1
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早安,美國

2
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我有預感今天會是美好的一天

3
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太陽高掛,陽光普照

4
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:16,934
它向美國民眾打招呼

5
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哦,說得好

6
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早安,美國

7
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{\an8}早安,美國

8
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你很酷

9
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跟小黃瓜一樣酷

10
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小黃瓜無欲無求

11
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無所畏懼

12
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:41,750
超級淡定

13
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大家快過來!

14
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史蒂夫不知道在幹嘛!

15
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我在為蘭利教會嘉年華做準備

16
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{\an8}信不信由你,因為我從沒去過這個園遊會

17
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{\an8}我是第一次聽說,不過你還沒準備好

18
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{\an8}教會嘉年華是暑假最後一個社交活動

19
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{\an8}這是在開學前重新改造自己的機會

20
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:01,103
{\an8}那你的新形象是...

21
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{\an8}你剛說什麼?醃黃瓜?

22
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{\an8}過去的史蒂夫會被你的毒舌傷到

23
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{\an8}但全新的我瀟灑得很

24
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{\an8}我一直很有耐心

25
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{\an8}現在請告訴我這皮帶是怎樣

26
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,990
{\an8}這是全新的我的亮點

27
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{\an8}讓我充滿跟小黃瓜一樣的自信

28
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{\an8}它確實是所有老二狀食物中最有自信的

29
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{\an8}準備好沒,史蒂夫?

30
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{\an8}我好喜歡新的編織皮帶

31
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{\an8}你們也要去那個園遊會?

32
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{\an8}是嘉年華,沒錯

33
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{\an8}這是在學年之前

34
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{\an8}重塑自我的絕佳機會

35
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{\an8}如果順利的話

36
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{\an8}有時候會出差錯?

37
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{\an8}海莉去年暑假的嘉年華糟透了

38
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{\an8}一整年都毀了

39
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{\an8}她在兒童動物園
跟山羊發展出不健康的關係

40
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{\an8}他們抓到她

41
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{\an8}試圖引誘牠到流動廁所

42
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{\an8}你們又在說那隻羊嗎?別再提了!

43
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{\an8}妳把大家嚇壞了

44
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牠需要獨處!跟我獨處!

45
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這個園遊會聽起來棒極了

46
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大家快上車

47
00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:01,747
嘉年華幾個小時後才開始

48
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:04,958
我學到好多關於這個園遊會的事!

49
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(蘭利教堂嘉年華
不准把山羊帶進廁所)

50
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我辦不到,我不該穿這件亨利衫的

51
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:13,467
這根本是胸肌大放送

52
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妳老實說是不是太放蕩了?

53
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老實說?對

54
00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:19,056
但放蕩到讓人心癢癢

55
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我還覺得我的唇色太大膽了

56
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,353
- 這...
- 很完美嗎?沒錯

57
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:27,314
妳那嘴唇很像巴黎人或是機車女郎

58
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我等不及要看這張嘴

59
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大口吞下炸醃黃瓜了

60
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史坦!

61
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:37,407
好了,我看了16個小時的網路影片

62
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學會該怎麼破解所有黑箱遊戲了

63
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那些黑心攤販爽太久了

64
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我會度過正常的時光

65
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我絕對不會靠近流動廁所

66
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或是兒童動物園

67
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你不要再唸了

68
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能不能忘了山羊的事?我早就忘了

69
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{\an8}我敢說牠也認不出我了,我變了很多

70
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{\an8}(山羊飼料)

71
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{\an8}牠也長大了嗎?我不在乎!

72
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{\an8}我也是小黃瓜酷哥了
等等,我搶了史蒂夫的人設嗎?

73
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{\an8}反正我也走小黃瓜酷哥路線

74
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(射擊場)

75
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史蒂夫,好棒的皮帶

76
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謝謝!你的佛朗明哥吉他指甲也很不賴

77
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這個?不是,我的新形象是古柯鹼毒蟲

78
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,240
那我們要先做什麼?

79
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:21,952
去玩遊樂設施?搭訕女生?熟女?

80
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,204
今年的我超級淡定

81
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:27,624
我連大孩子的遊樂設施都願意嘗試

82
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- 你確定嗎?
- 隆斯丁,看看我的皮帶

83
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新的史蒂夫什麼都不怕

84
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,840
好極了,因為今年有新的遊樂設施

85
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,883
聽說超級刺激

86
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是嗎?

