1
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,547
今天是你的大日子

2
00:00:05,631 --> 00:00:06,632
東西帶了嗎?

3
00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:07,799
那當然

4
00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:11,553
范星,我沒帶

5
00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:12,930
- 你忘了帶?
- 我需要它

6
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,890
- 交給我
- 十分鐘,不然我就死定了

7
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:17,392
(早上8點50分)

8
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,236
史密斯,要出發了

9
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,739
- 我們該阻止她嗎?
- 當然不行

10
00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,115
她超棒的

11
00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:39,748
你在搞什麼鬼?

12
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:49,466
今天輪到我帶點心,我沒忘記

13
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:52,386
人人都有牛肉條和花生醬糖果棒可以吃

14
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:53,887
史坦,史坦!

15
00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:56,723
史坦!

16
00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,393
不,天啊

17
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,895
我們可以...直升機可以回到過去嗎?

18
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,818
早安,美國

19
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:11,446
我有預感今天會是美好的一天

20
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:14,533
太陽高掛,陽光普照

21
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:18,120
它向美國民眾打招呼

22
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:24,084
哦,說得好

23
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,837
早安,美國

24
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:31,049
{\an8}早安,美國

25
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:33,218
{\an8}(夫妻諮商)

26
00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:34,303
{\an8}(六個月後)

27
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:35,679
{\an8}范星,很高興看到妳還活著

28
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:39,766
{\an8}我知道妳的頭部受到嚴重創傷

29
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:43,937
{\an8}對,醫生說他們從沒見過
頭骨碎成這麼多片

30
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:46,648
{\an8}現在看看她,完美的頭骨
值得放進地下墓穴

31
00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:48,900
{\an8}如果地下墓穴有成堆的頭骨

32
00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:50,819
{\an8}我寶貝的頭骨會放在最頂端

33
00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:52,237
{\an8}最偉大的頭骨

34
00:01:53,030 --> 00:01:55,866
{\an8}就頭骨破裂來說,算是不幸中的大幸

35
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,159
{\an8}多數是大塊碎片

36
00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:59,411
{\an8}他們認為幾乎都找到了

37
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:01,079
{\an8}- 我現在好多了
- 好多了?

38
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:03,874
{\an8}應該說是全世界最棒的女人才對

39
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:07,210
{\an8}心地善良、身體健壯、酷炫的腦袋、美腳

40
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,420
{\an8}甚至有更棒的點子

41
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,050
{\an8}我很開心能夠確認兩位的狀況

42
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:17,095
{\an8}這種意外有時候會對婚姻造成影響

43
00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:19,848
{\an8}可能會有深藏的埋怨、隱藏的罪惡感...

44
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:21,099
{\an8}我先打斷一下

45
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:23,644
{\an8}首先,我們不認為這是意外

46
00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:26,438
{\an8}我們認為這是成長的機會

47
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:29,274
{\an8}我們的夫妻關係
跟范星的新頭骨一樣堅如磐石

48
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:33,487
{\an8}范星,妳對這段婚姻也這麼肯定嗎?

49
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,031
{\an8}是的

50
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:40,994
基於這點,我想跟妳說件事

51
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:47,876
約翰梅爾試著透過電台和我溝通

52
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,711
{\an8}- 妳說什麼?
- 那個音樂人?

53
00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:54,091
{\an8}他創立了一個衛星廣播電台試圖聯繫我

54
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,926
因為他沒有我的電話號碼

55
00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:59,763
好喔,我試著理解...

56
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,473
很難懂嗎?

57
00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:03,392
約翰梅爾為我癡狂

58
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:09,272
但是史坦,這是單方面的
他對我癡狂,所以別擔心

59
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,565
我為什麼要擔心?

60
00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:12,067
我知道妳在想什麼

61
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:15,862
但不是,沒有一直播約翰梅爾的歌

62
00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:18,115
只是有時候會播而已

63
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:22,119
通常是他編排的播放清單和談話

64
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:25,205
就像普通的電台

65
00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:28,041
除了約翰梅爾會直接跟我說話

66
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:31,044
他播放的歌曲全是給我的訊息

67
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,337
現在我懂了

68
00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:34,798
那個...讓妳焦頭爛額

69
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:35,924
是的

70
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:40,387
范星,妳是否認為約翰梅爾跟妳的交流

71
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:44,933
是妳出意外導致頭部創傷後才開始的?

