1 00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,404 ** 2 00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:06,174 Wow, you can add a layer of cut-up hot dogs 3 00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:07,808 to any sandwich on the menu. 4 00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,377 They call it "Doggy Style." 5 00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:11,412 And if you don't cut up the hot dogs, 6 00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:13,647 they call that "Viagra Falls." 7 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:15,183 These names are racy. 8 00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:16,484 Is that coming from corporate? 9 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:17,985 It tastes really good. 10 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,920 I'm not about all that razzle-dazzle. 11 00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,522 I'll be getting turkey on bread. 12 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,023 Oh, the bread. 13 00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:26,026 It tastes really good. 14 00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:27,861 What are you gonna get, Roger? 15 00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:29,863 Dead heat between the "Big Bad Beefer" 16 00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,365 and "The Tahoe Tuna Boat." 17 00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:34,135 I'm a Tuna Boat man, but I like being sick. 18 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,869 Chime-in Guy, enough! 19 00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:37,871 I'm talking to my friend Stan. 20 00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:40,141 Right, Stan? Stan? 21 00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:42,743 I see a man from my past, Roger. 22 00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:44,778 A man I wronged. 23 00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:47,047 So? I see men I wronged. 24 00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:48,882 I also see men I haven't wronged. 25 00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:50,818 I see a lot of men right now, Stan. 26 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:53,387 Is this a men's only sandwich shop? 27 00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:58,559 * Good morning, U.S.A. 28 00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:02,396 * I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day * 29 00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:05,533 * The sun in the sky has a smile on his face * 30 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:09,937 * And he's shinin' a salute to the American race * 31 00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:15,209 * Oh, boy, it's swell to say 32 00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:17,678 * Good -- * Good morning, U.S.A. 33 00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:18,746 Aah! 34 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,384 * Good morning, U.S.A. 35 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,486 Stan, do you think that guy brought that from home, 36 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:28,622 or do they sell Chinese food in Ziploc bags here? 37 00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:31,159 Wait, weren't you haunted by the memory of that cashier? 38 00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:32,426 Tommy Shuler. 39 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,362 We went to middle school together. 40 00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:36,730 He was a bit of an outcast, but we were friends. 41 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:39,167 One Halloween, we trick-or-treated together. 42 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,801 Ooh, spooky! 43 00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:44,071 Trick or treat. Trick or treat. 44 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,240 A single Tootsie Roll for you. 45 00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:48,709 And a single Tootsie Roll for you. 46 00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:50,611 And a kiss for me? 47 00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:52,413 Man: Susan. We talked about this. 48 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,914 They're just kids, Gene! 49 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,683 That's my point! 50 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:56,984 Geez, Gene! I love you, 51 00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:59,987 but I cannot do this every Halloween! 52 00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:02,723 I lost one of my finger knives. 53 00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:05,493 You look around here. I'll check back by Mendelsohns'. 54 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,397 Lookin' for your ween, Shuler? 55 00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:11,999 [ Both laugh ] 56 00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:15,203 Hey, Pete. Hey, Tic Tac. 57 00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:16,870 Check out this dildo trick-or-treating 58 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:18,239 all by himself. 59 00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:19,907 I'm not by myself. 60 00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:21,141 I'm with Stan. 61 00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:23,076 No luck by Mendelsohns'. 62 00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:25,779 Oh, no! The Krachowski brothers. 63 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:29,149 Smith. Oh, man. Maybe there is someone lame enough 64 00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,084 to trick-or-treat with this tool. 65 00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:33,921 Well, how 'bout it? You out here with Shuler? 66 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,827 What, that loser? No way. 67 00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:42,296 [ Sobs, sniffles ] 68 00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:44,632 [ Crying ] 69 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,467 [ Laughter ] Adult Stan: I wasn't proud of myself, 70 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,502 but I was able to save face. 71 00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:50,404 And I actually kept trick-or-treating. 72 00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:51,572 Got a pretty good haul. 73 00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,173 Made some great trades, too. 74 00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:56,009 Parlayed three Almond Joys into a Snickers. 75 00:02:56,043 --> 00:03:00,514 But there was no joy for Tommy, Almond or otherwise. 