1 00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:05,130 Who wants cheese? 2 00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:08,800 Our plate and knife are dirty, so you'll have to nibble off the block. 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:12,595 Dang. Brita-filtered water and now a big cheese? 4 00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:14,639 You two really have it all figured out. 5 00:00:14,639 --> 00:00:16,433 But I feel bad. We always hang here. 6 00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:19,853 Maybe tomorrow night, we could do a girls' night at my apartment. 7 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,564 Apartment? Don't you live at home with your parents? 8 00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:26,067 No, I meant I was apart from them. 9 00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:28,945 An apart-ment, get it? 10 00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:32,073 I can put anything I want up on my walls. 11 00:00:33,074 --> 00:00:35,368 With pushpins. I'm not allowed to use nails. 12 00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:37,662 You sound like an idiot right now. 13 00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:40,331 - A girls' night sounds great. - We're in. 14 00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:41,624 Cool beans. 15 00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:45,253 "Cool beans"? What the is cool about beans? 16 00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:51,426 Good morning, USA 17 00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:55,013 I got a feeling That it's gonna be a wonderful day 18 00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:57,849 The sun in the sky Has a smile on his face 19 00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:01,436 And he's shining a salute To the American race 20 00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:07,650 Oh, boy, it's swell to say 21 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,986 Good morning, USA 22 00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:15,033 {\an8}Good morning, USA 23 00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:22,415 There. I think I'm ready for girls' night. 24 00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:25,919 {\an8}I'm sure they won't notice your dining table is your childhood bed. 25 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,004 {\an8}Babe, you okay? 26 00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:30,048 {\an8}You're growling more than normal. 27 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:32,550 {\an8}It's just... Okay, you know how when you're nervous, 28 00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:36,096 {\an8}you hear, like, a little judgmental voice in your head? 29 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:39,599 {\an8}Maybe. I'm trying to get better at reading your moods. 30 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:42,435 {\an8}You're either stressed or horny? 31 00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:45,188 {\an8}- Stressed. - Aw, shucks. 32 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:47,315 {\an8}Why is this night so important to you? 33 00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:48,691 {\an8}Settle in, Jeff. 34 00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:52,570 {\an8}When I was a kid, Big City Honeys was my favorite show. 35 00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:55,615 {\an8}The Honeys are young women living together in the city. 36 00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:59,327 {\an8}I always imagined that when I grew up, I would be just like them. 37 00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:00,787 {\an8}Living in the big city, 38 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:04,082 {\an8}falling in and out of love, but always having the support of my fellow Honeys 39 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:05,583 {\an8}when I needed it. 40 00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,877 {\an8}But until I met Nerfer and Danuta, 41 00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:10,088 {\an8}I never had real girlfriends. 42 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,381 {\an8}That's a sad. 43 00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:14,300 {\an8}I just need to make sure there's nothing embarrassing in the house 44 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,718 {\an8}that could ruin the night. 45 00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:20,056 {\an8}Wait till Snot sees my washboard abs. 46 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,519 {\an8}Steve, do you still have those freckles on your wrists? 47 00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:33,736 {\an8}Check it out. We're making Rogu a girlfriend out of canned pork. 48 00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:37,448 {\an8}Meet SPAM Anderson. 49 00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:41,119 {\an8}Look. 50 00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:43,163 {\an8}The boogerman. 51 00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:52,922 {\an8}The boogerman. 52 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,765 Love it when the house is peaceful like this. 53 00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:04,767 Thanks for putting those turkeys in the shed. 54 00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:06,936 We have big plans tonight. 55 00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:10,190 Roger is opening a fancy new spa in the attic, 56 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,734 and we're going to be his first customers. 57 00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:15,361 Who's ready for a two-hour couples massage? 58 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:17,655 I'm Rub Rub Tuggington, and I'll... 59 00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:20,617 Wow. I had never said that name out loud. I hate it. 60 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:23,453 Definitely gonna change that awful name. One of my worst. 61 00:03:23,786 --> 00:03:26,664 It's fine. The name's temporary. It'll be an easy change. 62 00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:28,666 Might have to order new business cards. 63 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:38,218 My God. It's everywhere. 