1
00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:05,130
誰要起司?
2
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:08,800
我的盤子和刀子是髒的
你們就直接咬來吃吧
3
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:12,595
哇,除了Brita過濾水
還有大塊起司?
4
00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:14,639
你們兩個過得真好
5
00:00:14,639 --> 00:00:16,433
但我很內疚,每次都來這裡玩
6
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:19,853
要不明天的閨密之夜就到我的公寓吧
7
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,564
公寓?妳不是跟爸媽住嗎?
8
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:26,067
不,我住在自己的房間
9
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:28,945
就算是自己住,懂嗎?
10
00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:32,949
我想在自己的牆上掛什麼都可以
11
00:00:33,074 --> 00:00:35,368
但只能用圖釘,不能用釘子
12
00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:38,038
妳說這什麼鬼話
13
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:40,331
-閨密之夜感覺不錯
-我們會去
14
00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:41,624
水啦
15
00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:45,670
「水啦」?妳的水有過濾嗎?
16
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:51,426
早安,美國
17
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:55,013
我有預感今天會是美好的一天
18
00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:57,849
太陽高掛,陽光普照
19
00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:01,728
它向美國民眾打招呼
20
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:07,650
哦,說得好
21
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,986
早安,美國
22
00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:11,946
{\an8}(中情局)
23
00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:13,656
早安,美國
24
00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:22,415
好了,我想我準備好閨密之夜了
25
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:25,710
{\an8}我敢說她們不會發現
妳的餐桌就是妳小時候的床
26
00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:30,048
{\an8}寶貝,妳還好嗎?
妳比平常更常低吼
27
00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:32,550
{\an8}是因為...你知不知道緊張的時候
28
00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:36,096
{\an8}會在腦袋裡聽到一個批評的聲音?
29
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:39,599
{\an8}也許吧,我試著讀懂妳的情緒
30
00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:42,435
{\an8}妳現在不是壓力大就是想上床?
31
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:43,478
{\an8}壓力大
32
00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:45,188
{\an8}唉呀
33
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:47,315
{\an8}今晚對妳有什麼重要的?
34
00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:48,691
{\an8}你要習慣,傑夫
35
00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:51,027
{\an8}我小時候最愛的節目就是《都市甜心》
36
00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,529
{\an8}(《都市甜心》全系列)
37
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:55,615
{\an8}甜心指的是一起住在城市的年輕女子
38
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:59,327
{\an8}我總幻想自己長大會變得像她們一樣
39
00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:00,787
{\an8}住在大城市
40
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:04,541
{\an8}不管談戀愛或是失戀
在我需要的時候
41
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:05,583
{\an8}總有甜心們的支持陪伴
42
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,877
{\an8}在認識納芙和妲努塔之前
43
00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:10,088
{\an8}我不曾有過閨密
44
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,381
{\an8}這個表情是傷心
45
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:14,300
{\an8}我要確保家裡
沒有任何令人尷尬的東西
46
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,760
{\an8}會破壞今晚
47
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:20,515
{\an8}等鼻涕人看到我的冰塊腹肌就知道
48
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,519
{\an8}史蒂夫,你手腕的斑點還在嗎?
49
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:33,736
{\an8}妳看,我們用罐頭豬肉
幫羅古做了一個女朋友
50
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:37,448
{\an8}這位是茱肉安德森
51
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,452
{\an8}妳看
52
00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:43,163
{\an8}鼻屎人
53
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:52,964
{\an8}鼻屎人
54
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,765
我就喜歡家裡這麼安靜
55
00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:04,767
謝謝妳把那群笨蛋弄到小屋去
56
00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:06,936
我們晚上有重要的計畫
57
00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:10,190
羅傑在閣樓新開一間高級養生館
58
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,734
我們是他的第一組客人
59
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:15,361
準備好兩小時的雙人按摩了嗎?
60
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:17,655
我是摸摸茶靈頓,我會...
