1
00:00:02,422 --> 00:00:05,490
Aaah!
2
00:00:05,859 --> 00:00:07,692
[Roars]
3
00:00:07,727 --> 00:00:10,895
[Screaming]
4
00:00:10,897 --> 00:00:11,897
[Roars]
5
00:00:13,399 --> 00:00:21,105
♪
6
00:00:21,107 --> 00:00:22,974
Smiths!
7
00:00:22,976 --> 00:00:25,843
You haven't seen the last of me!
8
00:00:25,845 --> 00:00:27,445
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
9
00:00:27,447 --> 00:00:29,714
Whoa, that was clo...
10
00:00:29,716 --> 00:00:31,349
Aaaah!
11
00:00:46,059 --> 00:00:49,901
♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪
12
00:00:49,973 --> 00:00:53,775
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la ♪
13
00:00:53,777 --> 00:00:55,310
What do you think, Dad?
14
00:00:55,312 --> 00:00:58,346
I've raised this tree since
it was a young sapling.
15
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It's like the child I never had.
16
00:01:00,350 --> 00:01:01,749
All: Aw.
17
00:01:01,751 --> 00:01:05,019
Now that Santa is dead, we can
finally celebrate Christmas again.
18
00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:07,088
This is going to be the
best Christmas ever.
19
00:01:07,090 --> 00:01:08,823
Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
20
00:01:08,825 --> 00:01:10,658
I just came up with
an awesome new dance.
21
00:01:10,660 --> 00:01:12,427
You got to see it.
22
00:01:13,296 --> 00:01:14,762
Guys?
23
00:01:14,764 --> 00:01:17,865
Guys! You got see me rock this dance.
24
00:01:17,867 --> 00:01:20,101
It's half twerking, half motorboating,
25
00:01:20,103 --> 00:01:23,571
100% sexuality.
26
00:01:24,274 --> 00:01:25,440
Hey, what are you doing?
27
00:01:25,442 --> 00:01:26,941
I'm sewing Christmas stockings
28
00:01:26,943 --> 00:01:29,310
that actually fit everyone's feet.
29
00:01:29,312 --> 00:01:31,145
I came up with the idea myself.
30
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Can you believe it?
31
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I can. Ich!
32
00:01:33,850 --> 00:01:35,717
It's always about
Christmas in this house.
33
00:01:35,719 --> 00:01:37,151
I'm sick of it.
I'm going to find someone
34
00:01:37,153 --> 00:01:40,355
who will appreciate me and my dance.
35
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And zippity-zappity-zoo.
36
00:01:42,459 --> 00:01:44,792
[Panting]
37
00:01:44,794 --> 00:01:47,061
Thank you. Thank you, Snot.
38
00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:49,063
I just knew you'd love it.
39
00:01:49,065 --> 00:01:53,634
Uh-huh. So you're Steve's uncle?
40
00:01:53,636 --> 00:01:55,370
That's right. I'm Uncle Roger.
41
00:01:55,372 --> 00:01:57,438
Are you Mr. Smith's brother?
42
00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:58,706
Oh, no, no, no, no.
43
00:01:58,708 --> 00:02:00,742
No. I'm not related to Stan or Francine.
44
00:02:00,744 --> 00:02:02,677
I'm Steve's direct uncle.
45
00:02:02,679 --> 00:02:04,479
I only came over
because the whole family
46
00:02:04,481 --> 00:02:06,013
is obsessed with Christmas.
47
00:02:06,015 --> 00:02:08,015
I just don't get it.
You ever feel that way?
48
00:02:08,017 --> 00:02:11,853
Well, yeah.
I'm Jewish, so I celebrate Hanukkah.
49
00:02:11,855 --> 00:02:14,088
- What's that?
- It's an 8-day celebration
50
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called the Festival of Lights.
51
00:02:16,059 --> 00:02:17,692
And tonight is the first night.
52
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On each night,
we light a candle to symbolize
53
00:02:20,196 --> 00:02:23,798
how one night's supply of
oil lasted eight nights.
54
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:27,135
Sometimes we play dreidel or eat latkes,
55
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and sometimes we don't,
and just go to bed.
56
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It's kind of boring.
57
00:02:32,041 --> 00:02:34,075
But it's cool that you
have your own thing.
58
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Not really.
59
00:02:35,278 --> 00:02:37,912
Hanukkah has always been
second fiddle to Christmas.
60
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We don't have any catchy songs,
or Santa, or anything.
61
00:02:41,918 --> 00:02:44,519
This is a tough time of the year for us.
62
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Are there, or have there ever been,
63
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other tough times for Jewish people?
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Yes.
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00:02:50,827 --> 00:02:53,761
Hey, you know what?
As Christmas outsiders,
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the two of us should stick together.
67
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Neither of us should
suffer alone in this,
68
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the toughest of times.
69
00:02:58,768 --> 00:03:01,035
I'm going to celebrate
Hanukkah with you.
70
00:03:01,037 --> 00:03:04,172
So how do I become Jewish?
Do I just... Do I just kiss you?
71
00:03:04,174 --> 00:03:05,940
Let's start with some reading.
72
00:03:05,942 --> 00:03:09,444
The Book of Creation. That sounds juicy.
