1
00:00:04,691 --> 00:00:07,426
# Good morning, USA!
2
00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:11,280
# I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day #
3
00:00:11,314 --> 00:00:14,249
# The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face #
4
00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:18,703
# And he's shining a salute
to the American race #
5
00:00:20,590 --> 00:00:23,976
# Oh, boy, it's swell to say
6
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# Good...
# Good morning, USA
7
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Aah!
8
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How do you know if it's ripe?
9
00:00:38,358 --> 00:00:40,258
Why, you ask it.
10
00:00:40,293 --> 00:00:43,578
Which of ye be ripe and ready?
11
00:00:43,613 --> 00:00:46,064
# Over the hill
and over the dell... #
12
00:00:46,099 --> 00:00:47,232
Hey, Francine!
13
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Brenda?
14
00:00:48,635 --> 00:00:51,553
Oh, my God, I haven't
seen you in ten years.
15
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Are you still 30?
16
00:00:53,423 --> 00:00:55,607
No, I'm 40 now.
17
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Wow.
18
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And I'm getting married.
19
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Oh, my gosh.
20
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Yeah, I finally found
a great guy.
21
00:01:02,448 --> 00:01:04,683
He's so caring and sensitive.
22
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I mean, I never would have had
the patience to do what you did.
23
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Oh? What's that?
24
00:01:09,922 --> 00:01:11,089
You remember.
25
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You found that guy
who was an embarrassing jerk
26
00:01:13,259 --> 00:01:15,027
and you were gonna fix him up.
27
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How's that going, by the way?
28
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Oh, Stan?
29
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Meat slap!
30
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He was a little rough
around the edges,
31
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but I smoothed him right out.
32
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Well, why don't you
and Mr. Smooth
33
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come to my wedding
next Saturday?
34
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Oh, uh,
35
00:01:32,545 --> 00:01:35,213
Stan usually coaches
a team of...
36
00:01:35,248 --> 00:01:37,249
inner-city youth...
37
00:01:37,283 --> 00:01:39,384
cancer researchers.
38
00:01:39,419 --> 00:01:41,186
Wow.
39
00:01:41,220 --> 00:01:42,804
Well, if anything changes
40
00:01:42,839 --> 00:01:45,323
and you guys can come,
just let me know.
41
00:01:50,263 --> 00:01:51,930
So, honey,
42
00:01:51,964 --> 00:01:54,666
my old friend Brenda
invited us to her wedding,
43
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and I want us to go, but...
44
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Where's my refill?
45
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I don't even see the waiter.
46
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Probably out back
with a busboy,
47
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smoking a big fat dookie.
48
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Finally! I've been sitting here
like a dry-throated bitch,
49
00:02:05,561 --> 00:02:06,862
you dook fiend.
50
00:02:06,913 --> 00:02:09,898
Stan, the poor guy's
just trying to do his job.
51
00:02:09,932 --> 00:02:11,299
Well, he should do it better.
52
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I do my job right.
53
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I'm always...
54
00:02:14,203 --> 00:02:15,871
taking care of business...
55
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Oh, oh, no, Stan.
56
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Please, please don't.
57
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# They get up every morning
58
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# From the alarm clock's
warning #
59
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# Take the 8:15 into the city
60
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# There's a whistle up above
61
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# And people pushin',
people shovin' #
62
00:02:39,395 --> 00:02:41,696
# And the girls
who always look pretty #
63
00:02:41,731 --> 00:02:43,331
# And I've been
64
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# Takin' care of business
65
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# Every day
66
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# Takin' care of business,
every way... #
67
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Wait, were you trying
to tell me something?
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Yes, I want to bring you
to this wedding, but...
69
00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:56,228
# Taking care of business
70
00:02:56,262 --> 00:02:58,697
# And working overtime,
work out! #
71
00:03:05,271 --> 00:03:06,772
Ugh.
72
00:03:06,806 --> 00:03:09,858
Hayley! They have a machine that
lets you make your own soda.
73
00:03:09,892 --> 00:03:11,560
They call it the Soda Squirter.