72
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:48,937
天啊,我知道妳想說什麼

73
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:53,775
很多年前,約翰梅爾和我
在連鎖居家用品店見過一面

74
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:55,527
快幫我說句話,史坦

75
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:59,281
妳竟敢暗示我老婆是因為出意外
而產生這種幻想

76
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:02,784
約翰某人可能真的想透過他的電台聯絡她

77
00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:05,912
不是「幻想」,也不是「可能」,史坦

78
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,122
這是事實

79
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:08,582
我知道,太明顯了

80
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,168
我很擔心,我很想繼續聊...

81
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,752
不,我不想聊了

82
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:13,920
我要走人了

83
00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:19,092
史坦,你不太願意承認事情不對勁

84
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:21,887
因為你覺得自己要負責?

85
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,513
還用妳說...不是,什麼?

86
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,140
這是我的私人電話

87
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:28,602
如果情況惡化,請務必聯絡我

88
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,771
什麼惡化?她的恢復速度?

89
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,731
還是我不需負責的狀況惡化?

90
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,441
妳去找點正經事來做吧

91
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:41,323
我不喜歡那個費醫師

92
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,617
她根本不懂,她不懂我們

93
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,411
對,我只想把此刻之前的事情

94
00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:47,871
通通忘掉,妳也是吧?

95
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:51,124
- 不,我太生氣了
- 我也是

96
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:55,378
我不敢相信她暗示我腦袋有問題

97
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:58,089
我看過妳的腦袋,所以我知道狀況很好

98
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,052
- 你想聽嗎?
- 什麼?

99
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,178
好事還是壞事?

100
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:07,682
約翰梅爾的電台
還是這會讓你很不開心?

101
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:09,726
我可以忍受

102
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,730
妳很獨特,我知道妳喜歡哪種音樂

103
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,524
「好音樂」

104
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:19,694
歌手肉塊的《我願意為愛付出一切》

105
00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:21,404
- 懂了吧?
- 我懂

106
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:24,199
幫我串聯一下資訊,以防我出洋相

107
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:27,035
他願意「為愛付出一切」

108
00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:29,871
例如創建電台跟我交談

109
00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:33,625
而且我能吃很多肉塊,他一定知道這點

110
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:35,293
老天啊,對,真是個變態

111
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:37,379
我希望這一切能停止

112
00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:38,505
那就讓它停止吧

113
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:41,591
把電台關掉,永遠不要再想或談論這件事

114
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,678
抓住我的手指,我們一起按下按鈕

115
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,012
好

116
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:48,390
妳沒做錯事,我沒做錯事

117
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:49,933
都是過去的事了

118
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:53,728
約翰梅爾的事、那場意外和石器時代
都是過去的事了

119
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:59,317
有人週日想去植物園嗎?

120
00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:01,403
事情沒有過去!

121
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,113
是現在的事

122
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,198
現在還在發生

123
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:06,575
該睡了,大家快回房間

124
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,660
不能就這樣關掉

125
00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:09,744
為什麼不行?

126
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:13,081
因為它存在於電波中,電波存在於空氣中

127
00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:16,835
而我和家人的四周都是空氣

128
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,420
她說得沒錯

129
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:19,504
但我們在聊什麼?

130
00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:22,173
歡迎收聽《與約翰梅爾共度人生》

131
00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:25,343
請聽麥可伯特恩的
《我們怎麼能成為戀人》

132
00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,429
你打算讓他對她說這種話嗎?

133
00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:30,974
我這週會在拉斯維加斯的
勝利飯店現場直播

134
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,517
(《與約翰梅爾共度人生》)

135
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:35,061
如果妳在附近,歡迎過來打聲招呼

136
00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:36,521
我很想見妳

137
00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:39,608
他剛邀請我去飯店碰面

138
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:41,109
真無恥

139
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:44,279
史坦,我們要去拉斯維加斯跟他當面對質

140
00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:48,867
很明顯他對我的癡迷程度又惡化了

141
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:52,245
我們要找到約翰梅爾,我要叫他

142
00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:55,165
- 別鬧了
- 我馬上來

143
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,125
媽媽病了,腦袋壞掉

144
00:06:57,208 --> 00:07:00,462
你不該對她出意外感到內疚就縱容她

145
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:03,340
這是她的機會,另外妳給我閉嘴,我沒有

146
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,592
爸,你真的要帶她去拉斯維加斯

147
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:09,095
還是你要承認媽可能有嚴重的問題?

148
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:10,513
拉斯維加斯

149
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:11,681
好耶!

