1 00:00:01,279 --> 00:00:02,712 [Crickets chirping] 2 00:00:04,249 --> 00:00:05,615 [Both gasp] 3 00:00:05,617 --> 00:00:07,050 [Both sigh] 4 00:00:07,052 --> 00:00:09,786 And with the ceremonial Dutch oven completed, 5 00:00:09,788 --> 00:00:12,522 another Steve and Roger sleepover begins. 6 00:00:12,950 --> 00:00:14,323 What do you want to do next? 7 00:00:14,325 --> 00:00:15,403 - Jerk off? - What? 8 00:00:15,427 --> 00:00:16,245 Probably too early. 9 00:00:16,328 --> 00:00:18,299 We have even eaten our bagel bites yet. 10 00:00:18,330 --> 00:00:20,430 Steve's mom? Where are the bites? 11 00:00:20,432 --> 00:00:21,403 We can play some games 12 00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,633 on the vintage Macintosh we've been rebuilding. 13 00:00:23,635 --> 00:00:26,269 Dang! But we still need the mouse. 14 00:00:26,271 --> 00:00:28,471 Guess what came today? 15 00:00:28,473 --> 00:00:31,274 No! No way! 16 00:00:32,049 --> 00:00:35,645 Number Munchers, Dark Castle, Motorcycle Mayhem? 17 00:00:35,647 --> 00:00:38,081 Surprise me. 18 00:00:38,083 --> 00:00:39,949 [Beeps] 19 00:00:40,568 --> 00:00:41,284 What's this? 20 00:00:41,286 --> 00:00:43,052 It's Oregon Trail. 21 00:00:43,054 --> 00:00:44,887 You play as a family of pioneers 22 00:00:44,889 --> 00:00:46,823 trying to survive on the frontier. 23 00:00:46,825 --> 00:00:48,658 Um, can we play something else? 24 00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:50,093 Come on, it'll be great. 25 00:00:50,095 --> 00:00:52,228 If we beat Oregon Trail, 26 00:00:52,230 --> 00:00:55,731 we get to print out a certificate. 27 00:00:55,733 --> 00:00:56,999 Toshi got one. 28 00:00:57,001 --> 00:00:59,001 Carries it in his wallet instead of a condom. 29 00:00:59,003 --> 00:01:00,602 He's been drowning in muff. 30 00:01:00,605 --> 00:01:03,706 Well, he's straightedge, so he just makes out a lot. 31 00:01:03,708 --> 00:01:06,676 Oh, here we go. Time to hit the trail! 32 00:01:06,678 --> 00:01:09,579 [Beeping] 33 00:01:09,581 --> 00:01:11,514 Oh, we lost Dad. 34 00:01:11,516 --> 00:01:13,149 Stan's gone? 35 00:01:13,151 --> 00:01:14,750 - [Beeping] 36 00:01:14,752 --> 00:01:16,185 [Keyboard clacking] 37 00:01:16,187 --> 00:01:17,620 - [Beeping] 38 00:01:17,622 --> 00:01:18,821 [Keyboard clacking] 39 00:01:18,823 --> 00:01:21,124 [Computerized jingle] 40 00:01:21,126 --> 00:01:23,126 - [Beeping] 41 00:01:23,128 --> 00:01:24,594 Sleepover's canceled. 42 00:01:24,596 --> 00:01:26,295 What? It just started. 43 00:01:26,297 --> 00:01:28,164 Dad hasn't even burst in in his underwear 44 00:01:28,166 --> 00:01:30,166 and told us to "Shut the [bleep] up or else." 45 00:01:30,168 --> 00:01:32,768 All right, boys, don't stay up too late tonight. 46 00:01:32,770 --> 00:01:35,004 We have family picture day tomorrow. 47 00:01:36,274 --> 00:01:39,342 Full disclosure. Between the kitchen and here, 48 00:01:39,344 --> 00:01:42,078 that's actually the fourth time I dropped these. 49 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,547 ♪ 50 00:01:44,549 --> 00:01:47,049 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 51 00:01:47,051 --> 00:01:50,920 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 52 00:01:50,922 --> 00:01:54,023 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 53 00:01:54,025 --> 00:01:58,728 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 54 00:02:00,198 --> 00:02:03,766 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 55 00:02:03,768 --> 00:02:06,335 - ♪ Good... ♪ - ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 56 00:02:06,337 --> 00:02:07,770 Aah! 57 00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:12,074 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 58 00:02:14,512 --> 00:02:15,866 Chomp, chomp, chomp! 59 00:02:15,914 --> 00:02:18,581 Still don't have a smile from Junior over there. 60 00:02:18,583 --> 00:02:20,950 - Chomp, chomp, chomp! - Haha-ahoho! 61 00:02:20,952 --> 00:02:23,619 The shark ate his nose! You guys seeing this? 62 00:02:23,621 --> 00:02:26,255 Roger, I spent over $3,000 63 00:02:26,257 --> 00:02:28,892 on these damn denim outfits... just smile. 