76 00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,750 He went missing in the woods for days. 77 00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,252 Roger: That's a heavy story, Stan. 78 00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:06,019 But can I ask... 79 00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:07,054 why are we crawling? 80 00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,289 I can't face him. 81 00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:09,757 I ruined his life. 82 00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,359 The man works at a sub shop. 83 00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:12,526 Well, hold on a minute. 84 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,228 This could be a Buffett Situation. 85 00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:15,496 What's a Buffett Situation? 86 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,964 Warren Buffett's a billionaire, 87 00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:19,800 but he chooses to live a very modest life. 88 00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:22,503 Lives in a modest house, listens to Modest Mouse. 89 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:23,971 He's a middle-of-the-road guy, Stan. 90 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,506 Like Tommy. 91 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,941 More likely than not, he is a Buffett Situation. 92 00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,142 Case closed. 93 00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:30,844 All right, Roger. -Sandwich time! 94 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,513 * Ohhhh, oh, ohhhh! 95 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:33,981 * Ohhhh, oh, ohhhh! * Ohhhh, oh, ohhhh! 96 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,850 * Ohhhh, ohhhh! * Ohhhh, oh, ohhhh! 97 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,552 Are we maybe celebrating too soon? 98 00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:39,753 How do you mean, Stan? 99 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,289 * Ohhhh, oh, ohhhh! 100 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:42,856 * Ohhhh, oh, ohhhh! 101 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:45,025 I mean, we can't discount the remote possibility 102 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,094 that this is not a Buffett Situation. 103 00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,662 Uch, fine. We'll follow him 104 00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:50,431 after he leaves work and find out. 105 00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,132 In the meantime, let's talk about who else 106 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,067 might be in a Buffett Situation. 107 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:56,304 My guess? Steve. 108 00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,975 ** 109 00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:04,478 I don't need these. Sorry I made you stop for them. 110 00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:05,846 Hyundai Elantra. 111 00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:08,248 Cheap but dependable. Thinkin' man's car. 112 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:11,552 I believe the Buffett Situation is still in play, Stan. 113 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:15,389 He just put 20 Hungry-Man TV dinners into his cart. 114 00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:17,625 So he must have a massive family. 115 00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:18,892 You're stupid, huh? What? 116 00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,561 He's shopping for one. 117 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:21,795 I'm starting to think this might not be 118 00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:23,196 a Buffett Situation after all. 119 00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:24,898 Oh, shit balls. What happened? 120 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,967 I just realized I've got a cold coming on. 121 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,669 -How do you know? -Throat tickle. 122 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,103 Gonna grab some Airborne. 123 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:32,272 Yes, I know it does nothing. 124 00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:34,575 Oh, boy. 125 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,277 Stan: Tandem parking. 126 00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,248 Both: Vertical blinds. 127 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,717 Wall-to-wall carpet. 128 00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,719 Microfiber couch. 129 00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:47,254 DVD rack. 130 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,222 DVDs. 131 00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:51,492 Pert Plus. The 2-In-One? 132 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:52,793 I've seen enough. 133 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,294 By the way, is he deaf? 134 00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:55,929 Hello? 135 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,765 He's not even deaf! 136 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:01,869 So, definitely not a Buffett Situation. 137 00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,337 There's no denying it. 138 00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:05,573 I destroyed his life. 139 00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:07,408 I owe Tommy an apology. 140 00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:08,909 It's gonna be intense. 141 00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:11,379 Thank God I've got you riding shotgun, amigo. 142 00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:12,780 About that, Stan... 143 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:13,947 it's official now. 144 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,983 I am 100% about to get sick. 145 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,752 So you understand I can't join you on this adventure. 146 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,087 But I need you. 147 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,455 I need a soundboard. 148 00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:23,657 Who am I gonna talk to about my internals? 149 00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:27,060 Don't worry. I lined up some great options to take my place. 150 00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:29,329 First up, your son, Steve! 151 00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:30,664 No stranger to shame, 152 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:32,500 and he's got a nice little tummy to boot. 153 00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,134 [ Laughs ] 154 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,837 Like Tommy, Hayley knows her way around a sub sandwich. 155 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,072 And talk about a killer crossover dribble. 