1
00:00:42,294 --> 00:00:44,910
Go, Lindsay!
Take it, Lindsay!
2
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:48,037
Oh, God, I love you, Lindsay!
3
00:01:12,191 --> 00:01:15,160
Somebody lower
the godforsaken ringer!
4
00:01:15,194 --> 00:01:17,546
Hello?
5
00:01:17,580 --> 00:01:19,281
Oh, God.
6
00:01:19,315 --> 00:01:21,516
Oh, no.
7
00:01:21,551 --> 00:01:24,019
Oh, so awful.
8
00:01:26,189 --> 00:01:27,889
Whew! All right,
where was I?
9
00:01:27,924 --> 00:01:29,958
"Truth or Dare":
Somebody ask me a truth.
10
00:01:29,992 --> 00:01:31,593
Nothing about crushes,
I get embarrassed.
11
00:01:31,627 --> 00:01:32,828
What was that call?
12
00:01:32,862 --> 00:01:34,796
Oh, Lindsay, the babysitter,
broke her leg.
13
00:01:34,831 --> 00:01:37,349
She has to cancel.
Oh, man.
14
00:01:37,383 --> 00:01:40,252
I was really looking forward
to our big date tonight.
15
00:01:40,286 --> 00:01:41,653
It was gonna be perfect.
16
00:01:41,687 --> 00:01:43,155
Tickets to Cavalia,
17
00:01:43,189 --> 00:01:45,524
the greatest horse show on Earth.
18
00:01:47,427 --> 00:01:49,394
Oh, God.
19
00:01:49,429 --> 00:01:50,512
Nothing turns me on
20
00:01:50,546 --> 00:01:53,598
like horses and
horse-related theater.
21
00:01:53,633 --> 00:01:55,967
Oh, it gets me going, too.
22
00:01:56,986 --> 00:01:58,303
Oh!
23
00:01:58,337 --> 00:01:59,938
That's why I got us a room afterwards
24
00:01:59,972 --> 00:02:03,525
at the DC Sheraton, for nasty hotel sex.
25
00:02:03,559 --> 00:02:05,227
A junior suite.
26
00:02:07,897 --> 00:02:10,882
Welp, if you guys cancel,
you're out 200 bucks.
27
00:02:10,950 --> 00:02:13,618
What?!
I was gonna surprise you.
28
00:02:13,653 --> 00:02:15,353
I hired Roger to drive us
29
00:02:15,388 --> 00:02:17,339
to the show
in a horse-drawn carriage.
30
00:02:17,373 --> 00:02:19,724
Taking horses to watch horses?
31
00:02:19,759 --> 00:02:22,294
How bad does this girl want it?
32
00:02:25,598 --> 00:02:26,798
Damn it!
33
00:02:26,833 --> 00:02:29,367
If Lindsay can't babysit,
we got to reschedule.
34
00:02:29,402 --> 00:02:31,403
I'll watch Steve.
35
00:02:33,673 --> 00:02:35,140
Why is that funny?
36
00:02:35,174 --> 00:02:38,343
Why is Mike & Molly funny?
'Cause they're fat.
37
00:02:38,377 --> 00:02:40,445
And this is funny
'cause you're irresponsible.
38
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:41,830
I'm not irresponsible.
39
00:02:41,864 --> 00:02:44,608
You're one chore
is to clean Klaus's bowl.
40
00:02:44,668 --> 00:02:46,970
How am I supposed to eat
my cereal out of this?
41
00:02:47,653 --> 00:02:49,588
Come on, how hard is it to watch Steve?
42
00:02:49,622 --> 00:02:51,640
He doesn't even know how
to get in trouble.
43
00:02:51,674 --> 00:02:52,741
He's a dweeb.
44
00:02:52,775 --> 00:02:54,943
I'm not a dweeb.
45
00:02:54,977 --> 00:02:56,578
I-I'm a wild one.
46
00:02:56,612 --> 00:02:58,847
Just the other day,
I was holding a hot dog
47
00:02:58,881 --> 00:03:00,415
as if it were a cigar.
48
00:03:00,449 --> 00:03:02,851
A cigar!
49
00:03:02,885 --> 00:03:04,586
Oh, wait!
