1
00:00:02,559 --> 00:00:04,460
[ Snoring ]
2
00:00:04,494 --> 00:00:06,495
♪
3
00:00:09,533 --> 00:00:11,767
[ Tires squeal ]
4
00:00:11,802 --> 00:00:14,437
You don't have to do this.
I'll tell you anything you want.
5
00:00:14,471 --> 00:00:16,839
You look great in that dress.
You don't look fat at all.
6
00:00:16,873 --> 00:00:18,307
You made your point, Francine!
7
00:00:18,342 --> 00:00:19,575
[ Laughter ]
8
00:00:19,610 --> 00:00:21,744
I hope you enjoyed
your kidnapping.
9
00:00:21,778 --> 00:00:25,314
That was just my fun way
to give you some exciting news.
10
00:00:25,349 --> 00:00:26,749
You've been elected
11
00:00:26,783 --> 00:00:30,419
to be in charge of this year's
C.I.A. calendar!
12
00:00:30,454 --> 00:00:32,221
Really?
I can't believe it.
13
00:00:32,256 --> 00:00:35,358
And to be clear, I pissed myself
out of happiness just now,
14
00:00:35,392 --> 00:00:36,859
not during
the kidnapping thing earlier
15
00:00:36,893 --> 00:00:38,227
that -- that wasn't scary.
16
00:00:38,262 --> 00:00:39,528
As you know, our calendar
17
00:00:39,563 --> 00:00:42,365
is the C.I.A.'s number-one
fundraiser.
18
00:00:42,399 --> 00:00:44,900
Selling calendars pays
for everything around here,
19
00:00:44,935 --> 00:00:47,169
including
printing the calendars.
20
00:00:47,204 --> 00:00:49,505
It's an enormous expense.
21
00:00:49,539 --> 00:00:51,741
Now be a dear
and help me with this.
22
00:00:51,775 --> 00:00:54,176
These are the steroids
officially endorsed
23
00:00:54,211 --> 00:00:57,313
by MTV's "Real World Road Rules
Challenge."
24
00:00:57,347 --> 00:00:58,781
As per usual,
25
00:00:58,815 --> 00:01:03,619
I will be absolutely ripped
for my July spread.
26
00:01:03,654 --> 00:01:05,187
[ Sloop! ]
27
00:01:05,222 --> 00:01:08,758
[ Screams ]
28
00:01:08,792 --> 00:01:10,426
This is the photo proof book.
29
00:01:10,460 --> 00:01:12,695
You'll store all your photos
and negatives in here.
30
00:01:12,729 --> 00:01:14,630
Guard this with your life.
31
00:01:14,665 --> 00:01:17,433
And also, it likes to wear this
tiny, little jacket on Sundays.
32
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- It does?
- Well,I like it to.
33
00:01:19,670 --> 00:01:20,936
Just give this your all, Stan.
34
00:01:20,971 --> 00:01:22,705
You don't want
to mess up the calendar,
35
00:01:22,739 --> 00:01:24,907
or you'll never live it down.
36
00:01:24,941 --> 00:01:27,410
What?
My calendar wasn't that bad.
37
00:01:27,444 --> 00:01:30,813
It was just 12 pictures of some
lady taken through her blinds.
38
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She had those big boobs!
39
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♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
40
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♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
41
00:01:43,293 --> 00:01:46,262
♪ the sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
42
00:01:46,296 --> 00:01:49,799
♪ and he's shinin' a salute
to the american race ♪
43
00:01:52,669 --> 00:01:55,738
♪ oh, boy, it's swell to say
44
00:01:55,772 --> 00:01:58,274
♪ good --
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
45
00:01:58,308 --> 00:02:06,308
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
46
00:02:07,175 --> 00:02:08,951
I just felt so aimless.
47
00:02:08,985 --> 00:02:11,287
I was in a rut, Francine.
You get that.
48
00:02:11,321 --> 00:02:13,456
I do.
You know, once, I was in --
49
00:02:13,490 --> 00:02:14,590
I was telling a story!
50
00:02:14,624 --> 00:02:18,427
Can I finish one story
one time?!
51
00:02:18,462 --> 00:02:19,895
Thank you!
52
00:02:19,930 --> 00:02:23,632
After a ton of soul searching,
I found my new passion --
53
00:02:23,667 --> 00:02:25,801
getting my degree
in Criminology.
54
00:02:25,836 --> 00:02:28,637
I'm so happy
you're going to college.
55
00:02:28,672 --> 00:02:30,339
Can I go to school today?
56
00:02:30,374 --> 00:02:32,641
You know, if you tried harder
in high school,
57
00:02:32,676 --> 00:02:34,810
maybe you could go to college
like Roger.
58
00:02:34,845 --> 00:02:36,946
I'm missing my psats right now!
59
00:02:36,980 --> 00:02:39,315
Steve, you need to get serious
about school.
60
00:02:39,349 --> 00:02:41,484
Me, I worked my ass off
for this.
