1 00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:06,138 I know it's weird to sit in Santa's lap at our age, 2 00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:07,873 but we got to do what it takes. 3 00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:09,541 Why are you walking so fast? 4 00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:11,377 I'm trying to keep up with the new kid. 5 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,880 That dork? Oh, great idea. 6 00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:17,383 Let's hang around him and lower our status even more. 7 00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:19,385 Right at the height of bullying season. 8 00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:23,889 Don't you get it, Steve? This kid's such a loser, 9 00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:26,058 if we stay within 20 feet of him, 10 00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:28,160 bullies will never even see us. 11 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:30,162 A cloaking device for dorks? 12 00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,398 That's so crazy, it might work. 13 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,033 Smith and snot! 14 00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:35,701 The two biggest losers in the whole -- 15 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,736 who is that? 16 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,838 He's beautiful. 17 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,474 Glasses, weak chin, bad posture. 18 00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:44,843 Oh, sweet scoliosis. 19 00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,478 He's mine. 20 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,714 Oh, my God, snot! It worked! 21 00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:50,082 Hey, new kid! 22 00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:53,218 I don't know your name, but I don't need to. 23 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,387 It's Martin. I told you not to tell me! 24 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,856 Your new name is fist catch. 25 00:00:57,858 --> 00:01:01,527 No! You're supposed to catch it with your face! 26 00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:03,495 Sorry. My face is busy 27 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,764 watching your face gets its ass kicked! 28 00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:08,434 Wah! 29 00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:10,035 Whoa. 30 00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:11,837 Finish him. 31 00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:13,405 Whoa. 32 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,373 What? 33 00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:21,280 Brutality. 34 00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:23,115 You should go into radio. 35 00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:25,684 Naw, man. I want to be a do-cent. 36 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:28,187 At a museum. A fancy museum. 37 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:31,090 Get real into art. 38 00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:36,762 # good morning, U.S.A. # 39 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:40,432 # I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day # 40 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:43,368 # the sun in the sky has a smile on his face # 41 00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:47,172 # and he's shinin' a salute to the American race # 42 00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:52,911 # oh, boy, it's swell to say # 43 00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:55,280 # good -- # # good morning, U.S.A. # 44 00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,448 aah! 45 00:01:57,617 --> 00:02:01,086 # good morning, U.S.A. # 46 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:04,823 whoa. 47 00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,258 Mertz is the toughest kid in school. 48 00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:07,593 H-how did you do that? 49 00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:09,962 Easy. I take karate. 50 00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:11,396 Karate is the coolest. 51 00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:12,798 I'm always saying that. 52 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,399 No, Steve. 53 00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:16,568 I believe you said glitter pens were the coolest. 54 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:19,404 Not anymore, snot! Karate is the coolest now. 55 00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:20,906 Yeah, it is cool. 56 00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:23,175 You guys should come take class at my dojo. 57 00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:25,477 The only drawback is beating kids up 58 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,080 keeps getting me kicked out of school. 59 00:02:28,082 --> 00:02:31,350 I'm 17 and I can't read a alphabet. 60 00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:34,319 But I know which one the moon is. 61 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,255 You thinking what I'm thinking, snot? 62 00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:39,024 We visit him in juvenile hall every month until he gets out 63 00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:40,692 and then we all move in together? 64 00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,995 No! We take karate at his dojo! 65 00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:46,165 Which we can use to break Martin out of juvie! 66 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,699 Brilliant! No, snot. 67 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:50,636 I kind of just thought we'd do this new thing. 68 00:02:50,638 --> 00:02:52,804 Forget Martin. 69 00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:55,440 Did I like Martin more than you did?! 70 00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:00,512 Punch! Punch! Ai-ya! 71 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:01,480 Ai-ya! 72 00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:02,548 Harder! Ai-ya! 73 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:03,715 Angrier! Ai-ya! 74 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,450 Destroy your opponent! Ai-ya! 75 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,622 I'm sensei tom. Welcome to dojo biden. 76 00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,057 You must be snot and Steve. 77 00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:13,559 Oh, my God. He's telepathic! 78 00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:15,394 No. Martin used his one call from juvie 79 00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:17,029 to let me know you'd be coming. 80 00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:18,397 He has a weird family situation. 81 00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,165 I'd adopt him, but the state won't let me 82 00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:21,533 because I've never looked into it 83 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,001 and I can't be bothered. 84 00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:29,141 Listen, students. 85 00:03:29,143 --> 00:03:31,243 At dojo biden, we care about two things -- 86 00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:34,713 the centuries-old art of karate... 