64 00:02:28,994 --> 00:02:30,106 Smile for what? 65 00:02:30,128 --> 00:02:33,563 A photo I can look at in 1,000 years when you're all dead?! 66 00:02:33,565 --> 00:02:35,498 Before you got bitten by a snake?! 67 00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:36,699 A snake? 68 00:02:36,701 --> 00:02:38,501 Oh, God, what's gonna happen?! 69 00:02:38,503 --> 00:02:40,570 Are you talking about Oregon Trail? 70 00:02:40,572 --> 00:02:43,439 - It was only a game. - No, it's not! 71 00:02:43,441 --> 00:02:45,408 'Cause even if you don't drown or starve to death, 72 00:02:45,410 --> 00:02:48,177 you're human, so I'm gonna outlive you all! 73 00:02:48,179 --> 00:02:49,579 What? 74 00:02:49,581 --> 00:02:51,981 I don't need some denim-clad reminder 75 00:02:51,983 --> 00:02:54,817 of when I was stupid enough to care about you! 76 00:02:54,819 --> 00:02:56,886 [Crying] 77 00:02:56,888 --> 00:02:59,088 - Stan? - I got this. 78 00:02:59,090 --> 00:03:01,557 Hey, uh, you know, I'd love to see more of you. 79 00:03:01,559 --> 00:03:03,659 If you ever want to go out and need a wingman, 80 00:03:04,362 --> 00:03:08,030 you know, this comes off. 81 00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:13,849 I'm really worried about Roger, hun. 82 00:03:13,851 --> 00:03:15,184 I know what'll cheer him up. 83 00:03:15,186 --> 00:03:17,453 One of my patented funny faces. 84 00:03:17,455 --> 00:03:21,924 [Making goofy noises] 85 00:03:21,926 --> 00:03:23,559 Stan, watch the road! 86 00:03:23,561 --> 00:03:24,827 My eyes are stuck! 87 00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:26,662 [Tires squealing, all screaming] 88 00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:29,332 [Crash] 89 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:34,036 ♪ 90 00:03:34,038 --> 00:03:36,072 Francine! 91 00:03:36,074 --> 00:03:42,378 ♪ 92 00:03:42,380 --> 00:03:44,647 Dad... Roger! 93 00:03:44,649 --> 00:03:46,849 ♪ 94 00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:48,684 Roger, get out of there! 95 00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:53,422 ♪ 96 00:03:53,424 --> 00:03:55,391 [Hoarsely] Good-bye. 97 00:03:57,195 --> 00:04:00,162 [All screaming] 98 00:04:03,468 --> 00:04:06,168 - I miss you every day, Roger. 99 00:04:06,170 --> 00:04:08,571 The other night, I got in the sleeping bag 100 00:04:08,573 --> 00:04:10,039 and Dutch ovened myself. 101 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,408 For a moment, I thought I could smell you. 102 00:04:12,410 --> 00:04:15,711 Then I realized you shit the sleeping bag last year. 103 00:04:15,713 --> 00:04:17,913 Anyway, sorry it's just me. 104 00:04:19,115 --> 00:04:21,283 The family's not exactly coping well. 105 00:04:21,285 --> 00:04:24,754 [Grunting] 106 00:04:24,756 --> 00:04:27,323 I want to talk about Roger. I miss him. 107 00:04:27,325 --> 00:04:30,659 Steve, you need to move on and deal with Roger's death 108 00:04:30,661 --> 00:04:32,661 in a healthy way like the rest of us have. 109 00:04:32,663 --> 00:04:35,264 Yeah! Dad's got his mustache, 110 00:04:35,266 --> 00:04:37,233 I'm deep into street fighting, 111 00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,635 and Mom's got her hair and cigarettes goin'. 112 00:04:39,637 --> 00:04:41,270 [Exhales] 113 00:04:41,272 --> 00:04:42,805 What's the point, Steve? 114 00:04:42,807 --> 00:04:44,206 Roger's dead. 115 00:04:44,208 --> 00:04:47,743 All that's left of him is our pasta claw. 116 00:04:49,514 --> 00:04:52,181 Thanks again for adjusting the handlebars. 117 00:04:52,183 --> 00:04:54,083 Arms are still regenerating. 118 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,985 Of course, we get that all the time. 119 00:04:55,987 --> 00:04:58,554 This model doesn't have a sidecar option, correct? 120 00:04:58,556 --> 00:04:59,822 Unfortunately, no. 121 00:04:59,824 --> 00:05:01,424 Good. Got no need for one. 122 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:04,126 You see, I'm a lone wolf. A renegade. 123 00:05:04,128 --> 00:05:05,861 Had a need for a sidecar once, 124 00:05:05,863 --> 00:05:09,765 but no longer do I have... a need... for one. 125 00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:11,133 Super. 