73
00:03:09,446 --> 00:03:11,312
That's too advanced for you.
74
00:03:11,314 --> 00:03:15,650
If you want to become Jewish,
you must first study the Torah.
75
00:03:15,652 --> 00:03:19,654
In the beginning,
God created heaven and Earth.
76
00:03:19,656 --> 00:03:21,656
Hey, they lifted that line
from the Bible.
77
00:03:21,658 --> 00:03:23,124
This is going to be fun.
78
00:03:23,126 --> 00:03:25,259
Let's get Jewy!
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00:03:25,261 --> 00:03:28,629
[Traditional Jewish music plays]
80
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♪ Viva, nagila, viva ♪
81
00:03:46,516 --> 00:03:48,316
♪ Nagila viva ♪
82
00:03:48,318 --> 00:03:52,753
♪ Nagila vi-i-iva ♪
83
00:03:52,755 --> 00:03:55,189
[Slot machine clicks]
84
00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:57,318
- [Beeping]
- Mazel. Mazel very tov.
85
00:03:58,728 --> 00:04:00,995
[Camera shutter clicks]
86
00:04:06,875 --> 00:04:08,587
[Glass shatters]
87
00:04:08,622 --> 00:04:11,789
Feh, got needles much,
you dumb tree? Feh.
88
00:04:12,021 --> 00:04:14,555
Roger, what are you doing?
89
00:04:14,557 --> 00:04:17,291
My baby! [Sobs]
90
00:04:17,293 --> 00:04:20,394
I'm celebrating Hanukkah now.
I hope you can all respect that.
91
00:04:20,396 --> 00:04:23,064
It's fine that you want to
celebrate Hanukkah, Roger,
92
00:04:23,066 --> 00:04:24,799
but you can't put your candlestick
93
00:04:24,801 --> 00:04:26,033
that close to the drapes.
94
00:04:26,035 --> 00:04:27,602
It's a fire hazard.
95
00:04:27,604 --> 00:04:30,471
Oh, my Jewish god.
96
00:04:30,473 --> 00:04:32,139
What are you saying, Francine?
97
00:04:32,141 --> 00:04:34,041
That my Menorah isn't welcome here?
98
00:04:34,043 --> 00:04:36,544
I didn't say that.
You're putting words in my mouth.
99
00:04:36,546 --> 00:04:39,881
That's better than what
other people in there.
100
00:04:39,883 --> 00:04:42,083
Oh, he has a disgusting point.
101
00:04:42,085 --> 00:04:45,219
Snot said Christmas was hard for him.
Now I know why.
102
00:04:45,221 --> 00:04:48,389
Snot? You've been
hanging out with my Snot?
103
00:04:48,391 --> 00:04:51,459
Nobody in this family ever
wants to do what I want to do,
104
00:04:51,461 --> 00:04:54,295
and what I want to do now is Chanukkah.
105
00:04:54,297 --> 00:04:57,098
[Sobs]
106
00:04:57,100 --> 00:05:00,268
Have any of the rest of you been
hanging out with my friends?
107
00:05:01,838 --> 00:05:02,937
♪ Jingle bells ♪
108
00:05:02,939 --> 00:05:04,138
♪ Santa smells ♪
109
00:05:04,140 --> 00:05:06,374
♪ Everything's so lame ♪
110
00:05:06,376 --> 00:05:08,943
♪ Christmas time is such a grind ♪
111
00:05:08,945 --> 00:05:10,745
♪ Hey, don't push me away ♪
112
00:05:10,747 --> 00:05:11,846
Hey!
113
00:05:11,848 --> 00:05:14,448
♪ Jingle bells, I'm unwell ♪
114
00:05:14,450 --> 00:05:16,684
♪ Watching others play ♪
115
00:05:16,686 --> 00:05:18,853
♪ They have fun, but I am bummed ♪
116
00:05:18,855 --> 00:05:21,989
♪ 'Cause Santa skips my place ♪
117
00:05:23,893 --> 00:05:25,993
♪ Crashing through the mall ♪
118
00:05:25,995 --> 00:05:28,229
♪ 'Cause I'm driving while I'm baked ♪
119
00:05:28,231 --> 00:05:30,398
♪ But I don't care at all ♪
120
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,166
♪ I was crying the whole way ♪
121
00:05:32,168 --> 00:05:33,067
Ha-ha-ha.
122
00:05:33,069 --> 00:05:35,036
♪ See that Christmas tree ♪
123
00:05:35,038 --> 00:05:36,904
♪ All those kids in line ♪
124
00:05:36,906 --> 00:05:38,973
♪ All we see is red and green ♪
125
00:05:38,975 --> 00:05:40,808
♪ And a few ugly hate crimes ♪
126
00:05:40,810 --> 00:05:43,110
♪ Oh, jingle bells, here me yell ♪
127
00:05:43,112 --> 00:05:44,912
♪ Jewish gifts are dumb ♪
128
00:05:44,914 --> 00:05:46,814
♪ What's in the box?
