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♪ Good morning, USA! ♪
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♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
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♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
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♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
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♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Where the hell's
my Red Dawn DVD?
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I told Steve
to alphabetize these.
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Oh, honey,
cut him a little slack.
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He just started
his first summer job.
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Why don't I alphabetize them?
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No! I asked Steve to do this.
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And he did a half-ass job.
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It may not seem important,
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but he needs to learn to do
everything with his full ass.
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Steve, there you are.
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I told you
to alphabetize the DVDs.
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And I can't find Red Dawn.
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Dad, can I unwind for a minute?
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I'm walking in from
a hard day at work.
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Hard day?
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You work at a grocery store.
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You know
who actually works hard?
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Machines.
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Machines work non-stop
for years.
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I mean, take my watch.
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Where's my watch?
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You left it in the hotel room
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in Orlando last spring.
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Wow. You can go a long time
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without needing a watch.
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Dad, Red Dawn is right here.
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It just got switched
with Red Sonja.
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No, I want you to
re-alphabetize these.
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Switching isn't alphabetizing.
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What's the difference?
They're all in order now.
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What's the difference?!
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You do things the right way,
you have a good life.
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You do things the wrong way,
you end up riding the rails.
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What?
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Wh-What does that even mean?
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It means do it the right way!
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Now, if you'll excuse me,
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I have a Father of the
Year award to accept.
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And the Pappy goes to...
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...my man, Stan Smith.
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Thank you, Alan Thicke.
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This is amazing.
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Honey!
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I told you I'm using
the garage for my award show!
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Park on the street!
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I am so sick of this crap, Alan!
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You're ruining my thing!
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I'm sorry, it's over.
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But it's not you.
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You know that, right?
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It's not you.
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It's your body.
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Hey, knock that off!
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I'm dumping this girl,
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and your sad music
is making her cry.
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Uh, I don't think
it's the music, buddy.
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I do. In fact, I'm surprised
your crappy playing
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hasn't driven everyone
in this place to tears.
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Oh, yeah?
Well, why don't you come up here
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if you think you can do better?
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I don't even play guitar.
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But you suck so hard,
I bet I could
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be better than you in a week.
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Donald!
It's okay.
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Wait, if you don't play,
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why are you wearing a
Martin Guitar T-shirt?
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That's 'cause I'm
a hipster, dumbass.
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We pretend to be stuff.
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All right, Mr. Hip.
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Meet me back here in a week,
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and let's see who's better.
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Loser never shows his
face in here again.
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I'll do you one better.
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The loser never comes back
here even in a mask.
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See you in a week, Mr. Hip.
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See you in a week, um...
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Jamal.
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Your name's Jamal?
But you're white.
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So?
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Is this really the first time
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you've had this conversation?
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Come on, Jamal.
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What do you think's going on?
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Seems like everyone's
getting called
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into Bullock's office today.
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Uh-oh, I know that cry.
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Either they're
making budget cuts
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or all our parents got
in a car accident again.
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Smith?
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Sir, am I getting fired?
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I wouldn't say that.
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I'd say "sacked."
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Because that's more
what Austin Powers would say.
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I do a great Austin Powers
impression.
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You're sacked, baby!
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But I've worked here 20 years.
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You're just eliminating
the position?
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Oh, no, what you do
is important.
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I just found someone
who will do it cheaper.
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Meet Agent Gary.
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Gary's a half-wit.
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00:04:01,570 --> 00:04:03,637
But he only costs half as much.
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Gary, stop rubbing
the stapler on your pants.
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So, that's it?
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I'm out of a job just like that?
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Yup, it's pretty crazy
how life can change so quickly.
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Here's another example of how
life can change so quickly.
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Ha-hey! Am I in time for a show?
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No, I challenged some dick
to a guitar duel.
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Now get out of here,
I need to practice.
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Go play in your attic
if you don't want an audience.
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Stairs.
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All right, how
hard could this be?
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The shape is pretty
self-explanatory.
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Roger, I-I thought you knew
how to play the guitar.