126 00:05:11,135 --> 00:05:13,269 Turned my back on that way of life. 127 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,204 Gonna stop caring about people. 128 00:05:15,206 --> 00:05:16,972 'Cause when you care about people, 129 00:05:16,974 --> 00:05:18,808 you care when they're gone. 130 00:05:18,810 --> 00:05:20,910 Pretty cool, man. 131 00:05:20,912 --> 00:05:22,144 - [Starts engine] - Renegade! 132 00:05:24,682 --> 00:05:26,782 Not cool, man. 133 00:05:28,618 --> 00:05:30,417 ♪ 134 00:05:30,419 --> 00:05:32,286 Roger: I was a man with a family, 135 00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:35,022 who realized I was going to outlive that family. 136 00:05:35,024 --> 00:05:38,592 So I cut ties, got loose... loose as a goose. 137 00:05:38,594 --> 00:05:39,960 Set out on my own, 138 00:05:39,962 --> 00:05:42,129 keeping everybody at goose-length distance. 139 00:05:42,131 --> 00:05:45,833 They're the world's longest bird if you pull hard enough. 140 00:05:45,835 --> 00:05:47,067 Whoa! 141 00:05:47,069 --> 00:05:48,969 [Screaming] 142 00:05:48,971 --> 00:05:50,571 ♪ 143 00:05:50,573 --> 00:05:53,807 So like I was saying, I'm a renegade. 144 00:05:53,809 --> 00:05:55,342 Movin' from town to town, 145 00:05:55,344 --> 00:05:57,578 helpin' people who can't help themselves... 146 00:05:57,580 --> 00:05:58,879 Whoa, cow skull! 147 00:05:58,881 --> 00:06:00,848 [Screams] 148 00:06:00,850 --> 00:06:04,151 ♪ 149 00:06:04,613 --> 00:06:06,644 Three wheels. So safe. 150 00:06:06,679 --> 00:06:08,155 Makes way more sense. 151 00:06:11,060 --> 00:06:12,660 [Crickets chirping] 152 00:06:12,662 --> 00:06:14,295 [Clears throat] 153 00:06:14,297 --> 00:06:17,131 So, um, you know how I'm the only one 154 00:06:17,133 --> 00:06:18,599 who answers the phone anymore? 155 00:06:18,601 --> 00:06:20,637 [Southern accent] Does it hurt your arm, 156 00:06:20,737 --> 00:06:25,839 pattin' yourself on the back all day, Mr. Fancy Phone Guy? 157 00:06:25,841 --> 00:06:28,575 [Chuckles] That's an interesting accent, Mama. 158 00:06:28,577 --> 00:06:32,279 But I-I got a call today saying someone charged 159 00:06:32,281 --> 00:06:34,315 $31,000 worth of motorcycles 160 00:06:34,317 --> 00:06:36,750 to Dad's credit card in Missouri. 161 00:06:36,752 --> 00:06:38,419 Don't you mean Miz-oor-uh? 162 00:06:38,421 --> 00:06:40,454 Wh-What I mean is, it's weird. 163 00:06:40,456 --> 00:06:43,761 What's also weird is, the same week, a single man, 164 00:06:43,860 --> 00:06:46,193 calling himself "René Gade" 165 00:06:46,195 --> 00:06:49,029 crashed six motorcycles within a four-mile stretch 166 00:06:49,031 --> 00:06:50,531 outside of St. Louis. 167 00:06:50,533 --> 00:06:52,466 D-Doesn't that sound like something Roger would... 168 00:06:52,468 --> 00:06:55,502 Roger's dead, Steve! You need to accept it like we have! 169 00:06:55,504 --> 00:06:58,238 [Southern accent] Try doin' something with your life, boy! 170 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,661 Even that scumbag Klaus turned Roger's attic 171 00:07:00,743 --> 00:07:02,743 into a neighborhood bodega. 172 00:07:02,745 --> 00:07:05,279 We've all moved on! 173 00:07:05,281 --> 00:07:07,481 - Miz-oor-uh! - We've all moved on! 174 00:07:07,483 --> 00:07:08,949 - Grow a mustache! - Miz-oor-uh! 175 00:07:08,951 --> 00:07:10,484 - We've all moved on! - Miz-oor-uh! 176 00:07:10,486 --> 00:07:12,052 - Grow a mustache! - Miz-oor-uh! 177 00:07:12,054 --> 00:07:13,587 - We've all moved on! - Grow a mustache! 178 00:07:13,589 --> 00:07:14,850 Miz-oor-uh! 179 00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:18,859 You think it's easy to run a bodega? 180 00:07:18,861 --> 00:07:20,427 Sure, it looks sexy as hell, 181 00:07:20,429 --> 00:07:22,629 with all my dusty cans and the smell of 182 00:07:22,631 --> 00:07:25,899 wet mango blunt wraps wafting over the big roll of scratchers. 183 00:07:25,901 --> 00:07:28,769 But behind the oldest boxes of cat food in town 184 00:07:28,771 --> 00:07:32,072 is a man who is under constant siege by shoplifters 185 00:07:32,074 --> 00:07:33,574 and thieves like you! 186 00:07:33,576 --> 00:07:36,610 Klaus, I'm just saying that last time printouts were $1. 