1
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(《待拯救的靈魂》)
(作者:麥克斯舒格曼)

2
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{\an8}(火星平原)

3
00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:22,064
{\an8}在安葬這位弟兄的同時

4
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:24,483
我們將永遠懷念他生前的為人

5
00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:27,486
這位驕傲的火星人,在北部低地長大

6
00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:30,072
{\an8}他的名字是達羅,應該吧?

7
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:31,865
{\an8}他好像跟我說過是「卡羅」

8
00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:33,450
{\an8}還是達羅?

9
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:37,454
{\an8}總之,我跟他不熟
但因為他是我們唯一的信眾

10
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:40,582
{\an8}我想多跟他聊聊,但他太沒勁了

11
00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:43,669
{\an8}有一次我用聖餐酒做了微醺冰棒

12
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:47,256
{\an8}很有趣吧?但他只拿了一根
而且還吃得很慢

13
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,590
{\an8}我吃了七、八根

14
00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:50,676
{\an8}總之,阿們

15
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{\an8}抱歉墳墓很淺,兄弟

16
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{\an8}火星重力很不適合埋葬

17
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{\an8}(聖餐餅)

18
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{\an8}補充聖餐餅

19
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把聖水加滿

20
00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:09,903
好高的彎液面

21
00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:13,407
很高,我相信你見過更高的,主啊

22
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根本沒人經過,但灰塵不斷堆積

23
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{\an8}我是煙火迷,所以這對我來說很有趣

24
00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:28,005
{\an8}主啊,你說呢?好戲上場?

25
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,934
{\an8}上帝摧毀了地球

26
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,103
{\an8}好帶我們去火星

27
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:48,400
{\an8}他拯救了十六分之一的人類
並教導我們如何駕駛飛天車

28
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{\an8}主啊,感謝你讓我
在這貧瘠的星球上多活一天

29
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{\an8}也感謝你將打掃這類雜事全交給我

30
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{\an8}還有火星塵,像你一樣,偉大的主

31
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{\an8}隨時隨地,無所不在

32
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{\an8}存在於我身體的每個孔洞裡,謝謝你

33
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:09,463
{\an8}但是主啊,我真正想要的是一群信眾

34
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{\an8}感覺時候到了

35
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{\an8}或慢慢來,請賜我一個靈魂
讓我去拯救,或者十個

36
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,637
{\an8}聽著,我不會指使你該怎麼做,好嗎?

37
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,138
就這樣,阿們

38
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,402
主啊,你意下如何?

39
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:37,449
我的天啊...我的天啊!待拯救的靈魂!

40
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:40,118
我準備好了!蓄勢待發

41
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我還有時間尿尿嗎?

42
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:44,873
哈囉?有人在嗎?

43
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:48,960
抱歉,我以為只是要尿尿

44
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:50,879
但上帝很慷慨

45
00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,631
對了,我是羅傑神父

46
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:53,715
來握手吧

47
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,259
真不錯

48
00:02:57,010 --> 00:03:00,180
羅傑神父,我流浪很久了

49
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:02,140
我好累

50
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:04,685
好吧,那袋子看起來很重,先放下來吧?

51
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:05,894
不,跟這個無關

52
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,187
你休息過了嗎?

53
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:09,856
晚上睡覺,白天才會有體力?

54
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:12,025
我是精神疲勞

55
00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:14,611
好吧,那找我準沒錯

56
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,613
我從未感到平靜

57
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:19,116
我想是因為我從未接受過主

58
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,201
但我準備好走上他的道路

59
00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:22,703
好耶!

60
00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,371
好,首先,好耶!

61
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:27,082
第二,你流浪的日子結束了

62
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:30,544
現在你要坐在我和上帝的副駕

63
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聽起來不錯,神父,但是我想問

64
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,299
其他的信眾在哪裡?

65
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,844
他們就快來了,只是比我想的要久一點

66
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:42,097
他們改造火星之後
這個小鎮即將蓬勃發展

67
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:44,015
不過後來沒有成真

68
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:45,976
也許是因為這些火星塵,但我很喜歡

69
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,395
你會習慣的

70
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:52,816
討厭的火星塵毀了我的人生

71
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,067
總之,歡迎你

72
00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:55,527
其實我不介意火星塵

73
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:58,738
那你一定會喜歡火星塵季

74
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:02,159
我學會愛上它了
況且我沒有太空貨幣搬去別的地方

75
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,577
你也知道是怎麼回事

76
00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,787
真不錯的靴子,特科瓦牌?