61
00:02:41,518 --> 00:02:42,885
Good for you, Roger.
62
00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:46,055
The name is Jeremy Neiderhoff,
college freshman.
63
00:02:46,089 --> 00:02:47,757
Bro: Neiderhoff!
64
00:02:47,791 --> 00:02:49,358
It's really great
65
00:02:49,393 --> 00:02:52,294
when you find something
you're passionate about.
66
00:02:52,329 --> 00:02:55,030
I'm happy for you,
but I'm also a little jealous.
67
00:02:55,065 --> 00:02:57,032
You know,
I never went to college.
68
00:02:57,067 --> 00:02:59,969
And look at you now --
driving someone else to college.
69
00:03:00,003 --> 00:03:01,937
[ Whistles ]
Wow.
70
00:03:05,442 --> 00:03:07,610
[ Stately music playing ]
71
00:03:15,519 --> 00:03:16,886
[ Music stops, crow caws ]
72
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:19,855
[ Music continues ]
73
00:03:19,890 --> 00:03:22,658
[ Music stops ]
74
00:03:22,692 --> 00:03:25,628
[ Music continues ]
75
00:03:25,662 --> 00:03:27,296
[ Music stops ]
76
00:03:27,330 --> 00:03:30,466
[ Music continues ]
77
00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:32,835
I got a Discovery card!
78
00:03:32,869 --> 00:03:34,737
Whoo!
79
00:03:34,771 --> 00:03:36,705
Look at all these cool things
you can buy
80
00:03:36,740 --> 00:03:38,474
with your Discovery card points!
81
00:03:38,508 --> 00:03:39,909
Wow, look at this jacket!
82
00:03:39,943 --> 00:03:42,578
Francine, I quit college
to focus on my new passion --
83
00:03:42,612 --> 00:03:43,712
getting this jacket.
84
00:03:43,747 --> 00:03:45,714
Roger, it's really great
85
00:03:45,749 --> 00:03:48,684
when you find something
you're passionate about.
86
00:03:48,718 --> 00:03:50,386
I'm happy for you.
87
00:03:50,420 --> 00:03:52,988
But I'm also a little jealous.
I never owned a --
88
00:03:53,023 --> 00:03:55,624
You never owned a satin
credit-card jacket. I know.
89
00:03:55,659 --> 00:03:57,693
Have I told you
that story before?
90
00:03:57,727 --> 00:03:59,962
Uh, yeah.
Beep, beep. Let's go.
91
00:04:04,408 --> 00:04:06,376
Sir, thank you
for getting me an assistant.
92
00:04:06,410 --> 00:04:09,679
Don't thank me.
Have your assistant do it.
93
00:04:11,982 --> 00:04:14,017
Asher! I wanted the water
room-temperature
94
00:04:14,051 --> 00:04:16,886
but not this room.
I meant a slightly colder room.
95
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,755
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I-i'll get an ice cube.
96
00:04:18,789 --> 00:04:20,456
That's your generation,
isn't it?
97
00:04:20,491 --> 00:04:22,025
An ice cube will fix everything.
98
00:04:22,059 --> 00:04:24,027
Well, not this time.
You're fired.
99
00:04:24,061 --> 00:04:25,762
But before you go,
bring me an ice cube.
100
00:04:25,796 --> 00:04:29,599
That does sound nice.
101
00:04:29,633 --> 00:04:32,669
Sir, I'd like you to meet
the newest member of the C.I.A.,
102
00:04:32,703 --> 00:04:35,538
which makes him eligible
for the C.I.A.'s calendar --
103
00:04:35,572 --> 00:04:37,340
Agent Tyrese Gibson.
104
00:04:37,374 --> 00:04:38,675
Thank you for this opportunity.
105
00:04:38,709 --> 00:04:40,810
Now, I've been reviewing
some files,
106
00:04:40,844 --> 00:04:43,980
and I think I have a lead on
a terrorist attack on U.S. soil.
107
00:04:44,014 --> 00:04:47,717
Your eyes --
they are mesmerizing.
108
00:04:47,751 --> 00:04:49,385
Can I put a shirt on?
109
00:04:49,420 --> 00:04:51,754
I don't think you understand
why we brought you here.
110
00:04:56,393 --> 00:04:58,027
This is Dustin,
my new assistant.
111
00:04:58,062 --> 00:04:59,429
He's a flincher.
112
00:04:59,463 --> 00:05:01,698
- [ Grunts ]
- Two for flinching.
113
00:05:01,732 --> 00:05:03,533
- [ Sneezes ]
- Germs!
114
00:05:03,567 --> 00:05:06,569
How dare you not dive in front
of the proof book to protect it.
115
00:05:06,603 --> 00:05:08,705
It's like you don't believe
in this, or me.
116
00:05:08,739 --> 00:05:10,707
You've got bad energy, Dustin.
117
00:05:10,741 --> 00:05:12,942
All day, you've been
silently judging me.