87 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,683 And current two-term vice president Joe biden. 88 00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:42,154 Let's see what you two are capable of. 89 00:03:42,156 --> 00:03:44,056 You! Glasses! Throw a punch. 90 00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,324 Ai-ya-a-a... 91 00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:47,392 So, capable of nothing. 92 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,594 Okay, you. 93 00:03:49,495 --> 00:03:50,729 That was pathetic! 94 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,097 You're never gonna learn to fight 95 00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:54,166 unless you tap into the anger inside you. 96 00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,335 What makes you angry? 97 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,203 I don't know. Everyone has anger. 98 00:03:58,205 --> 00:03:59,905 Erik over there has rich parents 99 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,873 and feels guilty about being white. 100 00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,842 Marcia over there gets her anger 101 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,244 from her varicose veins. 102 00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,546 She's only 14, and those never go away! 103 00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:10,582 So, I'll ask you again. What makes you angry, son? 104 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,417 Don't call me "son"! 105 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,219 There it is. 106 00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:16,188 You don't like when I call you "son." 107 00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:17,756 Dead dad, huh? 108 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:18,757 Yes! 109 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,059 Then use that and punch. 110 00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,694 Unh! Better! 111 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,796 And you must hate that weak excuse for a mustache. 112 00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,231 Ai-ya! 113 00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:27,899 And I bet you're poor. 114 00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,601 Lucky. 115 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:30,702 Show me how angry you are. 116 00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:31,870 Punch this board! 117 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:34,206 Aiiii-ya! 118 00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:35,607 I can definitely work with you. 119 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,209 But you're gonna have to replace this board. 120 00:04:37,211 --> 00:04:38,877 It's my seasoning shelf. 121 00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:41,413 Now, my spices are on my nunchuk rack. 122 00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,715 I don't even know where my nunchuks are. 123 00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:46,718 Let's just say I'm not ready to have guests. 124 00:04:50,823 --> 00:04:52,758 Ooh! Yahtzee! On my first turn! 125 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,026 Here, you go. 126 00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:57,562 And now we wait. 127 00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:02,434 See, Francine, this is why I can't go piņata shopping. 128 00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:04,403 I just want to rescue them all. 129 00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:05,604 Wait. What's that smell? 130 00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:07,072 It smells terrible. 131 00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,741 Oh, hayley, are you back to homeopathic deodorant? 132 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:10,942 It's not me. 133 00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:12,511 I haven't broken a sweat in a year. 134 00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:15,113 What do you think it is? 135 00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:17,649 Oh, I can't wait to find out what it is. 136 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,785 It's a mystery. Did you find it? 137 00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:22,487 Oh, it's me, isn't it? 138 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,190 Klaus, you're an outside fish now. 139 00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:27,759 Not cool, bro! I'm a fish! 140 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,295 Sometimes I smell fishy! 141 00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:31,630 Ooh! Yahtzee! 142 00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:34,199 Uhp, nope. Read it wrong. 143 00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:35,867 This is nothing. 144 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,172 I feel badass. 145 00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:41,707 Yeah, this feels more serious now 146 00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,308 that we're wearing these bathrobes. 147 00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,143 Enough chitchat. 148 00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:47,112 Now make like a woman whose neighbor has a pet chimpanzee 149 00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:47,946 and face off! 150 00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:50,115 Ai-ya! 151 00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:52,217 Um, Mr. sensei tom, are you sure 152 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,186 you want us fighting this soon? 153 00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:55,821 W-we haven't been taught any moves yet. 154 00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:58,290 Punch! Aah! 155 00:05:58,292 --> 00:06:00,158 My shoulder! Why did you do that?! 156 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,793 Steve, I'm so sorry. 157 00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,128 Don't apologize. 158 00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:05,163 Your dad didn't apologize for dying. 159 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:08,500 Your jacket didn't apologize for not having sleeves. 160 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:09,568 Use your anger! 161 00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,636 Attack! Attack! Ai-ya! 162 00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:14,239 Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! 163 00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:16,641 Ai-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya! 164 00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:17,876 Aah! Aah! Aaaaaaah! 165 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,350 Aaaaaaaaaah! 166 00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:26,918 Whoa. 167 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,153 Congratulations. 168 00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:29,888 You've unlocked your anger. 169 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,089 You're one of us now. 170 00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,592 In the words of vice president Joe biden, 171 00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:36,928 "you do not have permission to use my name on your dojo." 172 00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:40,832 Sleeveless! Sleeveless! 173 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:43,068 Sleeveless! Sleeveless! 174 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,537 Aaaaaaaaaah! 