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And now, Dickie Dobbins,
2
00:00:03,145 --> 00:00:04,895
with the Channel 3 doppler 12,000
3
00:00:04,930 --> 00:00:07,347
accu-climate weather-plus forecast.
4
00:00:07,399 --> 00:00:09,566
We got more record heat movin' in.
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00:00:09,601 --> 00:00:11,885
My guess is it's from Eurasia,
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or even, possibly,
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00:00:13,422 --> 00:00:16,289
the dark continent.
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That's where Miss Maisie comes from.
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She raised me.
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Jesus, Dickie.
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It's... it's important to remember
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00:00:23,666 --> 00:00:25,432
old Dickie comes from a different era.
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Right, Terry?
14
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Oh, that's right.
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Sometimes I forget
that he's gone.
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As the week-long beat wave continues...
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beat wave? What's a beat wave?
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As the heatwave... sorry... continues...
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I just hate seeing Greg like this.
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Guy's been a mess ever since Terry
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dumped him and left
town to follow 311 on tour.
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You know what?
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Greg needs a new man
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and I'm gonna help him find one.
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Why?
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Because that's what you do for friends.
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At least, that's what I do for friends.
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In high school, my
nickname was Superfriend.
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Actually, it was Supermouth.
30
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Actually, it was Suckmachine.
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They called me Stan the Man.
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There was a girl in my class named Stan.
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# Good morning, U.S.A. #
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# I got a feelin' that it's
gonna be a wonderful day #
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# The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face #
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# And he's shinin' a
salute to the American race #
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00:01:30,766 --> 00:01:34,101
# Oh, boy, it's swell to say #
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# good morning, U.S.A. #
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Aah!
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# Good morning, U.S.A. #
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Just a little more pepper.
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00:01:47,282 --> 00:01:48,698
Greg's coming up the driveway!
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Aah! Aaaaaaah!
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Now, remember.
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00:01:52,621 --> 00:01:54,287
We're pumping him for information
46
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about his perfect guy,
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00:01:56,125 --> 00:01:58,191
so we can find
someone to set him up with.
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It's actually the perfect temperature.
49
00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:02,395
- Can someone toss me a tecate?
- I'll tell you
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00:02:02,431 --> 00:02:04,631
what my perfect man would
be, if I was gay.
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He'd have smooth, soft skin,
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long, shiny hair,
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a narrow waist and wide hips,
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forming the shape of an hourglass.
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Pouty lips, big doe eyes.
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A musical, high-pitched voice.
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Large, supple, breast-like
pectoral muscles.
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And huge balls.
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Something you can really grab onto.
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Stan!
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00:02:24,570 --> 00:02:26,586
Oh, we're at dinner now.
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Thank you so much for having me.
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It's nice to get out of the house.
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Our pleasure.
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00:02:31,126 --> 00:02:33,593
Now, what would you like for dessert,
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a bear claw or a twink-ie?
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Or maybe asian dessert?
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We haven't even eaten dinner yet.
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Okay, then, let's start with salad.
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Would you like your dressing on the top
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of your salad, or on the bottom?
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How would you put it on the bottom?
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Okay, what are you two up to?
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All right. The truth is,
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we were trying to figure out your type,
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so we could set you up.
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You just seem so
down, ever since Terry left.
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00:03:00,255 --> 00:03:02,756
Oh. That's sweet of you.
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I admit, I do miss
Terry, as a life partner,
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00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,410
but, to be honest, I
miss him more, right now,
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as a work partner.
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I'm... I'm sorry. That... that probably
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didn't exactly warrant a spit-take.
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Kind of jumped the gun there. Go on.
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What makes a reporter,
journalistic integrity?
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Ha! It's the banter!
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00:03:18,540 --> 00:03:20,807
But you can't just plug
anybody into that other chair.
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00:03:20,843 --> 00:03:23,543
You need chemistry and
chemistry is hard.
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00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:25,078
Tell me about it.
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I burned down my
school in chemistry class.
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My school experience was
pretty flaming, too,
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if you know what I mean.
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I bet you were quite the firestarter.
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00:03:33,622 --> 00:03:34,788
Just call me young Drew Barrymore.
