1 00:00:03,133 --> 00:00:06,136 Today is our 10th Friendiversary. 2 00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:10,227 10 years ago, four kids entereda Chuck E. Cheese ball pit 3 00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:13,839 as strangers, but they emerged... 4 00:00:13,883 --> 00:00:15,319 [ Sniffles ] 5 00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:17,234 They emerged best friends. 6 00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:19,758 [ Wailing ] 7 00:00:19,802 --> 00:00:22,283 I promised myself I wouldn't do this! 8 00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:26,069 Let's skip the speech and go straight to dessert. 9 00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:29,203 [ R&B music plays ] 10 00:00:29,246 --> 00:00:31,335 ♪ In a Chuck E. Cheese 11 00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:34,338 ♪ These four boys will meet 12 00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:38,125 ♪ It's our Friendiversary 13 00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:40,083 ♪ Friendiversary 14 00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:44,522 ♪ We're Snot, we're Barry, we're Steve, and Toshi ♪ 15 00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:46,872 ♪ It's our Friendiversary 16 00:00:46,916 --> 00:00:49,701 ♪ Friendiversary 17 00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:56,447 ♪ It's our Friendiversary-y-y-y-y ♪ 18 00:00:56,491 --> 00:00:59,363 Squash, squash, squash! Squash, squash! 19 00:00:59,407 --> 00:01:01,322 Roger needs a squash partner! 20 00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:02,758 -Roger! -Steve! 21 00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:04,542 Big squash tourney tomorrow. 22 00:01:04,586 --> 00:01:06,892 I need you to be my squash partner. 23 00:01:06,936 --> 00:01:07,893 Squash. 24 00:01:07,937 --> 00:01:09,504 I don't even know what squash is. 25 00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:11,810 What?!Everyone knows squash. 26 00:01:11,854 --> 00:01:13,203 -Roger. -Squash. 27 00:01:13,247 --> 00:01:14,683 It's our Friendiversary. 28 00:01:14,726 --> 00:01:17,686 My week is jam-packed with friendship activities. 29 00:01:17,729 --> 00:01:19,688 Jam-packed! 30 00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:21,342 But, Steve -- 31 00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:23,344 I'm not gonna ditch my friends. 32 00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,694 Sorry, you'll need to find another squash partner. 33 00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:27,348 Everybody at the club is paired up, 34 00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:30,177 and the club doesn't allow blacks, Jews, or women. 35 00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:33,180 That rules out my tennis partner, Rashika Greenblatt. 36 00:01:33,223 --> 00:01:36,270 The racism is thick, but so is the club's lobster bisque, 37 00:01:36,313 --> 00:01:39,055 which is why I'll never walk away. 38 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,579 ♪♪ 39 00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:44,234 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. 40 00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:48,064 ♪ I got a feelin' thatit's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 41 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,198 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 42 00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:55,854 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 43 00:01:57,421 --> 00:02:00,598 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say 44 00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:03,384 ♪ Good -- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. 45 00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:04,385 Aah! 46 00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:09,041 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. 47 00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:13,742 If you have the legendary shards, 48 00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:16,223 I recommend you visit Xur on Titan 49 00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:18,790 and purchase the Wardcliff CoilRocket Launcher. 50 00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:20,227 [ Groans ] 51 00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:24,056 Then get the legendary shards,you [bleep] licking suckboy! 52 00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,232 Third graders. 53 00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:26,407 I can't believe it. 54 00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:28,191 I asked Steve to play squash 55 00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:30,367 and he wouldn't cancel plans with his friends. 56 00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:32,064 Those guys are tight,bro. 57 00:02:32,108 --> 00:02:33,979 They remind me of my boys in Tampa. 58 00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:35,546 You don't have friends in Tampa. 59 00:02:35,590 --> 00:02:37,331 [ Chuckling ] Okay, pal. 60 00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:38,810 Then why do I have a tattoo 61 00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:41,857 of an alligator in a bikinidriving down I-4? 62 00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:44,425 [ Man screams]Oh, you made me lose! 63 00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:48,255 Make him lose... his friends. 64 00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:50,474 Excellent idea, Klaus! 