50
00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:06,087
We can't reschedule.
51
00:03:06,122 --> 00:03:08,290
This is Cavalia's last weekend.
52
00:03:08,324 --> 00:03:09,324
Wow.
53
00:03:09,358 --> 00:03:11,092
Stakes.
Conference.
54
00:03:19,635 --> 00:03:23,772
Hayley, it is with many, many,
many, many reservations
55
00:03:23,806 --> 00:03:27,809
that we say this, but you'll be
babysitting Steve tonight.
56
00:03:27,844 --> 00:03:29,711
You guys have nothing to worry about.
57
00:03:29,745 --> 00:03:30,879
And if this goes well,
58
00:03:30,913 --> 00:03:33,515
maybe you can look after
my baby next week.
59
00:03:33,549 --> 00:03:35,784
I found him in a hospital.
60
00:03:39,522 --> 00:03:43,058
Wow, you look so gorgeous!
61
00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:45,577
You look like that little slut
from Tangled.
62
00:03:45,595 --> 00:03:48,380
Man, am I gonna give it to you tonight.
63
00:03:48,414 --> 00:03:49,881
Yeah, you are.
64
00:03:49,916 --> 00:03:53,435
Right after we watch horses together.
65
00:03:53,469 --> 00:03:57,205
- Yes.
- Oh,
66
00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:00,141
yeah...
67
00:04:00,176 --> 00:04:02,894
Hayley, did you fill up my car with gas
68
00:04:02,928 --> 00:04:03,862
after you borrowed it?
69
00:04:03,896 --> 00:04:05,463
If you need to go anywhere,
70
00:04:05,498 --> 00:04:08,600
I don't want you driving Steve
in Jeff's sketchy van.
71
00:04:08,634 --> 00:04:10,402
He's precious cargo.
72
00:04:10,436 --> 00:04:12,003
Aww.
73
00:04:12,972 --> 00:04:14,039
No underwear?
74
00:04:14,073 --> 00:04:16,575
What's the point?
75
00:04:16,609 --> 00:04:19,211
Look, I got everything
under control, okay?
76
00:04:19,245 --> 00:04:20,879
Now, go on, get out of here.
77
00:04:24,183 --> 00:04:26,351
Evening, sir.
I'm here for Mr. and Mrs.
78
00:04:26,385 --> 00:04:30,855
"For Display Purposes Only.
This Is Not A Real Cell Phone."
79
00:04:32,358 --> 00:04:34,242
Well, see you tomorrow.
80
00:04:34,277 --> 00:04:35,277
Oh, and Hayley...
81
00:04:35,978 --> 00:04:38,113
...if you mess this up,
82
00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:41,016
I will never, ever
83
00:04:41,050 --> 00:04:44,552
trust you again.
84
00:04:44,587 --> 00:04:46,304
Bye, kids!
85
00:04:47,857 --> 00:04:49,641
Hey, babe, want a pot brownie?
86
00:04:49,659 --> 00:04:51,476
No! I'm babysitting.
87
00:04:51,510 --> 00:04:52,444
I'm being responsible.
88
00:04:52,478 --> 00:04:55,447
Good, 'cause I already ate both.
89
00:04:55,481 --> 00:04:58,149
Wait, did I?
90
00:04:58,184 --> 00:04:59,951
You did, bro.
91
00:05:04,290 --> 00:05:06,491
Steve, I'm calling in the pizza.
92
00:05:22,041 --> 00:05:23,074
Steve, did you...
93
00:05:23,109 --> 00:05:25,610
Invite my friends over
without asking? Yeah.
94
00:05:25,645 --> 00:05:28,530
Cook an Italian dinner with only
the freshest ingredients?
95
00:05:28,564 --> 00:05:29,648
You bet.
96
00:05:29,682 --> 00:05:31,733
You called me a dweeb,
said I wasn't wild.
97
00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:33,652
How do you like me now?
98
00:05:33,686 --> 00:05:35,637
So, you made dinner?
99
00:05:35,671 --> 00:05:37,656
That's, that's crazy for you?
100
00:05:37,690 --> 00:05:42,744
Okay, well, try not to get
Mom's apron dirty, wild man.
101
00:05:42,778 --> 00:05:44,346
Damn it, it's true.