Oh, it's just socks ♪
129
00:05:46,816 --> 00:05:48,916
♪ And not a paintball gun ♪
130
00:05:48,918 --> 00:05:50,618
♪ Jingle bells, this is hell ♪
131
00:05:50,620 --> 00:05:52,253
♪ Hanukkah's so lame ♪
132
00:05:52,255 --> 00:05:54,121
♪ Compared to this, it's like a bris ♪
133
00:05:54,123 --> 00:05:55,856
♪ Just chop my dick away ♪
134
00:05:55,858 --> 00:05:57,325
♪ Just chop ♪
135
00:05:57,427 --> 00:05:59,260
♪ Just chop ♪
136
00:05:59,262 --> 00:06:06,000
♪ Just chop my dick away ♪
137
00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:10,504
Look at these goys lining
up for a mall Santa.
138
00:06:10,506 --> 00:06:12,273
You're a bunch of idiots!
139
00:06:12,275 --> 00:06:15,142
Uh, excuse me,
could you keep your voice down?
140
00:06:15,144 --> 00:06:16,811
There are children here.
141
00:06:16,813 --> 00:06:19,013
Oh, do the children know their "Santa"
142
00:06:19,015 --> 00:06:21,349
works at Home Depot?
143
00:06:21,351 --> 00:06:24,251
He makes keys.
144
00:06:24,253 --> 00:06:26,454
You know where the real Santa is?
145
00:06:26,456 --> 00:06:27,521
He's dead!
146
00:06:27,523 --> 00:06:29,624
- [Gasping]
- Captain Keys over there
147
00:06:29,626 --> 00:06:31,692
is pretending to be a dead guy.
148
00:06:31,694 --> 00:06:33,561
[Slurps]
149
00:06:33,563 --> 00:06:35,463
You know what?
I'm going to show everyone.
150
00:06:35,465 --> 00:06:38,132
I'm going to get Santa's
body from the North Pole.
151
00:06:38,134 --> 00:06:40,034
Yep. That's what I'm going to do.
152
00:06:40,036 --> 00:06:42,303
Don't drink my drink while I'm gone.
153
00:06:42,538 --> 00:06:43,938
[All shouting]
154
00:06:43,940 --> 00:06:46,040
Hey. Where... Where are you all going?
155
00:06:46,042 --> 00:06:48,042
I told you Santa was dead.
156
00:06:48,044 --> 00:06:50,077
Don't you want to see his dead body?
157
00:06:50,079 --> 00:06:52,713
Whoa! There really is a Santa.
158
00:06:52,715 --> 00:06:54,048
Not anymore.
159
00:06:54,050 --> 00:06:57,618
Santa is so dumb. Look at his dumb suit.
160
00:06:57,620 --> 00:06:58,919
Seems warm though.
161
00:06:58,921 --> 00:07:00,321
I could use something like this.
162
00:07:00,323 --> 00:07:03,157
I'm literally always cold.
I'm like a woman.
163
00:07:03,159 --> 00:07:05,459
[Chuckles] Hot take, Roger, hot take.
164
00:07:05,461 --> 00:07:08,295
What the hell, I'm going to try it on.
165
00:07:09,899 --> 00:07:11,265
[Belch]
166
00:07:11,267 --> 00:07:13,501
Was that the sesame
chicken I had earlier?
167
00:07:13,503 --> 00:07:16,137
Wait a minute. Let's see if...
168
00:07:19,008 --> 00:07:20,975
[Gasps] I think the suit
169
00:07:20,977 --> 00:07:23,244
turns whoever is wearing it into Santa.
170
00:07:23,246 --> 00:07:25,446
But how can I be Santa?
171
00:07:25,448 --> 00:07:27,581
I'm Jewish.
172
00:07:27,583 --> 00:07:32,586
Could I be Jewish Santa
with Santa powers?
173
00:07:35,958 --> 00:07:37,725
- Awesome!
- Hey!
174
00:07:37,727 --> 00:07:39,860
What the hell are you doing?!
175
00:07:41,130 --> 00:07:42,530
Shut up, key man!
176
00:07:42,532 --> 00:07:44,999
There's a new Santa Claus in town,
177
00:07:45,001 --> 00:07:46,422
and his name's...
178
00:07:46,703 --> 00:07:47,968
Shmanta.
179
00:07:47,970 --> 00:07:50,271
Holla at Jew boy.
180
00:07:53,820 --> 00:07:55,620
Hey, y'all. It's me, Greg.
181
00:07:55,622 --> 00:07:57,488
I'm here at the Langley Falls Galleria
182
00:07:57,490 --> 00:08:00,491
with breaking news so urgent
that I got called away from
183
00:08:00,493 --> 00:08:03,194
a daytime rager at my
friend's new townhouse.
184
00:08:03,196 --> 00:08:06,097
Santa Claus, yes, the Santa Claus,
185
00:08:06,099 --> 00:08:08,299
is slated to make an
historic announcement.
186
00:08:08,301 --> 00:08:10,835
Speaking of announcements,
I kissed a woman earlier
187
00:08:10,837 --> 00:08:12,170
and it wasn't weird.
188
00:08:12,172 --> 00:08:13,571
I thought Santa was dead.
189
00:08:13,573 --> 00:08:15,607
It's probably just a crazy impostor,
190
00:08:15,609 --> 00:08:17,475
but can you believe the news about Greg?
191
00:08:17,477 --> 00:08:20,378
Why would it feel weird?
We were just having fun.
192
00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:23,548
It was a rager. He needs to relax.
