1
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:05,756
{\an8}It's the grand opening
of Langley's first ever
Grand Grocer,
2
00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:08,092
{\an8}and the stars are out.
3
00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:09,677
{\an8}That's right, Greg.
4
00:00:09,802 --> 00:00:12,304
All the city's top elite
are in attendance.
5
00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:14,682
[Greg] Quiet, Trish.
Mayor Garfield's
about to speak.
6
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:18,060
I inaugurate unto this town
7
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:22,356
a most glorious mercantile
that I understand is to be...
8
00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,067
Racially integrated?
9
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:26,360
[whispering indistinctly]
10
00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:28,612
Let's just cut
the blasted ribbon already
11
00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:31,615
and let in
the kind of despicable
work-shy lunkheads
12
00:00:31,741 --> 00:00:33,909
who attend
a grocery store opening.
13
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:37,913
{\an8}- Grocery store!
Grocery store!
- Whoa! Yeah! Yeah!
14
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,875
[theme song playing]
15
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,753
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
16
00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:47,298
♪ I got a feeling
That it's gonna be
a wonderful day ♪
17
00:00:47,423 --> 00:00:50,092
♪ The sun in the sky
Has a smile on his face ♪
18
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:53,721
♪ And he's shining a salute
To the American race ♪
19
00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:59,810
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
20
00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:02,188
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
21
00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:03,230
[Roger] Ah!
22
00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:08,360
{\an8}[chorus]
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
23
00:01:08,486 --> 00:01:10,446
{\an8}This place has everything.
24
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:11,781
{\an8}It's so smart.
25
00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:13,240
{\an8}People come to get fish.
26
00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:14,867
{\an8}They see the
beautiful fish, right?
27
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,994
{\an8}They're smelling
the big fish smells,
28
00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:18,829
{\an8}listening to the
high-powered sink
29
00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:22,958
{\an8}washing bloody scales
off the thick forearms
of the fish-chopping men.
30
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,794
{\an8}What are they gonna be?
Hungry, right?
31
00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,545
{\an8}I already wanted fish later,
32
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:29,340
{\an8}but now I'm hungry
for fish now.
33
00:01:29,465 --> 00:01:30,424
{\an8}A sushi bar?
34
00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:31,842
{\an8}Right here?
Boom.
35
00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:33,803
{\an8}It's so smart.
36
00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:37,056
{\an8}But what if you drop
a top-quality piece
of yellowtail,
37
00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:39,350
{\an8}dripping in
wasabi-thickened
soy sauce,
38
00:01:39,475 --> 00:01:41,435
{\an8}right on your new
"Life is Good" T-shirt?
39
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:42,895
{\an8}- Oh, no.
- Boom.
40
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,104
{\an8}Dry cleaner right there.
41
00:01:44,230 --> 00:01:46,232
{\an8}[Francine] It's just so smart.
42
00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:48,692
{\an8}Hold up. I gotta nab
a real quick prescription
43
00:01:48,818 --> 00:01:50,903
{\an8}at this convenient as hell
pharmacy. Boom.
44
00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:53,572
{\an8}A climbing wall?
45
00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,199
{\an8}Lure a bunch of
lean climbers in,
46
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:57,952
{\an8}let them grip around
till they're half mad
with hunger,
47
00:01:58,077 --> 00:01:59,787
{\an8}then turn them loose
in a grocery store?
48
00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:02,206
{\an8}It's smart, Francine,
like you've been saying.
49
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:03,916
{\an8}I see you're taking
Liflafluvia.
50
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:05,501
{\an8}Let me go over
some of the side--
51
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,336
{\an8}I've taken Liflafluvia before.
52
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,505
{\an8}I get all the side effects,
every last one.
53
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,758
{\an8}Leg bloat, numb fingers,
ear closure, memory loss,
54
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:16,136
{\an8}phantom tail, and last
but not least, memory loss.
55
00:02:16,262 --> 00:02:18,013
{\an8}Sounds like it's hard
on your body.
56
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,723
{\an8}- What do you
take it for?