64 00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:46,559 This place is supposed to be a relaxing, professional retreat. 65 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,770 The worst thing that can happen to your spa 66 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,855 is it gets known as a jerk-off place. 67 00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:52,565 Okay. Keep it together, Roger. 68 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:54,275 You mean Rub Rub Tuggington. 69 00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:57,111 Yes, thank you, Francine. 70 00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:59,656 Let's forget about this small branding snafu 71 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,741 and get you two ready for your massage. 72 00:04:05,119 --> 00:04:06,871 Argh! 73 00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:08,039 Carpal tunnel! 74 00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:10,333 Rub Rub Tuggington, are you okay? 75 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,918 Stop saying my name! 76 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,966 Tonight is the night and we are living it. 77 00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:20,134 Wow! You should be a speechwriter 78 00:04:20,134 --> 00:04:22,595 for the President of Numbskull Island. 79 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:24,222 Yeah, we're excited. 80 00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,182 Been looking forward to this all day. 81 00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:27,767 Excited, too, I am. 82 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,310 Now you're talking like Yoda. 83 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,062 Say something cool. 84 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:34,190 Doesn't Nancy Kerrigan make you guys want to puke? 85 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:35,692 Uh... 86 00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,235 I thought we could watch this. 87 00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:38,695 Big City Honeys. 88 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,738 It was my favorite show when I was a kid. 89 00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:41,823 Huh, never heard of it. 90 00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:43,074 Me neither, but growing up, 91 00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:46,202 my parents only let me watch Christian shows and pro wrestling. 92 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:02,802 So Kendra is uptight, Lexi is a total party girl, 93 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,138 and Max is just, like, you know, out there. 94 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,265 You're over-explaining. 95 00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:10,143 Their landlord, Mr. Orlando, is always in their business, 96 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,770 along with their goofball neighbor, Edgar Queefinski, 97 00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:14,772 or Queef, for short. 98 00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:15,982 Oh, there's Queef. 99 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,608 Stop saying "Queef". 100 00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:20,069 I can't have my head stuck in a pickle jar. 101 00:05:20,069 --> 00:05:22,071 I have a date tonight. 102 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,450 It gets funnier. 103 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:29,120 Liar! You know it doesn't get any funnier than the pickle jar. 104 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,538 They think you're a bozo. 105 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,582 Guys, I'm not a bozo. 106 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:38,087 I am in a desperate situation. I need to talk to Dr. Penguin. 107 00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:40,423 Don't you want to talk to your mother and father? 108 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:41,591 Definitely not. 109 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:44,385 Phew! 'Cause I got my own shit going on. 110 00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:46,387 You know I haven't peed in a week? 111 00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:48,056 I'm in the middle of a massage here 112 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:50,933 and Dr. Penguin, I think, is possibly still dead. 113 00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:53,519 Oh, yeah? Well, I have a Groupon. 114 00:05:54,937 --> 00:05:56,189 Tell me what's on your mind. 115 00:05:56,689 --> 00:06:00,735 I've had this judgmental voice of self-doubt in my head my whole life. 116 00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:04,280 But now, it's gotten so constant, I'm doubting everything. 117 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,366 No, you're not. 118 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,909 I see. 119 00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:09,410 I do, of course, 120 00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:11,829 have a tried and true therapy for this situation 121 00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,039 that's never been tested. 122 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,958 I will try anything to get this voice out of my head. 123 00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:19,337 Fantastic. Get ready for a little HIV. 124 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:21,547 High-intensity visualization. 125 00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:24,467 Wow. I guess I'm just terrible at naming everything now. 126 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:27,762 Okay. This should only be done by a trained therapist. 127 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,430 Otherwise, you'll get AIDS. 128 00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:32,225 Automatic, intense de-visualization syndrome. 129 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:40,566 Let's get this critical voice out of your head and into that painting. 130 00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,443 This is never gonna work. 131 00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:44,278 Start taking deep breaths. 