102
00:05:44,380 --> 00:05:45,580
I'm not wild.
103
00:05:48,284 --> 00:05:51,052
I don't know what you just said,
but you said it in Asian.
104
00:05:51,087 --> 00:05:55,023
Speaking of Asians, I heard that
Alpha Asian, Vince Chung,
105
00:05:55,057 --> 00:05:56,691
is having a party tonight.
106
00:05:56,726 --> 00:05:58,560
That's it!
We'll go.
107
00:05:58,594 --> 00:06:00,178
That's how we'll be crazy.
108
00:06:02,048 --> 00:06:04,182
How's this for crazy?
109
00:06:04,216 --> 00:06:06,551
You just won the Super Bowl!
110
00:06:06,585 --> 00:06:09,321
It's boiling!
111
00:06:09,355 --> 00:06:11,823
Gonna be a fun night, guys.
112
00:06:16,012 --> 00:06:18,079
Folks, we'll be at Cavalia in no time.
113
00:06:18,114 --> 00:06:20,665
If you're gonna do it back
there, I have a family-size tub
114
00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:22,634
of Kirkland lubricant under the seat.
115
00:06:22,668 --> 00:06:24,068
If you could please pass it forward,
116
00:06:24,086 --> 00:06:25,804
I'll be using it while I watch you.
117
00:06:25,838 --> 00:06:28,923
Thanks, but we're holding off
so we can really explode later.
118
00:06:28,958 --> 00:06:30,575
Of course.
There's a blanket by your feet
119
00:06:30,593 --> 00:06:32,043
if you get chilly on the highway.
120
00:06:32,077 --> 00:06:34,245
Oh the what?
Highway. Hyah!
121
00:06:40,019 --> 00:06:42,053
They're just honking
'cause they're jealous.
122
00:06:47,763 --> 00:06:49,361
Welp, we're heading out.
123
00:06:49,395 --> 00:06:52,414
Hitting the town,
wild-style.
124
00:06:52,448 --> 00:06:54,849
Uh, I didn't BM after dinner,
125
00:06:54,884 --> 00:06:56,518
but I'm gonna leave the house anyway,
126
00:06:56,552 --> 00:06:57,585
see what happens.
127
00:06:57,620 --> 00:07:01,289
Caution to the wind.
128
00:07:01,323 --> 00:07:02,657
Okay, Steve, real cute.
129
00:07:02,691 --> 00:07:04,092
Mom and Dad put me in charge,
130
00:07:04,126 --> 00:07:05,560
and you're not going anywhere.
131
00:07:05,594 --> 00:07:07,112
But, you can't...
I said no.
132
00:07:07,146 --> 00:07:09,447
Now, go upstairs
and play with yourselves.
133
00:07:09,465 --> 00:07:13,468
Unbelievable, Hayley.
134
00:07:13,502 --> 00:07:17,072
No, no, Steve, great idea.
135
00:07:17,106 --> 00:07:21,125
Let's go to your room
and play with ourselves.
136
00:07:21,143 --> 00:07:22,460
Are we...
137
00:07:22,495 --> 00:07:24,396
Are we actually gonna do this?
138
00:07:24,430 --> 00:07:27,265
I wish Mom and Dad could've seen that.
139
00:07:27,299 --> 00:07:29,267
Me, too, man.
140
00:07:29,301 --> 00:07:31,503
I think I'm really proving myself.
141
00:07:31,537 --> 00:07:33,772
Me, too, man.
142
00:07:33,806 --> 00:07:34,906
This is gonna sound weird,
143
00:07:34,940 --> 00:07:36,941
but, for the first time in my life,
144
00:07:36,975 --> 00:07:38,993
I feel like a grown woman.
145
00:07:39,028 --> 00:07:40,862
Me, too, man.
146
00:07:49,205 --> 00:07:51,022
Run!
147
00:07:52,458 --> 00:07:53,691
Come on, Jeff!
148
00:08:10,726 --> 00:08:13,144
Oh, nu-uh,
not on my watch!
149
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:25,874
Oh, son of a bitch!
150
00:08:25,908 --> 00:08:28,009
I was supposed to get gas.
151
00:08:28,043 --> 00:08:30,111
Did you?