- I forget.
57
00:02:19,849 --> 00:02:20,766
{\an8}Wha...
58
00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:22,935
{\an8}No [bleep] way.
59
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,353
{\an8}What are you doing here?
60
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,523
{\an8}- I came to check it out.
- Us too. Insane.
61
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,608
{\an8}When are the three
of us ever together?
62
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:30,860
{\an8}We should get a drink.
63
00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:33,362
{\an8}Aw, too bad we're in
a normal grocery store.
64
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:34,446
{\an8}As if!
65
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,532
{\an8}To the Grand Grocer.
66
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,868
{\an8}What was once
a Korean War memorial
67
00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:40,828
is now finally
something we can use.
68
00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:46,500
Can I say how nice it's been,
69
00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:49,086
coming here every day
this month with you guys?
70
00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:51,714
Klaus has been all over me
about my drinking,
71
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:55,092
and these mid-morning drinks
are really helping me relax.
72
00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:57,094
It's certainly
enriched my life.
73
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,762
Just staring
at the bank
over there
74
00:02:58,888 --> 00:03:02,057
has me this close
to opening my first
checking account.
75
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,602
[Stan] It's an odd duck,
the grocery store bank.
76
00:03:04,727 --> 00:03:08,022
It's a real bank.
Vault, guard,
everything but--
77
00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:11,275
Something always
made me think
it'll be easier to--
78
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,528
Never mind. Must be
the third Midori Sour
before 11:00 a.m. talking.
79
00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:15,738
Easier to rob?
80
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:16,947
Sure, I've thought that too.
81
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:18,866
- You have?
- Yeah, I see it.
82
00:03:18,991 --> 00:03:21,076
All the distraction
of a grocery store
83
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,453
gives the robber good cover.
84
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,706
Totally agree.
Also, I'm hammered.
I need food.
85
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:28,918
These olive bar olives
are mixing nicely
in my stomach
86
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:30,377
with the martini olives.
87
00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:32,671
How would someone
rob the bank,
88
00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:34,590
if they were gonna do it?
89
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,636
You know, for banks,
protocol during a robbery
is not to risk human life.
90
00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:40,679
Guards only shoot
if they see a weapon.
91
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:44,391
Huh. So the worst thing
to bring to a robbery--
92
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:45,643
Is a gun.
93
00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:47,728
Give me all the money
or I shoot.
94
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,396
- You got a gun?
- You bet.
95
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,023
- Let me see it.
- Check it.
96
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:53,859
[grunting comically]
97
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:55,527
Just terrible. Awful.
98
00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:57,237
You know what
isn't awful, though?
99
00:03:58,948 --> 00:04:00,658
The Marcona almonds
they're putting out
at this olive station.
100
00:04:00,783 --> 00:04:01,992
Holy shit.
101
00:04:02,952 --> 00:04:05,245
Okay. So guns wouldn't work.
102
00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:07,539
The real issue is
how to do a robbery
103
00:04:07,665 --> 00:04:09,416
without being identified.
104
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:12,836
Well, if there's one thing
I know, it's disguises.
105
00:04:12,962 --> 00:04:14,964
Hey, sweets.
Long day.
Am I right?
106
00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:16,882
I'm the new
armored truck driver.
107
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,593
We've never met.
I'm here to pick up
the cash. I'm new.
108
00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:21,512
Sure. What's
the 10-digit code?
109
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:22,805
No prob, beautiful.
110
00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:25,265
That 10-digit code
is I got a gun. Here it is.
111
00:04:25,391 --> 00:04:27,017
[grunting comically]
112
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:28,644
Just awful.
113
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,021
That bloodthirsty guard
is a big problem.
114
00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:32,106
Wait. Where is he?
115
00:04:32,231 --> 00:04:33,607
[Roger] It's 12:15.
116
00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:36,110
That's when they put out
the rotisserie chickens.
117
00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:38,404
And he gets one every day.
118
00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:40,489
He gets one every day.
119
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,574
And that's when we'd rob the--
120
00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:43,826
Wait. What am I saying?
