1 00:00:02,637 --> 00:00:05,155 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 2 00:00:05,155 --> 00:00:08,910 ♪ I got a feeling That it's gonna be A wonderful day ♪ 3 00:00:08,910 --> 00:00:11,748 ♪ The sun in the sky Has a smile on his face ♪ 4 00:00:11,748 --> 00:00:15,145 ♪ And he's shining a salute To the American race ♪ 5 00:00:17,702 --> 00:00:20,579 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 6 00:00:20,579 --> 00:00:23,537 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 7 00:00:25,415 --> 00:00:28,251 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 8 00:00:30,849 --> 00:00:34,206 Francine, it's 5:58! 9 00:00:34,206 --> 00:00:37,283 -Two-minute dinner warning. -Dad, you can't treat Mom like a... 10 00:00:37,283 --> 00:00:39,960 Sorry, Hayley, my finger slipped. 11 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,878 I said you can't just... 12 00:00:42,878 --> 00:00:44,995 That's odd. I guess this'll just have to wait 13 00:00:44,995 --> 00:00:47,152 -until I don't have an air horn in my hand. -Fine! 14 00:00:47,152 --> 00:00:49,909 Stifle my voice, but you can't stifle my thoughts. 15 00:00:49,909 --> 00:00:53,186 -Ooh, a secret diary! Let me see! -Hey, this is private! 16 00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:56,024 There was a very famous Jewish girl who kept a diary. 17 00:00:56,024 --> 00:00:57,902 It... ended badly. 18 00:00:57,902 --> 00:01:00,300 But enough about Fran Drescher. 19 00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:04,895 You thought I was making a Holocaust joke! Shame on you! 20 00:01:04,895 --> 00:01:06,773 Damn it, Roger! I've told you a million times! 21 00:01:06,773 --> 00:01:10,449 -No smoking in the house! -And I told you it's menthol. 22 00:01:10,449 --> 00:01:12,926 So, it's healthier than an apple. 23 00:01:12,926 --> 00:01:15,764 -Dinner is served. -What the hell is that? 24 00:01:15,764 --> 00:01:19,840 -It's lasagna. -Lasagna is Thursday night. Tuesday is casserole night. 25 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,558 Have we lost two days? 26 00:01:21,558 --> 00:01:24,715 Did my experiment work? 27 00:01:24,715 --> 00:01:27,233 No. I just wanted to try something different. 28 00:01:27,233 --> 00:01:30,469 We will not be eating Thursday dinner on a Tuesday. 29 00:01:30,469 --> 00:01:32,428 This meal is canceled! 30 00:01:36,544 --> 00:01:38,702 -So did you throw out the lasagna? -No. 31 00:01:38,702 --> 00:01:41,818 I just have to find a way to make it taste fresh on Thursday. 32 00:01:41,818 --> 00:01:43,656 But tonight is Leftover Wednesday. 33 00:01:43,656 --> 00:01:47,093 So, I have to make a casserole that tastes like I made it yesterday. 34 00:01:47,093 --> 00:01:49,331 If I stay in this rut, 35 00:01:49,331 --> 00:01:52,247 it won't be long until it's Head-In-The-Oven Friday. 36 00:01:52,247 --> 00:01:54,965 Linda, look! It's the Ladybugs! 37 00:02:03,437 --> 00:02:08,152 Wow! For housewives, those Ladybugs really have it all. 38 00:02:08,152 --> 00:02:11,948 A fast-lane life and a slow-motion walk. 39 00:02:11,948 --> 00:02:13,946 Ugh. They're snobs, Francine. 40 00:02:13,946 --> 00:02:16,383 A girl would have to be pretty desperate to wanna associate... 41 00:02:16,383 --> 00:02:19,220 Christie! 42 00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:21,779 Remember me? Francine. 43 00:02:21,779 --> 00:02:26,254 Oh, how I wish I could peel off your skin, put it on and be you. 44 00:02:26,773 --> 00:02:28,492 I mean, hi. 45 00:02:28,492 --> 00:02:32,807 Oh, Francine! No time to think of an excuse to not chat with you. 46 00:02:32,807 --> 00:02:37,283 The Ladybugs and I are buying crudites for a charity art auction tonight at Boo! 47 00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:39,240 -Ah! -That's the name of the gallery. 