1 00:00:01,035 --> 00:00:03,404 ♪♪ 2 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:05,406 (studio audience cheering and clapping) 3 00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:08,609 Uhp. Sorry. That's my e-mail notification. 4 00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:10,744 Ooh! Looks like it's official. 5 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,613 You're looking at the newest member 6 00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:15,416 of an exclusive little club known as... 7 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,518 Scientology. 8 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:20,020 - You became a Scientologist? - It wasn't easy. 9 00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:22,390 They did everything they could to discourage me. 10 00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:24,092 Wow. Just think. 11 00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:26,294 You might get to go to Kirstie Alley's funeral! 12 00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:28,896 - (sobbing wildly) - What's wrong? 13 00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:31,599 (sobbing) He's dead! 14 00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:34,268 - Jeff? - No! 15 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,804 Tom Green! 16 00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,906 I just saw on Twitter, and he -- 17 00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:41,542 Oh, Gaww-hoddddd! 18 00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:44,312 (retching) 19 00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:46,247 This is ridiculous. 20 00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:47,815 I'll have to call in sick for work. 21 00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:50,751 What?! Was he your ride or something? 22 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:52,720 Babe! Good news! 23 00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:55,989 Turns out it was just one of his hilarious pranks! 24 00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:58,959 Well, now I feel like a fool! 25 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,895 I won't be able to go to work all week! 26 00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:05,399 (Jeff and Hayley sobbing) 27 00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:07,235 (sighs) 28 00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:09,237 Where did I go wrong, Klaus? 29 00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:11,071 How did Hayley end up as soft 30 00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:14,142 as my prized Toronto Raptors micro fleece throw? 31 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:16,677 And what will become of her if she doesn't toughen up? 32 00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,312 It's time for me to go... 33 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,681 on one of my famous drives. 34 00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:22,583 (studio audience cheering and clapping) 35 00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:26,520 Oh. Look who just got a 30% off coupon 36 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:29,657 for all sectionals at wayfair.com. 37 00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:33,294 Scientology's already working its magic. 38 00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:35,796 (patriotic music plays) 39 00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:38,466 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 40 00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:42,303 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 41 00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:45,506 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 42 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:49,810 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 43 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:55,015 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 44 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,318 - ♪ Good -- ♪ - ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 45 00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:58,652 Aah! 46 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:03,324 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 47 00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:05,459 ♪♪ 48 00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:08,162 STAN: How did Hayley become so weak? 49 00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:10,698 Did I fail her as a father? 50 00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:13,801 Will she be able to take care of herself when I'm gone? 51 00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:15,336 How can I make her tough? 52 00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:16,904 - STAN: Ugh! - (whirring) 53 00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,507 I can't think with all this racket! 54 00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:22,410 I need to go deeper into the countryside. 55 00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:25,078 (tires screech) 56 00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:28,682 (clanging) 57 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:30,651 No more distractions. 58 00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:32,686 At last, my head is clear. 59 00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:33,854 (clanging) 60 00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:36,156 (air hissing) 61 00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:37,391 (gasps) 62 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,660 FARMER: Lost your way, city slicker? 63 00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:43,697 Are you a good hillbilly or a bad hillbilly? 64 00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:46,567 I'm a farmer. And this here's my farm. 65 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,902 Don't worry. We'll get ya unstuck right quick. 66 00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:51,672 (clicking) 67 00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:54,908 (whistles) 68 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,677 Mother. Dan-boy. 69 00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,579 Birthin' the sow'll have to wait. 70 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,114 We got a man here needs our help. 71 00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:02,916 - (squirt!) - (piglet squealing) 72 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,753 Well, let's git to it, then. 73 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:09,290 (all grunting) 74 00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:11,058 Strong. 75 00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:12,893 (all grunting, piglet squealing) 76 00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:14,127 (flesh slices) 77 00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:16,730 Gah! (grunts) 78 00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:20,133 (grunting) 79 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:21,735 Resilient. 80 00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:23,075 (all grunting, piglet squealing) 81 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,538 (bear roars) 82 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:26,240 Raaaah! 