65 00:02:50,518 --> 00:02:51,997 [ Woman shouting indistinctly] 66 00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:55,479 Slow down, lady. Your son is a liar. 67 00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:56,611 What?! 68 00:02:56,654 --> 00:02:58,265 He was the one swearing at me, 69 00:02:58,308 --> 00:03:00,354 and he made a Chinese joke! 70 00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:01,442 [ Shouting continues ] 71 00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:04,271 Oh, w-- Well, I'm Chinese, too! 72 00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:08,275 [ Urinating, humming ] 73 00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:10,581 Man, look at the splash back. 74 00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:12,583 Got that Super Soaker thrust. 75 00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:14,803 You're just painting those Entertainment Weekly's 76 00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:16,631 in the magazine rack.[ Zips pants ] 77 00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:18,720 Your flattery won't get meto play squash. 78 00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:20,330 Squ-what? [ Laughs ] 79 00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:22,027 I haven't thought about that in ages. 80 00:03:22,071 --> 00:03:24,291 You seemed really into it,like, 10 minutes ago. 81 00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:27,381 Speaking of minutes ago, 82 00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:29,600 how many has it been since Barry ate? 83 00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:31,820 What a fat guy, don't you think? 84 00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:33,300 He does struggle with weight, 85 00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:36,259 but I love my Care Bare,big or small. 86 00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:37,826 Speaking of small, 87 00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:40,481 what about Snot's bank account,am I right? 88 00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:44,267 Oh, Snotter, so poor in money,so rich in character. 89 00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,486 You're impossible. 90 00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:46,661 I'm not gonna keep recording over 91 00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:49,054 all my great business ideas for this crap. 92 00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:52,841 Roger: A novelty device that transforms Julia Child's voice 93 00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:55,278 into a deep, scary monster voice. 94 00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:56,845 Oh, wait. Oh, wait, did I miss my stop? 95 00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:59,195 I'm looking for the ferry to Alcatraz. 96 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,979 Or is it swimmable? I'm on a budget. 97 00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:03,199 This is my first time in San Francisco. 98 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,853 That's not true. Why did I say that? 99 00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:08,291 I almost lost this because of you! 100 00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:14,166 This is pretty interesting. 101 00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:16,734 Four 12-year-old kidsdesigned a computer 102 00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:18,649 that destroyed all of Cincinnati. 103 00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:20,521 -Wow. -Oh, misread it. 104 00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,653 It was 412 1-year-olds. 105 00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,438 That's a lot less interesting. 106 00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,091 You guys aren't gonna believe this. 107 00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:27,310 Jeff has a talent! 108 00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:28,659 -Bullshit. -It's true. 109 00:04:28,703 --> 00:04:30,487 We were just watchingthe house-renovation show 110 00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:33,098 "Flip or Flop,"and Jeff knew when to flip 111 00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:34,665 and he knew when to flop. 112 00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:35,579 I did. 113 00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,320 How is this possible? 114 00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:39,888 Mom, when you look around the house, what do you see? 115 00:04:39,931 --> 00:04:41,455 Walls. 116 00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:42,499 Just a lot of walls. 117 00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:44,893 [ Scoffs ] Walls. What a noob. 118 00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:47,156 What do we see, Jeff,you and I? 119 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,114 When I look at a house, 120 00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:51,465 I can see beyond the walls... 121 00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,684 -Uh-huh. -...above the ceiling... 122 00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:55,904 -That's right. -...and below the floor. 123 00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:59,516 -Bingo. -I can see its bones. 124 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,126 Happy now, Francine? 125 00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:04,129 If we combine his instincts with your money, 126 00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:05,479 the sky's the limit. 127 00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:07,350 The sky, you say? 128 00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:11,833 He's surveying the bones of our house. 129 00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:14,357 He is? Well, don't hold out on us, Jeff. 130 00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:15,402 What do you see? 131 00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:19,406 [ Breathes deeply ] 132 00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:23,584 Your house has great bones. 