48 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:40,800 -Ah? -No, Boo! 49 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:42,557 -Ah! -Ugh, please. 50 00:02:42,557 --> 00:02:46,154 -Do you even know what an art gallery is? -To be fair, Casey, 51 00:02:46,154 --> 00:02:50,029 galleries rarely advertise in the PennySaver. 52 00:02:57,622 --> 00:02:59,980 Hey, Linda. Wanna go to that art auction? 53 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:02,218 We can't. It's our biweekly puzzle night. 54 00:03:02,218 --> 00:03:04,735 We are this close to finishing that covered bridge. 55 00:03:04,735 --> 00:03:07,732 -But wouldn't it be fun to mix it up a little? -You're right. 56 00:03:07,732 --> 00:03:10,570 Let's do the rest of the puzzle without looking at the box! 57 00:03:10,570 --> 00:03:13,127 Flying blind! Whoo! 58 00:03:16,164 --> 00:03:19,321 Oh, my gosh! 59 00:03:22,837 --> 00:03:25,235 -Move along. -Nothing to see here. 60 00:03:25,235 --> 00:03:28,391 Just a woman crushed to death by a runaway train of shopping carts. 61 00:03:28,391 --> 00:03:30,989 Huh. Or is that something to see? 62 00:03:30,989 --> 00:03:32,428 What shall we do about the dog? 63 00:03:32,428 --> 00:03:33,986 Turn it over to her next of kin? 64 00:03:33,986 --> 00:03:37,103 -Seems like a lot of paperwork. -No, stop! 65 00:03:37,103 --> 00:03:39,500 I'll take that dead woman's dog. 66 00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:42,577 Finally, I have someone to play Frisbee with. 67 00:03:45,694 --> 00:03:47,852 Good dog! 68 00:03:52,488 --> 00:03:54,766 Ach! Hayley's diary is delicious. 69 00:03:54,766 --> 00:03:58,561 Listen to this. "I've been so busy studying feminist theory", 70 00:03:58,561 --> 00:04:01,599 I've never stopped to ask the most important question of all... 71 00:04:01,599 --> 00:04:04,276 - "Am I pretty enough for a man?'" - She has feelings! 72 00:04:06,394 --> 00:04:08,591 -What are you doing? -Hayley, good. You're here. 73 00:04:08,591 --> 00:04:10,949 -I caught Steve red-handed. -Why, you... 74 00:04:10,949 --> 00:04:13,107 Look, I'm just reaching out to you. 75 00:04:13,107 --> 00:04:16,623 Is it so wrong for me to want to get to know my own sister? 76 00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:20,780 And to read about you giving Coach Schwartz a Rod Carew in the Taco King parking lot? 77 00:04:24,775 --> 00:04:26,933 Let me out! 78 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,251 What if I have to pee? 79 00:04:29,251 --> 00:04:31,289 No. No, no. No! 80 00:04:37,803 --> 00:04:41,878 I love these lazy afternoons on the couch with you. 81 00:04:41,878 --> 00:04:43,677 What the hell is that? 82 00:04:43,677 --> 00:04:47,153 This is Fussy. His owner was killed, and he needs a home. 83 00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:50,949 No way, Francine! We're Smiths. And Smiths have manly dogs. 84 00:04:50,949 --> 00:04:54,665 This dog couldn't be any more effeminate, even if it had 20 vaginas. 85 00:04:54,665 --> 00:04:56,583 And then it would just be a freakish mutant, 86 00:04:56,583 --> 00:04:59,181 or a beautiful symbol of fertility. 87 00:04:59,181 --> 00:05:00,820 -But... -Forget it, Francine. 88 00:05:00,820 --> 00:05:03,256 We already have something girlie and annoying in this house. 89 00:05:03,256 --> 00:05:05,215 It's called Roger. 90 00:05:05,215 --> 00:05:08,212 All right, fine. But if you don't wanna keep him, you have to find him a home. 91 00:05:08,212 --> 00:05:10,769 -Got it. -Heaven doesn't count. 92 00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:13,206 Oh, fine. 93 00:05:13,206 --> 00:05:15,405 -Hey! -I need that to shoot people! 94 00:05:15,405 --> 00:05:18,322 -Oh, for the love... -You're holding it all wrong. 