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00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:36,690
You're not the only one who liked
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00:03:36,725 --> 00:03:38,525
"riding in cars with boys."
97
00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:39,593
"Charlie's Angels"!
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00:03:39,628 --> 00:03:40,827
"Charlie's angels 2"!
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"Home fries"!
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Francine,
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00:03:43,315 --> 00:03:44,731
do you realize what we're doing?
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00:03:44,783 --> 00:03:46,733
We're bantering. Crazy idea.
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00:03:46,785 --> 00:03:48,869
Would you come fill
in in Terry's old seat?
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Just until we find a
permanent replacement.
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I don't know, Greg.
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I'm not really up on current events.
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I get most of my news off Snapple caps.
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Please, Francine.
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To help a friend.
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00:03:59,581 --> 00:04:03,483
Sounds like a job for Suckmachine.
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00:04:03,518 --> 00:04:05,252
How'd you know my high school nickname?
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00:04:10,955 --> 00:04:13,039
Hey, check out what we
found in the basement.
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00:04:13,041 --> 00:04:14,507
You walk in, without knocking,
114
00:04:14,542 --> 00:04:15,758
like a bunch of Duprees?
115
00:04:15,793 --> 00:04:17,460
It's my old dream phone game.
116
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It's so dumb. You try to figure out
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which cute boy has a crush on you.
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We thought it'd be
fun to play as a goof.
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Doesn't sound fun. Sounds lame.
120
00:04:25,486 --> 00:04:26,652
But I guess I'll do it,
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'cause I got nothing else to do.
122
00:04:28,139 --> 00:04:30,106
But it sounds
boring. I'm gonna be bored.
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00:04:30,141 --> 00:04:32,141
I was right. This is boring.
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I'm bored. I think
I'm just about ready to...
125
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Who is that?!
126
00:04:36,614 --> 00:04:37,897
Dylan.
127
00:04:37,932 --> 00:04:39,732
Hello?
128
00:04:39,734 --> 00:04:41,650
Your crush loves pizza.
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00:04:41,702 --> 00:04:43,202
That could be Dylan.
130
00:04:43,237 --> 00:04:44,653
We like all the same things.
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00:04:44,705 --> 00:04:46,872
Dylan likes the mall. I like the mall.
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Oh, my god. Is he the one?
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# I once wished a wish #
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# One day I would meet ya #
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# My two scoops of kisses #
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# With a heart shaped like pizza #
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00:05:00,004 --> 00:05:03,055
# What angel or genie #
138
00:05:03,091 --> 00:05:04,790
# Led me here to you? #
139
00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:08,010
# My telephone Romeo #
140
00:05:08,062 --> 00:05:12,431
# My dream come true #
141
00:05:12,483 --> 00:05:15,768
# My dream come true #
142
00:05:18,739 --> 00:05:23,809
# My dream come true #
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I'd sing you the second verse,
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but it gets pretty explicit.
145
00:05:30,585 --> 00:05:34,553
And remember, we are the
news of Langley Falls.
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Without us, people making
dinner won't know who's been murdered!
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00:05:39,827 --> 00:05:41,260
Good evening. I'm Greg Corbin.
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00:05:41,295 --> 00:05:43,229
And I'm Francine Smith.
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00:05:43,264 --> 00:05:44,930
Our top story tonight...
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00:05:44,966 --> 00:05:47,633
17 alligators were set loose today
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00:05:47,668 --> 00:05:50,970
when an oak tree fell on a
fence at the Langley Falls gator farm.
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Dickie, I bet you were around
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when that oak tree was planted.
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Huh?
155
00:05:54,809 --> 00:05:56,108
Planted?
156
00:05:56,144 --> 00:05:58,177
Dickie was around when the
oak tree was invented.
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Looks like those gators
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aren't the only ones who bite.
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Chomp, chomp.
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Her banter is beautiful.
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# She's a revelatio-o-o-
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-n! #
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Oh, she's good.
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Real good.
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Too good.
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This will end poorly.
166
00:06:18,366 --> 00:06:20,166
Raven!
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She's so raven.
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Real raven.
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Too raven.
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This will end
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poorly.
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Thank you.