83 00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:27,608 (bear roars) 84 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:30,411 Unh! Unh! Unh! Ugh! 85 00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:34,448 Toughness. The very yin to weakness' yang. 86 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:37,451 How did you come to be so strong, so resilient? 87 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:41,322 Well, I reckon farm life just makes ya Farm Tough. 88 00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,291 Farm Tough. 89 00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:45,893 Here. At least let me Venmo you a little barn-dance money 90 00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:47,628 to thank you for your trouble. 91 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:51,299 We don't go in much for electronic doodads and gewgaws. 92 00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:53,767 Keep things a mite simpler out here on the farm. 93 00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:56,103 Thick as rhino skin. 94 00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:59,239 Dan-boy, if it's not too forward of me, may I... 95 00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:00,908 have one of your calluses? 96 00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:03,611 You got a flapper here. I could just give it a little twist. 97 00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:05,913 - I'd prefer you didn't. - I've already got it. 98 00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:07,581 Came right off. Damn. 99 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,917 I bet I could use this thing as a guitar pick! 100 00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:13,421 (imitating electric-guitar riff) 101 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,091 ♪♪ 102 00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:20,528 Callus, callus, show me true. 103 00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,996 Why is Hayley not tough, too? 104 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,498 Hmm. 105 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,133 Not showing me a vision. 106 00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:28,035 Guess I'll just go take a look myself. 107 00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:31,305 (laughter on tablet, devices beeping) 108 00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,006 Of course! Look at them 109 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:36,209 with all their electronic doodads and gewgaws! 110 00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:38,446 No wonder Hayley's as soft as my prized 111 00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:41,949 Merino wool Charlotte Hornets beanie. 112 00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:45,686 ♪♪ 113 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:48,121 (cattle mooing) 114 00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:51,392 There's the vision! Callus, I could kiss you! 115 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,463 FRANCINE: Stan, what are you doing? 116 00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:57,865 Nothing! 117 00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,032 (door slams) 118 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,535 (Italian music plays) 119 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,137 I call this Smith family meeting to order. 120 00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:05,639 (banging) 121 00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:08,476 Hmm. Bread's fresher than usual. 122 00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:11,178 Now, there's no easy way to say this, so here goes. 123 00:05:11,278 --> 00:05:14,181 This family is soft. Especially Hayley. 124 00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:15,883 Actually, that was pretty easy. 125 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,718 - What? - Well, no more. 126 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,488 Ugh! You've still got that thing? 127 00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:23,090 It's time, through hard work and simple living, 128 00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:26,259 for the Smith family to become... Farm Tough. 129 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,228 Oop. Dropped my callus in the baked ziti. 130 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,863 Everybody just be aware. 131 00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:32,766 Anyway, I say we leave our city lives behind 132 00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:34,535 and move to a farm! 133 00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:38,406 Oh, yeah! I'm gonna be the toughest little farm boy ever! 134 00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:41,542 Playing with horsies and moo-moos all day. 135 00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:42,876 Mee-ow! 136 00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:44,745 And my first celebrity crush 137 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,848 was that old farmer in that painting... 138 00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:51,952 (turned on) holding that big-ass pitchfork. 139 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:56,289 A simple farm life, you say? Oh, man, I just don't know. 140 00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:58,025 I think it would be good for us. 141 00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,027 I guess I'm open to being convinced, 142 00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:01,929 but I'm really on the fence here. 143 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,898 - Let's have a vote. - Okay, but I'm still undecided. 144 00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:07,234 All in favor? 145 00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:08,402 Damn it, Hayley! 146 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,303 Per Smith family bylaws, 147 00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:12,973 all family votes must be unanimous. 148 00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:15,409 We know, Kevin! 149 00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,945 Look, I do like the idea of living more sustainably, 150 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,380 but we don't need to move to a farm. 151 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,149 Hey, why don't we try urban homesteading? 152 00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:24,084 That's when people in cities do small-scale 153 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,919 farming in their backyards. 154 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:29,056 (sighs) Fine. All in favor? 155 00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:31,592 (gags) I just swallowed the callus. 156 00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:34,094 ♪♪ 157 00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,096 Okay, so, farming. 158 00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:38,766 Um, we're probably gonna need some dirt, right? 