61
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:20,617
我之前不曾把這名字唸出聲
聽起來真討厭
62
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:23,453
一定要把這爛名字改掉
我的爛名字之一
63
00:03:23,786 --> 00:03:26,664
沒關係,反正是暫時性的名字
要改很容易
64
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:28,708
可能要買新名片就是了
65
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,376
(摸摸茶靈頓按摩水療)
66
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:31,878
(摸摸茶靈頓)
67
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,379
(摸摸茶)
68
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:34,881
(摸摸茶靈頓)
69
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:38,218
天啊,竟然到處都是
70
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:42,805
(摸摸茶靈頓)
71
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:46,559
這地方應該是令人放鬆的專業休憩所
72
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,770
養生館最要不得的
73
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,855
就是變成自摸的場所
74
00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:52,565
振作點,羅傑
75
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:54,275
你是說摸摸茶靈頓吧
76
00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:57,111
沒錯,謝謝妳,范星
77
00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:59,656
我們就忘了這個名字的插曲
78
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,741
讓兩位準備開始按摩吧
79
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:03,534
{\an8}(摸摸茶靈頓)
80
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,039
腕隧道症候群!
81
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:10,333
摸摸茶靈頓,你還好嗎?
82
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,918
不要再叫我的名字!
83
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,966
今晚終於到來了
84
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:22,595
妳應該幫笨蛋島的總統寫講稿才對
85
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:24,222
對啊,我們超興奮的
86
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,182
期待了一整天呢
87
00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:27,767
我也超期待的
88
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,310
妳現在講話像尤達
89
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,062
講點厲害的吧
90
00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:34,190
南希克雷根不會讓妳們想吐嗎?
91
00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:37,235
我覺得我們可以看這個
92
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:38,695
《都市甜心》
93
00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,738
這是我小時候最愛的節目
94
00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:41,823
沒聽過耶
95
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:43,074
我也是,我小時候
96
00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:46,452
爸媽都讓我看
基督教節目還有職業摔角
97
00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:49,747
(《都市甜心》)
98
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:02,802
坎卓很急躁,蕾西老是跑趴
99
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,513
麥絲就是個怪咖
100
00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:07,098
妳解釋太多了
101
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:10,143
她們的房東奧蘭多先生老是礙事
102
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,770
還有她們的傻鄰居艾格酷夫斯基
103
00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:14,772
小名叫酷夫
104
00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:15,982
那就是酷夫
105
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,608
不要再講「酷夫」了
106
00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:20,069
我的頭可不能卡在醃黃瓜罐裡
107
00:05:20,069 --> 00:05:22,071
我今晚有約會耶
108
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,450
還有更好笑的
109
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:29,120
妳騙人!妳明知道
最好笑的就是醃黃瓜罐了
110
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,538
妳朋友覺得妳是白痴
111
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,582
我才不是白痴
112
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:38,087
緊急狀況,我要找企鵝醫師聊聊
113
00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:40,548
妳不想跟爸媽聊聊嗎?
114
00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:42,008
當然不要
115
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,385
我也沒有很好過
116
00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:46,387
妳知道我一週沒尿尿了嗎?
117
00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:48,056
我現在在按摩
118
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:50,933
我想企鵝醫師現在還是死的
119
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:53,519
是嗎?我有折價卷
120
00:05:54,937 --> 00:05:56,564
跟我聊聊心裡話吧
121
00:05:56,689 --> 00:06:00,735
我這一輩子一直有個
自我懷疑的批判聲音在腦袋裡
122
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:04,280
它現在一直跑出來
讓我對一切充滿懷疑
123
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,198
妳才沒有
124
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,909
我明白
125
00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:09,410
針對這種狀況
126
00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:11,829
我確實有個實驗性質的療法
127
00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,039
但還沒經過測試
128
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,958
能把這聲音趕出我的腦袋
我什麼都願意試
129
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:19,337
太棒了,我們就來做高強視覺吧
130
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:21,547
高強度視覺化
131
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,467
我好像什麼名字都取得不好耶
132
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:27,762
總之,這只能由
受過訓練的治療師來進行
133
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,430
不然妳就會得自強症
134
00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:32,225
自動高強度去視覺症
135
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:40,566
把那個批判的聲音趕進那幅畫裡
136
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,443
這不會有用的
137
00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:44,278
開始深呼吸
138
00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:45,613
吸氣、吐氣
139
00:06:45,613 --> 00:06:47,907
把妳面前的畫吸進去
140
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,326
然後把批判的聲音趕出去
141
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:51,953
趕出去
142
00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:54,122
我把它趕出去
143
00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:58,418
把那可惡的批判者趕進那幅畫裡
144
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,045
它害我每天都過得很糟
145
00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:03,297
但我教會妳如何正確自慰
146
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:05,049
閉嘴,我做得很好
147
00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:07,009
不然妳本來只會按肚臍
148
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:07,969
很舒服啊
149
00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:09,887
可以專心點嗎?
