1
00:00:00,229 --> 00:00:02,463
Now we're going to throw it
to our local theater critic,
2
00:00:02,469 --> 00:00:04,002
Tony Tonington. Tony?
3
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,438
Mrs. Tyler's second-grade play,
4
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:07,906
"H Is For Horses,"
5
00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:10,041
is the kind of dinner theater dreck
6
00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:13,044
you might expect from some flyover town,
7
00:00:13,046 --> 00:00:15,113
not Langley Falls.
8
00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:18,382
I'd rather have ass-tearing
diarrhea than...
9
00:00:18,384 --> 00:00:20,652
Damn it, Tony, shut the hell up!
10
00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:22,787
I have just learned the
"Dinner Party Killer,"
11
00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:24,989
the mysterious man who
shows up at dinner parties
12
00:00:24,991 --> 00:00:27,459
and systematically kills
everyone in attendance,
13
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:28,993
has struck again.
14
00:00:28,995 --> 00:00:31,463
When Shelly Jenkins invited
friends over for dinner,
15
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:33,531
she had no idea her fondue party
16
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:36,400
would soon become a "fon-death" party.
17
00:00:36,402 --> 00:00:38,536
[Chuckles] "Fon-death."
18
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:40,338
Stupid.
19
00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:43,275
Ah, maybe you should cancel
your dinner party, Franny?
20
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:44,809
Absolutely not!
21
00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:47,279
I've been looking forward
to this for months.
22
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:51,149
I'm not about to let it get ruined
by some dumb-ass mass murderer.
23
00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:53,285
What's the likelihood he even
knows we're having a party?
24
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:55,353
And, speaking of dinner parties,
Francine,
25
00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:56,888
I'll see you tonight at yours.
26
00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:00,558
416 Cherry Street, Langley Falls, 23655.
27
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,761
Please take all your tampons out
of the downstairs guest bathroom.
28
00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:06,430
I don't like finding them
when I'm snooping around.
29
00:01:06,432 --> 00:01:09,653
♪♪
30
00:01:09,654 --> 00:01:15,854
♪♪
31
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:23,909
♪♪
32
00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:27,118
Guests should be arriving
any minute, Klaus.
33
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:27,919
How we looking?
34
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,787
Chef Klaus got your back, girl!
35
00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:34,125
I don't want to brag, but the last
place I worked had three Michelin tires.
36
00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:38,129
I knew I didn't need to hire
a fancy catering company.
37
00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:40,064
All right, Klaus. You've got this.
38
00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:42,466
Everything timed out to the second.
39
00:01:42,468 --> 00:01:44,669
No margin for error.
40
00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:47,339
Preheat oven?
How the [bleep] do I do that?
41
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:50,608
Francine, I'm going to have to
decline your invitation to the party.
42
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,410
I just found out Hayley
and Steve are going
43
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:53,678
and I hate talking to them.
44
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,547
Don't worry, I made a seating chart.
45
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:56,881
You're next to Lewis.
46
00:01:56,883 --> 00:01:59,283
Lewis, huh? Fine, I'll go.
47
00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,019
But if Hayley or Steve
try to talk to me,
48
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:03,688
I'm going to give you a very
subtle signal to bail me out.
49
00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:06,490
Like this... Aaaaaaah!
50
00:02:06,492 --> 00:02:07,910
So stay alert.
51
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:11,829
Damn, Fran.
52
00:02:11,831 --> 00:02:13,165
You've got this dinner party on lock.
53
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:16,234
Seating chart, nice china and...
[sniffs]
54
00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:19,571
Is that an aged Caciocavallo
podolico cheese?
55
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,906
What did you do with the cheese, Roger?
56
00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:23,575
Ha-ha, I switched it out
57
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:26,044
with a cave aged bleu from the Pyrenees.
58
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:27,845
Can you imagine if you were
telling everyone it was.
59
00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:30,782
Caciocavallo?
You would have looked so stupid!
60
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:33,718
Roger, can we take one night off
61
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,920
from the pranks and the meddling?
62
00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:38,256
I want my party to be perfect.
63
00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:39,791
Fine, I'll behave.
64
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,325
I swear on the Good Book.
65
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:42,927
That's "The Pelican Brief."
66
00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:45,329
- I'm sorry,great book.
- [Doorbell chimes]
67
00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:48,466
The guests are arriving.
Just one final touch.
68
00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:53,405
Every dinner party should have
at least one conversation piece.
69
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:55,539
Who's going to talk about a chandelier?
70
00:02:55,541 --> 00:02:58,142
You. Right now.
71
00:02:58,144 --> 00:02:59,536
Pew!
72
00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:04,949
Would anyone like to try
my signature cocktail?