159 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:42,503 Should we... buy it? Or make it? 160 00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:45,138 That's great, sweetie. Let me just scooch ya over here a bit. 161 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,974 You're right in the path of the bulldozer. 162 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,242 Thanks, Dad. And -- In the what of the what, now? 163 00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:52,079 - (screams) - (rumbling) 164 00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:55,415 To get Farm Tough, we're gonna need more room to farm. 165 00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:58,786 Come on! I got overalls for everyone out back! 166 00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:04,492 Whoa! You guys! Come check out this huge pile of worms! 167 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,162 Okay. See ya at the overalls! 168 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,935 ♪♪ 169 00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:17,304 Dad, this is not what we agreed to! 170 00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:19,607 Sure it is. This was your idea, Hayley -- 171 00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:22,109 urban homesteading, farming right in the heart of the city. 172 00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:24,344 Small-scale farming! 173 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,280 Well, if it's small-scale that gets your engine revving, 174 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,617 you're gonna love our new tiny farmhouse. 175 00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:31,985 Come on, everybody. I'll give you the tour. 176 00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,555 How are we gonna sleep? 177 00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:37,991 Not on a stack of 20 downy mattresses, princess. 178 00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:40,561 For the last time, I didn't say, "I felt a pea." 179 00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,663 I said my mattress "smelled like pee." 180 00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:44,498 - I peed the bed. - Anyway, I'll show you 181 00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:46,667 how you'll sleep, 'cause it's bedtime anyway. 182 00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:49,970 We're on farm hours now. Bed by 4:00. Up at 2:00. 183 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,506 - Steve-boy, this is you. - I can't fit in there. 184 00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,374 Just give it a try, Steve-boy. 185 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,876 - Yes, Mother. - Correction. 186 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,477 Now that we're farm folk, 187 00:07:57,578 --> 00:07:59,747 I'm the one who calls my wife "Mother." 188 00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:02,750 Night! (grunting) 189 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:05,252 STEVE: Oh, God! 190 00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:06,920 Roger. 191 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,391 Hayley and Jeff. 192 00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:15,395 And, Mother, if you open up this oil painting 193 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,931 of blond Jesus, there's a cupboard behind. 194 00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:22,670 (Steve gasps) 195 00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,206 Hello! 196 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,342 - (grunts) - Aah! 197 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:30,878 Hi. 198 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,082 Ohh! 199 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:36,850 Stan, this is Amos. 200 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,852 - (grunting) - Hey. 201 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,353 (Hayley gasps) 202 00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:44,592 Amos! It's not what it looks like! 203 00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:47,561 (country fiddle plays) 204 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:50,097 (grunting) Oh, yeah! 205 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,733 I feel myself gettin' tougher already! 206 00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,034 Mornin', neighbor! 207 00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,306 Well, look who it is. 208 00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:01,909 Sun's already almost up, Sleeping Beauty. 209 00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:05,378 I was stuck in the wall fighting off hundreds of tiny spiders! 210 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,480 Oh, yeah, we're raising spiders now, too. 211 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,282 I'm gonna sell 'em to a Spider-Man movie! 212 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,818 Which we'll never see, of course, 213 00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:13,486 because we're foregoing all modern technology. 214 00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:14,988 On pain of shunning? 215 00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,124 Done! We'll need maximum discipline 216 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:19,559 because this homestead must succeed. 217 00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,328 I quit my job and took out a mortgage 218 00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:24,264 with a 39% interest rate to pay for the renovations. 219 00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,634 - You did what?! - The bankers were high-fiving 220 00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,301 while I signed the paperwork. 221 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,771 Looking back, probably should've been a red flag. 222 00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:33,974 Maybe we need to worry less about me becoming Farm Tough 223 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:37,277 and more about you being so Farm Stupid! 224 00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:38,979 (gasps) Shun 'er, Stan! 225 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,181 She talketh back to thee, dude! 226 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,426 Hold up. Wait, though. I want to get this for my TikTok. 227 00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:44,752 (gasps) Gewgaw! 228 00:09:44,852 --> 00:09:47,087 Aw, shit. I'mma get shunned, aren't I? 229 00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:50,357 Roger has violated the rules of the farm. 230 00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,092 He must be shunned. 231 00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:55,595 It was one mistake, and we just came up with the rule. 232 00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,430 Why are you being so hard on him? 233 00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,833 Because modern luxuries make us soft. 234 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,269 Roger, you are shunned. 