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This is the first and last step
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00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:41,203
to opening my dry cleaning business.
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So, we eat here for free?
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I never realized being the husband
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00:06:46,243 --> 00:06:48,577
of a local news celeb would be so sweet!
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Ah, the perks are nice, but remember:
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I'm doing all this to help Greg.
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Complimentary order of
shrimp enchiladas. Mwah!
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00:06:56,670 --> 00:06:59,337
The veins in the
shrimp are... how you say?
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00:06:59,373 --> 00:07:01,907
Bursting with turds tonight.
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00:07:01,942 --> 00:07:04,476
That's exactly how you say it, Miguel.
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00:07:07,981 --> 00:07:09,948
One more call, and I'll zero in
185
00:07:09,983 --> 00:07:12,451
on the identity of
the landline strangler.
186
00:07:12,486 --> 00:07:13,719
I've crafted my own narrative
187
00:07:13,754 --> 00:07:15,454
to enhance my enjoyment of the game.
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00:07:15,489 --> 00:07:17,355
Now, talk to me, you sicko!
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00:07:17,357 --> 00:07:18,940
Who are you talking to? Is it Dylan?
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00:07:20,861 --> 00:07:21,993
Keep your paws off him, you slut!
191
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:24,996
Your crush hates the mall.
192
00:07:25,032 --> 00:07:26,665
Hates the mall? It's not Dylan.
193
00:07:26,700 --> 00:07:28,283
We're resetting.
194
00:07:28,335 --> 00:07:30,335
Roger, you can't just
keep resetting the game
195
00:07:30,370 --> 00:07:32,003
every time, until you get Dylan.
196
00:07:32,039 --> 00:07:34,539
I don't see why you're so
hung up on Dylan, anyway.
197
00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:37,375
Tyler is clearly the
cutest of the dream boys.
198
00:07:37,411 --> 00:07:39,377
Hell, I'd even take Wayne over Dylan.
199
00:07:39,413 --> 00:07:41,012
You have six seconds
200
00:07:41,048 --> 00:07:42,431
to suck those filthy words back
201
00:07:42,466 --> 00:07:43,715
inside your rotten little mouth.
202
00:07:43,717 --> 00:07:44,966
Damn it, Roger.
203
00:07:45,018 --> 00:07:46,768
This isn't even a real person, okay?
204
00:07:46,804 --> 00:07:49,971
This is just some model who
posed for a picture in 1994.
205
00:07:50,023 --> 00:07:51,656
It's... it's insane to have a crush
206
00:07:51,692 --> 00:07:53,692
on a fake person on a fake phone.
207
00:07:53,727 --> 00:07:55,694
You're right.
208
00:07:55,729 --> 00:07:56,962
The sane thing to do is
209
00:07:56,997 --> 00:07:58,997
track down the model
who posed for the card
210
00:07:59,032 --> 00:08:00,449
and go on a road trip to meet him.
211
00:08:00,484 --> 00:08:01,900
Exactly.
212
00:08:01,952 --> 00:08:04,903
# I'm so excited #
213
00:08:04,955 --> 00:08:07,372
# And I just can't hide it #
214
00:08:07,407 --> 00:08:08,907
# No, no, no #
215
00:08:08,959 --> 00:08:10,408
# I'm about to lose control #
216
00:08:10,461 --> 00:08:12,461
# And I think I like it #
217
00:08:13,747 --> 00:08:15,664
I know I like you, Dylan.
218
00:08:21,722 --> 00:08:22,971
Of course, that was
back when it was okay
219
00:08:23,006 --> 00:08:25,006
to bring a crossbow on a bus.
220
00:08:25,058 --> 00:08:28,894
This just in... Channel
3's own Dickie Dobbins has...
221
00:08:28,929 --> 00:08:30,562
Died?
222
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:31,863
Of a stroke.
223
00:08:31,899 --> 00:08:34,065
I didn't know you could die from that.
224
00:08:34,101 --> 00:08:36,001
I thought it just made you talk funny.
225
00:08:36,036 --> 00:08:38,436
Ah, I had a stroke, see?