133 00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:26,413 -[ Sighs ] -Wow, he's good. 134 00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:28,371 Do me, do me! How are my bones? 135 00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:29,720 [ Breathes deeply ] 136 00:05:29,764 --> 00:05:33,158 You're not a house, Mr. S. 137 00:05:33,202 --> 00:05:35,813 A goddamn master. 138 00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:40,601 Kick those legs, Barry! 139 00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:42,907 I can't do it! Swan! 140 00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:46,171 I'll never learn to swim. 141 00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:47,956 [ Coaxingly ] Barry. 142 00:05:47,999 --> 00:05:49,610 Barry. 143 00:05:49,653 --> 00:05:51,089 [ Chuckles ] 144 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:52,526 Stop making me laugh. 145 00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:54,223 There's that smile! 146 00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:56,965 Aww, I love you guys. 147 00:05:57,008 --> 00:06:00,403 Steve, I set up a cabana and filled it with strippers. 148 00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:01,752 Roger, go away. 149 00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:03,624 It's Friendiversary swim day. 150 00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:07,236 Why don't you come over here and swim into some strange? 151 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:10,413 This is Steve, the underage boyI was telling you about. 152 00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,023 You really don't get it,huh? 153 00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:13,677 These are my friends, 154 00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,462 and I'll neverturn my back on them. 155 00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:17,507 You can tell yourself that, but you'll slip up, 156 00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:19,422 just like I told myself I was never gonna see 157 00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,555 another Woody Allen movie, but there I was, 158 00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:23,426 first in line for "Blue Jasmine." 159 00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:25,994 So boring, so good. 160 00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:27,561 [ Dog barking, siren wailing in distance ] 161 00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:29,606 This neighborhood looks kind of seedy. 162 00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:32,435 Is that a Satanic church next door? 163 00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,219 They practice Santería. 164 00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:38,223 I don't know the difference,but I'm told there is one. 165 00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:40,661 Has anyone died in here? 166 00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:42,445 It feels like someone died in here. 167 00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:43,794 No! God no. 168 00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:45,883 The last owner was stabbed in the house, 169 00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:49,496 but he managed to crawl to the lawn before he died. 170 00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:51,454 Jeff, tell us about the house. 171 00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:56,154 Quite possibly the greatest bones I've ever seen. 172 00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:58,505 Let's see them bones! 173 00:06:58,548 --> 00:07:00,681 What the hell are you doing?! 174 00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:02,683 You know what? Screw it. 175 00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:05,033 I'm quitting this industry. 176 00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:09,690 I have quit a lot of industries,though. 177 00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,039 I'm reconsidering. 178 00:07:11,082 --> 00:07:14,695 Guess what. I'm back, babies! 179 00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:17,262 Aah! 180 00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:20,048 You know what? I'm quitting this body. 181 00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:23,747 I have quit a lot of bodies, though. 182 00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:25,619 I'm reconsidering. 183 00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:29,318 [ Screaming ] 184 00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:32,887 10 years ago, we met within the hallowed 185 00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:36,281 and ultimately unprofitable walls of this Chuck E. Cheese. 186 00:07:36,325 --> 00:07:39,415 The ball pit gave life to our friendship. 187 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,678 But it also gave life to a super fungus 188 00:07:41,722 --> 00:07:43,680 that blinded an entire Little League team 189 00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:45,508 and closed the doors forever. 190 00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:48,293 And now we immortalize our friendship 191 00:07:48,337 --> 00:07:50,121 with some light vandalism. 192 00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:58,652 Ugh, Toshi, that sucks. 193 00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,088 Announcer: That's right, Banksy. 194 00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:02,699 "American Dad's" calling you a hack! 195 00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,919 Reveal your identity and fight us. 196 00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:07,182 "American Dad" -- We are... 197 00:08:09,401 --> 00:08:13,231 [ Gravely voice ] Who disturbs my slumber? 