74
00:03:11,594 --> 00:03:13,462
Can I have $60 so I can buy it?
75
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Of course!
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00:03:14,597 --> 00:03:16,231
Or, or, just hear me
out here...
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I can give you zero dollars,
78
00:03:18,084 --> 00:03:20,051
and you can lick my log cutter.
79
00:03:20,086 --> 00:03:22,020
Oh.
80
00:03:22,054 --> 00:03:23,772
If you want money, get a job.
81
00:03:23,806 --> 00:03:25,857
How am I gonna do that?
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00:03:25,891 --> 00:03:27,909
I may be able
to help you, Steven.
83
00:03:27,944 --> 00:03:29,895
Roger, what are you doing
back there?
84
00:03:29,929 --> 00:03:31,797
I was on the phone
with my friend Douglas.
85
00:03:31,831 --> 00:03:34,332
He's trying to figure out
what kind of car he should buy.
86
00:03:34,367 --> 00:03:37,502
That doesn't explain why you
were behind the water heater.
87
00:03:37,537 --> 00:03:39,838
It doesn't?
88
00:03:39,872 --> 00:03:42,240
Um, so...
89
00:03:42,275 --> 00:03:43,875
you were saying
you could help me?
90
00:03:43,910 --> 00:03:45,343
Oh, yeah, I have a paper route,
91
00:03:45,378 --> 00:03:47,412
and one of the other boys
was beaten to death
92
00:03:47,446 --> 00:03:48,613
by his mom's boyfriend.
93
00:03:48,648 --> 00:03:50,315
Shall I put in a
good word for you?
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Sure!
95
00:03:52,285 --> 00:03:54,286
I got to take this.
It's Douglas.
96
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,621
Hey, Douglas.
97
00:03:56,656 --> 00:03:57,956
A Hyundai?
98
00:03:57,990 --> 00:04:01,526
Are sure you're ready
for that much tail?
99
00:04:03,146 --> 00:04:05,530
All right, lads, now
that we're in the air,
100
00:04:05,565 --> 00:04:07,765
I can tell you our
top-secret objective.
101
00:04:07,783 --> 00:04:09,767
Osama bin Laden.
102
00:04:09,785 --> 00:04:12,270
But, sir, they already got
bin Laden in Pakistan.
103
00:04:14,106 --> 00:04:16,458
Silly Smith. Silly goose.
104
00:04:16,492 --> 00:04:19,794
That was just something we faked
to make the president look good.
105
00:04:19,829 --> 00:04:22,430
But now we've found
the real bin Laden.
106
00:04:22,465 --> 00:04:27,469
He's managing a Doug & Buster's
in Gainesville, Florida.
107
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That son of a bitch!
108
00:04:29,288 --> 00:04:31,256
Stop that, Dick.
109
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It's gross.
110
00:04:33,626 --> 00:04:36,361
Now, I'm sure bin Laden
is heavily guarded,
111
00:04:36,395 --> 00:04:40,065
so expect no mercy
and give none in return.
112
00:05:00,686 --> 00:05:02,938
I'm sorry, sir; we're
closed for the night.
113
00:05:14,417 --> 00:05:15,734
Yeah!
114
00:05:15,768 --> 00:05:17,285
We finally got him.
115
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:19,471
We're Americans, damn it!
116
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Whoa, check out
that sweet game.
117
00:05:39,542 --> 00:05:41,526
Whoa, dude, that's fast.
118
00:05:44,563 --> 00:05:46,631
Ease off the throttle, buddy.
119
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Seriously, Stan, come on.
120
00:05:49,168 --> 00:05:51,019
You're going too fast, bro!
121
00:05:51,053 --> 00:05:53,388
Stan, it's not funny, man.
122
00:05:53,422 --> 00:05:55,223
Stan!
123
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Aah!
124
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Man down!
125
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Call a medevac!
126
00:05:59,929 --> 00:06:01,179
Call an ambulance!
127
00:06:01,213 --> 00:06:03,164
Somebody call somebody!
128
00:06:07,603 --> 00:06:09,220
Avery, what happened?