156 00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,974 Baller! Shot caller! 157 00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,810 Whoa, I made it. 158 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,513 Up next, he's orange every day. 159 00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:48,348 Klaus: Make way for Klaus! I don't want Klaus. 160 00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:51,619 Uh-oh. Here comes trouble. 161 00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,587 Francine! 162 00:05:53,621 --> 00:05:55,589 You know her. You love her. 163 00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:58,025 And she's got that good energy, Stan. 164 00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,393 I guess I'll take Francine. 165 00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:01,294 You won't regret this, Stan. 166 00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:03,497 I'm gonna be crazy like Roger. 167 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:06,700 Well, Roger's not just crazy. There's a lot of nuance there. 168 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,869 He's got the heart of a power clown. 169 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,704 Thank you for seeing me, Stan. 170 00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:13,106 I can power clown. 171 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,875 We'll have to see. 172 00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:18,378 ** 173 00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:21,048 Tommy's waited his whole life for this apology. 174 00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:22,149 I need to honor that. 175 00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,917 I know what'll help. 176 00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:25,853 Forties! 177 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,054 Tommy: Can I help you? 178 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,258 The question is -- Can I heal you? 179 00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:34,862 Excuse me? Tommy, it's me, Stan Smith. 180 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,964 From Frank Stallone Middle School. 181 00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:39,867 I stand before you, Tommy Shuler, to say 182 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,135 I'm sorry for the night I said I wasn't 183 00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:44,472 trick-or-treating with you, which ruined your life 184 00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:46,807 and turned you into the loser you are today. 185 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,677 Done. Apologized. So, what do you think? 186 00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:52,613 Ah, you must have dreamed about this moment for 1,000 times. 187 00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,948 Well, it's here, Tommy. It's real. 188 00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:56,484 So hit me. Do your worst. 189 00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:58,318 Let it out. I'm afraid... 190 00:06:58,351 --> 00:06:59,587 Don't be afraid, Tommy. 191 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,589 ...I don't remember you. 192 00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,356 That's right. Let it flow. You're doing great. 193 00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,925 [ High-pitched voice ] Wait, what the fluh you just say?! 194 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,530 ** 195 00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:10,998 [ Grunting ] 196 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,600 What are you doing? What is that? 197 00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:15,503 Tommy doesn't remember you, so you're off the hook. 198 00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:18,906 I thought we could do some bong rips, play some "Soulcalibur." 199 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,107 Wrong, Francine. 200 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,776 Tommy needs me more than ever. 201 00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:26,079 Let's try an exercise called "What Would Roger Say?" 202 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,582 Roger would say, "Tommy is..." 203 00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:30,350 Gay. Have sex with him. 204 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:31,585 No. I mean -- I mean yes. 205 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,220 He -- He would probably say that. 206 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:37,525 But Roger as Dr. Penguin would say, "Tommy is blocked." 207 00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:40,828 And maybe Roger would do one of his signature quick changes. 208 00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:43,997 Voilà! I'm Dr. Glasses. 209 00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,333 My personality. Smart. 210 00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:48,736 Ask me a question. What's that in your hand? 211 00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,971 A Frito. I found it down there. 212 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:56,710 Tommy was so traumatized, he actually erased the memory. 213 00:07:56,744 --> 00:07:59,079 I need to make him remember the past 214 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,848 so he can move forward with his life... 215 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,616 so he can blast off like a rocket 216 00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:04,151 headed straight for the moon. 217 00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,053 Do you think this is a good plan, Francine? 218 00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,722 Maybe. I'm not looking for a yes man! 219 00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:10,357 [ Groans ] 220 00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:11,859 Are you seriously leaving? 221 00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,927 I was gonna get you some milk. 222 00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:14,962 I don't like milk. 223 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,630 I like pastries. 224 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,400 Thanks for having us, Tommy. 225 00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:22,703 You kind of just...showed up. 226 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,638 And you're gonna be happy I did. 227 00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:26,540 Do me a kindness, fire me up a Hungry-Man. 228 00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,742 Kitchen's just past the Ficus. 229 00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:30,911 -Can I help her with s-- -Let's focus on you. 230 00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,880 Bottom line -- You're blocked, brother, 231 00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:35,448 and you'll never escape this humdrum loser life 232 00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,951 of Pert Plus 2-In-1 until you remember what happened. 