132 00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:45,613 In and out. 133 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,324 Take in the painting in front of you 134 00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:50,868 and rid yourself of your critical voice. 135 00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:51,953 Send it away. 136 00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:54,122 I send it away. 137 00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:58,418 Away into the painting, that horrible critic. 138 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,878 It's made every day of my life worse. 139 00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:03,423 I did teach you how to masturbate correctly. 140 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,049 Shut up. I was doing fine. 141 00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:06,759 You were rubbing your belly button. 142 00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:07,969 It felt good. 143 00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:09,887 Guys, can we focus here? 144 00:07:09,887 --> 00:07:11,973 Never to be heard from again! 145 00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:15,226 I send you into the painting. 146 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:18,980 This will never wor... 147 00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:23,901 I... I don't hear it. 148 00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:25,903 Wait. I should get bangs. 149 00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:29,031 Nothing. It's gone! 150 00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:30,616 Thank you, Dr. Penguin. 151 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,911 Dr. Penguin, a great name. 152 00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:36,622 Well, back to being Rub Rub. 153 00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:43,045 - Sorry I had to run off like that. - No problem. 154 00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,213 We have our phones. 155 00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:46,966 It's nice to have some time to just enjoy our phones. 156 00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:50,386 What was that? 157 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:53,764 Hey, girl. 158 00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:56,642 I sent you into the painting. Why are you a cow? 159 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,144 There was a cow in the painting. 160 00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:01,063 Oh, by the way, I heard you were thinking of getting bangs. 161 00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:03,191 You're gonna look so stupid. 162 00:08:08,779 --> 00:08:10,907 So nice to be out of your dumb head. 163 00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:15,286 I'm a cow. Check out my sweet little boobies. 164 00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:16,412 What? 165 00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:19,707 Your visualization therapy gave me a cow that only I can see. 166 00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:20,833 Ha. Weird. 167 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:24,504 If only you can see the cow, just ignore it. 168 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,005 Tickle. Door. 169 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:29,091 You know what? He's right. I'll just ignore you. 170 00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:30,927 You can't ignore me. 171 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,221 I'm not a diarrhea sign at a public pool. 172 00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:36,766 - Who wants to play Frontiers of Finkel? - What? 173 00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:41,646 {\an8}It's a board game where you colonize an alien planet. 174 00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,814 Hayley, why have you been acting so strange? 175 00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,733 Why do you keep running out of the room? 176 00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:48,110 These are solid questions, Hayley. 177 00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:50,988 Is this a girls' night or an interrogation? 178 00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:52,823 The only question you guys should be asking 179 00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:54,784 is what space guild you wanna join. 180 00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:55,868 Look at their faces. 181 00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:58,829 Clearly wondering why they ever became friends with you. 182 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,165 Everybody grab five resource tokens. 183 00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:04,293 No, Danuta, those are energy coins. Nerfer, those are moon doubloons. 184 00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:06,837 You wish you could use those this round. 185 00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:10,341 - What's this? - Uh, a half-eaten weed gummy. 186 00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:12,885 "After a thousand-year journey, 187 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:15,388 "welcome to Planet Finkel, space colonists." 188 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,723 Okay, first step is an audit of assets. 189 00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:20,059 - Ooh! - Shut up! 190 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,812 - Is everything okay? - I have to go to the bathroom. 191 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:24,897 They think you're taking a huge dump. 192 00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:26,399 I have to take a tiny dump. 193 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,900 That sounds way worse. 194 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:37,118 Guys, I think we might be feeling the effects 195 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,412 - of that open can of Goop Off! - I'll close it up. 196 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,831 But before I do, I just want to say 197 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:46,252 that you guys are the best friends I've ever had in my life. 198 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:50,840 Can anyone else hear their brain cells dying? 199 00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:57,847 {\an8}I can't remember why I'm up here. 200 00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:04,895 Baby blue VW Beetle? 