235 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,641 Whatever. I'm still the most Amish mother-(bleep) here. 236 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,010 (whirring) 237 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,545 ♪♪ 238 00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:13,947 - (beep) - Hey, Stan. 239 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,515 I just want to give you an update 240 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:19,119 on the K-dog's adventures in Scientology. 241 00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:21,989 Long story short, it works! 242 00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:24,224 I had a major personal breakthrough. 243 00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:25,993 I realized... 244 00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:30,163 that Battlefield Earth is a cool movie! 245 00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,299 - (alarms blaring) - Ohp. Gotta go. 246 00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:34,702 They're starting it again, and I don't want to be late 247 00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:38,471 because if you are, they beat you senseless. 248 00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,573 All right. Tell everyone I'm doing great. 249 00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:43,143 Xenu later, alligator! 250 00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,978 (giggles) 251 00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:47,480 ♪♪ 252 00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:51,018 Aaaah! I broke my leg! 253 00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:53,253 Rabbit hole. We got varmints. 254 00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:57,524 That's bad. But the pain'll toughen Steve up. That's good. 255 00:10:57,624 --> 00:11:00,694 Should we all break our legs? Yes! 256 00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,563 Everybody, line up! 257 00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,101 (gasps) Varmint! 258 00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:11,038 Stop! You don't have to kill it! 259 00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:12,138 Yes, we do, Hayley! 260 00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:14,674 Varmints suck the very lifeblood out of a farm. 261 00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:17,510 Rabbits, termites, orangutans. 262 00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,412 The only good varmint is... 263 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:20,613 A dead varmint? 264 00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:22,449 No! A rock-'n'-roll gopher, 265 00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:25,285 like that zany little troublemaker from Caddyshack. 266 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:28,355 We can keep it away from our crops without killing it. 267 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:30,891 I'm gonna go release it in the woods at the end of the block. 268 00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:34,427 Hayley, how are you still so far from being Farm Tough? 269 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,264 Dan-boy will never accept my dowry if you're this soft. 270 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,932 I'm already married to Jeff! 271 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:42,535 (gasps) But I promised Dan-boy a brawny virgin! 272 00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:49,276 Oh, no. Your leg is broken. 273 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,644 (owl hooting) 274 00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,416 (wolves snarling) 275 00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:57,751 (owl hooting, rifle cocks) 276 00:11:57,851 --> 00:11:58,851 (wolf snarling) 277 00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,821 (owl hoots) 278 00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:05,759 Sorry, little guy. This is gonna hurt a bit. 279 00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:07,460 (ominous chords strike) 280 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,963 STAN: Suppertime! 281 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,631 (clicking) 282 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:18,005 Uh, that's it? But, Pa, I'm so hungry. 283 00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:20,216 Well, if you're thinking about sneakin' extra carrots, 284 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,942 you are gunnin' for a shunnin'. 285 00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:24,144 You know the rules -- no electric stuff, 286 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,513 no extra food, no creature comforts. 287 00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:30,150 (turned on) So strict, so strong. 288 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:34,121 Why don't you join old Mother Hubbard in her cupboard 289 00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:37,457 and give this creature a little comfort? 290 00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:38,859 (blows) 291 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,094 Yes, ma'am! 292 00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:45,698 (Stan moaning, Francine giggling and moaning) 293 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,267 I'm gonna have my carrot outside. 294 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:48,802 Wait! Take me with you! 295 00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:50,137 - (bone cracks) - Unh! 296 00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:51,471 STAN: Mother, may I? 297 00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,206 FRANCINE: Ohh, you may! 298 00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:56,609 STAN (grunting): Ohh. 299 00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,712 ♪♪ 300 00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:01,614 Looks like you're all healed up! 301 00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:07,154 See? How much trouble could one widdle shbunny-shmunchkin 302 00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:10,057 like you cause, anyway? 303 00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:11,558 (crunching) 304 00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:19,833 (grunting and giggling) 305 00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:23,971 BUNNY (grunting): Ehh. 306 00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:25,805 This is all my fault. 307 00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:28,741 I... coddled a varmint. 308 00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:30,210 Well, with no carrots to sell, 309 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,545 it's only a matter of time before we lose the farm. 310 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,747 I've heard tell of a man six counties over 311 00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:36,183 might buy our goat. 312 00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:39,652 If I don't make it back, tell your mother... 313 00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:42,189 sorry I busted my nut so quick. 314 00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:43,723 She'll know what it means. 315 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,192 Let me try to make this right. 