87
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:41,054
撒旦怒焰

88
00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:46,393
(撒旦怒焰)

89
00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:49,312
好酷喔

90
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,106
但急什麼,對吧?

91
00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:53,066
我們先去吃漏斗蛋糕...

92
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,443
別打自己了!

93
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,822
史蒂夫!救我!

94
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:03,160
史密斯!我正在想我要怎麼用這個打你

95
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,163
我去年在漏斗蛋糕裡吃到蟋蟀腿

96
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,330
我們去玩遊樂設施吧

97
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:08,498
那比利呢?

98
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,460
比利搞不好才是惡霸,我們太晚來了

99
00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,503
訣竅就是繞著...

100
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- 嘿,小心點!
- 贏家出爐了!

101
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,216
我才不是獲勝獎品!

102
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:19,926
救命!這是金魚販賣!

103
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我要被賣去當性奴了

104
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- 等等,你要把我當性奴嗎?
- 不是

105
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,974
好吧,快點救救我!

106
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最棒的是
這甚至不是遊樂設施建築師建造的

107
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,732
那是誰建造的?

108
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:39,112
某個男的,他建好後被關進精神病院

109
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:41,615
零件都掉下來了,那樣對嗎?

110
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沒人知道

111
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所以才刺激啊

112
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站到秤上來,小子

113
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還有一件事

114
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這沒有身高限制

115
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只有體重限制

116
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那傢伙完全瘋了

117
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,715
如果體重不足會怎樣?

118
00:04:58,799 --> 00:04:59,883
你會飛出去

119
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,514
他不夠重

120
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,140
但東芝比我還矮

121
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,725
為了要玩這個

122
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,185
我兩個月沒大便了

123
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:11,978
我沒辦法玩

124
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:14,314
我沒辦法玩!

125
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,900
好好享受吧,兄弟們

126
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,319
我要去鏡子迷宮冷靜一下

127
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:24,199
嗨,我現在才知道有這種活動

128
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:26,493
不過我很喜歡你們這些嘉年華員工的作風

129
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,036
在光天化日下吸毒

130
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:30,705
牙齒搖搖欲墜,在乾草堆打野戰

131
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,374
我想加入,我什麼都願意做!

132
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你被錄取了

133
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,460
太棒了!

134
00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:37,087
我想先請兩週的假

135
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,422
(魔鏡)

136
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嗨,大塊頭,還真是驚險

137
00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:46,388
撒旦怒焰真是飛來橫禍

138
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:50,100
害怕沒關係,你還是小黃瓜之王

139
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:54,604
默茲!

140
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:58,650
我這是撞見哪個弱雞了啊?

141
00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:05,073
糟糕,我控制不了自己!
我一看到這麼脆弱的膽小鬼

142
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:07,742
我的身體就有想欺負人的衝動!

143
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,411
你有本事抓到真正的我就試試看

144
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,663
我對這個地方瞭如...

145
00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:13,874
真令人興奮

146
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:16,668
不知道我的身體會對你做什麼

147
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:19,379
我知道我的權利!

148
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:21,464
我可以對山羊唱歌!

149
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,550
你是小黃瓜!

150
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:26,094
他不能搭,他會飛出去

151
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:31,099
媽啊,歡迎來到地獄,小子

152
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:33,393
不,拜託!誰來阻止他!

153
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,442
你在做什麼?

154
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:42,527
我說過我不知道!

155
00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:46,489
但不管發生什麼事
都是你的錯,小黃瓜之王

156
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,180
史蒂夫!我抓住你了!

157
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,848
{\an8}接下來在《葛瑞格吃好料》

158
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,851
{\an8}我要試吃有名的回鍋炸玉米熱狗

159
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:15,935
{\an8}(新聞快報)

160
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,438
真正的新聞!

161
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,940
還是在嘉年華!我這個學年不用愁了!

162
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,159
你死定了

163
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:32,494
大家都看到了

164
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:35,330
攻擊、謀殺未遂,還有最糟糕的

165
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:37,374
欺騙無辜的嘉年華員工!