129
00:06:09,255 --> 00:06:10,622
He was riding a motorcycle
130
00:06:10,656 --> 00:06:14,159
490 miles an hour
through downtown Tokyo!
131
00:06:15,444 --> 00:06:17,462
Stan,
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00:06:17,496 --> 00:06:18,930
I'm here, baby.
133
00:06:18,965 --> 00:06:21,733
Who... who are you?
134
00:06:21,751 --> 00:06:22,951
What?
135
00:06:22,985 --> 00:06:25,453
I'm afraid your husband
has amnesia.
136
00:06:25,488 --> 00:06:27,122
Oh, my God!
I know!
137
00:06:27,156 --> 00:06:28,923
He can't remember anything.
138
00:06:28,958 --> 00:06:33,061
I told him he owed me 50 bucks,
and he just gave it to me.
139
00:06:33,095 --> 00:06:35,463
Will he ever get
his memory back?
140
00:06:35,498 --> 00:06:37,032
It's possible.
141
00:06:37,066 --> 00:06:41,169
But he'll be looking to you
for cues to remember who he is.
142
00:06:41,203 --> 00:06:43,571
You really don't
remember a thing?
143
00:06:43,606 --> 00:06:45,974
No. It's all blank.
144
00:06:46,008 --> 00:06:47,208
I don't know who I am.
145
00:06:47,243 --> 00:06:48,576
It's okay.
146
00:06:48,611 --> 00:06:50,145
I'll help you remember.
147
00:06:50,179 --> 00:06:51,546
You are...
148
00:06:51,580 --> 00:06:53,415
Well, why don't
you and Mr. Smooth
149
00:06:53,449 --> 00:06:55,016
come to my wedding
next Saturday?
150
00:06:55,051 --> 00:06:56,484
Meat slap.
151
00:06:56,519 --> 00:06:58,186
You are...
152
00:06:59,622 --> 00:07:03,925
...a caring and sensitive man.
153
00:07:03,959 --> 00:07:05,527
I... I am?
154
00:07:05,561 --> 00:07:07,696
Yes. You really are.
155
00:07:07,730 --> 00:07:09,647
Now you've got to get better,
156
00:07:09,682 --> 00:07:11,850
because we have a wedding
this weekend.
157
00:07:11,884 --> 00:07:14,319
And I'm gonna show you off.
158
00:07:14,353 --> 00:07:16,071
Oh, and by the way,
159
00:07:16,105 --> 00:07:18,673
there's nothing you love
more than foot rubs.
160
00:07:18,708 --> 00:07:19,637
Giving them.
161
00:07:19,757 --> 00:07:21,242
You hate receiving them.
162
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,654
And this is the TV room,
163
00:07:27,688 --> 00:07:29,890
where you love to watch shows
about dancing
164
00:07:29,924 --> 00:07:32,826
and never shows
about World War II.
165
00:07:34,762 --> 00:07:37,948
Francine, you shouldn't mess
with Stan's mind like this.
166
00:07:37,982 --> 00:07:39,282
Butt out, Klaus.
167
00:07:39,317 --> 00:07:41,868
This is my chance to have
a better version of Stan.
168
00:07:41,903 --> 00:07:44,337
One that won't embarrass
me at Brenda's wedding.
169
00:07:44,372 --> 00:07:46,106
So, I'm a nice guy?
170
00:07:46,140 --> 00:07:47,374
Sure doesn't look like it.
171
00:07:48,910 --> 00:07:52,479
Oh, no,
you're a total sweetheart.
172
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,147
Try to relax, honey.
173
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,615
I'm going to teach you
174
00:07:55,650 --> 00:07:58,652
everything you need
to know about Stan Smith...
175
00:07:59,754 --> 00:08:01,788
The new Stan is...
176
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,068
The new Stan is...
177
00:08:17,438 --> 00:08:19,956
And she was all, "You
told that to her face?"
178
00:08:19,991 --> 00:08:21,391
Hmm.
And I was all, "No,
179
00:08:21,425 --> 00:08:23,627
that's why I'm telling you,
so you can tell her."