118
00:05:12,976 --> 00:05:14,844
You're fired.
119
00:05:17,581 --> 00:05:20,516
Whoa. You think your dad
would hire me?
120
00:05:20,551 --> 00:05:22,485
'Cause I don't have
a lot going on
121
00:05:22,519 --> 00:05:26,889
since I lost my frisbee
in that scary bush.
122
00:05:26,924 --> 00:05:28,991
It'd be hell to work for my dad.
123
00:05:29,026 --> 00:05:31,761
He has never once said
I did a good job.
124
00:05:31,795 --> 00:05:33,396
When I was a kid,
125
00:05:33,430 --> 00:05:35,598
my dad would always take me
to the same beach.
126
00:05:35,632 --> 00:05:39,635
So for father's day, I drew him
a picture of our beach.
127
00:05:39,670 --> 00:05:41,003
My bedtime story that night
128
00:05:41,038 --> 00:05:45,441
was a 45-minute critique
of my drawing.
129
00:05:45,476 --> 00:05:46,809
Well, if it were me,
130
00:05:46,844 --> 00:05:48,945
I would have drawn it
on a single piece of paper.
131
00:05:48,979 --> 00:05:52,482
I did. He tore it up.
That's how critical he is.
132
00:05:52,516 --> 00:05:55,718
And that day, I vowed
that if he ever made anything,
133
00:05:55,753 --> 00:05:57,120
I'd ruin it.
134
00:05:57,154 --> 00:05:59,122
And I forgot about that vow
for a long time
135
00:05:59,156 --> 00:06:01,424
'cause, you know,
I had other stuff going on.
136
00:06:01,458 --> 00:06:04,093
But now it's back
with a vengeance.
137
00:06:04,128 --> 00:06:07,797
Oh! So you're gonna try
to ruin his calendar thing.
138
00:06:07,831 --> 00:06:09,565
[ Mockingly ] "Oh!"
139
00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,701
[ Normal voice ]
Yeah. I'll become his assistant,
140
00:06:11,735 --> 00:06:13,569
and I'll help him
make the calendar.
141
00:06:13,604 --> 00:06:15,872
[ Chuckling ] And then when
he's feeling all good about it,
142
00:06:15,906 --> 00:06:17,440
I'll destroy it!
143
00:06:17,474 --> 00:06:20,410
Babe, you're scaring me
more than the scary bush.
144
00:06:20,444 --> 00:06:23,112
[ Ominous music plays ]
145
00:06:28,819 --> 00:06:31,888
Bro: Neiderhoff!
146
00:06:31,922 --> 00:06:33,456
How was school today, Steve?
147
00:06:33,490 --> 00:06:34,924
You know I didn't go.
148
00:06:34,958 --> 00:06:36,959
I watched you and mom
drink two bottles of wine,
149
00:06:36,994 --> 00:06:39,028
and now we're here,
and mom's sleeping in the car.
150
00:06:39,062 --> 00:06:40,863
So, you want to go
watch your mommy sleep
151
00:06:40,898 --> 00:06:44,734
or help me break in
my Discovery card?
152
00:06:44,768 --> 00:06:46,969
I thought this was a stupid
choice when you said it,
153
00:06:47,004 --> 00:06:48,171
but I get it now.
154
00:06:48,205 --> 00:06:50,673
10 more minutes,
then we go shopping?
155
00:06:56,747 --> 00:06:58,414
Ooh, I'm sorry.
156
00:06:58,449 --> 00:07:00,216
We don't accept Discovery card.
157
00:07:00,250 --> 00:07:02,985
We do take Visa, Mastercard,
American Express,
158
00:07:03,020 --> 00:07:04,687
Diner's Club, Traveler's checks,
159
00:07:04,721 --> 00:07:07,590
even a gentleman's agreement
to come back and pay tomorrow,
160
00:07:07,624 --> 00:07:09,525
but no Discovery card.
161
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,194
What?!
Let's get out of here, Steve.
162
00:07:11,228 --> 00:07:14,730
This place smells like farts,
anyway -- or it's about to.
163
00:07:14,765 --> 00:07:16,532
[ Grunts ]
164
00:07:16,567 --> 00:07:19,769
Is there a store here that sells
paper towels and underwear?
165
00:07:22,139 --> 00:07:24,574
Discovery card at a tumi store?
166
00:07:24,608 --> 00:07:26,142
You have to be kidding me.
167
00:07:26,176 --> 00:07:28,077
This is tumi.
168
00:07:28,111 --> 00:07:30,112
Tu-mi.
169
00:07:30,147 --> 00:07:31,514
Sorry. Geez.
170
00:07:31,548 --> 00:07:36,686
Tuuumiiiii!
171
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:41,090
I guess Discovery card isn't
as widely accepted as I thought.
172
00:07:41,124 --> 00:07:42,925
Oh, you must be
the Discovery card people
173
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:44,961
I've been hearing about.
Right this way.