77
00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:06,913
太空特科瓦牌

78
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,498
你覺得呢?

79
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,793
我、你和主,攜手建立信眾大家庭?

80
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:13,628
就這麼辦

81
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:18,884
精彩的還在後頭呢

82
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:27,350
主啊,我知道
我經常利用這段時間大哭紓壓

83
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,227
但我今天要感謝你

84
00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:32,689
我求你賜我一個待拯救靈魂
而你送了這個人過來

85
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:34,858
你確定嗎?

86
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,610
怎麼又是你

87
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:40,280
先聽我說
也許上帝不是送靈魂來給你拯救

88
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,491
也許他賜給你一個機會

89
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,493
我沒在聽,繼續說

90
00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,661
那個人很有錢,那雙靴子

91
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,663
加上他不肯放下的袋子

92
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:51,625
我確實有注意到袋子
你覺得裡面有什麼?

93
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,418
錢,我們離開這裡的機會

94
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,295
我不能搶劫他,我是神父

95
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,172
沒有信徒的神父,你仔細想想

96
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:58,673
我們可以離開火星

97
00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:02,260
去大城市,那裡有很多靈魂可以拯救
一群信徒

98
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,554
我準備好拯救一群信徒了

99
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,641
你的意思是我們偷溜進去,拿走袋子

100
00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:09,476
在他醒來之前閃人?

101
00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:12,938
我什麼都沒聽到

102
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:14,898
抓住他

103
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,075
抱歉...抱歉

104
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,496
這個十字架太多邊邊角角
應該要有警告標示

105
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:32,207
我感覺很糟

106
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:34,376
但這個袋子不會自己打開

107
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:35,961
出來吧,珠寶

108
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:40,549
什麼?鞋油和書?

109
00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:45,053
《如何在沒錢的情況下
保養鞋子和維持尊嚴》

110
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,097
我讀過這本書了

111
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:53,395
在安葬這位弟兄的同時
我們將永遠懷念他生前的為人

112
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:56,273
一個假裝有錢的窮光蛋騙子

113
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,191
然後他出了意外

114
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,110
阿們

115
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,196
我能說什麼,主啊?對不起,我犯了錯

116
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,699
但每個人多多少少都會犯錯吧?

117
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:11,204
現在仔細想想,我可能犯了一大堆錯誤

118
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,331
但那是以前的我

119
00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,834
洗心革面的我終於準備好做對的事了

120
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,127
但我需要你的幫助,主

121
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:22,132
我最後再求你一次
請你賜我一個靈魂,讓我來拯救

122
00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:27,888
原來神父把他們都殺了,蠻酷的

123
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,225
下一則是什麼故事?

124
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,979
(《逃離此地》)
(作者:薇薇安史蘭德)

125
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:46,156
{\an8}(地球碎片151822)

126
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:49,367
{\an8}(史力皮採礦公司)

127
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,007
快點,廢物!

128
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,425
集貨列車來了!

129
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:08,553
快把地球原料放進碎石桶

130
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,933
- 岩石!
- 石頭!

131
00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:15,602
- 勳章!
- 寶石!

132
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:16,895
不管我們找到什麼

133
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,688
通通上繳!

134
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,440
各位,看我找到什麼

135
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:21,524
(快來衝浪!)

136
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:26,196
天啊,也許等我還清欠公司的債
可以到那裡過退休生活

137
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,074
你永遠還不完的

138
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,659
沒人還得完

139
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,412
我剛還清了

140
00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:39,167
我從小就在這裡工作
但我的人生即將開始

141
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,881
死亡是違反規定的

142
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:48,385
這是什麼?沒用的垃圾

143
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:53,098
威廉,你明知道找到原料後

144
00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:55,975
要立刻上繳給公司,威廉

145
00:07:56,059 --> 00:08:00,063
- 是的,但是...
- 別擔心,你會得到公平的審判

146
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:03,817
審判結束,你被判處死刑

147
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,403
我尊重法庭的決定

148
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:13,493
公司感謝你多年來的奉獻

149
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:16,955
我個人想表達,廢話少說!