226
00:08:38,472 --> 00:08:40,906
We always poke fun at Dickie, sure, but,
227
00:08:40,941 --> 00:08:42,340
I never thought we'd...
228
00:08:46,013 --> 00:08:47,345
Lose him.
229
00:08:48,682 --> 00:08:49,781
Greg?
230
00:08:55,522 --> 00:08:57,088
Ladies and gentlemen,
231
00:08:57,124 --> 00:09:00,659
heaven just got one
hell of a weather angel.
232
00:09:00,694 --> 00:09:03,428
Or, if the
allegations that followed Dickie
233
00:09:03,463 --> 00:09:06,331
his entire life turn
out to have been true,
234
00:09:06,366 --> 00:09:10,335
hell just got one
angel of a weather demon.
235
00:09:10,370 --> 00:09:13,605
And... We're... Out.
236
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,440
Thank you, Francine. That...
237
00:09:15,475 --> 00:09:16,708
that was wonderful.
238
00:09:16,743 --> 00:09:18,076
You just got in the zone.
239
00:09:18,111 --> 00:09:19,711
It was like there was no
one else at the desk.
240
00:09:19,746 --> 00:09:21,012
Oh!
241
00:09:21,048 --> 00:09:22,714
Oh, that's ridiculous.
242
00:09:22,749 --> 00:09:26,017
Who ever heard of one
person anchoring the news?
243
00:09:29,122 --> 00:09:30,655
But do ya think?
244
00:09:34,494 --> 00:09:36,795
So I had the
sassiest waiter the other day.
245
00:09:36,830 --> 00:09:39,831
Oh, I'll tell you how I
feel about sassy waiters.
246
00:09:39,867 --> 00:09:41,883
"Homey don't play around wit' dat."
247
00:09:41,919 --> 00:09:43,969
Remember that, the black clown?
248
00:09:44,004 --> 00:09:45,604
Anyway.
249
00:09:49,977 --> 00:09:52,644
If I was that hang-glide instructor,
250
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,930
I'd have just cut that big boy loose.
251
00:09:54,982 --> 00:09:56,565
- Well, I...
- Oh, we're gonna get calls
252
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:57,933
- on that one, aren't we?
- I-I once...
253
00:09:57,985 --> 00:10:00,518
Oh, behave, Francine.
254
00:10:18,171 --> 00:10:20,589
Man, Francine really ain't letting you
255
00:10:20,624 --> 00:10:22,457
get a word in edgewise, is she?
256
00:10:22,509 --> 00:10:24,709
Oh, she's just doing her
part to be helpful.
257
00:10:24,761 --> 00:10:26,378
And you know what they say...
258
00:10:26,430 --> 00:10:27,679
"there's no I in team."
259
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:29,514
No! I don't know that,
260
00:10:29,549 --> 00:10:30,789
'cause I never learned to read!
261
00:10:34,221 --> 00:10:35,620
Aah-aah!
262
00:10:35,656 --> 00:10:36,988
Why do we have this room?!
263
00:10:39,693 --> 00:10:41,059
So they've got a killer new
264
00:10:41,111 --> 00:10:43,645
verde shrimp chimichanga down at Larry's.
265
00:10:43,697 --> 00:10:45,063
I was thinking maybe you could work in
266
00:10:45,065 --> 00:10:46,481
a plug on the show today.
267
00:10:46,533 --> 00:10:47,732
I'm not gonna compromise the news
268
00:10:47,784 --> 00:10:49,651
to make you a hero at Loco Larry's.
269
00:10:49,703 --> 00:10:51,569
This isn't about you.
270
00:10:51,571 --> 00:10:52,787
And it's not about me.
271
00:10:52,823 --> 00:10:54,205
It's about Greg.
272
00:10:54,241 --> 00:10:56,708
Now, I really need to
do my vocal warmups.
273
00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:59,044
# Me me me me me #
274
00:10:59,079 --> 00:11:00,745
# Not Greg, not Greg, not Greg #
275
00:11:00,797 --> 00:11:04,749
# All that is his will be mine #
276
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,501
What's going on?
277
00:11:06,553 --> 00:11:07,836
We've finally got a new weather guy
278
00:11:07,888 --> 00:11:10,488
to replace Dickie... Memphis Stormfront.