121
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,411
I'm a lawman.
122
00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:48,205
To this day,
I'm hot under the collar
about Al Capone's antics.
123
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,790
You gotta relax, Stan.
124
00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,375
No one's robbing anything.
125
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,127
It's just a simple
thought experiment.
126
00:04:53,252 --> 00:04:55,295
Yeah. And here's a thought.
127
00:04:55,421 --> 00:05:00,092
What if you got someone else
to rob the bank for you?
128
00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:02,136
What if you got...
Hear me out.
129
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,221
...a cake to rob the bank?
130
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,224
- [phone ringing]
- They take a lot of
orders over the phone,
131
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,852
and never seem
to give much thought
132
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:11,478
to what people want
written on them.
133
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:13,397
Twenty-four-inch sheet cake.
134
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:14,523
The message?
135
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:15,774
"Sorry, Glen.
136
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:17,484
"You are not the father."
137
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:19,319
You want that
delivered, darling?
138
00:05:19,445 --> 00:05:20,946
They deliver, huh?
139
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,823
The message?
140
00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:26,035
"You're being robbed.
Give me all your money."
141
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,619
You want cursive or print?
142
00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:28,912
My cursive ain't great.
143
00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:33,792
Time for big baby
to get his chicky.
144
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,002
Cake delivery.
145
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,380
Hey, burglars.
146
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:39,882
Where do I put the money?
147
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:40,966
Smoosh it in the cake?
148
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,134
Seems stupid.
149
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,385
We're not stupid.
150
00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:45,763
I think I know
where the money
should go.
151
00:05:45,888 --> 00:05:46,889
Peep this.
152
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,310
[over PA] Janitorial
to kombucha bar.
153
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:52,686
Then you can call in,
154
00:05:54,063 --> 00:05:55,105
access the PA
without even being
in the store.
155
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,274
But you need the dial-in code.
156
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,650
It's one, four, three.
157
00:05:58,776 --> 00:05:59,693
I saw it.
158
00:06:00,778 --> 00:06:01,904
{\an8}Oh, wow.
159
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,906
So, it could go like this.
160
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,741
"This is a robbery.
161
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,743
"Put the money
in your waste basket,
162
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,578
then lock yourself
in the vault."
163
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,080
Wait a second.
164
00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:12,289
That's 68 letters.
165
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:13,582
You're gonna need
a bigger cake.
166
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,918
[♪ quirky thrilling
music playing]
167
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,882
[over PA]
Waste basket full
at bank counter.
168
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,259
Janitorial to
bank counter, please.
169
00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:31,850
Then we grab the money
from that dumpster
170
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,519
and walk out through
the loading dock.
171
00:06:33,644 --> 00:06:35,938
No. There's cameras outside.
172
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,523
- Excuse me.
- Go around me.
173
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,775
No cameras here.
174
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:43,529
What if we hid the cash
in a bag of flour,
175
00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:46,406
then put it in that
reshelving area?
176
00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:48,492
Then it'd go back
on the shelves,
177
00:06:49,827 --> 00:06:52,246
and using a burner phone...
178
00:06:52,371 --> 00:06:53,997
[Roger] Ooh, burner phone.
179
00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:56,917
[Francine] ...we order
an InstoShopper to pick it up
180
00:06:57,042 --> 00:07:00,337
and they deliver
the money right to us.
181
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,214
We'll have to be
in the bathroom
182
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,133
to put the money in the flour.
183
00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:06,969
But the only people
doing things on camera
184
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,470
would be the baker,
185
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,806
the janitor, the reshelver
186
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,266
and the InstoShopper.
187
00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:14,935
{\an8}And after the InstoShopper
delivered the cash,
188
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,812
{\an8}we could change
his tip to zero.
189
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:17,896
{\an8}Double heist.
190
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,481
Did we think of everything?
191
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,316
Maybe.
192
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:24,153
Look, they're not
responding to emails
or phone calls
193
00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:25,571
for what seems like years.