187 00:07:36,612 --> 00:07:39,046 It's always been $2 per printout, bro. 188 00:07:39,048 --> 00:07:40,481 Read the sign. 189 00:07:42,318 --> 00:07:44,318 - [Bell jingles] - Get out! 190 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,388 I don't like having two people in here at once. 191 00:07:50,426 --> 00:07:52,893 [Thinking] This guy's got sticky fingers. 192 00:07:52,895 --> 00:07:54,561 I'm sure of it. 193 00:07:55,598 --> 00:07:57,486 May I help you find something? 194 00:07:57,567 --> 00:07:59,032 The exit perhaps? 195 00:07:59,034 --> 00:08:01,468 Are these 64-ounce Arizona Iced Teas 196 00:08:01,470 --> 00:08:03,003 the biggest ones you have? 197 00:08:03,005 --> 00:08:06,407 Let me check in the back. 198 00:08:06,409 --> 00:08:09,438 Nice try, shit eyes. I know your game. 199 00:08:09,473 --> 00:08:11,803 I go behind that door, and you run off 200 00:08:11,838 --> 00:08:14,715 with a Duraflame and a pocket bottle of Rumple Minze. 201 00:08:14,717 --> 00:08:16,283 - What? - Get out! 202 00:08:16,285 --> 00:08:17,885 You want a bigger iced tea?! 203 00:08:17,887 --> 00:08:19,486 Well, I want the health department 204 00:08:19,488 --> 00:08:21,255 to let me reopen my deli counter! 205 00:08:21,257 --> 00:08:24,324 I want to be balls-deep in egg salad! 206 00:08:24,326 --> 00:08:26,093 I want to be able to brag 207 00:08:26,095 --> 00:08:29,596 that this is a Boar's Head establishment again! 208 00:08:29,598 --> 00:08:32,132 ♪ 209 00:08:34,203 --> 00:08:35,379 All right, listen up! 210 00:08:35,438 --> 00:08:39,006 There's a new renegade in town and he's hungry for 'gading! 211 00:08:39,008 --> 00:08:40,541 Now who has an injustice? 212 00:08:40,543 --> 00:08:43,844 Well, there is a local biker gang that's been terrorizing us. 213 00:08:43,846 --> 00:08:45,646 Well, not anymore. 214 00:08:46,369 --> 00:08:47,381 Something to eat? 215 00:08:47,383 --> 00:08:50,117 Thought I'd finish up these fries. 216 00:08:50,119 --> 00:08:52,453 - Those are cold. - I'm a renegade. 217 00:08:52,455 --> 00:08:55,756 I like my fries cold and my beers smokin' hot. 218 00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:58,625 [Whispers] That's them! 219 00:08:58,627 --> 00:08:59,726 A-Are you sure? 220 00:08:59,728 --> 00:09:02,396 I can't renegade unless you're 100% sure. 221 00:09:02,398 --> 00:09:04,264 I'm sure, I'm sure. 222 00:09:04,266 --> 00:09:06,633 It sounds like you're saying "unsure"... 223 00:09:08,724 --> 00:09:09,703 - Whoa! - Aah! 224 00:09:09,705 --> 00:09:10,804 [Crash] 225 00:09:10,806 --> 00:09:13,707 You picked the wrong day to come in here! 226 00:09:13,709 --> 00:09:15,976 We got us a renegade! 227 00:09:15,978 --> 00:09:18,679 Mm, mm, mm! 228 00:09:18,681 --> 00:09:21,415 The fries are so good! 229 00:09:21,417 --> 00:09:24,051 Who's the renegade? This guy? 230 00:09:24,053 --> 00:09:25,252 - [Grunts] - Argh! 231 00:09:25,254 --> 00:09:27,654 Please, sir, help us! 232 00:09:27,656 --> 00:09:29,923 Fries, fries, fries, fries, fries. 233 00:09:29,925 --> 00:09:31,124 [Woman screaming] 234 00:09:31,126 --> 00:09:34,361 [All shouting] 235 00:09:34,363 --> 00:09:37,798 Ugh! You promised to help us. 236 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,601 [Screams] 237 00:09:40,603 --> 00:09:42,636 [Blows landing] 238 00:09:42,638 --> 00:09:47,174 You're a coward. 239 00:09:47,176 --> 00:09:49,576 Would a coward do this? 240 00:09:50,513 --> 00:09:54,414 - ♪ 241 00:09:54,416 --> 00:09:56,016 [Crickets chirping] 242 00:09:56,018 --> 00:09:59,985 ♪ 243 00:10:01,390 --> 00:10:04,391 Where are you going, Roger? 244 00:10:08,964 --> 00:10:11,064 ♪ 245 00:10:11,066 --> 00:10:14,234 He's riding the Oregon Trail! 246 00:10:14,236 --> 00:10:17,938 Ore-gone? Ore-ginn? 247 00:10:17,940 --> 00:10:20,707 Trail? Treal? 248 00:10:20,709 --> 00:10:23,243 Man, everything is sounding weird to me. 249 00:10:23,245 --> 00:10:24,912 My name is Steve. 250 00:10:24,914 --> 00:10:27,614 Steeeve. 251 00:10:27,616 --> 00:10:29,783 Stoive? 