1
00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:05,550
Do you ever think about dying?
2
00:00:05,660 --> 00:00:07,890
I just watched Chernobyl on HBO.
3
00:00:07,990 --> 00:00:10,060
There were so many people dying,
4
00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:11,930
I couldn't even laugh
at the jokes.
5
00:00:12,030 --> 00:00:13,930
You never know
what's gonna get ya, Francine.
6
00:00:14,030 --> 00:00:15,370
Take my friend, Jennifer.
7
00:00:15,460 --> 00:00:17,200
She got warts on her feet
walking barefoot
8
00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:19,070
at a Rascal Flatts concert.
9
00:00:19,170 --> 00:00:21,070
Which is why I always
wear foot condoms.
10
00:00:21,170 --> 00:00:22,940
You'd think they don't
make condoms that big.
11
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:24,640
But I've got a guy?
Downtown?
12
00:00:24,740 --> 00:00:26,710
He'll make you condoms
any size you want.
13
00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:30,110
Roger! I'm trying to talk to you
about death.
14
00:00:30,210 --> 00:00:32,720
Do you realize we could go
at any time?
15
00:00:32,820 --> 00:00:34,620
And as if that weren't bad enough,
16
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,650
Jennifer's having a crisis
with her adult daughter, Ricki.
17
00:00:37,750 --> 00:00:38,790
Can you listen to me?
18
00:00:38,890 --> 00:00:40,390
Ricki won't move out of the house.
19
00:00:40,490 --> 00:00:42,660
And now Ricki's adult mom's
new boyfriend,
20
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:44,330
Douglath...
that's how he pronounces it
21
00:00:44,430 --> 00:00:46,300
because he says that's
the "official" way...
22
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:47,560
Douglath...
23
00:00:47,660 --> 00:00:49,800
He's so annoying!
24
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:53,000
Brain, do what Roger sounds like.
25
00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:56,570
"Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah."
That's exactly right, brain.
26
00:00:56,670 --> 00:00:57,940
Good impression.
27
00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:00,340
Maybe I should just go.
28
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:01,780
Yeah, good idea.
29
00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:03,480
- I'm gonna go.
- Oh, don't go!
30
00:01:03,580 --> 00:01:05,750
Having you here
makes me feel so heard.
31
00:01:05,850 --> 00:01:07,480
I guess that's why
you're my best friend
32
00:01:07,580 --> 00:01:08,980
in the whole wide world.
33
00:01:09,090 --> 00:01:10,850
- I'm your best friend?
- Yes.
34
00:01:10,950 --> 00:01:12,290
What about Stan?
35
00:01:12,390 --> 00:01:14,820
He's been distant since
we kissed at Coachella.
36
00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:16,760
- How about Klaus?
- Derendorf?
37
00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:18,330
The LA-based record producer?
38
00:01:18,430 --> 00:01:20,100
- I barely know him!
- What about Steve?
39
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:21,100
Potrowski?
40
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:22,670
- Hayley...
- Joel Osment?
41
00:01:22,770 --> 00:01:24,430
A solid friend, but we'll never be
42
00:01:24,530 --> 00:01:25,670
as close as you and me.
43
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,170
I guess I could hang out
a bit longer.
44
00:01:29,270 --> 00:01:30,640
Good.
Oh, get this!
45
00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:33,280
Jennifer's daughter had sex
with a man at SeaWorld.
46
00:01:33,380 --> 00:01:34,840
In front of the dolphins.
47
00:01:34,940 --> 00:01:37,550
And the dolphins started
acting all weird after.
48
00:01:37,650 --> 00:01:40,350
They had to pour CBD oil
into the tank.
49
00:02:16,850 --> 00:02:20,860
Death. Death.
Death. Death.
50
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,560
Death. Death.
Death.
51
00:02:23,660 --> 00:02:25,830
Oh, Francine!
I got an update...
52
00:02:25,930 --> 00:02:27,860
...about Ricki's adult mom
53
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,330
Jennifer's boyfriend, Douglath!
54
00:02:31,830 --> 00:02:33,440
Where is she?
55
00:02:33,540 --> 00:02:34,770
Oh, hey, Hayley.
56
00:02:34,870 --> 00:02:35,940
Puttin' in a tampon?