152
00:08:33,949 --> 00:08:35,016
Hey, Lindsay.
153
00:08:35,050 --> 00:08:36,417
How you holding up there, champ?
154
00:08:36,452 --> 00:08:37,585
Pretty good, Doc.
155
00:08:38,687 --> 00:08:40,188
No, no, you're not.
156
00:08:40,222 --> 00:08:41,422
The fracture actually triggered
157
00:08:41,457 --> 00:08:43,158
an aggressive staph infection.
158
00:08:43,192 --> 00:08:44,192
In all likelihood,
159
00:08:44,226 --> 00:08:46,294
you're going to lose your leg.
160
00:08:46,328 --> 00:08:47,462
Looks like you, young man,
161
00:08:47,496 --> 00:08:49,497
have a medical problem, too.
162
00:08:49,532 --> 00:08:52,000
W-What-What's that?
163
00:08:52,034 --> 00:08:53,401
You've lost your nose!
164
00:08:53,435 --> 00:08:55,837
Yes, you did.
165
00:08:58,874 --> 00:09:00,525
Babe, slow down!
166
00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:01,793
So Steve snuck out?
167
00:09:01,827 --> 00:09:02,860
It's no big deal.
168
00:09:02,895 --> 00:09:03,945
It is a big deal.
169
00:09:03,979 --> 00:09:05,730
My parents already think I'm a joke.
170
00:09:05,764 --> 00:09:07,782
Don't worry, babe, we'll find him.
171
00:09:07,816 --> 00:09:10,118
Steve!
172
00:09:10,152 --> 00:09:11,386
What?
173
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:13,688
No, we're looking for Steve.
174
00:09:13,722 --> 00:09:16,424
That's my name.
175
00:09:16,458 --> 00:09:19,394
Babe, I don't know what to do here.
176
00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:22,397
Man, I'm pumped for Vince Chung's party.
177
00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:24,148
Y'all say Vince Chung's party?
178
00:09:24,183 --> 00:09:25,583
They're letting nerds like you in,
179
00:09:25,617 --> 00:09:27,885
y'all must be bringing
some serious liquor.
180
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:29,737
Yeah, of course we are.
181
00:09:29,772 --> 00:09:33,641
How else would we get in?
182
00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:39,814
Move it!
183
00:09:41,683 --> 00:09:44,102
Oh, hell no! Go on, get!
184
00:09:48,107 --> 00:09:50,274
Roger, I don't...
We got this!
185
00:09:50,308 --> 00:09:51,976
Oh, you dick!
186
00:10:06,909 --> 00:10:09,043
That's what you get for
tangling with a Honda.
187
00:10:09,078 --> 00:10:10,711
Every time.
188
00:10:10,746 --> 00:10:12,947
Now how are we gonna get to Cavalia?
189
00:10:12,981 --> 00:10:14,866
I don't know, maybe
we should just go home.
190
00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:16,117
I'm kind of worried about leaving Hayley
191
00:10:16,151 --> 00:10:17,385
in charge, anyway.
192
00:10:17,419 --> 00:10:19,520
No, no, no. You hired me
to get you to Cavalia,
193
00:10:19,555 --> 00:10:21,572
and I'm gonna get you there.
194
00:10:22,875 --> 00:10:23,891
Now, Diamond!
195
00:10:23,926 --> 00:10:25,342
Now, Nanny McPhee!
196
00:10:27,012 --> 00:10:29,680
Welp, only one way home.
197
00:10:31,567 --> 00:10:35,136
Whee!
198
00:10:37,673 --> 00:10:39,824
Damn it, they're not here.
199
00:10:39,858 --> 00:10:41,709
Where would four high school kids go?
200
00:10:41,743 --> 00:10:43,611
Yo, Donnie!
Doing another delivery
201
00:10:43,645 --> 00:10:45,179
to that high school kid's party?
202
00:10:45,214 --> 00:10:48,549
Yeah! This party's very
close and easy to get to.
203
00:10:48,584 --> 00:10:51,719
Just a left on Sycamore
and a right on Sherbourne,
204
00:10:51,753 --> 00:10:52,787
and you're there.
205
00:10:52,821 --> 00:10:55,123
212 Sherbourne.
206
00:10:55,157 --> 00:10:56,441
Did you hear that?