252 00:10:31,687 --> 00:10:36,123 Work hard, play hard, it's the renegade way. 253 00:10:36,539 --> 00:10:39,226 Hello? Anybody there? 254 00:10:43,465 --> 00:10:45,666 "Wanted, renegade. 255 00:10:45,668 --> 00:10:48,835 Minimal bravery and motorcycle skills required." 256 00:10:48,837 --> 00:10:50,037 Yes! 257 00:10:50,039 --> 00:10:51,972 Uh, hello? 258 00:10:51,974 --> 00:10:55,475 Damn it, wrong side. 259 00:10:55,477 --> 00:10:57,744 Bluh-luh-luh-luh. 260 00:10:58,914 --> 00:11:01,648 Ech, should've parked closer. 261 00:11:04,153 --> 00:11:05,419 Stoive?! 262 00:11:05,421 --> 00:11:07,688 Roger! I knew you were alive! 263 00:11:07,690 --> 00:11:10,691 Why'd you do this? Roger, we're your family. 264 00:11:10,693 --> 00:11:12,359 Well, it's better if you're not! 265 00:11:12,361 --> 00:11:13,760 Because when you love something 266 00:11:13,762 --> 00:11:15,996 and you know you're gonna lose it, it hurts! 267 00:11:15,998 --> 00:11:17,464 And I can't keep doing it! 268 00:11:17,466 --> 00:11:20,701 - Keep doing it? - I loved another family once. 269 00:11:20,703 --> 00:11:22,102 As much as you guys. 270 00:11:22,104 --> 00:11:23,971 They were pioneers... 271 00:11:23,973 --> 00:11:25,339 Wait a minute. 272 00:11:25,341 --> 00:11:27,604 I thought you landed in Roswell in the '40s. 273 00:11:27,676 --> 00:11:28,595 The second time. 274 00:11:28,611 --> 00:11:30,611 The first time, I was with my Aunt Carolynn. 275 00:11:30,613 --> 00:11:32,446 She had always been a bad driver. 276 00:11:32,448 --> 00:11:34,715 A little thing like her nephew's Nerf football 277 00:11:34,717 --> 00:11:37,317 bouncing on the light speed button and she was all, 278 00:11:37,319 --> 00:11:39,186 "Blaah! Brace for impact!" 279 00:11:39,188 --> 00:11:40,954 She was killed instantly. 280 00:11:40,956 --> 00:11:42,990 [Gasps] Oh, my God, that's terrible! 281 00:11:42,992 --> 00:11:45,492 Oh! Are we... Are we both telling this story? 282 00:11:45,494 --> 00:11:46,727 No? Okay, then. 283 00:11:46,729 --> 00:11:49,029 Now, without further interruption... 284 00:11:49,031 --> 00:11:49,880 where was I? 285 00:11:50,032 --> 00:11:52,933 Damn. Uch, forget it! 286 00:11:52,935 --> 00:11:54,768 Nah, nah, it's a good story, I'm gonna finish it. 287 00:11:54,770 --> 00:11:57,537 Anyway, that's when I met the Meekers, 288 00:11:57,539 --> 00:11:59,580 a family of fur trappers. 289 00:12:01,076 --> 00:12:04,578 They took me in, treated me as one of their own, 290 00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:07,814 and I joined them on their trip to Oregon. 291 00:12:07,816 --> 00:12:10,317 ♪ 292 00:12:10,319 --> 00:12:13,987 Things were going great till one of our wagon wheels popped off. 293 00:12:13,989 --> 00:12:19,693 ♪ 294 00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:23,363 That was an incredibly long hill. 295 00:12:23,365 --> 00:12:24,698 And I was exhausted. 296 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:27,000 But I was in better shape than the Meekers. 297 00:12:27,002 --> 00:12:29,418 ♪ 298 00:12:38,514 --> 00:12:40,313 Roger, I'm so sorry. 299 00:12:40,315 --> 00:12:42,282 Now it makes sense why you're out here 300 00:12:42,284 --> 00:12:44,051 retracing the Oregon Trail. 301 00:12:44,053 --> 00:12:46,520 I am? I had no idea. 302 00:12:46,522 --> 00:12:48,555 I thought I was just following Soul Asylum 303 00:12:48,557 --> 00:12:50,857 from county fair to county fair. 304 00:12:50,859 --> 00:12:53,427 But playing Oregon Trail with you 305 00:12:53,429 --> 00:12:55,462 stirred up memories of the Meekers. 306 00:12:55,464 --> 00:12:58,999 And I realized I-I'm gonna outlive the Smiths, too. 307 00:12:59,001 --> 00:13:01,334 That's why I faked my death, hit the road, 308 00:13:01,336 --> 00:13:02,836 and became a famous renegade. 309 00:13:02,838 --> 00:13:05,572 But, Roger, people live so much longer now. 310 00:13:05,574 --> 00:13:07,741 I mean, with advancements in technology, 311 00:13:07,743 --> 00:13:09,543 who knows how long we'll be together. 