194
00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:28,782
I think we have to face
the very real possibility
195
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:31,451
that Mah Mah
and Bah Bah
have died.
196
00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:34,538
Oh, no. Dye packs.
197
00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:36,957
The teller's put dye packs
in with the money.
198
00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:38,792
[♪ quirky thrilling
music playing]
199
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,252
- [tires screeching]
- [sirens chirping]
200
00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:42,754
[sobbing]
201
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:43,964
Where'd they go?
202
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:45,174
Bah Bah...
203
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:46,884
The dye packs are activated
204
00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:48,594
by a battery-powered
transmitter.
205
00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:50,554
If the money gets
too far from the bank,
206
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:51,805
it explodes.
207
00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:53,348
Try to tamper
with the dye pack,
208
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,433
it explodes.
209
00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:56,059
How long does
the battery last?
210
00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:57,144
Top of my head?
211
00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:59,021
504 hours. Three weeks.
212
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:03,609
So if the money doesn't move,
the dye pack won't explode?
213
00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:06,278
What if the dye packs
weren't a problem?
214
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,988
What if they were
the solution?
215
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,072
Listen.
216
00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:11,200
Even if we could
get away with it,
217
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,994
the cops would still be
looking for the money.
218
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:16,163
But you know
the kind of
stolen money
219
00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:17,372
no one looks for?
220
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,166
Greek money?
221
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,542
The kind of money
222
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,086
they think they've
already found.
223
00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:26,632
I put the real money
in the rice.
224
00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:27,966
And in the flour--
225
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,551
[Stan] Counterfeit money.
226
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:30,886
Counterfeit dye.
227
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,096
[♪ quirky thrilling
music playing]
228
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:38,852
- [tires screeching]
- [sirens chirping]
229
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:42,272
- [cameras clicking]
- A rather ingenious
plan foiled.
230
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,107
{\an8}Money destroyed
but accounted for.
231
00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:45,234
Case closed.
232
00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:47,152
[beeping]
233
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:49,196
{\an8}[♪ quirky thrilling
music continues]
234
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:56,662
[Stan]
And then we bring
the money here,
235
00:08:56,787 --> 00:08:58,622
to this beautiful nearby hill.
236
00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,290
It doesn't have to
be in the plan,
237
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:01,959
but I'd really like it to be.
238
00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:04,378
{\an8}My only loose end,
and I mean only,
239
00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:06,088
{\an8}is in the three weeks
we'd be waiting,
240
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,965
{\an8}someone will surely
buy the rice.
241
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:09,967
We'd put it in brown rice.
242
00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:11,760
[Francine] The perfect plan.
243
00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,514
So I think we've
all been sleeping
244
00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,099
pretty badly this week.
245
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,183
I'm sleeping great.
246
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:19,476
With those bags
under your eyes?
247
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:21,645
And your lips looking like
sunbaked earthworms?
248
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:22,854
I don't think so.
249
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,232
If we need someone
to say it, I'll say it.
250
00:09:25,357 --> 00:09:26,608
I think we should
rob the bank.
251
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,694
- Roger, no.
- Absolutely not.
252
00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:30,028
It was a thought experiment.
253
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,989
There's no point
to really robbing the bank.
254
00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:33,115
The plan is the point.
255
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,241
It's perfect.
256
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:35,450
- Maybe--
- No.
257
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:36,952
- Yeah. No. No way.
- Never.
258
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,204
We're not
the kind of people
that rob banks.
259
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,498
And even though
we'd definitely
get away with it,
260
00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,625
we'd always be haunted
by what we'd done.
261
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,210
Would it change your mind
262
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,130
if I told you
I've been thinking of us
as the Three Musketeers?
263
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,590
A bank robbed by a cake?
264
00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:52,259
It's crazy but true.
265
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:54,928
As last night,
at our beloved
Grand Grocer,
266
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,388
an attempted bank robbery
267
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:59,057
began with a demand
written in icing
268
00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:02,769
and ended with an unknowing
InstoShopper covered in dye.
