1
00:00:03,700 --> 00:00:05,633
Guys, we made it.

2
00:00:05,668 --> 00:00:08,169
We're finally invited to
a party with the cool kids.

3
00:00:08,204 --> 00:00:09,737
That's right, boys.

4
00:00:09,772 --> 00:00:12,073
Once again, we're
being socially rewarded

5
00:00:12,108 --> 00:00:13,708
thanks to my...

6
00:00:13,743 --> 00:00:16,444
Kermit the frog voice.

7
00:00:16,479 --> 00:00:18,512
- Wocka, wocka, wocka.
- We're at the door.

8
00:00:18,548 --> 00:00:20,548
Seriously, guys. Shut the [Bleep] up.

9
00:00:22,218 --> 00:00:24,552
Oh, this is great. You guys came!

10
00:00:24,604 --> 00:00:27,154
Of course. One needn't always watch

11
00:00:27,190 --> 00:00:29,423
"C.S.I. Cyber" the night that it airs.

12
00:00:29,459 --> 00:00:32,259
Turn your invitations over.

13
00:00:35,398 --> 00:00:39,066
Oh, no, the back! Why
didn't we read the back?

14
00:00:39,102 --> 00:00:40,668
Do we have to stay for this?

15
00:00:40,703 --> 00:00:43,237
What's the etiquette here?

16
00:00:45,742 --> 00:00:47,742
Yeah!

17
00:00:53,833 --> 00:00:55,249
Steve!

18
00:00:55,284 --> 00:00:57,051
Go on without me!

19
00:00:57,086 --> 00:01:00,137
No! Never leave a friend behind.

20
00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:13,300
Aw! Aw!

21
00:01:14,604 --> 00:01:16,037
Ha ha!

22
00:01:40,046 --> 00:01:41,262
Aah!

23
00:01:49,522 --> 00:01:51,305
Oh, man.

24
00:01:51,307 --> 00:01:54,525
Looks like the party really
took off after we left.

25
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,210
Should we have stayed?

26
00:01:56,245 --> 00:01:58,312
I just wanted to go
to one awesome party.

27
00:01:58,347 --> 00:02:00,314
Throw your own party.

28
00:02:00,349 --> 00:02:01,649
E-excuse me?

29
00:02:01,684 --> 00:02:04,051
You're sick of not
having parties to go to?

30
00:02:04,087 --> 00:02:05,586
Throw your own.

31
00:02:05,621 --> 00:02:09,123
Sounds to me like you
boys deserve your moment

32
00:02:09,158 --> 00:02:10,658
of being cool.

33
00:02:13,546 --> 00:02:15,129
That was weird.

34
00:02:15,164 --> 00:02:17,364
Gentlemen, that man at Bobby Freeze

35
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:18,599
was on to something.

36
00:02:18,634 --> 00:02:20,501
And when a weird man approaches you,

37
00:02:20,536 --> 00:02:23,170
a young boy in public,
you do what he tells you.

38
00:02:23,206 --> 00:02:24,588
We're having a party.

39
00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:26,474
- Where?
- Right here.

40
00:02:26,509 --> 00:02:28,976
My parents are on vacation in Sarajevo.

41
00:02:29,011 --> 00:02:30,344
Every four years,

42
00:02:30,379 --> 00:02:32,246
they like to tour a former Olympic site

43
00:02:32,281 --> 00:02:34,014
so they can imagine
what the games were like

44
00:02:34,050 --> 00:02:36,183
and reflect on how the
Olympians' best days

45
00:02:36,219 --> 00:02:37,551
are long behind them.

46
00:02:37,587 --> 00:02:39,386
Great idea for a vacation.

47
00:02:39,422 --> 00:02:41,122
The Olympics create more problems

48
00:02:41,157 --> 00:02:42,456
than they fix for a city.

49
00:02:42,492 --> 00:02:43,958
And every year,

50
00:02:43,993 --> 00:02:45,259
they leave me a special allowance

51
00:02:45,294 --> 00:02:46,594
in case I decide to have some fun

52
00:02:46,629 --> 00:02:47,995
while they're away.

53
00:02:48,030 --> 00:02:49,196
I've never touched it.

54
00:02:49,232 --> 00:02:51,999
So we can spend $400
on an awesome party.

55
00:02:52,034 --> 00:02:54,201
And the popular kids won't be invited.

56
00:02:54,237 --> 00:02:57,271
It'll be for kids like
us... The dorks and nerds.

57
00:02:57,306 --> 00:02:59,573
And the kids who are both
stupid and unattractive.

58
00:02:59,609 --> 00:03:01,142
Aren't those dorks?

59
00:03:01,177 --> 00:03:03,344
No, dorks are often quite good-looking.

60
00:03:03,379 --> 00:03:07,047
We'll invite small head David,
uh, friendless Becky Fleming.