312 00:13:09,545 --> 00:13:11,545 Technology, huh? 313 00:13:11,547 --> 00:13:13,380 Haven't really thought about that. 314 00:13:13,382 --> 00:13:14,715 It's a big deal these days, isn't it? 315 00:13:14,717 --> 00:13:17,317 What do you say? Ready to come home? 316 00:13:17,319 --> 00:13:19,519 Stop fretting about the time we don't have 317 00:13:19,521 --> 00:13:21,588 and start enjoying the time we do. 318 00:13:21,590 --> 00:13:23,890 Technology, baby! 319 00:13:23,892 --> 00:13:26,526 [Grunting] 320 00:13:26,528 --> 00:13:28,595 Look who I found! 321 00:13:28,597 --> 00:13:29,663 Yeah! 322 00:13:29,665 --> 00:13:31,031 - Roger! - You're alive! 323 00:13:31,033 --> 00:13:33,767 - Miz-oor-uh! - I'm sorry I left you guys, 324 00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:35,902 and I can't give you back the last year, 325 00:13:35,904 --> 00:13:37,904 although it looks like you all were doing great. 326 00:13:37,906 --> 00:13:41,108 What I can do is pick up right where we left off. 327 00:13:41,110 --> 00:13:42,476 The car accident? 328 00:13:42,478 --> 00:13:44,845 No, silly! Jerking off at our sleepover! 329 00:13:44,847 --> 00:13:46,580 I don't think that we agreed on that. 330 00:13:46,582 --> 00:13:50,050 All right, Steve, play it cool for your parents. 331 00:13:50,052 --> 00:13:52,219 [Crickets chirping] 332 00:13:52,221 --> 00:13:55,288 I thought we could start with a little Motorcycle Mayhem. 333 00:13:55,290 --> 00:13:58,859 Nah, come on big daddy, let's fire up that Dutch oven. 334 00:13:58,861 --> 00:14:01,895 Roger, I thought you'd never ask. 335 00:14:01,897 --> 00:14:03,163 [Screams] 336 00:14:03,165 --> 00:14:04,798 [Both grunting] 337 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,234 Oh, this boy is so strong! 338 00:14:07,236 --> 00:14:08,568 Roger, help! 339 00:14:08,570 --> 00:14:10,137 Hold on, buddy! 340 00:14:10,139 --> 00:14:12,305 There you go, Dr. Weitzman. 341 00:14:12,307 --> 00:14:16,643 ♪ 342 00:14:19,248 --> 00:14:22,015 Mom? Dad? Where are we? 343 00:14:22,017 --> 00:14:23,950 Roger: Oh, good. You're all awake. 344 00:14:23,952 --> 00:14:26,787 - Stan: What the hell? - You were right, Steve. 345 00:14:26,789 --> 00:14:28,789 With technology, I'll never have to worry 346 00:14:28,791 --> 00:14:30,457 about out-living you guys. 347 00:14:30,459 --> 00:14:33,560 You'll be safe and sound inside my Macintosh. 348 00:14:33,562 --> 00:14:35,266 You mean our Macintosh! 349 00:14:35,564 --> 00:14:38,598 Seriously? That's your biggest concern right now? 350 00:14:41,909 --> 00:14:43,742 Roger, get us out of this computer! 351 00:14:43,744 --> 00:14:45,277 I'm putting my foot down! 352 00:14:45,279 --> 00:14:46,678 [Laughs] That's cute. 353 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:49,181 - But your foot's over here. - [All gasping] 354 00:14:49,183 --> 00:14:51,216 Why are you doing this to us?! 355 00:14:51,218 --> 00:14:52,584 It's for your own good! 356 00:14:52,586 --> 00:14:54,686 You used to live in these vulnerable bodies. 357 00:14:54,688 --> 00:14:57,622 Bodies break down. Look. 358 00:14:58,792 --> 00:15:00,425 Ugh! I'm gonna be sick. 359 00:15:00,427 --> 00:15:01,860 No, that's the point. 360 00:15:01,862 --> 00:15:03,729 You're never gonna be sick again. 361 00:15:03,731 --> 00:15:06,298 Thanks to technology, you'll live as long as me. 362 00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:08,200 Roger, this is not what I meant. 363 00:15:08,202 --> 00:15:09,701 You're so humble, Steve. 364 00:15:09,703 --> 00:15:12,003 But when you started blabbing about technology this 365 00:15:12,005 --> 00:15:14,639 and technology that, it dawned on me. 366 00:15:14,641 --> 00:15:16,708 If the CIA can put Klaus' mind 367 00:15:16,710 --> 00:15:18,810 in a fish's body or Stan's car, 368 00:15:18,812 --> 00:15:21,413 they should be able to put the family in a computer. 369 00:15:21,415 --> 00:15:23,215 And Dr. Weitzman agreed to this? 370 00:15:23,217 --> 00:15:23,973 Not at first. 371 00:15:23,985 --> 00:15:27,786 But it turns out Dr. Weitzman is a big fan of $20. 372 00:15:31,592 --> 00:15:33,625 [Thinking] Just my luck. 373 00:15:33,627 --> 00:15:36,428 Another scumbag thief. 374 00:15:37,931 --> 00:15:39,798 Do you have any bags of marshmallows 375 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:41,533 that aren't all melted together? 