279
00:11:10,524 --> 00:11:12,173
From Channel 6 in Raleigh-Durham.
280
00:11:12,225 --> 00:11:14,092
They say he gives great banter.
281
00:11:14,144 --> 00:11:16,094
And that
he's got his eye on the anchor desk.
282
00:11:16,146 --> 00:11:17,979
He might be just the guy to be Greg's
283
00:11:18,015 --> 00:11:19,464
permanent co-anchor, fool!
284
00:11:19,499 --> 00:11:20,799
Why are you doing that?
285
00:11:20,834 --> 00:11:25,153
I love gossi-i-i-p!
286
00:11:31,828 --> 00:11:34,195
We have a new member
of the Channel 3 Team
287
00:11:34,247 --> 00:11:35,697
and we're about to find out
288
00:11:35,749 --> 00:11:38,166
"weather" he's any good at his job.
289
00:11:38,201 --> 00:11:40,118
A job, by the way,
290
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:42,787
that can be done
better by a free phone app.
291
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:44,089
Memphis.
292
00:11:44,124 --> 00:11:47,225
"Appy" to prove you
wrong, there, Francine.
293
00:11:47,260 --> 00:11:51,596
I'd also happily help you find
a phone made after 1998.
294
00:11:51,631 --> 00:11:53,031
Hey, no fair! That's just a backup
295
00:11:53,066 --> 00:11:54,733
until her beeper gets out of the shop.
296
00:11:54,768 --> 00:11:56,568
Ooh! Burn!
297
00:11:56,603 --> 00:11:58,737
Um, uh...
298
00:11:58,772 --> 00:11:59,804
I...
299
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,639
Ch-chimichanga.
300
00:12:01,675 --> 00:12:03,274
Turning to the five-day forecast.
301
00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:05,610
I haven't felt this kind of
on-air chemistry since Terry.
302
00:12:05,645 --> 00:12:07,612
I think he's the one. Isn't this great?
303
00:12:07,647 --> 00:12:09,230
You'll be able to go back to your
304
00:12:09,282 --> 00:12:11,602
whatever you do with your days.
305
00:12:13,653 --> 00:12:14,819
My lokey!
306
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:17,038
I want that weather punk gone!
307
00:12:17,074 --> 00:12:21,042
I just heard you got Memphis fired?
308
00:12:21,078 --> 00:12:23,294
He was dead weight, ratings poison.
309
00:12:23,330 --> 00:12:25,130
A real Ray Donovan.
310
00:12:25,165 --> 00:12:26,798
I was looking out for ya.
311
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:29,167
Look, you've been
such a good friend to me,
312
00:12:29,169 --> 00:12:31,553
so, speaking as your good friend,
313
00:12:31,588 --> 00:12:33,204
I think your love of the limelight
314
00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:34,806
is clouding your judgment.
315
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,775
Oh. Wow!
316
00:12:36,810 --> 00:12:39,044
Thank you for helping me realize
317
00:12:39,079 --> 00:12:41,279
What an ingrate you are.
318
00:12:41,314 --> 00:12:42,881
Francine, you're hurting me!
319
00:12:42,916 --> 00:12:44,265
I get the viewers.
320
00:12:44,317 --> 00:12:46,267
I make the news fun.
321
00:12:46,319 --> 00:12:48,770
And I do it all to help you!
322
00:12:48,822 --> 00:12:49,938
Well, you're gonna have a hard time
323
00:12:49,990 --> 00:12:52,524
helping me, because me quits!
324
00:12:53,660 --> 00:12:54,893
Wait, wait!
325
00:12:54,928 --> 00:12:56,261
Greg, come back!
326
00:12:56,296 --> 00:12:58,730
I didn't mean what I said.
327
00:12:58,765 --> 00:13:01,032
I've never seen "Ray Donovan."
328
00:13:01,068 --> 00:13:02,867
It could be a good show.
329
00:13:02,903 --> 00:13:05,336
I don't know. We don't get showtime.
330
00:13:05,372 --> 00:13:06,971
Everything else I said stands.
331
00:13:14,478 --> 00:13:17,246
Stupid, ungrateful Greg.