180
00:08:23,661 --> 00:08:25,078
Oh, mm-hmm.
181
00:08:25,112 --> 00:08:27,080
The new Stan...
182
00:08:27,114 --> 00:08:30,650
Never BMs in the tub.
183
00:08:40,928 --> 00:08:42,462
Mr. Cappelini?
184
00:08:42,496 --> 00:08:43,663
I'm Steve Smith.
185
00:08:43,698 --> 00:08:46,233
Ah, Josh's replacement.
Welcome aboard.
186
00:08:46,267 --> 00:08:47,701
You're gonna ride along
with Roger today
187
00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:51,021
to see how things work.
188
00:08:57,194 --> 00:08:59,563
Come on, rookie.
Stay close, but not too close.
189
00:08:59,597 --> 00:09:00,864
I swerve a lot
190
00:09:00,898 --> 00:09:03,316
because I accidentally bought
prescription sunglasses,
191
00:09:03,351 --> 00:09:06,553
which I don't need, but I'm
too embarrassed to return.
192
00:09:10,524 --> 00:09:12,826
Wow, how'd you afford
such a nice bike?
193
00:09:12,860 --> 00:09:15,762
How does a paperboy afford
anything on the crap they pay?
194
00:09:15,796 --> 00:09:17,047
You bend the rules.
195
00:09:17,081 --> 00:09:19,499
You get extra papers
and sell 'em on the side.
196
00:09:19,533 --> 00:09:21,918
Vacation hold.
197
00:09:21,969 --> 00:09:24,838
You get one of these, toss it,
keep the papers, side-sell 'em.
198
00:09:24,872 --> 00:09:27,374
You see a vacant, sign it up
for a trial membership.
199
00:09:27,408 --> 00:09:28,575
More papers.
200
00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:31,945
Ma-ma-more papers,
ma-ma-more money.
201
00:09:31,979 --> 00:09:33,380
Ma-ma-more money,
202
00:09:33,414 --> 00:09:35,649
ma-ma-more speech therapy.
203
00:09:37,218 --> 00:09:38,752
Pleasure doing
business with you,
204
00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:40,520
Cooper, you sleazebag.
205
00:09:40,554 --> 00:09:42,072
But Roger,
206
00:09:42,106 --> 00:09:45,175
isn't this a little,
you know, unethical?
207
00:09:45,209 --> 00:09:46,660
Do this job like a bitch,
208
00:09:46,694 --> 00:09:48,395
it'll take forever
to get that Soda Squirter.
209
00:09:48,429 --> 00:09:49,929
How soon you want
to be squirting?
210
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:52,465
I'd like to be squirting
right now.
211
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,901
Okay, let's do it.
212
00:09:57,438 --> 00:10:00,557
There was no reason for him
to be rude like that.
213
00:10:00,591 --> 00:10:03,693
I mean, if you're wearing a
referee shirt in a Foot Locker,
214
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:05,495
I assume you work there.
215
00:10:05,529 --> 00:10:08,531
Sounds like he had a problem and
he was trying to make it yours.
216
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,650
I could talk to you for hours.
217
00:10:10,685 --> 00:10:12,852
Well, I could listen
to you all day,
218
00:10:12,887 --> 00:10:15,121
so there.
219
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,589
You know what?
220
00:10:16,624 --> 00:10:19,059
I think I'm ready
to go back to work.
221
00:10:19,093 --> 00:10:20,527
Work?
Well, yeah.
222
00:10:20,561 --> 00:10:22,929
I must have a job, right?
Where do I work again?
223
00:10:29,904 --> 00:10:32,322
Sir, this is going
to sound crazy,
224
00:10:32,356 --> 00:10:34,624
but would you pretend...
Okay, yeah, I'll do it.
225
00:10:34,659 --> 00:10:36,960
But I haven't told you...
I'll do it; I'm in.
226
00:10:36,994 --> 00:10:39,946
Okay, uh, my husband, Stan,
has amnesia.
227
00:10:39,964 --> 00:10:41,331
If you could give him a job
228
00:10:41,365 --> 00:10:43,133
and pretend that he's
worked here for a while...