57
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:37,370
Get out!
58
00:02:37,470 --> 00:02:39,740
Sheesh.
Must be that time of the month.
59
00:02:41,410 --> 00:02:43,210
Oh, a visitor.
60
00:02:43,310 --> 00:02:45,250
Welcome to my alcove.
61
00:02:45,350 --> 00:02:46,920
I'm hiding out from Roger,
62
00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:50,020
and this is the last place
anyone would ever go.
63
00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:53,590
Visitors can sometimes
say the cruelest things.
64
00:02:53,690 --> 00:02:57,690
Alas, why was I born
loving visitors so?
65
00:02:57,790 --> 00:03:01,430
You must never let a visitor
see your tears, Klaus.
66
00:03:01,530 --> 00:03:04,230
Good one, Francine.
67
00:03:05,540 --> 00:03:07,240
I'm actually off to
a bit of a spa day
68
00:03:07,340 --> 00:03:08,540
in the kitchen.
69
00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:10,470
You should come with.
70
00:03:10,570 --> 00:03:11,610
Francine?
71
00:03:11,710 --> 00:03:13,740
You in here cooking up
some yogurt?
72
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:22,750
Nothing like a good steam.
73
00:03:25,390 --> 00:03:27,560
So, what's going on
with you and Roger?
74
00:03:27,660 --> 00:03:29,790
He doesn't listen to me anymore.
75
00:03:29,890 --> 00:03:32,500
He's always blah, blah, blah
nonstop.
76
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,460
Seems like maybe the door
is opening wider
77
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,300
for our friendship.
78
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:39,400
I don't come to the spa
to be hit on
79
00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:41,670
by little orange lame-os.
80
00:03:41,770 --> 00:03:44,940
I'm trying to solve my problem
with Roger.
81
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,810
Well, you could be honest
with him about your feelings.
82
00:03:47,910 --> 00:03:50,480
Like you are with me
for some cruel reason.
83
00:03:51,550 --> 00:03:52,980
Well, if it's his constant gabbing
84
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:56,420
that's driving you crazy,
go somewhere he can't talk.
85
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:57,590
Like space!
86
00:03:57,690 --> 00:03:59,960
- Or the movies.
- Oh, that's great.
87
00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:01,420
Because it's closer.
88
00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:03,290
And I know how to get there.
89
00:04:03,390 --> 00:04:04,860
And I have a coupon.
90
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,500
And you can't eat
Goobers in space.
91
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,430
They'd float away!
92
00:04:09,530 --> 00:04:11,800
I think that's enough reasons.
93
00:04:16,370 --> 00:04:19,340
So it turns out, Ricki's
boyfriend wasn't a lawyer.
94
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,950
He was just carrying a briefcase
to and from Starbucks every day.
95
00:04:23,050 --> 00:04:25,150
Jennifer was crushed.
96
00:04:25,250 --> 00:04:28,390
Mister, you're ruining
my first trip to the movies.
97
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,720
I see right through you, pal.
You're not a little kid.
98
00:04:30,820 --> 00:04:32,720
You're just a tiny man
who gets his rocks off
99
00:04:32,820 --> 00:04:34,560
pretending he's never been
to a theater before.
100
00:04:34,590 --> 00:04:36,030
You don't know me.
101
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:37,460
Roger, be quiet!
102
00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:38,900
Fine, I'll whisper.
103
00:04:38,990 --> 00:04:41,730
So, Jennifer
is taking a trip to Chicago...
104
00:04:41,830 --> 00:04:44,370
Oh, my gosh.
Have you ever been to Chicago?
105
00:04:44,470 --> 00:04:47,040
There is so much deep-dish pizza,
106
00:04:47,140 --> 00:04:48,870
which is a thing I do not like.
107
00:04:48,970 --> 00:04:51,910
I'm more of a super-flat
cheeseburger guy myself.
108
00:04:52,010 --> 00:04:53,840
What is happening?
109
00:04:53,940 --> 00:04:56,410
I love this whispering.
110
00:04:56,510 --> 00:04:58,790
Please direct me to your city's
finest, flattest cheeseburger.
111
00:04:58,810 --> 00:05:00,180
Goosebumps.