150
00:07:09,887 --> 00:07:11,973
永遠聽不見了!
151
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:15,226
我把妳趕進畫裡
152
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:18,980
這不會有用...
153
00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:23,901
我聽不見了
154
00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:25,903
等等,我應該留瀏海
155
00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:29,031
沒聲音,它不見了!
156
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:31,033
謝謝你,企鵝醫師
157
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,911
企鵝醫師是個好名字
158
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:37,081
要再回去摸摸茶了
159
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:43,045
-抱歉我剛剛跑走了
-沒關係
160
00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,213
我們有手機
161
00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:46,966
有時候純滑手機也不賴
162
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,386
什麼聲音啊?
163
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:53,764
嗨,女孩
164
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:56,642
我把妳趕進畫裡了,妳怎麼變成牛?
165
00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,144
畫裡有隻牛
166
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:01,063
對了,我聽到妳想留瀏海
167
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:03,608
看起來一定很蠢
168
00:08:08,779 --> 00:08:10,907
離開妳的豬腦袋真好
169
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:15,328
我是牛耶,妳看我可愛的小奶子
170
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,287
幹嘛?
171
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:19,707
你的視覺化治療
弄出一隻只有我看得見的牛
172
00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:20,708
怪了
173
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:24,504
要是只有妳看得見那隻牛
妳假裝沒看見不就得了
174
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,005
搔妳癢,關門囉
175
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:29,425
他說的對,我忽視你就好了
176
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:30,927
妳不能忽視我
177
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,221
我又不是公共泳池的腹瀉者勿入標誌
178
00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:36,807
-誰想玩《芬柯疆界》?
-什麼?
179
00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:38,392
(《芬柯疆界》)
180
00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:41,646
{\an8}這是一款殖民外星球的桌遊
181
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,814
海莉,妳的舉止怎麼這麼奇怪?
182
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,733
妳為什麼一直跑出房間?
183
00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:48,110
她們在問妳問題,海莉
184
00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:50,988
現在是閨密之夜還是警察訊問?
185
00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:54,784
要加入哪個星球公會
才是妳們唯一該問的問題
186
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:55,868
看看她們的臉
187
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:58,829
顯然很納悶自己怎麼會跟妳當朋友
188
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,165
每個人拿五個資源幣
189
00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:04,293
不對,妲努塔,那是能源幣
納芙,那是月亮幣
190
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:06,837
妳想在這一輪就用上,真是想得美
191
00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:10,341
-這是什麼?
-吃一半的大麻軟糖
192
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:12,885
「星球殖民者們
193
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:15,388
「經過千年旅程,歡迎來到芬柯星球」
194
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,723
第一步是清算資產
195
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,059
閉嘴!
196
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,812
-怎麼了嗎?
-我要去一下廁所
197
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:24,897
她們覺得妳要拉一大陀屎
198
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:26,399
我要拉一小陀屎
199
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,900
聽起來更糟了
200
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,409
大夥,我想我們可能
201
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,412
-被那罐開瓶的除膠劑影響了!
