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00:00:02,844 --> 00:00:04,562
(upbeat march plays)
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00:00:04,596 --> 00:00:07,031
♪ Good morning, USA!
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00:00:07,065 --> 00:00:10,935
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
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00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:13,921
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
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♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
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♪ Good...
♪ Good morning, USA
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Aah!
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
BehroozException@USA.com
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00:00:35,376 --> 00:00:38,045
According to my measurements,
11
00:00:38,063 --> 00:00:40,631
it's super cold out here.
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What did you find?
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I don't know,
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but I'm filled with
professional curiosity.
15
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(chuckles) You've been that way
ever since science school.
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God, I wonder what it is.
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God, quit it, Francine.
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Don't spray that crap near me;
it's poison.
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00:01:04,339 --> 00:01:05,773
But it's lemon scented.
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It's got vitamin-C.
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Let me explain something
to you, babe.
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This body is a temple.
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No, better than that:
it's a church.
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I keep this baby
in pristine condition,
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00:01:14,649 --> 00:01:16,116
like a classic car.
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I thought it was a church.
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Vroom-vroom. Vroom-vroom.
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This is a 1968
American-made man.
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Top of the line.
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Gorgeous, ain't he?
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All original parts.
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I even still have my baby teeth.
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(baby cooing)
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Oh, mein Gott!
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Speaking of bodies,
they found mine!
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Your old human body?
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I've been waiting
for this news for years.
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You see, I used to be
an Olympic...
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Hold on, Klaus.
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I'm recalling how Klaus
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00:01:45,597 --> 00:01:49,633
was an Olympic skier for
East Germany in the '80s.
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Oh, yeah.
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I'm recalling
how the CIA kidnapped him
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and switched his mind
with a goldfish.
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I was about to unveil
a new ski jump technique:
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Da Flippity Flop.
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Twice the distance,
four times the risk.
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I showed it to a ski buddy,
who tried it himself.
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(crowd gasps)
50
00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:30,074
Hey... hey, it says here
51
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,643
the CIA has taken custody
of my body.
52
00:02:32,677 --> 00:02:34,578
I want to ski jump again.
53
00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:36,280
Soaring through the air,
54
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I've never been so happy,
so alive.
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Stan, please put me back
in my body!
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00:02:42,187 --> 00:02:43,654
Nah, sounds like a hassle.
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A hassle?!
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But this is my chance
to be myself again.
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00:02:47,525 --> 00:02:50,427
Stan, come on, let Klaus
have his body back.
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00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:51,795
What for?
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00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:53,230
You've got it made in that bowl.
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All you have to do is
float around all day,
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eat and poo wherever you want.
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00:02:56,835 --> 00:03:00,253
Your whole life is like the last
20 years of Orson Welles' life.
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You suck, Stan!
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I'd rather be dead than live
like a goldfish anymore!
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00:03:05,944 --> 00:03:07,945
Someone hand me
that DustBuster.
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(gasps)
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This thing is never charged.
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(Klaus sobbing)
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Auf wiedersehen,
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cruelich-wurldenplace.
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Hey, Klaus!
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What up?
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00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:39,910
Roger, what the hell is...
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00:03:39,944 --> 00:03:42,363
Holy cow, you really do have
a gym up here.
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00:03:42,397 --> 00:03:43,847
Hey, guy.
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00:03:43,882 --> 00:03:45,249
Interested in signing up
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00:03:45,283 --> 00:03:47,384
for a trial membership,
Mr. Potential?
80
00:03:47,419 --> 00:03:49,136
No, I don't want
a gym membership.
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Dude, everyone needs a place
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to get their sweat on,
am I right?
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(laughs)
You know it.
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00:03:54,309 --> 00:03:56,210
Not to mention the ladies.
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Look at those
bouncin' boobers, my man.
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My man, they are lovin' you.
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00:04:00,965 --> 00:04:03,967
So, what would you consider to
be your long-term workout goals?
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I've literally never thought
about that in my entire life.
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Great answer. Perfect.