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I used to.
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But you know the part of your
brain that deals with music?
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I took some PCP and
just destroyed it.
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Hey, why don't you
order some DVDs
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from that Latin guy
with the infomercials?
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Lorenzo!
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That's genius, Hayley.
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Wonder how come I never
have any great ideas?
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I mean, could it be the PCP?
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Well, I don't know.
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Let's find out!
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Shoot, left my lighter
in the attic.
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Stairs.
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You know, Mr. Smith,
I'd like to give you the job.
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And the way you opened
an entire pack of Starbursts
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with your tongue
was really impressive.
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But I just don't think
you're qualified.
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But I've worked for the
CIA for the last 20 years.
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Yes, I see you put
that on your résumé.
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But it's not
on your permanent record.
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"Permanent record"?
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That's a real thing?
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Well, if it wasn't,
how would I know
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that in fifth grade you tried
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to get out of a math test
by putting a slice of pizza
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in your underwear
and saying it was your period?
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That's on there?!
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00:05:49,177 --> 00:05:50,811
All right, first of all,
that never happened.
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Second of all, it was a calzone.
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I'm sorry, Mr. Smith.
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But with a permanent record
like this,
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no one's going to hire you.
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Oh, you know what it must be?
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My CIA work isn't on there
because it's classified.
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Here, talk to my boss.
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Yeah, hi, this is Shaun
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00:06:06,328 --> 00:06:08,029
over at Buffalo Wild Wings
corporate.
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I-I'm sorry to bother you,
but I'm sitting here
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with a Stan Smith,
who claims he worked for you.
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He-he did?
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Oh, is that right?
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Okay.
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Eh, nice try, but that was
clearly one of your friends.
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He gave me the old
"Now that I told you,
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I'm gonna have to kill you"
joke.
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Hi, Stan.
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You got to stop
telling people, Stan.
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So according
to my permanent record,
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the last job I had
was in college
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sweeping up hair.
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Working at a barbershop
shows initiative.
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Barbershop?
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It was a White Castle.
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I finished raking
all the leaves.
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00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,267
Did you clean the gutters?
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There was nothing in them.
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Then get a ladder and go up
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00:06:48,637 --> 00:06:50,037
and stuff the leaves
in the gutters.
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Then clean the gutters.
But that's...
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They won't always be clean.
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00:06:52,674 --> 00:06:54,542
You need to be prepared
for that day.
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Full ass, son.
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Fine, I'll do it after work.
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Wait, Steve, didn't you say
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00:07:00,649 --> 00:07:02,750
someone got fired
at the grocery store?
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Stan, maybe you
could take that job.
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Oh, no, no, no!
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Uh, uh, Dad doesn't
want that job.
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00:07:08,023 --> 00:07:09,323
It's-it's entry level.
192
00:07:09,358 --> 00:07:10,791
Well, I got to start somewhere.
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00:07:10,826 --> 00:07:13,561
Yay, I don't have to get a job!
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00:07:18,967 --> 00:07:22,370
Hey, Steve, did you see that
guy earlier buying condoms?
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00:07:22,404 --> 00:07:24,372
And now this lady's
getting tampons.
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This day is crazy.
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I didn't know grocery
stores were so sexy.
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Have fun.
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00:07:31,380 --> 00:07:33,714
You know that chick has sex.
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Dad, come on, we're working.
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00:07:35,884 --> 00:07:37,218
Hey, Steve.
202
00:07:37,252 --> 00:07:38,753
Rick just quit.
203
00:07:38,787 --> 00:07:40,721
So, how would you like to be
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00:07:40,756 --> 00:07:42,823
the new assistant manager?
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Would I?!
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00:07:44,126 --> 00:07:45,760
Sir, I've got so much more
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00:07:45,794 --> 00:07:47,361
workforce experience than Steve.
208
00:07:47,396 --> 00:07:49,463
Yeah, but Steve's
been here a month.
209
00:07:49,498 --> 00:07:51,899
So, Steve, here's
your huge key ring.