332
00:13:17,281 --> 00:13:20,115
I guess some friends
just don't want to be helped.
333
00:13:40,171 --> 00:13:42,037
Oh, my god!
334
00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:43,372
I was so busy,
335
00:13:43,407 --> 00:13:45,240
telling myself I was helping Greg,
336
00:13:45,276 --> 00:13:47,543
I couldn't see how
much I was hurting him.
337
00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:49,995
Oh, we need to make this right.
338
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:52,698
Are you okay, losing your
Loco Larry's perks?
339
00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:54,683
Hey, helping Greg is more important
340
00:13:54,718 --> 00:13:56,502
than eating 16 burritos a day,
341
00:13:56,537 --> 00:13:57,669
every day of the week.
342
00:13:57,705 --> 00:13:59,037
Also, my...
343
00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:00,255
my colon came out.
344
00:14:00,291 --> 00:14:01,290
What?
345
00:14:01,342 --> 00:14:02,624
M-my colon came out.
346
00:14:02,626 --> 00:14:04,626
I-I looked it up
online and it is reversible.
347
00:14:04,628 --> 00:14:06,595
Greg and Memphis are so clearly
348
00:14:06,630 --> 00:14:08,347
right for each other.
349
00:14:08,382 --> 00:14:11,049
We need to get 'em back together.
350
00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:12,551
And back on the air.
351
00:14:12,603 --> 00:14:14,186
Easier said than done.
352
00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:15,554
Mm-mm-mm.
353
00:14:15,606 --> 00:14:17,639
Greg's done with TV.
Runs a cake shop now.
354
00:14:17,641 --> 00:14:20,609
Another interesting
tidbit: Greg might not be
355
00:14:20,644 --> 00:14:23,645
the macho ladykiller we all think he is.
356
00:14:28,152 --> 00:14:29,651
Greg, please.
357
00:14:29,653 --> 00:14:32,654
You're the one who
belongs behind that desk, not me.
358
00:14:32,656 --> 00:14:34,656
I'm sorry. I'm not going back.
359
00:14:34,658 --> 00:14:36,625
Even if you did get Memphis back, too.
360
00:14:36,660 --> 00:14:38,327
And good luck with that.
361
00:14:38,329 --> 00:14:39,661
He's a stormchaser now.
362
00:14:39,663 --> 00:14:41,330
Said at least you can trust a tornado
363
00:14:41,332 --> 00:14:43,165
not to stab you in the back.
364
00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:45,167
Also, you know Ashley in HR?
365
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:47,336
Got an abortion.
366
00:14:47,338 --> 00:14:49,805
What do we need a
weatherman for, anyway?
367
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,473
You said it yourself.
368
00:14:51,508 --> 00:14:52,674
Unless, of course, there
was some sort of
369
00:14:52,676 --> 00:14:55,177
cataclysmic superstorm to cover.
370
00:14:55,179 --> 00:14:56,728
But, barring that, I would get rid
371
00:14:56,764 --> 00:14:58,263
of the snake room
372
00:14:58,315 --> 00:15:00,015
before I brought back Greg and Memphis.
373
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,017
Ohh!
374
00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:06,188
I just know, deep down,
375
00:15:06,190 --> 00:15:08,190
Greg wants to come back to the news.
376
00:15:08,242 --> 00:15:10,659
If I could only get him and Memphis back
377
00:15:10,694 --> 00:15:13,328
on the air together for one broadcast.
378
00:15:13,364 --> 00:15:14,663
But we'd need to be able
379
00:15:14,698 --> 00:15:16,615
to control the weather, to do that.
380
00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:19,585
Easy as pie.
381
00:15:19,620 --> 00:15:21,620
- Stan, that's a cake.
- Oh, what would you say?
382
00:15:21,672 --> 00:15:22,838
"Piece of cake."
383
00:15:22,873 --> 00:15:24,206
Oh, yeah, it's really easy
384
00:15:24,258 --> 00:15:25,538
to come up with clever word play
385
00:15:25,542 --> 00:15:26,758
when you're not holding in your butthole
386
00:15:26,794 --> 00:15:28,377
with a piece of duct tape.