193
00:08:23,550 --> 00:08:25,783
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the moment
194
00:08:25,785 --> 00:08:27,619
you've all been waiting for.
195
00:08:27,621 --> 00:08:30,188
Santa Claus is real!
196
00:08:30,190 --> 00:08:32,457
And he's Jewish!
197
00:08:33,660 --> 00:08:35,126
[Gasping]
198
00:08:35,128 --> 00:08:36,294
Of course.
199
00:08:36,296 --> 00:08:39,264
[Camera shutters clicking]
200
00:08:39,266 --> 00:08:40,431
What are you doing?
201
00:08:40,433 --> 00:08:42,367
All Hanukkah needs is a Santa.
202
00:08:42,369 --> 00:08:43,801
I'm putting us on the map.
203
00:08:43,803 --> 00:08:45,336
So you're Santa?
204
00:08:45,338 --> 00:08:48,106
I go by Shmanta because
I celebrate Hanukkah now.
205
00:08:48,108 --> 00:08:49,507
- Why, you might ask?
- I didn't.
206
00:08:49,509 --> 00:08:51,509
During Hanukkah, you get eight days
207
00:08:51,511 --> 00:08:53,144
of presents instead of one.
208
00:08:53,146 --> 00:08:55,213
That's eight times
better than Christmas,
209
00:08:55,215 --> 00:08:57,649
and you get to sing super catchy songs.
210
00:08:57,651 --> 00:09:00,118
♪ Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel ♪
211
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,953
♪ I made you out of clay ♪
212
00:09:01,955 --> 00:09:03,488
♪ Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel ♪
213
00:09:03,490 --> 00:09:05,523
♪ I don't know how to play ♪
214
00:09:05,525 --> 00:09:07,458
♪ Putzes, futzes, schmutzes ♪
215
00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:09,294
♪ All are Jewish words ♪
216
00:09:09,296 --> 00:09:11,162
♪ Schwimmer, Sandler, Spielberg ♪
217
00:09:11,164 --> 00:09:13,364
♪ All are Jewish nerds ♪
218
00:09:16,203 --> 00:09:18,303
♪ So why do you need Christmas ♪
219
00:09:18,305 --> 00:09:20,271
♪ When you have Hanukkah? ♪
220
00:09:20,273 --> 00:09:22,073
♪ Shmanta Claus is coming ♪
221
00:09:22,075 --> 00:09:24,375
♪ For girls named Monica ♪
222
00:09:24,377 --> 00:09:25,977
♪ Monica on "Friends" was Jewish ♪
223
00:09:25,979 --> 00:09:29,480
♪ So I assumed that that's
a Jewish name, right? ♪
224
00:09:30,116 --> 00:09:32,016
[Coins jingling]
225
00:09:32,018 --> 00:09:33,751
This is so cool.
226
00:09:33,753 --> 00:09:37,021
Look at me. I'm Rob Reiner!
227
00:09:37,023 --> 00:09:40,458
So, kids, if you want presents
from Shmanta this year,
228
00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:43,594
don't put out milk and cookies,
put out lox and bagels,
229
00:09:43,596 --> 00:09:48,166
and call your mother,
she's very worried about you.
230
00:09:48,168 --> 00:09:50,134
And from Shmanta's home to yours,
231
00:09:50,136 --> 00:09:54,272
I say, oy, oy, oy, happy Hanukkah.
232
00:10:01,456 --> 00:10:03,548
Roger.
233
00:10:05,618 --> 00:10:07,885
- No luck?
- I went to six stores,
234
00:10:07,887 --> 00:10:09,620
but I couldn't find any
Christmas ornaments.
235
00:10:09,622 --> 00:10:11,222
It's all Hanukkah stuff now.
236
00:10:11,224 --> 00:10:13,157
Roger: Well, now you know how it feels.
237
00:10:13,159 --> 00:10:14,625
Aaah!
238
00:10:14,627 --> 00:10:17,128
Just doing a practice run
because I'm Santa now.
239
00:10:17,130 --> 00:10:19,297
Did you know your chimney
is full of dead birds?
240
00:10:19,299 --> 00:10:20,865
How are you pulling this off?
241
00:10:20,867 --> 00:10:23,401
Apparently this suit gives
me all the Christmas magic
242
00:10:23,403 --> 00:10:26,571
that Santa had, so I can do this.
243
00:10:26,573 --> 00:10:27,805
Oh, dang.
244
00:10:27,807 --> 00:10:30,308
He turned the tree into
that Jewish pitch fork.
245
00:10:30,310 --> 00:10:31,943
So since Christmas sucks now,
246
00:10:31,945 --> 00:10:35,246
you want to do my thing,
get balls deep into Hanukkah?
247
00:10:35,248 --> 00:10:37,382
Roger, we have nothing against Hanukkah,
248
00:10:37,384 --> 00:10:39,250
but we celebrate Christmas.
249
00:10:39,252 --> 00:10:41,986
Wow. Okay. I'm reeling.
250
00:10:41,988 --> 00:10:44,822
Pardon my loud hand talking,
but I'm Jewish now,
251
00:10:44,824 --> 00:10:47,325
and I'm hearing you're not
willing to give up Christmas
252
00:10:47,327 --> 00:10:48,659
based on what I'm doing?