95 00:05:24,836 --> 00:05:27,472 Welcome back to A.M. Pet Party. Thanks for waking up with us. 96 00:05:27,472 --> 00:05:30,229 I'm glad we're not the only ones up at this ungodly hour. 97 00:05:30,229 --> 00:05:32,428 Hey, this show is gonna pay off our kitchen counters. 98 00:05:32,428 --> 00:05:35,744 You mean your kitchen counters? I wanted granite. 99 00:05:35,744 --> 00:05:40,380 Anyway, today Stan Smith is trying to find a new home for his little friend. 100 00:05:40,380 --> 00:05:42,778 -That's right. This is Fussy. -Has he had his shots? 101 00:05:42,778 --> 00:05:46,055 -Sure, why not? -Well, hello, handsome. Aren't you a sweet... 102 00:05:46,055 --> 00:05:48,171 Aaah! Oh, God! 103 00:05:48,171 --> 00:05:49,930 -No! Don't use your teeth! He hates that! -Oh! Oh! 104 00:05:49,930 --> 00:05:51,929 -Whoo-ooh, ooh-ooh. -Well, this worked out. See ya. 105 00:05:56,763 --> 00:05:58,761 Francine, why are you dressed so nice? 106 00:05:58,761 --> 00:06:00,999 Those chicks from The View aren't gonna burst in here 107 00:06:00,999 --> 00:06:03,077 and give me a TV makeover, are they? 108 00:06:03,077 --> 00:06:05,474 I'm going to an art gallery. 109 00:06:05,474 --> 00:06:08,351 I'm trying to make a good impression on the Ladybugs. 110 00:06:08,351 --> 00:06:10,509 So, no makeover? 111 00:06:10,509 --> 00:06:13,226 If they like me, it's good-bye boring routine, 112 00:06:13,226 --> 00:06:15,424 hello exciting charity events, 113 00:06:15,424 --> 00:06:17,622 social functions and book clubs, 114 00:06:17,622 --> 00:06:23,137 where we just get drunk and complain about our husbands' lack of interest. 115 00:06:23,137 --> 00:06:25,335 What now? I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention. 116 00:06:25,335 --> 00:06:28,372 Not... Not even a little. 117 00:06:31,409 --> 00:06:35,204 So, you survived the perils of the urban jungle, 118 00:06:35,204 --> 00:06:36,523 made your way back to your master, 119 00:06:36,523 --> 00:06:38,922 and apparently taught yourself to use the doorbell. 120 00:06:38,922 --> 00:06:41,559 Impressive. You've earned a warrior's death. 121 00:06:48,711 --> 00:06:51,988 Yuck. I gotta clean up my orifices. They're all gunked up. 122 00:06:51,988 --> 00:06:54,186 -Stan, where is your toothbrush? -Damn it, Roger! 123 00:06:54,186 --> 00:06:57,462 I'm sick of you and your disgusting habits! 124 00:06:57,462 --> 00:07:01,699 Argh! Not my butt! Argh! 125 00:07:01,699 --> 00:07:05,134 Uh, smart dog. Change of plans... Fussy stays. 126 00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:08,452 Oh, shame to waste this. Well, I suppose there's always eBay. 127 00:07:08,452 --> 00:07:11,808 Yes. I'll kill the enemies I made on eBay. 128 00:07:15,045 --> 00:07:17,762 Hello. Welcome to Boo! 129 00:07:17,762 --> 00:07:18,841 Miss! Your ticket! 130 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:24,595 You can do this, Francine. You know a lot about art. 131 00:07:24,595 --> 00:07:26,952 There they are. 132 00:07:26,952 --> 00:07:30,150 Miss, uh, you forgot your valet ticket. 133 00:07:30,829 --> 00:07:32,188 Oh! 134 00:07:32,188 --> 00:07:36,184 My dress! I'll never impress the Ladybugs now. 135 00:07:36,184 --> 00:07:39,141 There goes my one chance to spice up my life. 136 00:07:39,141 --> 00:07:42,178 Please don't tell my boss, Ma'am. I really need this job. 137 00:07:42,178 --> 00:07:45,655 I am so poor I cannot even afford pants with a zipper that stays up. 138 00:07:47,332 --> 00:07:50,170 And please don't tell anyone we have cockfights here. 139 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,887 Well your cock really did a number on my hair. 140 00:07:52,887 --> 00:07:54,965 Francine! 141 00:07:54,965 --> 00:07:57,962 It seems you have more in common with us than we thought. 