73
00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:07,752
It'll knock your ass out.
74
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:09,687
[Lewis laughing]
75
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,689
Hi! My wife gave me a list of things
76
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:14,025
I'm not supposed to
talk about at the party.
77
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,428
Oh, no! The list is on the list.
78
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:20,231
Klaus, we're about ready
for those appetizers.
79
00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:21,900
Coming right up.
80
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:24,569
[Bleep, bleep, bleep],
I am so in the weeds.
81
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:27,305
You cheat your way through one season of
"Master Chef, Jr."
82
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:29,441
and you think you can cook anything.
83
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:32,243
Got to admit,
all this talk of a dinner party killer
84
00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:34,979
made me nervous about
a dinner party killer.
85
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:37,649
Oh, yeah, I think I read
something about that on the news.
86
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,250
We don't have to worry about that
87
00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:43,121
because I only invited our
oldest and dearest friends.
88
00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:46,524
- [Doorbell chimes]
- Speaking of.
89
00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:50,128
- Colonel Withersby!
- [Thunder crashing]
90
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:52,730
Good evening.
91
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:53,932
Sorry I'm late.
92
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:57,401
There's a dark storm closing in,
93
00:03:57,403 --> 00:04:00,738
so I brought all the
fixings for Dark & Stormys.
94
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,935
Uncle Colonel, you're here!
95
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:07,411
It's not a Smith family function
until the Colonel shows up.
96
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,747
I can't remember the last time
I came over to the Smiths'
97
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:11,415
and the Colonel wasn't in attendance.
98
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:14,418
He's been to every Smith Fourth
of July bash I've been to.
99
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,888
Not just the Fourth,
there's been nary an Easter
100
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,490
or Passover at the Smith house
101
00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:20,358
without the good Colonel showing up.
102
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,294
Three cheers for the Colonel.
103
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,296
All: Hip, hip, hooray!
104
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:26,097
Colonel, good to see you.
105
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:30,434
I hope your investments in
the Sahara are holding up.
106
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:31,636
Tuttle.
107
00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:34,172
You people still hang out with Tuttle?
108
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,107
[All laughing]
109
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,241
He's on fire.
110
00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:39,911
It's early and the Colonel
is already on fire.
111
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:42,314
Okay, Colonel, phone in the bag.
112
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:46,318
Rachael Ray says cell phones
will kill your dinner party.
113
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,853
I don't carry a cell phone,
114
00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:51,823
but I will give you my cigar
cutter and my iPod Touch.
115
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:56,060
Now, why don't we head to the
dining room for the first...
116
00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:58,881
Roger: Uh-oh, what's happening?
117
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:02,200
Oh, no! Where'd he go?
118
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:03,201
Where'd who go?
119
00:05:03,203 --> 00:05:04,669
Really? None of you see it?
120
00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:06,376
- See what?
- [Sighs]
121
00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:10,074
Okay, everyone look around,
get a good feel for the room,
122
00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:12,544
maybe take an extra
look at where Jeff is.
123
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,819
Everyone see it? Right here, Jeff? Good.
124
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:18,439
Uh-oh! What's happening?
125
00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:21,886
- Hey, Jeff's gone.
- Yes, thank you.
126
00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:24,756
Oh, my God!
It's the dinner party killer.
127
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:27,291
Damn it, Roger! You promised.
128
00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:29,828
[Theremin playing]
129
00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:34,632
First, Jeff disappears,
and now a theremin
130
00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:36,167
shows up out of nowhere?
131
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:39,070
The plot thickens. [Playing]
132
00:05:43,242 --> 00:05:44,375
Isn't this fun?
133
00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:46,444
Jeff's gone and we have
to figure out who did it?
134
00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:49,447
Roger, no one
wants to play your stupid game.
135
00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:50,648
I didn't take Jeff.
136
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:54,707
It could have been any one of you.
137
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,589
- Hayley: Roger!
- That's not supposed to happen.
138
00:05:58,591 --> 00:05:59,925
Tuttle is missing.
139
00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:01,392
Roger, enough!
140
00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:02,794
I - I didn't do this!
141
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:03,761
I didn't take Tuttle.
142
00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:05,763
I took Jeff, but not Tuttle.
143
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:07,499
I'll prove it.
144
00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:09,234
Look, he's fine.
145
00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:12,701
Hey, guys, Roger said
I have to stay in the closet
146
00:06:12,736 --> 00:06:15,354
because I'm dead.
Do I get to be alive, now?
147
00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:18,868
- Sorry, babe.
- It's okay.
148
00:06:18,903 --> 00:06:21,779
I've got my animal crackers
and my bathroom bucket.
149
00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:23,048
Now do you believe me?