112
00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:03,050
The real Chicagoan experience...
113
00:05:08,260 --> 00:05:09,830
Y'all feelin' this?!
114
00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:13,060
Neuron dance party!
115
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,740
...a man on the bus said
it didn't matter how much
116
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,710
I liked flat cheeseburgers.
117
00:05:25,810 --> 00:05:28,010
That didn't make it
a Chicago thing.
118
00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:29,910
So, whatever,
that trip was a bust.
119
00:05:30,010 --> 00:05:31,210
The end.
120
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:35,750
No, keep talking about yourself,
121
00:05:35,850 --> 00:05:37,620
and don't forget to whisper.
122
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,960
You're the best listener
in the world.
123
00:05:40,060 --> 00:05:43,530
Okay, so after Chi-Town,
I was like,
124
00:05:43,630 --> 00:05:45,730
"Why am I traveling so much?"
125
00:05:45,830 --> 00:05:48,430
So I stayed home and went to CVS
126
00:05:48,530 --> 00:05:50,200
and slid around the linoleum
127
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:53,700
in the socks Stan yelled at me
for wearing hiking.
128
00:05:57,270 --> 00:05:58,640
There she is, fellas.
129
00:05:58,740 --> 00:06:01,140
The future Mrs. Ashley Wagner.
130
00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:03,050
I'll be taking her name
when we get married.
131
00:06:03,150 --> 00:06:05,050
Does she even know you exist?
132
00:06:05,150 --> 00:06:07,050
Not yet,
but I've written a love note
133
00:06:07,150 --> 00:06:08,280
to drop in her locker.
134
00:06:08,380 --> 00:06:11,090
Smart!
Girls love to read!
135
00:06:11,190 --> 00:06:13,490
I told her I'd reveal myself
at the dance
136
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:16,230
and signed it
"Your secret admirer,"
137
00:06:16,330 --> 00:06:18,760
so she'll fall in love with me
for the merits of my writing
138
00:06:18,860 --> 00:06:22,300
and not my
Rachel Maddow good looks.
139
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:23,470
Coming through!
140
00:06:23,570 --> 00:06:25,430
Dangerous construction materials!
141
00:06:25,540 --> 00:06:27,940
Shortcut to the site,
through the school!
142
00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,510
Oh, goth girls.
Spooky.
143
00:06:39,780 --> 00:06:41,120
Steve, look out!
144
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,420
Oh, God!
I could be blamed for this.
145
00:06:52,290 --> 00:06:54,330
My sweet Steve!
146
00:06:54,430 --> 00:06:56,500
We were friends!
147
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,500
We were friends!
148
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,540
What are you talking about?
149
00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:02,970
We're still friends.
150
00:07:03,070 --> 00:07:04,270
Do you not feel it?
151
00:07:04,370 --> 00:07:05,640
Feel what?
152
00:07:05,740 --> 00:07:07,640
Hey, look.
Someone slipped me a note.
153
00:07:07,740 --> 00:07:09,850
"Dear beautiful."
154
00:07:09,950 --> 00:07:12,020
Flattery will get you everywhere.
155
00:07:12,110 --> 00:07:13,850
"You're all I can
think about..."
156
00:07:14,980 --> 00:07:16,820
Are you all right?
157
00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,620
I'm better than all right!
158
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,820
I have a secret admirer!
159
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:23,390
And she's gonna reveal herself
at the dance!
160
00:07:23,490 --> 00:07:25,190
Looks like ol' Steven Anita
161
00:07:25,290 --> 00:07:28,030
might be the first
to lose his V-card.
162
00:07:41,940 --> 00:07:43,580
One of those days?
163
00:07:44,980 --> 00:07:46,550
Roger whispered.
164
00:07:46,650 --> 00:07:48,320
And when he did,
165
00:07:48,420 --> 00:07:51,550
it gave me
an incredible sensation.
166
00:07:51,660 --> 00:07:55,920
A kind of peace and relaxation
I haven't felt
167
00:07:56,030 --> 00:07:58,860
since I started
obsessing over death.
168
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:03,430
I got the chilly thrillies
up and down my neck!
169
00:08:03,530 --> 00:08:05,170
Ah, yes.