174
00:07:44,995 --> 00:07:47,029
I think I know
what you're looking for.
175
00:07:49,099 --> 00:07:51,634
Steve, are you seeing this door?
176
00:07:54,805 --> 00:07:56,606
Please, sir,
don't make this difficult.
177
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,041
I'm going. I'm going.
178
00:07:59,076 --> 00:08:01,777
Aah!
179
00:08:01,812 --> 00:08:04,680
I guess I'll never get
that Discovery card jacket.
180
00:08:04,715 --> 00:08:06,983
Man: Psst.
181
00:08:07,017 --> 00:08:09,218
I know a place
that takes Discovery card.
182
00:08:09,253 --> 00:08:10,653
[ Gasps ]
183
00:08:13,123 --> 00:08:15,825
Hayley, I don't know why
you wanted this job,
184
00:08:15,859 --> 00:08:18,227
but I hope you're motivated
enough to handle it.
185
00:08:21,665 --> 00:08:23,866
Oh, I'm plenty motivated.
186
00:08:23,901 --> 00:08:25,167
What was that?
187
00:08:25,202 --> 00:08:27,136
I thought I heard you say
something pointedly,
188
00:08:27,170 --> 00:08:29,071
like you were plotting
to take someone down,
189
00:08:29,106 --> 00:08:31,974
someone close to you,
someone completely oblivious.
190
00:08:32,009 --> 00:08:34,677
- Nope.
- Okey-dokey.
191
00:08:37,861 --> 00:08:40,464
Oh, my god.
This is quite a production.
192
00:08:40,584 --> 00:08:41,994
Don't pretend
like you didn't know
193
00:08:42,114 --> 00:08:44,163
the C.I.A. calendar
is a huge deal.
194
00:08:44,201 --> 00:08:46,335
I don't think anyone
outside the C.I.A. knows.
195
00:08:46,370 --> 00:08:48,137
You mean the muggles?
196
00:08:48,172 --> 00:08:50,239
We're all set up to shoot
"January" with Jackson.
197
00:08:50,274 --> 00:08:51,841
What?! No!
198
00:08:51,875 --> 00:08:55,878
Every year, Bullock goes
overboard with the steroids.
199
00:08:55,913 --> 00:08:58,181
We do july first and then
drop him off in the woods
200
00:08:58,215 --> 00:09:01,284
so he can work off
his aggression in isolation.
201
00:09:01,318 --> 00:09:02,552
[ Woman screams ]
202
00:09:02,586 --> 00:09:05,555
Bullock love body!
203
00:09:05,589 --> 00:09:09,458
Muscle powder!
204
00:09:09,493 --> 00:09:12,562
[ Slurping ]
205
00:09:12,596 --> 00:09:15,131
[ Grunting ]
206
00:09:15,165 --> 00:09:17,400
All right, people, we're only
gonna get one of these.
207
00:09:17,434 --> 00:09:18,868
Bullock doesn't like the flash.
208
00:09:18,902 --> 00:09:19,936
[ Grunts ]
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
209
00:09:19,970 --> 00:09:21,337
Lightning box!
210
00:09:21,371 --> 00:09:22,605
Aah!
211
00:09:22,639 --> 00:09:24,373
Heads up.
212
00:09:24,408 --> 00:09:25,508
I said heads up.
213
00:09:25,542 --> 00:09:27,276
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
214
00:09:27,311 --> 00:09:30,880
[ Screaming ]
215
00:09:30,914 --> 00:09:32,515
[ Panting ]
216
00:09:32,549 --> 00:09:34,183
Hayley, you saved my life.
217
00:09:34,218 --> 00:09:38,087
And ruined the perfect shot.
Way to go.
218
00:09:38,121 --> 00:09:39,589
Wha-- what are you doing?
219
00:09:39,623 --> 00:09:41,591
It's called a slow clap.
220
00:09:41,625 --> 00:09:43,492
Notice the speed
my hands are moving.
221
00:09:43,527 --> 00:09:46,662
That's how sarcastic I'm being.
222
00:09:46,697 --> 00:09:49,498
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
223
00:09:49,533 --> 00:09:51,234
Come on, Hayley.
Throw him a good one.
224
00:09:51,268 --> 00:09:54,003
- I'm hitting him in the chest.
- With the pointy part!
225
00:09:54,037 --> 00:09:56,239
Why don't we just photoshop
a ball into his hands?
226
00:09:56,273 --> 00:09:58,274
Only amateurs use photoshop.
227
00:09:58,308 --> 00:10:00,142
You don't know
what photoshop is, do you?
228
00:10:00,177 --> 00:10:01,611
I don't have to know
what something is
229
00:10:01,645 --> 00:10:05,581
to not like it.
You think I know what hummus is?
230
00:10:05,616 --> 00:10:07,316
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
Stan, listen.
231
00:10:07,351 --> 00:10:09,485
I've been tracking the
terrorists' cellphone chatter,
232
00:10:09,519 --> 00:10:11,220
and I think it's time
to go undercover.