150
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:26,315
No, all you've proven is that
you definitely did take Jeff.
151
00:06:26,350 --> 00:06:29,254
I think our boy has
got the Mumbai madness.
152
00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:32,590
We have two options:
Throw him in the galleys
153
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:34,860
or bleed it out of him.
154
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,194
Great idea, Colonel.
155
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,863
Let's lock him in the basement.
156
00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:40,332
[Thunderclap]
157
00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:42,600
You've got to believe me,
I didn't do this.
158
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:44,002
None of us are safe.
159
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:47,005
Roger, I'm done letting you
meddle with my dinner party.
160
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:48,206
Okay, I admit, I was meddling.
161
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:49,875
I'm a hardcore meddle-head.
162
00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:51,276
[Imitates guitar riff]
163
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:52,610
But I didn't take Tuttle.
164
00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:53,945
Please don't put me in the basement,
165
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,947
that's where the scary furnace is.
166
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,083
Colonel.
167
00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,951
Aah!
168
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,619
Oh, hello, furnace.
169
00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:04,823
I see your grille still looks
like a super scary, evil face.
170
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:09,895
Okay! Let's get this DP...
Dinner Party... back on track.
171
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:13,187
- Who wants mini quiches?
- Mini quiches?
172
00:07:13,222 --> 00:07:15,100
The sun has gone down, Mother.
173
00:07:16,584 --> 00:07:18,770
I've got to find something
to defend myself with.
174
00:07:19,833 --> 00:07:23,501
Lead pipe, wrench,
candlestick, Steve's diary?
175
00:07:23,503 --> 00:07:25,103
That should be juicy.
176
00:07:25,105 --> 00:07:28,239
"I have evidence that
Toshi is posing as a doctor
177
00:07:28,241 --> 00:07:30,108
and groping his patients."
178
00:07:30,110 --> 00:07:33,711
Note to self:
Make an appointment with Dr. Toshi.
179
00:07:33,713 --> 00:07:35,380
[Door creaks open]
180
00:07:35,382 --> 00:07:38,316
[Heavy footsteps]
181
00:07:38,318 --> 00:07:40,318
Oh, hey, you guys
finally come to your senses
182
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:41,853
and decide to let me out?
183
00:07:41,855 --> 00:07:44,189
Who are you, by the way?
I can't tell with that ski mask.
184
00:07:44,191 --> 00:07:46,724
Hey, you've got that lead pipe. Ow!
185
00:07:46,726 --> 00:07:49,194
What was that for? Ow!
Why are you doing this?
186
00:07:49,196 --> 00:07:51,271
We have a killer to catch. Ow!
187
00:07:51,306 --> 00:07:53,198
Okay, okay,
this is starting to not be funny.
188
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,867
Ow, ow, ow!
189
00:07:55,869 --> 00:07:59,103
Damn it, it's funny again. You got me.
190
00:08:01,141 --> 00:08:03,408
[Thunderclap]
191
00:08:05,523 --> 00:08:07,931
Fran [echoing]: Roger. Roger.
192
00:08:08,663 --> 00:08:09,948
Roger, are you okay?
193
00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:12,751
Roger: Uh, what... what happened?
194
00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:14,886
Did we all sleep together?
195
00:08:14,888 --> 00:08:18,222
No! The lights went out again
and now Greg is missing.
196
00:08:18,224 --> 00:08:21,093
Told you it wasn't me.
There's a maniac on the loose.
197
00:08:21,095 --> 00:08:24,362
We have to work together
to get out of this alive.
198
00:08:24,364 --> 00:08:26,230
Leave Steve behind, there's no time.
199
00:08:26,232 --> 00:08:27,766
I'm already back on my feet.
200
00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:30,102
Push him back down.
We've got to work together.
201
00:08:30,104 --> 00:08:33,571
♪♪
202
00:08:33,573 --> 00:08:36,641
To the car! [Gasps]
203
00:08:36,643 --> 00:08:40,312
Stay inside!
Leave this to the professionals.
204
00:08:40,314 --> 00:08:44,182
[Wind howling]
205
00:08:44,184 --> 00:08:46,918
Looks like we're stuck here.
206
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,921
[Gasps] The cell phones are gone.
207
00:08:49,923 --> 00:08:52,056
We can't leave. We can't call for help.
208
00:08:52,058 --> 00:08:54,859
If we hear a cool song,
we can't Shazam it.
209
00:08:54,861 --> 00:08:57,996
We're trapped. We're all at the
mercy of the "Dinner Party Killer."
210
00:08:57,998 --> 00:09:02,734
Unless one of us is the
"Dinner Party Killer."
211
00:09:02,736 --> 00:09:08,807
♪♪
212
00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:10,675
Oh, God, it could be any of us.