61
00:03:07,083 --> 00:03:08,949
Lolo Fuentes.

62
00:03:08,985 --> 00:03:13,120
Sexually curious homeschooled
girl Lolo Fuentes?

63
00:03:13,156 --> 00:03:15,256
Her parents don't let
her leave the house.

64
00:03:15,291 --> 00:03:17,057
Maybe she'd sneak out for this.

65
00:03:17,093 --> 00:03:19,493
'Cause this is gonna be
a party for all the kids

66
00:03:19,529 --> 00:03:21,295
who are never included.

67
00:03:21,330 --> 00:03:23,230
A party for the...

68
00:03:23,266 --> 00:03:24,948
Unincludeds!

69
00:03:24,984 --> 00:03:27,134
The deaf kids!

70
00:03:34,996 --> 00:03:36,962
Francine, come and
picture what it was like

71
00:03:36,998 --> 00:03:39,732
to watch the opening
ceremonies from here.

72
00:03:39,766 --> 00:03:42,867
Ever done it in an abandoned
eastern bloc sports arena?

73
00:03:42,903 --> 00:03:45,503
Mmm, that depends.

74
00:03:45,539 --> 00:03:48,473
Is Romania in the eastern bloc?

75
00:03:48,508 --> 00:03:50,742
And does it still count if the stadium

76
00:03:50,777 --> 00:03:54,579
was full of screaming spectators?

77
00:03:58,885 --> 00:04:01,786
What kind of food is
"Nouveau Fretalian"?

78
00:04:01,822 --> 00:04:03,788
Stick with me. I'm gonna nail my order.

79
00:04:03,824 --> 00:04:05,557
Hi. What can I get you?

80
00:04:05,592 --> 00:04:08,426
I guess I'll have the beet salad,

81
00:04:08,462 --> 00:04:10,929
and, um, the Risotto,
and a glass of red wine.

82
00:04:10,964 --> 00:04:12,497
Um, anything that's not too expensive.

83
00:04:12,532 --> 00:04:13,698
Great order.

84
00:04:13,733 --> 00:04:16,334
Oh, please.

85
00:04:16,369 --> 00:04:18,536
I'll have the tuna
tartare with quail egg,

86
00:04:18,538 --> 00:04:21,589
the duck with pear mostarda,
and a glass of Prosecco.

87
00:04:21,625 --> 00:04:23,458
I'll put that in right away.

88
00:04:24,778 --> 00:04:27,846
How could she compliment
your order and not mine?

89
00:04:27,881 --> 00:04:29,047
Did she?

90
00:04:29,099 --> 00:04:30,548
Please, she practically dry-humped

91
00:04:30,550 --> 00:04:31,766
your turd of an order.

92
00:04:31,802 --> 00:04:33,351
Mine was inspired.

93
00:04:33,386 --> 00:04:34,853
She should've said "great order" to me!

94
00:04:34,888 --> 00:04:36,638
Maybe she sensed that you
were gonna make me pay.

95
00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:37,939
Of course you're paying for this.

96
00:04:37,974 --> 00:04:39,390
Who do you think was paying for this?

97
00:04:39,442 --> 00:04:40,608
That I'd pay for this?

98
00:04:40,644 --> 00:04:42,060
After the way I've been treated?!

99
00:04:49,402 --> 00:04:51,402
Whoa, it's packed!

100
00:04:53,490 --> 00:04:55,874
Yo, I heard you losers
are having a party.

101
00:04:55,909 --> 00:04:57,826
And I go to every party

102
00:04:57,878 --> 00:04:59,878
'cause I kinda have a drinking problem.

103
00:04:59,913 --> 00:05:02,514
Welcome. If you would
just stand on that "X,"

104
00:05:02,549 --> 00:05:04,883
someone will be along to take your coat.

105
00:05:04,918 --> 00:05:07,585
Coat check! Nice touch.

106
00:05:08,755 --> 00:05:11,472
It's actually a little chilly.

107
00:05:11,508 --> 00:05:13,258
I might hang on to my coat.

108
00:05:13,310 --> 00:05:15,510
Hey, Mertz! How do you like your eggs?

109
00:05:15,562 --> 00:05:17,795
I like 'em hard-boiled in the Winter

110
00:05:17,831 --> 00:05:19,931
so I can put 'em in my pockets

111
00:05:19,966 --> 00:05:22,800
and keep my hands warm on my walk to...

112
00:05:24,437 --> 00:05:26,571
Aah!

113
00:05:27,691 --> 00:05:31,009
Guys, we've become what we despise.

114
00:05:32,045 --> 00:05:34,445
- Yay!
- All right!

115
00:05:34,447 --> 00:05:37,031
Our reign of cool starts now.

116
00:05:43,631 --> 00:05:45,279
- Whoa!
- Who are you?

117
00:05:45,375 --> 00:05:48,543
I'm you, Steve, from the year 2040.