233
00:10:11,255 --> 00:10:13,289
Sure, sure. Whatever.
Release the bull!
234
00:10:17,127 --> 00:10:18,327
Beautiful.
235
00:10:18,362 --> 00:10:20,263
Hayley, get this bull
out of here.
236
00:10:30,574 --> 00:10:31,941
Not so fast.
237
00:10:31,975 --> 00:10:33,476
You're a clown.
Make us laugh.
238
00:10:33,510 --> 00:10:35,411
Um...
239
00:10:36,647 --> 00:10:37,713
Aah!
240
00:10:37,748 --> 00:10:39,148
[ Laughs ]
241
00:10:39,182 --> 00:10:41,083
I di--
I didn't think she could do it.
242
00:10:44,521 --> 00:10:46,622
Uh, we've already been
to this mall.
243
00:10:46,657 --> 00:10:48,190
No one takes Discovery card.
244
00:10:48,225 --> 00:10:50,059
Oh, we're not going here.
245
00:10:50,093 --> 00:10:52,461
For us Discovery card people,
246
00:10:52,496 --> 00:10:55,698
this is our mall.
247
00:10:55,732 --> 00:10:57,533
Starting...
248
00:10:57,567 --> 00:10:59,068
right now, this is our mall.
249
00:10:59,102 --> 00:11:00,670
♪
250
00:11:00,704 --> 00:11:03,606
This mall has remained untouched
since the '80s.
251
00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:05,675
It's perfect.
How can we ever repay you?
252
00:11:05,709 --> 00:11:08,444
Actually, I host this singer-songwriter
night - Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
253
00:11:08,478 --> 00:11:10,379
- Uh-huh.
- At the Coffee Cabana on...
254
00:11:12,382 --> 00:11:14,583
And a little for Roge.
[ Sniffs ]
255
00:11:14,618 --> 00:11:16,619
[ Slurring ]
Let's get shopping!
256
00:11:16,753 --> 00:11:18,721
A shower thermometer?
257
00:11:18,755 --> 00:11:20,723
This will eliminate
all the guesswork.
258
00:11:20,757 --> 00:11:23,192
Look at me, Steve.
I'm like a jockey...
259
00:11:23,226 --> 00:11:25,394
who came four times!
260
00:11:25,429 --> 00:11:26,529
Whoa!
261
00:11:26,563 --> 00:11:28,197
I can't see it.
I can't se--
262
00:11:28,231 --> 00:11:29,565
Ohh!
263
00:11:29,599 --> 00:11:31,701
It's a fucking classic car.
264
00:11:31,735 --> 00:11:34,136
It's coming right out
of the fucking poster!
265
00:11:36,139 --> 00:11:38,307
These are compliments
of the gentlemen in the booth.
266
00:11:38,342 --> 00:11:40,443
- The California raisins!
- The California raisins!
267
00:11:40,477 --> 00:11:43,279
- We're cursed to live forever!
- We're cursed to live forever!
268
00:11:46,316 --> 00:11:48,284
[ Sighs ]
The calendar is done.
269
00:11:48,318 --> 00:11:49,785
Hard to believe
that this proof book
270
00:11:49,820 --> 00:11:52,288
holds my entire vision inside.
271
00:11:52,322 --> 00:11:55,725
This must be what it's like
to hold a baby you love.
272
00:11:55,759 --> 00:11:57,760
[ Snoring ]
273
00:12:03,433 --> 00:12:05,034
What are you doing
with my baby?!
274
00:12:05,068 --> 00:12:07,336
Um, I-I was just gonna
lock it up in the safe.
275
00:12:07,371 --> 00:12:10,072
Ah, good.
That's where babies go.
276
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:13,175
♪
277
00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:15,411
It's here!
Steve, it's here!
278
00:12:17,147 --> 00:12:18,748
As good as it looks
on the outside
279
00:12:18,782 --> 00:12:21,217
is how scratchy it feels
on the inside.
280
00:12:21,251 --> 00:12:24,286
You can tell
the stitching is fishing line.
281
00:12:24,321 --> 00:12:26,222
It's perfect.
282
00:12:26,256 --> 00:12:29,759
My Discovery card bill.
283
00:12:29,793 --> 00:12:31,727
[ Gasps ]
284
00:12:31,762 --> 00:12:34,263
Rag, take me away.
[ Inhales deeply ]
285
00:12:36,433 --> 00:12:37,666
Oh, shit, bro.
286
00:12:37,701 --> 00:12:40,102
The A.P.R. on this card
is terrible.
287
00:12:40,137 --> 00:12:41,604
What are you gonna do
about this bill?
288
00:12:41,638 --> 00:12:44,306
You'll -- you'll never be able
to pay it back.
289
00:12:44,341 --> 00:12:46,175
I'm gonna ask
for a moment of silence,
290
00:12:46,209 --> 00:12:48,511
because Jeremy Neiderhoff
is dead.