213
00:09:10,677 --> 00:09:12,276
How well does anyone know anyone?
214
00:09:12,278 --> 00:09:14,546
Well, it's not me. I'm a nice boy.
215
00:09:14,548 --> 00:09:17,149
It's not me. I'm a pacifist.
216
00:09:17,151 --> 00:09:18,883
- What?
- And it's not me,
217
00:09:18,885 --> 00:09:21,753
I'm the Colonel.
218
00:09:21,755 --> 00:09:23,622
- Of course.
- For sure, you're the Colonel.
219
00:09:23,624 --> 00:09:27,091
Perhaps we should split into
pairs and search the house.
220
00:09:27,093 --> 00:09:30,428
That way, if someone
comes back alone, jackpot.
221
00:09:30,430 --> 00:09:32,230
We'll know who the killer is.
222
00:09:32,232 --> 00:09:33,565
A perfect plan.
223
00:09:33,567 --> 00:09:35,700
We'll use my seating chart.
224
00:09:35,702 --> 00:09:38,102
That way, everybody gets
to search the house with,
225
00:09:38,104 --> 00:09:41,840
or get murdered by,
their perfect conversation partner.
226
00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:42,975
I love it.
227
00:09:42,977 --> 00:09:44,509
Roger's with Avery.
228
00:09:44,511 --> 00:09:46,310
Stan, you're with Lewis.
229
00:09:46,312 --> 00:09:47,512
Hayley's with me.
230
00:09:47,514 --> 00:09:49,581
That leaves Steve with the Colonel.
231
00:09:49,583 --> 00:09:51,316
Oh, yeah!
232
00:09:51,318 --> 00:09:53,585
Steve is going to live.
233
00:09:53,587 --> 00:09:55,787
♪ I'm going with the Colonel ♪
234
00:09:55,789 --> 00:09:58,256
♪ Going to be safe with the Colonel ♪
235
00:09:58,258 --> 00:10:01,593
Going to be alone with the Colonel...
236
00:10:01,595 --> 00:10:03,728
♪ Did you say something, Colonel? ♪
237
00:10:03,730 --> 00:10:06,064
♪ I didn't quite catch that, Colonel ♪
238
00:10:06,066 --> 00:10:08,466
The killer has got us
running around in circles.
239
00:10:08,468 --> 00:10:10,134
We need to stop and think.
240
00:10:10,136 --> 00:10:11,870
You know what helps me think?
241
00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:12,937
Drugs.
242
00:10:12,939 --> 00:10:14,606
Eight suspects.
243
00:10:14,608 --> 00:10:16,541
Well, I know it's not me.
244
00:10:16,543 --> 00:10:18,210
Seven suspects.
245
00:10:18,212 --> 00:10:20,879
I want a bunny.
246
00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:22,681
Six suspects.
247
00:10:22,683 --> 00:10:27,085
♪♪
248
00:10:27,087 --> 00:10:28,686
[Thud, Stan screams]
249
00:10:28,688 --> 00:10:31,489
Stan!
Your beloved Kevin James head shot.
250
00:10:31,491 --> 00:10:33,425
This whole
"murderer loose in my house" thing
251
00:10:33,427 --> 00:10:35,461
has got me pretty stressed out.
252
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:40,832
You know what the number one killer is?
253
00:10:40,834 --> 00:10:42,645
Stress.
254
00:10:43,770 --> 00:10:45,237
The killer could be anywhere.
255
00:10:45,239 --> 00:10:47,706
We've got to stick together.
256
00:10:47,708 --> 00:10:49,574
[Gasps] Stan, look out!
257
00:10:49,576 --> 00:10:50,909
Lewis is the killer.
258
00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:52,244
He's just giving me a shave, buddy.
259
00:10:52,246 --> 00:10:53,712
What's got you so worked up?
260
00:10:53,714 --> 00:10:55,980
- Uh, the killer?
- Oh, right.
261
00:10:56,015 --> 00:10:57,649
I was pretty worked up about that, too.
262
00:10:57,651 --> 00:11:01,053
Then my boy, Lewis, here,
offered to shave my worries away.
263
00:11:01,055 --> 00:11:03,922
Barber, do you offer man-scaping?
264
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:05,724
You guys are useless.
265
00:11:05,726 --> 00:11:07,792
Do everything but the taint.
266
00:11:07,794 --> 00:11:09,948
I'm growing that out.
267
00:11:11,131 --> 00:11:13,397
What the hell is going on in here?
268
00:11:13,399 --> 00:11:14,532
Oh, hey, guys.
269
00:11:14,534 --> 00:11:18,136
I ran into a little snag,
but I called my boy Vikram.