207
00:10:56,475 --> 00:10:57,809
Steve and his friends
are definitely gonna
208
00:10:57,843 --> 00:10:58,876
be at that party.
209
00:10:58,911 --> 00:11:01,696
Mm-hmm. I guess
the only question is:
210
00:11:01,730 --> 00:11:03,548
What are we talking about?
211
00:11:10,622 --> 00:11:12,523
I'm gonna call you, Barry.
212
00:11:12,557 --> 00:11:14,558
I'm gonna hold you to that, Nate!
213
00:11:17,079 --> 00:11:18,880
Okay, so we just need to find
214
00:11:18,914 --> 00:11:20,948
a kind stranger to buy us liquor.
215
00:11:20,983 --> 00:11:21,949
Hey...
216
00:11:21,984 --> 00:11:23,518
uh, you boys need some booze?
217
00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:24,552
I'll get you booze.
218
00:11:24,586 --> 00:11:26,554
But you got to do something for me.
219
00:11:26,588 --> 00:11:29,090
Uh, I need you to go
buy me, like, uh, like,
220
00:11:29,124 --> 00:11:30,658
a hundred boxes of Sudafed.
221
00:11:30,692 --> 00:11:33,361
Holy meth-moly!
222
00:11:34,830 --> 00:11:36,998
Of course we'll buy you
medicine for your cold.
223
00:11:37,032 --> 00:11:38,332
Poor thing.
224
00:11:38,367 --> 00:11:40,234
Okay, great, great.
Okay, I'll get the booze,
225
00:11:40,269 --> 00:11:41,736
you get the Suds.
226
00:11:41,770 --> 00:11:43,237
Here's some dough, here's some dough.
227
00:11:43,272 --> 00:11:45,273
Get a receipt.
228
00:11:46,708 --> 00:11:50,778
I get a really good vibe from that guy.
229
00:11:50,812 --> 00:11:52,713
Great vibe!
230
00:11:58,987 --> 00:12:00,288
Well, they're not upstairs.
231
00:12:00,322 --> 00:12:02,123
I don't see Steve
and his friends anywhere.
232
00:12:02,157 --> 00:12:04,025
Sweet, we got away.
233
00:12:04,059 --> 00:12:04,926
Not helping.
234
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:07,628
God, I need a drink.
235
00:12:14,353 --> 00:12:15,853
Mm! Making meth?
236
00:12:15,888 --> 00:12:17,822
Cute lisp.
237
00:12:17,856 --> 00:12:19,323
No, I'm not making a mess,
238
00:12:19,358 --> 00:12:20,992
I'm gonna buy these.
239
00:12:21,026 --> 00:12:22,360
Steve Smith.
240
00:12:23,562 --> 00:12:25,029
You're funny.
I'm Jenny.
241
00:12:25,063 --> 00:12:27,465
Either that or you're a vest thief.
242
00:12:31,069 --> 00:12:33,304
Listen, I got to
biggity-boing-boing-bounce,
243
00:12:33,338 --> 00:12:35,106
but unless I'm reading this wrong,
244
00:12:35,140 --> 00:12:36,307
which usually only happens
245
00:12:36,341 --> 00:12:38,743
with the menu
at a Vietnamese restaurant...
246
00:12:40,479 --> 00:12:41,913
...we should hang soon.
247
00:12:41,947 --> 00:12:43,781
Here, take my "dig-ios."
248
00:12:50,122 --> 00:12:53,858
I got to make some real changes.
249
00:12:55,861 --> 00:12:57,862
Great, great, great.
The receipt in here?
250
00:12:57,896 --> 00:12:59,030
Oh, the receipt.
251
00:12:59,064 --> 00:13:00,498
Uh, yeah.
252
00:13:01,533 --> 00:13:03,734
We got booze, bitches!
253
00:13:03,769 --> 00:13:06,871
And a stack of Spanish-language
quinceañera cards?
254
00:13:06,905 --> 00:13:08,372
Wait, who put these in here?
255
00:13:08,407 --> 00:13:11,008
Shh.
256
00:13:12,811 --> 00:13:14,278
How much longer, Stan?