175 00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:51,009 Aaaaaaaaaah! 176 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,617 Things got pretty crazy yesterday, huh? 177 00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:00,185 I-I just had to jog home 178 00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:02,220 'cause I was so pumped up from all the karate. 179 00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:03,555 Sure. 180 00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:06,725 Also, I'm kind of thinking karate's not for us. 181 00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,126 Let's just go back 182 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,128 to the Steve and snot we know and love -- 183 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,530 cowering from bullies, 184 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:14,065 wearing shoes in places where they serve food. 185 00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:15,734 Snot, w-where you going? 186 00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:18,437 Oh, I'm gonna go sit with my karate friends. 187 00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:19,738 They get me. 188 00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,873 And they don't put up with bullies. 189 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,275 Plus they like it 190 00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:25,444 when I lose control of my bottled-up anger. 191 00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:27,712 I thought we agreed karate's not for us! 192 00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:29,548 You agreed with you, Steve. 193 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,716 You agreed. 194 00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:34,252 Yo, sleeveless, what's up? 195 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,755 Whoa. That guy accidentally bumped you. 196 00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:37,956 You gonna let him 197 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,090 accidentally get away with that? 198 00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,792 Unleash your anger. 199 00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:43,929 Let him go, Steve. 200 00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:46,832 Snot's in an action movie now. 201 00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:49,067 Hour 36. 202 00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:52,103 The sun seems like it comes every day now. 203 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,040 The cat's back! 204 00:07:58,277 --> 00:08:00,912 What's the matter? Kitty can't swim? 205 00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:03,448 Welcome to the water jungle, baby. 206 00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:07,352 You can never get to me. No one can get to me! 207 00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:11,623 No, no! It never ends! 208 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:14,593 Okay. I'm starting to get the hang of this. 209 00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:17,596 I just have to stay one step ahead of them. 210 00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:18,897 Oh, no! 211 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,336 They're teaming up. 212 00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:26,605 A lizard! 213 00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:28,740 Wait. Do lizards eat fish? 214 00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:33,445 He just wants to try it! See if he likes it! 215 00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:39,518 This bathroom pass is fake. 216 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,654 Yeah. I'm still gonna go to the bathroom. 217 00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:46,024 Well, go to class after that. 218 00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:50,462 Snot, what are you doing here? 219 00:08:50,464 --> 00:08:52,964 This seat's for bad boys. We're good boys. 220 00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:55,033 I got caught fighting twice today. 221 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,968 Snot, w-where is this coming from? 222 00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,004 I feel like sensei tom is turning you 223 00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:01,406 into something you're not -- an angry person. 224 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,742 You walk around looking like Tommy Lee Jones 225 00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:04,709 all the time now. 226 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,011 I've always been angry. 227 00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:07,712 Sensei tom understands that, 228 00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,581 and he's teaching me to use it. 229 00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:12,083 Lonstein, you can't come in the office 230 00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,553 because Marissa Stevens' mom is here. 231 00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,187 So listen, we have a three-strike policy 232 00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:17,689 on fighting. 233 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:20,559 You've got two. One more and you're expelled. 234 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,861 Feel me? Now, if you'll excuse me, 235 00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:26,097 I have to go ensure that Marissa Stevens gets an "a" 236 00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:27,766 by giving her mom a "d." 237 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,405 Ai-ya! 238 00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:37,576 Uh, is it a bad time to talk about snot? 239 00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:39,744 His warrior name is sleeveless. 240 00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,179 Okay, well, sleeveless 241 00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:42,747 is getting in a lot of trouble at school, 242 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,849 and for some reason, he listens to you. 243 00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:46,251 So, uh, maybe you could tell him 244 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,786 that everything you're teaching him 245 00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:49,554 is wrong and horrible before he gets kicked out. 246 00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,256 School's not for everyone. 247 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,692 You know who said that? Joe biden. 248 00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:55,260 I don't think he said that. 249 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,695 He has said those words. 250 00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:59,297 Maybe not in that order, but he has said them. 251 00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,433 Now, let me tell you a story about a young kid 252 00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:03,935 who was angry at the world and got kicked out of school. 253 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,937 It was me. 254 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,472 And now look where I am. 255 00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:11,242 I lease a dojo. I sleep in a dojo. 256 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,411 I do my cooking and laundry in a dojo. 257 00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,814 And none of that would have been possible -- 258 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,415 wonderful. All right. 