210
00:07:51,934 --> 00:07:55,236
Oh, boy, now I have access
to the teeth-whitening kits
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00:07:55,270 --> 00:07:57,939
and all liquor over $40!
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00:07:57,973 --> 00:07:59,540
Well, congratulations, Steve.
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00:07:59,575 --> 00:08:01,208
Thanks, Dad.
214
00:08:01,243 --> 00:08:02,844
Now go take the pieces
of dead onion skin
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00:08:02,878 --> 00:08:05,846
out of the shopping baskets.
216
00:08:05,881 --> 00:08:07,648
This totally blows.
217
00:08:07,683 --> 00:08:10,217
I worked for the CIA
for 20 years, you know.
218
00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:15,222
You really got to
put a sock in it, Stan!
219
00:08:22,971 --> 00:08:24,371
I don't like your tune.
220
00:08:24,406 --> 00:08:25,686
Now, when you're done with this,
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00:08:25,707 --> 00:08:27,141
I need you to go count
the tomatoes.
222
00:08:27,175 --> 00:08:29,043
Geez, why are you
being so bossy?
223
00:08:29,077 --> 00:08:30,544
'Cause I'm your boss.
224
00:08:30,579 --> 00:08:31,645
Not if I quit.
225
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:32,713
Yeah? You think
226
00:08:32,747 --> 00:08:34,215
your permanent record
looks bad now?
227
00:08:34,249 --> 00:08:35,416
Think how it'll look if you quit
228
00:08:35,450 --> 00:08:37,318
your only job in 20 years.
229
00:08:37,352 --> 00:08:38,452
Quit.
230
00:08:38,487 --> 00:08:39,653
In your dreams.
231
00:08:40,922 --> 00:08:43,390
Steve, they just
delivered the butter.
232
00:08:43,425 --> 00:08:44,859
One of your new responsibilities
233
00:08:44,893 --> 00:08:46,794
is to show the baggers
how to stock it.
234
00:08:46,828 --> 00:08:48,462
Yes, sir. I'm on it.
235
00:08:50,232 --> 00:08:52,333
So, we're right behind
the butter shelves.
236
00:08:53,502 --> 00:08:56,303
Whoa! How long has
this place been here?
237
00:08:56,338 --> 00:08:58,706
Get your jaw off
the floor and start stocking.
238
00:08:58,740 --> 00:09:00,740
And don't let the butter sit
on the ground too long
239
00:09:00,742 --> 00:09:02,843
because the fridges
put out some major heat.
240
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Got it?
241
00:09:06,615 --> 00:09:08,015
It won't fit.
242
00:09:08,049 --> 00:09:10,151
You got to take it
out of the crate, dummy.
243
00:09:10,185 --> 00:09:11,619
Then you make it fit.
244
00:09:11,653 --> 00:09:12,820
Lay the butter like bricks.
245
00:09:12,854 --> 00:09:14,155
With the labels facing out.
246
00:09:14,189 --> 00:09:15,156
Got it?
247
00:09:15,190 --> 00:09:17,191
Yeah, I got it.
248
00:09:26,902 --> 00:09:28,002
I earned a break.
249
00:09:28,036 --> 00:09:29,603
I'll be napping
in the blood pressure chair.
250
00:09:29,638 --> 00:09:30,838
What's this?
251
00:09:30,872 --> 00:09:32,673
Oh, sorry.
252
00:09:32,707 --> 00:09:35,109
No, start over and do it right.
253
00:09:41,149 --> 00:09:43,217
Oh, that poor,
mentally-disabled man.
254
00:09:43,251 --> 00:09:44,685
I'm not mentally disabled!
255
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:47,555
Well, you don't know
how to stack butter, so...
256
00:09:52,494 --> 00:09:54,495
Hey, your guitar DVD came.
257
00:09:56,231 --> 00:09:58,265
What the hell
are you talking about?
258
00:09:58,300 --> 00:10:01,102
You're battling that guy in
the coffee shop in two days.
259
00:10:01,136 --> 00:10:02,636
Oh, my God,
that's so important to me!