150
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:17,854
拉斯維加斯,寶貝

151
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,939
我們要去看表演,吃大餐

152
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,733
那裡有MM巧克力商店

153
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:24,778
好,但首先,我們要跟約翰梅爾對質

154
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,154
還是要這麼做嗎?

155
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,322
太好了

156
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,282
你看起來很緊張,史坦

157
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,493
- 我完全能理解原因
- 真的嗎?

158
00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:35,413
當然,但你忘了是他邀請我的

159
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,333
我的確忘了,現在我更放心了

160
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:42,087
真有意思

161
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:45,256
說到這個,我們為什麼
要從維吉尼亞州開車去拉斯維加斯?

162
00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,926
想要的話不是可以搭飛機嗎?

163
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,678
我不想留下的紀錄,史坦

164
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:54,140
好聰明,這可能是蠢話
但我們會停車休息嗎?

165
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:56,518
不需要,我精力充沛

166
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:58,561
況且我還插著舊導管

167
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,272
因為我之前住院好幾個月

168
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:02,982
醫院,沒錯

169
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,901
妳在醫院徹底康復了

170
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,194
看看這堆玩意

171
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:09,614
大量零食,不錯,乾洗手,太棒了

172
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:12,575
束帶...范星,束帶是做什麼用的?

173
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:13,993
給需要用的人

174
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,581
車子說需要加油

175
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:19,999
「去加油吧

176
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,085
束帶算是情況惡化嗎?」

177
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:24,254
車子很疑惑

178
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,839
(加油站)

179
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:29,300
- 喂
- 妳打電話來嗎?

180
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:31,136
- 史坦?
- 費醫生

181
00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:32,804
您怎麼會打來?

182
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:36,599
史坦,是你打給我的,范星還好嗎?

183
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:40,520
踢得好,俐落的手刀,既然妳打來了

184
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:43,606
我們在拉斯維加斯近郊
不眠不休開了18個小時

185
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:46,109
算是要去跟約翰梅爾對質

186
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,444
我也不太清楚

187
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,195
真要說的話,妳覺得如何?

188
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:52,157
史坦,你必須馬上調頭

189
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,618
你不能讓她接近約翰梅爾

190
00:08:55,702 --> 00:09:00,248
他是她精神錯亂的幻想對象,可能會出事

191
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:02,751
她需要住院檢查

192
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:05,336
她需要住進飯店

193
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:08,214
配上世界級水療和性感的泳池場景

194
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:09,549
史坦,不行

195
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:12,010
我聽到妳說的了,妳太誇張了

196
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:15,764
就像幫我做核磁共振的外國佬
只會無中生有

197
00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:18,808
我要登機了,拜託,史坦

198
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,060
請別再打給我了

199
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,228
(勝利賭場飯店)

200
00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:25,231
{\an8}(不眠不休18小時後)

201
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,526
{\an8}- 真輝煌
- 我們去找他

202
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:32,030
{\an8}我們先去房間,我需要...梳洗一下

203
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,156
{\an8}(辦理入住這邊請)

204
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,657
{\an8}我沒辦法排這麼長的隊

205
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,701
我是來辦正事的

206
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,662
我不禁聽到妳在辦正事

207
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:44,000
也不禁注意到妳有多美麗

208
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,960
妳不適合這隊伍,快過來

209
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:47,796
{\an8}(貴賓)

210
00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,839
{\an8}- 妳想入住的房型?
- 都可以,快一點的

211
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:50,965
{\an8}好

212
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:53,009
她很神祕、謙虛

213
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:56,054
稍微貶低我,我超愛的

214
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,430
約翰梅爾在哪裡?

215
00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:58,765
忠實粉絲?

216
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:00,058
對,他是我的粉絲

217
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:05,188
他整週都在飯店直播他的衛星電台節目

218
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:08,775
我知道,他在哪裡?

219
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,485
臭三八,我會告訴妳

220
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:14,489
賭場樓層有間錄音室

221
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,619
(賭場)

222
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:20,703
(《約翰梅爾直播》)

223
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:23,248
- 為何約翰梅爾不在錄音室?
- 他改去別的地方了

224
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,041
但他仍然在現場直播

225
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:28,920
拜託別把我當成怪胎路人,好嗎?

