1 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,422 Today's your day. 2 00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:06,631 Do you have it? 3 00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:07,925 Of course I have it. 4 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,553 Francine, I don't have it! 5 00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:12,929 - You left it? - I need it. 6 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,806 - I'm on it. - Ten minutes or I'm dead. 7 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:27,194 Smith, let's go. 8 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:29,779 Should we stop her? 9 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,115 No way. She's fabulous. 10 00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:39,706 What the hell are you doing? 11 00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:49,466 It's my day to bring the snack, and I didn't forget. 12 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:52,385 Beef sticks and peanut butter bars for everyone. 13 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:53,887 Stan! Stan! 14 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:56,640 Stan! 15 00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:59,434 Oh, no. Oh, God. 16 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:02,103 Can we go... Can this thing go back in time? 17 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:07,942 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 18 00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:11,446 ♪ I got a feeling That it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 19 00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:14,574 ♪ The sun in the sky Has a smile on his face ♪ 20 00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:17,995 ♪ And he's shining a salute To the American race ♪ 21 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:24,000 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 22 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,587 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 23 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:32,134 {\an8}♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 24 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,637 {\an8}Francine, it's wonderful to see you alive. 25 00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:39,766 {\an8}I understand you suffered a very traumatic head injury. 26 00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:44,020 {\an8}Yeah, the doctors said they'd never seen a skull fractured in so many pieces. 27 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,730 {\an8}And now look at her. Perfect skull. 28 00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:46,814 {\an8}Catacomb-worthy. 29 00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,900 {\an8}If they were a pile of skulls in a catacomb, 30 00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:50,818 {\an8}my baby's would be top of the pile. 31 00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:52,862 {\an8}The crowning skull. Mwah. 32 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,782 {\an8}It was a lucky break as far as cracked skulls go. 33 00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:57,158 {\an8}Big pieces, mostly. 34 00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:59,369 {\an8}They think they've found almost all of them. 35 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,745 {\an8}- I'm better now. - Better? 36 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,915 {\an8}Uh, more like the best! Woman in the world, that is. 37 00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:07,210 {\an8}Heart of gold. Strongest body. Coolest brain. Nice feet. 38 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,503 {\an8}Even better ideas. 39 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,049 {\an8}I'm glad that we're having a little check-in. 40 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:17,095 {\an8}Accidents like this can sometimes take a toll on a marriage. 41 00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:19,055 {\an8}There might be buried resentment, 42 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,057 {\an8}- secret guilt-- - I'm gonna stop you right there. 43 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,560 {\an8}First of all, we don't think of it as an accident. 44 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,396 {\an8}We think of it as an opportunity for growth. 45 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,274 {\an8}We're as rock solid as Francine's new skull. 46 00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:32,277 {\an8}Francine, are you also feeling as positively 47 00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:33,445 {\an8}about the marriage? 48 00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,531 {\an8}I do, yeah. 49 00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:41,035 And in the spirit of that, there is something I need to share. 50 00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:46,583 John Mayer is trying to communicate with me 51 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,376 - through the radio. - Say what? 52 00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:49,711 {\an8}The musician? 53 00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:54,173 {\an8}He created a satellite radio station in an attempt to reach me 54 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,883 because he doesn't have my phone number. 55 00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,385 Mmm, okay. 56 00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,762 I'm trying to understand. 57 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,431 What's so hard to understand? 58 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,474 John Mayer is obsessed with me. 59 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:06,269 But, Stan, it's a one-way obsession. 60 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:09,230 His way. Toward me. So don't worry. 61 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,523 Why would I be worried? 62 00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,066 I know what you're thinking. 63 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:15,862 But no, it's not just John Mayer songs all the time. 64 00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:18,114 It's John Mayer songs sometimes. 65 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:22,201 But mostly he puts together playlists and talks, a lot. 66 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:25,330 So it's just like a normal radio station, 67 00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:28,041 except John Mayer is talking directly to me, 68 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:31,044 and all the songs he plays are messages for me. 69 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,337 Now I get it. 70 00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:34,797 That's, uh, a lot on your plate. 71 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:35,923 It is, yeah. 72 00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:40,428 Francine, would you say that this communication from John Mayer 73 00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:44,932 started after the traumatic head injury caused by your accident? 74 00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:48,019 Wow. I know what you're getting at. 75 00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:50,229 And no, many years ago, 76 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:53,858 John Mayer and I met briefly in a Bed Bath and Beyond. 