233 00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,620 Have you been here before? 234 00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:42,723 Luckily I brought brought visual aids to jog the old noodle. 235 00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:46,226 Wondering what lies beneath this 1980s raincoat? 236 00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,561 Ba-boom! 237 00:08:47,595 --> 00:08:50,263 My old Umbro shorts and Hypercolor tank. 238 00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:51,732 Still works. Put your hand on it. 239 00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,466 It'll change colors. 240 00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:57,404 You broke my shirt, Tommy. 241 00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:58,772 You owe me a new one. 242 00:08:58,806 --> 00:08:59,807 What's this? 243 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,308 Our old scrapbook? 244 00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,043 We'd be crazy not to take a look. 245 00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,144 [ Fabric tears ] 246 00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:05,512 Don't look down, Tommy. 247 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,980 My shorts ripped, and my dick popped out. 248 00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:09,116 Francine! You were right about the shorts. 249 00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:10,851 Snag me the hand towel with the cherries 250 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,352 on it from the linen closet. 251 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:15,288 She should be here soon. 252 00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,825 Whoa! Look at these bad boys! 253 00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:18,859 Okay, yeah. 254 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,127 Now I remember. 255 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,829 Stand up. 256 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:24,064 I release you, Tommy Shuler. 257 00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,599 Now go change your life. 258 00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:26,934 Change the world. 259 00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,670 Fly, eagle, fly. 260 00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:30,871 Put it in the car, Francine. 261 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:31,905 I love it. 262 00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:33,641 * I'm a good man 263 00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:35,175 * Good man Stan 264 00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,344 * Righting wrongs wherever I can * 265 00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:38,578 What the [bleep] 266 00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:40,480 [ Tires screeching ] 267 00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:42,683 Why are you still a loser? 268 00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:45,853 Stan, I appreciate your interest in me, 269 00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:47,420 but I'm happy here. 270 00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:50,323 I'm not giving up on you, Tommy Shuler. 271 00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:52,525 Is that the Big Bad Beefer? 272 00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:54,027 I'm gonna take this. 273 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,731 This isn't a Big Bad Beefer. 274 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,670 Narrator: But it was a Big Bad Beefer. 275 00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:06,640 The beef had just gotten bunched up behind some lettuce. 276 00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:15,282 "Your new life begins with a healthy diet. 277 00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,950 Love, Stan." 278 00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:18,385 Uch, this guy! 279 00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:20,287 Is heaven-sent? 280 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,522 Wh-- What are you guys doing here? 281 00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,925 Well, you made me a little cross last time I saw you. 282 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,560 [ As Joe Pesci ] You made him a lil' cross, Tommy. 283 00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:30,731 -I'm...sorry? -No, I'm sorry. 284 00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,500 I foolishly thought your life would be a quick fix. 285 00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,035 If this is about Subs Galore -- 286 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,737 Ey! Nah-nah. 287 00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,105 It's bigger than that. 288 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:41,408 Before we can fix this, we gotta fix this 289 00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,076 and this 290 00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,378 so we can fix this. 291 00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:47,748 [ Hand thuds ] Damn, was that your spine? 292 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,817 I feel like I just slapped a Stegosaurus. 293 00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,651 His tongue was really dry, too. 294 00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:52,953 That's a good point. 295 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,088 You're a tough man to love, Tommy. 296 00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:58,992 To get the job you want, 297 00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,128 you need to dress for the job you want. 298 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,596 And that job is Mid-Atlantic regional spokesman 299 00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:04,932 for Kohler toilets. 300 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,499 You have an interview tomorrow. 301 00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:08,501 The big leagues, Tommy. What? 302 00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,904 Would you look at that? 303 00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:13,741 Do you know who the best dresser in the world is, Tommy? 304 00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,408 I don't know. You? 305 00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,377 I wish. No. 306 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:20,513 It's every member of the Cherry Poppin' Daddies. 307 00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,249 They'd wear this. 308 00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:26,720 Where's the zoot suit? It wasn't appropriate. 