118
00:05:48,595 --> 00:05:51,596
And I'm you, Snot, and
we're here to warn you.

119
00:05:51,598 --> 00:05:53,631
You can't go back to that party.

120
00:05:54,885 --> 00:05:56,634
If you're from the future,

121
00:05:56,636 --> 00:05:58,853
who wins the world series next year?

122
00:05:58,889 --> 00:06:00,438
Rene Russo.

123
00:06:00,473 --> 00:06:02,941
Buckle up, it's a crazy season.

124
00:06:07,852 --> 00:06:10,653
Future us? We're so polished.

125
00:06:10,689 --> 00:06:13,623
Steve, look at us!
We're still hanging out.

126
00:06:13,658 --> 00:06:15,158
Yeah, we're best friends,

127
00:06:15,193 --> 00:06:17,627
like Taylor Swift and Usain Bolt.

128
00:06:17,662 --> 00:06:19,562
Oh, you don't know about that yet.

129
00:06:19,597 --> 00:06:20,830
They become best friends,

130
00:06:20,865 --> 00:06:22,498
briefly overthrow the U.S. government,

131
00:06:22,534 --> 00:06:24,133
and are beheaded
together in Times Square.

132
00:06:24,169 --> 00:06:26,636
Steve, they don't want
a boring history lesson.

133
00:06:26,671 --> 00:06:28,104
What's important is

134
00:06:28,139 --> 00:06:31,107
we've been inseparable
for, like, 30 years.

135
00:06:31,142 --> 00:06:34,177
And together, we
invented the time machine.

136
00:06:35,547 --> 00:06:37,613
See, here's the secret to life...

137
00:06:37,649 --> 00:06:39,649
If you're an awkward outsider as a kid,

138
00:06:39,684 --> 00:06:42,819
you end up being a rich, cool,
and very successful adult.

139
00:06:42,854 --> 00:06:44,454
But a few days ago,

140
00:06:44,489 --> 00:06:46,022
we had a couple failures in the lab,

141
00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:47,590
and that was weird.

142
00:06:47,625 --> 00:06:49,792
And when I got a memory
of getting a blow job

143
00:06:49,828 --> 00:06:52,562
in high school, we knew
something was very wrong.

144
00:06:52,597 --> 00:06:54,097
Oh, no, that's so bad.

145
00:06:54,132 --> 00:06:56,532
We checked the security
footage from our lab

146
00:06:56,568 --> 00:06:59,602
and noticed that Mertz stole
one of our time machines.

147
00:06:59,637 --> 00:07:02,572
I bet Mertz was that
janitor in Bobby Freeze!

148
00:07:02,607 --> 00:07:04,474
He... he told us to have a party.

149
00:07:04,509 --> 00:07:07,343
Oh! He wants you to be cool now

150
00:07:07,379 --> 00:07:09,579
so in the future, you
aren't as successful.

151
00:07:09,614 --> 00:07:12,415
You guys can't go back
down to that party.

152
00:07:12,450 --> 00:07:13,526
What?

153
00:07:13,561 --> 00:07:16,386
You're asking us to give
up our chance to be popular

154
00:07:16,421 --> 00:07:18,788
and talk to all the girls
who are here to see us?

155
00:07:18,823 --> 00:07:20,923
It better be worth it for us later on.

156
00:07:20,959 --> 00:07:22,625
Oh, it is.

157
00:07:22,660 --> 00:07:25,528
I've had sex four times
with three different women.

158
00:07:25,563 --> 00:07:29,499
You hear that, Snot? Someone
came back for seconds.

159
00:07:29,534 --> 00:07:31,467
Snot?

160
00:07:31,503 --> 00:07:35,638
He went down to the party!
He's gonna ruin everything!

161
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:38,524
Okay, go get him, but
don't talk to anyone.

162
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,309
Don't do anything memorable.

163
00:07:40,362 --> 00:07:43,346
Just make your usual
zero impact on people.

164
00:07:43,381 --> 00:07:44,881
Your future depends on it.

165
00:07:46,034 --> 00:07:47,984
What happens to me and Toshi?

166
00:07:48,019 --> 00:07:50,586
Toshi stopped talking
to us after high school.

167
00:07:52,957 --> 00:07:54,957
And Barry, old friend,

168
00:07:54,993 --> 00:07:57,427
you died young in a
formula one accident.

169
00:07:57,462 --> 00:08:00,063
Did a wheel hop the
grandstand and take my head off

170
00:08:00,098 --> 00:08:02,765
because I was looking the
other way because of nachos?

171
00:08:02,801 --> 00:08:06,269
No, you were a super famous driver.

172
00:08:06,304 --> 00:08:07,537
Oh.