229
00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:45,201
Yeah, yeah, girl, I said
I'm in; let's do it.
230
00:10:45,236 --> 00:10:46,636
Um, okay...
231
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:51,274
Stan, I'm so glad
to see you, man.
232
00:10:51,308 --> 00:10:52,475
I was worried sick.
233
00:10:52,510 --> 00:10:54,978
I'm sorry.
I-I don't remember you.
234
00:10:55,012 --> 00:10:58,765
What?! Man, we been in the
futon game since '95, dude.
235
00:10:58,799 --> 00:11:01,034
Remember, remember selling
futons to college kids
236
00:11:01,068 --> 00:11:02,268
out of that old truck
237
00:11:02,303 --> 00:11:03,670
you bought from
Leticia's daddy?
238
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:04,771
Uh...
239
00:11:04,805 --> 00:11:06,906
It's okay. We'll get
you there, Stan.
240
00:11:06,941 --> 00:11:09,042
Delroy is here for you.
241
00:11:09,076 --> 00:11:11,177
I mean, you've always
been there for me, man,
242
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:12,612
ever since we was kids.
243
00:11:12,646 --> 00:11:14,914
Your mama-- God bless her--
she took me in
244
00:11:14,949 --> 00:11:18,301
when my home environment was not
a good situation, you know?
245
00:11:23,774 --> 00:11:25,909
How long do you think
Stan will believe
246
00:11:25,943 --> 00:11:27,844
this malarkey that he's
a futon salesman, huh?
247
00:11:27,878 --> 00:11:29,412
He's gonna remember everything,
248
00:11:29,447 --> 00:11:32,348
including how to schmack you
around the bedroom!
249
00:11:32,383 --> 00:11:33,650
He doesn't do that.
250
00:11:33,684 --> 00:11:36,286
He does in the short stories
I've been writing.
251
00:11:39,473 --> 00:11:42,208
Stan! How was work?
252
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:44,778
Something just doesn't
feel right.
253
00:11:45,980 --> 00:11:48,882
If ComforTech shipped
those frames last week,
254
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:50,133
they should be here by now.
255
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:52,135
Oh, well,
that's the futon game!
256
00:11:55,139 --> 00:11:58,908
Oh, my God,
his new personality stuck!
257
00:11:58,943 --> 00:12:01,411
I've created
the perfect husband!
258
00:12:01,445 --> 00:12:04,214
I can't wait to show him off
at Brenda's wedding!
259
00:12:04,248 --> 00:12:06,049
There's a special place in hell
260
00:12:06,083 --> 00:12:07,751
for people who do things
like this,
261
00:12:07,785 --> 00:12:09,486
right next to the
child molesters
262
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,756
and the sexy children
who seduced them!
263
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,524
Okay, three weeks
of straight hustlin'.
264
00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:49,192
Now it's time to get paid, son.
265
00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:51,528
Bam! Bam! Bam!
266
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:54,714
$7.32. Here's your cut.
267
00:12:54,748 --> 00:12:56,049
A Canadian quarter?
268
00:12:56,083 --> 00:12:58,284
I thought we were splitting
things down the middle.
269
00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:00,069
Oh, you want a split
down the middle?
270
00:13:00,104 --> 00:13:01,254
Here you go.
271
00:13:06,377 --> 00:13:09,245
You can go. It's green.
272
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:10,847
Is that really necessary?
273
00:13:10,881 --> 00:13:14,284
A honk's the angriest sound
a car can make.
274
00:13:18,906 --> 00:13:22,242
# And I've been takin' care
of business every day... #
275
00:13:24,411 --> 00:13:25,411
You hate that song.
276
00:13:25,445 --> 00:13:26,445
Are you sure?
277
00:13:26,463 --> 00:13:27,831
It didn't feel that way.
278
00:13:27,882 --> 00:13:29,382
Yep, you hate it.
279
00:13:29,416 --> 00:13:32,085
Um... when you
were a boy,
280
00:13:32,119 --> 00:13:35,171
your father was raped
to that song.