269
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:05,272
Police say it was
an ingenious plan,
270
00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:07,899
but with the money
all blasted up and inky,
271
00:10:08,025 --> 00:10:09,318
it looks like these thieves
272
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:11,278
won't get to have their cake
273
00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:12,946
and steal it too.
274
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,448
[laughing]
275
00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:17,326
Nobody beats the boys in blue.
276
00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:22,247
I can't believe you robbed
the bank without me.
277
00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:23,749
But with Stan to do the phone
278
00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:25,792
and Francine to do
the bathroom switch,
279
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:28,045
it must have been easy
to cut old Roger out.
280
00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,921
Technically, one person
could've done it all
281
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:31,298
with the phone
in the bathroom.
282
00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:33,008
Is that how you did it?
283
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,301
I didn't rob the bank.
284
00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:36,303
Well, I didn't rob the bank.
285
00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:39,389
{\an8}[gasps] That's why no one
wanted to do it when I asked.
286
00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:40,557
{\an8}You'd already done it.
287
00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:43,226
[gasps] That's why
you asked us to do it.
288
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:45,479
So we wouldn't think
you'd already done it.
289
00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:47,439
[gasps] That's why
he gave us coffee.
290
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:49,024
He poisoned the co-- [choking]
291
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,901
{\an8}- [thud]
- I didn't poison
the coffee.
292
00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:52,319
{\an8}And I didn't do the robbery.
293
00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:53,987
{\an8}- Me neither.
- Me neither.
294
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:55,530
{\an8}But we all heard the news.
295
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,324
{\an8}That was the first half
of our plan.
296
00:10:57,449 --> 00:10:59,785
{\an8}Which leaves the second half.
297
00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:02,454
{\an8}How about we go down
to the store right now,
298
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,998
{\an8}check the rice section
for big bags of cash?
299
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,166
Sounds good to me.
300
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,251
How does it sound to you?
To both of you?
301
00:11:08,377 --> 00:11:10,420
[♪ thrilling music playing]
302
00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:14,508
[Roger] Nothing.
303
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,551
So, you moved it, huh?
304
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,721
Pretty cute, Stan
and/or Francine.
305
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,223
You hid it
in the store
somewhere,
306
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:22,933
just waiting out the dye pack.
307
00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:24,267
Stop acting like
it wasn't you.
308
00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:25,435
It's always you.
309
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:27,896
Unless it was you,
my treacherous queen.
310
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,357
I'm the only one
I know isn't lying.
311
00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:31,817
Isn't lying about what?
312
00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:35,028
Isn't lying about my age.
313
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:36,363
I'm 17,
314
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:38,532
so I can't be tried
as an adult.
Who are you?
315
00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:39,908
Detective Turlington.
316
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,202
I'm... investigating
the bank robbery.
317
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:43,286
Oh, really?
318
00:11:43,412 --> 00:11:44,913
And how is that going?
319
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,748
The robbers didn't
get the money.
320
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,917
So it's not...
a high priority.
321
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,210
Makes good sense.
322
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,045
So you think
you have the money?
323
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:53,171
Be quiet, Roger.
324
00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:54,798
You'd like that,
wouldn't you,
you snake?
325
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:57,634
Just saying not everything's
what it seems in this world,
326
00:11:57,759 --> 00:12:00,262
money being real-wise.
327
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:03,014
Roger, that was stupid,
goading Turlington like that.
328
00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:05,183
I'm innocent
and I've nothing to fear.
329
00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:06,643
I didn't do it,
330
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:08,478
but we've got a whiteboard
with the perfect plan on it.
331
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:10,605
And I don't want
the cops involved,
332
00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:13,817
'cause when I figure out
which one of you did this,
333
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:16,361
I'm gonna whap
the top of your foot
with a hammer.
334
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,405
I demand
to search your things.
335
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:19,823
I have nothing to hide.
336
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:22,033
You cool with that, Stan?
337
00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:23,952
Hella cool.
What about you, Roger?
338
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,912
Why, yeah. I have
lots of things to hide.