166
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,501
我知道你的身體接下來會做什麼

167
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:40,919
直接去坐牢!

168
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,342
{\an8}我們來訪問一下這位英雄

169
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:50,512
{\an8}- 等一下
- 他就是沒等一下才抓住你!

170
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,597
{\an8}你在上面時在想什麼?

171
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,724
{\an8}沒什麼,我下意識就做了

172
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,059
{\an8}真激勵人心的話語

173
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:58,353
{\an8}而關於我的新消息是我戴了波洛領帶

174
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:02,357
{\an8}(珍珠貝利中學)

175
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,858
{\an8}(請還給我們)

176
00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:08,905
在撒旦怒焰的最高點
默茲,如此沉著又冷靜

177
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:14,244
史蒂夫,那啜泣的書呆子
連嘉年華的奇蹟都救不了他

178
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:17,330
穿著粉紅愛心四角褲,就像卡通裡的船長

179
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:19,457
褲子被鱷魚咬了一個洞

180
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:21,710
我不喜歡他對我的描述

181
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,253
我得告訴大家事實

182
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,546
默茲不是英雄

183
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:26,923
我會搭上那個死亡陷阱都是他的錯!

184
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:31,970
- 怎樣?
- 可是他救了你一命

185
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:36,641
你現在批評默茲
大家可能會覺得你不知感恩

186
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:39,936
真要說的話,很不酷

187
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,439
我們從小就被他欺負!

188
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,941
巴瑞,他把你的胸部用強力膠黏起來

189
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,276
害你得動手術!

190
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,360
我們知道

191
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:50,822
但巴瑞是對的,你就讓這件事過去吧

192
00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:53,783
往好處想,他今天都沒欺負我們

193
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:56,202
說得也是,我確實不想念每次開學

194
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:57,662
他用碰股溝的手指戳我耳朵

195
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:58,955
也許你說得對

196
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,291
也許幾天後大家就會忘了這件事

197
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,168
{\an8}(幾天後)

198
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:08,131
{\an8}城市鑰匙是蘭利福爾斯
能給予市民的最大榮耀

199
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:11,593
但事實上,這開不了什麼門

200
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:14,596
我發現鑰匙孔都不夠大

201
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:18,641
默茲,我們將這把鑰匙頒給你

202
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:23,438
謝謝你讓我不需要因為有人死了
而取消嘉年華

203
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:24,564
謝謝

204
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:27,442
但事實是,我不是英雄

205
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,402
這是英雄會說的話!

206
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,988
我做過很多不光彩的事

207
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:35,492
我以前會欺負弱小,尤其是史蒂夫

208
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,660
鄭重聲明,那是以前的史蒂夫

209
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:40,413
請大家看一下我的皮帶...

210
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:44,000
但救了他讓我想要做更多好事

211
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,628
現在我每天起床都很努力

212
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:50,131
成為你們認定我是的好人,謝謝

213
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,802
我本來就不該玩那個遊樂設施的

214
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:56,805
至於另一個男孩,贊恩百貨公司

215
00:09:56,888 --> 00:10:01,309
非常慷慨地捐贈了比較不丟臉的內褲

216
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:04,312
真的是...我的內褲沒問題!

217
00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:07,774
才怪,那種內褲只有愚蠢的船長

218
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:11,444
就是褲子會被飢餓的鱷魚
扯破的船長才會穿

219
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:12,654
我看過那部電影!

220
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,531
那叫什麼?

221
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:15,907
我們舞台邊見

222
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:17,325
其他人回家吧

223
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,119
范星,妳的妝都花了

224
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:22,330
大家會以為我們沒出現是因為在車上做愛

225
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:24,707
尤其是看到我們做愛的人

226
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:25,917
我們可以走了嗎?

227
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,670
默茲!我們一直找不到機會好好感謝你

228
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,130
感謝你救了史蒂夫

229
00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:32,298
我想跟你握手,但我還沒洗手

230
00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:35,385
我...剛做了很酷的事

231
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,387
你今天晚上有空嗎?

232
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,681
我本來想待在家

233
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:42,684
- 真可惜,他很忙,走吧
- 來我們家吃晚餐吧

234
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,144
這是我們起碼能做的

235
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:47,063
好啊,謝謝!