77 00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,526 Chime in here, Stan! 78 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:59,197 How dare you imply my wife's fantasy is a result of her accident. 79 00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:01,616 John Whatever could be trying to reach out to her 80 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:02,825 through his radio station. 81 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:05,912 Not fantasy, not could be, Stan. 82 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:08,581 - It's what's happening. - I know. It's so obvious. 83 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,167 I'm concerned and I'd love to keep talking. 84 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,752 No, I'm done talking. 85 00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:13,879 I'm walking. 86 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:19,092 Stan, are you hesitant to admit that something is wrong 87 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:21,844 because you feel responsible for it? 88 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,513 Duh! I mean, no. What? 89 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,139 This is my private cell. 90 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:28,601 It's extremely important that you call me if this escalates. 91 00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,770 If what escalates? Her recovery speed? 92 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,897 The amount I'm not responsible for anything? 93 00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:34,024 Get a life. 94 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:41,322 You know, I don't like that Dr. Fay. 95 00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,616 She doesn't get it, she doesn't get us. 96 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,827 Yeah. I just want to forget every single thing 97 00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:47,829 that happened before this moment, don't you? 98 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:50,039 Well, no. I'm too upset. 99 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,207 And so am I. 100 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:55,378 I can't believe she implied there is something wrong with my brain. 101 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:58,173 I've seen your brains, so I know how good they are. 102 00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:01,342 Do you want to hear it? 103 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,219 Which? What? Something good or bad? 104 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,722 John Mayer. The radio station. 105 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,598 Or will it make you too upset? 106 00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:09,476 Oh, I can handle it. 107 00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:13,771 You're unique, and I know what kind of music you like. 108 00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:15,690 It's called "good music." 109 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:19,861 So here's "I would Do Anything for Love" by Meat Loaf. 110 00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:21,404 - You see? - I do. 111 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:24,157 But connect the dots in case I'm, like, a total idiot. 112 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:27,118 He would "do anything for love." 113 00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:29,871 Like create a radio station to talk to me. 114 00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:33,624 Plus, I can eat so much meatloaf, and he must know that on some level. 115 00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:35,293 Wow. Yeah, he's a sicko. 116 00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:37,378 I wish this would stop. 117 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:38,504 Let's make it stop! 118 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:41,466 Let's turn it off and never think or talk about it again. 119 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:42,550 Take my finger. 120 00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,677 We'll push that button together. 121 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,012 Okay. 122 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:48,389 You've done nothing wrong, I've done nothing wrong, 123 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,099 and anyway, it's all in the past. 124 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:53,770 The John Mayer thing, the accident, the Stone Age, all in the past. 125 00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:59,275 Anyone want to go to the arboretum on Sunday? 126 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:03,112 It's not in the past! It's happening now. 127 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,114 It's still out there. 128 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,657 Bed time everyone, go to your rooms. 129 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:08,659 You can't just turn it off. 130 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:11,245 - Why not? - Because it's in the waves, 131 00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,247 and the waves are in the air, 132 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:16,834 and the air is all around me and my family. 133 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,504 She's absolutely right. But what about? 134 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:22,173 This is life with John Mayer 135 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:25,301 and that was Michael Bolton's, "How Can We Be Lovers." 136 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,428 Yeesh, you gonna let him talk to her like that? 137 00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:30,181 I'll be recording live from the Win Hotel 138 00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:31,390 in Las Vegas all week. 139 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:35,019 So, if you're around, please stop by and say hello. 140 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,604 I'd love to see you. 141 00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:39,649 He just invited me to meet up at a hotel. 142 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,067 He's shameless! 143 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:44,278 Stan, we're going to Las Vegas to confront him. 144 00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:46,614 This is a clear escalation. 145 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,866 On his end. Toward me. 146 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,785 We are going to find John Mayer, 147 00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:53,788 and I'm gonna tell him to just knock it off. 148 00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:55,164 Right behind you. 149 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,124 Mom is unwell. Her brain is broke. 150 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,584 You should not indulge this 151 00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,461 because you feel guilty about her accident. 152 00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:01,712 Her opportunity. 153 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,339 Plus, shut up, and I don't. 154 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,591 Dad, are you really gonna take her to Vegas, 155 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:09,095 or are you gonna admit that something might be seriously wrong with Mom? 156 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,389 Vegas! Woo-hoo! Yeah! 157 00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:17,853 Vegas, baby! 158 00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,939 We'll see some shows, have nice dinners-- 159 00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,732 Ooh, there's an M&M store. 