253
00:10:48,661 --> 00:10:52,063
Well, feh, feh, feh, feh, and feh.
254
00:10:52,065 --> 00:10:53,765
I'm going to the South Pole.
255
00:10:53,767 --> 00:10:56,401
That's what I'm calling my
new headquarters in Miami.
256
00:10:56,403 --> 00:10:59,837
[Bell rings]
257
00:10:59,839 --> 00:11:04,042
[Bells jingling]
258
00:11:04,134 --> 00:11:05,400
Cool sleigh, huh?
259
00:11:05,402 --> 00:11:07,001
I cut the top off a lambo
260
00:11:07,003 --> 00:11:08,369
and hired the University of Miami
261
00:11:08,371 --> 00:11:09,938
cheer team as my reindeer.
262
00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:13,675
We've got Shmasher, and Shamcer,
and Shpencer, and Shmixon,
263
00:11:13,677 --> 00:11:16,778
Shmomet, and Shmooped,
and Shmonner, and Shvitzen,
264
00:11:16,780 --> 00:11:20,648
but do you recall the most
Jewish reindeer of all?
265
00:11:20,650 --> 00:11:22,383
[High-pitched beeping]
266
00:11:22,385 --> 00:11:23,484
Guess what his name is.
267
00:11:23,486 --> 00:11:25,653
- Shmoodolf.
- How'd you know?
268
00:11:28,592 --> 00:11:33,228
♪
269
00:11:33,230 --> 00:11:35,296
Great work, guys. This party is going to
270
00:11:35,298 --> 00:11:37,098
blow Christmas out of the water.
271
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:38,700
Love the latke station over here.
272
00:11:38,702 --> 00:11:40,635
We got the Manischewitz open bar, there.
273
00:11:40,637 --> 00:11:43,304
Nice. And we got
the kiddie pool full of oil
274
00:11:43,306 --> 00:11:45,106
for the Hanukkah hunks to wrestle in.
275
00:11:45,108 --> 00:11:46,474
- Oil wrestling?
- Yeah.
276
00:11:46,476 --> 00:11:49,077
Hanukkah is all about oil.
Read the Torah much?
277
00:11:49,079 --> 00:11:51,079
Hey. Six-pointed stars!
278
00:11:51,081 --> 00:11:52,447
That's one more than Christmas.
279
00:11:52,449 --> 00:11:54,349
Good looking out. But why stop there?
280
00:11:54,351 --> 00:11:56,384
Let's get some more
points on those things.
281
00:11:56,386 --> 00:11:57,885
Make them look like saw blades.
282
00:11:57,887 --> 00:11:59,120
That's the Star of David.
283
00:11:59,122 --> 00:12:01,222
David? Screw that guy.
284
00:12:01,224 --> 00:12:02,624
Wait, should I screw that guy?
285
00:12:02,626 --> 00:12:04,025
Put out some feelers to David.
286
00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:05,693
- See if he's DTF.
- Yeah.
287
00:12:05,695 --> 00:12:07,195
David is not DTF
288
00:12:07,197 --> 00:12:09,130
because he's been dead for 4,000 years.
289
00:12:09,132 --> 00:12:10,298
Done worse.
290
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:12,834
[Whispering] I [bleep] a chicken.
291
00:12:12,836 --> 00:12:16,404
[Dance music playing]
292
00:12:16,406 --> 00:12:18,373
Hey. This is the biggest
party of the year.
293
00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:19,807
Why are people waiting outside?
294
00:12:19,809 --> 00:12:22,377
- I'm checking the list.
- That's Santa shit.
295
00:12:22,379 --> 00:12:26,147
Let everybody in,
except for these Christmas creeps.
296
00:12:26,149 --> 00:12:27,582
They'll definitely want a piece of me
297
00:12:27,584 --> 00:12:29,484
now that I'm bigger than Jesus.
298
00:12:29,486 --> 00:12:31,252
Also, no Lebron James.
299
00:12:31,254 --> 00:12:33,288
That asshole broke Miami's heart.
300
00:12:33,290 --> 00:12:36,891
Oh, crap, it's Lebron.
Lebron, get in here.
301
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:40,795
[Dance music playing]
302
00:12:40,797 --> 00:12:44,899
♪
303
00:12:44,901 --> 00:12:49,604
♪
304
00:12:49,606 --> 00:12:51,272
Dude, we did it!
305
00:12:51,274 --> 00:12:53,274
Hanukkah is number one now!
306
00:12:53,276 --> 00:12:55,643
Yeah. So it's sundown.
307
00:12:55,645 --> 00:12:57,211
Maybe we should light the menorah.
308
00:12:57,213 --> 00:12:59,814
Ah, that's Christmas shit.
Let's get laid!
309
00:12:59,816 --> 00:13:03,151
It's just that the whole
point of Hanukkah is...
310
00:13:03,153 --> 00:13:07,255
Me dropping the bomb about
our surprise musical guest?
311
00:13:07,257 --> 00:13:09,123
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
312
00:13:09,125 --> 00:13:11,993
to the stage a Jewish music legend,
313
00:13:11,995 --> 00:13:13,795
Enrique Iglesias!