-我去把它關起來
202
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,831
但在那之前,我只想說
203
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:46,252
你們是我一生中最好的朋友
204
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:50,840
有人聽到腦細胞死掉的聲音嗎?
205
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:55,136
{\an8}(史皮博士除膠劑)
(危險:請勿吸入)
206
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,847
{\an8}我忘記自己上來幹嘛了
207
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:04,895
寶寶藍的福斯金龜車?
208
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:09,775
吹牛老爹皇后香水?
209
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:12,028
妲努塔在走動?
210
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:15,615
一定是妲努塔,妲努塔!
211
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,659
對,她和辣妹納芙今晚來家裡
212
00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:21,120
我得離開這裡,我要告訴她一件事
213
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,664
該死的,我們會幫你離開這裡
214
00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:25,291
我們是小屋男孩
215
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,126
我們為彼此兩肋插刀
216
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,503
我們之間什麼話都能說嗎?
217
00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:30,921
那當然
218
00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:34,216
我一直都在吃金斯福的煤磚
219
00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:36,010
我超愛的
220
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:40,806
小屋男孩!
221
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,852
雖然妳在這
222
00:10:44,852 --> 00:10:46,937
但今晚還蠻順利的
223
00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:49,940
海莉,就算我有四個胃
我還是嚥不下這口氣
224
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,901
妳的友誼破裂有什麼關係?
225
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:52,943
有我挺妳啊!
226
00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:54,779
但我想用炸藥把妳炸爛
227
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,906
等等,我知道怎麼挽回頹勢了!
228
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,407
我有三個強力爆竹
229
00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:02,119
把一個拿來丟在起司塊
直接升級成熱融製乾酪
230
00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:04,622
她們走了
231
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:08,417
管她們的,海莉
我們去外面用尾巴趕蒼蠅吧
232
00:11:09,877 --> 00:11:10,961
妲努塔傳簡訊來
233
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:12,505
「抱歉,海莉,我們先走了
234
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:15,424
「妳好像有事要忙,掰囉」
235
00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:18,469
納芙傳了死侍揮手道別的動態貼圖
236
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:23,516
吃光起司漢堡
對腕隧道症候群一點幫助也沒有
237
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,892
還是我們離開吧?
238
00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:27,895
不!我說過要幫你們按摩
你們就會被按摩
239
00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:31,816
史坦,你幫范星按摩
我一邊專業地教導你
240
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:36,195
最重要的
是按摩不能有一點性愛成分
241
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:39,031
我來放點放鬆心情的音樂
242
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:51,919
這不應該引起妳任何性趣
243
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:54,088
差點忘了按摩油
244
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,172
(按摩油)
245
00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:07,017
做得好,史坦
但先別按肩膀了,按屁股
246
00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:11,188
就按吧,別害羞
揉她的屁股,想成比薩麵糰
247
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,238
你不能上她,史坦
248
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:21,365
這個養生館不能發生這種事
249
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:24,285
好了,轉過來,把胸部按摩一下
250
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,536
我們現在要做什麼?
251
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:27,997
要不然看看妳幾個前男友在幹嘛吧!
252
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,749
瑞奇諾最近不知道怎麼樣?
253
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,917
要不要聊聊妳跟無尾熊上床的事?
254
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:35,212
我受不了了!
夠了,我要甩了妳
255
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,631
最好是,女孩,我是妳的牛啊
256
00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:40,676
不會太久了
既然妳因視覺治療而出現
257
00:12:40,676 --> 00:12:42,428
我就能用它甩掉妳
258
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:48,017
企鵝醫師不是說
沒有專業人士在就不能做嗎?
259
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,102
妳知道緊張就好了
260
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,440
我把這隻牛...
261
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,525
妲努塔!她人呢?
262
00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:58,486
克勞司有重要的事要告訴她
263
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,488
她一定在這的某處!
264
00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:02,865
到處找找!
265
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:14,627
她不在這!
266
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:17,838
她走不遠的,我們得找到她!
267
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:20,007
-我看到她了!
-不,那是葛瑞格
268
00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:22,426
喂,播報員,你有看到妲努塔嗎?