260
00:10:02,671 --> 00:10:04,672
Quick, put it in the DVD player!
261
00:10:06,174 --> 00:10:07,408
Just skip to the first lesson.
262
00:10:07,442 --> 00:10:08,709
I don't have a lot
of time to learn.
263
00:10:10,712 --> 00:10:12,613
Now it is your turn.
264
00:10:12,647 --> 00:10:14,248
Start with the G chord,
265
00:10:14,282 --> 00:10:16,617
which you finger like this.
266
00:10:16,651 --> 00:10:17,985
He's going too fast.
267
00:10:18,020 --> 00:10:19,720
I'll pause.
268
00:10:19,755 --> 00:10:21,022
I think I got it.
269
00:10:21,056 --> 00:10:22,556
Ready?
Yeah.
270
00:10:22,591 --> 00:10:24,625
Now strum.
271
00:10:26,762 --> 00:10:28,796
Aah! It's got me!
272
00:10:32,667 --> 00:10:35,603
Well, I guess this
is my hand now.
273
00:10:38,140 --> 00:10:39,974
I hate working at that store!
274
00:10:40,008 --> 00:10:41,742
Steve just bosses me around.
275
00:10:41,777 --> 00:10:43,844
The only good thing is
that the stock boys
276
00:10:43,879 --> 00:10:45,179
are teaching me Spanish,
277
00:10:45,213 --> 00:10:47,415
so that's pretty cállate gringo.
278
00:10:47,449 --> 00:10:49,083
Dad, why on Earth
did you make me
279
00:10:49,117 --> 00:10:51,619
take all of our spare light
bulbs out of their boxes?
280
00:10:51,653 --> 00:10:54,322
Stan, is this just
to get back at Steve
281
00:10:54,356 --> 00:10:56,123
for bossing you around
at the store?
282
00:10:56,158 --> 00:10:58,292
Are you accusing me of
being vindictive, Francine?
283
00:10:58,327 --> 00:11:00,094
Because I will destroy you!
284
00:11:00,128 --> 00:11:01,462
Besides, there's a reason
285
00:11:01,496 --> 00:11:03,831
I'm making him do
all these things.
286
00:11:03,865 --> 00:11:05,745
Now take off your shoes
and sweep up that glass.
287
00:11:05,767 --> 00:11:07,034
Take off my shoes?!
288
00:11:07,069 --> 00:11:08,135
Take 'em off.
289
00:11:08,170 --> 00:11:10,471
Oh, you're in for it
tomorrow, mister.
290
00:11:10,505 --> 00:11:12,473
The regional manager's
coming for our review
291
00:11:12,507 --> 00:11:14,475
and I'm gonna
be busting your ass all day.
292
00:11:14,509 --> 00:11:15,609
I'll just call in sick.
293
00:11:15,644 --> 00:11:16,877
I'll tell them you're faking.
294
00:11:16,912 --> 00:11:18,112
And you'll get fired.
295
00:11:18,146 --> 00:11:19,980
Then how will you
support your woman?
296
00:11:20,015 --> 00:11:22,483
How will you keep her
glowing in such finery?
297
00:11:28,357 --> 00:11:29,323
That's right.
298
00:11:29,358 --> 00:11:30,791
Now you're getting it!
299
00:11:30,826 --> 00:11:32,593
No, I'm not, and there's no way
300
00:11:32,628 --> 00:11:34,629
I'll learn by tomorrow!
301
00:11:35,831 --> 00:11:37,465
Not learning fast enough?
302
00:11:37,499 --> 00:11:38,466
What the hell?
303
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,467
How are you...
304
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,807
I am Lorenzo.
305
00:11:46,842 --> 00:11:48,876
AKA Old Scratch.
306
00:11:48,910 --> 00:11:52,079
I can offer you a shortcut
to guitar mastery,
307
00:11:52,114 --> 00:11:54,882
but it comes at an ironic price.
308
00:11:54,916 --> 00:11:56,484
Yeah, yeah, I'll pay any price.