281
00:13:35,222 --> 00:13:36,923
Oh.
282
00:13:43,597 --> 00:13:45,448
This place is so big!
283
00:13:45,482 --> 00:13:47,166
Oh, I hope
no one was injured
284
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:49,235
during the construction
process.
285
00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:52,005
Okay, we have you in
a garden view room...
286
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:53,439
Are you sure?
287
00:13:53,474 --> 00:13:55,508
'Cause I thought we booked
an ocean view room.
288
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:56,509
Honey, please!
289
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,144
There's no need
to make a scene.
290
00:13:58,178 --> 00:13:59,212
Francine!
291
00:13:59,246 --> 00:14:00,330
Brenda!
292
00:14:00,364 --> 00:14:01,831
I'm so glad you could make it!
293
00:14:01,866 --> 00:14:04,234
You remember Stan,
294
00:14:04,268 --> 00:14:07,904
who's now my sensitive,
patient, foot-massaging angel.
295
00:14:07,938 --> 00:14:10,573
Francine...
296
00:14:10,608 --> 00:14:13,643
He's the top futon salesman
in Langley Falls.
297
00:14:13,677 --> 00:14:17,247
And he has the emotional
availability of Tom Hanks
298
00:14:17,281 --> 00:14:19,182
in Sleepless in Seattle.
299
00:14:19,216 --> 00:14:21,050
Francine...!
300
00:14:21,085 --> 00:14:23,786
And he's a great lover.
301
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,221
A gentleman in the streets,
302
00:14:25,256 --> 00:14:28,758
but a thirsty dog
in the sheets.
303
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,529
You are a lucky woman,
Francine.
304
00:14:33,564 --> 00:14:35,331
I have to run and get ready.
305
00:14:35,366 --> 00:14:36,766
See you at the ceremony!
306
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,852
That was really embarrassing
for me, Francine.
307
00:14:39,887 --> 00:14:42,488
What happens in our
marital bed is between us.
308
00:14:42,523 --> 00:14:45,191
Heavens to Murgatroyd!
309
00:14:47,995 --> 00:14:53,032
"Theo, we fit together
like the pieces of a puzzle.
310
00:14:53,067 --> 00:14:55,251
And when that puzzle
is complete..."
311
00:14:57,421 --> 00:14:59,656
Sorry.
312
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:02,158
"...it is a picture of love."
313
00:15:05,346 --> 00:15:07,814
Take it easy, Stan.
314
00:15:07,848 --> 00:15:10,416
It's just a lame-ass
puzzle metaphor.
315
00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:12,151
I'm not crying
about that, Francine.
316
00:15:12,186 --> 00:15:13,836
I'm crying about us.
317
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:14,988
What?
318
00:15:15,022 --> 00:15:16,656
This feeling has been
building for days.
319
00:15:16,690 --> 00:15:18,791
And now seeing this couple
320
00:15:18,826 --> 00:15:21,060
that's so clearly meant
to be together,
321
00:15:21,095 --> 00:15:23,663
I realize... we're not.
322
00:15:23,697 --> 00:15:24,647
Stan, honey...
323
00:15:24,682 --> 00:15:26,399
No! We're too different.
324
00:15:26,433 --> 00:15:28,084
You're insensitive and crass
325
00:15:28,118 --> 00:15:30,086
and mean to people
in the service industry.
326
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:32,855
And Stan Smith is
just not like that!
327
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,157
I'm sorry, Francine,
328
00:15:34,191 --> 00:15:36,575
but this isn't going to work!
329
00:15:38,495 --> 00:15:40,713
I'm sorry.
I couldn't help overhearing.
330
00:15:40,747 --> 00:15:43,399
It sounds like you could use
a little help.
331
00:15:55,842 --> 00:15:57,203
Stan, what are you doing?
332
00:15:57,238 --> 00:15:59,305
I don't think
you're right for me!
333
00:15:59,340 --> 00:16:00,407
And it makes me sad,
334
00:16:00,441 --> 00:16:02,308
and I don't want
to waste these tears,
335
00:16:02,343 --> 00:16:03,543
so I'm watering this plant.