291
00:12:48,545 --> 00:12:49,845
[ Marker squeaks ]
292
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:53,482
[ Sighs ] Now I got to call
Mrs. Neiderhoff.
293
00:12:53,517 --> 00:12:55,117
[ Laughs ]
294
00:12:55,152 --> 00:12:56,852
Oh, there's someone
on the other line, Claire.
295
00:12:56,887 --> 00:12:58,654
It's probably Jeremy.
[ Cellphone beeps ]
296
00:12:58,688 --> 00:12:59,822
Hello?
297
00:12:59,856 --> 00:13:01,724
Nooooo!
298
00:13:01,758 --> 00:13:04,126
Jeff, I got his book!
299
00:13:04,161 --> 00:13:05,661
Here.
Now I'm gonna go get my dad,
300
00:13:05,695 --> 00:13:07,329
and the moment
we walk in the door,
301
00:13:07,364 --> 00:13:08,597
you set the book on fire.
302
00:13:08,665 --> 00:13:10,199
The photo book.
303
00:13:10,233 --> 00:13:11,867
What other --
[ Scoffs ]
304
00:13:11,902 --> 00:13:13,536
Yes, the photo book.
305
00:13:13,570 --> 00:13:14,804
I knew it.
306
00:13:14,838 --> 00:13:16,772
I can't wait to see
the look on his face
307
00:13:16,807 --> 00:13:19,208
when all his hard work
goes up in smoke.
308
00:13:19,242 --> 00:13:22,578
His hard work is in the book.
309
00:13:22,612 --> 00:13:24,847
Dad, can you come upstairs
for a sec--
310
00:13:24,881 --> 00:13:27,450
Hayley, I wanted to discuss
your performance this week.
311
00:13:27,484 --> 00:13:28,818
And how disappointing I've been?
312
00:13:28,852 --> 00:13:30,352
I've been really impressed.
313
00:13:30,387 --> 00:13:32,188
What? R-really?
314
00:13:32,222 --> 00:13:33,556
You worked your ass off.
315
00:13:33,590 --> 00:13:34,824
Don't think I haven't noticed.
316
00:13:34,858 --> 00:13:37,626
You've done a good --
no, a great --
317
00:13:37,661 --> 00:13:40,596
no, a good job.
318
00:13:40,630 --> 00:13:44,467
And I'm proud of you.
319
00:13:44,501 --> 00:13:46,902
Did he -- did he just say...?
320
00:13:46,937 --> 00:13:50,272
♪ The greatest words
that a girl could hear ♪
321
00:13:50,307 --> 00:13:53,642
♪ well, my dad just spat 'em
right into my ear ♪
322
00:13:53,677 --> 00:13:57,379
♪ I've been waiting
for years and years to hear ♪
323
00:13:57,414 --> 00:13:59,815
♪ my dad, he's proud of me
324
00:13:59,850 --> 00:14:02,151
Pose!
♪ I did a good -- no, great
325
00:14:02,185 --> 00:14:03,652
♪ no, good job
326
00:14:03,687 --> 00:14:05,387
♪ I did a good -- no, great
327
00:14:05,422 --> 00:14:07,189
♪ no, good job
328
00:14:07,224 --> 00:14:08,824
♪ I did a good -- no, great
329
00:14:08,859 --> 00:14:10,893
♪ no, good job
330
00:14:10,927 --> 00:14:14,196
♪ my dad and I
have had rough patches ♪
331
00:14:14,231 --> 00:14:18,901
♪ that's why Jeff's upstairs
with a book of matches ♪
332
00:14:18,935 --> 00:14:20,202
Oh, shit!
333
00:14:20,237 --> 00:14:21,670
[ Music stops ]
334
00:14:21,705 --> 00:14:22,938
Klaus:
Don't worry. I got this.
335
00:14:22,973 --> 00:14:24,273
[ Music continues ]
336
00:14:24,307 --> 00:14:26,342
♪ My name is Klaus, and I --
337
00:14:26,376 --> 00:14:28,878
I-I, uh, uh -- oh, dang.
338
00:14:28,912 --> 00:14:32,348
Say something. Anything.
[ Music fading ]
339
00:14:32,382 --> 00:14:34,717
I killed two teenagers!
340
00:14:34,751 --> 00:14:38,320
♪ I killed two teenagers
[ Music continues ]
341
00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:41,590
♪ I was hammered on bourbon
as I took a turn ♪
342
00:14:41,625 --> 00:14:45,761
♪ then ditched the car
as my passenger burned ♪
343
00:14:45,795 --> 00:14:46,829
Oh, wait.
344
00:14:46,863 --> 00:14:50,733
♪ I killed three teenagers
345
00:14:50,767 --> 00:14:53,602
♪ three teenagers
346
00:14:53,637 --> 00:14:58,407
♪ I killed three teenagers
347
00:14:58,441 --> 00:15:01,510
Don't tell anyone.