160 00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:24,569 Okay, but first, we're gonna confront John Mayer. 161 00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:26,821 Oh, we're still doing that? Great. 162 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,282 You seem nervous, Stan. 163 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,492 - And I totally understand why. - You do? 164 00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:32,618 Of course! 165 00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:35,413 But you're forgetting that he invited me. 166 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,333 I had forgotten that, and now I'm feeling more at ease. 167 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:45,214 This is fun. And speaking of, why are we driving to Vegas from Virginia? 168 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,799 I'm thinking we could still fly, 169 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:48,009 if people wanted that. 170 00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,760 I don't like paper trails, Stan. 171 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:52,346 So smart. And... And this might be so dumb, 172 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,140 but are we ever gonna stop to rest? 173 00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:56,642 No need. I have so much energy. 174 00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:58,561 Plus, I popped in an old catheter 175 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,272 from when I was in the hospital for all those months. 176 00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,024 The hospital, yes. 177 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,900 Where you got all the way better. 178 00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,193 And look at this bounty. 179 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:09,530 Lotta snacks, nice. Hand sanitizer, awesome. 180 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:10,740 Zip ties... 181 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,575 Francine, what are the zip ties for? 182 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:13,743 For whoever needs them. 183 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,539 Well, the car is saying it needs gas. 184 00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:21,626 "Let's get some gas. Are zip ties an escalation?" 185 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:24,253 That's... That's just the car wondering. 186 00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:29,383 - Hello? - Yes, you called? 187 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,093 - Stan? - Dr. Fay! 188 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:32,887 To what do I owe this occasion? 189 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:36,683 Stan, you called me. How is Francine doing? 190 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:39,685 Good kicks, good chops. 191 00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,521 While I have you, we are 18 sleepless hours 192 00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:45,358 outside of Vegas, en route to confront John Mayer 193 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:47,401 in some fashion I don't totally understand. 194 00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:49,195 What do you think about that? If anything. 195 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:52,156 Stan, you need to turn around immediately. 196 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,618 You cannot let her get near John Mayer. 197 00:08:55,702 --> 00:09:00,247 He is an object of her psychosis, and something bad could happen. 198 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:02,792 She needs to be checked into a hospital. 199 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,336 She needs to be checked into a hotel! 200 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:08,214 With a world class spa and a sexy pool scene. 201 00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:09,548 Stan, no. 202 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:12,009 Now that I hear you, you're being very dramatic. 203 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,178 You're like that gringo who did my MRI, 204 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:15,763 seeing problems where there ain't. 205 00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:18,808 I'm about to board a flight. Please, Stan. 206 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,393 Please stop calling me. 207 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:27,066 {\an8}Ooh, shiny! 208 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,275 {\an8}Let's go find him. 209 00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:32,030 {\an8}Uh, we need a room first, and I need to freshen up. 210 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,657 {\an8}I can't wait on a long line, 211 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,701 I'm here on important business. 212 00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,662 I couldn't help but hear you are on important business, 213 00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:43,916 and I couldn't help but notice that you are fabulous. 214 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,002 This line is not for you. Come, come. 215 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,379 {\an8}What kind of room are we thinking? 216 00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,965 {\an8}- Whatever. Something fast. - Okay. 217 00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:52,967 She's coy, she's humble. 218 00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:56,053 She's negging me a little, I'm living for it. 219 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,430 Where is John Mayer? 220 00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:58,764 Oh, big fan. 221 00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:00,057 Yes, he is. 222 00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:05,187 He's recording his satellite radio show live from the hotel all week. 223 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:08,774 I know. Where. 224 00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,443 Bitch, I'll tell you. 225 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:14,572 So, there's actually a recording booth on the casino floor. 226 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,746 Why is John Mayer not in the booth? 227 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,247 He moved to a different location, 228 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,041 but he's still broadcasting live. 229 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:28,919 Please don't talk to me like I'm some weirdo nobody, okay? 230 00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:30,421 He invited me here. 231 00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:33,299 John Mayer created this radio station to talk to me! 232 00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:35,468 Stan, oh, my God, 233 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,178 I'm so embarrassed... 234 00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:39,680 For these women. 235 00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:43,810 They think John Mayer is talking to them through the radio. 