309 00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:28,055 It's a job interview, Tommy. 310 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,090 You gotta dress like a cartoon wolf. 311 00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,458 [ Grunting ] 312 00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:33,326 Aah! [ Glass shatters ] 313 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,963 -Is she okay? -She's power clowning. 314 00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:37,297 Or so she thinks. 315 00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,698 Oh. 316 00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:40,834 You know, Stan, I'm actually pretty excited 317 00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,302 for this job interview. 318 00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,271 I-It would be a big pay bump, 319 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:47,407 and if I get it, we'd be done here. 320 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,842 Wouldn't we? [ Francine screaming ] 321 00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,710 So thank you. 322 00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:53,814 No, Tommy. You're welcome. 323 00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:57,650 Tommy, I gotta say, you'd be perfect for Kohler. 324 00:11:57,684 --> 00:12:00,053 I look at your face, and I just think, "Toilet." 325 00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:01,221 Oh, stop it. 326 00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:03,390 You're making me "flush." 327 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,660 That was a very good joke, Tommy. 328 00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:09,062 Screw it. You're hired. 329 00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:11,698 Uh, pardon my interruption, gentlemen, 330 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,034 but I'm the C.E.O. of Mitsubishi, 331 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:17,037 and I find this man very intriguing. 332 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,572 Would a great job with a salary of, say, 333 00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:22,042 $10 million interest you? 334 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,344 That's an amazing offer. 335 00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,079 Think you got to take it. 336 00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:28,681 I handed you that Kohler job on a silver platter, 337 00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:30,450 and you blew it. I blew it? 338 00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:33,020 I had it in the bag until you pulled that stunt. 339 00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:34,621 Stunt? I-I can't. 340 00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:36,256 Francine, you talk to him. 341 00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,758 Oh, I don't know, Stan. 342 00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,794 I'm afraid of what I might say 343 00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:42,896 because I haven't been paying attention. 344 00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:45,098 Enough of this. We're done. 345 00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:47,067 I'm going back to Subs Galore. 346 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,635 No, you're not. We burned it down. 347 00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:50,703 What?! Why would you do that?! 348 00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:52,039 I thought you'd be happy. 349 00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:53,773 I burned down your prison. 350 00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,943 Why are you so afraid of success? 351 00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:57,510 How can we overcome this? 352 00:12:57,544 --> 00:12:59,379 I got it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 353 00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:00,580 Stop. Oh, yeah. 354 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:01,882 I'm liking this. 355 00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,550 Cookin' up something special for you, bud. 356 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,552 Brain's in warp drive right now. 357 00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:07,354 Stan, listen carefully. 358 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:10,690 I want you to cease all communication with me. 359 00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:13,994 Gotcha. See you real soon. 360 00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:16,529 I think I'm being a good Roger. 361 00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:20,133 ** 362 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,234 [ Gasps ] 363 00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:23,803 Don't worry, it's me. 364 00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,738 Aaaahhh! 365 00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:29,076 Tommy, we're gonna relive the night of your trauma, 366 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,444 but this time, I'm gonna do the right thing. 367 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,946 But, Stan, why... 368 00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:35,282 Are you Fat Bastard and not Freddy Krueger? 369 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,451 Because of mistakes I made at the costume store. 370 00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,621 My God. Is that a real machete? 371 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,091 Zoot suit riot! 372 00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:45,993 Riot! 373 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:49,762 This is a middle-school peer pressure situation. 374 00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:50,964 Be brave, Tommy. 375 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:52,799 We're about to change history. 376 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:56,703 We are 7th-grade bullies Pete and Tic Tac Krachowski, 377 00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:59,772 and we only have one question, Stan Smith. 378 00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:01,508 Very powerful stuff. 379 00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:04,511 Are you with the loser, Tommy Shuler? 380 00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:05,845 I am! 381 00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:08,681 Young man: Well, well, well. What is this? 382 00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,984 Real teen bullies. Run! 383 00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:13,320 Look at this Fat Bastard loser. 384 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:16,723 And, Big Chin, are you with him? 385 00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:18,758 [ Mockingly ] Are you his friend?! 