226
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:30,421
是他邀請我來的

227
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:33,299
約翰梅爾創立這個電台是為了跟我說話

228
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:37,428
史坦,天啊,我覺得好丟臉

229
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:39,764
為這些女性感到丟臉

230
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:44,227
他們認為約翰梅爾透過電台跟她們說話

231
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,728
我去看看到底怎麼回事

232
00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:49,232
快告訴我他在哪裡錄廣播

233
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:50,483
我不會傷害他

234
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:53,069
我只想抱他...抱得他無法動彈

235
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:55,864
那是我老婆

236
00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,866
我很難接受現實

237
00:10:57,949 --> 00:10:59,951
她有嚴重的精神病

238
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,244
我幫不了她

239
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:02,579
你也是?

240
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,665
不,聽起來你應該帶老婆去醫院

241
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,126
但我呢?我在我該待的地方

242
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:11,212
準備讓老婆好好休息並振作起來

243
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:12,922
她沒什麼好振作的

244
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,343
我想我們得遠離這些人

245
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:18,469
要是他們發現

246
00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:20,889
約翰說話的對象是妳,可能會出事

247
00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:22,182
很有道理

248
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,517
沒錯,我們去泳池吧

249
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:27,812
沉浸在平靜療癒的水中,放鬆一下

250
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:30,565
我開始覺得有點累了

251
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:31,983
交給我

252
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,693
做出正確的選擇,老兄

253
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:38,740
范星,有看到我嗎?

254
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,783
等等,我那次鼻子進水

255
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:45,163
好的,親愛的,她有母親的感覺

256
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,749
她很性感、經典

257
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:52,212
她整個人很僵硬,超讚女王

258
00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:55,715
我沒事

259
00:11:55,798 --> 00:12:00,136
訂位男,訂位男,幫我訂到位了嗎?

260
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:04,349
有,你在最後一刻叫我訂最好的位置

261
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:05,975
給的錢卻超少

262
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,894
對,就是我,謝謝你還記得

263
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:13,608
我訂好下午2點30的晚餐
在另一家飯店的牛排館

264
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:16,110
以及下午4點韋恩紐頓表演的票

265
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:20,240
給我們你們最美味、最補腦的料理

266
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:21,950
我不是說有人需要啦

267
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,785
或許是我吧

268
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:24,994
也許我有需要

269
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,249
(韋恩復興!)

270
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:31,209
- 史坦和范星
- 嗨,羅傑

271
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:34,337
我是萊昂西奧貝東西奧
韋恩的官方商品業務

272
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,421
(韋恩!)

273
00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:37,674
范星依舊如此迷人

274
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,636
過去幾小時,她有點沒精神
一句話都沒說

275
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:44,514
人在振作起來之前,可能會這樣

276
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,600
也許吧,想來件韋恩紐頓的襯衫嗎?

277
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:50,770
韋恩紐頓牙齒美白貼片?高壓氧艙?

278
00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:54,107
我們都知道韋恩
看起來氣色有多好,有多強壯

279
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:56,567
我其實沒見過他,不知道他的長相或歌曲

280
00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:58,778
什麼?他可是「拉斯維加斯先生」

281
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,364
這是他睡覺用的高壓氧艙

282
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,950
不是這一台,但基本上跟這台一樣

283
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:08,204
只需要超低價五萬三千美元就能帶回家

284
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:11,165
我真心希望表演不會太爛

285
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:15,586
我的心總會說:「非常感謝

286
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,297
非常感謝」

287
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:18,673
耶!

288
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:19,841
太動聽了

289
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:21,050
美妙極了

290
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,052
史坦,我想通了

291
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,263
真的?我好開心,范星

292
00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:27,390
我就知道妳會,我也是

293
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,100
多虧了韋恩紐頓

294
00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:30,893
該留下來看晚上七點的表演嗎?

295
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,020
不了,抱歉

296
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:35,106
我這幾個小時都沒在聽表演或你說的話

297
00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:38,276
我一直在聽約翰梅爾的現場直播

298
00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:40,069
我想通他在哪裡了

299
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,989
是時候讓他永遠閉嘴了

300
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:49,370
等等,如果我沒進去這個高壓氧艙
我會後悔不已

301
00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:50,538
看我坐不坐得進去

302
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,586
費醫生,聽到留言馬上打給我

303
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,797
她需要幫助,我幫不了她,她瘋了

304
00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:01,340
你覺得我瘋了?

305
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:03,134
這不是隔音的嗎?

