1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,208 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:19,921 --> 00:00:22,800 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 3 00:00:22,835 --> 00:00:24,786 ♪ Good... ♪ ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 4 00:00:24,837 --> 00:00:26,320 Aah! 5 00:00:27,623 --> 00:00:30,842 ♪ Good morning, USA! ♪ 6 00:00:33,578 --> 00:00:35,763 ♪ I'm gonna eat some bread ♪ 7 00:00:35,798 --> 00:00:37,882 ♪ Gonna eat my potato bread ♪ 8 00:00:37,916 --> 00:00:41,586 ♪ Gonna eat some p-o-t-a-t-o-to-to bread ♪ 9 00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:43,488 ♪ Potato bread! ♪ 10 00:00:47,611 --> 00:00:49,562 You worthless piece of. 11 00:00:49,596 --> 00:00:50,863 Excuse me? 12 00:00:50,897 --> 00:00:52,014 Excuse you? 13 00:00:52,048 --> 00:00:54,266 For eating the rest of my potato bread? 14 00:00:54,284 --> 00:00:56,402 I made that myself and you know I didn't. 15 00:00:56,436 --> 00:00:57,703 Roger, I... 16 00:00:57,737 --> 00:01:01,207 Wai-wai-wai-wai-wai- wai-wai-wai-wai-wait-wait. 17 00:01:01,241 --> 00:01:03,509 Wait. Wait. No. 18 00:01:03,543 --> 00:01:05,653 How dare you?! 19 00:01:05,773 --> 00:01:07,306 I've been working my tail off 20 00:01:07,426 --> 00:01:09,728 trying to get my lounge bar up and running, 21 00:01:09,762 --> 00:01:11,529 and you just sit there all day 22 00:01:11,564 --> 00:01:13,098 breathing through your mannish mouth, 23 00:01:13,132 --> 00:01:15,483 itching your lumpy butt with your gorilla arms! 24 00:01:15,518 --> 00:01:17,102 What?! I said I hate you! 25 00:01:17,136 --> 00:01:18,403 In Hayley's defense, 26 00:01:18,437 --> 00:01:21,006 she's been a bit extra mopey lately because of Jeff. 27 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:22,334 He got a job on The Deadliest Catch, 28 00:01:22,454 --> 00:01:23,810 and she worries for him. 29 00:01:23,930 --> 00:01:25,877 Oh, please. The Deadliest Catch? 30 00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:27,746 They're just fishing for crab. 31 00:01:27,780 --> 00:01:29,358 You want to talk about deadly catches, 32 00:01:29,478 --> 00:01:31,033 let's talk about catching AIDS. 33 00:01:31,153 --> 00:01:34,148 Or a baseball thrown by superstar pitcher Randy Johnson. 34 00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:37,260 What about an AIDS ball thrown by Randy Johnson? 35 00:01:37,378 --> 00:01:39,713 Oh, I like that. 36 00:01:39,747 --> 00:01:41,998 Hello, Mark Burnett? This is Roger Smith. 37 00:01:42,033 --> 00:01:44,100 What about a show with Randy Johnson 38 00:01:44,135 --> 00:01:46,736 throwing AIDS-covered baseballs at people? 39 00:01:46,771 --> 00:01:48,505 Uh-huh. 40 00:01:48,539 --> 00:01:50,273 Uh-huh! 41 00:01:50,308 --> 00:01:52,275 Okay! 42 00:01:52,310 --> 00:01:55,378 It was the wrong Mark Burnett. 43 00:01:57,982 --> 00:02:00,884 Here's my next car, Francine. 44 00:02:00,918 --> 00:02:03,003 The new Hummie C.O.K. Guzzler. 45 00:02:03,037 --> 00:02:05,539 It runs on carbon, oxygen and potassium. 46 00:02:05,573 --> 00:02:06,807 Oh, yeah... 47 00:02:06,841 --> 00:02:09,176 the chemical symbol for potassium is K. 48 00:02:09,210 --> 00:02:11,478 Boy, my chemistry is a little rusty, 49 00:02:11,512 --> 00:02:14,314 but wouldn't it run cleaner if they added 50 00:02:14,348 --> 00:02:16,716 another carbon molecule before the potassium? 51 00:02:16,751 --> 00:02:20,787 Then it would guzzle C.O.C.K. 52 00:02:20,822 --> 00:02:23,723 I don't know what you're talking about. 53 00:02:23,758 --> 00:02:25,959 Oh, wow, look at this sticker price. 54 00:02:25,993 --> 00:02:28,328 Can we even afford this car, Stan? 55 00:02:28,362 --> 00:02:29,529 Of course we can. 56 00:02:29,564 --> 00:02:30,931 The trade-in value of my SUV 57 00:02:30,965 --> 00:02:33,333 will cover a ton of the cost. Watch this. 58 00:02:33,367 --> 00:02:34,818 Felix. 