236
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:51,151
爸,不要!他有一次的歷史報告

237
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:54,154
全在講上媽媽的傳統

238
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:57,407
太好了!你從來不想聊我感興趣的事

239
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:03,288
默茲,現在你是名人了
有嘗到什麼甜頭嗎?

240
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,373
我敢說名流交友軟體肯定會接受你

241
00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:07,125
大家都很慷慨

242
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:10,795
兒童動物園說我可以選任何我想養的動物

243
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,340
你選了什麼動物?

244
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,009
可以給我一張餐巾紙嗎?

245
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:17,677
一隻迷你豬

246
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,388
我看不出這傢伙有什麼了不起的

247
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:24,309
好了!默茲差不多該回家休息了

248
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:25,476
辦不到

249
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:28,271
我不會把這些盤子丟給你們洗

250
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:29,480
這是我負責的

251
00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:30,565
從什麼時候開始的?

252
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,358
他想洗碗就讓他洗

253
00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:35,528
我把焗烤盤弄到燒焦了,需要英雄幫忙

254
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:39,490
好,你闖進我家,贏得我家人的青睞

255
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:40,783
恭喜

256
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,994
現在你可以用來打擊我了

257
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,162
這就是計畫,對吧?

258
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:46,039
沒有什麼計畫,史蒂夫

259
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,790
也許是上帝的計畫

260
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,710
那個遊樂設施讓我脫胎換骨

261
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,338
我說的不只是手肘脫臼

262
00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:54,756
我才不相信

263
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,966
我才不要下半輩子都欠你人情

264
00:11:57,050 --> 00:12:00,011
你可是把我的頭按到你拉了屎的水箱裡

265
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:04,098
史蒂夫,你不明白,是我欠你人情

266
00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:07,227
這是我這輩子第一次喜歡上自己

267
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:12,065
你救了我,我等不及明天要告訴全世界

268
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:14,150
- 你明天要幹嘛?
- 你沒聽說嗎?

269
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,861
兄弟,我們要上《早安含羞草》!

270
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:20,990
你是說讓全世界知道你的真面目是吧

271
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:24,077
我沒說!但我喜歡你幫我發言

272
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,870
讓我的舌頭休息

273
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,332
妳看,寶貝!我幫妳買了一隻山羊

274
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,042
那是誰?我不認識那隻山羊

275
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:33,336
這是妳喜歡的山羊

276
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:37,924
好喔,我明白這是怎麼回事了

277
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:40,385
「海莉愛山羊,隨便一隻山羊都愛」

278
00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:41,552
是這樣嗎?

279
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:42,929
我不懂

280
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:46,099
是喔,我倒是很清楚

281
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:48,601
我現在漸漸認清你了

282
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:49,978
我做錯了什麼嗎?

283
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:54,274
滾出去,不管你以為這是什麼都給我帶走

284
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:55,358
山羊?

285
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,652
- 傑夫...
- 快走,親愛的

286
00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:01,406
這跟我想的完全不一樣

287
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,658
你到底幹了什麼好事?

288
00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:06,703
別再說了!

289
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,454
(早安含羞草)

290
00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,957
剛剛是我們的「吐了再上」中場休息

291
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,001
由水果條紋口香糖贊助

292
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:14,294
水果條紋口香糖

293
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:17,547
讓你的口氣跟斑馬一樣清新

294
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,842
我們的製作人查理告訴我今天的來賓

295
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:24,304
是嘉年華英雄和他拯救的男孩

296
00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:30,184
告訴我們,你們是不是也很擔心
現在每輛車都是黏土色?

297
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:34,814
沒錯!事實上我什麼都擔心,蘇茲

298
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:37,775
對!你看起來就很愛擔心

299
00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:40,945
被妳發現了!我有點膽小

300
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:44,323
為了變勇敢,我有一個有趣的小習慣

301
00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:47,618
非常真誠又脆弱

302
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:48,911
你們想看嗎?

303
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,790
拜託不要

304
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,294
史蒂芬安妮塔史密斯

305
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:57,628
我的中間名是安妮塔

306
00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,338
你很酷

307
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:02,383
跟又大又硬的小黃瓜一樣酷

308
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,513
淡定又帥氣

309
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:10,475
可能是所有水果中最酷的

310
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:12,894
堪稱小黃瓜之王

311
00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:17,565
- 逮到你了
- 天啊,真抱歉

312
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:19,067
我不知道我為什麼那麼做

313
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,318
不,我也有一股衝動

314
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:23,613
我想...我想把他塞到很窄的地方?