316 00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:46,836 There's still time to re-plant and harvest 317 00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:49,262 - the crops before winter. - You can try. 318 00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:50,763 But with Steve-boy lame, 319 00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:54,101 Jeff-boy sick with TB and Mother-boy tending to him, 320 00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:57,204 you'll have to do it all on your own, Hayley-boy. 321 00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:01,008 ♪♪ 322 00:14:01,108 --> 00:14:03,676 (crunching) 323 00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:07,114 ♪♪ 324 00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:08,581 (gunshot) 325 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,118 (grunting) 326 00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:16,789 ♪♪ 327 00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:22,562 ♪♪ 328 00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:26,266 (screaming) 329 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,268 (thunder crashes) 330 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,537 ♪♪ 331 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:31,972 I did it. 332 00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,442 - (music thumping) - ♪ Boy ♪ 333 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:36,776 (music stops) 334 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,378 ♪ There's violence ♪ 335 00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:41,548 ♪ And and a-lots of work to be done ♪ 336 00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:42,782 ♪♪ 337 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:46,486 ♪ No place to hang out our washing ♪ 338 00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:50,090 ♪ And and I can't blame all on the sun, oh, no ♪ 339 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:54,661 ♪ I love my secret room of electric stuff and food ♪ 340 00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:57,464 ♪ And all my creature comforts ♪ 341 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:58,665 PEPPY ROBOT: Time extension. 342 00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:00,567 You've been sneaking down here 343 00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:02,802 since the very first day, haven't you?! 344 00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:05,138 Breaking all your own stupid rules! 345 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,473 Hey, this has always been 346 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,641 about making you Farm Tough. Not me. 347 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:12,112 Well, guess what. I have become tough. 348 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:13,580 Tough enough to know you can't show 349 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,183 a varmint like you any mercy. 350 00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:19,019 So, Dad, you are... 351 00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:20,954 shunned! 352 00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:24,824 Well, at least let me go back for my digital cocktail scale 353 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,160 that I -- Gah! 354 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,829 Smiths! What's the good word? 355 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:32,665 Movin' right along! 356 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,703 ♪♪ 357 00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:38,771 (crunching) 358 00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:41,341 You must really miss your family, huh, Stan? 359 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,676 Think you'll be able to go back soon? 360 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,813 Hoo, wouldn't bet on it. Shunning's serious business. 361 00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:49,316 But on the bright side, I succeeded in my goal. 362 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:52,452 Hayley is tougher than a thousand Jason Momoas. 363 00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:56,123 By the way, I accidentally ordered nine pornos last night. 364 00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:06,066 Sometimes it's crazy what great parenting looks like. 365 00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:08,535 - Closer than you might think! - What? 366 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,470 Oh. Oh, I thought maybe you just said, 367 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,305 "I wonder where Roger is right now." 368 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,741 - Nope. - Well, here I am anyway. 369 00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,009 Yeah, after you shunned me, 370 00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,644 I kind of fell in with the varmints. 371 00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,312 Got any vegetables going here? 372 00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:21,314 Too risky over at the old Smith farm, 373 00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:22,915 ever since Hayley took over. 374 00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:24,984 Yep, she's tough as nails. 375 00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:26,929 I don't know, Stan. Maybe you should take a look 376 00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:29,556 at what being tough has really done to her. 377 00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:32,225 (spits) 378 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,594 (spits) 379 00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:37,730 H-Hayley? 380 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:41,434 I was wonderin', since the harvest come in so good, 381 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:44,871 maybe we could afford to call a doctor for Jeff-boy? 382 00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:47,107 He's in a bad way. 383 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:51,344 (spits) Ya don't waste a bone on a dyin' dog, woman. 384 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,914 (rock-'n'-roll music plays) 385 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:55,915 (gasps) 386 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,684 ♪♪ 387 00:16:57,784 --> 00:17:00,553 - (gasps) - Set a pot to boil. 388 00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:02,589 And I don't wanna hear another word outta you, 389 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,257 or you're goin' in the box. 390 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,926 But Steve-boy's already in the box. 391 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,928 I can make another box. 392 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,231 STEVE: When can I come out the box, sister? 393 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:14,301 I said no talkin' in there! Punishment increased! 394 00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:15,935 (possum snarling) 395 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,239 (Steve screaming) 396 00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:21,908 (Jeff coughing) 397 00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:23,943 Ugh. Jeff-boy. 398 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,979 Time to take that dyin' dog to the woods 399 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,649 what he don't attract critters when he croaks. 