270
00:11:18,138 --> 00:11:22,140
He is the highest rated
Postmates driver in Virginia
271
00:11:22,142 --> 00:11:24,743
and he's on his way with some gyros.
272
00:11:24,745 --> 00:11:28,813
Klaus, Tuttle is missing, probably dead,
273
00:11:28,815 --> 00:11:31,549
and now you expect me to tell my guests
274
00:11:31,551 --> 00:11:34,419
that dinner is going
to be 10 minutes late?
275
00:11:34,421 --> 00:11:37,489
If this party is a failure, it's on you.
276
00:11:37,491 --> 00:11:38,490
Did you find anything?
277
00:11:38,492 --> 00:11:40,158
Yeah, I found something.
278
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,226
Klaus is trying to ruin my dinner party.
279
00:11:42,228 --> 00:11:43,495
Come on, we should check the basement.
280
00:11:43,497 --> 00:11:47,231
Good idea and, while we're down there,
we can grab the good dessert plates.
281
00:11:47,233 --> 00:11:51,035
Dessert? We're not even going
to survive the pasta course.
282
00:11:51,037 --> 00:11:52,771
Tuttle's dead?
283
00:11:52,773 --> 00:11:55,307
Does that mean I'm only feeding seven?
284
00:11:55,309 --> 00:11:59,043
You guys would tell me if this
party wasn't going well, right?
285
00:11:59,045 --> 00:12:02,046
Oh, Roger, while you're in there,
grab the plates.
286
00:12:02,048 --> 00:12:05,717
Plates, plates, plates, plates,
I hate your stupid, ugly plates.
287
00:12:05,719 --> 00:12:07,185
[Both gasp]
288
00:12:07,187 --> 00:12:10,655
The plates are right behind me,
aren't they?
289
00:12:10,657 --> 00:12:13,057
[Screams] Dead Tuttle!
290
00:12:13,059 --> 00:12:15,727
What's this?
291
00:12:15,729 --> 00:12:18,062
The killer must have dropped it.
292
00:12:18,064 --> 00:12:20,314
It's a lens from a monocle.
293
00:12:20,349 --> 00:12:22,935
But the only person I know
who wears a monocle is...
294
00:12:22,937 --> 00:12:24,803
[Thunder crashes]
295
00:12:24,805 --> 00:12:27,139
♪ Feeling safe with the Colonel ♪
296
00:12:27,141 --> 00:12:28,941
♪ Implicitly trust the Colonel ♪
297
00:12:28,943 --> 00:12:33,145
Only place left to look is
that dark old shed, Steve.
298
00:12:33,147 --> 00:12:35,947
[Thunder crashes]
299
00:12:35,949 --> 00:12:38,416
- Aah!
- What's wrong, boy?
300
00:12:38,418 --> 00:12:42,020
Are you nervous that I
don't have enough knives?
301
00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:46,024
Don't worry, I've got extra.
302
00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:49,561
♪ Going to the shed with the Colonel ♪
303
00:12:49,563 --> 00:12:54,166
♪ Never seen that look
from the Colonel ♪
304
00:12:54,168 --> 00:12:57,035
Oh, my God! Bullock is dead!
305
00:12:57,037 --> 00:13:01,706
I am? What a huge blow to
the Civil Rights Movement.
306
00:13:01,708 --> 00:13:04,709
Stan, we found this monocle
next to Tuttle's dead body.
307
00:13:04,711 --> 00:13:07,712
Colonel Withersby is the killer,
and he's with Steve.
308
00:13:07,714 --> 00:13:10,115
- [Steve screaming]
- We're too late.
309
00:13:12,919 --> 00:13:16,254
Get away from Steve, you monster.
310
00:13:16,256 --> 00:13:18,723
But he's still hugging my scaries away.
311
00:13:18,725 --> 00:13:22,460
We were coming back from the
shed and we found this body.
312
00:13:22,462 --> 00:13:24,529
With this bag of gyros next to it.
313
00:13:24,531 --> 00:13:26,464
- Who the hell is it?
- Let me through, let me through.
314
00:13:26,466 --> 00:13:29,201
Oh, God! That's Vikram.
315
00:13:29,203 --> 00:13:33,538
He was just trying to bring us
gyros and someone killed him for it.
316
00:13:33,540 --> 00:13:35,940
Not someone, the Colonel.
317
00:13:35,942 --> 00:13:38,943
I believe your monocle
is missing something.
318
00:13:38,945 --> 00:13:41,013
That's a prescription lens.
319
00:13:41,015 --> 00:13:42,814
Mine is clear glass.
320
00:13:42,816 --> 00:13:45,349
I only wear this because
without it my outfit
321
00:13:45,351 --> 00:13:46,885
would look ridiculous.