257
00:13:14,313 --> 00:13:16,314
Cavalia starts in ten minutes.
258
00:13:16,348 --> 00:13:17,531
We've got to be getting close.
259
00:13:17,566 --> 00:13:19,183
Look there, I see the lights.
260
00:13:24,522 --> 00:13:26,390
What the hell?!
261
00:13:26,425 --> 00:13:28,593
Stan, why did you lead us here?
262
00:13:28,627 --> 00:13:30,911
I wasn't leading.
I don't speak horse, Francine.
263
00:13:30,946 --> 00:13:32,396
I'm not Matthew Broderick.
264
00:13:32,431 --> 00:13:34,548
They must've just taken
us back to their home.
265
00:13:34,583 --> 00:13:37,234
Damn it!
They tricked us, Francine.
266
00:13:37,269 --> 00:13:39,487
Don't ever trust a horse, I guess.
267
00:13:39,521 --> 00:13:41,822
We were bound to learn
this lesson someday.
268
00:13:41,857 --> 00:13:43,391
Unfortunately, it was tonight,
269
00:13:43,425 --> 00:13:44,825
when the stakes have never been higher.
270
00:13:45,894 --> 00:13:48,946
No Cavalia, no hotel sex.
271
00:13:48,981 --> 00:13:50,531
This night is ruined.
272
00:13:50,565 --> 00:13:51,766
I'm sorry, honey.
273
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:54,318
I wanted it to be perfect.
274
00:14:03,111 --> 00:14:04,495
What are they doing?
275
00:14:04,529 --> 00:14:06,614
I think they're performing for us.
276
00:14:06,665 --> 00:14:09,617
Our own private Cavalia.
277
00:14:12,371 --> 00:14:14,005
And who needs a hotel room?
278
00:14:14,039 --> 00:14:16,223
Oh, Stan.
279
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,868
Ho, ho, Sam, I'm back, baby.
280
00:14:27,903 --> 00:14:31,238
All right, let's get cooking.
281
00:14:40,048 --> 00:14:41,515
Where the hell's the receipt?!
282
00:14:41,550 --> 00:14:44,919
Oh, no! No! No!
283
00:14:44,953 --> 00:14:48,255
Those kids screwed me!
284
00:14:49,358 --> 00:14:51,425
What the hell are you oking at?
285
00:14:56,581 --> 00:14:57,865
Have fun.
286
00:14:57,899 --> 00:14:58,916
Be safe.
287
00:14:58,950 --> 00:14:59,850
Glad you're here.
288
00:14:59,885 --> 00:15:02,486
Someone smells good.
289
00:15:10,445 --> 00:15:12,480
She... she-she
texted me!
290
00:15:12,514 --> 00:15:14,749
Oh, this is the best night of my...
291
00:15:14,783 --> 00:15:17,251
Steven Anita Smith!
292
00:15:18,253 --> 00:15:20,688
You're in big trouble, mister.
293
00:15:20,722 --> 00:15:21,856
Oh, my God.
294
00:15:21,890 --> 00:15:23,224
You're wasted.
295
00:15:23,258 --> 00:15:24,558
Yeah, I'm wasted.
296
00:15:24,593 --> 00:15:27,061
'Cause I-I, I spent
the whole night looking for you.
297
00:15:28,463 --> 00:15:30,931
Get off me!
298
00:15:32,033 --> 00:15:35,302
It's Dad!
299
00:15:35,337 --> 00:15:36,370
Give it to me.
300
00:15:36,405 --> 00:15:38,205
You're gonna get us both in trouble.
301
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:39,273
Hey, Pop!
302
00:15:39,307 --> 00:15:40,408
Steve?
303
00:15:40,442 --> 00:15:41,475
What's all that noise?
304
00:15:41,510 --> 00:15:43,811
Oh, me and Hayley
are just playing a game
305
00:15:43,845 --> 00:15:45,279
called Black Restaurant.
306
00:15:45,313 --> 00:15:46,313
Sounds fun!
307
00:15:46,348 --> 00:15:47,248
Listen, honey,
change of plans--
308
00:15:47,282 --> 00:15:48,299
we're heading home early.
309
00:15:48,333 --> 00:15:49,450
See you in an hour.