173
00:08:07,572 --> 00:08:10,373
In fact, during your final grand prix,

174
00:08:10,408 --> 00:08:12,375
you got blinded by the amount of tits

175
00:08:12,410 --> 00:08:13,876
being flashed in your face.

176
00:08:13,912 --> 00:08:15,878
But you kept your
foot on the gas, Barry.

177
00:08:15,914 --> 00:08:17,513
That was your way.

178
00:08:17,549 --> 00:08:20,349
No one had ever seen a
blind guy drive so straight.

179
00:08:20,385 --> 00:08:22,785
If only it had been a straight course.

180
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,440
I don't wanna do this.

181
00:08:27,492 --> 00:08:29,392
Since when did that
ever affect what we do?

182
00:08:29,427 --> 00:08:30,760
- So, you know the plan?
- Yeah.

183
00:08:30,795 --> 00:08:32,428
We reverse our orders from the last time

184
00:08:32,464 --> 00:08:33,863
to see if she compliments your order.

185
00:08:33,898 --> 00:08:36,332
And if she doesn't,
we'll know it's personal.

186
00:08:36,367 --> 00:08:38,267
And if it's personal, you wanna guess

187
00:08:38,303 --> 00:08:40,036
which direction the
shit's going, Hayley?

188
00:08:40,071 --> 00:08:43,372
"A," down. "B," up.
"C," none of the above!

189
00:08:43,408 --> 00:08:44,640
Take the test, Hayley!

190
00:08:44,676 --> 00:08:46,379
- "A!"
- Which one was "A"?

191
00:08:46,415 --> 00:08:47,819
Down. That's right!

192
00:08:47,821 --> 00:08:50,346
- Good evening.
- Oh! Buenos noches.

193
00:08:50,381 --> 00:08:51,814
I think we're ready.

194
00:08:51,850 --> 00:08:53,850
I'll have the beet salad, Risotto,

195
00:08:53,885 --> 00:08:55,852
- and a glass of red wine.
- And for you?

196
00:08:55,887 --> 00:08:58,621
I'll have the quail egg, tuna tartare,

197
00:08:58,656 --> 00:09:01,591
the duck with pear mostarda,

198
00:09:01,626 --> 00:09:03,726
and a glass of, uh, prosecco.

199
00:09:03,761 --> 00:09:04,927
Ooh, great order.

200
00:09:04,963 --> 00:09:06,562
No, no, absolutely no!

201
00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:08,448
Why did you tell her
she had a great order,

202
00:09:08,483 --> 00:09:10,650
- but not me?
- Did I? I'm sorry.

203
00:09:10,702 --> 00:09:13,543
I have a date tonight.
I wasn't even thinking.

204
00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:17,114
You heard her. It's personal.

205
00:09:17,166 --> 00:09:18,911
That's not what she... It's personal!

206
00:09:24,415 --> 00:09:26,799
Oh... zero impact.

207
00:09:26,835 --> 00:09:29,418
Don't even make a ripple.

208
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,658
Klaus, have you seen Snot?

209
00:09:33,710 --> 00:09:35,326
Why would I be looking for Snot?

210
00:09:35,328 --> 00:09:37,211
This dude's hitting on me!

211
00:09:37,248 --> 00:09:39,998
- It's Steve!
- Steve, come hang out!

212
00:09:40,050 --> 00:09:41,333
Don't even make eye contact.

213
00:09:48,092 --> 00:09:50,058
Lolo Fuentes.

214
00:09:50,094 --> 00:09:51,977
Lolo Fuentes.

215
00:09:52,012 --> 00:09:53,345
It's Lolo Fuentes.

216
00:09:53,347 --> 00:09:55,013
That's Lolo Fuentes.

217
00:09:55,015 --> 00:09:57,015
Lolo Fuentes is here.

218
00:09:57,067 --> 00:09:59,351
Lolo Fuentes.

219
00:10:08,896 --> 00:10:10,329
Steve Smith?

220
00:10:10,364 --> 00:10:11,997
Um...

221
00:10:12,032 --> 00:10:13,365
I'm Lolo Fuentes.

222
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,133
I've been homeschooled my entire life,

223
00:10:15,169 --> 00:10:17,636
and I've never socialized
with peers before tonight.

224
00:10:17,671 --> 00:10:18,837
Thank you for including me.

225
00:10:18,872 --> 00:10:22,774
Uhh...

226
00:10:22,810 --> 00:10:24,109
I've never talked to a boy before,

227
00:10:24,144 --> 00:10:26,178
but even I can tell you're being smooth.

228
00:10:26,213 --> 00:10:27,946
And I can't lie.

229
00:10:27,982 --> 00:10:29,915
I'm... I'm feeling some new feelings.

230
00:10:29,950 --> 00:10:32,284
May... may I hug you?

231
00:10:32,319 --> 00:10:33,986
Zero impact.

232
00:10:34,021 --> 00:10:35,887
You know just what to say.