309
00:11:56,518 --> 00:11:58,786
You realize I'm the Devil
and... and you're making
310
00:11:58,820 --> 00:12:00,254
what is called
a Faustian bargain, right?
311
00:12:00,289 --> 00:12:01,722
Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
Really?
312
00:12:01,757 --> 00:12:03,924
'Cause you don't sound
like you understand
313
00:12:03,959 --> 00:12:05,259
the gravity of the ironic price.
314
00:12:05,294 --> 00:12:06,460
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it's fine.
315
00:12:06,495 --> 00:12:07,595
I mean, I really have to crush
316
00:12:07,629 --> 00:12:08,796
this punk at the coffee shop.
317
00:12:08,830 --> 00:12:10,131
He's got this stupid
little goatee...
318
00:12:10,165 --> 00:12:11,432
Ah! Enough!
Enough.
319
00:12:11,466 --> 00:12:13,334
I'm sure your
reasons are terrific
320
00:12:13,368 --> 00:12:15,369
if you are willing
to pay with your soul.
321
00:12:17,706 --> 00:12:19,006
Wait, my soul?
322
00:12:19,041 --> 00:12:20,675
My Kia Soul?
323
00:12:20,709 --> 00:12:23,010
How am I supposed to get
to my shift at Dairy Queen?
324
00:12:24,379 --> 00:12:25,613
Stacey, it's Roger.
325
00:12:25,647 --> 00:12:27,715
Hey, can you cover my
3:00 to 7:00 tonight?
326
00:12:27,749 --> 00:12:29,584
Oh, my soul!
327
00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:31,385
Never mind.
328
00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:33,587
Hey, are you going
to Jake's party?
329
00:12:36,124 --> 00:12:37,692
Tom, I gotta say.
330
00:12:37,726 --> 00:12:39,260
You hit a solid double here.
331
00:12:39,294 --> 00:12:41,028
I'm just happy to get on base.
332
00:12:41,063 --> 00:12:43,464
I make the baseball
references...
333
00:12:43,498 --> 00:12:45,499
Oh. My. God.
334
00:12:45,534 --> 00:12:46,500
Holy moly.
335
00:12:46,535 --> 00:12:48,603
Stan, what's going on?
336
00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:50,571
There's butter melting
all over the place!
337
00:12:50,606 --> 00:12:52,173
Yeah, I, uh, I could only fit
338
00:12:52,207 --> 00:12:53,541
one crate on the shelf.
339
00:12:53,575 --> 00:12:55,776
The rest is by the
refrigeration exhaust.
340
00:12:55,811 --> 00:12:57,778
Steve, you were
supposed to show Stan
341
00:12:57,813 --> 00:12:59,113
how to stock the butter!
342
00:12:59,147 --> 00:13:00,615
Yeah, I sure could have used
343
00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:01,949
some supervision on that one.
344
00:13:01,984 --> 00:13:02,950
Wh-What?
345
00:13:02,985 --> 00:13:04,285
I-I showed you!
346
00:13:04,319 --> 00:13:05,686
Clearly not well enough.
347
00:13:05,721 --> 00:13:07,888
And I'm a sponge,
I was waiting for it.
348
00:13:07,923 --> 00:13:09,690
This is not good, Steve.
349
00:13:09,725 --> 00:13:12,393
It's just lucky no one got hurt.
350
00:13:12,427 --> 00:13:13,427
Joshua!
351
00:13:31,813 --> 00:13:32,847
I'm sorry, Steve,
352
00:13:32,881 --> 00:13:34,115
but I'm gonna have
to let you go.
353
00:13:34,149 --> 00:13:35,182
But...
No buts.
354
00:13:35,217 --> 00:13:37,218
Now let's have the apron.
355
00:13:41,490 --> 00:13:43,691
It's always hard
to see a young boy
356
00:13:43,725 --> 00:13:45,059
tarnish his permanent record.
357
00:13:45,093 --> 00:13:46,160
Hold on.
358
00:13:46,194 --> 00:13:47,595
This'll be on his
permanent record?