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Man, I can see you here.
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00:04:09,340 --> 00:04:11,258
So what do you think,
sign up for a two year?
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00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:13,694
Uh, I-I don't know.
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I'll think about it.
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Of course, yeah, look,
I'm not a hard sell guy.
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I'm a Christian.
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Sign up, don't sign up,
doesn't matter to me.
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I just want to make sure
you have every opportunity
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to look and feel good.
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Uh, okay.
100
00:04:25,273 --> 00:04:26,356
Think it over.
101
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,991
Health is wealth.
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Hey, can you spot me?
How much?
103
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I don't know, like 40.
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(sighs)
105
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Are you using again, Carl?
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(sadly):
Yes.
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All right, well,
there's extra in there.
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Get me some, too.
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00:04:42,624 --> 00:04:44,858
Just help Klaus
get his body, Stan.
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00:04:44,893 --> 00:04:46,760
I don't want to hear
it anymore, Francine.
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00:04:46,795 --> 00:04:48,395
The only thing I want
to hear right now
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00:04:48,430 --> 00:04:51,432
is the sweet sound of this
Nickelback CD cracking
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as I drive over it repeatedly.
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(mechanical whirring, gasps)
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(groans)
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Stan, Klaus has been trying
to kill himself for over a week.
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Please, just put him back
in his body.
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Fine.
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You mean it? Really?
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(laughs)
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(grunts, groans)
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You guys, come back!
123
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Now I want to live!
124
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This is like something out
of that Alanis Morissette song.
125
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:27,701
You know, the one with the video
where she looks
126
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even more slightly
above average than usual.
127
00:05:33,574 --> 00:05:35,626
(high-pitched giggling)
128
00:05:35,677 --> 00:05:37,711
Will you shut up?
We're not supposed to be here.
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Sorry, I'm just excited.
130
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(dance music playing)
131
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Hey, um, what's going on?
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I sent Weitzman
out for burritos
133
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and he came back
with tacos instead.
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(chuckles)
135
00:05:53,962 --> 00:05:55,562
Cool.
136
00:05:55,597 --> 00:05:58,232
Hey, I need that Klaus Heisler
body that came in last week.
137
00:05:58,266 --> 00:06:00,267
Oh, sure thing.
It's right here.
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(gags)
139
00:06:04,138 --> 00:06:05,939
Uh, what happened
to all the ice?
140
00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:08,342
Yeah, we needed it
for margaritas.
141
00:06:09,711 --> 00:06:10,928
Yech...
142
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(whispering): We're getting these
girls drunk so we can kiss them.
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This is all your fault.
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00:06:18,786 --> 00:06:21,421
If you had just taken me here
last week when I asked you,
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I'd be in my body,
but now it's ruined.
146
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,527
I'll never ski jump again.
147
00:06:26,561 --> 00:06:28,512
You completely boned me.
148
00:06:28,546 --> 00:06:31,431
Well, usually you de-bone fish,
so I did good, huh?
149
00:06:31,465 --> 00:06:33,016
(laughs)
150
00:06:37,822 --> 00:06:39,356
KLAUS:
Stan, are you okay?
151
00:06:39,390 --> 00:06:40,858
You have to wake up.
152
00:06:40,892 --> 00:06:42,125
We have to go.
153
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:46,663
Guten morgen, fish face.
154
00:06:47,665 --> 00:06:50,133
Klaus, you son of a bitch!
155
00:06:50,168 --> 00:06:51,249
You switch us back right...
156
00:06:51,252 --> 00:06:52,419
(grunts)
157
00:06:52,453 --> 00:06:54,087
Oh, God, oh, my God,
I just pooped.
158
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,740
Does it just float here?
159
00:06:56,774 --> 00:06:59,860
Why is my mind telling me
to eat it?
160
00:07:03,832 --> 00:07:05,332
(brakes squeak)
161
00:07:05,367 --> 00:07:08,096
You have not stopped picking
your nose since we left the CIA.
162
00:07:08,211 --> 00:07:11,914
I know, it just feels so good
to have a nose to pick.