233
00:10:35,923 --> 00:10:37,089
Mm...

234
00:10:37,124 --> 00:10:39,274
- # I'm #
- Mm!

235
00:10:39,310 --> 00:10:41,977
- # Gonna swing #
- Whoa!

236
00:10:42,029 --> 00:10:44,029
- # From the chandelier #
- Check out Steve-O!

237
00:10:44,064 --> 00:10:45,314
Steve's the man!

238
00:10:45,366 --> 00:10:46,982
Nice work, camera guy.

239
00:10:47,034 --> 00:10:48,734
Thanks, man.

240
00:10:48,736 --> 00:10:50,736
No one's more unincluded
thank the camera guy.

241
00:10:55,409 --> 00:10:58,160
# Like it doesn't exist #

242
00:10:58,212 --> 00:11:00,912
Steve, when you grow up
and your life's awesome,

243
00:11:00,965 --> 00:11:03,582
you're gonna look back
on this moment, bro.

244
00:11:03,617 --> 00:11:06,852
This is the moment
that changed everything.

245
00:11:06,887 --> 00:11:09,921
# Feel my tears as they dry #

246
00:11:09,923 --> 00:11:12,808
- # I'm... #
- Steve!

247
00:11:12,843 --> 00:11:14,643
Hey, where am I?

248
00:11:14,678 --> 00:11:16,995
A second ago I was
blasting my abs at the gym

249
00:11:17,031 --> 00:11:20,565
where I train for free
because I'm assistant manager.

250
00:11:20,601 --> 00:11:23,068
Whoa! I'm so ripped now.

251
00:11:23,103 --> 00:11:24,770
How many girls have you had sex with?

252
00:11:24,822 --> 00:11:27,022
How many girls haven't I had sex with?

253
00:11:27,074 --> 00:11:28,240
Zero.

254
00:11:28,275 --> 00:11:29,908
I'm awesome!

255
00:11:29,943 --> 00:11:32,110
I'm not awesome! Look at me.

256
00:11:32,112 --> 00:11:34,579
Am I under a roof?

257
00:11:34,615 --> 00:11:36,248
Sheets!

258
00:11:38,252 --> 00:11:40,652
Steve, what did you do?

259
00:11:40,688 --> 00:11:42,721
I went downstairs to look for you!

260
00:11:42,756 --> 00:11:46,224
I was in the bathroom.
I'd never go downstairs.

261
00:11:46,260 --> 00:11:48,727
I love my future self.

262
00:11:48,762 --> 00:11:50,796
The clean one. Sorry, dude.

263
00:11:50,848 --> 00:11:53,932
Look, I'm the one who
gave up. It's my bad.

264
00:11:53,967 --> 00:11:57,302
I... I didn't do anything cool, I swear.

265
00:11:57,337 --> 00:11:59,237
You must've done something
cool in the bathroom.

266
00:11:59,273 --> 00:12:00,772
I assure you,

267
00:12:00,808 --> 00:12:02,941
what I did in the bathroom was not cool.

268
00:12:02,976 --> 00:12:04,810
Steve, come downstairs

269
00:12:04,862 --> 00:12:06,978
so we can keep making
out and breaking things.

270
00:12:08,565 --> 00:12:10,082
Lolo, bunny, give us a second.

271
00:12:11,587 --> 00:12:13,553
How could you do this to us?!

272
00:12:13,589 --> 00:12:16,523
I couldn't help myself!
It's Lolo Fuentes!

273
00:12:16,558 --> 00:12:18,959
Look, all we have to
do is go back in time

274
00:12:18,994 --> 00:12:20,293
and undo what I just did.

275
00:12:20,329 --> 00:12:21,928
How are you gonna do that?

276
00:12:21,964 --> 00:12:23,463
With your time machine.

277
00:12:23,499 --> 00:12:26,566
Whoa, oh oh! I have a time machine?

278
00:12:26,602 --> 00:12:28,001
It's gone!

279
00:12:29,505 --> 00:12:31,171
Whoa, oh, oh, oh!

280
00:12:31,206 --> 00:12:33,140
I don't have a time machine.

281
00:12:33,175 --> 00:12:35,175
Time for a 1-minute plank.

282
00:12:35,210 --> 00:12:37,477
1 banana, 2 banana,

283
00:12:37,513 --> 00:12:39,079
3 banana...

284
00:12:43,442 --> 00:12:46,649
Steve! You ruined my future!

285
00:12:46,674 --> 00:12:48,445
Not necessarily.

286
00:12:48,447 --> 00:12:51,114
Maybe you're a bum by choice, you know?

287
00:12:51,116 --> 00:12:52,782
Get out of the rat race.

288
00:12:52,834 --> 00:12:55,502
Oh, no, no, no. I'm not
doing a rat race again.

289
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:58,631
They're fixed. The rats
know all the shortcuts.