339
00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:26,997
I'm a real sick ticket.
340
00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:29,583
But I didn't do this.
Search away.
341
00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:31,042
You weren't kidding, Roger.
342
00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:33,962
I saw some truly
horrifying things.
343
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,214
But nothing to link you
to the robbery.
344
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:37,757
And you two checked out.
345
00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,759
Underwear all smells
nice and clean.
346
00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:43,763
Is there a possibility that
maybe none of us did it?
347
00:12:43,889 --> 00:12:46,766
Oh, another team
of absolute hottie geniuses
348
00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,643
figured out the same
perfect robbery?
349
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:49,728
Unlikely.
350
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,730
Someone could have
overheard us.
351
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:53,064
I can be a little shouty.
352
00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:55,400
I miss how it was yesterday.
353
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:56,860
When we were getting along
354
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,613
and not calling each other
snakes all the time.
355
00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,198
Okay. Then let's
erase this board,
356
00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:03,074
in case Turlington
comes poking around.
357
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,535
The Three Musketeers again.
358
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,206
[♪ suspicious music playing]
359
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,041
[all] A burner phone?
360
00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:13,001
- Snakes.
- Betraying snakes.
361
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,211
[hissing]
362
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:16,588
I'm taking this phone
to Turlington right now.
363
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:17,672
How do you like that?
364
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,716
I'm absolutely gaga about it.
365
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:23,220
It's not my phone,
so I like it a lot.
366
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:25,722
[Roger] Don't test me.
Just come clean now.
367
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,266
This is your last chance,
whoever I'm speaking to.
368
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,268
Hot evidence, coming through.
369
00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:32,854
Detective Turlington will be
with you in just a moment.
370
00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:37,943
Oh, someone's hosed.
371
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,778
This phone is
full of evidence.
372
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:42,155
Calls to the bakery
and store intercom.
373
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:43,823
The InstoShopper order.
374
00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,408
Videos of us-- Wait. What?
375
00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:46,785
Liflafluvia.
376
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:48,995
It will wipe our memories
for this whole day.
377
00:13:50,539 --> 00:13:51,414
If we do the job right now
during this window,
378
00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:53,833
Stan won't be haunted
by any pesky guilt.
379
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:56,211
And none of us will be
witnesses to what we did.
380
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:58,922
That's turning
the perfect heist into--
381
00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,924
[Stan and Francine]
The perfect heist.
382
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:02,008
All right, Stan.
383
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:03,385
You place
the cake order, then--
384
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:05,720
Wait. We almost forgot
to take the Liflafluvia.
385
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,599
We all robbed the bank?
386
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:12,060
Oh, almost forgot
the crucial Liflafluvia.
387
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,062
That doesn't prove we did it.
388
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,856
It just looks like
we're getting high
in the basement.
389
00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:18,441
Which is fine, and cool.
390
00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:19,568
There's a second video.
391
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:20,694
God damn it.
392
00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:24,072
We did it! We robbed the bank!
393
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,116
I hear you have... evidence.
394
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,076
Yes. A fingerprint.
395
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,120
A fingerprint? Where is it?
396
00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:32,664
It was on some ice.
397
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:33,915
But it melted.
398
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,001
So... we should go.
399
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:38,253
You're the people
from the rice aisle.
400
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,671
Is eating rice a crime?
401
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,923
You know, we checked the cash.
402
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,426
Turned out it was fake,
as was the dye.
403
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,262
You said something
about that, right?
404
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,847
People say a lot of things
in the rice aisle.
405
00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:49,973
I don't know.
406
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:51,600
I think the cash
is still in the store
407
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:53,935
and the robbers are
waiting for the dye pack
battery to run out.
408
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,063
I think, to me,
409
00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:59,649
that all sounds
like mumbo-jumbo.
Right?
410
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:02,027
- I mean, what?
- Total mambo-jambo.
411
00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,279
We'll let you get back to
your impenetrable forensics,
412
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,698
you everyday hero.
413
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:10,076
{\an8}If you're watching this, us,
you just pulled it off.