310
00:15:49,484 --> 00:15:51,102
Mom and Dad are on their way home!
311
00:15:51,136 --> 00:15:52,970
We got to get back there before they do.
312
00:15:53,004 --> 00:15:54,021
Come on!
313
00:16:00,212 --> 00:16:02,646
Hayley is a terrible babysitter.
314
00:16:02,681 --> 00:16:03,748
Lindsay would've never let
315
00:16:03,782 --> 00:16:05,883
things get this out of control.
316
00:16:05,917 --> 00:16:08,219
How can I play soccer with one leg?
317
00:16:08,253 --> 00:16:10,187
I'm gonna lose my scholarship.
318
00:16:10,222 --> 00:16:13,057
Lindsay, you don't have to
worry about any of that.
319
00:16:13,091 --> 00:16:15,493
I... I don't?
320
00:16:15,527 --> 00:16:18,462
No, because the infection
has spread to your heart.
321
00:16:18,497 --> 00:16:20,397
You'll be dead within 24 hours.
322
00:16:23,101 --> 00:16:24,435
Whoa!
323
00:16:24,469 --> 00:16:29,540
Well, I guess that's
within 24 hours, so...
324
00:16:29,574 --> 00:16:32,109
still a pretty good doctor!
325
00:16:36,622 --> 00:16:37,684
Keep puking, Hayley,
326
00:16:37,736 --> 00:16:38,937
while your 14-year-old brother
327
00:16:38,971 --> 00:16:40,522
drives your stoned husband's van.
328
00:16:40,573 --> 00:16:41,573
Real responsible.
329
00:16:41,607 --> 00:16:43,074
This is all your fault.
330
00:16:43,108 --> 00:16:45,660
Mom and Dad are never
gonna trust me again.
331
00:16:47,145 --> 00:16:48,363
Pull over!
332
00:16:48,397 --> 00:16:50,498
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! What do I do?
333
00:16:50,533 --> 00:16:52,333
Just try to act older.
334
00:16:55,070 --> 00:16:56,437
Evening, Officer.
335
00:16:56,472 --> 00:16:58,306
Do you know why I pulled you over?
336
00:16:58,340 --> 00:17:01,442
Probably 'cause I prefer
the feel of a real newspaper.
337
00:17:01,477 --> 00:17:02,810
You're doing great.
338
00:17:02,845 --> 00:17:04,112
Let's go down the list:
339
00:17:04,146 --> 00:17:06,314
Tags expired, too young to drive,
340
00:17:06,348 --> 00:17:09,083
the drunk prostitute next to you
isn't wearing her seat belt.
341
00:17:09,118 --> 00:17:11,019
Hey!
342
00:17:11,053 --> 00:17:13,688
And it reeks of marijuana in here.
343
00:17:13,722 --> 00:17:15,773
That's me; that's mine.
344
00:17:15,808 --> 00:17:17,642
You're doing great.
345
00:17:17,676 --> 00:17:19,878
All right, everybody out of the car.
346
00:17:24,917 --> 00:17:28,086
I'm gonna kill you kids!
347
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:29,704
What?! Why?!
348
00:17:29,738 --> 00:17:31,422
We had a deal.
349
00:17:31,457 --> 00:17:33,825
You said the receipt
350
00:17:33,859 --> 00:17:35,894
was in the bag.
351
00:17:35,928 --> 00:17:37,695
This is about the receipt?
352
00:17:37,713 --> 00:17:39,047
I can get it!
353
00:17:40,633 --> 00:17:43,167
Jenny!
Hey, it's me, Funny Cutie.
354
00:17:43,201 --> 00:17:45,420
Can I swing by?
355
00:17:45,471 --> 00:17:47,221
Oh, it's too late?
356
00:17:47,256 --> 00:17:50,391
Um, well, can I at least
get your address
357
00:17:50,426 --> 00:17:53,061
so I can send you a fruit bouquet?
358
00:17:53,095 --> 00:17:56,281
Oh, those are wonderful.
359
00:17:59,618 --> 00:18:00,752
Hey, beautiful.
360
00:18:00,786 --> 00:18:03,454
W-What the hell is...
Shh...
361
00:18:03,489 --> 00:18:06,691
Baby, baby, baby, it's your boy, Steve.