376 00:15:41,535 --> 00:15:43,168 - No! - That's fine. 377 00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:44,603 Probably packing heat. 378 00:15:44,605 --> 00:15:46,505 Getting robbed at gunpoint 379 00:15:46,507 --> 00:15:48,840 would be hell on my profit margins. 380 00:15:48,842 --> 00:15:50,709 Well, I'm ready to... 381 00:15:50,711 --> 00:15:52,978 My thin margins! 382 00:15:56,183 --> 00:15:58,083 I'm the health inspector. 383 00:15:59,086 --> 00:16:02,687 You can reopen your deli counter. 384 00:16:04,424 --> 00:16:06,324 What am I doing? 385 00:16:06,326 --> 00:16:08,760 I gotta call my Boar's Head guy! 386 00:16:08,762 --> 00:16:10,595 Hayley: I'm not trying to trick you, Roger. 387 00:16:10,597 --> 00:16:12,164 That sounded like a gunshot in the house. 388 00:16:12,166 --> 00:16:13,832 Ever since you've been in a computer, 389 00:16:13,834 --> 00:16:15,534 you think you know what every sound is. 390 00:16:15,536 --> 00:16:18,403 I'll go see what it actually was. 391 00:16:18,405 --> 00:16:20,005 Okay, guys, I got a plan. 392 00:16:20,007 --> 00:16:21,973 If we can get into MacPaint, 393 00:16:21,975 --> 00:16:24,743 we can get a message to Klaus to come save us. 394 00:16:24,745 --> 00:16:25,500 How? 395 00:16:25,546 --> 00:16:29,047 This computer is connected to the printer in his bodega. 396 00:16:31,718 --> 00:16:34,352 Hayley, you're the graffiti artist... start writing! 397 00:16:34,354 --> 00:16:36,955 - What? - You're... You're into graffiti, right? 398 00:16:36,957 --> 00:16:39,391 You and all the girls in your gang? 399 00:16:39,393 --> 00:16:40,759 I'm not in a gang. 400 00:16:40,761 --> 00:16:42,761 But you got the bandana... 401 00:16:42,763 --> 00:16:45,096 We're not very close, are we? 402 00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,567 Roger: Ah-ah-ah! 403 00:16:49,736 --> 00:16:51,837 And just to be safe... 404 00:16:53,473 --> 00:16:56,274 He has total control over us! 405 00:16:56,276 --> 00:16:58,143 Maybe not. 406 00:17:00,747 --> 00:17:02,781 [Gasps] You dick! 407 00:17:02,783 --> 00:17:05,984 Everyone, into the game! It's our only way out! 408 00:17:07,805 --> 00:17:09,588 No! It's suicide! 409 00:17:09,590 --> 00:17:12,891 ♪ 410 00:17:12,893 --> 00:17:15,393 If we beat this game, we can print out a message 411 00:17:15,395 --> 00:17:17,996 to Klaus on the certificate of completion. 412 00:17:17,998 --> 00:17:20,532 We've reached the Kansas River Crossing! 413 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,034 We can ford it, float it, 414 00:17:23,036 --> 00:17:24,803 or wait and see if conditions improve! 415 00:17:24,805 --> 00:17:26,605 Wait and see, wait and see... 416 00:17:26,607 --> 00:17:29,741 This family's built... ford tough! 417 00:17:29,743 --> 00:17:31,543 Dad, are you high?! 418 00:17:31,545 --> 00:17:33,712 I'll tell you what's high, Hayley. 419 00:17:33,714 --> 00:17:35,580 The heights you can soar to 420 00:17:35,582 --> 00:17:38,250 when you work together as a family... 421 00:17:38,585 --> 00:17:40,986 - [Computerized jingle] 422 00:17:40,988 --> 00:17:44,055 [Gasps] No! It's happening again! 423 00:17:44,057 --> 00:17:45,891 - [Beeping] 424 00:17:45,893 --> 00:17:47,158 It's just a game. 425 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,227 I-I didn't think we'd feel anything, 426 00:17:49,229 --> 00:17:53,098 but I now know how it feels to drown to death. 427 00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:55,200 Like a wicked-long keg stand! 428 00:17:55,202 --> 00:17:58,203 Come on, guys, we've got to beat this thing! 