163
00:07:11,948 --> 00:07:14,517
And you left me
so much to dig out.
164
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Nasty.
165
00:07:15,735 --> 00:07:17,419
You know you'll never
get away with this.
166
00:07:17,454 --> 00:07:18,921
Oh, yes, I will.
167
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I'm going to enjoy life
once again as a human,
168
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:26,212
and I am going to enjoy
watching you live as a fish.
169
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,981
Francine and the kids are
never gonna believe you're me.
170
00:07:28,999 --> 00:07:31,934
Oh, I've been watching
you for many years, Stan.
171
00:07:31,968 --> 00:07:35,204
I'm sure I can fool
them for quite a while.
172
00:07:35,238 --> 00:07:37,256
(in American accent):
Hey, I'm Stan Smith.
173
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,792
I love America, and we're
number one no matter what.
174
00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:42,811
(gunshots)
Woo-hoo! Yipee!
175
00:07:42,846 --> 00:07:45,497
Okay, I admit
it's a pretty good impression.
176
00:07:45,515 --> 00:07:47,750
But once I start talking,
they're gonna know...
177
00:07:49,653 --> 00:07:50,519
Hey, Stan.
178
00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:52,154
Hey.
179
00:07:52,189 --> 00:07:53,923
Oh, my God,
Klaus is in Dad's body.
180
00:07:53,957 --> 00:07:55,507
What? No, I'm Stan.
181
00:07:55,525 --> 00:07:57,560
Woo-hoo! Yipee!
182
00:07:57,594 --> 00:07:59,361
Klaus, what did you do?
183
00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,564
Where's Stan?
184
00:08:02,599 --> 00:08:04,333
Oh, my God.
185
00:08:04,367 --> 00:08:05,701
Listen, I'm sure
you're pissed...
186
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:06,969
Pissed?
187
00:08:07,003 --> 00:08:08,304
You're in my husband's body,
188
00:08:08,338 --> 00:08:10,673
and he's in the body
of a goldfish.
189
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,825
(laughing):
That's hilarious.
190
00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:14,693
Totally.
(snorts)
191
00:08:15,795 --> 00:08:18,631
Stan, I know this
may be hard to hear,
192
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,799
but you've been a jerk
to Klaus forever.
193
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,401
You had this coming.
194
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:23,636
Like hell I did.
195
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,170
And how dare you
betray me like...
196
00:08:26,706 --> 00:08:29,074
Sheesh, if it were only
that easy to shut him up
197
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:30,509
after seeing The Help.
198
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:33,012
I get it, Stan,
you want a black maid.
199
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:36,081
Wait, Klaus, why didn't
you just switch into your body?
200
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:38,550
'Cause your idiot father
let it sit and rot.
201
00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:40,719
Now it's all gross
and decomposed.
202
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:43,689
It looks like Cameron Diaz
without her Cameron Diaz mask.
203
00:08:43,723 --> 00:08:45,491
So when are you gonna
switch back?
204
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,443
You obviously can't
stay like that.
205
00:08:47,477 --> 00:08:48,961
Of course, of course.
206
00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:51,230
I just want a couple of
days to enjoy the things
207
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:53,165
I haven't been able
to do in a while.
208
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,733
(gasps)
Maybe I'll go swimming.
209
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:58,687
Well, okay, just a couple days.
210
00:08:58,722 --> 00:09:02,625
Don't worry, you'll have
your Stan back soon.
211
00:09:04,027 --> 00:09:07,246
You're never getting
your body back.
212
00:09:08,265 --> 00:09:11,317
Ever.
213
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:14,219
(sighs)
Oh, my stars, what a day.
214
00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:18,590
(beep)
215
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:19,959
ELECTRONIC VOICE:
You have new messages.
216
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,977
When did I get
an answering machine?
217
00:09:22,012 --> 00:09:23,279
ROGER:
Hey, Steve, how's it going?
218
00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:24,713
It's Roger over at Roger's Gym.