348
00:15:02,612 --> 00:15:03,612
Jeff, don't!
349
00:15:03,647 --> 00:15:04,947
Burn, baby, burn!
350
00:15:04,981 --> 00:15:07,683
Roast in the flames of revenge,
Mr. "S."
351
00:15:07,717 --> 00:15:09,285
Put out the book.
Put out the book!
352
00:15:09,319 --> 00:15:10,419
- What?
- The water!
353
00:15:10,453 --> 00:15:12,421
I'm on it, babe.
354
00:15:12,455 --> 00:15:13,856
What are you doing?!
355
00:15:13,890 --> 00:15:15,724
I'll pee out the fire.
356
00:15:15,759 --> 00:15:17,493
You could have just
used the --
357
00:15:17,527 --> 00:15:20,429
Babe, you know this thing
doesn't work when you talk.
358
00:15:23,433 --> 00:15:26,569
The whole book is destroyed.
359
00:15:26,603 --> 00:15:28,837
[ Liquid splashing ]
360
00:15:28,872 --> 00:15:32,708
[ Moaning ]
361
00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:39,191
For the first time in my life,
my dad is proud of me,
362
00:15:39,311 --> 00:15:41,913
and I spoil everything
in five minutes.
363
00:15:41,947 --> 00:15:44,348
He can't find out
this proof book is ruined.
364
00:15:44,383 --> 00:15:45,783
I have to fix this.
365
00:15:45,818 --> 00:15:47,919
Babe, I don't think
this is fixable.
366
00:15:47,953 --> 00:15:49,921
Maybe I can re-create
the whole calendar.
367
00:15:49,955 --> 00:15:52,724
I mean, I-if I take new photos
of the agents,
368
00:15:52,758 --> 00:15:55,126
I can photoshop them
into the old backgrounds.
369
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,327
Will you help me?
370
00:15:56,361 --> 00:15:57,795
[ Groans ]
371
00:15:57,830 --> 00:16:00,264
[ Buzzes lips ]
372
00:16:00,299 --> 00:16:02,366
[ Sighing ]
373
00:16:05,504 --> 00:16:07,672
Is that a yes?
374
00:16:07,706 --> 00:16:08,873
Yeah.
375
00:16:08,907 --> 00:16:10,908
♪
376
00:16:17,282 --> 00:16:19,851
[ Screaming ]
377
00:16:19,885 --> 00:16:21,819
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
378
00:16:29,995 --> 00:16:31,496
[ Woman screaming ]
379
00:16:31,530 --> 00:16:33,564
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
380
00:16:46,678 --> 00:16:48,613
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
381
00:17:00,025 --> 00:17:02,693
[ Screaming ]
382
00:17:02,728 --> 00:17:03,928
[ Horse whinnies ]
383
00:17:03,962 --> 00:17:05,396
[ Screaming ]
384
00:17:05,430 --> 00:17:06,864
Oh, god! Oh, god!
385
00:17:06,899 --> 00:17:07,899
[ Screaming ]
386
00:17:07,933 --> 00:17:09,333
Beautiful!
387
00:17:09,368 --> 00:17:10,568
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
388
00:17:10,602 --> 00:17:11,936
[ Screaming ]
389
00:17:18,010 --> 00:17:19,911
This is gonna work!
390
00:17:23,482 --> 00:17:26,751
Bro: Neiderhoff!
391
00:17:26,785 --> 00:17:28,352
Goodbye, old friend.
392
00:17:28,387 --> 00:17:31,489
You burned too brightly
for this world.
393
00:17:31,523 --> 00:17:34,725
[ Gulping ]
394
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:36,460
Mom, that's not
funeral behavior.
395
00:17:36,495 --> 00:17:38,663
[ Slurring ]
You're not funeral behavior!
396
00:17:38,697 --> 00:17:40,631
[ Engine sputtering ]
397
00:17:43,635 --> 00:17:46,704
We've got company.
398
00:17:46,738 --> 00:17:48,072
We're from Discovery card.
399
00:17:48,106 --> 00:17:50,007
It's standard practice
to inspect the body
400
00:17:50,042 --> 00:17:52,710
when there's a large
outstanding balance.
401
00:17:56,648 --> 00:17:58,115
He's ready now.
402
00:18:01,486 --> 00:18:03,654
Ugh! God, the smell!
403
00:18:03,689 --> 00:18:05,723
He must have been dead
for weeks.
404
00:18:08,961 --> 00:18:10,661
Oh, I almost forgot.
405
00:18:10,696 --> 00:18:12,730
This funeral was paid for
on the card,
406
00:18:12,764 --> 00:18:16,901
which earned Mr. Neiderhoff
this Discovery card beach towel.
407
00:18:22,007 --> 00:18:23,741
Roger:
[ Muffled ] Yay!
408
00:18:23,775 --> 00:18:26,010
Thank you. He would have wanted
to be buried with it.
409
00:18:30,716 --> 00:18:33,985
I'll be the coolest guy
at the beach.