315
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,281
- 教訓他!
- 對!

316
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:27,658
我想教訓他

317
00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,243
教訓他!

318
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:30,870
教訓他!

319
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:35,875
夠了!我不是故意要叫女人閉嘴
但你們眼中的史蒂夫

320
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:39,670
雖然是個弱小的四眼田雞
我卻認為他很有勇氣

321
00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:41,214
願意改變自己

322
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:44,634
到頭來,那不是我們真正想要的嗎?

323
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:49,222
成為更好的自己?更像史蒂夫?

324
00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:53,309
你這王八蛋!

325
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:54,602
我的手臂!

326
00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:58,606
讓他們看看你是個惡霸!

327
00:14:58,689 --> 00:14:59,899
開戰了!

328
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:11,077
隆斯丁的地下室,我的避風港

329
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,161
這只是比喻

330
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:15,623
這裡其實充滿氡氣,待久了是很危險的

331
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,834
你還好嗎?我們看了節目

332
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,752
不好,但我會沒事的

333
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:21,838
謝謝你臨時辦了這個過夜派對

334
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,924
你們可能是唯一沒愛上默茲的人

335
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,425
大家好

336
00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:27,802
抱歉我遲到了

337
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:32,181
披薩大王送了我好多披薩
希望你們不介意我帶了一些來

338
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,475
好吃...好吃!我好胖

339
00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:36,769
你們要我這樣說嗎?

340
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:38,437
你邀請了默茲?

341
00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:42,942
史蒂夫,他在《早安含羞草》上
說了你的好話

342
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:45,027
我認為他是真心的

343
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:48,614
{\an8}你並不是節目上的那種人

344
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:53,619
{\an8}我們想說真正的史蒂夫
會想要有道歉的機會

345
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:54,787
不可能!

346
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:58,291
我才不要向那個混蛋道歉

347
00:15:58,374 --> 00:15:59,458
太過分了,史蒂夫

348
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:03,963
我們一直相信嘉年華是改頭換面的機會

349
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:07,008
你為什麼不能接受默茲也能改變?

350
00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:09,093
因為我沒有改變

351
00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:11,179
我試過了,但我做不到!

352
00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:14,265
如果我做不到,那這個惡霸也沒資格!

353
00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:18,477
你錯了,史蒂夫

354
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:19,687
你確實變了

355
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:20,855
是嗎?

356
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,106
變得更糟!

357
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,112
我把你們的遊戲搞砸了

358
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,530
我先走了

359
00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:31,616
好好享用披薩

360
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,826
不,默茲,留下來

361
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:35,578
史蒂夫,你走吧

362
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,121
我?

363
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:39,540
看看你變成什麼樣子了,史蒂夫

364
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:40,708
出去!

365
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:48,674
默茲,我們都愛你和你愚蠢的斷臂,默茲

366
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:52,136
(潛艇堡訂購中心)

367
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,347
親親我的寶寶,默茲

368
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,182
現在親我,默茲

369
00:16:56,265 --> 00:17:00,978
現在大家一起在史蒂夫的墳墓上親親吧!

370
00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:04,941
史蒂夫!下雨了我很擔心,上車吧

371
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,693
- 別再親大家了!
- 什麼?

372
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,989
下雨了嗎?

373
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:14,200
我愛我的工作!

374
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:15,743
別管我!

375
00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:19,664
我辦不到,如果你發生什麼事
我永遠不會原諒自己

376
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:23,209
要趕快擦乾淨,不然會染色

377
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,962
車上應該有餐巾紙

378
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,047
聽著,也許你變了

379
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,091
也許你完全變了一個人

380
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,718
但這並不能改變我恨你的事實

381
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:35,471
我恨我的下半輩子

382
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:36,764
都只是被你救了的人

383
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,101
回到座位上!

384
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:42,687
快要可以繼續看路了

385
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:44,522
我的眼藥水在哪裡?

386
00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:55,700
真是...

387
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,373
爸?