170
00:08:05,270 --> 00:08:07,170
Technically, it's called ASMR.
171
00:08:07,270 --> 00:08:09,840
ASMR?
As in...
172
00:08:09,940 --> 00:08:13,180
asymmetrical sexy men rule?
173
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:15,850
No. It's when you get
unbelievably relaxed
174
00:08:15,940 --> 00:08:17,210
by whispers.
175
00:08:17,310 --> 00:08:20,380
It also works with eating
pickles or other crunchy foods,
176
00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:23,050
like...
177
00:08:23,150 --> 00:08:25,290
pickles, which is...
178
00:08:25,390 --> 00:08:26,460
the best example.
179
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:28,290
Some people think ASMR is sexual,
180
00:08:28,390 --> 00:08:30,690
but for most people, it's not.
181
00:08:30,790 --> 00:08:32,130
But for me, it definitely is.
182
00:08:32,230 --> 00:08:34,730
Klaus, this is perfect!
183
00:08:34,830 --> 00:08:38,230
I'll just hang out with Roger
where he's forced to whisper.
184
00:08:38,870 --> 00:08:40,650
So it turns out,
185
00:08:40,670 --> 00:08:42,870
Ricki's boyfriend didn't
run out on her.
186
00:08:42,970 --> 00:08:46,580
He just got tangled in some
wind chimes at a Pier 1
187
00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:48,580
and they found him
a couple of days ago,
188
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:51,150
severely dehydrated.
189
00:08:55,750 --> 00:08:57,990
That movie was really relaxing.
190
00:08:58,090 --> 00:09:01,220
Oh, yeah, these Transformers
movies are so zen.
191
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,160
All that metal-on-metal scraping.
192
00:09:03,260 --> 00:09:05,590
And Optimus Prime is sneaky funny.
193
00:09:05,690 --> 00:09:08,300
Hanging out with you
has really taken my mind off
194
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,270
death by nuclear holocaust.
195
00:09:10,370 --> 00:09:12,330
In fact, why are we leaving?
196
00:09:12,430 --> 00:09:13,470
Let's see another movie.
197
00:09:13,570 --> 00:09:14,640
I'm a little movied out.
198
00:09:14,740 --> 00:09:16,100
Can we go somewhere
where I can talk?
199
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,670
Out loud?
200
00:09:17,770 --> 00:09:19,310
Oh! Yes.
201
00:09:19,410 --> 00:09:20,740
Great idea.
202
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:22,510
How about the...
203
00:09:22,610 --> 00:09:23,650
library?
204
00:09:23,750 --> 00:09:25,180
La biblioteca?
205
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,580
That's Spanish for
"Sure, why not?"
206
00:09:29,180 --> 00:09:31,660
Oh, I am a total Hufflepuff.
207
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,590
Don't you think I'm a Hufflepuff?
208
00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:36,660
Francine, what the fuff
is a Hufflepuff?
209
00:09:40,030 --> 00:09:41,130
Pickle?
210
00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:44,330
A man would be a fool
to refuse a purse pickle.
211
00:09:51,510 --> 00:09:53,980
Oh, that's nice.
212
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,940
There's an owl in this.
213
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:57,710
If I was interested in things
with big eyes,
214
00:09:57,810 --> 00:09:59,880
I would still be stalking
Emma Stone.
215
00:09:59,980 --> 00:10:01,350
Do you think
I should check on her?
216
00:10:01,450 --> 00:10:03,720
No, let's go to a golf tournament.
217
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:06,520
Sure. And maybe on the way,
we swing by her parents' house
218
00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:08,890
and see if they have
anything cool in their trash?
219
00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:13,500
Douglath bailed on Jen,
220
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,560
so she went
indoor skydiving alone.
221
00:10:15,670 --> 00:10:16,900
So brave.
222
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,700
I can't even go
to Souplantation alone.
223
00:10:20,740 --> 00:10:22,740
What do you think
it would sound like
224
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:25,140
if you tapped your nails
on this book
225
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,510
I stole from the library?
226
00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:38,760
I think he killed that guy.
227
00:10:38,850 --> 00:10:40,160
It's okay.
228
00:10:40,260 --> 00:10:41,590
I've come to realize
229
00:10:41,690 --> 00:10:43,690
death plays a beautiful role
230
00:10:43,790 --> 00:10:45,930
in the circle of life.