198 00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:15,538 [ Boys screaming ] 199 00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:17,148 Aah! 200 00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:19,890 You vandalized my beautiful home! 201 00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:21,326 It wasn't my idea! 202 00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:23,546 Uh, Snot, Barry, and Toshimade me do it! 203 00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,679 [ Julia Child's voice ] Whoa, you turned on your friends so fast. 204 00:08:25,722 --> 00:08:27,419 I didn't even get to... 205 00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:29,770 [ Gravely voice ] ...clamp your balls in a mouse trap. 206 00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:31,249 Clamp their balls, not mine! 207 00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:34,252 T-They can't be far.I'll -- I'll help you find them. 208 00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:36,690 Toshi lives closest.I say we go there first. 209 00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:39,344 [ Gasps ]And we can trap Barrywith food. 210 00:08:39,388 --> 00:08:42,130 He'll eat himself to deathlike a goldfish. 211 00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:44,175 There's a lot of fightin Snot, 212 00:08:44,219 --> 00:08:45,829 but we can nab himwhen he's weakest -- 213 00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:48,223 right afterhe sells his plasma. 214 00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:51,139 Nah, I've got rat stuff to do. 215 00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:53,620 Good luck digging yourself out of this hole, Steve. 216 00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:55,360 How do you know my name? 217 00:08:55,404 --> 00:08:56,579 Uh... 218 00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:58,625 [ Julia Child's voice ] Chuck E. Cheese knows 219 00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:00,322 all the children's names. 220 00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:08,504 So...should we report the guy inthe rat costume 221 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,766 assaulting kids? [ Chuckles ] 222 00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:13,857 I'm more concerned about the rat in the guy costume 223 00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,598 assaulting friendships. 224 00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,731 -Snotter -- -Don't Snotter me. 225 00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:19,167 You betrayed us! 226 00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:23,214 I haven't felt this betrayedsince "Scrubs" moved to ABC! 227 00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:26,261 How old were you when that happened? 228 00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:30,395 Well, how old am I now and whenwas that, and now subtract. 229 00:09:30,439 --> 00:09:31,875 Think, Snot. Think! 230 00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:35,618 This bad blood -- this is on you! 231 00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:40,101 Snot, please take me back as a friend. 232 00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:41,798 I can't get Bluetooth to sync, 233 00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:44,888 but pretend it's playing your favorite Matisyahu song. 234 00:09:44,932 --> 00:09:46,455 So I should just pretend 235 00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:50,198 his entire catalogue is playingat the same time? 236 00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:51,416 Fat chance! 237 00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:55,377 You backstabbed usduring Friendiversary! 238 00:09:58,249 --> 00:09:59,511 0-for-3. 239 00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:02,776 I'd say you're 3-for-3 at losing your friends. 240 00:10:02,819 --> 00:10:04,081 Perfect record, bud. 241 00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,214 Thanks for puttinga positive spin on it. 242 00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:08,477 Looks like you'rethe only friend I have left. 243 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:11,654 We all make mistakes, but life is like a game of squash. 244 00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:12,829 You got to keep on whackin'. 245 00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:15,136 I forgot all about your tournament. 246 00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:15,919 Rotten Steve! 247 00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:17,486 You stop that right now. 248 00:10:17,529 --> 00:10:19,880 I doubt there's even time to enter the tournament. 249 00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:22,273 Well, we could make the cutoff. 250 00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,145 But we wouldn't be able to take my friend Nancy's 251 00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:26,016 hot aerobics class before. 252 00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:27,365 Would you be willing to play 253 00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:29,367 without taking Nancy's hot aerobics, Steve? 254 00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:31,152 Honestly, we won't be as loose. 255 00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:33,850 Okay.I'll be your squash partner. 256 00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:36,026 You're giving me a second chance at friendship, 257 00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:38,376 and this time,I'm gonna do it right. 258 00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:40,335 Oh! -You're doing it wrong! 