219
00:09:24,748 --> 00:09:26,268
Just wanted to follow up
on your visit.
220
00:09:26,283 --> 00:09:27,983
Give me a shout when you can.
No presh.
221
00:09:28,018 --> 00:09:29,151
Hope you're well, man.
222
00:09:29,185 --> 00:09:30,486
(beep)
Steve-o!
223
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:31,754
Steve, Roger, Roger's Gym.
224
00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:33,188
Hey, I was talking
to my manager.
225
00:09:33,223 --> 00:09:35,257
Incredible deal just popped up,
thought of you.
226
00:09:35,292 --> 00:09:36,725
Holla at you, boy!
227
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:37,893
Call immediately.
228
00:09:37,927 --> 00:09:40,229
(beep)
Steve! It's Rowdy Roddy Piper.
229
00:09:40,263 --> 00:09:41,730
No, I'm just kidding--
it's Roger.
230
00:09:41,765 --> 00:09:44,133
I'm just on a smoothie run,
wanted to see what you wanted.
231
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,534
I'll just grab you
the protein power blend.
232
00:09:45,568 --> 00:09:47,102
Meet you up at the gym
in about 15.
233
00:09:47,137 --> 00:09:48,637
We'll get the sign-up
out of the way.
234
00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:49,972
(horn honking, crashing)
235
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:51,573
Aah! You clipped me, bro!
236
00:09:51,608 --> 00:09:53,475
Make that 20, bud,
I got clipped.
237
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:54,710
I'm okay.
Not everybody's okay.
238
00:09:54,744 --> 00:09:56,412
Actually if you could get
the smoothies,
239
00:09:56,446 --> 00:09:58,681
that'd be a big help,
and grab me a bagel, would you?
240
00:09:58,715 --> 00:09:59,648
You clipped me, chief!
241
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,116
(beep)
Hey, Steve.
242
00:10:01,151 --> 00:10:02,318
Hey, I'm at the courthouse.
243
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:03,585
I'm not supposed
to have my phone.
244
00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:05,154
Three people died
in that accident.
245
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:06,855
They're saying it's my fault,
but it's total crap.
246
00:10:06,890 --> 00:10:08,791
Anyway, listen, if you could
just stop by the courthouse,
247
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:11,327
drop off those smoothies,
we could knock out that sign-up.
248
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,795
I got the forms with me.
249
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:14,930
My manager said he'd throw
in a couple Pilates classes.
250
00:10:14,964 --> 00:10:16,198
I've never seen him do that.
251
00:10:16,232 --> 00:10:17,533
MAN:
Hey, get off the phone!
252
00:10:17,567 --> 00:10:18,834
ROGER:
What'd you say to me?
253
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,336
(beep)
Steve, it's Snot!
254
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,637
Turn on the news, dude.
255
00:10:21,671 --> 00:10:23,672
Someone's going berserk
at the courthouse,
256
00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:25,107
shooting everybody up!
257
00:10:25,141 --> 00:10:27,776
(beep) Steve, it's Rog,
Rog the Dodge Charger.
258
00:10:27,811 --> 00:10:28,944
I'm back at the gym.
259
00:10:28,978 --> 00:10:30,446
Listen, my manager
is freaking out
260
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:31,847
about this deal
I'm offering you.
261
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,349
I can hold him off
for a couple few. Call me.
262
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:34,350
(beep)
Steve!
263
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:35,384
(beep)
Steve-o!
264
00:10:35,418 --> 00:10:36,719
(beep)
S-man!
265
00:10:36,753 --> 00:10:37,920
(beep)
Stefan Urkel!
266
00:10:37,954 --> 00:10:39,054
(beep)
Even Steven!
267
00:10:39,089 --> 00:10:40,289
(beep)
Steve it to Stever!
268
00:10:40,323 --> 00:10:42,057
(beep) Steven, pick
up the (bleep) phone!
269
00:10:42,092 --> 00:10:43,659
(beep)
Hi, calling for Steven Smith?