400 00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:32,219 (door opens and closes) 401 00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:33,653 (weakly) Whoa. 402 00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:37,490 This takes me back to our wedding night, babe. 403 00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,092 Ohh. 404 00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:43,596 I'm gonna give it to you so good. 405 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:47,467 The farm has made Hayley too tough. 406 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:51,271 So, to get the old Hayley back, we gotta take that farm down. 407 00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:54,574 - What are you thinking? - Good old-fashioned sabotage. 408 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,909 Varmint sabotage? 409 00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:58,411 TOGETHER: Rabbitage! 410 00:17:58,511 --> 00:17:59,511 Let's do it! 411 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,681 And do we contact Weird Al's people, 412 00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:04,684 see if he's interested in "Rabbitage" as a song idea, 413 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,486 make ourselves a little scratch? 414 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,855 It'd be pretty cool to collaborate with Weird Al, 415 00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:10,957 but I don't see it happening. 416 00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:14,827 ♪♪ 417 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:21,468 ♪♪ 418 00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:24,937 ♪ IIIII'll nab cabbage and do plant damage ♪ 419 00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,939 ♪ I'mma masticate, the crops I take ♪ 420 00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:29,509 ♪ You can't grow carrots while I'm in here ♪ 421 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:33,813 ♪ Now my bunny ears cause your bunny fears so ♪ 422 00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:36,616 ♪ While you re-seed and wonder why ♪ 423 00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:39,452 ♪ Your farm's in ruins, corn has all died ♪ 424 00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:42,189 ♪ Holes in sod, missing cabb-age ♪ 425 00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:45,124 ♪ I'm tellin' y'all it's rabbitage ♪ 426 00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:47,827 ♪ Listen, all y'all, it's rabbitage ♪ 427 00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:51,198 ♪ Listen, all y'all, it's rabbitage ♪ 428 00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:54,066 ♪ Listen, all y'all, it's rabbitage ♪ 429 00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:56,903 ♪ Listen, all y'all, it's rabbitage ♪ 430 00:18:57,003 --> 00:19:01,474 Varmints! I'm comin' fer you! 431 00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:05,044 ♪ Whoooooooa ♪ 432 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:08,648 ♪ Whoooooooa ♪ 433 00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:10,817 (crunching) 434 00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:15,422 That's right, Stan. I found a way. 435 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,159 (walkie clicks) 436 00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,195 This farm's as good as done for, Roger. 437 00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:23,930 Just be careful of all these traps. 438 00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:25,232 ROGER: Uh, luckily for me, 439 00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:28,201 I'm a bit smarter than an actual rabbit, Stan. 440 00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,903 Would ya look at that? Somebody left a perfectly good 441 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,340 sploop of peanut butter underneath this bucket. 442 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:34,683 - (bucket clangs) - HAYLEY: Varmint! 443 00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:35,908 ROGER: Aah! 444 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,377 (gunshot) 445 00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:43,049 ♪♪ 446 00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:44,016 Aah! 447 00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:45,552 (suspenseful music plays) 448 00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:47,119 - (gun cocks) - Do it, Hayley. 449 00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:49,856 I've been depressed for a good, long while now. 450 00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:52,191 Hayley, stop! Roger, we'll get you help. 451 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,861 Listen. I owe you an apology. 452 00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:56,396 What good is making you tough enough 453 00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:58,598 to take care of yourself if along the way, 454 00:19:58,698 --> 00:19:59,978 you lose everything that made you 455 00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:03,870 such a kind, compassionate, wonderful person to begin with? 456 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:07,274 I miss that Hayley. The soft Hayley. 457 00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:10,910 (softly) Well, I guess... 458 00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:14,381 (sternly) I'll be killin' two varmints today. 459 00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:18,318 - Can't shoot through a blanket! - Get this thang offa me! 460 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:21,053 So got-dang... soft! 461 00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:22,822 And plush, and... 462 00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,425 (music plays, audience cheering) 463 00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:28,795 James Corden. So mildly amusing. 464 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:31,063 (music and cheering continue) 465 00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:35,234 ♪♪ 466 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:38,070 Mm. Creature comforts. 467 00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:41,140 Wow. I guess I got a little carried away, huh? 468 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,609 (Stan and Roger sigh) 469 00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:45,312 I'm just glad to have you back, baby girl, 470 00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:47,246 and that we put everything back to normal 471 00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:49,349 before anybody really got hurt. 472 00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:51,418 So cold. 473 00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:53,620 Jeff! Thank God! 474 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:54,821 They're hunting me, Jeff. 475 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,424 They do not like it when you joke about Xenu. 476 00:20:57,524 --> 00:21:02,128 Or when you wear a wire for Xenu York Times. 477 00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:04,130 Bye! Have a great time!