231
00:10:49,030 --> 00:10:50,422
This funeral reminds me
232
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:52,870
of when Jennifer's dog
got heartworm.
233
00:10:52,970 --> 00:10:54,200
It survived, of course.
234
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:56,100
That's the main difference.
235
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,780
Crinkle these noodles as you talk.
236
00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,080
You betcha.
237
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,880
Shortcut through the cemetery!
238
00:11:04,980 --> 00:11:07,380
This funeral's spooky!
239
00:11:10,450 --> 00:11:13,690
My secret admirer
is a helluva writer.
240
00:11:13,790 --> 00:11:16,030
Should we tell him
he wrote that letter?
241
00:11:16,130 --> 00:11:18,360
Why?
Look how happy he is.
242
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,560
Just look at the way
she loops her L's.
243
00:11:20,660 --> 00:11:23,300
She clearly knows her way
around a dick.
244
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,740
Should we at least
pull out the pole?
245
00:11:25,830 --> 00:11:29,040
No, then he'll remember
he wrote the note!
246
00:11:29,140 --> 00:11:31,710
You want to fix his brain
and break his heart?
247
00:11:33,140 --> 00:11:35,980
This food tastes kind of metallic.
248
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,480
Are you guys getting any of that?
249
00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:39,120
Yes, sir!
250
00:11:39,210 --> 00:11:41,820
Pearl Bailey's famous
copper nachos.
251
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:45,450
There's a lucky penny
melted into every batch!
252
00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:47,420
So, you guys are assuring me
this is normal?
253
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:48,660
Oh, yeah.
254
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:51,260
Everything that's going on
is normal.
255
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:54,060
Normal's the word of the day here.
256
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,100
Francinie-weenie!
257
00:11:58,200 --> 00:11:59,600
Ready to hang?
258
00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:01,140
No Francine.
259
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,270
Welp, then I guess
this is a great time
260
00:12:03,370 --> 00:12:06,140
for me to snoop!
261
00:12:07,340 --> 00:12:08,810
Spider-Man action figure.
262
00:12:08,910 --> 00:12:10,480
Unexpected.
263
00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:11,810
Grapefruit.
264
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,180
Another Spider-Man?
265
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:14,850
She really has a thing
for Spider-Man.
266
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:19,350
What's this?
267
00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:23,690
A microcassette
of "Roger's whispers"?
268
00:12:25,660 --> 00:12:27,930
And I'm
like, "What channels do I lose
269
00:12:28,030 --> 00:12:30,430
if I move down
to the ultimate package?"
270
00:12:30,530 --> 00:12:34,200
And she's like, "You'd lose
HGTV and DIY Network."
271
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:37,170
So, yeah, I still pay
$400 a month for cable.
272
00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:41,340
Klaus, do you know why Francine
is recording my stories?
273
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:43,480
Is she trying to steal them
for a book or something?
274
00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:45,950
Like you did when you befriended
The Situation?
275
00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:46,880
Yeah, like that.
276
00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:48,970
Oh, no. She doesn't care about
what you're saying.
277
00:12:48,990 --> 00:12:51,190
She just likes the sounds
your mouth makes
278
00:12:51,290 --> 00:12:52,860
when you whisper and stuff!
279
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,520
They relax her.
280
00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:57,330
She's recording everything you do.
281
00:12:57,430 --> 00:12:59,400
What?!
282
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:01,560
"Roger's crunching"?
283
00:13:05,970 --> 00:13:07,057
Oh, my God.
284
00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:08,740
Is that what I sound like
when I eat pickles?
285
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,340
So nasally.
286
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:11,640
I thought I sounded more like
287
00:13:11,740 --> 00:13:13,980
Dwayne "Vin Diesel 'The Rock'"
Johnson.
288
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:17,050
Rawr, we're family!
Crunch crunch.
289
00:13:17,150 --> 00:13:19,920
Francine's not listening to me?
290
00:13:23,420 --> 00:13:25,390
I caught you red-handed!
291
00:13:25,490 --> 00:13:27,690
Hey, man, I paid for this toast.
292
00:13:27,790 --> 00:13:29,260
"Roger's crunching"?!