150
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,456
別回來了!

151
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,751
我的寶石!

152
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,753
他還偷了寶石?

153
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,839
這懲罰太輕了

154
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:30,510
傑夫寶貝,你覺得呢?
為大夥們唱首歌如何?

155
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,595
我不想唱歌,奧爾

156
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,098
我們的生命對這些人來說毫無意義

157
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:40,019
等等,好像有東西

158
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:42,647
(警長)

159
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,567
這是什麼?

160
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,778
別管了,交出去就對了

161
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,280
你也看到比利的下場了

162
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,157
也許是萬花筒?

163
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,075
萬花筒?

164
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:56,494
很明顯是音訊裝置

165
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:57,746
喂?

166
00:08:57,829 --> 00:09:01,541
真是的,這是嘔吐反射訓練器

167
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,043
看到沒?

168
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,878
這東西是做什麼的?

169
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,714
那是什麼?

170
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,966
也許是你的鞭子?

171
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,384
別提我的鞭子!

172
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:14,387
也別盯著我的鞭子看

173
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,682
我只是在欣賞它

174
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,851
覬覦我的鞭子是罪,再鞭兩下

175
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,984
我想這是舊式武器

176
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,486
可以用來逃跑

177
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,946
你瘋了嗎?如果被抓,他們會殺了我們

178
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:34,115
無論如何我們都死定了,奧爾

179
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:36,659
我們可以用這玩意避開那條魚

180
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,620
然後偷溜到集貨列車上

181
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,789
我們甚至不知道列車的目的地

182
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,791
只要能逃離這裡都好

183
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:43,917
你想想看

184
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,836
嘿呀!

185
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,838
那是空手道口味的鞭步

186
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,423
是我發明的

187
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,778
早安,傑夫瑞

188
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:16,825
又一起在地球碎片151822
度過美好的一天

189
00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:19,494
我昨晚夢到海灘,奧爾

190
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,121
我得離開這裡

191
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:24,624
好,那我也要一起

192
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:26,543
等等,真的嗎?

193
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:30,171
真的,你是我最好的朋友
我們去找海灘吧

194
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:33,133
一起做我們老是掛在嘴邊的蝦子生意

195
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,135
塔特爾傑夫蝦子公司

196
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:37,345
天啊,太棒了

197
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,681
但我有嗎?我們有聊過嗎?

198
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:42,433
抱歉,我不記得蝦子的事了

199
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:43,810
也許我只是心裡想想而已

200
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,228
總之,有什麼計畫?

201
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:54,112
快點,你們這些廢物!

202
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:55,697
集貨列車來了!

203
00:10:58,074 --> 00:10:59,492
你們這些廢物在做什麼?

204
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:01,244
我們要逃跑!

205
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,955
對,這是武器

206
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,039
像迷你鞭子?

207
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:09,919
不,像老式的太空爆破槍,用來射殺你

208
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,504
我很懷疑

209
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,508
真是的

210
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:17,093
對不起,迪克

211
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,386
好吧,我相信你們

212
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:24,142
哪種變態會用這隻魚心愛的鞭子
把他綁起來?

213
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,187
快點!列車在那

214
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:38,573
用我的鞭子對付我真是大錯特錯

215
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,491
這大幅激勵了我

216
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,746
放開我朋友

217
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,665
你不會開槍的

218
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,880
想得美,廢物

219
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,673
等等!為什麼在排水?

220
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:07,560
我唯一的遺憾就是沒有更常鞭打你

221
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:11,105
你做到了,傑夫!我們自由了!

222
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:12,899
抱歉,奧爾

223
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,653
我開槍時,後座力把我送上太空了

224
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,446
從另一側開槍!

225
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,114
開槍回來我身邊!

226
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,617
沒子彈了!

227
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:23,701
抓住!

228
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,913
等等!我去找你!

229
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:30,250
不!你離開那輛列車就死定了

230
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:33,419
我們本來要一起找到那片海灘

231
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:37,215
我知道,但別為我難過

232
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,133
我逃出礦坑了

233
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:41,678
那塔特爾傑夫蝦子公司呢?