386 00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,093 I am not. 387 00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:21,528 [ Laughter ] 388 00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:26,366 [ Laughs ] 389 00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:27,667 Tommy, I'm sorry. 390 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:28,801 My instincts just took over, 391 00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:30,237 but I'll fix it. 392 00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:32,072 We'll re-enact everything again tomorrow. 393 00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,307 This is never gonna end, is it? 394 00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:35,575 Hard to tell, Tommy. 395 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,210 Stan! Enough! 396 00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:40,413 I felt bad for you, so I let this keep going, 397 00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:45,385 but it was me who didn't stick up for you in middle school. 398 00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:49,189 What are you talking about? You got the memory reversed. 399 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,590 That can't be. 400 00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:52,192 Do you really not remember? 401 00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:54,995 Tic Tac: Well, how 'bout it? 402 00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:57,764 You out here with Smith? 403 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,469 What? That loser? 404 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,371 No way. 405 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:07,507 Wahhhhhhh! 406 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,742 [ Laughter ] 407 00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:14,047 I was the loser. 408 00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:16,916 I am the loser! 409 00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:21,021 Wahhhhhhhhh! 410 00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:25,658 So ashamed. 411 00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:27,727 So hungry. 412 00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,499 Narrator: And he was so ashamed and so hungry 413 00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:34,367 because ever since he realized 414 00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:37,437 he was the loser and not Tommy Shuler, 415 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:42,742 he'd been hiding in the woods, afraid to show his loser face. 416 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,045 Where is this guy going? Shut up, shut up, shut up. 417 00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:47,214 Something's about to happen. Shh. 418 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,683 Aah! I can't even catch an otter. 419 00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:51,684 What a loser. 420 00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:54,187 You're not a loser, Stan. 421 00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:58,225 You're coming home with me, Stan. 422 00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,460 [ Straining ] 423 00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:03,096 [ Crying ] 424 00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:06,033 Whoa. Where'd you learn to hog-tie like that? 425 00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:08,135 I learned it from watching you... 426 00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:09,402 Tube. 427 00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,971 I learned it from watching YouTube. 428 00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:13,606 Solid website. 429 00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:18,978 ** 430 00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,713 How can you be a loser? 431 00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,949 You're an elite C.I.A. agent. 432 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,052 I haven't even, like, done a C.I.A. thing 433 00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:26,519 in, like, a while. 434 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:27,920 Oh, honey. 435 00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:29,289 You need a hug. 436 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,858 From the wife of Langley's most infamous loser? 437 00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:33,960 [ Crying ] 438 00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:36,696 That little sucker's fast. 439 00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:39,066 He ran right back into the woods. 440 00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,300 And the woods? 441 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,701 Those are close. 442 00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,236 I've been saying this for years. 443 00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:45,572 The woods are super-close. 444 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:47,674 Roger? 445 00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:49,609 What's causing all this fog? 446 00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:51,478 Roger: 36 humidifiers. 447 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,414 I got them from a Mariah Carey estate sale. 448 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,183 Oh, 'cause you're sick. 449 00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:58,418 Nearly sick. It's coming. 450 00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:02,389 Yeah. So, Stan had the sub guy memory reversed, 451 00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:05,358 and now he keeps crying and running into the woods. 452 00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:06,959 What should I do? 453 00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:10,097 Well, it appears Stan's conflated his current self-worth 454 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,332 with childhood feelings of inadequacy. 455 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,334 You need to boost his confidence. 456 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:19,005 What if I get his childhood friends together 457 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,441 to show him he's doing better than them? 458 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:24,577 I could do a middle-school reunion! Okay. 459 00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:29,116 [ As Squiggy ] Hello! 460 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,853 Gotcha. Now tell me where the yummy flies are. 461 00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:36,623 ** 462 00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:38,091 Am I in heaven? 463 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:39,992 I must be. 464 00:17:40,026 --> 00:17:41,928 Because there's my angel suit. 465 00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:45,765 Oh, no! It's you. 466 00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:49,802 Stan, I'm gonna prove to you that you're not a loser. 