259 00:10:40,378 --> 00:10:42,337 Damn it, Steve, clear a path! 260 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:43,730 You got it, friend. 261 00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:45,079 Get a clue, Steve. 262 00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:46,776 [Bleep] 263 00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:48,604 Well played, Chip. Your serve. 264 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,476 Hey, Rog, the kid'sall covered in welts. 265 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,087 -Your serve, Chip. -How about we call it? 266 00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:54,479 How about you serve, Chip? 267 00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:55,916 [ Sighs ] 268 00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:58,658 Okay, Steve, clear that path and we got this. 269 00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:06,970 [ Slow motion ] Clear a path! 270 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,279 Path! 271 00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:13,890 Clear it! 272 00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:16,327 Aah! 273 00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:18,112 [Bleep] 274 00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:22,769 Hell of a game. Nice backhand today, Bob. 275 00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:23,987 My partner just didn't have it. 276 00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:25,554 Is he gonna be okay? 277 00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:26,729 Are you gonna be okay? 278 00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:28,949 Hey, you just worry about the next round. 279 00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:30,864 Go win this thing. 280 00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:33,562 What are we doing next? 281 00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:34,824 I don't understand. 282 00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:36,173 You're acting like we're friends, 283 00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:39,002 but you're bad at squash. What am I missing here? 284 00:11:39,046 --> 00:11:40,961 You're missing high-quality backpacks 285 00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:42,919 made out of recycled materials! 286 00:11:42,963 --> 00:11:44,747 -I am? -[ Mockingly ] "I am?" 287 00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:45,879 [ Laughs ] Just kidding. 288 00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:47,358 Step inside. I'll hook you up. 289 00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:49,230 -Steve, I'm gonna do this. -I'll come with. 290 00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:50,884 [ Mockingly ] "I'll come with."[ Laughs ] 291 00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:53,974 You're worse than this guy. -You stay. 292 00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:55,932 You are really funny. 293 00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:00,371 [ Dog barking ] 294 00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:04,375 They don't make bones like thisanymore. 295 00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:06,334 Damn right. So, what's the next step? 296 00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:09,250 Renovations? -And cover up these bones? 297 00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:12,644 Mr. S, are you the stupidestperson I've ever met? 298 00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:14,429 -Jeff! -No, he's right. 299 00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:16,387 I spoke out of turn. Go on, Jeff. 300 00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:18,563 It's time to flip this house, 301 00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:22,611 and I recommend we only considerall-cash offers. 302 00:12:22,654 --> 00:12:25,266 A goddamn master. 303 00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:28,791 [ Groans ] 304 00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:30,575 I wish you weren't married, Chip. 305 00:12:30,619 --> 00:12:33,448 I bet your wife doesn't do this,Chip. 306 00:12:33,491 --> 00:12:34,928 [ Warbling ] 307 00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:37,017 Wakey, wakey. 308 00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,714 I made you breakfast in bed. 309 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,585 It's cold because it's almost dinnertime. 310 00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:43,153 -Okay, we need to talk. -Best friend talk. 311 00:12:43,197 --> 00:12:45,373 -Shut up and listen to me. -Best friend listen. 312 00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:47,679 Our so-called "friendship"was based on 313 00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:51,074 a mutual love of squash,which you didn't share. 314 00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:52,380 This is over. 315 00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,164 But -- But you're my only friend! 316 00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:55,949 No. Now clear a path. 317 00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,951 Sure thing, buddy. [ Laughs ] 318 00:12:57,994 --> 00:13:00,431 See? We can make this work. 319 00:13:00,475 --> 00:13:02,956 You've got a clingy friend on your hands, bro. 320 00:13:02,999 --> 00:13:04,609 [ Scoffs ]I'm gonna head over to the pier 321 00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:06,394 and work onmy robot man routine. 322 00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:08,613 Everything will be normalby the time I get back. 323 00:13:08,657 --> 00:13:11,965 Ahh, there's so many sick piers in Tampa. 324 00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:13,618 My boy Vance basically lives there. 