322
00:13:46,887 --> 00:13:51,355
Which means the killer
is someone else, but who?
323
00:13:51,357 --> 00:13:52,736
What's this?
324
00:13:54,561 --> 00:13:56,361
The killer must have dropped it.
325
00:13:56,363 --> 00:13:58,430
It's lipstick, and the only people here
326
00:13:58,432 --> 00:14:01,299
who wear lipstick are
Francine and Hayley.
327
00:14:01,301 --> 00:14:02,567
I don't wear makeup.
328
00:14:02,569 --> 00:14:03,968
You make fun of me for it all the time.
329
00:14:03,970 --> 00:14:05,904
And I haven't spent a cent on lipstick
330
00:14:05,906 --> 00:14:08,907
ever since I got my lips
tattooed cherry red.
331
00:14:08,909 --> 00:14:12,244
Although I do spend a ton
on hepatitis meds now.
332
00:14:12,246 --> 00:14:14,785
- Hello?
- It's Greg!
333
00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:16,682
The party is saved!
334
00:14:18,652 --> 00:14:19,984
What happened?
335
00:14:19,986 --> 00:14:22,054
Last thing I remember,
I was in the bathroom
336
00:14:22,056 --> 00:14:23,321
and heard the door open.
337
00:14:23,323 --> 00:14:24,989
Next thing I know,
I woke up in the bathtub.
338
00:14:24,991 --> 00:14:27,659
Oh, you probably got lead piped.
I got lead piped earlier.
339
00:14:27,661 --> 00:14:30,462
So, what's been going on?
Everyone looks good.
340
00:14:30,464 --> 00:14:32,330
What's going on is Tuttle is dead.
341
00:14:32,332 --> 00:14:37,201
And we found two clues:
A monocle and some lipstick.
342
00:14:37,203 --> 00:14:39,403
He's squinting.
343
00:14:39,405 --> 00:14:40,739
Of course!
344
00:14:40,741 --> 00:14:42,340
You see, when Greg reads the news,
345
00:14:42,342 --> 00:14:44,342
he has no problem with the teleprompter,
346
00:14:44,344 --> 00:14:46,678
but whenever he's handed a note on air,
347
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:50,949
he puts on the glasses he
keeps in his jacket pocket.
348
00:14:50,951 --> 00:14:53,551
See, missing a lens.
349
00:14:53,553 --> 00:14:55,820
- [All gasp]
- Well, that explains the lens,
350
00:14:55,842 --> 00:14:58,442
but what about the lipstick, Roger?
351
00:14:58,444 --> 00:15:00,244
Great question, Stan.
352
00:15:00,246 --> 00:15:02,580
You see, every newscaster wears makeup,
353
00:15:02,582 --> 00:15:06,384
but since the advent of HD,
it's more important than ever.
354
00:15:06,386 --> 00:15:07,385
Isn't it, Greg?
355
00:15:07,387 --> 00:15:09,653
Are you accusing me of being a killer?
356
00:15:09,655 --> 00:15:10,922
Why would I do something like that?
357
00:15:10,924 --> 00:15:12,323
You needed a story,
358
00:15:12,325 --> 00:15:14,125
and what could possibly
be a better story
359
00:15:14,127 --> 00:15:15,927
than a dinner party killer?
360
00:15:15,929 --> 00:15:17,995
Bullock: A story
about an elephant and the cheetah
361
00:15:17,997 --> 00:15:20,302
- at the zoo being friends.
- Shut up!
362
00:15:20,367 --> 00:15:24,001
You made up the killer and had
to kill to keep the story going,
363
00:15:24,003 --> 00:15:28,206
and thus, you became
the "Dinner Party Killer."
364
00:15:28,208 --> 00:15:30,208
Now, let's lock this maniac
in the basement
365
00:15:30,210 --> 00:15:33,477
so we can all relax and get
back to this fabulous part...
366
00:15:33,479 --> 00:15:34,656
Goddamn it!
367
00:15:35,681 --> 00:15:40,752
I've been stabbed and I felt
the killer's face in the dark.
368
00:15:40,754 --> 00:15:42,954
I know exactly who it is.
369
00:15:42,956 --> 00:15:47,225
The killer...'s name will surprise you.
370
00:15:47,227 --> 00:15:49,827
The killer is...
371
00:15:49,829 --> 00:15:52,296
Stan, Francine, Hayley,
372
00:15:52,298 --> 00:15:55,032
everyone pay attention
to what I'm about to say.
373
00:15:55,034 --> 00:15:58,302
This is Greg Corbin
with my final report.
374
00:15:58,304 --> 00:16:00,538
The killer was...
375
00:16:02,308 --> 00:16:03,908
It should have been me.