236 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:45,770 I'm gonna go see what's up. 237 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,315 Just tell me where he's broadcasting from. 238 00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:53,027 I'm not gonna hurt him, I just want to hold him... Down! 239 00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:55,863 That's my wife. 240 00:10:55,947 --> 00:11:00,117 I'm having a hard time facing the reality that she's suffering from a deep psychosis 241 00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:01,452 I can't help her out of. 242 00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,079 - Same for you? - Uh, no. 243 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,748 Sounds like you should take your wife to a hospital. 244 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,125 But me? I'm exactly where I should be. 245 00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:11,212 About to R and R my wife into snapping out of it. 246 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:12,839 Snapping out of nothing at all. 247 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,384 I'm thinking, we gotta get away from these people. 248 00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,720 If they find out you're the one he's really talking to, 249 00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:20,930 something bad could happen. 250 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,057 - That's a really good point. - It is. 251 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:24,558 Let's head down to the pool, 252 00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:27,812 indulge in the calm, healing waters. Have a relax. 253 00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:30,564 I actually am starting to feel a little tired. 254 00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:31,982 I got you. 255 00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,443 Do the right thing, man. 256 00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:38,823 Francine, did you see me? 257 00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:40,825 Wait, I got water in my nose that time. 258 00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:45,162 Okay, Hunty! She's giving "Mother." 259 00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,707 She's sexy, she's iconic. 260 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:52,211 She's catatonic. Slay queen! 261 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:55,381 I'm okay. 262 00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,550 Ooh, reservations guy, reservations guy. 263 00:11:57,634 --> 00:12:00,094 Did you get the, um... Reservations I asked for? 264 00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:04,306 Oh, yes. You wanted the best of the best at the last moment 265 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:05,891 for the least amount of money. 266 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,893 Yes, that's me. Thank you for remembering. 267 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:13,607 I was able to secure dinner at 2:30 p.m. In a different hotel's steakhouse. 268 00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:16,236 And, tickets to Wayne Newton at four. 269 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,239 Bring us your best, most healing brain food. 270 00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:22,116 Not that anyone here needs that. 271 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,868 Except maybe me. 272 00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:25,078 Maybe I'm the one. 273 00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:27,956 Boop! 274 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:31,208 - Stan! Francine! - Oh, hey, Roger. 275 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:35,379 The name's Leoncio Bedoncio, official merch guy for Wayne. 276 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:37,757 Francine, glamorous as ever. 277 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,635 She's lost a bit of energy over the last few hours, hasn't said a word, 278 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:44,513 but maybe that's what happens right before someone snaps out of it. 279 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,600 Maybe. You guys want to buy a Wayne Newton t-shirt? 280 00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:50,769 Wayne Newton whitening strips? A hyperbaric chamber? 281 00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:54,106 We all know how good Wayne looks, how strong he is. 282 00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:56,567 I've never seen him. Don't know his face or his work. 283 00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:58,819 What? He's Mr. Las Vegas! 284 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,280 And this is the hyperbaric chamber he sleeps in. 285 00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,991 Not this one exactly, but one basically just like it. 286 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:08,329 And it could be yours for the low, low price of $53,000. 287 00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:11,165 I really hope this show isn't horrible. 288 00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:15,586 ♪ ...For always my heart says, danke schoen ♪ 289 00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,296 ♪ Danke schoen ♪ 290 00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:18,672 Yeah! 291 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:21,050 Beautiful. Bellissimo. 292 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,052 Stan, I figured it out. 293 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,221 You did? I'm so happy, Francine. 294 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,389 I knew you would. And so did I. 295 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,099 All thanks to Wayne Newton. 296 00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:30,893 Should we stay for the 7:00 p.m. show? 297 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:31,977 No, sorry. 298 00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:35,105 I haven't been listening to this or anything you said for hours. 299 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:38,275 I've been listening to John Mayer's live broadcast. 300 00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:40,027 I figured out where he is. 301 00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:43,072 It's time to go silence him, for good. 302 00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:46,116 Wait. I, uh... 303 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,453 I would kick myself if I didn't get inside this hyperbaric chamber. 304 00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:50,913 See if I fit. 305 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,585 Dr. Fay, call me as soon as you get this. 306 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,837 She needs help. More help than I can give her. 307 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,340 - She's crazy. - You think I'm crazy? 308 00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:03,133 This isn't soundproof? 309 00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:06,512 You never believed me. The whole time. 310 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:10,182 This hurts more than when you dropped me 300 feet 311 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,642 and broke my head. 312 00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:14,520 Please understand. I thought this was soundproof. 313 00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:18,691 Dr. Fay, me again. 314 00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:20,734 I'm stuck in here like Sleeping Beauty, 315 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:24,238 and I think my Prince Charming is going to murder John Mayer. 