325 00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:16,621 He makes bank selling butterfly knives to tourists. 326 00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:18,885 Nobody believesyou have friends in Tampa. 327 00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:23,846 Oh, yeah? Then where did I get skin cancer, smart guy? 328 00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:26,414 [ Coaster riders screaming ] 329 00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:30,070 Beep, boop, beep, beep, boop. 330 00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:31,985 Beep, boop, boop, beep... 331 00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:33,900 Dad, that robot wants money. 332 00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:36,990 ...beep, beep, boop, boop, beep... 333 00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:39,862 Stay away from him. These guys have diseases. 334 00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:41,037 Shut up! You don't know me. 335 00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:43,126 You're just a lucky guesser. 336 00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:44,693 Beep, boop, beep -- 337 00:13:44,736 --> 00:13:47,348 I'm Robot Man's best friend, Gold Boy. 338 00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:48,697 [ Whispering ] It's me -- Steve. 339 00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:50,525 [ Robot voice ] Get lost, Gold Boy. 340 00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:52,135 [ Normal voice ] No can do. 341 00:13:52,179 --> 00:13:54,268 I'm your sidekick for all eternity. 342 00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:56,096 [ Whispering ] And in real life, too. 343 00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:57,749 -Beep, boop! -Aah! 344 00:13:57,793 --> 00:14:01,101 Beep. 345 00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:03,059 [ Knock on door ] 346 00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:05,148 Hello! Welcome. 347 00:14:05,192 --> 00:14:07,107 So, it's protective bootiesfor everyone. 348 00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:09,065 I'm sure you've noticedthe bones. Huh? 349 00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:10,806 So, we're asking potential buyers 350 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,940 for a heartfelt letter outliningwhy you should get the house. 351 00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:17,030 Sorry, I thought this house was abandoned. 352 00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:18,683 See, my girlfriend has diarrhea, 353 00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:20,772 and I wanted to shoot up a little. 354 00:14:22,209 --> 00:14:24,124 Damn it!No one wants this house. 355 00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:27,127 Nobody cares about bones. 356 00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:28,737 Jeff screwed us! 357 00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:30,565 Jeffrey, is this true? 358 00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:31,827 Did you screw us? 359 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,307 Looks like I did, Mr. S. 360 00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:35,048 Okay, you can kill him. 361 00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:36,484 Run, babe! 362 00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:39,879 We're all gonna needfresh booties to go back in! 363 00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:45,145 [ Gargling ] 364 00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:47,712 I can't get rid of Steve. 365 00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:50,759 [ Chuckles ]Courtney, my boy in Tampa, 366 00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:51,978 he had a clinger like this. 367 00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:53,718 Florida State girl. 368 00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:54,763 You know how that goes. 369 00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:56,330 Actually, I don't, and neither do you 370 00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:58,201 because none of those people exist. 371 00:14:58,245 --> 00:14:59,768 I have an actual crisis! 372 00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:01,117 What did you expect? 373 00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:04,599 You blew up his entire supportsystem for a squash partner. 374 00:15:04,642 --> 00:15:06,079 [ Doorknob rattles ]Steve: Roger, you in there? 375 00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,123 You going wee-wee? 376 00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:08,211 What do I do, Klaus? 377 00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:10,083 Instead of losing Steve, 378 00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:14,174 you should be reuniting himwith his old friends. 379 00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:16,741 [ Drill whirs ] 380 00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:18,047 Peek-a-boo! 381 00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:19,092 Aah! 382 00:15:19,135 --> 00:15:20,441 You got me, buddy! 383 00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:22,617 How can I reunite Steve and his friends? 384 00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:25,185 Well, to learn about that, youhave to learn about friendship, 385 00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:27,143 and if you want tolearn about friendship, 386 00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:29,537 we have to go to Tampa. 387 00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:31,756 There's no way you have friends in Tampa. 