410
00:18:37,723 --> 00:18:39,123
Smith, enjoy your big night,
411
00:18:39,157 --> 00:18:41,392
because tomorrow
we put away the calendar
412
00:18:41,426 --> 00:18:47,398
and start to focus on the
C.I.A.'s big night of magic!
413
00:18:47,432 --> 00:18:49,533
That was supposed to be
a smoke pellet.
414
00:18:51,637 --> 00:18:52,970
[ Breathing heavily ]
415
00:18:53,005 --> 00:18:55,072
Hayley, did you remember
to bring my lapel pin?
416
00:18:55,107 --> 00:18:57,375
Don't worry.
I have it right here.
417
00:18:57,409 --> 00:18:59,477
Wait, this is the wrong pin.
418
00:18:59,511 --> 00:19:02,013
This is a big night.
I asked for my big-night pin.
419
00:19:02,047 --> 00:19:04,982
My big-night pin is bigger.
It has star-shaped stars.
420
00:19:05,017 --> 00:19:06,684
These are dot-shaped stars.
421
00:19:06,718 --> 00:19:08,686
There were so many
on top of the dresser.
422
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,688
Uh, may-- maybe I should have
brought them all.
423
00:19:10,722 --> 00:19:14,525
You think?! I can't believe I
said you were doing a good job.
424
00:19:14,559 --> 00:19:15,960
You ruined this night
425
00:19:15,994 --> 00:19:18,696
by making it all about
bringing the wrong pin.
426
00:19:18,730 --> 00:19:20,097
[ Crying ]
427
00:19:20,132 --> 00:19:23,434
Mr. "S," Hayley didn't ruin
this night for you.
428
00:19:23,468 --> 00:19:25,069
She saved it.
429
00:19:25,103 --> 00:19:28,039
Jeff, are you out of your mind?
This night is a disaster!
430
00:19:28,073 --> 00:19:29,073
Dots.
431
00:19:29,107 --> 00:19:31,442
Dots are too good for you.
432
00:19:31,476 --> 00:19:32,843
[ Gasps ]
You take that back!
433
00:19:32,878 --> 00:19:34,011
I won't.
434
00:19:34,046 --> 00:19:35,880
- [ Gasps ]
- You're a big jerk!
435
00:19:35,914 --> 00:19:38,649
For your information,
I destroyed your proof book,
436
00:19:38,684 --> 00:19:41,619
and Hayley worked her butt off
to re-create the whole calendar.
437
00:19:41,653 --> 00:19:44,455
She did it because she knew how
big of a deal this was for you.
438
00:19:44,489 --> 00:19:46,123
All she wants is your approval,
439
00:19:46,158 --> 00:19:48,592
and all you ever do
is cut her down.
440
00:19:48,627 --> 00:19:50,027
I'm motivating her to be better.
441
00:19:50,062 --> 00:19:52,530
Your daughter
is already amazing,
442
00:19:52,564 --> 00:19:55,099
and it's sad you've never
been able to see that.
443
00:19:58,603 --> 00:20:00,571
- Jeff?
- Oh, hey, Mr. "S"!
444
00:20:00,605 --> 00:20:01,806
I need your help.
445
00:20:06,645 --> 00:20:08,913
Dad, w-what are you
doing here?
446
00:20:08,947 --> 00:20:11,148
I'm here to say I'm sorry.
447
00:20:11,183 --> 00:20:12,917
Did Jeff tell you
about the calendar?
448
00:20:12,951 --> 00:20:15,753
Yeah, but what I'm sorry about
is this.
449
00:20:17,589 --> 00:20:19,790
I should never
have torn this up.
450
00:20:19,825 --> 00:20:22,626
It's a beautiful picture.
451
00:20:22,661 --> 00:20:23,794
For a kid.
452
00:20:23,829 --> 00:20:25,596
Thanks, dad.
453
00:20:25,630 --> 00:20:27,774
But you're missing
your big night.
454
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,055
*** got it covered.
455
00:20:29,175 --> 00:20:30,774
This is January.
456
00:20:31,208 --> 00:20:32,563
He's a football man.
457
00:20:32,683 --> 00:20:34,485
He goes really fast.
458
00:20:34,605 --> 00:20:37,691
Next slide, hahaha.
459
00:20:37,811 --> 00:20:39,711
I was in here when she did this one.
460
00:20:40,004 --> 00:20:42,250
But it looks like a guy washing his truck.
461
00:20:42,370 --> 00:20:44,546
Maybe it was dusty or...
462
00:20:44,666 --> 00:20:47,452
- Next slide...
- Who was asking to do this?
463
00:20:47,498 --> 00:20:50,427
Oh, this guy was really nice. Wait!
464
00:20:50,547 --> 00:20:52,512
I think I was there for the last one.
465
00:20:52,632 --> 00:20:55,098
- Previous slide...
- Sit down, you ***.
466
00:20:55,218 --> 00:21:00,266
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com