259 00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:19,284 I'm gonna speak a language everyone understands. 260 00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:23,088 This is $12, which I have a feeling you could use. 261 00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:26,057 The money is yours if you let snot go. 262 00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:29,961 Look, I'm not gonna lie. I could use this $12. 263 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,831 Settle down with a nice ham sandwich. 264 00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,599 But you can't put a price on anger. 265 00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:36,267 And that's what sleeveless has. 266 00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:37,969 If you want your friend back, 267 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,438 beat him in the upcoming karate tournament. 268 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,440 If I beat him, he's free? 269 00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:45,143 Is that some sort of ancient karate code? 270 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,679 No. If you beat him, he'll be a loser, 271 00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,180 and I don't work with losers. 272 00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:53,018 Now, what else can I do to earn that $12? 273 00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:57,122 Hey, dad. 274 00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:59,424 I know you took martial arts in your c.I.A. Training, 275 00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:01,426 and I was wondering if you could teach me some. 276 00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:03,028 I have to beat snot in a karate tournament 277 00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:04,629 so I can save our friendship. 278 00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:08,667 There is only one thing you need to know about karate. 279 00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:11,102 Guns beat karate every time. 280 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,106 Good rap sesh, son. 281 00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:22,781 I hear you're seeking martial arts instruction. 282 00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:24,949 Perhaps I can show you the way. 283 00:11:24,951 --> 00:11:26,518 Shouldn't you have an accent? 284 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,720 Uh, I moved here when I was 2. 285 00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,855 Lesson one -- open your mind. 286 00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:33,291 Heads up, Francine. 287 00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:35,694 I ignored our talk and gave Steve a gun. 288 00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:39,798 Delivery for...The smiths? 289 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,232 Well, I didn't order anything. 290 00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:43,001 Maybe it's something Francine ordered. 291 00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:45,070 Or hayley. Or Steve or Roger. 292 00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:46,337 There are a lot of people with that last name 293 00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:47,505 in this house. 294 00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:49,307 Also could be a gift from someone. 295 00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,643 Maybe bullock or one of Francine's friends. 296 00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:53,078 Or a friend of hayley's. 297 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,313 Yep, the smiths have a lot of friends. 298 00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:56,748 Fun tidbit -- did you know 299 00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,583 that dupont is like the French Smith? 300 00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:00,085 Hey, French Smith! Remember him? 301 00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:01,352 Do you mean French Stewart? 302 00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:02,654 Sure, whatever. I'll sign. 303 00:12:06,025 --> 00:12:07,726 It's working. 304 00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,327 Well, I'll just leave this here. 305 00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:11,229 You've done it, Klaus. 306 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:14,232 You're once again an inside fish. 307 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,333 Ha ha! 308 00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:16,935 Outside fish, Klaus. 309 00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:20,038 No! No, please! The cats and the birds! 310 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,286 Sensei tom is teaching snot to fight with anger, 311 00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,122 so I need help harnessing mine. 312 00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:38,923 Sensei tom. 313 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,292 Did you know he lives in his dojo? 314 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,762 Well, you technically live in yours. 315 00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:46,364 Lesson two -- don't worry about where I live. 316 00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,299 You're not an angry boy, Steve, 317 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,968 so there's nothing to harness. 318 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,436 But that's okay, 319 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,304 because people who fight with anger are sloppy. 320 00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:57,041 You're gonna fight with cold, calculating technique. 321 00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:05,550 # living with my eyes closed # 322 00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:08,586 # going day to day # 323 00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:11,589 # I never knew the difference # 324 00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:15,493 # I never cared either way # 325 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:18,329 # looking for a reason # 326 00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:21,566 # searching for a sign # 327 00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:23,802 # reaching out with both hands # 328 00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:27,238 you're ready. Now make me four more. 329 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,274 But the tournament is in 20 minutes. 330 00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:32,076 Don't worry about time. Let me worry about time. 331 00:13:32,078 --> 00:13:34,579 - Shit! Shit! Damn it! - We're so late! 332 00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:38,917 Roger, I'm nervous. 333 00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:41,119 Don't worry. You've trained. You've prepared. 334 00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:42,787 Nothing can stop you, unless... 335 00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:45,590 Oh, no. Oh, God, no! What?! 336 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,025 That guy has a better goatee than me! 337 00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:48,493 Excuse me. 338 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,594 Steve, what are you doing here? 339 00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:51,362 I thought you quit karate. 