376
00:16:03,910 --> 00:16:06,710
I should have been the one
falling from the ceiling,
377
00:16:06,712 --> 00:16:08,913
killing the ladies' man.
378
00:16:10,851 --> 00:16:14,185
[Thunder crashes]
379
00:16:14,588 --> 00:16:16,988
Papa, I'm scared. What should we do?
380
00:16:16,990 --> 00:16:19,591
- We need to stick together.
- All of us in one place?
381
00:16:19,593 --> 00:16:21,060
That's just what the killer would want.
382
00:16:21,062 --> 00:16:22,661
He's right. We should split up.
383
00:16:22,663 --> 00:16:24,629
No way, easier to pick us off.
384
00:16:24,631 --> 00:16:26,065
That's just what the killer would want.
385
00:16:26,067 --> 00:16:28,667
Oh, God,
the killer wants so many things.
386
00:16:28,669 --> 00:16:30,535
How will we ever please him?
387
00:16:30,537 --> 00:16:33,472
We need to settle down
and think rationally.
388
00:16:33,474 --> 00:16:36,407
Klaus, we're ready
for the pineapple whips.
389
00:16:36,409 --> 00:16:39,811
Okay, Klaus. You produced
zero food up to this point.
390
00:16:39,813 --> 00:16:42,481
They need dessert and they need it now.
391
00:16:42,483 --> 00:16:45,216
It's time to use your secret weapon.
392
00:16:45,218 --> 00:16:49,154
- Five blenders.
- [Electricity crackles]
393
00:16:49,156 --> 00:16:50,822
Steve: Oh, not again!
394
00:16:50,824 --> 00:16:52,624
Withersby: We must remain calm.
395
00:16:52,626 --> 00:16:54,493
Bullock: I believe I'm being stabbed.
396
00:16:54,495 --> 00:16:56,895
Fran: Don't worry,
dessert is on the way.
397
00:16:56,897 --> 00:16:58,123
- [Knife sticks]
- Bullock: It is confirmed,
398
00:16:58,165 --> 00:17:00,632
someone is stabbing me right now.
399
00:17:00,634 --> 00:17:02,834
Stan: All right,
whoever is stabbing Bullock, 'fess up.
400
00:17:02,836 --> 00:17:03,969
Roger: I'm looking for a light.
401
00:17:03,971 --> 00:17:05,971
Bullock: This killer is like a cat,
402
00:17:05,973 --> 00:17:08,707
toying with me,
keeping me barely alive...
403
00:17:08,709 --> 00:17:10,041
[Knife stick, spurting]
404
00:17:10,043 --> 00:17:12,778
Oh, no, that's the finishing blow.
405
00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:14,980
Good night, everybody.
406
00:17:14,982 --> 00:17:17,582
Roger: I got it! I got a flashlight!
407
00:17:17,584 --> 00:17:19,851
Hello?
408
00:17:19,853 --> 00:17:21,386
Stay calm, Roger.
409
00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:22,387
[Floorboard creaks]
410
00:17:22,389 --> 00:17:25,368
- [Gurgling]
- Ah!
411
00:17:26,927 --> 00:17:29,060
- [Floorboard creaks]
- Hello? Stan?
412
00:17:29,062 --> 00:17:29,928
Steve?
413
00:17:29,930 --> 00:17:32,331
Thank God, Stan.
414
00:17:32,333 --> 00:17:34,500
Ah! Entrails.
415
00:17:37,338 --> 00:17:40,339
[Banging]
416
00:17:43,144 --> 00:17:45,210
Steve? Right here?
417
00:17:45,212 --> 00:17:49,280
This is crazy,
there's a killer on the loose.
418
00:17:49,282 --> 00:17:50,282
Ah!
419
00:17:51,618 --> 00:17:53,152
Killer, show yourself.
420
00:17:53,154 --> 00:17:55,086
Uh, this flashlight is so heavy.
421
00:17:55,088 --> 00:17:57,622
I just need to rest
my arm for one second.
422
00:17:57,624 --> 00:17:59,358
Why do I even have a gym membership?
423
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:03,429
It's like I pay 24.99
to not go to the gym.
424
00:18:05,632 --> 00:18:07,566
Ah, ah!
425
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:11,437
Ah!
426
00:18:13,174 --> 00:18:14,940
That just leaves...
427
00:18:14,952 --> 00:18:16,485
Me.
428
00:18:16,487 --> 00:18:20,690
That's right,
so now you know who did it.
429
00:18:20,692 --> 00:18:21,891
Do you want to know why?
430
00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:24,025
Ah, you bastard.
431
00:18:24,027 --> 00:18:26,095
I trusted you. I loved you.