314
00:13:13,797 --> 00:13:16,164
[Cheers and applause]
315
00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:19,000
Shalom, Miami!
316
00:13:19,002 --> 00:13:20,835
♪ Enrique Iglesias ♪
317
00:13:20,937 --> 00:13:22,804
♪ Enrique Iglesias ♪
318
00:13:22,806 --> 00:13:24,238
Everybody!
319
00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:25,907
Roger: That's Enrique Iglesias?
320
00:13:25,909 --> 00:13:28,376
I guess I always mix him
up with Ricky Martin.
321
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:31,813
Look at me.
322
00:13:31,815 --> 00:13:34,282
[Snorts]
323
00:13:34,284 --> 00:13:36,684
I'm king of the Jews!
324
00:13:36,686 --> 00:13:37,485
Aah!
325
00:13:37,487 --> 00:13:39,487
- [Thud]
- I'm okay!
326
00:13:39,489 --> 00:13:41,022
I landed right in the oil.
327
00:13:41,024 --> 00:13:42,857
It's a Hanukkah miracle.
328
00:13:49,799 --> 00:13:52,400
I couldn't find red or green
sprinkles at the store,
329
00:13:52,402 --> 00:13:54,369
so I decorated these
cookies with ketchup
330
00:13:54,371 --> 00:13:55,870
and pureed spinach.
331
00:13:55,872 --> 00:13:57,071
Enjoy.
332
00:13:57,073 --> 00:14:00,208
Well, even though this may
not be the best Christmas,
333
00:14:00,210 --> 00:14:03,678
at least we're all together,
or whatever.
334
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:05,613
I kind of miss Roger. Oh, my god.
335
00:14:05,615 --> 00:14:07,515
Is this what his foot
actually looks like?
336
00:14:07,517 --> 00:14:10,585
Sometimes we forget Roger
is a straight-up monster.
337
00:14:10,587 --> 00:14:12,620
You have to help me
take down your uncle.
338
00:14:12,622 --> 00:14:14,822
Um, do we not lock the door?
339
00:14:14,824 --> 00:14:17,525
But everyone is celebrating
Hanukkah now. Aren't you happy?
340
00:14:17,527 --> 00:14:19,894
No! Not when it's turned into Shmanta
341
00:14:19,896 --> 00:14:22,697
rolling blunts with pages of the Torah.
342
00:14:22,699 --> 00:14:25,133
I just want my boring Hanukkah again.
343
00:14:25,135 --> 00:14:29,103
Sorry, Snot. The only person
who can stop Shmanta is Santa,
344
00:14:29,105 --> 00:14:30,838
and he's not coming back.
345
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:33,841
Actually, there may be a way.
346
00:14:33,843 --> 00:14:37,945
♪
347
00:14:37,947 --> 00:14:41,249
Oh, my God.
P.F. Chung's has a side business
348
00:14:41,251 --> 00:14:43,518
storing corpses they find in the mall?
349
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,521
So there are writings
in the Book of Creation
350
00:14:46,523 --> 00:14:49,190
about how to reanimate a body.
351
00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:51,993
You can bring the dead back to life?
352
00:14:51,995 --> 00:14:54,595
Snot, you little rascal,
353
00:14:54,597 --> 00:14:57,265
I thought we told each other everything.
354
00:14:57,267 --> 00:14:59,066
The book says we can activate golems
355
00:14:59,068 --> 00:15:02,136
by highlighting letters
of the Hebrew alphabet
356
00:15:02,138 --> 00:15:04,472
and reciting the 10 Sefirot.
357
00:15:04,474 --> 00:15:06,541
Now we just need this.
358
00:15:06,543 --> 00:15:08,810
Oh, my God. Is that blood?
359
00:15:08,812 --> 00:15:10,211
Yeah. Calm down.
360
00:15:10,213 --> 00:15:12,213
Keter.
361
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:13,915
Hokhmah.
362
00:15:13,917 --> 00:15:15,383
Binah.
363
00:15:15,385 --> 00:15:17,251
Is he speaking Jewish?
364
00:15:17,253 --> 00:15:19,053
- Is that a language?
- Shh!
365
00:15:19,055 --> 00:15:21,656
Are you shushing me because
you want me to be quiet,
366
00:15:21,658 --> 00:15:23,858
or because you don't know?
367
00:15:23,860 --> 00:15:26,327
Shh!
368
00:15:26,329 --> 00:15:30,198
Shekhinah.
369
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,033
[Groans]
370
00:15:32,035 --> 00:15:33,301
It worked.
371
00:15:33,303 --> 00:15:35,570
Santa, I know we've had our differences,
372
00:15:35,572 --> 00:15:37,004
but we need your help.
373
00:15:37,006 --> 00:15:38,573
[Groans]
374
00:15:38,575 --> 00:15:41,309
Santa, are you okay?
375
00:15:41,311 --> 00:15:43,010
[Groans]
376
00:15:43,012 --> 00:15:46,514
Oh, my God.
You turned Santa into a Frankenstein!
377
00:15:46,516 --> 00:15:48,185
Oh, my God.
378
00:15:48,418 --> 00:15:50,218
Snot's a witch!
379
00:15:50,220 --> 00:15:51,853
Burn him!