234
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,721
答應我你不會這麼做

235
00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:46,432
你不喜歡這個主意嗎?

236
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:49,769
那一行有很多挑戰

237
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:54,899
採集蝦子,培養品牌合夥關係

238
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:57,986
我們能確定還有海洋存在嗎?

239
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,781
他害怕成功

240
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:05,994
如果可以,我很樂意跟你合作

241
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:07,829
朋友

242
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:20,049
看來地球出事了

243
00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:27,890
(《雜貨店老闆》)
- (作者:
- ZB伯林)

244
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:38,901
{\an8}(杜卡利翁號,殖民地級巡洋艦)
(尋找新地球500年航程的第397年)

245
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:39,986
(杜卡利翁號)

246
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,871
{\an8}(底層甲板4-廚房樓層)

247
00:13:57,545 --> 00:14:00,006
供應早餐是最光榮的工作

248
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,633
妳的實驗室培養雞蛋很成功,女兒

249
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:04,510
那我的馬鈴薯可樂餅呢?

250
00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:08,222
很好,但我認為裡面還能更綿密,兒子

251
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,225
父親,我一直在想

252
00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:13,561
也許我該生孩子了

253
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:19,525
女兒,妳準備好從基因重組器中
取出一個寶寶了嗎?

254
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:21,986
沒錯,感覺才是昨天的事

255
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:26,032
當史密斯太太和我
把妳從基因重組器中取出

256
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:27,116
我會考慮

257
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,035
- 我覺得...
- 我說我會考慮

258
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,287
供應午餐的時間到了,史密斯太太?

259
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:35,541
夏日玉米沙拉,接著是油炸醃漬玉米鮭魚

260
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:39,378
佐藍玉米薄餅和玉米甜點二重奏

261
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:41,672
我們現在有很多玉米

262
00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:45,259
我們必須消耗玉米數量

263
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:48,221
還有玉米剝粒與磨泥器的問題

264
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:49,889
- 什麼問題?
- 壞了

265
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:52,892
磨泥刀鋒嚴重變形,必須更換

266
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:54,560
你去檢查備品抽屜

267
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:57,438
或者可以換一個新的?

268
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,816
你可以上樓嗎?

269
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,442
上樓?

270
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,611
我們不會上樓,兒子

271
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,863
話是這麼說,但為何不可以?

272
00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:07,490
因為這不符規定

273
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,492
{\an8}我從沒上去過,我父親從沒上去過

274
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:10,910
{\an8}他父親也從沒上去過

275
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,412
我們不會拜訪樓上

276
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:14,747
樓上的人

277
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:17,583
他們有感謝過我們在下面的苦工嗎?

278
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,252
我不認識樓上的人

279
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,087
你也不會認識

280
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,256
我們本來就不該認識樓上的人

281
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,799
他們也不認識我們

282
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:31,722
竟敢叫我上樓,簡單修一修就好了

283
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:34,642
那孩子不愛規定,沒道理啊

284
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:37,019
因為規定說要愛規定

285
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:47,405
雖然我在修理方面有很大的進展

286
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:51,075
玉米剝粒與磨泥器沒辦法在午餐期間修好

287
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:53,786
只能先用削皮刀湊合

288
00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:58,666
用削皮刀磨泥

289
00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:00,918
請賜我力量,太空耶穌

290
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:06,632
好,巴西利多了一克,不過也沒關係

291
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:09,719
黏在一起的玉米粒?

292
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,470
我們到底有沒有標準?

293
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,848
如果我有適當的工具,父親!

294
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:16,934
等我不再氣到發抖之後再說

295
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:22,106
對,我知道,午餐供應是場災難

296
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:25,860
關於這點,史密斯先生
我參考了規定手冊

297
00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:27,945
規定手冊

298
00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:33,242
{\an8}對,根據第14條第3-22-P細則

299
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:38,289
{\an8}「在緊急情況下,樓下可以上樓」

300
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:42,793
{\an8}所以你要上樓申請新工具?

301
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:46,005
史密斯太太,我們可以私下談談嗎?

302
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,506
- 當然可以
- 我很害怕

303
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:50,176
我從來沒上去過,我不知道他們的作風

304
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:51,886
如果我出糗怎麼辦?

