37,850 --> 00:16:39,620 Smith, thank God you're home. 409 00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:42,150 Last night, the world's most dangerous assassin 410 00:16:42,190 --> 00:16:45,320 landed in Langley. 411 00:16:45,350 --> 00:16:49,160 He tried to go unnoticed, but he can't get by our boys. 412 00:16:49,190 --> 00:16:52,130 Our best guess is that he's been contracted to kill 413 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:53,660 Mayor Garfield at his first annual 414 00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:56,200 Mayor's Appreciation Parade. 415 00:16:56,230 --> 00:16:58,300 Want to know how we guessed it? 416 00:16:58,330 --> 00:16:59,800 More photos! 417 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:02,240 [ Helicopter blades whirring ] 418 00:17:02,270 --> 00:17:03,540 I'll head there right away, sir. 419 00:17:03,570 --> 00:17:05,170 No need. 420 00:17:05,210 --> 00:17:08,310 The mayor is safe because Dick is his head of security. 421 00:17:08,340 --> 00:17:11,310 I was just passing by on the way to steal lemons 422 00:17:11,350 --> 00:17:13,920 from the tops of all the farmer's trees. 423 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:18,350 Okay, Miranda! It's lemon-snatching time! 424 00:17:18,390 --> 00:17:20,990 I don't think Roger is planning on killing the mayor. 425 00:17:21,020 --> 00:17:22,360 He's planning on killing Dick. 426 00:17:22,390 --> 00:17:23,460 Yeah, that was pretty obvious. 427 00:17:23,490 --> 00:17:24,830 That's what I would do. 428 00:17:24,860 --> 00:17:27,200 Well, maybe you will be surprised to learn 429 00:17:27,230 --> 00:17:28,930 that it's up to us to stop him. 430 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,570 Again, totally expected. 431 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,140 Klaus already went downstairs to warm up the car. 432 00:17:32,170 --> 00:17:33,270 [ Cheering ] 433 00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:36,840 Everyone I ever loved is dead! 434 00:17:36,870 --> 00:17:43,550 ** 435 00:17:43,580 --> 00:17:45,850 [ Tires squeal ] 436 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:47,550 How the hell are we going to find Roger? 437 00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:48,720 I have an idea. 438 00:17:50,850 --> 00:17:53,060 [ French accent ] What the hell did I do? 439 00:17:53,090 --> 00:17:54,760 [ Cellphone rings ] 440 00:17:54,790 --> 00:17:55,990 [ Line ringing ] 441 00:17:56,020 --> 00:17:58,630 Hello, Mr. CIA. That's right. 442 00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,060 I know who you are, but you'll never find me. 443 00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:02,700 Yes, I will. 444 00:18:02,730 --> 00:18:04,530 You shared your phone's location services with me 445 00:18:04,570 --> 00:18:07,440 that time you went roller blading on mushrooms. 446 00:18:07,470 --> 00:18:08,600 Damn it! 447 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:09,610 Fly. 448 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,240 Lead them to Atlanta. 449 00:18:11,270 --> 00:18:13,080 They'll totally believe I'm in Atlanta. 450 00:18:13,110 --> 00:18:14,780 I've been dying to go. 451 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:18,050 [ Door opens ] 452 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:19,380 I'm in Atlanta. 453 00:18:19,420 --> 00:18:20,550 Roger, stop. 454 00:18:20,580 --> 00:18:22,390 Sorry, Mr. CIA. 455 00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:26,590 I was hired to finish job, and I always finish job. 456 00:18:26,620 --> 00:18:27,890 You don't have to do this. 457 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,130 We tricked Dick into dumping you. 458 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:31,460 What? How? 459 00:18:31,490 --> 00:18:33,130 Klaus Photoshopped a photo 460 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:34,500 of you cheating on him. 461 00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:35,730 We were annoyed at you for ditching us 462 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,470 just so Becky could be with Dick. 463 00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:41,240 So we did something stupid, but Dick didn't do anything. 