380
00:15:55,008 --> 00:15:56,741
[Bells jingling]
381
00:15:56,743 --> 00:15:59,911
So, Santa, you don't remember me?
382
00:15:59,913 --> 00:16:02,346
[Groans]
383
00:16:02,348 --> 00:16:04,749
We need you to save Christmas.
384
00:16:04,751 --> 00:16:07,251
Christmas?
385
00:16:07,253 --> 00:16:08,653
This is a lost cause.
386
00:16:08,655 --> 00:16:11,255
Your Uncle Roger only
got his Hanukkah powers
387
00:16:11,257 --> 00:16:13,324
after putting on that Santa suit.
388
00:16:13,326 --> 00:16:16,093
Maybe Santa just needs his suit back.
389
00:16:16,095 --> 00:16:18,329
- Suit?
- He knows the word!
390
00:16:18,331 --> 00:16:21,265
Suit? Suit! Suit!
391
00:16:21,267 --> 00:16:23,100
That's it! We need to go to Miami
392
00:16:23,102 --> 00:16:24,635
to get that suit from Roger,
393
00:16:24,637 --> 00:16:27,104
and, maybe after,
we can take birthday shots for Jesus
394
00:16:27,106 --> 00:16:29,440
on the crystal dance
floor at Club Bardot.
395
00:16:29,442 --> 00:16:32,677
Dad, you little party animal.
396
00:16:32,679 --> 00:16:35,947
Who else has a surprise up their sleeve?
397
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:43,054
Snot?
398
00:16:43,056 --> 00:16:44,789
Enrique?
399
00:16:44,791 --> 00:16:46,123
Reindeer people?
400
00:16:46,125 --> 00:16:47,692
Where is everyone?
401
00:16:47,694 --> 00:16:49,894
Shmanta, the Smiths are at the door.
402
00:16:49,896 --> 00:16:52,063
What? Why didn't you let them in?
403
00:16:52,065 --> 00:16:53,698
Well, you told us to keep them out.
404
00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:55,500
That was before they
learned their lesson,
405
00:16:55,502 --> 00:16:57,134
which they clearly now learned.
406
00:16:57,136 --> 00:16:58,669
Let them in!
407
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,974
What's up, dicks?
Welcome to the South Pole.
408
00:17:02,976 --> 00:17:04,342
Bring it in. Bring it in.
409
00:17:04,344 --> 00:17:05,810
I'm not mad at you, dicks.
410
00:17:05,812 --> 00:17:08,646
Roger, we're not staying.
We just came for your suit.
411
00:17:08,648 --> 00:17:10,548
- What?
- Just do what they say,
412
00:17:10,550 --> 00:17:12,917
and give them your suit,
Mr. Uncle Roger.
413
00:17:12,919 --> 00:17:15,586
No. I'm never giving up being Shmanta!
414
00:17:15,588 --> 00:17:17,688
Fair enough. Will you at least accept
415
00:17:17,690 --> 00:17:19,790
our parting Hanukkah gift?
416
00:17:25,498 --> 00:17:27,865
Oh, is that a razor scooter?
417
00:17:27,867 --> 00:17:29,400
Aaah!
418
00:17:29,402 --> 00:17:31,802
- Santa?
- Suit!
419
00:17:31,804 --> 00:17:34,438
- [Punk music plays]
- Elves, attack!
420
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,307
I'm here for you, Shmanta!
421
00:17:36,309 --> 00:17:37,508
- Aaah!
- Aaah!
422
00:17:37,510 --> 00:17:39,510
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪
423
00:17:39,512 --> 00:17:41,812
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪
424
00:17:41,814 --> 00:17:42,747
Hey!
425
00:17:42,749 --> 00:17:45,049
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
426
00:17:45,051 --> 00:17:47,351
- ♪ Jingle all the way ♪
- Aaah!
427
00:17:47,353 --> 00:17:48,753
- [Straining]
- ♪ Oh, what fun... ♪
428
00:17:48,755 --> 00:17:50,454
- Ooh!
- ♪ ...it is to ride ♪
429
00:17:50,456 --> 00:17:53,190
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪
430
00:17:53,192 --> 00:17:55,326
- ♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
- Hey, Santa.
431
00:17:55,328 --> 00:17:56,627
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪
432
00:17:56,629 --> 00:17:58,696
- [Groans]
- Oil be back.
433
00:17:58,698 --> 00:18:01,098
♪ O'er the fields we go ♪
434
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:02,967
♪ Laughing all the way ♪
435
00:18:02,969 --> 00:18:03,768
♪ The way! ♪
436
00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:05,136
♪ Bells on bobtail ring ♪
437
00:18:05,138 --> 00:18:06,871
Oh, my God.
Roger, are you going to to...
438
00:18:06,873 --> 00:18:08,606
I'm lighting this bitch up.
439
00:18:08,608 --> 00:18:09,907
[Bell rings]
440
00:18:09,909 --> 00:18:11,509
♪ What fun it is to ride and sing ♪
441
00:18:11,511 --> 00:18:14,045
♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪
442
00:18:14,047 --> 00:18:17,248
♪ Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
443
00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:19,650
♪ Jingle all the way ♪
444
00:18:19,652 --> 00:18:22,019
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪
445
00:18:22,021 --> 00:18:24,322
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪
446
00:18:24,324 --> 00:18:25,456
Hey!