269
00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:25,429
-誰?
-妲努塔!你新來的啊?
270
00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:26,514
有足跡!
271
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:30,726
一定是妲努塔的爪印,一直延伸到...
272
00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:33,521
浣熊!
273
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:41,904
真希望我能在節目裡
有無論如何都愛我的閨密
274
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:45,157
{\an8}那才是我一直想要的
275
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:47,493
我想當都市甜心
276
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:59,129
-我是不是...
-早餐遲到了?
277
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:00,506
沒錯,海莉
278
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:04,552
但我懂,因為麥絲又要做飯了
279
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:11,141
早餐做好了
280
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:20,734
(《都市甜心》)
281
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,669
喂,我的廚藝沒那麼糟吧
282
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:41,505
妳做的菜害我胃灼熱發作
283
00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:45,885
喂,警察局嗎? 我要報案
有人義式烘蛋做得很難吃
284
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:49,930
我死定了
285
00:14:50,472 --> 00:14:53,851
我搞完一夜情
衣衫不整地撞見我老闆
286
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:57,396
蕾西,有事嗎? 妳沒在怕的吧!
287
00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:02,443
妳的B計畫可是比
準備過頭的童子軍團長還要多
288
00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:06,196
我只知道我需要喝一杯
289
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:07,990
我也要!
290
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,995
酷夫!你知道我們有門吧
291
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:16,332
-對,但妳們會鎖門
-說的對
292
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:20,669
夏天快到了,誰要幫我剃陰毛?
293
00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:23,464
冬天的雜草要好好修整一番
294
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,343
剃毛刀夠嗎?要除草機吧
295
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:30,262
老天,我喜歡在這裡
296
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:32,765
我本來還以為我有毛病
297
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,600
一個朋友也留不住
298
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,187
在這裡讓我明白,毛病不在我身上
299
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:40,189
妳說太多心裡話了吧?
300
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,319
可能是我的男伴,海莉,幫忙開門
301
00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:47,321
哞
302
00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:52,701
天啊,海莉,太無禮了吧?
303
00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:56,413
各位,這是我的牛
304
00:15:57,247 --> 00:16:00,501
真牛逼!太狂了吧
305
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:05,464
我個人是喜歡牛皮包包勝過真的牛啦
306
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:09,969
裡面怎麼回事?
307
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:13,138
-奧蘭多先生!
-這棟大樓是寵物勿入
308
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,724
要是我們被趕出去,我就會失去你們
309
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,269
有人早上忘了吃鎮靜劑喔
310
00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:24,066
你們都閉嘴!
這事很大條,我沒在開玩笑!
311
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:27,653
我看起來在開玩笑嗎?
我跟你們保證,我可沒有
312
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:31,490
海莉,妳被附身了嗎?
妳太誇張了吧
313
00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:35,411
為什麼大家把這當笑話?
314
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:38,580
我就跟妳說這是個爛主意
315
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:41,291
我不會讓妳把我的一切給毀了!
316
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:42,918
妳不可能把我藏一輩子,海莉
317
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:46,005
我知道我很愛吃
但妳才是我「受」不了的原因
318
00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:51,802
妳們以為我傻了啊
319
00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:55,723
這裡事有蹊蹺,我清楚得很
320
00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:59,143
妳們又把衛生棉條沖進馬桶!
321
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:02,521
老天,奧蘭多先生,你跟棉條有仇嗎?
322
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:05,441
我這三十年的婚姻都不快樂
323
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:08,277
所以我想我懂女人
324
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:10,487
女人最愛把衛生棉條沖進馬桶!
325
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:14,158
什麼聲音?
326
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:18,162
搞清楚,老兄,你不能進廁所
327
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,872
沒有逮捕令就不行
328
00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:23,667
這個桶子裡好像有衛生棉條
329
00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:25,335
真的嗎?我看看
330
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:34,470
看吧?裡面沒有怎樣
331
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:37,514
那是什麼噪音?