142 00:07:57,962 --> 00:08:01,159 -I do? -The real reason we Ladybugs get together 143 00:08:01,159 --> 00:08:02,877 is to compare notes on our affairs. 144 00:08:02,877 --> 00:08:05,275 I'm sleeping with my tennis pro, my gardener, 145 00:08:05,275 --> 00:08:08,511 and I'm letting the neighbor boy watch when I go to the bathroom. 146 00:08:08,511 --> 00:08:10,990 And you're clearly doing the valet. 147 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:14,146 Oh. Oh, n-no. I... 148 00:08:14,146 --> 00:08:16,863 You are having an affair, aren't you, sweetie? 149 00:08:19,501 --> 00:08:22,378 Yes! I am cheating on my husband! 150 00:08:22,378 --> 00:08:24,855 Welcome to the Ladybugs. 151 00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:37,683 Well, Christie, Hector can't buy me diamonds on his valet salary. 152 00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:40,799 But he makes up for it in other ways. 153 00:08:40,799 --> 00:08:43,197 Oh, yeah. Like a horse. 154 00:08:43,197 --> 00:08:46,633 He loves carrots. Um, sure. 155 00:08:46,633 --> 00:08:48,511 I can bring some love letters to our lunch. 156 00:08:48,511 --> 00:08:50,509 Okay. Toodles. 157 00:08:50,509 --> 00:08:53,786 Hmm. "My darling, Francine." 158 00:08:53,786 --> 00:08:59,741 I can't stop thinking about our hot romantic weekend in 159 00:08:59,741 --> 00:09:01,579 -"Epcot Center." -Morning! 160 00:09:01,579 --> 00:09:04,376 -No, I'm not writing anything. -Oh, there's the newspaper. 161 00:09:04,376 --> 00:09:06,174 Fussy loves "The Boondocks." 162 00:09:06,174 --> 00:09:08,731 -It's really the only thing we fight about. -Hey, dumb ass! 163 00:09:08,731 --> 00:09:12,248 -Where are the chips? -I spent your snack budget on Fussy's treats. 164 00:09:12,248 --> 00:09:14,765 How dare you? 165 00:09:14,765 --> 00:09:16,683 Argh! Argh! 166 00:09:16,683 --> 00:09:19,082 I love you, Fussy. 167 00:09:19,082 --> 00:09:21,518 Let me out, or I'll rip up all your clothes! 168 00:09:21,518 --> 00:09:25,635 Go ahead! If you haven't noticed, I only wear this one outfit. 169 00:09:25,635 --> 00:09:28,272 If we stay in here any longer, I'll go mad. 170 00:09:28,272 --> 00:09:31,867 -Mad, I tell you! -Pull yourself together, man! 171 00:09:31,867 --> 00:09:34,386 We still have hope. And they can't touch that. 172 00:09:34,386 --> 00:09:37,782 Klaus, do you know how long it's been since I've seen a woman? 173 00:09:39,021 --> 00:09:40,699 You've got a pretty mouth. 174 00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:45,894 This place is so fancy. 175 00:09:45,894 --> 00:09:47,972 Okay, ladies. Show-and-tell. 176 00:09:47,972 --> 00:09:49,611 Hector's underwear. 177 00:09:49,611 --> 00:09:52,488 He had to leave them behind when Stan came home early one day. 178 00:09:52,488 --> 00:09:55,005 My husband is always coming early. 179 00:09:57,243 --> 00:10:01,638 Okay, next we have some flowers, some love letters he wrote, 180 00:10:01,638 --> 00:10:03,157 this oven mitt... 181 00:10:03,996 --> 00:10:07,153 that he won in a sex contest. 182 00:10:09,911 --> 00:10:11,988 I think it's clear who this week's winner is. 183 00:10:11,988 --> 00:10:15,505 -Brava, Francine. -I'll try to keep doin' ya proud. 184 00:10:15,505 --> 00:10:17,463 Sweetie, if you're gonna keep doing anything, 185 00:10:17,463 --> 00:10:19,261 it should be that valet of yours. 186 00:10:21,179 --> 00:10:22,457 Well, you know, I... 187 00:10:33,286 --> 00:10:35,485 They've smuggled a nuclear weapon into our country and... 188 00:10:35,485 --> 00:10:36,403 Hey, everyone. 189 00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:38,721 Sorry we're late. Fussy had to make a sissy tinkle. 