467 00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:52,605 I organized a middle-school reunion. 468 00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:54,741 Was the zoot suit just a trap? 469 00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:56,443 No, it was the bait. 470 00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:58,578 Because you like it. 471 00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,413 [ Voice breaking ] I do! 472 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,718 Stan, remember? 473 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,288 We don't seek safety in the woods anymore. 474 00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,823 I just like knowing where they are. 475 00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,259 One thing's for sure -- 476 00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,694 You'll have the best-looking lady on your arm. 477 00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:16,463 Best body, maybe. 478 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:21,934 Stan. 479 00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:24,070 Scotty Halas. 480 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,206 So, what are you up to these days? 481 00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:28,040 I'm in medical supplies. 482 00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:29,342 Sounds boring. 483 00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:30,543 Right, Stan? 484 00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:31,911 Oh, it is. 485 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,846 You'd think getting acquired for $2 billion 486 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,383 would be exciting, but it's all paperwork. 487 00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:39,051 He's successful, Francine. 488 00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:40,987 I own my own advertising agency. 489 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:43,790 I'm a former model turned hooker for models. 490 00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:46,092 I found $1 million in the woods. 491 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,527 The woods? Where? 492 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:48,895 It was next to the otter. 493 00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:51,598 That's where I was. Aah! 494 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,533 It was inside the log. 495 00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:55,168 But, like, a long time ago, right? 496 00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:57,370 No. Just this morning. 497 00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:58,805 I wasn't gonna come to the reunion 498 00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,673 because I felt shame about my life, 499 00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:03,410 but now I feel proud because of what I achieved 500 00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:05,712 in the woods earlier today. 501 00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:07,680 Today! 502 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:12,652 Stan, I just wanted to apologize again for everything. 503 00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:14,387 I should apologize. 504 00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:16,055 I cost you your job. 505 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,590 I guess we're both losers. 506 00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,892 Uh, not exactly. 507 00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:23,196 Full disclosure -- I own Subs Galore. 508 00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:24,664 Every location. 509 00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,666 It's kind of a Buffett Situation. 510 00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:27,834 Oh. 511 00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:30,270 Pete: Look who it is, Tic Tac. 512 00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:33,273 Smith, you came to your middle-school reunion alone, 513 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:34,507 like a loser? 514 00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,443 No. I'm here with my wife. 515 00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,978 You mean Palmela Handerson? 516 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,847 -No, her. -Wait a minute. 517 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,416 This smokin' hot hard body is with you? 518 00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:47,153 Hey, hard body, are you really with this loser? 519 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:53,826 That loser? 520 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,161 No way. 521 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,129 [ Crying ] 522 00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:58,698 Stan! I'm sorry! 523 00:19:58,731 --> 00:19:59,899 Come back! 524 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,436 Good thing I had the tailors at Men's Wearhouse 525 00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:05,538 sew a shock collar into his suit. 526 00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,940 [ Electricity buzzes ] Aaahh! 527 00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:11,010 They're truly the best in the business. 528 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:17,049 Stan, please say something. 529 00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:21,120 Tic Tac: Hey, hard body, are you really with this loser? 530 00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:23,222 That loser? No way. 531 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:25,057 That loser? No way. 532 00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:29,061 [ Echoing ] That loser? No way. 533 00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:31,097 That loser? No way. 534 00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:35,635 Hey, hard body, are you really with this loser? 535 00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:37,770 That loser? No way. 536 00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:42,942 Francine, I owe you an apology. 537 00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,644 Y-You do? 538 00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,879 Back there, when I said I wasn't with you, 539 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:49,416 I actually was with you. 540 00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:50,683 Ahh! 541 00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,552 I forgive you. 542 00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:58,825 Ahhh-choooo! 543 00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:02,194 And so it begins. 544 00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:04,397 Bye! Have a great time!