336
00:16:03,577 --> 00:16:05,011
Stan!
337
00:16:05,046 --> 00:16:06,846
Okay, look...
338
00:16:06,881 --> 00:16:10,667
the reason things feel strange
to you is because...
339
00:16:10,701 --> 00:16:13,403
I lied about who you are.
340
00:16:13,437 --> 00:16:18,408
You are my husband,
but you're not... this.
341
00:16:18,442 --> 00:16:23,480
You're actually an insensitive
jerk who works for the CIA.
342
00:16:23,514 --> 00:16:25,415
Is that some kind of joke?
343
00:16:25,449 --> 00:16:27,016
This isn't a time
for humor, Francine.
344
00:16:27,051 --> 00:16:28,051
That comes later,
345
00:16:28,085 --> 00:16:30,286
when Theo's brother gives
his speech.
346
00:16:30,321 --> 00:16:32,622
"...the-the only two words
you need
347
00:16:32,656 --> 00:16:36,960
to know as a husband are:
'Yes, dear.'"
348
00:16:36,994 --> 00:16:39,929
I'm not joking,
Stan! Watch!
349
00:16:39,964 --> 00:16:41,898
I'll trigger
your CIA instincts,
350
00:16:41,932 --> 00:16:43,333
and that'll jog your memory,
351
00:16:43,367 --> 00:16:45,235
like in The Bourne Identity!
352
00:16:49,490 --> 00:16:50,523
Damn it, Stan!
353
00:16:50,558 --> 00:16:52,525
I know the real you
is in there!
354
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:54,110
Hyah!
Aah!
355
00:16:54,145 --> 00:16:57,730
Oh! Please! Stop hurting my body!
356
00:17:00,284 --> 00:17:02,168
Stan...!
357
00:17:05,423 --> 00:17:08,758
: Then she hit me...
in front of everyone!
358
00:17:08,793 --> 00:17:10,927
That wicked woman!
Do you know she asked me
359
00:17:10,961 --> 00:17:12,862
to pretend I was your friend
since childhood?
360
00:17:12,897 --> 00:17:15,031
Man, like I'd do something
like that to you.
361
00:17:15,065 --> 00:17:16,566
We've been friends
since childhood.
362
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,867
What am I gonna do?!
363
00:17:17,902 --> 00:17:19,969
Listen, Stan, you got
to forget about Francine.
364
00:17:20,004 --> 00:17:21,070
It's a wedding, man.
365
00:17:21,105 --> 00:17:23,473
Have a few drinks, get loose...
366
00:17:25,409 --> 00:17:26,776
Get loose?
367
00:17:26,811 --> 00:17:28,745
Yeah, man!
Before you met Francine,
368
00:17:28,779 --> 00:17:30,180
you were a mack!
369
00:17:30,214 --> 00:17:32,182
I was?
What was my type?
370
00:17:32,216 --> 00:17:35,018
Mature Navajo bitches.
371
00:17:44,295 --> 00:17:46,579
What are you dorks looking at?
372
00:17:46,647 --> 00:17:50,517
Thank you for bringing this
to my attention, Steven.
373
00:17:50,551 --> 00:17:52,919
I had to do what was
right, Mr. Cappelini.
374
00:17:52,953 --> 00:17:55,021
You sold me out?!
You punk!
375
00:17:55,055 --> 00:17:57,357
He was in on it, too--
Mr. Cappelini!
376
00:17:57,391 --> 00:18:00,426
Oh, I know. I've been
following you two for weeks.
377
00:18:00,461 --> 00:18:01,794
What? How?
378
00:18:02,813 --> 00:18:05,765
I'm a fairy--
the last of my kind.
379
00:18:05,799 --> 00:18:07,767
You see, we, the fairy folk
380
00:18:07,801 --> 00:18:10,436
draw our life energy
from human honesty.
381
00:18:10,470 --> 00:18:11,938
And newspapers.