190 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:41,638 Smith, I have a mission for you. 191 00:10:41,638 --> 00:10:44,076 The most exciting mission of your career. 192 00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:46,194 Sorry, Sir. It wouldn't be responsible... 193 00:10:46,194 --> 00:10:48,511 To take risks now that I have someone who depends on me. 194 00:10:48,511 --> 00:10:50,429 -Your family? -Sure, sure. Send them. 195 00:10:53,107 --> 00:10:55,105 -I love it! -Francine. 196 00:10:55,105 --> 00:10:58,181 Linda. Sorry I missed our puzzle night. 197 00:10:58,181 --> 00:11:00,340 -I-I was, um... -Puzzles? 198 00:11:00,340 --> 00:11:03,097 What are you, a baby? 199 00:11:03,097 --> 00:11:05,535 A baby whose nanny dresses her like crap. 200 00:11:05,535 --> 00:11:08,731 Francine? 201 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:12,808 Oh, okay. I get it. 202 00:11:12,808 --> 00:11:16,124 By the way, under that covered bridge in our puzzle... 203 00:11:16,124 --> 00:11:18,842 there was a family of ducks. 204 00:11:18,842 --> 00:11:21,439 I just thought you'd wanna know. 205 00:11:21,439 --> 00:11:24,914 Of course. Those yellow pieces! 206 00:11:24,914 --> 00:11:27,113 -Linda, wait! -Forget her. 207 00:11:27,113 --> 00:11:31,269 Now you need an outfit, honey. 'Cause we're going clubbing with our boy toys tonight. 208 00:11:31,269 --> 00:11:33,746 So you had better bring your val-la-la-la-la-la-lay. 209 00:11:33,746 --> 00:11:36,384 My valet. Uh, right. 210 00:11:38,982 --> 00:11:39,941 I farted. 211 00:11:41,778 --> 00:11:45,454 Not a Frito, not a Newton. Neither Fiddle nor Faddle. 212 00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:49,810 What's this? Lady Barkingston's Bacon-Flavored Dog Scones? 213 00:11:53,526 --> 00:11:56,443 Oh, God! 214 00:11:56,443 --> 00:11:58,921 The gypsy was right. This is how it ends. 215 00:12:01,439 --> 00:12:04,596 Oh, now that I smell like bacon, you like me, huh? 216 00:12:04,596 --> 00:12:08,032 Wait. I can use this to screw with Stan. 217 00:12:08,032 --> 00:12:11,589 -Yes, I can. -Yes, I can. Little bastard. 218 00:12:14,426 --> 00:12:18,501 Okay, calm down. It's not cheating. It's just acting. 219 00:12:18,501 --> 00:12:22,058 Acting's not that hard. Renee Zellweger just makes it look hard. 220 00:12:22,058 --> 00:12:25,975 -Francine, have you seen my darling little num-num-num? -No, I haven't. 221 00:12:25,975 --> 00:12:28,572 -Bye. I'm going out. -What's this? 222 00:12:28,572 --> 00:12:34,006 "My darling, Francine. I can't stop thinking about our hot romantic weekend." 223 00:12:34,006 --> 00:12:36,204 You're cheating on me! 224 00:12:36,204 --> 00:12:38,721 Stan, I can explain. 225 00:12:38,721 --> 00:12:41,838 Fussy, how could you? And with this! 226 00:12:41,838 --> 00:12:43,436 Ooh. 227 00:12:43,436 --> 00:12:46,993 Look at me. I've given myself a whore's bath with your dog. 228 00:12:46,993 --> 00:12:50,030 Come near him again, I swear to God, I'll kill you. 229 00:12:55,585 --> 00:12:58,182 -I want out of the Ladybugs. -What? 230 00:12:58,182 --> 00:13:00,979 -What? -I'm sorry, girls. 231 00:13:00,979 --> 00:13:03,616 But I was never even having an affair. 232 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,733 But don't worry. I'll keep your secrets. 233 00:13:06,733 --> 00:13:09,730 You have dirt on us. We need dirt on you. 234 00:13:09,730 --> 00:13:14,166 You have 24 hours to bed another man, or there will be serious consequences. 235 00:13:14,166 --> 00:13:17,002 We wouldn't want you to end up like poor Anne Fleming. 236 00:13:22,037 --> 00:13:24,276 Anne Flemming. Here we go. 237 00:13:32,347 --> 00:13:34,585 Do you mind? I'm doing important research! 238 00:13:35,224 --> 00:13:36,463 Some people. 239 00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,896 Hmm. 240 00:13:42,896 --> 00:13:45,734 You're being generous, Marvin. 