201 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:09,775 Empress by Sean John perfume? 202 00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:12,028 Danuta walking around? 203 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:15,615 That can only be Danuta. Danuta! 204 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,659 Yeah, she and that hottie, Nerfer, are here tonight. 205 00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:21,120 I have to get out of here. I need to tell her something. 206 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,664 Then, damn it, we'll get you out of here. 207 00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:25,291 We're the Shed Boys. 208 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,126 We'll do anything for each other. 209 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,503 Can we tell each other anything? 210 00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:30,921 Hell yeah. 211 00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:34,216 I've been eating the Kingsford Charcoal briquets 212 00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:36,010 and I like them. 213 00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:40,181 Shed Boys! 214 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,852 You know, despite you being here, 215 00:10:44,852 --> 00:10:46,937 I think the night is going pretty well. 216 00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:49,940 Hayley, I have four stomachs and even I can't swallow that. 217 00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,901 Who cares if your friendship is over? 218 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,027 You got me! 219 00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:54,904 But I'd like to blow you up with dynamite. 220 00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:56,906 Oh, wait. I know how to save the night! 221 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,407 I've got three M-80s. 222 00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:02,119 Let's throw one in the block of cheese and class this bish up with some fondue. 223 00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:04,622 They're gone. 224 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:08,417 Screw them, Hayley. Let's go outside and swat flies from our asses. 225 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:10,961 Danuta texted. 226 00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:12,505 "Sorry, Hayley, we took off. 227 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:15,424 "It seems like you're going through something. Peace out." 228 00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:18,469 And then Nerfer sent a GIF of Deadpool waving goodbye. 229 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:23,516 Okay, eating all those cheeseburgers did nothing for my carpal tunnel. 230 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,892 Should we maybe just go? 231 00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:27,895 No! I promised you a massage, and you're getting one. 232 00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:31,816 Stan, you will massage Francine while I expertly coach. 233 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:33,484 The most important thing 234 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:36,195 is that the massage cannot get sexual in any way. 235 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:39,031 Now let me put on some relaxing spa music. 236 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:51,919 Under no circumstances should you be aroused by this. 237 00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:53,421 Almost forgot the oil. 238 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,050 Ahhh! 239 00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:07,017 That's good, Stan, but forget the shoulders and focus on her butt. 240 00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:10,062 Get in there, don't be shy. Really knead that ass. 241 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,230 Think pizza dough. 242 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,238 You can't bang her, Stan. 243 00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:21,365 That kind of thing doesn't fly at this spa. 244 00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:24,285 All right, turn over. Let's work the knots out of those breasts. 245 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,536 What should we do now? 246 00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:27,997 Maybe see what some of your exes are up to! 247 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,749 What's the deal with Reginald? 248 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,917 Are we gonna talk about how you slept with a koala? 249 00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:35,212 I can't take this anymore! That's it, I'm getting rid of you. 250 00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:37,631 Uh, good luck, girl. I'm your cow. 251 00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:40,676 Not for long. If I got you through visualization therapy, 252 00:12:40,676 --> 00:12:42,428 I can use it to get rid of you. 253 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:48,017 Didn't Dr. Penguin say not to do this without a trained professional? 254 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,102 I like that you're nervous about this. 255 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,440 I send this cow... 256 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,525 Danuta! Where is she? 257 00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:58,486 Klaus has something important to tell her. 258 00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,154 She's gotta be in here somewhere! 259 00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:02,865 Tear this place apart! 260 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,702 Hi-ya! 261 00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:14,627 She's not here! 262 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:17,087 She couldn't have gotten far. We have to find her! 263 00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:20,007 I see her! No, that's Greg. 264 00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:22,426 Hey, newsman, have you seen Danuta? 