388 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,237 But a little trip to get away from Steve, I'm in. 389 00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:36,544 Pack for the heat.You got any tank tops? 390 00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:39,416 I have a framed sleeveless Aaron Rodgers jersey. 391 00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:41,549 Hmm.Do you own a glass cutter? 392 00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,594 I do, but it's also framed. 393 00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:44,813 Okay, grab both frames 394 00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:47,207 and we'll figure it outon the way to the airport. 395 00:15:49,905 --> 00:15:54,344 ♪♪ 396 00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:55,867 [ Cellphone chimes ] 397 00:15:55,911 --> 00:15:57,391 Steve won't stop texting. 398 00:15:57,434 --> 00:15:59,828 "In line at a goat cheese sale. 399 00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:01,134 Pick you up a log?" 400 00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:03,005 Can you believe this guy? 401 00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:04,267 "Two logs." 402 00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:05,486 Relax. 403 00:16:05,529 --> 00:16:08,141 Steve just has toreunite with his old friends, 404 00:16:08,184 --> 00:16:10,621 and once you see how tight me and my boys are, 405 00:16:10,665 --> 00:16:12,884 you'll know how to make that happen. 406 00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:17,019 Now stop worrying and take inthese Florida swamps. 407 00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,239 Wow, so these are the people 408 00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:21,676 who decide who's president every time. 409 00:16:21,719 --> 00:16:25,027 We gon' make Hulk Hogan president! 410 00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:27,073 You know best! 411 00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:31,816 There's a doorbell. 412 00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:34,036 [ Electricity crackles, sour notes play ] 413 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,516 When you show up at a friend's house, 414 00:16:35,559 --> 00:16:38,258 make sure you bring a fancy gift. 415 00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:40,695 Here, give these blunt wraps to Big Ed. 416 00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:42,697 You're gonna love these dudes. 417 00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,220 They're so funny. 418 00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:46,962 'Sup? 419 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,182 'Sup? 420 00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:51,184 Whoa, no way. 421 00:16:51,227 --> 00:16:53,838 Your friends arereal. 422 00:16:53,882 --> 00:16:57,233 Look at this. There's an inside,and more guys! 423 00:16:57,277 --> 00:16:59,540 This is my boy, Roger. He's chill. 424 00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:01,324 He's here to learn about friendship. 425 00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:03,109 -'Sup? -'Sup? 426 00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:05,720 Whoa, Klaus' storiesare for real? 427 00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:08,897 I can't believe it.Astroturf rug -- check. 428 00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:12,074 Unlicensedexotic animal storage -- check. 429 00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:13,249 The fan that's never on 430 00:17:13,293 --> 00:17:16,513 despite it being120 degrees in here -- check. 431 00:17:16,557 --> 00:17:19,212 But surely the torn posterwas a work of fiction. 432 00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:21,344 [ Gasps ] The torn poster! 433 00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:23,216 In all its glory. 434 00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:26,654 Please, please take me tothe toilet Big Ed cracked 435 00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:28,264 when he sat on it backwards. 436 00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:30,353 What the hell are you doing out there? 437 00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:32,138 What? I was chill. 438 00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:33,313 Was I not chill? 439 00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:35,315 No, you're being all crazy. 440 00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:36,751 What was that bullshit about the fan? 441 00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:38,709 I told you that in confidence. 442 00:17:38,753 --> 00:17:39,710 Okay, sorry. 443 00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:41,364 [ Sighs ] I'm chill now. 444 00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:44,106 [ Snake hissing ]Holy [bleep] is thatthe water moccasin 445 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:47,153 Vance took to the Orlandopremier of "Scary Movie 4"?! 446 00:17:47,196 --> 00:17:48,893 Pull yourself together, man. 447 00:17:48,937 --> 00:17:51,331 Grab a room-temperature Otterpopfrom the lighter drawer 448 00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:53,898 and just...cool out. 449 00:17:53,942 --> 00:17:56,379 I'll go try to smooth it over with the guys. 450 00:17:56,423 --> 00:17:59,339 Roger, where are you going? 451 00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:01,167 We haven't solved your Steve problem. 452 00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:04,039 I thinkI got my problem solved. 453 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,128 [ Engine starts ] 454 00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,217 ♪ Y'all gon' make me lose my mind ♪ 455 00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:09,392 ♪ Up in here 456 00:18:11,568 --> 00:18:13,353 My mom and dad are gonna kill us! 457 00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:15,268 Francine: These walls won't hold forever! 