270
00:10:43,693 --> 00:10:44,660
(beep) (high-pitched):
Hello, Steve,
271
00:10:44,694 --> 00:10:46,528
this is the girl that you like.
272
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:51,667
No, Klaus, you bastard, stop!
273
00:10:51,701 --> 00:10:54,403
Don't you dare smoke that
with my pretty pink lungs.
274
00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:03,779
I like holding the smoke
in my lungs
275
00:11:03,813 --> 00:11:07,015
until it's completely absorbed
into the cells.
276
00:11:07,050 --> 00:11:08,183
Stop that right now.
277
00:11:08,218 --> 00:11:09,685
I forbid you to damage my body.
278
00:11:09,719 --> 00:11:12,838
It's not your body anymore.
279
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:14,239
It's mine.
280
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,258
And I'll do what I want with it.
281
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:22,531
(shudders)
282
00:11:22,565 --> 00:11:24,266
Stop doing that to my body!
283
00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:25,701
What about my body, Stan?
284
00:11:25,735 --> 00:11:28,704
I finally had a chance to get
it back, and you let it rot.
285
00:11:28,738 --> 00:11:30,873
You think smoking is bad?
286
00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:34,893
Let's really take this
body out for a test drive.
287
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:37,913
♪
288
00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:12,097
♪
289
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,917
Push it, Carl,
you weak piece of ass! Go!
290
00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:33,385
Oh, I hate you so much.
291
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,459
Lift it or I'll plunge my fist
into your sister's...
292
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,156
There you go. Good job.
293
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,491
All right, rest up;
we'll do it again in a minute.
294
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:40,559
Hey, what up, bro?
295
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,227
Look, Roger, you got
to stop calling me.
296
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,362
I'm not joining your gym.
297
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:44,563
What?
298
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:45,998
Look, buddy,
I'm not gonna lie to you.
299
00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:47,432
Things are not going well
for me.
300
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,568
Wife's leaving me,
got lawyer bills stacked up,
301
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:50,969
nobody's re-racking
their weights.
302
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,771
I need this, Steve, real bad.
303
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:54,706
Okay, I am ready to go again.
304
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:55,941
Not now, Carl!
305
00:12:55,975 --> 00:12:57,209
That's Carl, great guy.
306
00:12:57,243 --> 00:12:58,443
Knows a ton about old buildings.
307
00:12:58,478 --> 00:12:59,678
So what do you say, boss?
308
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:02,281
(sighs)
I'll try a month.
309
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:03,515
Great, let's get started.
310
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:05,367
Medicine ball.
311
00:13:05,401 --> 00:13:07,436
(groans)
312
00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:09,371
Yeah, feel that burn.
313
00:13:12,909 --> 00:13:14,476
Good morning, ladies.
314
00:13:14,511 --> 00:13:16,144
Oh, what a night.
315
00:13:16,179 --> 00:13:18,263
We had such fun.
316
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,199
Get away from me!
317
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:22,201
He violated my body.
318
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:25,571
He... I did...
horrible things.
319
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:28,173
I lost several
virginities last night.
320
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:29,908
Oh, come on, Stan.
321
00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:31,810
Your body looks fine.
322
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:34,413
He abused me.
323
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:36,348
He did drugs, he had sex,
324
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:38,417
he paid a woman to pee
on my body.
325
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,252
Oh, oh, he beat up a cop,
326
00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:42,254
and then somehow,
he paid off the cop,
327
00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:43,755
and then he peed on me, too.
328
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:45,424
Wait, who peed on you?
329
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,526
Everyone!
Oh, Stan's full of it.
330
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,595
He just wants to get
out of being a fish.
331
00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:51,547
As you can see,
everything's fine.
332
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:53,999
Liar! Look at
the tattoo he got.
333
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,835
See?
334
00:13:56,869 --> 00:13:58,804
Are those elephant tusks?
335
00:13:58,838 --> 00:13:59,972
Yeah.
336
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,007
See, Stan, I told you
people would get it.
337
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:04,443
Klaus, what have you done
to his body?