265 00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:25,429 Who? - Danuta! What, are you new here? 266 00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:26,514 There's tracks! 267 00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:30,726 Those are Danuta's paws, for sure. And it leads right to... 268 00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:32,937 Ahhh! Raccoon! 269 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:41,904 I wish I could just be in the show. That's all I ever really wanted, 270 00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:45,157 {\an8}to have best friends who love me no matter what. 271 00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:47,493 I want to be a Big City Honey. 272 00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:59,129 - Am I... - Late for breakfast? 273 00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:00,506 Yeah, Hayley, you are. 274 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:04,552 But I get it. Max is trying to cook again. 275 00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:11,141 Breakfast is served. 276 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,669 Hey, I'm not that bad of a cook. 277 00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:42,089 Your food gives my heartburn heartburn. 278 00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:45,885 Hello, 911? I'd like to report a bad frittata. 279 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:49,930 Well, my life is over. 280 00:14:50,472 --> 00:14:53,851 I just ran into my boss while I was doing the walk of shame. 281 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:57,396 Lexi, are you part camel? Because you sure love to hump! 282 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:02,401 Yeah, you've had more Plan Bs than an over-prepared scout leader. 283 00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:06,196 All I know is, I need a daiquiri. 284 00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:07,990 I'll take one too! 285 00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:12,995 Queef! You know we have a door. 286 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:16,332 - Yeah, but you lock your door. - Exacta-mundo. 287 00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:20,669 It's almost summer. Who wants to help me with my manscaping? 288 00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:23,464 I need to trim down the winter bush. 289 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,301 Razor? Try a weed whacker. 290 00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,262 God, I love being here. 291 00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:32,765 I used to think there was something wrong with me 292 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,600 and I could never keep any of my friends, 293 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,187 but being here makes me see that I was never the problem. 294 00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:40,189 Uh, overshare much? 295 00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:45,319 It's probably my date. Hayley, get the door. 296 00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,988 Moo. 297 00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:52,701 Jeez, Hayley. Rude much? 298 00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:56,413 Everyone, this is my cow. 299 00:15:57,247 --> 00:16:00,501 Holy cow! This is udder madness. 300 00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:05,464 Personally, I prefer Louis Vuitton to emotional baggage. 301 00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:09,969 What is going on in there? 302 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,261 Mr. Orlando! 303 00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,138 There's no pets allowed in the building. 304 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,724 If we get evicted, I'll lose you all. 305 00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:19,228 Whoa, someone forgot her chill pill this morning. 306 00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:24,066 Everyone, shut up! This is serious. I am not around! 307 00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:27,653 Do I look like I'm around? Because I assure you, I am not! 308 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:31,490 Hayley, are you part witch? Because you love to curse. 309 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:35,035 Why is everyone acting like this is some joke? 310 00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:38,580 I told you this was a bad idea. 311 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:41,291 I am not gonna let you screw this up for me! 312 00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:42,918 You can't hide me forever, Hayley. 313 00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:46,005 I may sleep standing up, but I won't stand for this! 314 00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:51,802 You girls think I'm pretty dumb. 315 00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:55,723 Now, something's going on in here, and I know what it is. 316 00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:59,143 You girls are flushing tampons again! 317 00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:02,521 Jeez, Mr. Orlando. What is with you and tampons? 318 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:05,441 I've been unhappily married for 30 years, 319 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:08,277 so I think I know women. 320 00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:10,487 And they love flushing tampons! 321 00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:14,158 What was that? 322 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:18,162 Get real, buddy. You're not getting into that bathroom. 323 00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,830 Not without a goddamn warrant. 324 00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:23,667 I actually think I saw a tampon in this bucket. 325 00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:25,335 You did? Let me see. 326 00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:34,470 See? Nothing going on in there. 327 00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:37,514 What is that racket? 328 00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:40,809 Nothing! And whatever it is, I'm trying to repress it. 329 00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:44,813 Moo! 330 00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:48,400 Damn, that cow is yoked! 