458 00:18:15,311 --> 00:18:16,269 [ Sledgehammer slamming ] 459 00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:18,140 This is all my fault,babe. 460 00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:21,361 I never knew anythingabout flipping houses. 461 00:18:21,404 --> 00:18:25,016 I just wantedto be closer to you. 462 00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:26,409 Oh, babe. 463 00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:28,716 I love you for who you are. 464 00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:31,936 Old-Timey Narrator: And so ends 465 00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:36,245 the greatest love story ever told. 466 00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:37,986 ♪♪ 467 00:18:38,029 --> 00:18:40,293 ♪ Y'all gon' make me act a fool ♪ 468 00:18:40,336 --> 00:18:41,381 ♪ Up in here, up in here 469 00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:43,644 Roger, you returned to me! 470 00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:45,428 ♪ Y'all gon' make me lose my cool ♪ 471 00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:46,516 ♪ Up in here, up in here 472 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,431 -Whose car is this? -Buckle up. 473 00:18:48,475 --> 00:18:50,738 We're going to a Friendiversary event. 474 00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:52,653 Oh, those guysdon't want to see me. 475 00:18:52,696 --> 00:18:54,045 Of course they want to see you. 476 00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:56,091 You're gonna save their lives. -Huh? 477 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,659 ♪ 'Cause you a soft type -- What ♪ 478 00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:01,401 I figured out how to reunite youwith your friends. 479 00:19:01,444 --> 00:19:03,751 ♪ Dog is a dog, blood's thicker than water ♪ 480 00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:06,536 I put a water moccasin into the Chesterbrook pool, 481 00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:09,017 and then I invited your friendsto play Marco Polo 482 00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:10,975 with Olympic great Michael Phelps. 483 00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:13,326 People will believe anything in a Facebook invite. 484 00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:14,762 Fake news! 485 00:19:14,805 --> 00:19:16,459 Oh, my God,why would you do that?! 486 00:19:16,503 --> 00:19:20,376 So you can save their lives and prove your loyalty. 487 00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,335 [ Tires screech ] 488 00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:24,467 Go get your friends back. 489 00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:26,339 When Michael Phelps shows up, 490 00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:29,385 please don't tell himI'm sitting on six pool noodles. 491 00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:31,431 [ Panting ] Get out of the pool! 492 00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:32,910 There's a deadly snake! 493 00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:34,434 Save it, Steve. 494 00:19:34,477 --> 00:19:35,391 I know I betrayed you, 495 00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:36,784 but you got to believe me! 496 00:19:36,827 --> 00:19:38,089 Save it. 497 00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:40,483 You don't need to pretendto save our lives. 498 00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:43,007 We already forgive you,Steve. 499 00:19:43,051 --> 00:19:44,444 What? Y-You do? 500 00:19:44,487 --> 00:19:45,706 We got to talking, 501 00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:48,012 and a giant rat grabbing us, 502 00:19:48,056 --> 00:19:49,710 we all would've blabbed. 503 00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:56,804 I can't believe I got my best friends back. 504 00:19:56,847 --> 00:19:59,023 You were saying somethingabout a snake? 505 00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:00,503 Oh, my God, the snake! 506 00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:02,244 Roger: What's taking so long? 507 00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:05,247 [ Hisses ] 508 00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:06,727 Loud batch of Natty Ice. 509 00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:08,642 Oh, I dumped the wrong cooler. 510 00:20:08,685 --> 00:20:11,384 There's no snake in here. 511 00:20:11,427 --> 00:20:14,387 Roger must've lied to reunite us. 512 00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:16,215 Barry: Guys, look! I'm swimming! 513 00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:21,307 It's a Friendiversary miracle! 514 00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:23,483 Snake! 515 00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:25,746 [ Screams ] 516 00:20:27,704 --> 00:20:28,879 Man down! 517 00:20:30,446 --> 00:20:33,101 We need to find the biteand suck out the venom! 518 00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:36,365 All: Ooh! 519 00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:38,324 Inner thigh. 520 00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:40,500 [ Sighs ] I'll do it. 521 00:20:40,543 --> 00:20:42,415 No. We're best friends, 522 00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:46,070 and we'll all suck out the venom. 523 00:20:46,114 --> 00:20:50,858 ♪♪ 524 00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:53,991 Roger: I think I finally understand friendship. 525 00:20:54,035 --> 00:20:56,429 Old-Timey Narrator: And so ends 526 00:20:56,472 --> 00:21:02,173 the greatest love story ever told. 527 00:21:02,217 --> 00:21:04,132 Have a great night!