306
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:06,512
你從頭到尾都不相信我

307
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:11,642
這比你把我從300英尺丟下摔破頭
還讓我痛苦

308
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:14,353
請妳理解,我以為這是隔音的

309
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:20,735
費醫生,又是我
我像睡美人一樣被困在這裡

310
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:24,238
我的白馬王子好像要殺掉約翰梅爾

311
00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:28,659
睡美人這說法很貼切
你很快就會變成「睡美豔動人」了

312
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:30,286
想帶回家只要...

313
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:31,954
真不敢相信我會開這個價碼

314
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,956
六萬五千美元

315
00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:37,502
你看起來不太興奮
我之前開的價碼更低嗎?

316
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,217
我得阻止范星

317
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:47,178
不得了,只進行一次療程就變得這麼強壯

318
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:48,387
要幫你結帳嗎?

319
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:51,265
范星,天啊,范星

320
00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:52,683
范星

321
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,520
為什麼賭場會設計成這樣?

322
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:56,646
出口在哪裡?

323
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,606
我其實...你知道嗎?

324
00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:00,525
我也不知道

325
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:04,821
范星

326
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,406
不,我是韋恩紐頓

327
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:10,618
我無意打擾,我失去了我老婆

328
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:13,079
我很遺憾,她怎麼過世的?

329
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,831
她沒有,她甩了我

330
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,209
這不是玩笑,是真的

331
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:21,295
上台吧,告訴我們到底怎麼回事

332
00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:23,256
我搞砸了,韋恩,完全搞砸了

333
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,966
我不敢面對現實

334
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:27,343
但你的歌讓我落淚

335
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,804
因為你的歌把我最深切的感受化為文字

336
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:33,349
我說的內容當然是「羞恥驢子」

337
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:34,433
「非常感謝」

338
00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:36,310
沒錯,「羞恥驢子」

339
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:39,397
驢子光是存在就會感到羞恥

340
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,315
那就是我,我是驢子

341
00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:44,902
我不僅害我老婆出意外摔壞腦袋

342
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:47,905
對,韋恩,那是意外,不是機會

343
00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:50,074
- 了解了
- 你該看看我老婆

344
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:53,244
她渾身充滿光芒,是內外兼具的美人

345
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:56,539
我懂了,她理應跟美麗的驢子在一起

346
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,374
一頭不會對自己感到羞恥的驢子

347
00:15:58,457 --> 00:15:59,542
你懂嗎,韋恩?

348
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:01,627
有些驢子是十分,有些是三分

349
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:04,172
你是驢子專家
《史瑞克》中的驢子叫什麼?

350
00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:05,756
牠很漂亮,牠叫什麼名字?

351
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,633
- 驢子
- 你真是個天使,韋恩

352
00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:11,137
我想說的是,我把螢火蟲困在罐子裡

353
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:12,346
我配不上她

354
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:15,266
我本來想放她出來,但我用驢蹄辦不到

355
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:17,059
對了,你叫什麼名字?

356
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:20,479
我叫史坦,我老婆認為約翰梅爾

357
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:24,483
想透過電台跟她說話,太瘋癲了
但在另一個世界也許是真的

358
00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:27,069
也許她破碎的腦袋透露出一個祕密願望

359
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:30,823
她想跟優秀的人在一起
而不是像我這種人

360
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:33,701
不幸的是現在她可能正準備去殺他

361
00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:36,120
真是壞消息,我能幫什麼忙?

362
00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:39,457
她說她聽了電台直播查出他的位置

363
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,375
不過她有點瘋癲

364
00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:45,922
接下來是另一首好歌

365
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,007
我們過去一個小時都在聽這首歌

366
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:51,844
阿巴合唱團的《求救訊號》

367
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,473
我感覺約翰梅爾好像在跟我說話

368
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,183
是《求救訊號》

369
00:16:57,266 --> 00:17:00,394
天啊,他在勝利飯店直播
但他不在錄音室裡

370
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:02,563
那他肯定在閣樓

371
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,857
漂亮的驢子都住那裡

372
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,234
你做到了,韋恩

373
00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:09,946
拉斯維加斯先生可不是浪得虛名

374
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,907
抱歉,拉斯維加斯先生
但不在名單上的人

375
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,659
- 不能上樓
- 可惡

376
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:15,868
我知道她在上面

377
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,828
她在大喊,她把他五花大綁

378
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:20,373
天啊,她要被抓去關了,都是我的錯

379
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:22,667
我們現在要怎麼上去,韋恩?