338
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:06,511
It's not his body
anymore, Franny.
339
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:07,896
It's mine.
340
00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:08,764
But you said...
341
00:14:08,798 --> 00:14:10,299
I know what I said.
342
00:14:10,333 --> 00:14:12,701
I fibbed.
343
00:14:12,735 --> 00:14:13,769
(gasps)
344
00:14:13,803 --> 00:14:15,553
Give my dad his body back.
345
00:14:15,572 --> 00:14:16,738
Punch in the face.
346
00:14:17,540 --> 00:14:19,775
Stay back!
(gasps)
347
00:14:19,809 --> 00:14:21,376
Well, since the jig is up,
348
00:14:21,411 --> 00:14:23,845
I'm gonna do the one thing
I was destined to do...
349
00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:27,282
break the world ski jump
record with Da Flippity Flop.
350
00:14:27,317 --> 00:14:30,185
Oh, God, that move is suicide.
351
00:14:30,219 --> 00:14:33,288
I can't end up being just
another decapitation on YouTube
352
00:14:33,323 --> 00:14:34,957
for the Arabs to spank it to.
353
00:14:34,991 --> 00:14:36,425
Let's go stop him!
354
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:37,926
Hey!
355
00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:39,962
Damn it, I can't do anything
as a fish.
356
00:14:42,265 --> 00:14:46,201
Dad, are you sure you don't
want to wait for another body?
357
00:14:46,235 --> 00:14:47,336
There aren't any others.
358
00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:49,154
Now, let's go get my body back.
359
00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:55,036
Stan, I don't think
we have time for this.
360
00:14:55,824 --> 00:14:57,629
Do we?
361
00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:06,537
Stan, I know we have
to stop Klaus,
362
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,663
but can't we roll down
the windows?
363
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:10,095
Or turn off
the air conditioning?
364
00:15:10,138 --> 00:15:12,240
No, I need it as cold
as possible in here
365
00:15:12,301 --> 00:15:14,068
so I don't decompose
any further.
366
00:15:14,103 --> 00:15:16,271
But Klaus's body smells so bad.
367
00:15:16,305 --> 00:15:17,855
I can't take it.
368
00:15:17,906 --> 00:15:19,691
(sniffs)
369
00:15:19,742 --> 00:15:21,309
Oh, that's better.
370
00:15:21,327 --> 00:15:22,977
I just farted.
371
00:15:22,995 --> 00:15:24,445
Hayley, fart;
it helps.
372
00:15:24,479 --> 00:15:26,247
Here, I'll point
the fan more to me.
373
00:15:26,265 --> 00:15:27,548
Happy?
374
00:15:27,582 --> 00:15:28,916
Yeah, thank...
375
00:15:28,934 --> 00:15:30,885
(choking, gagging)
376
00:15:32,721 --> 00:15:34,689
(vomiting)
377
00:15:34,723 --> 00:15:37,058
How do you even know
where Klaus is going?
378
00:15:37,092 --> 00:15:39,060
Well, there's only
one ski area around
379
00:15:39,094 --> 00:15:40,979
that has one of
those giant ski jumps.
380
00:15:41,030 --> 00:15:42,263
Jump City.
381
00:15:42,281 --> 00:15:43,264
You've seen the commercials.
382
00:15:43,299 --> 00:15:46,584
(rock music playing)
383
00:15:46,619 --> 00:15:49,554
Jump City!
384
00:15:49,588 --> 00:15:51,656
No, I don't think so.
385
00:15:51,707 --> 00:15:53,708
Jump City!
386
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,028
Whatever, that's
where we're going.
387
00:16:00,833 --> 00:16:02,900
Do you see Klaus anywhere?
388
00:16:02,935 --> 00:16:05,053
Oh, my God, look at that jump.
389
00:16:07,156 --> 00:16:08,856
There he is!
390
00:16:16,865 --> 00:16:18,716
Ahh, this line blows.
391
00:16:18,751 --> 00:16:20,218
Hey, let's go up as singles.