340 00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:54,032 No. I'm gonna kick your ass so we can be friends again. 341 00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:56,868 It doesn't sound like a good plan when I say it out loud, 342 00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:58,002 but trust me, I thought it through. 343 00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:00,638 Okay, goatee disaster averted. 344 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,340 See you in the finals. 345 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,876 No. I'll see you in the finals. 346 00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:08,112 Now announcing the first round draw, 347 00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:11,049 Steve Smith versus snot lonstein. 348 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:14,986 So, I guess I'll see you in the first round. 349 00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:17,889 The all-important first round it is. 350 00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:20,325 Sleeveless! It's time. 351 00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:23,795 Well, well. Sensei tom. 352 00:14:23,797 --> 00:14:26,197 Sensei Ryan? I thought you were dead. 353 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,866 You wish I was dead! 354 00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:29,834 'Cause then you wouldn't owe me $15 355 00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:31,169 from our last cable bill! 356 00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:33,238 I told you that I wouldn't pay for hbo! 357 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,372 I don't watch it! 358 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,074 I said that the day we moved in! 359 00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,709 You do watch it, and I know 360 00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:39,744 you're still using my hbo go password. 361 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:41,880 "Water for elephants" was on my "recently watched," 362 00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,514 and I didn't watch it. 363 00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:45,917 I saw it in the theater like it's supposed to be seen! 364 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:54,325 Now, welcome to the fifth annual 365 00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:56,995 Langley falls karate tournament. 366 00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,563 And guess what? 367 00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,699 We're only starting 20 minutes behind schedule! 368 00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:04,235 Steve, if you get in trouble out there, kiss him. 369 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,904 It'll throw him off his game. 370 00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:07,739 And if things get really hairy, 371 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:10,174 just give him a tap on the ol' starfish. 372 00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:11,743 I don't know what that means. 373 00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,578 He'll like it. Now get out there! 374 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:17,715 Prepare to go down. 375 00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,050 Wow. I really feel your anger. 376 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:21,019 It'll be easy to counter 377 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,587 with my cold, calculating precision. 378 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,289 My sensei made me a master 379 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,858 using a variety of unorthodox methods. 380 00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:29,894 I warn you, snot. I've been brushing wigs. 381 00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:31,195 Fight! 382 00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:32,730 Brush, brush. 383 00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:34,132 Ai-ya! Aah! 384 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:35,133 Destroy him! 385 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:37,268 Ai-ya! 386 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,369 Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya- ya-ya-ya-ya! 387 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:39,737 Ow! Ow! 388 00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:41,873 Aah! Oh! Oh! 389 00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:43,875 Sensei, what do I do?! 390 00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:46,010 Starfish! Oh! 391 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,180 This kid's obviously better. 392 00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:54,986 Hey, sensei Ryan, nice disciple. 393 00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,554 Shut up! He came to me. 394 00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,056 I didn't choose him. 395 00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,258 But you chose to see "water for elephants" 396 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:01,426 on a small screen. 397 00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:02,894 You're still the tool here. 398 00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:06,798 I'm sorry, sensei. I failed you. 399 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,333 No, Steve. It's my fault. 400 00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:10,068 Instead of teaching you karate, 401 00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:12,737 I had you make me a Martini and give me a massage. 402 00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:14,772 Roger, I thought those were all skills 403 00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,074 that translate to karate. 404 00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:17,842 Really?! You did?! 405 00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:21,112 Steve, you make these wild leaps. 406 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,414 Now, leaps -- now, that would have been great for karate. 407 00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:27,852 You know what's weird? 408 00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:31,155 Even though Klaus has been gone for a while, I still smell him. 409 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,323 I smell it, too. 410 00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,995 Yes. Yes. 411 00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:40,665 Smell it. Smell all of me. 412 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:41,866 It's getting stronger! 413 00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:48,840 Congratulations. 414 00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:52,377 You're outside people now. 415 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,553 There are an awful lot of cats back here. 416 00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:04,956 And -- and birds. 417 00:17:04,958 --> 00:17:06,524 I-I was getting to you. 418 00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:13,164 Don't worry, guys. I'll be fine. 419 00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:14,232 Meow. 420 00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,669 I saved a seat for snot. 421 00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:22,373 You can release it to the general population. 