241 00:13:53,446 --> 00:13:55,604 Okay. I'm safe in this house. 242 00:13:55,604 --> 00:13:57,722 The Ladybugs can't get to me in here. 243 00:13:59,002 --> 00:14:02,517 That's funny. I've never burned a shirt before. 244 00:14:07,233 --> 00:14:08,592 Oh, my God! 245 00:14:11,029 --> 00:14:13,866 They replaced my cumin with coriander! 246 00:14:15,824 --> 00:14:18,701 Leave me alone! 247 00:14:18,701 --> 00:14:22,337 As you can see, we can get to you, your family and your seasonings. 248 00:14:22,337 --> 00:14:25,575 Think about that if you're considering not cheating on Stan. 249 00:14:25,575 --> 00:14:28,452 Oh, and, Francine, I'd skip vacuuming today. 250 00:14:31,729 --> 00:14:33,806 Roger, no! 251 00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:36,883 Roger! 252 00:14:36,883 --> 00:14:39,441 My roast! 253 00:14:40,919 --> 00:14:42,318 Stan, help me. 254 00:14:42,318 --> 00:14:44,756 I've been faking an affair to impress the Ladybugs. 255 00:14:44,756 --> 00:14:48,033 They found out I was lying, and now they're trying to kill me. 256 00:14:48,033 --> 00:14:50,790 A cult of murderous housewives. 257 00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,467 Before 9/11, I wouldn't have believed it. 258 00:14:52,467 --> 00:14:54,626 Or at least I'd ask you some follow-up questions. 259 00:14:54,626 --> 00:14:57,383 But that's just not the world we live in anymore. 260 00:14:57,383 --> 00:14:59,820 I'm so sorry I pretended to cheat on you. 261 00:14:59,820 --> 00:15:02,338 I don't know what to do! 262 00:15:02,338 --> 00:15:04,256 Don't worry. I'll protect you. 263 00:15:04,256 --> 00:15:07,332 You and the kids are the most precious thing in the world to me and... 264 00:15:07,332 --> 00:15:09,291 Oh, Fussy, what's this? 265 00:15:09,291 --> 00:15:11,648 A gift certificate to the day spa? 266 00:15:11,648 --> 00:15:14,886 What's the occasion? "Just because"? 267 00:15:14,886 --> 00:15:17,483 Oh, you must love me more than anyone. 268 00:15:20,679 --> 00:15:23,636 Stan! Oh, fine! 269 00:15:23,636 --> 00:15:26,713 If you love that dog so much, why don't you marry... 270 00:15:32,588 --> 00:15:35,344 -Please, I need help! -Okay, calm down. 271 00:15:35,344 --> 00:15:39,940 -Have a seat, Francine. -Thank you so much. I... 272 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,699 How did you know my name? 273 00:15:50,010 --> 00:15:53,287 Mister Editor, I have a story the public needs to know! 274 00:15:53,287 --> 00:15:54,766 Talk to my assistant. 275 00:16:04,156 --> 00:16:07,193 Listen up! My doggie is licking my roommate more than me. 276 00:16:07,193 --> 00:16:11,508 Dogs have a pack mentality. You need to show him you're the alpha male. 277 00:16:11,508 --> 00:16:12,587 Hmm. 278 00:16:13,826 --> 00:16:16,064 Save it for showtime, kid. 279 00:16:20,459 --> 00:16:22,458 Ah! What the hell? 280 00:16:22,458 --> 00:16:24,776 You see that, Fussy? I'm the alpha male! 281 00:16:25,615 --> 00:16:28,452 Ah! Argh! Ow! 282 00:16:28,452 --> 00:16:31,489 Love me! 283 00:17:07,612 --> 00:17:09,770 They're everywhere. They're coming to get me! 284 00:17:09,770 --> 00:17:11,449 I wonder where she found that top. 285 00:17:11,449 --> 00:17:13,446 I mean, no! 286 00:17:15,725 --> 00:17:19,081 -Help! They're trying to kill me. -All yours, ladies. 287 00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:22,278 -Why are you doing this? -I like helping people. 288 00:17:30,229 --> 00:17:32,667 Oh, God. I forgot. 289 00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:34,705 That's where you humans keep your boys. 290 00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:36,384 I'm so, so sorry. 