464 00:18:41,270 --> 00:18:43,110 Kill me instead! 465 00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:44,470 No, no. Stop that. 466 00:18:44,510 --> 00:18:46,880 Knowing all this, it would seem silly to... 467 00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:48,140 Do it, Rogertilda! 468 00:18:50,250 --> 00:18:52,380 You dumbasses forgot one thing. 469 00:18:52,420 --> 00:18:55,050 Always check for a cage in the air. 470 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,490 Welcome to Atlanta. 471 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,160 Dick! 472 00:19:01,190 --> 00:19:02,930 You look trim. 473 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:06,260 My secret, no bulletproof vest. 474 00:19:07,530 --> 00:19:09,330 Wait! I changed my mind. 475 00:19:09,370 --> 00:19:10,600 I don't want you to kill him. 476 00:19:10,630 --> 00:19:12,070 You can't change your mind. 477 00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:14,500 I have a strict "no-mind-changing" policy. 478 00:19:14,540 --> 00:19:15,500 But I love him! 479 00:19:15,540 --> 00:19:17,470 And I love my job. 480 00:19:17,510 --> 00:19:18,910 Stop! 481 00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:21,310 You shouldn't have done that. 482 00:19:21,340 --> 00:19:22,810 You don't have to kill Dick. 483 00:19:22,850 --> 00:19:24,110 Yes, I do. 484 00:19:24,150 --> 00:19:26,080 Every persona has a story to tell. 485 00:19:26,110 --> 00:19:28,620 But I don't want my story to end like this. 486 00:19:28,650 --> 00:19:30,320 Raider Dave! 487 00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:33,360 My story ends when I finish my job. 488 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:40,300 [ Grunting ] 489 00:19:40,330 --> 00:19:42,000 Please! 490 00:19:45,830 --> 00:19:48,340 This ends now. 491 00:19:51,410 --> 00:19:54,480 No-o-o-o-o-o-o! 492 00:19:54,510 --> 00:19:55,640 [ Crowd gasping ] 493 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:56,710 Becky! 494 00:19:58,250 --> 00:20:00,050 Becky, don't die. 495 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,520 I love you. 496 00:20:01,550 --> 00:20:02,720 I'm so sorry. 497 00:20:02,750 --> 00:20:04,820 It's okay, Dick. 498 00:20:04,850 --> 00:20:07,020 This is how our story ends. 499 00:20:07,060 --> 00:20:08,990 We'll always have Barnacles. 500 00:20:09,020 --> 00:20:09,990 No! 501 00:20:10,030 --> 00:20:11,390 No! 502 00:20:11,430 --> 00:20:14,060 Stay with me, Becky! 503 00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:17,100 Just promise me one thing, Dick. 504 00:20:17,130 --> 00:20:19,470 Promise me you'll mourn me forever 505 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:22,000 and never love anyone else. 506 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,010 Uh, okay. 507 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:26,580 And get a face tattoo of my face. 508 00:20:26,610 --> 00:20:28,680 That way, everyone will know you're taken. 509 00:20:28,710 --> 00:20:30,010 Shh. 510 00:20:30,050 --> 00:20:33,350 That's not a yes. 511 00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:34,850 I'm not dying until I hear a... 512 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,720 [ Groans ] 513 00:20:36,750 --> 00:20:41,260 [ Sobs ] 514 00:20:41,290 --> 00:20:44,690 Is anyone else thinking this was Roger's plan all along? 515 00:20:44,730 --> 00:20:46,190 Like, Dick was never in danger? 516 00:20:46,230 --> 00:20:47,930 Yeah. Roger is weird. 517 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,830 What's shaking, blowholes? 518 00:20:49,870 --> 00:20:52,170 You guys want to go to my friend Brandon's funeral? 519 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,070 Dude bit it in an ATV accident. 520 00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:55,540 They're getting a taco truck. 521 00:20:55,570 --> 00:20:57,040 There's going to be tons of chicks there. 522 00:20:57,070 --> 00:20:59,840 I'm down if Bayou Billy With The Heavy Balls is. 523 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:02,180 Oh, yeah! 524 00:21:02,210 --> 00:21:04,410 Bye. Have a beautiful time!