447
00:18:25,458 --> 00:18:27,725
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
448
00:18:27,727 --> 00:18:30,261
♪ Jingle... ♪
449
00:18:30,263 --> 00:18:33,064
Thank God Santa is finally dead.
450
00:18:33,066 --> 00:18:34,098
Oh, cool, a hand.
451
00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:35,232
Aah!
452
00:18:35,234 --> 00:18:37,034
[Screaming]
453
00:18:44,777 --> 00:18:46,110
I'm back!
454
00:18:46,112 --> 00:18:48,045
And you're dead.
455
00:18:48,047 --> 00:18:51,849
You have your suit now, Santa.
Let's just call a truce.
456
00:18:51,851 --> 00:18:54,485
You're forgetting who I am, Smith.
457
00:18:54,487 --> 00:18:57,521
I'm Santa. I don't do truces.
458
00:18:57,523 --> 00:19:00,391
That's the one thing
every kid knows about me.
459
00:19:00,393 --> 00:19:01,492
That...
460
00:19:01,494 --> 00:19:04,128
and that I shoot lightning!
461
00:19:06,132 --> 00:19:07,531
The [bleep] is this?
462
00:19:07,533 --> 00:19:08,599
Head for the sleigh!
463
00:19:08,601 --> 00:19:12,269
[Grunting]
464
00:19:12,271 --> 00:19:13,671
Why did you save me?
465
00:19:13,673 --> 00:19:14,972
Santa has his suit now,
466
00:19:14,974 --> 00:19:16,907
so you've got your
precious Christmas back.
467
00:19:16,909 --> 00:19:19,543
It wasn't just Christmas
we wanted back, Roger.
468
00:19:19,545 --> 00:19:21,078
It was you.
469
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:24,448
Maybe I didn't want you
guys to care about Hanukkah.
470
00:19:24,450 --> 00:19:27,385
I just wanted you to care about me.
471
00:19:27,387 --> 00:19:28,919
That's why we came, you idiot.
472
00:19:28,921 --> 00:19:31,022
Now get your reindeer
to fly us out of here.
473
00:19:31,024 --> 00:19:33,391
Uh, we can't fly without Hanukkah magic.
474
00:19:33,393 --> 00:19:35,660
Before I was abducted,
I was just a college student
475
00:19:35,662 --> 00:19:37,528
trying to get my exercise science degree
476
00:19:37,530 --> 00:19:39,130
from the University of Miami.
477
00:19:39,132 --> 00:19:40,398
All: The "U."
478
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:43,367
[Screaming]
479
00:19:43,369 --> 00:19:46,337
[Trilling tongue]
480
00:19:46,339 --> 00:19:47,905
Oh, God, we're sitting ducks!
481
00:19:47,907 --> 00:19:50,708
Don't worry. I may not have
Christmas magic any more,
482
00:19:50,710 --> 00:19:52,443
but I do have the key.
483
00:19:52,445 --> 00:19:53,678
[Engine starts]
484
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,781
[Screaming]
485
00:19:56,783 --> 00:19:59,817
Damn it. I'll get you, Smiths.
486
00:19:59,819 --> 00:20:03,788
What the hell is with
all these weird stars?!
487
00:20:04,824 --> 00:20:06,624
[Bells jingling]
488
00:20:06,626 --> 00:20:09,527
Steve:
Maybe next Christmas no one will die.
489
00:20:09,529 --> 00:20:10,995
[Laughter]
490
00:20:10,997 --> 00:20:12,147
Hayley: Yeah, right.
491
00:20:14,233 --> 00:20:16,300
[Bells jingling]
492
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:19,970
Guys, I can't believe you
went to Miami without me.
493
00:20:19,972 --> 00:20:23,307
I know people.
I could have gotten us Marlins tickets.
494
00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:25,576
Back row of the bleachers, baby.
495
00:20:25,578 --> 00:20:27,878
Okay. Now, are you guys ready
496
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,447
for your Christmas present?
497
00:20:29,449 --> 00:20:30,748
How'd you have time to shop?
498
00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:33,484
This is a gift I was born with...
499
00:20:33,486 --> 00:20:35,019
my dance.
500
00:20:35,021 --> 00:20:36,487
Pfbtttt...
501
00:20:36,489 --> 00:20:37,555
Unh-eh-eh-eh...
502
00:20:37,557 --> 00:20:39,290
Whoa.
503
00:20:39,292 --> 00:20:41,959
Unh-eh-eh-eh...
504
00:20:41,961 --> 00:20:45,229
So you want to get Chinese
food and watch a movie?
505
00:20:45,231 --> 00:20:47,631
Of course, mom. It's tradition.
506
00:20:47,633 --> 00:20:50,267
Unh-eh-eh-eh...
507
00:20:50,269 --> 00:20:53,571
Now here's a little move
I call the Hatchimal.
508
00:20:53,573 --> 00:20:55,106
Whoo!
509
00:20:55,108 --> 00:20:55,940
[Screaming]
510
00:20:55,942 --> 00:20:58,275
Oh, grow up, everyone.
511
00:20:58,277 --> 00:20:59,277
Bye! Have a great time!
512
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:03,010
Synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com