359
00:13:47,629 --> 00:13:48,696
Uh, yeah.
360
00:13:48,730 --> 00:13:50,164
He was assistant manager
361
00:13:50,198 --> 00:13:52,066
and he didn't show you
how to put the butter away.
362
00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:53,734
That's something every employer
363
00:13:53,769 --> 00:13:56,304
for the rest of his life
is gonna want to know.
364
00:13:56,338 --> 00:13:58,673
Yeah, if he can even find a job.
365
00:13:58,707 --> 00:14:00,174
Oh, God!
366
00:14:00,209 --> 00:14:01,283
What have I done?
367
00:14:08,749 --> 00:14:10,402
I showed him how
to stock the butter
368
00:14:10,436 --> 00:14:12,370
and he did it wrong on purpose.
369
00:14:12,405 --> 00:14:13,605
He got me fired!
370
00:14:13,639 --> 00:14:15,340
But he still has his job, right?
371
00:14:15,374 --> 00:14:17,075
I can keep my finery?
372
00:14:17,109 --> 00:14:18,343
You!
373
00:14:18,377 --> 00:14:20,645
You have a lot of nerve
showing your face here!
374
00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:22,180
You're right to be mad, Steve.
375
00:14:22,215 --> 00:14:23,748
And it's worse than you think.
376
00:14:23,783 --> 00:14:25,050
I got you fired...
377
00:14:25,084 --> 00:14:26,952
and now it's on your
permanent record.
378
00:14:26,986 --> 00:14:28,820
Good lord.
379
00:14:28,855 --> 00:14:30,288
My future...
380
00:14:30,323 --> 00:14:32,257
He's gonna be
ridin' the rails, Stan!
381
00:14:35,194 --> 00:14:37,028
It's come to our attention!
382
00:14:37,063 --> 00:14:38,997
That your son's run
out of options.
383
00:14:39,031 --> 00:14:40,365
The Army'll take him!
384
00:14:40,399 --> 00:14:42,400
Get out of here,
you damn vulture!
385
00:14:44,203 --> 00:14:45,904
Thank you for your service.
386
00:14:53,179 --> 00:14:55,180
Dad, what are we doing
at your old office?
387
00:14:55,214 --> 00:14:56,882
Well, the CIA was able to keep
388
00:14:56,916 --> 00:14:59,584
my 20 years with them
off my permanent record,
389
00:14:59,619 --> 00:15:01,086
so they must have
access to them.
390
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,288
Okay, but why'd
you drag me along?
391
00:15:03,322 --> 00:15:05,357
Well, I don't have
my badge anymore,
392
00:15:05,391 --> 00:15:07,025
so I need your help
getting into the building.
393
00:15:07,059 --> 00:15:08,760
And how am I
supposed to do that?
394
00:15:08,795 --> 00:15:09,861
Like this.
395
00:15:15,168 --> 00:15:16,701
Ow!
396
00:15:20,773 --> 00:15:22,674
Okay, I just have to log in
397
00:15:22,708 --> 00:15:25,010
and see how they access
the permanent records.
398
00:15:26,946 --> 00:15:29,281
Damn it, they already
deleted my password!
399
00:15:29,315 --> 00:15:31,049
Your password was one letter?
400
00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:33,285
Yeah, it's, like, super easy
to remember that way.
401
00:15:33,319 --> 00:15:35,487
Well, I guess
this was a dead end.
402
00:15:35,521 --> 00:15:36,588
Or...
403
00:15:36,622 --> 00:15:38,123
maybe we could go
to the basement,
404
00:15:38,157 --> 00:15:39,257
'cause that's where
405
00:15:39,292 --> 00:15:40,926
the Permanent Record
Department is.
406
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:43,595
This is Deputy Director Bullock
407
00:15:43,629 --> 00:15:46,431
reminding you that secrets
are meant to be kept.
408
00:15:46,466 --> 00:15:49,034
Now, back to the elevator music.