362
00:18:06,725 --> 00:18:08,660
Where is it?!
363
00:18:08,694 --> 00:18:10,862
I-I need that receipt
I wrote my number on!
364
00:18:12,965 --> 00:18:14,399
Whew!
365
00:18:14,433 --> 00:18:17,535
Guys, hey, let me just say
I'm totally sorry, okay?
366
00:18:17,569 --> 00:18:18,736
You know what the thing is?
367
00:18:18,771 --> 00:18:21,005
I'm, like, really OCD
about my accounting,
368
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:22,340
and I'm on a ton of meth,
369
00:18:22,374 --> 00:18:24,342
so, you know, I'm kind of erratic.
370
00:18:27,746 --> 00:18:29,781
You know, maybe this is
a wake-up call for me.
371
00:18:29,815 --> 00:18:31,616
I got to clean myself up, right?
372
00:18:31,650 --> 00:18:33,384
I should go back to school...
373
00:18:36,989 --> 00:18:38,990
Oh, my God, what have I done?
374
00:18:39,024 --> 00:18:41,909
This gun, I've never even
fired it before!
375
00:18:41,944 --> 00:18:44,212
I heard Jennifer scream
and everything went blank,
376
00:18:44,246 --> 00:18:46,080
and I killed a man!
377
00:18:46,115 --> 00:18:49,283
Who am I to take a life?!
378
00:18:49,318 --> 00:18:52,186
Am I beast or man?
379
00:18:52,221 --> 00:18:54,656
Beast!
380
00:18:54,690 --> 00:18:56,791
Daddy!
381
00:19:00,529 --> 00:19:03,264
Nooooo!
382
00:19:03,298 --> 00:19:06,234
Geez, get me out of here, huh?
383
00:19:12,558 --> 00:19:14,809
Whew! Thank God they're
not back yet.
384
00:19:14,843 --> 00:19:16,427
You guys should head home.
385
00:19:17,946 --> 00:19:21,833
So, we're not reporting any of
the murders we saw tonight?
386
00:19:21,867 --> 00:19:25,436
I'm cool with that, I'm just checking.
387
00:19:25,471 --> 00:19:27,338
Whoo! I'm out of gas.
388
00:19:27,373 --> 00:19:29,107
See you all in the morning.
389
00:19:30,909 --> 00:19:34,178
That's a folksy way
to say you're tired, huh?
390
00:19:34,213 --> 00:19:35,246
I like that.
391
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:36,814
Out of gas.
392
00:19:38,217 --> 00:19:39,684
Mom's car!
393
00:19:42,388 --> 00:19:43,955
I-I can't believe this.
394
00:19:43,989 --> 00:19:47,875
Mom and Dad were right--
I am irresponsible.
395
00:19:47,926 --> 00:19:50,461
I kind of didn't make it
any easier for you.
396
00:19:50,495 --> 00:19:52,346
But the only reason I snuck out
397
00:19:52,381 --> 00:19:53,881
was 'cause you called me a dweeb.
398
00:19:53,932 --> 00:19:55,883
I wanted to prove you wrong.
399
00:19:57,886 --> 00:20:00,555
Oh, my God-- horses.
400
00:20:02,574 --> 00:20:05,443
They're coming!
401
00:20:08,714 --> 00:20:09,947
We're screwed.
402
00:20:09,982 --> 00:20:12,216
We'll never make it without a miracle.
403
00:20:25,748 --> 00:20:28,750
Goal!
404
00:20:36,492 --> 00:20:37,625
Hey, Mom, hey, Dad...
405
00:20:37,659 --> 00:20:38,793
Finger's up, shut up.
406
00:20:38,827 --> 00:20:41,362
How was she?
407
00:20:41,396 --> 00:20:44,031
You're supposed to ask
the babysitter how the kid was.
408
00:20:44,066 --> 00:20:45,066
Bup-bup-bup!
409
00:20:45,100 --> 00:20:46,234
Steve?
410
00:20:47,619 --> 00:20:50,521
She...
411
00:20:50,556 --> 00:20:51,956
She did great.
412
00:20:51,990 --> 00:20:53,291
Really responsible.
413
00:20:55,828 --> 00:20:57,562
I can't stop!