387
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:32,631
Top-secret CIA weather-
control division. Dick speaking.
388
00:15:32,683 --> 00:15:34,299
I mean, pizza store!
389
00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:35,717
Oh, it's you, Stan.
390
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,269
What kind of favor?
391
00:16:03,497 --> 00:16:04,746
Can I help you?
392
00:16:04,748 --> 00:16:06,798
You've aged beautifully.
393
00:16:06,834 --> 00:16:08,166
- What?
- A drink? Sure!
394
00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:09,501
I'll take a sweet tea, no ice.
395
00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:11,253
You'll have one, too. Put this in yours.
396
00:16:11,255 --> 00:16:13,639
Come on in. Let's get
you out of those wet clothes.
397
00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:21,263
Hello? I received an order
398
00:16:21,315 --> 00:16:22,848
to deliver a cake to this lamppost.
399
00:16:24,518 --> 00:16:26,318
I got a call saying my birth mother
400
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:28,186
would meet me at this lamppost.
401
00:16:28,238 --> 00:16:29,321
Greg?
402
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:31,523
Memphis?
403
00:16:31,575 --> 00:16:34,743
Oh, my god, a category-6
subpolar tornado-cane,
404
00:16:34,778 --> 00:16:36,745
the rarest storm in all of weather!
405
00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:39,281
Don't tell us. Tell the viewers.
406
00:16:39,283 --> 00:16:41,500
Our breaking story right now.
407
00:16:41,535 --> 00:16:45,620
A weather event that I
couldn't even begin to explain.
408
00:16:45,622 --> 00:16:47,205
Oh!
409
00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:49,174
So we're going to go live to Greg Corbin
410
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:52,627
and Memphis Stormfront, in
the heart of the storm.
411
00:16:52,629 --> 00:16:54,629
Ohhh?!
412
00:16:54,682 --> 00:16:56,515
I told you, I'm
done with the news, Stan.
413
00:16:56,550 --> 00:16:57,883
I'm a cake man now!
414
00:16:57,935 --> 00:16:59,601
You're a what?
415
00:17:00,771 --> 00:17:02,354
Goddamn it, I'm a news man!
416
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:03,722
Greg Corbin, here,
417
00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:05,724
live in the midst of
the storm of the century,
418
00:17:05,776 --> 00:17:07,893
with our very own Memphis Stormfront.
419
00:17:07,945 --> 00:17:10,612
Greg, we are witnessing
a once-in-a-lifetime
420
00:17:10,647 --> 00:17:14,149
weather event
unleashing multiple funnel clouds.
421
00:17:17,621 --> 00:17:19,654
The gators are gettin' spooked!
422
00:17:19,656 --> 00:17:22,207
Get 'em into the barn, and quick!
423
00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:23,458
Yah!
424
00:17:23,494 --> 00:17:25,243
It's too late!
425
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:34,586
Aaaaaaah!
426
00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:36,338
In a stunning development,
427
00:17:36,390 --> 00:17:40,175
we are now in the midst of
a full-fledged gator storm.
428
00:17:41,395 --> 00:17:43,845
Whoo! Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
429
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,814
Aaaaaah!
430
00:17:45,849 --> 00:17:46,982
Ah! Ah.
431
00:17:47,017 --> 00:17:48,350
Aaaah!
432
00:17:49,737 --> 00:17:50,852
Aaah!
433
00:17:52,606 --> 00:17:54,222
Ah.
434
00:17:54,258 --> 00:17:55,490
Phew.
435
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:01,913
By the way, great to be back on the air
436
00:18:01,949 --> 00:18:03,248
with you, Memphis.
437
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:04,533
What have you been up to lately?
438
00:18:04,535 --> 00:18:06,835
Well, I finally caught "Step up. All in"
439
00:18:06,870 --> 00:18:09,538
- on cable this weekend.
- That mess?
440
00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:13,425
They should've called
it "Throw up. All over."
441
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,710
They should've called it off.
442
00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:21,550
Even in the belly of the
storm, they banter flawlessly.
443
00:18:21,552 --> 00:18:23,718
These are my stars!
444
00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:33,278
Ahh!