409
00:15:49,068 --> 00:15:50,969
♪ Friday night it was late ♪
410
00:15:51,003 --> 00:15:52,404
♪ I was walking you home ♪
411
00:15:52,438 --> 00:15:54,272
♪ We got down to the gate ♪
412
00:15:54,307 --> 00:15:57,309
♪ And I was dreaming
of the night... ♪
413
00:16:00,146 --> 00:16:01,880
It's a permanent record!
414
00:16:01,914 --> 00:16:05,350
"Martin McGowan pretended
to pick up his dog's poop,
415
00:16:05,384 --> 00:16:07,786
but just grabbed at the air
and kept walking."
416
00:16:07,820 --> 00:16:08,787
Wow.
417
00:16:08,821 --> 00:16:10,021
They are on top of stuff.
418
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:11,823
Come on, let's find yours.
419
00:16:15,661 --> 00:16:17,662
Here it is.
420
00:16:18,664 --> 00:16:20,232
"Fired from grocery store
421
00:16:20,266 --> 00:16:21,967
for incompetent management."
422
00:16:22,001 --> 00:16:24,136
Don't worry, we'll fix that.
423
00:16:28,875 --> 00:16:31,977
"And it was totally not
Steve's fault."
424
00:16:32,011 --> 00:16:32,978
There.
425
00:16:33,012 --> 00:16:34,646
Now, to spice it up.
426
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,815
"Steve Smith lost his virginity
427
00:16:36,849 --> 00:16:39,117
"after a romantic candlelight
dinner on the beach.
428
00:16:39,152 --> 00:16:41,153
"He suggested
taking things slow,
429
00:16:41,187 --> 00:16:42,954
"but she was voracious,
430
00:16:42,989 --> 00:16:45,123
"with an unquenchable
sex-thirst.
431
00:16:45,158 --> 00:16:46,992
And he did a good job."
432
00:16:47,026 --> 00:16:48,360
Solid.
433
00:16:48,394 --> 00:16:49,995
- Now, let's get outta here.
- Freeze!
434
00:16:51,564 --> 00:16:53,131
Sir, we were just
trying to repair
435
00:16:53,166 --> 00:16:54,466
Steve's permanent record.
436
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:55,834
He shouldn't be burdened
437
00:16:55,868 --> 00:16:57,628
for the rest of his life
for something I did.
438
00:16:57,637 --> 00:16:59,304
Well, that's the system.
439
00:16:59,338 --> 00:17:01,206
And when I send this downstairs,
440
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,709
you'll be a virgin again,
Master Smith.
441
00:17:03,743 --> 00:17:06,044
You're in charge of
the permanent records?
442
00:17:06,079 --> 00:17:07,879
I play many roles here.
443
00:17:07,914 --> 00:17:10,882
I also design
the company softball shirts.
444
00:17:12,985 --> 00:17:15,120
It came to me in a dream.
445
00:17:15,154 --> 00:17:18,123
Daddy, the bombs came.
446
00:17:18,157 --> 00:17:20,225
It's C-4,
Gary,
447
00:17:20,259 --> 00:17:21,626
and I am not your father.
448
00:17:21,661 --> 00:17:23,161
What about the detonators?
449
00:17:23,196 --> 00:17:24,529
They came, too.
450
00:17:24,564 --> 00:17:27,132
I put them in the bombs
so Gary wouldn't lose them.
451
00:17:27,166 --> 00:17:29,134
Did you set the timer on these?!
452
00:17:29,168 --> 00:17:31,036
Uh-huh, Gary
making oatmeal.
453
00:17:31,070 --> 00:17:33,505
Almost ready.
454
00:17:33,539 --> 00:17:35,841
Good God, you're gonna
blow up this office!
455
00:17:35,875 --> 00:17:39,044
We've got to get
this C-4 out of here!
456
00:17:39,078 --> 00:17:40,545
Uh-oh!
457
00:17:42,715 --> 00:17:44,049
Steve, throw me more bricks.
458
00:17:44,083 --> 00:17:45,417
It's just like the butter!