392
00:16:20,252 --> 00:16:23,821
No way, I always end up sitting
next to some total weirdo.
393
00:16:23,856 --> 00:16:26,658
Come on, I swear,
you'll meet someone cool.
394
00:16:26,692 --> 00:16:28,693
(sighs)
All right.
395
00:16:35,417 --> 00:16:36,951
Guten tag!
396
00:16:36,985 --> 00:16:39,087
I'm going skiing.
397
00:16:39,121 --> 00:16:41,305
(sighs)
398
00:16:43,325 --> 00:16:45,593
Hi, guys, sorry about that.
399
00:16:45,627 --> 00:16:47,095
Hey, Klaus, it's me!
400
00:16:47,129 --> 00:16:48,579
Don't do the jump.
401
00:16:48,614 --> 00:16:50,548
Oh, God, he's in my old body.
402
00:16:50,599 --> 00:16:51,933
Piss off, Stan!
403
00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:53,434
I'm doing this!
404
00:16:53,469 --> 00:16:55,520
What are you looking at?
405
00:16:55,554 --> 00:16:56,938
That guy has my body.
406
00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:58,389
See, this is his old body.
407
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,024
Then the CIA made him a fish,
408
00:17:00,059 --> 00:17:03,311
and then he stole my body.
409
00:17:03,345 --> 00:17:05,513
You were right, man!
410
00:17:05,531 --> 00:17:07,615
Sorry.
411
00:17:13,522 --> 00:17:15,373
You know,
I was reluctant at first,
412
00:17:15,407 --> 00:17:17,075
but I'm actually kind
of excited,
413
00:17:17,126 --> 00:17:19,243
excited about building
a better Steve.
414
00:17:19,294 --> 00:17:21,095
And it couldn't be
more convenient.
415
00:17:21,130 --> 00:17:23,214
Well, I'm almost there,
so I should hop.
416
00:17:23,248 --> 00:17:25,149
No cell phones allowed
in the gym.
417
00:17:25,184 --> 00:17:27,418
Thanks for not hanging up
when I dialed you by accident,
418
00:17:27,453 --> 00:17:29,287
Dame Judi Dench.
419
00:17:29,321 --> 00:17:31,339
(dial tone)
420
00:17:37,329 --> 00:17:39,213
Where you been?
You so late.
421
00:17:39,248 --> 00:17:41,082
You take "bicyc-quow,"
make delivery.
422
00:17:41,116 --> 00:17:42,216
What are you talking about?
423
00:17:42,251 --> 00:17:43,451
Bicyc-quow.
424
00:17:43,485 --> 00:17:44,685
What happened to the gym?
425
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,288
Oh, Chinese restaurant
much more profitable.
426
00:17:47,322 --> 00:17:49,040
But I paid
for a month membership.
427
00:17:49,074 --> 00:17:50,775
I want my money back.
428
00:17:50,809 --> 00:17:52,076
Oh, so sorry.
429
00:17:52,111 --> 00:17:53,978
You don't read fine print
on contract.
430
00:17:54,012 --> 00:17:56,697
"In event gym turn
to Chinese restaurant,
431
00:17:56,732 --> 00:17:58,800
you bicyc-quow delivery boy."
432
00:17:58,834 --> 00:18:01,369
I'm not delivering
your Chinese food on a bicycle.
433
00:18:01,403 --> 00:18:03,037
A what?
A bicycle.
434
00:18:04,006 --> 00:18:06,240
A bicyc-quow.
435
00:18:06,275 --> 00:18:08,209
You ride bicyc-quow!
(sighs)
436
00:18:15,851 --> 00:18:17,151
(rock music playing)
437
00:18:19,571 --> 00:18:20,638
Klaus, stop!
438
00:18:20,689 --> 00:18:22,023
No way, Stan.
439
00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:23,858
I'm never going back
in that bowl.
440
00:18:23,892 --> 00:18:25,259
But you could kill yourself.
441
00:18:25,277 --> 00:18:26,260
In my body.