445
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:35,530
You know, you look familiar to me.
446
00:18:35,566 --> 00:18:38,400
I did do a bit of board-game modeling,
447
00:18:38,402 --> 00:18:39,818
back in my younger days.
448
00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:41,036
Oh, yeah, maybe that's it.
449
00:18:41,071 --> 00:18:42,311
I think I... I think I remember.
450
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:43,872
Was it, um...?
451
00:18:43,907 --> 00:18:45,373
Oh, god, it's on the tip of my...
452
00:18:45,409 --> 00:18:47,492
I want to say mystery phone?
453
00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:48,743
- Dream phone.
- Dream phone, dream phone.
454
00:18:48,745 --> 00:18:49,911
Right. Now I remember. It's been...
455
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:51,546
been such a long time.
456
00:18:51,582 --> 00:18:53,465
Is that the phone from the game
457
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,833
that you're holding right now?
458
00:18:54,885 --> 00:18:56,718
So it is.
459
00:18:56,753 --> 00:18:58,386
Say, you know, I got the day free.
460
00:18:58,422 --> 00:18:59,822
What do you say we head to the mall
461
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:01,923
and grab ourselves a slice of 'za?
462
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:06,428
Ugh! I try to stay
away from malls, and pizza.
463
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:07,929
I'm beginning to get
464
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:09,931
the distinct impression, Dylan,
465
00:19:09,933 --> 00:19:11,900
that you are a liar.
466
00:19:11,935 --> 00:19:14,519
Well, I wouldn't exactly call it lying,
467
00:19:14,571 --> 00:19:15,654
but, for starters,
468
00:19:15,689 --> 00:19:18,023
my name's not actually Dylan.
469
00:19:20,911 --> 00:19:24,613
So, um, what happened back there?
470
00:19:24,615 --> 00:19:26,364
We went to the mall and had pizza,
471
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:29,334
because that's what Dylan likes.
472
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:31,586
Why is there blood on the dream phone?
473
00:19:31,622 --> 00:19:33,505
He likes malls and pizza.
474
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:34,623
And me.
475
00:19:38,629 --> 00:19:40,512
Roger?
476
00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:41,963
Wh-what's in this jar?
477
00:19:41,965 --> 00:19:43,798
Dylan was being bad.
478
00:19:43,851 --> 00:19:46,017
And, now, we have the jar.
479
00:19:46,053 --> 00:19:48,720
# I'm so excited #
480
00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:52,107
# And I just can't hide it #
481
00:19:56,947 --> 00:20:00,115
Well, it's
official, I'm out at Channel 3
482
00:20:00,150 --> 00:20:03,585
and you two are back in, thanks to us.
483
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:04,753
What do you mean, thanks to you?
484
00:20:04,788 --> 00:20:06,388
We did all of this.
485
00:20:06,423 --> 00:20:07,822
Francine got you on the air
486
00:20:07,824 --> 00:20:10,625
and I abused my CIA
powers to make that superstorm.
487
00:20:10,661 --> 00:20:13,411
You may this storm?
488
00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:15,547
Lives were destroyed.
489
00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:18,567
But Greg's life was fixed.
490
00:20:18,602 --> 00:20:20,702
Now, you've got a new work partner
491
00:20:20,737 --> 00:20:23,471
and a new life partner.
492
00:20:23,507 --> 00:20:25,140
Now kiss, you two lovebirds.
493
00:20:25,175 --> 00:20:26,441
And put some mustard on it.
494
00:20:28,946 --> 00:20:30,579
Aren't you straight?
495
00:20:30,614 --> 00:20:32,881
Yes, but I'm terrified of these people.
496
00:20:32,916 --> 00:20:35,050
They can control the weather!
497
00:20:35,085 --> 00:20:37,152
Mmm.
498
00:20:37,187 --> 00:20:40,522
- Mwah.
- Mmm.
499
00:20:40,524 --> 00:20:42,524
You did it, baby.
500
00:20:42,576 --> 00:20:43,742
We did it.
501
00:20:43,777 --> 00:20:45,410
Because we're helpers.
502
00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:46,945
It's just in our nature.
503
00:20:46,997 --> 00:20:49,313
We help.