459
00:17:45,451 --> 00:17:47,819
Oh, yeah!
460
00:17:49,422 --> 00:17:50,389
Go, Dad!
461
00:17:59,565 --> 00:18:00,532
Yay!
462
00:18:00,566 --> 00:18:01,933
Oatmeal time!
463
00:18:01,968 --> 00:18:03,268
Gary, you're fired!
464
00:18:03,302 --> 00:18:05,504
Stan, you got your job back.
465
00:18:05,538 --> 00:18:07,673
Thank you for saving
our lives, Smith.
466
00:18:07,707 --> 00:18:09,341
Well, actually, you
should be thanking Steve.
467
00:18:09,375 --> 00:18:12,010
I was only able to
stack the C-4 so fast
468
00:18:12,045 --> 00:18:13,478
because Steve was so hard on me
469
00:18:13,513 --> 00:18:14,479
at the grocery store.
470
00:18:14,514 --> 00:18:16,081
Oh. Well-well,
I just did that
471
00:18:16,115 --> 00:18:18,283
because you were such
a jerk to me at home.
472
00:18:18,318 --> 00:18:20,285
I'm not trying to
be a jerk, Steve.
473
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,788
I'm trying to save you from
a life of ridin' the rails.
474
00:18:22,822 --> 00:18:24,890
Dad, that's just an expression.
475
00:18:24,924 --> 00:18:26,591
Tell that to Tony Lura.
476
00:18:26,626 --> 00:18:28,327
He half-assed
it all summer
477
00:18:28,361 --> 00:18:29,661
on the grill at White Castle.
478
00:18:29,696 --> 00:18:31,797
A lot of people got
really sick, actually.
479
00:18:31,831 --> 00:18:33,298
Then he just disappeared.
480
00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:34,800
Last anyone saw of him,
481
00:18:34,834 --> 00:18:36,401
he was hoppin' the
Union Pacific Line
482
00:18:36,436 --> 00:18:38,236
with all of his
possessions in a sock.
483
00:18:38,271 --> 00:18:39,538
Oh.
484
00:18:39,572 --> 00:18:41,840
Well, thanks for
looking out for me, Dad.
485
00:18:41,874 --> 00:18:44,276
I sure wouldn't want
to end up like Tony Lura.
486
00:18:44,310 --> 00:18:45,911
No, you wouldn't, son.
487
00:18:45,945 --> 00:18:47,779
And, son, that's why
488
00:18:47,814 --> 00:18:49,781
you don't want to end up
like Stan Smith,
489
00:18:49,816 --> 00:18:52,818
the White Castle employee
who did everything right.
490
00:18:52,852 --> 00:18:54,052
'Cause what did it get him?
491
00:18:54,087 --> 00:18:56,555
A government job
fighting for so-called freedom
492
00:18:56,589 --> 00:18:58,824
from the confines of a cubicle.
493
00:18:58,858 --> 00:19:01,293
Well, this is my cubicle!
494
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:06,098
And this is real freedom!
495
00:19:06,132 --> 00:19:07,766
You understand, son?
496
00:19:09,535 --> 00:19:10,669
Yep.
497
00:19:10,703 --> 00:19:14,339
The world is our oyster!
498
00:19:24,150 --> 00:19:27,386
They're
clapping 'cause it's over.
499
00:20:00,253 --> 00:20:02,254
♪ ♪
500
00:20:29,849 --> 00:20:31,516
You get the drift, I win.
501
00:20:33,219 --> 00:20:36,255
Listen, buddy, you clearly won,
but I really need this gig.
502
00:20:36,289 --> 00:20:38,390
I tell you what-- you
seem like a nice guy.
503
00:20:38,424 --> 00:20:40,092
What if I let you
keep playing here
504
00:20:40,126 --> 00:20:42,094
and you just cover
the price of my lessons?
505
00:20:42,128 --> 00:20:43,729
That'd be amazing!
506
00:20:43,763 --> 00:20:45,497
Then it's a deal.
507
00:20:48,324 --> 00:20:54,293
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com