388
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:04,375
史蒂夫!我們好擔心

389
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,377
你沒穿衣服嗎?

390
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:09,046
對,你媽喜歡我這樣

391
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:11,257
我的手臂,我不能...

392
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,301
不能相信我擁有我要的山羊了嗎?

393
00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:15,386
我相信,我一直相信

394
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,888
現在沒人懂也無所謂了

395
00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:20,975
- 我有點懂了
- 真的嗎,傑夫?

396
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:22,768
你懂了什麼?

397
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,524
別同情他

398
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,192
他老是這樣!

399
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,403
我放棄在嘉年華工作了

400
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:34,488
其實我是因為衛生問題被炒魷魚了

401
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:38,034
嘉年華太一板一眼了
我想找更適合我的地方

402
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,161
那是克勞司嗎?

403
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:43,414
時機很重要,在塞爾吉塞住過濾器時

404
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:47,710
我會打開窗戶
讓貝絲把皮耶拋出去,重獲自由

405
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:52,632
天啊,各位!那是我的家人!
帶我離開這裡!

406
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:55,843
你可以走了嗎?你好像在忙

407
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:58,763
是小丑魚的逃脫計畫
沒關係,少了我也沒差

408
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:03,309
太好了,你醒了

409
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:04,977
你很幸運能活下來

410
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:08,189
多虧某個英雄及時把你帶到醫院

411
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:09,398
不會吧

412
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,069
糟糕,拉錯窗簾了

413
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,363
貨車司機的狀況很糟

414
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,825
幸好默茲的血型跟你匹配

415
00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:21,827
好了,各位,探視時間結束了

416
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:22,995
史蒂夫需要休息

417
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:28,084
默茲,你想做什麼都可以

418
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:31,379
結束後到停車場來,我們來呼麻

419
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,049
他們給我這個果凍,因為我捐了血

420
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:37,426
我想你比我更需要

421
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:40,137
我身上有湯匙

422
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:42,598
我想我欠你一個道歉

423
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,600
你真的變了...

424
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:45,935
你拿了我的皮帶?

425
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,562
看來你注意到我的戰利品了

426
00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:51,774
這代表我徹底擊敗你了

427
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:52,858
什麼?

428
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:55,569
我說你改變了我是真的,史密斯

429
00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:59,490
你讓我嘗試了我從沒想像過
全新的折磨手段

430
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:03,077
我稱之為長線霸凌

431
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,578
你根本沒受傷?

432
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:08,749
對啊,這只有你知我知

433
00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:13,671
我救了你一命是為了毀了你,史密斯

434
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,423
找到湯匙了

435
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,259
臭死了

436
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:21,887
{\an8}希望不會讓白葡萄果凍也變超臭

437
00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:23,806
{\an8}畢竟這味道很淡

438
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,599
不!

439
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:29,979
{\an8}(50年後)

440
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,689
{\an8}(蘭利酸福爾斯警局)

441
00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:34,191
你們想見我,警探們?

442
00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:36,861
我們想讓你看個東西

443
00:20:38,696 --> 00:20:40,114
我應該認識他嗎?

444
00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:42,867
這是50年前撞你的貨車司機

445
00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:45,578
讓你變得比我更像機器人的人

446
00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:47,121
我不是骯髒的機器人!

447
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,998
冷靜點

448
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:53,252
透過先進的科技
我們可以對屍體做視網膜掃描

449
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,588
並看到他們所見過的一切

450
00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:56,756
給他看,凱爾

451
00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:04,096
{\an8}我救了你一命是為了毀了你,史密斯

452
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:09,018
{\an8}你抱怨了這麼多年,原來說的都是真的

453
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:12,313
{\an8}代表蘭利酸福爾斯警局

454
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:14,899
{\an8}我們想私下向你道歉

455
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:17,902
{\an8}等等,私下?

456
00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:19,862
{\an8}這段影片不能流出去

457
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:23,574
{\an8}不然會造成全球動盪並威脅到

458
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,868
{\an8}美國總統的名聲

459
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,787
{\an8}默茲總統

460
00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:30,039
{\an8}天啊,我真想買他的皮帶

461
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,249
{\an8}好酷

462
00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:38,214
字幕翻譯:黃煦甯