290
00:12:58,790 --> 00:13:00,373
My rain boots.

291
00:13:00,425 --> 00:13:03,793
Look, Snot, our futures
clearly aren't set in stone.

292
00:13:03,795 --> 00:13:06,363
Let's just go downstairs so
you can do something cool.

293
00:13:06,398 --> 00:13:09,182
Then your future will be
awesome just like mine.

294
00:13:09,217 --> 00:13:11,351
I guess it's worth a shot.

295
00:13:11,386 --> 00:13:14,137
Barry, who's training you these days?

296
00:13:20,228 --> 00:13:22,812
- Steve's back!
- Whoo, yeah!

297
00:13:22,864 --> 00:13:25,865
If I'm cool here, you
can be cool here, too.

298
00:13:25,901 --> 00:13:29,402
There's Becky standing all alone.

299
00:13:29,454 --> 00:13:32,706
- Go bring her a drink.
- Okay.

300
00:13:34,209 --> 00:13:35,825
Hey, Becky.

301
00:13:35,827 --> 00:13:39,963
In this sea of losers,
you're the real standout.

302
00:13:39,998 --> 00:13:42,332
We may be unincluded,

303
00:13:42,334 --> 00:13:44,834
but I'm including you

304
00:13:44,886 --> 00:13:48,171
in my masturbation fantasies later.

305
00:13:49,341 --> 00:13:50,974
Soda?!

306
00:13:51,009 --> 00:13:53,810
My shirt is ruined!

307
00:13:53,845 --> 00:13:55,812
This is the first
party I've ever been to,

308
00:13:55,847 --> 00:13:57,897
and it's ruined!

309
00:13:57,933 --> 00:14:00,934
Wah!

310
00:14:02,688 --> 00:14:04,070
- Whoa.
- Maybe there's a reason

311
00:14:04,106 --> 00:14:06,156
some of these people
don't get invited to stuff.

312
00:14:06,191 --> 00:14:09,275
I blew it. I'm never
talking to a girl again.

313
00:14:09,327 --> 00:14:11,194
No way. That took guts.

314
00:14:11,196 --> 00:14:14,197
Let's go upstairs and meet the
new and improved future you.

315
00:14:14,249 --> 00:14:16,116
Hey, Steve.

316
00:14:22,624 --> 00:14:24,090
Snot, I gotta tell you,

317
00:14:24,126 --> 00:14:26,342
she's a hell of a lot
better at this than you are.

318
00:14:28,296 --> 00:14:31,264
Hey! Future me is even bigger.

319
00:14:31,299 --> 00:14:33,717
And he got a sweet
new deep V-neck hoodie.

320
00:14:33,719 --> 00:14:34,968
'Sup?

321
00:14:35,020 --> 00:14:36,603
Where's future me?

322
00:14:36,638 --> 00:14:38,638
Someone peed in there.

323
00:14:38,690 --> 00:14:40,940
How did I become a convict?

324
00:14:40,976 --> 00:14:44,561
Long time ago, I spilled a
drink on this girl, Becky,

325
00:14:44,613 --> 00:14:46,312
and she screamed at me.

326
00:14:46,364 --> 00:14:48,898
I vowed never to speak to a woman again.

327
00:14:48,950 --> 00:14:50,617
And I never did...

328
00:14:50,652 --> 00:14:53,236
Not even the ones I ate.

329
00:14:53,238 --> 00:14:54,738
Steve!

330
00:14:54,790 --> 00:14:56,239
Don't even worry about it.

331
00:14:56,291 --> 00:14:58,625
Sounds like all you have
to do is talk to a girl

332
00:14:58,660 --> 00:15:01,327
in the near 20 years and
this guy? Poof, he's gone.

333
00:15:01,379 --> 00:15:03,663
You're right. Let's do it now.

334
00:15:03,715 --> 00:15:06,132
Do I hear girls downstairs?

335
00:15:06,168 --> 00:15:10,086
And if so, does your
basement have, like,

336
00:15:10,088 --> 00:15:12,889
one of those drains in the floor?

337
00:15:17,763 --> 00:15:19,596
There's some girls. Talk to 'em.

338
00:15:20,899 --> 00:15:22,065
Hi.

339
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:23,566
We're smokers.

340
00:15:23,602 --> 00:15:25,235
If you wanna talk to
us, you gotta smoke.

341
00:15:30,609 --> 00:15:33,076
Okay, you talked to a girl.

342
00:15:33,111 --> 00:15:36,996
Oh, my god! I had a tracheotomy!

343
00:15:37,032 --> 00:15:38,915
Actually,

344
00:15:38,950 --> 00:15:42,585
my master said I needed a new sex hole.

345
00:15:44,289 --> 00:15:46,122
This is hopeless!

346
00:15:46,124 --> 00:15:49,125
No matter what we do,
future me is doomed.