316 00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:25,990 Sleeping beauty is right. 317 00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:28,742 Soon, you will be "Sleeping beautiful!" 318 00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:30,160 And it's yours for only-- 319 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:32,121 I can't believe I'm giving you this price-- 320 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,956 $65,000. 321 00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:37,335 You don't seem excited. Did I say less before? 322 00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,216 Gotta stop Francine. 323 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:47,219 Wow! So strong after only one session. 324 00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,387 Shall I ring it up? 325 00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:49,722 Francine! 326 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,265 Oh, God, Francine! 327 00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:52,892 Francine! 328 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,519 Why are casinos designed like this? 329 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:56,645 Where is the exit? 330 00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,605 I actually... You know what? 331 00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:00,399 I... I don't even know. 332 00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:04,820 Francine! 333 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,406 No, it's me, Wayne Newton. 334 00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:08,824 I don't mean to interrupt. 335 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,617 I just... I lost my wife. 336 00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:13,037 I'm so sorry. How did she pass? 337 00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:14,788 She didn't. She gave me the slip. 338 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,208 It's not a joke, it's true. 339 00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:20,920 Get up here. Tell us what's going on. 340 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,297 I messed up, Wayne. Big time. 341 00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:24,965 And I was too afraid to face it. 342 00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:27,426 But then your song, it made me weep, 343 00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,928 because it put my deepest feelings into words. 344 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:33,390 Those words, of course, are "Donkey shame." 345 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,225 - Danke schoen. - Exactly. 346 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:36,393 Donkey shame. 347 00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:39,354 The shame a donkey feels just for existing. 348 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,315 That's me, I'm the donkey. 349 00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:44,902 And it's not only that I caused an accident that broke my wife's brain... 350 00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:47,905 Yes, Wayne, it was an accident, it wasn't an opportunity. 351 00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:50,074 - I see. - You should see my wife. 352 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:53,160 She's lit from within. A dime, inside and out. 353 00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,244 And I get it now. 354 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:56,538 She deserves to be with a beautiful donkey. 355 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,165 A donkey that isn't ashamed. 356 00:15:58,249 --> 00:15:59,583 You know what I'm saying, Wayne? 357 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,627 Some donkeys are tens, some are threes. 358 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:04,171 You're the donkey expert. Who's that donkey from Shrek? 359 00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:05,756 He is pretty. What's his name? 360 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,633 - Donkey. - You're an angel, Wayne. 361 00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:11,136 What I'm trying to say is, I trapped a firefly in a jar. 362 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:12,346 She's too good for me. 363 00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:15,265 I'd let her out, but with my donkey hooves, I can't. 364 00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:17,059 By the way, what's your name? 365 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,812 I'm Stan. And my wife thinks John Mayer is trying 366 00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,355 to talk to her through the radio, 367 00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:24,483 which is coocoomunga, but in another life, maybe it's true. 368 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:27,027 Maybe her broken brain is revealing a secret wish 369 00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:30,823 to be with someone fabulous instead of someone like me. 370 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:33,700 And now, unfortunately, she's on her way to kill him or something. 371 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:36,120 That's bad news. How can I help? 372 00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:39,456 She said she figured out where he is by listening to his live radio show. 373 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,709 Again, though, she's coocoomunga. 374 00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:45,170 And now for another great song, 375 00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,965 the same song we've been listening to for the last hour, 376 00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:52,261 this is "SOS" by ABBA. 377 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,472 Now I feel like John Mayer is talking to me. 378 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:56,890 That's an SOS. 379 00:16:56,974 --> 00:17:00,394 Oh, God, he's recording from the Win, but he wasn't in the booth. 380 00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:02,563 Well, then he's in the penthouse. 381 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,857 That's where they keep the beautiful donkeys. 382 00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,316 You did it, Wayne! 383 00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:09,945 Well, they don't call me Mr. Las Vegas for nothing. 384 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:13,949 I'm sorry, Mr. Las Vegas, but nobody gets up who isn't on the list. 385 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,868 - Damn. - I know she's up there. 386 00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,786 She's yelling, she's got him tied up. 387 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,330 Oh, God, she's going to jail, and it's all my fault. 388 00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,332 How are we gonna get up there now, Wayne? 389 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:26,962 I can do this with such ease, because I sleep in a hyperbaric chamber. 390 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,964 ♪ Danke schoen ♪ 391 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,675 ♪ Darling, danke schoen ♪ 392 00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,719 Oh, Wayne! 393 00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:35,846 I am telling you the truth. 