414
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:12,912
{\an8}All you have to do
is go to Grand Grocer
to pick up the cash
415
00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:14,039
{\an8}when the battery dies.
416
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:15,582
{\an8}We changed our minds
on the rice
417
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:17,459
{\an8}and found a cool
new hiding spot.
418
00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:19,502
{\an8}And that spot is inside--
419
00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:21,004
{\an8}Holy smokes. Is that a wolf?
420
00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:24,966
My God. That was so beautiful.
421
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,385
They really are
like gorgeous dogs.
422
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:30,889
I love seeing a wolf
after robbing a bank.
423
00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:32,474
We got to destroy this phone.
424
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,267
Agreed. Then we're
free and clear.
425
00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:35,352
Yes, let's.
426
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,812
But also, we should
finish the job.
427
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,105
No. No way.
428
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:41,066
It's a miracle
we've gotten away
with it so far.
429
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:43,360
It's not a miracle,
it's the perfect heist.
430
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:44,778
And I say, in a few weeks,
431
00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:46,529
when the dye pack
battery dies,
432
00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:47,781
we go down there,
433
00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:49,824
find the hidden money
and finish this thing.
434
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,117
Turlington knows.
435
00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:53,036
He's gonna be
all over that store.
I'm out.
436
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:54,371
It's over, Roger.
437
00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:56,247
But we're
the Three Musketeers.
438
00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:58,875
That was never something
I agreed to or understood.
439
00:15:59,000 --> 00:15:59,959
That's a candy.
440
00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:02,003
So I'm gonna do it myself?
441
00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,884
{\an8}[♪ thrilling music playing]
442
00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,720
[sirens wailing]
443
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,434
[Francine] Need some help?
444
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,521
I can't stand the idea
445
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,648
of a bank getting
its money back.
446
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:24,609
And I just watched
The Three Musketeers
with Chris O'Donnell.
447
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:25,819
I get it now.
448
00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:27,320
He's cute and sexy.
449
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,864
All for one and one for all.
450
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,533
[Stan] Oh, I like that.
Who says that?
451
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,201
Is it from something
or just you?
452
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,161
[♪ thrilling music playing]
453
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,208
Let's stay calm.
454
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,335
We just have to get
inside our minds
455
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:43,962
and figure out what
we were thinking
456
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,130
when we hid the cash.
457
00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:47,924
Let's get it
before the cops do.
458
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:50,427
Oh, also, we need
honey mustard
pretzel nubbins.
459
00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:51,553
We're out?
460
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:52,846
Listen up.
461
00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:55,432
$50,000 is hidden
somewhere within the store.
462
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:57,892
As of right now,
the dye pack battery
is dead.
463
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,853
I believe the robbers
will be back for the money.
464
00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:02,439
We have to catch them
or find it first.
465
00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:04,065
Ideally, both.
466
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,442
But you guys have a reputation
467
00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,068
for being the worst cops
in the country.
468
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,154
But I'm confident
you're gonna serve this force
469
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:11,239
with distinction,
bravery and--
470
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,908
Because we're cops,
can we eat anything
in the store for free?
471
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,410
- No.
- What if we
search something
472
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,703
and now it's open?
473
00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:18,663
They can't sell it, right?
We can eat it then.
474
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,291
Cheddar is slang for money.
475
00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,960
Is the money, like,
pushed into some cheese?
476
00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:27,046
In the video,
we said it was a cool
new hiding spot.
477
00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:29,758
Is there somewhere
food is kept cool?
478
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,092
Not the rotisserie chickens.
479
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,385
Those are hot.
480
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:34,637
Let's eat two each,
see if we get any ideas.
481
00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:37,390
The freezer section.
That's cool.
482
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:38,892
Think the money
could be in here?
483
00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:41,227
- In the big
rubber ball thing?
- Yeah.
484
00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:43,772
- Underneath the balls?
- Yeah.
485
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,064
Oh, that's definitely
where it is.
486
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,817
[both screaming]
487
00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,652
Oh, these balls
are under arrest!