429 00:17:58,205 --> 00:18:00,438 [Oxen lowing] 430 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:06,177 ♪ 431 00:18:06,179 --> 00:18:08,246 [Screams] 432 00:18:08,248 --> 00:18:12,217 ♪ 433 00:18:12,219 --> 00:18:13,752 [Gasps] 434 00:18:13,754 --> 00:18:16,721 [Gasps] Aah! 435 00:18:16,723 --> 00:18:18,123 [Whimpers] 436 00:18:18,125 --> 00:18:20,091 [Whooping] 437 00:18:20,093 --> 00:18:22,661 ♪ 438 00:18:22,663 --> 00:18:24,362 Ah! 439 00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:28,333 ♪ 440 00:18:28,335 --> 00:18:29,768 Aah! 441 00:18:29,770 --> 00:18:31,703 ♪ 442 00:18:31,705 --> 00:18:34,706 [Screams] 443 00:18:34,708 --> 00:18:36,942 [Gasps] 444 00:18:36,944 --> 00:18:38,443 Ugh! 445 00:18:38,445 --> 00:18:40,278 Aah! 446 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:43,915 ♪ 447 00:18:43,917 --> 00:18:47,252 [Teeth chattering] 448 00:18:47,254 --> 00:18:48,687 Aah! 449 00:18:48,689 --> 00:18:51,289 ♪ 450 00:18:51,291 --> 00:18:53,625 - [Gasps] - Aah! 451 00:18:53,627 --> 00:18:59,431 ♪ 452 00:18:59,433 --> 00:19:02,701 Look! Over yonder! 453 00:19:02,703 --> 00:19:05,437 Francine: We made it to Oregon! 454 00:19:05,439 --> 00:19:07,906 - [Computerized jingle] 455 00:19:07,908 --> 00:19:10,642 Steve: Quick! Print... 456 00:19:10,644 --> 00:19:13,078 [Birds cawing] 457 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,914 [Thinking] All right, Klaus. You shot an unarmed man. 458 00:19:15,916 --> 00:19:17,515 Gotta make it seem like a shootout, 459 00:19:17,517 --> 00:19:19,918 then it'll be his word against yours. 460 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,854 Just a small chunk of fin. 461 00:19:24,658 --> 00:19:27,459 That's not gonna do it. Too small. 462 00:19:27,461 --> 00:19:28,793 [Screams] 463 00:19:28,795 --> 00:19:30,862 Oh, that's perfect. 464 00:19:30,864 --> 00:19:32,931 You can rest now, Klaus. 465 00:19:32,933 --> 00:19:36,501 Your margins are safe. 466 00:19:36,503 --> 00:19:37,836 [Doorbell rings] 467 00:19:37,838 --> 00:19:40,138 Man: Boar's Head! Boar's head delivery! 468 00:19:40,140 --> 00:19:42,841 Big round balls of turkey comin' in! 469 00:19:44,177 --> 00:19:46,411 Oh, my God! 470 00:19:46,413 --> 00:19:49,948 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 471 00:19:49,950 --> 00:19:51,549 OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod... 472 00:19:51,551 --> 00:19:54,519 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 473 00:19:54,521 --> 00:19:55,887 OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod... 474 00:19:55,889 --> 00:19:58,556 Ehh. Oh, my God. 475 00:19:58,558 --> 00:20:00,558 Ahh, my arm! 476 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,560 Di... Did Klaus save us? 477 00:20:02,562 --> 00:20:05,196 Oh, no, Klaus got shot up and robbed by some maniac. 478 00:20:05,198 --> 00:20:07,132 Then how are we back in our bodies? 479 00:20:07,134 --> 00:20:08,900 I think I know what happened. 480 00:20:08,902 --> 00:20:11,803 Roger saw us do what the Meekers couldn't. 481 00:20:11,805 --> 00:20:14,624 He saw us survive the Oregon Trail 482 00:20:14,659 --> 00:20:15,774 and was so impressed... 483 00:20:15,776 --> 00:20:18,109 Wrong! I pulled you out of the computer 484 00:20:18,111 --> 00:20:21,446 because I saw you die so many times, it desensitized me. 485 00:20:21,448 --> 00:20:22,947 Desensitized you? 486 00:20:22,949 --> 00:20:26,117 Yeah, I watched you die in every conceivable way. 487 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:27,385 Except for you, Francine, 488 00:20:27,387 --> 00:20:29,287 you just kept dying from dysentery. 489 00:20:29,289 --> 00:20:31,523 Couldn't stop drinking that mud water could you, 490 00:20:31,525 --> 00:20:32,924 you silly dumb-dumb? 491 00:20:32,926 --> 00:20:34,459 I was thirsty. 492 00:20:34,461 --> 00:20:35,994 So you're really cured? 493 00:20:35,996 --> 00:20:37,629 Yep, cured as a cucumber. 494 00:20:37,631 --> 00:20:40,365 The thought of you dying doesn't bother me at all anymore. 495 00:20:40,367 --> 00:20:43,201 Oh, Roger, that's all we could ever hope for! 496 00:20:43,203 --> 00:20:46,237 But when we are gone, we sure are gonna miss you, Roger. 497 00:20:46,239 --> 00:20:48,840 No, you'll be dead. You won't even know. 498 00:20:48,842 --> 00:20:50,340 I'll know. But I won't care. 499 00:20:50,498 --> 00:20:52,865 All right, Roger. We're happy you're back to normal, 500 00:20:52,867 --> 00:20:55,234 but let's try and be kind. 501 00:20:55,236 --> 00:20:58,471 I'll dance on your graves. 502 00:20:58,473 --> 00:20:59,918 Bye! Have a great time! 503 00:21:01,919 --> 00:21:03,919 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com