432
00:18:26,097 --> 00:18:28,163
I shredded Tahoe with you.
433
00:18:28,165 --> 00:18:29,965
Surprise!
434
00:18:29,967 --> 00:18:32,702
What... what... what...?
435
00:18:32,704 --> 00:18:34,904
It was all fake, Roger.
436
00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:37,306
The deaths, the power outages,
437
00:18:37,308 --> 00:18:40,576
all planned out to the last detail.
438
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,578
You're all alive.
439
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:43,713
Everything was fake,
440
00:18:43,715 --> 00:18:47,182
even this knife I
stabbed the Colonel with.
441
00:18:47,184 --> 00:18:48,650
This knife is real.
442
00:18:48,652 --> 00:18:52,854
That was not part of the plan,
but the rest...
443
00:18:52,856 --> 00:18:56,392
Oh, we got you good.
444
00:18:56,394 --> 00:18:58,860
You should have seen your face.
445
00:18:58,862 --> 00:19:01,196
But I saw the bodies, the blood.
446
00:19:01,198 --> 00:19:05,334
Well, we knew
we had to make it look real,
447
00:19:05,336 --> 00:19:09,405
so we stashed bottles of
ketchup around the house.
448
00:19:09,407 --> 00:19:11,847
Hayley:
Which we learned to find in the dark.
449
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:17,546
Stan: For my death,
I hid a bunch of spaghetti in my pants.
450
00:19:17,548 --> 00:19:20,015
But how did you know
what I would do and say?
451
00:19:20,017 --> 00:19:22,551
That's where I come in.
452
00:19:22,553 --> 00:19:28,223
I wrote over 1,800 pages of dialogue
to account for any possibility.
453
00:19:28,225 --> 00:19:30,025
We spent months rehearsing to make sure
454
00:19:30,027 --> 00:19:32,227
we got the performances just right.
455
00:19:32,229 --> 00:19:35,230
Tuttle: Vikram threatened
to walk out multiple times.
456
00:19:35,232 --> 00:19:36,698
But Vikram killed it.
457
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:38,500
He's a shining star.
458
00:19:38,502 --> 00:19:40,769
Bullock: Ahem, casting couch.
459
00:19:40,771 --> 00:19:44,573
Okay. Now I perfectly
understand how, but why?
460
00:19:44,575 --> 00:19:47,843
Because for years you've
been screwing up things
461
00:19:47,845 --> 00:19:50,646
we care about with your
ridiculous schemes,
462
00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:54,383
so we decided to give you a
taste of your own medicine.
463
00:19:54,385 --> 00:19:57,386
Wow, you really
taught me a lesson today.
464
00:19:57,388 --> 00:20:00,455
My pranks, they're childish.
465
00:20:00,457 --> 00:20:02,123
You don't deserve that.
466
00:20:02,125 --> 00:20:04,125
You deserve to be terrorized,
467
00:20:04,127 --> 00:20:06,728
like you just terrorized me.
468
00:20:06,730 --> 00:20:08,805
- That's not...
- And I vow the next time
469
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:09,931
I come at you, it'll be
470
00:20:09,933 --> 00:20:12,067
a thousand times harder
than you came at me
471
00:20:12,069 --> 00:20:14,069
because that's how much I love you.
472
00:20:14,071 --> 00:20:15,204
I told you this was pointless.
473
00:20:15,206 --> 00:20:17,339
Either way, it was a hell of a party.
474
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:19,941
A party for the ages!
475
00:20:19,943 --> 00:20:22,478
Absolute rager.
476
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,480
Oh man, we really got
to get you to a hospital.
477
00:20:24,482 --> 00:20:27,016
But first, how did you fake the
"Dinner Party Killer"?
478
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:28,617
He's been on the news for weeks.
479
00:20:28,619 --> 00:20:31,620
Oh, he's real,
we just used him to sell the ruse.
480
00:20:31,622 --> 00:20:33,723
Oh, smart.
481
00:20:37,161 --> 00:20:38,760
416 Cherry Street.
482
00:20:38,762 --> 00:20:41,497
No problem. What are you up to tonight?
483
00:20:41,499 --> 00:20:45,166
Going to a dinner party,
heard about it on the news.
484
00:20:45,168 --> 00:20:47,703
It's supposed to be killer.
485
00:20:47,705 --> 00:20:50,105
Cool. You have any music preference?
486
00:20:50,107 --> 00:20:51,306
Whatever you got.
487
00:20:51,308 --> 00:20:52,842
Reggae it is.
488
00:20:52,844 --> 00:20:56,378
Hey, you give me five stars,
I give you five stars.
489
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:57,547
Have a great night!
490
00:20:57,548 --> 00:20:59,548
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