380
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:26,963
我可以輕鬆搞定,因為我睡在高壓氧艙

381
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:31,634
非常感謝,親愛的,非常感謝

382
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:33,302
韋恩

383
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:35,846
我說的是實話

384
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:38,724
我不認識妳,我這輩子從沒見過妳

385
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:42,353
妳闖進我的房間,還挾持我

386
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,397
范星

387
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,565
史坦?

388
00:17:46,357 --> 00:17:47,441
費醫生?

389
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:51,070
現在我累了

390
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:53,281
我先小睡一下

391
00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:56,659
韋恩,我從你的商品業務訂了高壓氧艙

392
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,161
但一直沒送來,我付了八萬美元

393
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,997
那傢伙不是我的員工

394
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,124
通通閉嘴

395
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:04,625
費醫生,妳在做什麼?

396
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:08,087
你們離開辦公室後,我調查了那個電台

397
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:12,133
我發現約翰梅爾不是在跟范星說話

398
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:14,844
而是在跟我說話!

399
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:18,055
但他的態度真的很怪

400
00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:19,223
給我坐下

401
00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:27,648
- 是妳,妳收到我的訊息了
- 等等,什麼?

402
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:29,400
妳是怎麼上來的?

403
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,319
我得爬排水管才能上來

404
00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:35,406
她在名單上,寫在連鎖居家用品店下方

405
00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:38,618
妳不該來的

406
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:42,288
這正是我該待的地方

407
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,227
所以她之前才在練空手道

408
00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:15,363
束帶

409
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,532
范星,天啊

410
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:19,784
范星

411
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:21,035
原來妳叫范星

412
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:24,080
我無時無刻不想妳,自從我們兩個

413
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,916
在連鎖居家用品店找防水收音機的時候

414
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:30,336
妳是我的白鯨,但我聯絡不上妳

415
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:34,298
我想開個廣播電台,為我們的相遇致意

416
00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:37,385
然後在浴室裡直接跟妳說話

417
00:19:37,468 --> 00:19:38,844
他是在說我

418
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:43,182
我現在知道我撒的網太寬了
讓許多人會錯意

419
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:44,975
所以我必須移動到樓上

420
00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:46,686
但那都是過去的事了

421
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:49,188
我就知道妳會聽到,我就知道妳會來

422
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:50,398
等等,梅爾

423
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:54,193
史坦,我回去找你,但我在賭場迷路了

424
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:55,444
然後你人就不見了

425
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:58,280
抱歉我把你困住,這樣不對

426
00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,532
不,范星

427
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:02,535
我才應該為困住妳而道歉

428
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:04,453
妳不該跟我這種驢子在一起

429
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,122
妳應該跟約翰梅爾在一起

430
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,499
我又不想跟約翰梅爾在一起

431
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:10,292
不,為什麼?

432
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,044
那妳想跟韋恩在一起?

433
00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:16,173
你有在聽我說話嗎?

434
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:19,885
我是來告訴約翰梅爾別鬧了

435
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:22,012
- 別鬧了,約翰
- 好啦

436
00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:25,182
史坦,我永遠不會被你困住

437
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:30,271
我愛你,這輩子都會選擇你

438
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,605
因為我喜歡奇怪的...

439
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,613
我又落淚了,但這不是羞恥驢子的關係

440
00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:42,700
恰恰相反,我有驕傲馬匹的感覺

441
00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:45,786
能跟全世界最棒的女孩在一起

442
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,121
棒呆了

443
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:50,249
另外,這正是我當初的打算

444
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:54,420
讓你們的夫妻關係變得堅如磐石

445
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,213
你們相信嗎?

446
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:58,299
另外記得跟警察說

447
00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:04,597
{\an8}植物園

448
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,265
{\an8}植物園

449
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,934
{\an8}我等不及賞櫻了

450
00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:10,603
{\an8}還有天堂鳥

451
00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:12,563
{\an8}對,讓我們瘋癲一回

452
00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:17,693
{\an8}「我們若是不瘋癲,根本無法活下去」

453
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:18,903
{\an8}席爾唱的

454
00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:22,573
{\an8}約翰梅爾在電台播這首歌向我傳達訊息

455
00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:23,991
{\an8}你是說我吧?

456
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:27,077
{\an8}那我們去問他

457
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:28,704
{\an8}他為什麼要跟你們說話?

458
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,123
{\an8}他是在跟我說話!

459
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:32,208
{\an8}(拉斯維加斯)

460
00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:38,214
字幕翻譯: 陳宣云