305
00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:54,263
史密斯先生,不可能的

306
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:55,681
你是史密斯先生

307
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:58,267
要是...要是他們凶我呢?

308
00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,769
不,我不能去

309
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:03,022
請妳離開,我還要用心準備供應晚餐

310
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:07,360
真是的

311
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,198
引導我,父親們

312
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:17,912
我要上樓了

313
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:18,996
太好了!

314
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,332
你必須穿得體面

315
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,793
希望這風格還流行

316
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:27,755
週年紀念蝴蝶結永遠流行,史密斯先生

317
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,055
規定手冊

318
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,143
感謝上帝讓我遇到史密斯太太

319
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:47,191
樓下的人請求准許進入

320
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:54,240
{\an8}根據第14條第3-22-P細則

321
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:00,746
有人嗎?

322
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,164
第14條

323
00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:14,010
(在海底自殺...在星空下自殺)

324
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:19,807
{\an8}(氰化物,請至少服用一顆)

325
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:33,112
我是杜卡利翁號的
尚路克布洛克梅馬里艦長

326
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:37,408
現在是前往殖民新地球
500年航程的第284年

327
00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:39,744
那是一個多世紀前的事了

328
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:42,496
但我們的任務成功機率是零

329
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,999
我猜「科學家」犯了錯

330
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:49,378
新地球其實是不宜人居的球體
上面充滿了過熱氣體

331
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:53,174
我們的燃料存量
根本不夠飛去最近的宜居星球

332
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:56,427
沒救了,所以我們做了一個艱難的決定

333
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:59,221
我們要自殺了,好耶

334
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:00,306
(啤酒)

335
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:02,850
好耶

336
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:04,935
我們真的要自殺了

337
00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:07,355
相信我,我們試過了

338
00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:10,441
永無止盡的亂交趴

339
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:13,986
但我們得知沒有目的地、沒有未來

340
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:18,449
沒有前景也沒有目標,我們很快就膩了

341
00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,534
食物尤其乏味

342
00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:21,869
乏味?

343
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:24,413
敬這場終結派對的派對

344
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:27,249
艦長,你錯過了氰化物康加舞隊伍

345
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,464
午餐供應結束

346
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:37,009
{\an8}(垃圾)

347
00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:45,184
他們怎麼說,父親?

348
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:49,146
他們都...

349
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:50,648
什麼?

350
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:53,818
他們很感激我們

351
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:55,444
感謝諸神

352
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:59,865
他們還說我們在這裡的工作
對任務至關重要

353
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:02,284
而且我們的餐點不乏味

354
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,078
不乏味

355
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:05,746
那很好

356
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:09,041
那玉米剝粒與磨泥器呢,史密斯先生?

357
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:11,627
他們沒給我工具

358
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:14,255
他們討厭玉米,他們想清除菜園裡的玉米

359
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:16,340
我該上樓道歉

360
00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:18,509
不!不必了,他們...

361
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:22,096
他們說我們對規定手冊的解讀太隨便了

362
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,180
天啊

363
00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:26,267
他們禁止我們再上樓

364
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:30,020
但他們確實送了禮物
感謝我們多年的服務

365
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:34,400
這個裝置能發出令人愉悅的聲音

366
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:36,861
他們建議我們邊做飯邊享受

367
00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,113
說到這個,兩小時後就要供應晚餐了

368
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,197
開始動手吧

369
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:44,201
這音樂真的能幫助我工作

370
00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:45,619
謝謝,樓上的人

371
00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:57,047
(杜卡利翁號)

372
00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:05,473
{\an8}很精彩的故事,很有趣

373
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,603
{\an8}氣墊船,很不錯

374
00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:11,687
{\an8}(能運作的氣墊船)

375
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:13,647
{\an8}賺錢很不錯

376
00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:14,732
{\an8}(磨鋸機)

377
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:18,068
{\an8}這玩意真的很不錯

378
00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:19,987
{\an8}我想用在肚臍上

379
00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:23,908
{\an8}(震動按摩器)

380
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:31,499
{\an8}你好,我想問震動按摩器的事

381
00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:38,214
字幕翻譯:陳宣云