488
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:57,076
If I know my own brain,
it has to be here.
489
00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:59,537
Because these
Jimmy Dean
Breakfast Nuggets
490
00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:00,955
are money in the bank.
491
00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:04,959
Tamales. Like the saying.
"That's a lot of tamales."
492
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,879
Whoa, these tamales
are a lot of tamales.
493
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:09,130
This isn't right.
494
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,383
That's it. The triceratops.
495
00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:15,720
Three horns.
496
00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:17,263
One horn per friend.
497
00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:18,348
[grunts, spits]
498
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,100
It's empty.
499
00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:24,145
But you're on to something.
500
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,981
The hiding place
could be about us,
our friendship.
501
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,233
Gold Top Nuts?
502
00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:30,360
The best.
But the can's too small.
503
00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:33,112
Nuts. Nuts. Marcona almonds.
504
00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:34,405
They're in the olive bar,
505
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,282
but they also carry
a big tub of them
506
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:38,493
that's so expensive
no one could ever buy it.
507
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:39,661
The almonds.
508
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,162
That might actually be it.
509
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:42,330
And they're over there.
510
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,540
[gasps] Look at
the brand name.
511
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:44,582
[Francine reading]
512
00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:47,752
I don't speak much Italian,
513
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:49,379
and I don't even
think that is Italian,
514
00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:51,965
but I think we just
found the cash.
515
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,633
Now let's get out of here.
516
00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:56,511
If it isn't
the rice aisle gang.
517
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,720
I know what you're doing here.
518
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,807
Oh, whatever are you
talking about?
519
00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:03,476
[Turlington] Oh,
like you don't know...
520
00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:09,148
[over PA] that someone
hid $50,000 somewhere
in this store.
521
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:10,316
Why am I loud?
522
00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:11,818
Do I sound loud to you?
523
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:14,237
Money riot!
524
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:16,990
[people clamoring]
525
00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:19,701
I need that money
because I want it!
526
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:22,537
No, no, no!
527
00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:27,208
Are you in there, money?
528
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:28,668
- [explosion]
- [people screaming]
529
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:30,336
[groans] I have to deal
with this fireball.
530
00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:32,964
Don't you dare
use this fireball
531
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:35,258
as an opportunity
to escape my questioning.
532
00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:42,098
♪ This money
is tearing us apart ♪
533
00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:43,600
[grunts]
534
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:45,476
- [tires screeching]
- [Stan] This is it.
535
00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:48,271
The perfect end
to the perfect heist.
536
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,480
And once again, gang,
537
00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:51,024
sorry for dropping
the almond tub
538
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:52,734
all the way down the hill
so many times.
539
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,277
[Turlington] Busted.
540
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:55,653
If you don't mind.
541
00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:57,989
And here it is, at long last.
542
00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,157
Fifty thousand...
543
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:01,618
Almonds?
544
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,703
What? I mean, of course.
545
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:05,204
Uh, yeah.
546
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:06,915
What'd you think
you were gonna find?
547
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,251
The missing paintings
of the Isabella Stewart
Gardner Museum?
548
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,253
[laughs nervously]
By the way, store's on fire.
549
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:13,922
[people screaming]
550
00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,632
My keys are in there!
551
00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,928
So, we didn't find it.
552
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,430
But it looks like
no one else will either.
553
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,474
And we'll always have
the wonderful memory
554
00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:25,767
of nearly pulling off the--
555
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:28,561
What's this? Damn it.
We took this again?
556
00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:30,021
Well, we didn't find the money
557
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,481
and we won't
remember the heist.
558
00:20:31,606 --> 00:20:32,649
{\an8}But I don't know.
559
00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:34,776
{\an8}At least we destroyed
the grocery store?
560
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,611
{\an8}We loved that grocery store.
561
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,321
{\an8}[Francine] We sure did.
562
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,365
{\an8}[♪ somber music playing]
563
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,369
{\an8}[♪ music turns dramatic]
564
00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:48,081
{\an8}[screaming]