422 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,708 We've lost him. 423 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,076 I've lost him. Whoa! 424 00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:27,245 Snot's about to beat somebody up in the quad! 425 00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:29,547 By the bike racks! In the northwest corner! 426 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:32,183 Right by the bike that belonged to that kid who died 427 00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:34,419 and now serves as a grim reminder of his passing! 428 00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:35,820 Some say if you feel a cool breeze, 429 00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,355 it's him whistling, but it's not true! 430 00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:39,157 When your body dies, your soul dies with it! 431 00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:41,659 Anyway, if you hit the library, you've gone too far! 432 00:17:44,363 --> 00:17:46,164 Oh, no. If he gets in one more fight, 433 00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:48,032 he's gonna get kicked out of school! 434 00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:51,202 Which means it's our last chance to see him in action! 435 00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:54,138 No, it means we have to stop him! Let's go! 436 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,240 Finish it. 437 00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:57,241 What? 438 00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,077 Finish it! 439 00:18:00,612 --> 00:18:04,315 It's weird that you care about this. 440 00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,021 Snot, wait! You can't do this! 441 00:18:10,023 --> 00:18:12,356 You're gonna get kicked out of school! 442 00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:14,559 Sensei tom says I don't need school. 443 00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:15,927 Sensei tom's a loser. 444 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:17,562 He lives above his dojo 445 00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:20,565 and steals his wi-Fi from the h&r block next door. 446 00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:23,234 Look, I tried to save you by fighting you, 447 00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:24,769 but I'm not a fighter. 448 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,705 So I'm gonna save you with love, not anger. 449 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:28,873 Eh! 450 00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,408 Steve, what are you doing?! 451 00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,643 I'm showing you I love you, snot! 452 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,378 And you have two strikes! 453 00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:36,747 I'm taking this strike for you! 454 00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:37,982 Ah! Ow! 455 00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:40,885 But you're not a bad boy, Steve! 456 00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:43,121 Neither are you! 457 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:46,257 This all started 'cause you didn't want to be bullied, 458 00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:47,725 and now you're doing it! 459 00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:49,927 Sure, you've got a lot to be angry about, 460 00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:52,330 b-but you've also got a lot to be happy about. 461 00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:53,998 Ooh! 462 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,433 Like your friends that care about you. 463 00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:57,802 Aah! Ow! 464 00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:01,539 Remember when you and I had lunch together that one time? 465 00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:07,979 Please let me know as soon as I've gotten through to you. 466 00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:09,480 Because I've reached a point 467 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,516 where even the NFL wouldn't clear me to play. 468 00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:13,284 "American dad!" Stands with 469 00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:16,621 the national football league players association. 470 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,456 Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! 471 00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,491 I mean, break it up, kids. 472 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:24,195 Steve, that's strike one, and you don't get a second. 473 00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:25,696 No, wait. You get three. 474 00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:28,466 You hear that, everybody? You get two free fights! 475 00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:29,834 I expect you to use them! 476 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,769 Thanks, Steve. 477 00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:35,973 Your love made me realize that anger isn't all I am. 478 00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:38,309 And instead of using my anger to fight, 479 00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:40,711 I should bottle it up and only let it out 480 00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:42,647 when I can no longer control it. 481 00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:47,952 Maybe in, like, 20 years, quietly, victim by victim. 482 00:19:49,621 --> 00:19:53,391 You're gonna be in therapy for a long time, buddy. 483 00:19:57,996 --> 00:20:00,565 Stan, you're never getting back in! 484 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:03,701 I've got a delivery for Klaus heissler. 485 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,803 Ooh. Hello. 486 00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:08,072 I wonder what it is. 487 00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:09,407 Oh, it's big. 488 00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:10,908 It's so big! 489 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,543 And it's all for me! 490 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:15,813 Uh, what could it be? Maybe a giant aquarium? 491 00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:18,883 Maybe it's a lifetime supply of fish food. 492 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,852 Or maybe it's Stan, Francine, and hayley. 493 00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,588 All right, guys. 494 00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,923 Truce. Welcome home. 495 00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:39,036 He's opening it. It's working! 496 00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:42,907 Oh, no! Not the kitties and the birdies! 497 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,342 Aaah! No! No, no, no! 498 00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:46,377 Oh! Aah! Ouch! 499 00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:47,912 Once they've taken care of Klaus, 500 00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,747 the house will be ours again. 501 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,282 No! Aah! 502 00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:56,854 I killed them. I killed them all! 503 00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:58,889 Do you hear that, Stan?! 504 00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:02,360 Ha! Nice try! 505 00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:04,462 Bye! Have a beautiful time!