332
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:40,809
沒什麼!不管那是啥,我都試著制止
333
00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:48,400
哇,那頭牛也太壯了!
334
00:17:53,822 --> 00:17:57,493
早知道我就娶這頭牛了
身材比我老婆好多了
335
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:01,288
妳再也藏不住我了!
336
00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:05,292
妳根本打不過妳的牛!
337
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:07,503
真不敢相信妳搞砸了!
338
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:10,881
這是我的夢想,妳毀了我的一切
339
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:13,342
我留不住朋友都是妳害的!
340
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:14,843
我恨妳!
341
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:21,350
這裡發生什麼事?
342
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,561
海莉,我警告過妳
我不在的時候不能做這個治療!
343
00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:25,979
牛為什麼在哭?
344
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:27,564
可能是尼克隊的球迷吧
345
00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:32,778
這個好笑,尼克隊真的打得很爛
346
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:36,573
我其實沒在看球
如果你真的在講球隊的話
347
00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:38,575
羅傑,你怎麼在這?
348
00:18:38,575 --> 00:18:41,078
我來幫妳的啊,海莉
看不出來嗎?
349
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:45,374
我想把妳的負面想法藏起來
但妳只會讓牛越來越壯
350
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:48,669
那是妳的一部份
妳怎麼會覺得妳能擺脫她呢?
351
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:51,588
你說可以的!這可是你的療法!
352
00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:53,257
但妳用折價券
353
00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:55,384
現在要怎麼搞定?
354
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:58,512
海莉,妳的牛是試著保護妳
355
00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:00,848
是真的
356
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:04,184
妳不該把牛藏起來
或是忽視她、對抗她
357
00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:05,561
妳應該接受她
358
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:07,980
妳沒辦法讓負面想法不見
359
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:11,316
但妳能認知它們,讓它們過去
360
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:14,236
去愛妳的牛,但別讓她控制了妳
361
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:18,532
當都市甜心就要擁抱自己的一切
362
00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:21,702
小姐,交給我來就好
給牛親一個
363
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:25,372
好噁,我是開玩笑的!
364
00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:29,168
妳不用這麼做,但很好笑
來吧,我們走
365
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,300
剛剛真緊張,謝了,企鵝醫師
366
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,676
不客氣,海莉
367
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:40,762
但下次要參加節目的話
可以去《銀湯匙》嗎?
368
00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:42,514
我想搭那台小火車
369
00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:46,727
超司和過濾水,妳邀請皇后來家裡嗎?
370
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:48,228
那提醒我該走了
371
00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:50,314
我得去跟朋友們講清楚
372
00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:51,398
好吧
373
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:55,652
回來上工了
374
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:03,952
摸摸茶靈頓的生意被毀了
我在旁邊看就好
375
00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:06,246
真沒想到,我開始喜歡這個名字了
376
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:07,539
羅傑,你可以離開嗎?
377
00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:09,124
與其離開
378
00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:11,835
不如我們比賽看誰先繳械?
379
00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:13,128
好啊!
380
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:20,594
我很抱歉把閨密之夜毀了
381
00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:23,555
我只是很緊張,因為我很喜歡妳們
382
00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:25,098
我覺得妳們很酷...
383
00:20:25,682 --> 00:20:27,309
講慢點,女孩
384
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:29,603
我慢慢講好了
385
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:32,564
我想是因為我想太多了
386
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:36,026
海莉,妳不用緊張
也不用因為舉止奇怪而道歉
387
00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:38,904
{\an8}對啊,妳嫁人了還有份工作
388
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:41,698
{\an8}我們才覺得妳的生活很美好
389
00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:43,909
{\an8}真的嗎?我都不知道
390
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:49,122
{\an8}妲努塔!...
391
00:20:49,122 --> 00:20:53,043
{\an8}我有事要告訴妳,妲努塔!
392
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:55,254
{\an8}怎麼了?什麼事,克勞司?
393
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,093
{\an8}妳好
394
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,177
{\an8}字幕翻譯: 蔡佳璇