347
00:15:49,177 --> 00:15:50,960
Wait a minute.

348
00:15:50,962 --> 00:15:52,929
We've been trying to make you look cool,

349
00:15:52,964 --> 00:15:54,848
when everybody here is a nerd.

350
00:15:54,883 --> 00:15:56,800
We need to play to our audience.

351
00:15:56,852 --> 00:15:58,768
Have you been practicing your magic?

352
00:15:58,804 --> 00:16:00,687
Magic doesn't exist.

353
00:16:00,722 --> 00:16:03,056
But illusions are real!

354
00:16:03,108 --> 00:16:04,724
If you'd given me a heads up,

355
00:16:04,776 --> 00:16:06,476
I'd be holding flowers right now.

356
00:16:09,648 --> 00:16:11,815
My card's not in the deck.

357
00:16:11,867 --> 00:16:13,859
Oh, man, are you sure?

358
00:16:13,922 --> 00:16:15,922
I know the card I picked.

359
00:16:17,072 --> 00:16:19,656
Would you mind cutting open that orange?

360
00:16:23,662 --> 00:16:25,044
That's an amazing trick. Let's go.

361
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,746
Did that work?

362
00:16:36,808 --> 00:16:39,926
Lady, you are about to deeply regret

363
00:16:39,978 --> 00:16:44,230
not telling me you liked my order.
Sounds trivial when I say it out loud

364
00:16:44,266 --> 00:16:45,849
But I know in my heart, it's not.

365
00:16:47,068 --> 00:16:48,768
Need a job now.

366
00:16:48,820 --> 00:16:51,521
This is an outstanding résumé.

367
00:16:51,523 --> 00:16:52,906
You start Monday.

368
00:16:52,941 --> 00:16:54,941
No, I'm-a start right now.

369
00:16:59,781 --> 00:17:02,699
Why didn't I open with that?
I knew I was gonna do it.

370
00:17:02,751 --> 00:17:04,033
Good evening, may I...

371
00:17:04,035 --> 00:17:05,535
Take your order?

372
00:17:05,537 --> 00:17:07,170
I'll have the ricotta and egg raviolo

373
00:17:07,205 --> 00:17:08,705
and the filet of sole.

374
00:17:08,707 --> 00:17:10,456
That is a great order.

375
00:17:10,508 --> 00:17:12,709
A great order. And you?

376
00:17:12,711 --> 00:17:15,128
Tough order to follow. Bed
shitting potential is high.

377
00:17:15,180 --> 00:17:16,546
I'll have the same.

378
00:17:22,721 --> 00:17:24,971
What is happening?!

379
00:17:25,023 --> 00:17:26,639
How did I get this way?

380
00:17:30,061 --> 00:17:32,445
I can't even explain it to us!

381
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,397
Snot, relax.

382
00:17:34,399 --> 00:17:36,115
No matter what happens
to you in the future,

383
00:17:36,151 --> 00:17:37,984
at least we'll always be friends.

384
00:17:38,036 --> 00:17:40,036
Yeah, right. Friends with a half turtle

385
00:17:40,071 --> 00:17:41,871
when there's full turtles
to be friends with?

386
00:17:41,907 --> 00:17:45,458
Steve, we haven't been friends
in any of these futures.

387
00:17:45,493 --> 00:17:47,911
You're right.

388
00:17:47,913 --> 00:17:49,545
That's it!

389
00:17:50,072 --> 00:17:52,539
It's our friendship that
makes us so successful.

390
00:17:52,574 --> 00:17:55,292
What we've got to do is
guarantee that we'll be friends

391
00:17:55,327 --> 00:17:57,994
- no matter what the future holds.
- How?

392
00:17:58,046 --> 00:18:00,380
We gotta be outcasts again, both of us.

393
00:18:00,416 --> 00:18:03,216
Unincluded from even the unincludeds.

394
00:18:03,252 --> 00:18:04,918
Sorry, ripped future me.

395
00:18:04,970 --> 00:18:06,887
Even though you're super awesome,

396
00:18:06,922 --> 00:18:09,222
I gotta do this for my best friend.

397
00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:14,284
I guess I'm saying goodbye to these.

398
00:18:14,930 --> 00:18:16,396
No matter what your future,

399
00:18:16,432 --> 00:18:18,849
you can still commit yourself
to regular exercise...

400
00:18:18,901 --> 00:18:20,183
I said goodbye.

401
00:18:20,235 --> 00:18:21,818
I'm scared.

402
00:18:21,854 --> 00:18:23,153
Don't be scared of them.

403
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,086
Be scared of them.

404
00:18:26,358 --> 00:18:28,325
Let's do this.

405
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:30,026
# Jitterbug #

406
00:18:32,030 --> 00:18:33,997
# Jitterbug #

407
00:18:34,032 --> 00:18:35,582
# Jitterbug #

408
00:18:35,617 --> 00:18:38,084
Guys, you've been having a good night.