331 00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:52,738 Ahhh! 332 00:17:53,822 --> 00:17:57,493 I married the wrong cow. My wife never gives me head. 333 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,288 You can't hide me anymore! 334 00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:05,292 You're fighting a losing battle with your cattle! 335 00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:07,503 I can't believe you ruined this. 336 00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:10,881 This was my dream. You ruin everything! 337 00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:13,342 You're the reason I've never been able to keep friends! 338 00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:14,843 I hate you! 339 00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:21,308 What the hell is going on here? 340 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,561 Hayley, I warned you not to do that therapy without me! 341 00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:25,979 Why is the cow crying? 342 00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:27,564 Probably a Knicks fan. 343 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:32,778 Okay, that's hilarious. And true, the Knicks are terrible. 344 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:36,573 I think. I don't really follow the sport, if indeed it is a sport. 345 00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:38,575 Roger, why are you here? 346 00:18:38,575 --> 00:18:41,078 I'm here to help you, Hayley. Don't you see? 347 00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:43,580 By trying to hide your negative thoughts, 348 00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:45,374 you only made your cow bigger. 349 00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:48,669 Why did you ever think you could get rid of something that's part of you? 350 00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:51,588 You told me I could! It was your therapy! 351 00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:53,257 Paid for with a Groupon. 352 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:55,342 What do I need to do to fix this mess? 353 00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:58,512 Hayley, your cow is only trying to protect you. 354 00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,848 It's true. 355 00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:04,184 Instead of hiding, ignoring, or fighting with your cow, 356 00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:05,561 you need to accept it. 357 00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:07,980 You can't make those negative thoughts go away, 358 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:11,316 but you can learn to acknowledge them and let them pass. 359 00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:14,236 Love your cow, but don't let it control you. 360 00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:18,532 Being a Big City Honey means embracing every part of yourself... 361 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:21,702 Lady, I got this. Smooch your cow. 362 00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:25,372 Ew! Gross, I was joking! 363 00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:27,916 You didn't really need to do that, but it was hilarious. 364 00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:29,042 Come on, time to go. 365 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:36,300 Whoa. That was intense. Thanks, Dr. P. 366 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,676 No problemo, Hayley. 367 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:40,762 But next time we go into a show, can it be Silver Spoons? 368 00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:42,514 I wanna ride that little train. 369 00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:46,727 Ooh! Cheese and Brita water. Were you having the queen over? 370 00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:48,228 That reminds me, I should go. 371 00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:50,314 I need to make things right with my friends. 372 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:51,398 Cool. 373 00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:55,652 Back to work. 374 00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:58,030 Oh, yeah. 375 00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:03,952 Well, Rub Rub Tuggington's business is ruined. I might as well watch. 376 00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:06,246 You know what? The name's kind of growing on me. 377 00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:07,539 Can you leave, Roger? 378 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:09,124 How about instead of leaving, 379 00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:11,835 we have a race to see who can finish first? 380 00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:13,128 You're on! 381 00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:20,594 Hey, I'm so sorry that I ruined our night. 382 00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:23,555 I was just so nervous because I like you guys so much, 383 00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:25,098 and I think you're so cool... 384 00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:27,309 Whoa! Slow down there, girl. 385 00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:29,603 Let me slow down. 386 00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:32,564 I guess you could say I got a little too in my own head. 387 00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:36,026 Hayley, you don't have to be nervous or apologize for being weird. 388 00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:38,904 {\an8}Yeah, you have a husband and a job. 389 00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:41,698 {\an8}We think you're the one who's got it all figured out. 390 00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:43,909 {\an8}Really? Wow! I had no idea. 391 00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:49,122 {\an8}Danuta! Danuta! 392 00:20:49,122 --> 00:20:52,459 {\an8}I have to tell you something, Danuta! 393 00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:55,254 {\an8}What? What is it, Klaus? 394 00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:57,673 {\an8}Uh... 395 00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:00,926 {\an8}Hey.