442
00:18:26,278 --> 00:18:28,045
And what a way to go!
443
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:31,149
The speed,
the wind in your face,
444
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,366
and the flying.
445
00:18:32,401 --> 00:18:34,268
(laughing):
Oh, the flying.
446
00:18:34,286 --> 00:18:36,771
There's nothing else like it
in the world.
447
00:18:44,580 --> 00:18:46,714
Don't even try it, Klaus.
448
00:18:48,783 --> 00:18:50,718
Enough!
449
00:18:50,752 --> 00:18:52,253
(both screaming)
450
00:18:54,256 --> 00:18:55,690
My leg is broken!
451
00:18:55,724 --> 00:18:57,859
Whoo-hoo!
Yeah! Whoo!
452
00:19:03,899 --> 00:19:05,183
(screaming)
453
00:19:09,071 --> 00:19:10,688
Stan, you can make it!
454
00:19:10,722 --> 00:19:12,089
Listen to my body.
455
00:19:12,124 --> 00:19:14,058
It knows what to do.
456
00:19:19,281 --> 00:19:21,582
I'm... doing it.
457
00:19:21,617 --> 00:19:23,618
Whoa, whoa, what's going on?
458
00:19:25,270 --> 00:19:26,821
Da Flippity Flop.
459
00:19:26,855 --> 00:19:29,991
Da Flippity Flop, it works!
460
00:19:31,510 --> 00:19:33,160
Oh, my God,
461
00:19:33,178 --> 00:19:35,596
it is like flying.
462
00:19:38,617 --> 00:19:41,586
(quietly):
Jump City.
463
00:19:44,623 --> 00:19:47,141
This must be
what angels feel li...
464
00:19:47,175 --> 00:19:49,143
(cracking, crunching)
465
00:19:49,177 --> 00:19:51,879
Hey, hey, congrats, man.
466
00:19:51,914 --> 00:19:53,898
That's got to be a world record.
467
00:19:58,654 --> 00:20:00,655
(gurgling)
468
00:20:05,227 --> 00:20:07,061
You're not going anywhere.
469
00:20:07,095 --> 00:20:08,296
Punch in the face.
470
00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:14,535
You think we should've gone
with them to the CIA
471
00:20:14,570 --> 00:20:16,337
to make sure there wasn't
another mix-up?
472
00:20:16,371 --> 00:20:18,372
Why don't you go to the CIA.
473
00:20:18,407 --> 00:20:19,840
You're the one with no job.
474
00:20:19,875 --> 00:20:22,076
Hey, we're home.
475
00:20:22,110 --> 00:20:23,277
Oh, thank God.
476
00:20:23,312 --> 00:20:24,645
Hold it, honey, no hugging yet.
477
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:25,780
I'm still pretty sensitive
478
00:20:25,814 --> 00:20:27,281
after having all
those tattoos removed.
479
00:20:27,316 --> 00:20:28,449
But I'm not mad.
480
00:20:28,483 --> 00:20:30,601
These last few days
of living like a fish
481
00:20:30,636 --> 00:20:32,603
have given me a new appreciation
for you, Klaus.
482
00:20:32,638 --> 00:20:34,238
You used to fly,
483
00:20:34,273 --> 00:20:36,140
and now you're trapped
in a bowl.
484
00:20:36,174 --> 00:20:38,309
Your life is harder
than I ever imagined.
485
00:20:38,343 --> 00:20:40,711
I am truly sorry I didn't give
you more respect
486
00:20:40,746 --> 00:20:41,879
through the years,
487
00:20:41,914 --> 00:20:44,015
and I vow to find you a new body
488
00:20:44,049 --> 00:20:45,533
so you can be human again.
489
00:20:45,567 --> 00:20:47,401
Thank you, Stan.
490
00:20:47,436 --> 00:20:50,037
That's all I ever wanted.
491
00:20:50,072 --> 00:20:53,398
When do you think it will happen?
Probably never, buddy.
492
00:20:54,308 --> 00:21:04,924
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
BehroozException@USA.com