382
00:18:11,972 --> 00:18:14,157
And as you know,
both of those things
383
00:18:14,191 --> 00:18:15,658
are dwindling in the world,
384
00:18:15,693 --> 00:18:17,810
which is why I, and I alone,
385
00:18:17,828 --> 00:18:20,196
am humanity's last hope
for survi...
386
00:18:21,615 --> 00:18:23,950
That's for being confusing!
387
00:18:31,258 --> 00:18:32,959
What have I done?!
388
00:18:32,993 --> 00:18:35,361
I ruined my marriage!
389
00:18:51,212 --> 00:18:53,796
Real Stan would never dance
to this crap.
390
00:18:53,831 --> 00:18:55,632
He'd hate this song.
391
00:18:55,666 --> 00:18:57,467
That's it!
392
00:18:57,501 --> 00:18:59,685
Quit your job.
I'll take care of you.
393
00:18:59,703 --> 00:19:02,338
This song goes out to a man
394
00:19:02,373 --> 00:19:07,610
who deep down inside is
an insensitive son of a bitch,
395
00:19:07,645 --> 00:19:11,147
and he's the only man
I ever wanted.
396
00:19:11,181 --> 00:19:14,400
# They get up every morning
397
00:19:14,435 --> 00:19:16,269
# From your alarm clock's
warning #
398
00:19:16,303 --> 00:19:19,289
# Take the 8:15 into the city
399
00:19:19,323 --> 00:19:23,542
# There's a whistle up above,
people pushin', people shovin' #
400
00:19:23,561 --> 00:19:26,646
# And the girls
who always look pretty... #
401
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:28,565
Yes, Stan, remember!
402
00:19:28,599 --> 00:19:30,733
Remember...
403
00:19:30,768 --> 00:19:32,869
# Takin' care of business
404
00:19:32,903 --> 00:19:34,938
# Every way!
405
00:19:34,989 --> 00:19:37,173
# Takin' care of business
406
00:19:37,207 --> 00:19:38,541
# It's all mine
407
00:19:38,576 --> 00:19:40,343
# Takin' care of business
408
00:19:40,377 --> 00:19:41,844
# And workin' overtime
409
00:19:41,879 --> 00:19:42,845
# Work out!
410
00:19:43,681 --> 00:19:45,815
Stan? Is that you?
411
00:19:49,403 --> 00:19:50,737
It is!
412
00:19:50,771 --> 00:19:51,771
I...
413
00:19:51,805 --> 00:19:53,873
remember everything!
414
00:19:53,907 --> 00:19:55,041
Oh, thank God!
415
00:19:55,075 --> 00:19:57,110
You lied to me
when I had amnesia!
416
00:19:58,312 --> 00:20:00,146
You tried to change who I am!
417
00:20:00,180 --> 00:20:01,681
His very personality?
418
00:20:01,715 --> 00:20:02,949
His core?
419
00:20:02,983 --> 00:20:06,119
What made him uniquely him?!
420
00:20:06,153 --> 00:20:08,554
Look, honey, I'm sorry.
421
00:20:08,589 --> 00:20:12,025
I thought I could make you
into my perfect husband.
422
00:20:12,059 --> 00:20:15,728
But the truth is neither
one of us are perfect.
423
00:20:15,763 --> 00:20:19,098
And that's okay
because we fit together
424
00:20:19,133 --> 00:20:21,034
like the pieces of a puzzle.
425
00:20:21,068 --> 00:20:22,869
Oh, my God, I get it now.
426
00:20:22,903 --> 00:20:24,370
Brenda, I am sorry.
427
00:20:24,405 --> 00:20:27,407
I said some real nasty
things about your vows.
428
00:20:27,441 --> 00:20:29,409
I... I need to be alone.
429
00:20:42,990 --> 00:20:45,458
Mama, when's Daddy coming home?
430
00:20:45,492 --> 00:20:49,826
Well, honey, probably not before
the futon market cools off.
431
00:20:49,946 --> 00:20:51,297
# Futon World
432
00:20:51,332 --> 00:20:54,067
# Our prices are
from outer space #
433
00:20:54,101 --> 00:20:56,185
# Futon World!