293
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,430
You only care about my noises!
294
00:13:31,530 --> 00:13:33,230
What's the big deal?
295
00:13:33,330 --> 00:13:35,870
We're hanging out,
and your noises relax me.
296
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,230
You want to relax?
297
00:13:37,330 --> 00:13:40,000
Listen to the crunch of me
destroying your tapes!
298
00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:41,240
No!
299
00:13:42,540 --> 00:13:43,540
But no!
300
00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:45,610
Oh, that's nice.
301
00:13:45,710 --> 00:13:47,280
Well, that's all you're getting!
302
00:13:47,380 --> 00:13:49,610
You won't get another sound
out of me!
303
00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:52,280
Roger, I can just
follow you around
304
00:13:52,380 --> 00:13:54,120
and tape whatever I want.
305
00:13:54,220 --> 00:13:55,850
Oh, you're gonna follow me?
306
00:13:55,950 --> 00:13:57,590
Bet you won't follow me to...
307
00:13:57,690 --> 00:13:59,690
Chernobyl.
308
00:13:59,790 --> 00:14:01,920
Roger, you can't go to Chernobyl!
309
00:14:02,030 --> 00:14:03,360
It's dangerous!
310
00:14:03,460 --> 00:14:06,430
Well, I'd rather die there
than be ignored here!
311
00:14:07,730 --> 00:14:09,030
Hey, Mom.
Heads up...
312
00:14:09,130 --> 00:14:10,700
I hit a cyclist with your car.
313
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:11,700
She's not dead.
314
00:14:11,930 --> 00:14:13,900
I put her in the trunk
until I can come up with a plan.
315
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,100
Just letting you know
where I've been lately.
316
00:14:20,710 --> 00:14:21,754
My whispers.
317
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:23,150
Where are my whispers?
318
00:14:23,250 --> 00:14:24,450
I need my whispers!
319
00:14:24,550 --> 00:14:26,480
I could do them for you, Francine.
320
00:14:26,580 --> 00:14:28,550
You're safe
321
00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:31,050
with Klaus.
322
00:14:31,150 --> 00:14:33,720
No, just stop!
You don't have it!
323
00:14:33,820 --> 00:14:37,090
Yessss, I do.
324
00:14:37,190 --> 00:14:39,090
I drove Roger away!
325
00:14:39,190 --> 00:14:40,500
He left!
326
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,600
I drove him to the airport,
and then he left!
327
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:45,309
Well, you could go after him.
328
00:14:45,370 --> 00:14:48,440
According to his Insta,
he's made it to Chernobyl.
329
00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:50,440
Oh, no!
We've got to save him!
330
00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:52,740
The radiation's gonna
make him sick!
331
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:55,240
It's already making him thirsty.
332
00:14:55,340 --> 00:14:57,810
What the hell,
I'll give him a little sip.
333
00:15:04,350 --> 00:15:06,620
What the hell am I doing here?
334
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,660
- Was this stupid?
- Yes.
335
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,760
Well, we have to find Roger.
336
00:15:10,860 --> 00:15:13,630
According to Ask Jeeves,
we have five hours
337
00:15:13,730 --> 00:15:17,370
before the radiation turns us
into walkin'-talkin' tumors.
338
00:15:17,470 --> 00:15:19,330
Five hours 'til I turn
into that fish
339
00:15:19,430 --> 00:15:21,640
from The Simpsons with three eyes.
340
00:15:21,740 --> 00:15:23,370
Do you watch The Simpsons,
Francine?
341
00:15:23,470 --> 00:15:25,270
It's getting good.
342
00:15:25,370 --> 00:15:26,710
And Jennifer's current boyfriend
343
00:15:26,810 --> 00:15:29,610
is also a bartender
at TGI Friday's.
344
00:15:29,710 --> 00:15:32,280
So either she's got a type
or she can't walk away
345
00:15:32,380 --> 00:15:34,220
from free Jack Daniel's
Shrimp and Grits.
346
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:37,320
That is fine, but you have
very little time to live.
347
00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:40,060
The radiation has already
eaten away your nose and ears.
348
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,790
Well, you look like a banana
with a handle.
349
00:15:42,890 --> 00:15:44,890
Pee-yew!