291 00:17:36,384 --> 00:17:39,581 Here, let me help. 292 00:17:39,581 --> 00:17:43,057 Don't be startin' what you can't finish, bitch. 293 00:17:46,653 --> 00:17:47,652 Fussy? 294 00:17:48,851 --> 00:17:50,690 Fussy? 295 00:17:52,208 --> 00:17:54,725 Come back! 296 00:17:58,841 --> 00:18:01,759 Oh, right. You guys are still locked in the closet. 297 00:18:01,759 --> 00:18:04,036 -Well, I guess you're free to go. -No, boss. 298 00:18:04,036 --> 00:18:06,114 I can't make it on the outside. 299 00:18:06,114 --> 00:18:08,671 I'm an institutional man now. 300 00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:12,387 You treated us like animals, and that's what we became! 301 00:18:15,984 --> 00:18:19,181 Last chance, Francine. You can still join us. 302 00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:21,339 Not if it means cheating on Stan. 303 00:18:21,339 --> 00:18:25,455 Our life may not be perfect, but he's always there for me when I really need him. 304 00:18:25,455 --> 00:18:27,133 -Francine! -Stan. 305 00:18:27,133 --> 00:18:29,331 My precious little man ran away, Francine. 306 00:18:29,331 --> 00:18:32,567 -Has he been past here? -No, Stan. 307 00:18:32,567 --> 00:18:34,485 Okay, let's just do this. 308 00:18:36,244 --> 00:18:38,321 Fussy! Here, boy! 309 00:18:38,321 --> 00:18:40,280 My God! 310 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:44,155 I've been so blind. You can never be loyal to just one man. 311 00:18:45,674 --> 00:18:47,353 He won't love you, you know. 312 00:18:47,353 --> 00:18:50,430 He's incapable of love! 313 00:18:52,148 --> 00:18:53,865 Rack 'em up! 314 00:18:57,183 --> 00:18:59,580 Stop! 315 00:18:59,580 --> 00:19:03,817 -Linda! -Excuse me? This is an invitation-only function. 316 00:19:03,817 --> 00:19:06,933 All I ask is that you let me say good-bye to Francine. 317 00:19:12,008 --> 00:19:14,925 No wonder she wouldn't cheat on her husband with another man. 318 00:19:14,925 --> 00:19:19,520 You know, sweeties, this is pretty juicy dirt we have on her. 319 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,838 -Okay, Francine. -We'll let you live. 320 00:19:21,838 --> 00:19:24,475 But if you ever breathe so much as a word 321 00:19:24,475 --> 00:19:26,035 about the Ladybugs and what we stand for, 322 00:19:26,035 --> 00:19:28,752 we'll out you faster than Katie goes through Vicodin. 323 00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:33,466 -What are you doing here? -Duh. 324 00:19:33,466 --> 00:19:36,184 It's Wednesday, our grocery shopping day? 325 00:19:36,184 --> 00:19:37,742 Isn't that crazy? 326 00:19:37,742 --> 00:19:40,060 I thought my boring routine was killing me. 327 00:19:40,060 --> 00:19:42,298 But it ended up saving my life. 328 00:19:42,298 --> 00:19:45,574 And that fake lesbian kiss. What a great idea! 329 00:19:45,574 --> 00:19:47,973 Fake? Oh, yeah. 330 00:19:47,973 --> 00:19:51,968 -Of course. Fake. -Oh, hi, Stan. 331 00:19:51,968 --> 00:19:54,366 Oh. That's your husband. 332 00:19:54,366 --> 00:19:56,404 I'd better get home to my husband, 333 00:19:56,404 --> 00:20:00,199 because I love him, and I'm so sexually attracted to him. 334 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,717 Oh, yeah. He's got the good stuff. 335 00:20:02,717 --> 00:20:05,514 Oh, yeah. 336 00:20:05,514 --> 00:20:08,511 -Did you find your dog, honey? -Fussy is gone. 337 00:20:08,511 --> 00:20:11,828 Let's just leave it at that. Wasn't someone trying to kill you or something? 338 00:20:11,828 --> 00:20:14,305 Not anymore. Let's just leave it at that. 339 00:20:14,305 --> 00:20:16,144 Come on. Walk me home. 340 00:20:16,144 --> 00:20:18,662 -I'll make us dinner. -Oh, more casserole! 341 00:20:18,662 --> 00:20:21,779 -Leftover Wednesday, right? -That's right, Stan. 342 00:20:21,779 --> 00:20:23,856 Leftover Wednesday.