394 00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:38,765 I don't know you. I've never seen you before in my life, 395 00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:42,186 you've broken into my room, and you are holding me hostage. 396 00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:45,439 - Francine! - Stan? 397 00:17:46,357 --> 00:17:47,525 Dr. Fay? 398 00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:51,236 Okay, now I'm tired. 399 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,280 I'm gonna take a quick disco nap. 400 00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:57,826 Hey, Wayne, I ordered a hyperbaric chamber from your merch guy, and it never arrived. 401 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,161 I paid 80 grand. 402 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,996 That guy doesn't work for me. 403 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,123 Everyone shut up! 404 00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:04,625 Dr. Fay, what are you doing? 405 00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:06,084 After you left my office, 406 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,086 I checked out the radio station. 407 00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:12,132 And I realized John Mayer wasn't talking to Francine, 408 00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:14,843 he was talking to me! 409 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:18,055 But he's being really weird about it. 410 00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:19,223 Now, sit! 411 00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:25,229 You. 412 00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:26,688 You got my messages! 413 00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:29,399 - Wait, what? - How did you get up here? 414 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,360 I had to go through the sewer. 415 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:35,656 She was on the list, under "Bed Bath and Beyond." 416 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,492 You shouldn't have come. 417 00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:42,413 I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. 418 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:50,838 ♪ Danke schoen Darling, danke schoen ♪ 419 00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:58,054 ♪ Thank you for all the joy and pain ♪ 420 00:18:58,596 --> 00:19:03,392 ♪ Picture show, second balcony... ♪ 421 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,269 That's why the karate! 422 00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:08,772 ♪ Was the place we'd meet Second seat ♪ 423 00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:10,232 ♪ Gold Dutch treat ♪ 424 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,111 ♪ Danke schoen ♪ 425 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:15,363 The zip ties! 426 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,657 Francine, wow. 427 00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:19,866 Francine. 428 00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:21,034 So that's your name. 429 00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:22,744 I haven't stopped thinking about you 430 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:25,330 since we were both perusing those shower radios 431 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:26,915 at BB and Beyond. 432 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:30,419 You were my white whale, but I had no way of reaching you. 433 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:34,506 I figured I'd start a radio station as a little nod to our meeting, 434 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:37,384 and just talk to you directly, in the shower. 435 00:19:37,468 --> 00:19:38,844 He means me. 436 00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:41,638 I see now that I was casting too wide a net, 437 00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:43,223 confusing a lot of people. 438 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:44,975 It's why I had to move upstairs. 439 00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:46,810 But that's all in the past. 440 00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,187 I knew you would hear me. I knew you would come. 441 00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:50,314 Hang on there. 442 00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,357 Stan, I went back to get you, 443 00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:55,444 but I got lost in the casino, and then you were gone. 444 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:58,280 I'm sorry for trapping you, that wasn't cool. 445 00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,531 No, Francine. 446 00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:02,534 I should apologize for trapping you. In this life. 447 00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:06,121 You shouldn't be with a donkey like me, you should be with John Mayer. 448 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,290 I don't want to be with John Mayer. 449 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,292 Oh, no, why not? 450 00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,086 You want to be with Wayne? 451 00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:16,173 Have you been listening to me at all? 452 00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:19,968 I came here to tell John Mayer to knock it off. 453 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,012 - Knock it off, John. - Okay. 454 00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:25,182 Stan, you can never trap me. 455 00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:30,437 I love you, and I choose you, every single day. 456 00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:32,064 'Cause I like weird. 457 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,613 I'm weeping again, but it's not donkey shame. 458 00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:40,948 I feel the opposite. 459 00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:45,827 Horse proud to be rock solid with the best gal in the world. 460 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:47,120 Bravo! 461 00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:50,248 Also, this was my plan all along. 462 00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:54,419 To get you guys to this truly rock-solid place. 463 00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,171 Would you believe that? 464 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,716 And also say it to the police. 465 00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:06,139 {\an8}Arboretum! Arboretum! 466 00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:08,767 {\an8}I can't wait to see the cherry blossoms. 467 00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:10,602 {\an8}And the birds of paradise. 468 00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:12,562 {\an8}Yes! Let's get crazy. 469 00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:17,776 {\an8} "We're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy." 470 00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:21,279 {\an8}Seal sang that, and John Mayer played it on the radio, 471 00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:22,572 {\an8}as a message for me. 472 00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:23,866 {\an8}You mean me. 473 00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:27,035 {\an8}Well, let's just ask him then. 474 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:28,704 {\an8}Why would he be talking to you guys? 475 00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,707 {\an8}He's talking to me!