350
00:15:44,990 --> 00:15:46,860
You been Vladimir Putin in there?
351
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:48,030
What have you done?!
352
00:15:48,130 --> 00:15:49,400
You should be thanking me!
353
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,000
You were just breathing it in!
354
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:52,670
Roger?
355
00:15:52,770 --> 00:15:54,370
Well, look who it is.
356
00:15:54,470 --> 00:15:57,710
The person I was wrong about how
afraid they were of Chernobyl.
357
00:15:57,810 --> 00:16:00,010
I thought I wouldn't see you here.
358
00:16:00,110 --> 00:16:01,810
Roger, you look terrible.
359
00:16:01,910 --> 00:16:03,250
You need to come home.
360
00:16:03,350 --> 00:16:05,680
So you can have my whispers
at your disposal?
361
00:16:05,780 --> 00:16:08,180
Well, you're not gonna like
my whispers anymore!
362
00:16:12,290 --> 00:16:16,260
The radiation has made them
more relaxing than ever!
363
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:18,660
Sleep!
364
00:16:23,870 --> 00:16:26,740
I guess life is coming back
to Chernobyl.
365
00:16:30,610 --> 00:16:33,940
I've heard of a weeping willow,
but a sleeping willow?
366
00:16:43,550 --> 00:16:45,950
There's only
a few more songs left.
367
00:16:46,050 --> 00:16:50,060
Steve's gonna be devastated
when there's no secret admirer.
368
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,230
Did... Did we handle this wrong?
369
00:16:52,330 --> 00:16:53,760
I have an idea!
370
00:16:53,860 --> 00:16:55,030
Hit me with it, Barry.
371
00:16:55,130 --> 00:16:58,470
Maybe if we each got a pole
in our head,
372
00:16:58,570 --> 00:17:01,470
we'd have secret admirers
like Steve!
373
00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:03,740
Okay.
I'm on my own here.
374
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,610
Just gotta break the news to him.
375
00:17:05,710 --> 00:17:07,980
And I'll work on finding poles!
376
00:17:09,580 --> 00:17:11,750
Steve, there's nobody coming.
377
00:17:11,850 --> 00:17:13,280
That love note?
378
00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:14,620
You wrote it yourself.
379
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,050
And I probably don't remember
380
00:17:17,150 --> 00:17:18,550
because I have a pole in my head.
381
00:17:18,650 --> 00:17:19,790
You know about that?!
382
00:17:19,890 --> 00:17:21,260
I tied my bow tie.
383
00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:22,930
Can't do that without a mirror.
384
00:17:23,030 --> 00:17:24,390
So, in a way,
385
00:17:24,490 --> 00:17:26,460
I'm my own secret admirer!
386
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,800
You always have been.
387
00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:32,130
Me, may I have this dance?
388
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:34,770
Yes, me. You may.
389
00:17:41,180 --> 00:17:43,610
I got the poles!
390
00:17:47,380 --> 00:17:50,120
Look!
Barry's doing a new dance!
391
00:17:50,220 --> 00:17:52,760
I call it the Barry!
Everybody do the Barry!
392
00:17:52,850 --> 00:17:54,520
Barry, Barry, Barry
393
00:17:54,620 --> 00:17:56,160
Do the Barry-Barry
394
00:17:56,260 --> 00:17:59,260
He's a fat kid
who's almost fallin' down
395
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:02,100
Lock the doors
until everyone does the Barry.
396
00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:09,000
How long were we out for?
397
00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:10,770
We only have an hour
before we die.
398
00:18:10,870 --> 00:18:13,440
And we don't have any idea
where Roger is.
399
00:18:13,540 --> 00:18:15,380
Maybe he went that way.
400
00:18:18,110 --> 00:18:19,380
But even if we find him,
401
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:21,280
he'll just put us to sleep again.
402
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:24,520
Did you see the movie Bird Box?
403
00:18:24,620 --> 00:18:26,520
It's been on my watch list
for like six months,
404
00:18:26,620 --> 00:18:28,160
but I don't actually
want to watch it.
405
00:18:28,260 --> 00:18:30,160
Well, what if instead
of Sandra Bullock
406
00:18:30,260 --> 00:18:32,230
not being able to see,
407
00:18:32,330 --> 00:18:33,960
she couldn't hear?