409
00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:40,454
Not sure this is a smart move
for you, bros.

410
00:18:40,456 --> 00:18:43,206
# You put the boom boom into my heart #

411
00:18:43,258 --> 00:18:45,459
# You send my soul sky high
when your lovin' starts #

412
00:18:45,461 --> 00:18:47,177
It's working! Let's take it home.

413
00:18:47,212 --> 00:18:49,012
- # Jitterbug into my brain #
- #  yeah, yeah #

414
00:18:49,047 --> 00:18:52,215
# goes a bang-bang-bang
till my feet do the same #

415
00:18:52,267 --> 00:18:55,135
# But something's bugging me,
something ain't right #

416
00:18:55,187 --> 00:18:58,104
# My best friend told me
what you did last night #

417
00:18:58,140 --> 00:18:59,856
This is horrible.

418
00:18:59,892 --> 00:19:02,142
Hold on. This has potential.

419
00:19:02,144 --> 00:19:04,861
# But I should've been
with you instead #

420
00:19:04,897 --> 00:19:07,364
# Wake me up before you go-go #

421
00:19:07,399 --> 00:19:10,233
# Don't leave me hanging on
like a yo-yo #

422
00:19:10,285 --> 00:19:13,036
# Wake me up before you go-go #

423
00:19:13,071 --> 00:19:15,121
Yeah, okay. Yeah.

424
00:19:15,157 --> 00:19:16,790
Yeah, it's awesome!

425
00:19:16,825 --> 00:19:18,792
Sorry I doubted you, bros!

426
00:19:18,827 --> 00:19:20,494
Oh, no.

427
00:19:20,496 --> 00:19:22,212
# ... on going solo #

428
00:19:22,247 --> 00:19:24,881
Hey, who wants to Eiffel
Tower this turtle with me?

429
00:19:24,917 --> 00:19:26,173
What do we do?

430
00:19:26,681 --> 00:19:28,585
We gotta take it to the next level.

431
00:19:28,587 --> 00:19:30,220
Look here.

432
00:19:30,222 --> 00:19:34,341
1... 2... 3...

433
00:19:34,343 --> 00:19:35,008
# Hey #

434
00:19:35,344 --> 00:19:36,676
# where'd you get that body from #

435
00:19:36,678 --> 00:19:38,645
# Where'd you get that body from #

436
00:19:40,148 --> 00:19:42,015
# I got it from my daddy #

437
00:19:42,017 --> 00:19:43,683
# I got it from my daddy #

438
00:19:43,685 --> 00:19:44,818
# I got, got it #

439
00:19:44,820 --> 00:19:47,320
# hey, where'd you get that body from #

440
00:19:47,322 --> 00:19:49,189
# I got it from my daddy #

441
00:19:49,191 --> 00:19:50,991
# I got it from my daddy #

442
00:19:50,993 --> 00:19:54,472
- # I got, got it #
- # hey, where'd you get that body from #

443
00:19:54,746 --> 00:19:57,581
# I got it from my da-da-da-da-da #

444
00:19:57,583 --> 00:19:59,366
# Da-da-da-da #

445
00:19:59,368 --> 00:20:01,918
# da-da-da-da-da daddy #

446
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,921
# I got it from my da-da-da-da-da #

447
00:20:04,923 --> 00:20:06,039
# Da-da-da-da-da this is weird. #

448
00:20:06,041 --> 00:20:07,986
I'm going home to spend the rest
of high school

449
00:20:07,988 --> 00:20:09,459
with my father.

450
00:20:11,263 --> 00:20:13,179
... Started out really
good, but it sucks now.

451
00:20:14,766 --> 00:20:15,966
# Saying, it's gonna be all right #

452
00:20:16,018 --> 00:20:18,552
# 'Cause the players gonna play,
play, play, play, play #

453
00:20:20,222 --> 00:20:22,188
Start the car!

454
00:20:22,224 --> 00:20:23,890
Drive, drive!

455
00:20:23,942 --> 00:20:26,459
- Roger, what happened in there?
- We did it!

456
00:20:26,511 --> 00:20:28,895
Same as him? Same as him, my ass!

457
00:20:28,947 --> 00:20:30,280
That's a bitch move!

458
00:20:30,315 --> 00:20:32,148
You knew exactly the
game we were playing!

459
00:20:42,995 --> 00:20:45,128
Thank god we're back.

460
00:20:45,163 --> 00:20:47,297
And everything's the same.

461
00:20:50,218 --> 00:20:52,218
Did one of you guys just break a beaker?

462
00:20:52,254 --> 00:20:54,087
Why? Does it change the future?

463
00:20:54,089 --> 00:20:56,006
No, but be careful!

464
00:20:59,177 --> 00:21:01,761
Stop yelling at the kids!