408
00:18:34,060 --> 00:18:36,060
That sounds so scary!
409
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:37,530
But like I said,
I haven't seen it,
410
00:18:37,630 --> 00:18:39,070
and I'm probably not going to.
411
00:18:39,170 --> 00:18:42,400
We're gonna have to reach Roger
412
00:18:42,510 --> 00:18:45,670
without our most important sense.
413
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,750
I can't hear where I'm going!
414
00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:52,250
How do deaf people get anywhere?
415
00:18:52,350 --> 00:18:54,250
What, Francine?
Where are you?
416
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:56,820
What the hell?
417
00:18:58,790 --> 00:19:01,590
Gawwww.
Stacked high animals.
418
00:19:01,690 --> 00:19:03,230
This is horrible.
419
00:19:03,330 --> 00:19:05,890
But now I'm getting used to it.
420
00:19:05,990 --> 00:19:07,560
Now it's kind of cute.
421
00:19:19,370 --> 00:19:20,540
What are you doing here?
422
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:21,780
I thought I told you to
423
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,910
sleep!
424
00:19:25,850 --> 00:19:28,020
Wait, why aren't you asleep?
425
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:30,220
Roger, we've gotta go!
426
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:31,850
You're gonna die!
427
00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:32,960
I don't care!
428
00:19:33,050 --> 00:19:35,460
You don't belong here alone!
429
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:39,230
You wouldn't even go
to Souplantation by yourself!
430
00:19:39,330 --> 00:19:41,130
You heard me!
431
00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:42,400
Come on!
432
00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:45,100
You're acting weirder
than those dolphins
433
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:49,540
after they saw Ricki having sex
with that guy at SeaWorld!
434
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,740
Oh, my God.
435
00:19:54,810 --> 00:19:58,080
You were... listening to me
the whole time?
436
00:19:58,180 --> 00:20:00,110
Well, part of the time.
437
00:20:00,220 --> 00:20:01,720
You talk a lot, Roger.
438
00:20:01,820 --> 00:20:03,590
I'm bound to pick up
bits and pieces.
439
00:20:03,690 --> 00:20:05,990
That's so sweet of you,
remembering all that stuff
440
00:20:06,090 --> 00:20:07,560
about people I made up.
441
00:20:08,620 --> 00:20:09,790
Oh, no!
442
00:20:09,890 --> 00:20:11,460
We've gotta get out of here.
443
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:12,730
Klaus is dying!
444
00:20:12,830 --> 00:20:14,260
Or maybe it's too late for him,
445
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:15,900
but we have a little time.
446
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,400
Because there's a brunch place
I'd like to try out.
447
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:19,830
Although it might not be open.
448
00:20:19,940 --> 00:20:22,600
A lot of stuff closed after the...
449
00:20:22,710 --> 00:20:24,910
nuclear unpleasantness.
450
00:20:27,580 --> 00:20:30,280
I'm sorry I used you
for your noises.
451
00:20:30,380 --> 00:20:32,250
I know I'm supposed to be
your best friend,
452
00:20:32,350 --> 00:20:34,520
but I wasn't acting like it.
453
00:20:34,620 --> 00:20:37,850
Well, you did face your fear
of death to come bring me home.
454
00:20:37,950 --> 00:20:39,960
That's true.
455
00:20:40,050 --> 00:20:43,290
Let's celebrate our friendship
by doing The Barry!
456
00:20:43,390 --> 00:20:45,030
Barry, Barry, Barry
457
00:20:45,130 --> 00:20:46,530
Do the Barry-Barry
458
00:20:46,630 --> 00:20:49,600
He's a fat kid
who's almost fallin' down
459
00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:50,930
The Barry?
460
00:20:51,030 --> 00:20:52,940
The radiation is
driving them insane.
461
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,200
I'm with you, brother.
462
00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:55,600
These people are nuts.
463
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:56,970
But I've got your back.
464
00:20:57,070 --> 00:20:58,370
I am your back!
465
00:21:02,210 --> 00:21:04,150
Have a great night!
466
00:21:06,210 --> 00:21:08,150
...Captions by VITAC...