59 00:02:34,852 --> 00:02:37,020 Felix, I would like to get 15 grand 60 00:02:37,054 --> 00:02:39,289 for the SUV you sold me a while back 61 00:02:39,323 --> 00:02:41,191 and put it towards a C.O.K. Guzzler. 62 00:02:41,225 --> 00:02:43,660 Stan, I'd love to get you started guzzling C.O.K., 63 00:02:43,694 --> 00:02:45,896 but I'm afraid the Blue Book for your vehicle 64 00:02:45,930 --> 00:02:47,597 is barely $10,000. 65 00:02:47,632 --> 00:02:49,199 I couldn't do any more than that. 66 00:02:54,021 --> 00:02:56,256 I'll grant you, sometimes my face smells bad, 67 00:02:56,290 --> 00:02:59,759 but that doesn't mean my head's firmly planted in my ass, Felix. 68 00:02:59,794 --> 00:03:01,328 I can't go over $10,000. 69 00:03:03,364 --> 00:03:05,031 I know this car can get fifteen, 70 00:03:05,066 --> 00:03:06,967 and I'm not settling for a penny less. 71 00:03:07,001 --> 00:03:08,301 I'll just sell it myself. 72 00:03:08,336 --> 00:03:10,237 Oh, no, Stan, really? 73 00:03:10,271 --> 00:03:11,338 Are you sure? 74 00:03:11,372 --> 00:03:12,606 Yes, I'm sure. 75 00:03:13,641 --> 00:03:16,009 Wh-What is, what is that smell? 76 00:03:16,043 --> 00:03:20,313 I think it's your face. 77 00:03:22,850 --> 00:03:26,253 This place is just what Langley Falls needs. 78 00:03:26,287 --> 00:03:28,722 A chic lounge environment for young professionals. 79 00:03:28,756 --> 00:03:30,390 If they need it so much, 80 00:03:30,424 --> 00:03:32,726 how come there's nobody here? 81 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:36,263 I'm gonna eat you one day. 82 00:03:40,268 --> 00:03:42,802 My bar is dead. It doesn't make sense. 83 00:03:42,837 --> 00:03:45,055 I co-wrote City Slickers with Babaloo Mandel 84 00:03:45,089 --> 00:03:46,590 but I can't do this? 85 00:03:47,692 --> 00:03:50,143 We need a, we need a draw. We need a hook. 86 00:03:50,177 --> 00:03:52,512 ♪ There's a saying old ♪ 87 00:03:52,546 --> 00:03:55,949 ♪ Says that love is blind ♪ 88 00:03:55,983 --> 00:03:58,485 ♪ Still we're often told, ♪ 89 00:03:58,519 --> 00:04:01,421 ♪ "Seek and ye shall find..." ♪ 90 00:04:01,455 --> 00:04:02,622 My dear Lord. 91 00:04:02,657 --> 00:04:04,791 ♪ So I'm going to seek ♪ 92 00:04:04,825 --> 00:04:07,794 ♪ A certain lad I had ♪ 93 00:04:07,828 --> 00:04:11,298 ♪ In mind ♪ 94 00:04:11,349 --> 00:04:13,099 ♪ Looking everywhere ♪ 95 00:04:13,134 --> 00:04:15,635 ♪ Haven't found him yet ♪ 96 00:04:15,686 --> 00:04:17,854 ♪ He's the big affair ♪ 97 00:04:17,888 --> 00:04:21,574 ♪ I cannot forget ♪ 98 00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:24,844 ♪ Only man I ever think of ♪ 99 00:04:24,879 --> 00:04:27,814 ♪ With regret... ♪ 100 00:04:28,933 --> 00:04:30,099 Roger! Oh, relax. 101 00:04:30,117 --> 00:04:32,085 It's nothing I haven't seen before. 102 00:04:35,790 --> 00:04:37,390 You perv, get out of here! 103 00:04:37,425 --> 00:04:39,492 I'll leave, after I tell you this: 104 00:04:39,527 --> 00:04:42,228 You just got a job singing in my lounge. 105 00:04:42,263 --> 00:04:43,697 Really? Shut up. 106 00:04:43,731 --> 00:04:45,932 I want you there tomorrow night wearing something amazing. 107 00:04:45,967 --> 00:04:47,400 Oh, and don't worry about the camera. 108 00:04:47,435 --> 00:04:48,668 It's made of chocolate. 109 00:04:48,703 --> 00:04:50,186 Ow! Oh, that's right, 110 00:04:50,221 --> 00:04:53,073 it's the toilet camera that's chocolate. 111 00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:01,548 Oh, boy, that's on film. 112 00:05:08,239 --> 00:05:09,806 Francine, I just posted an ad 113 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:12,075 for my SUV on Craigslist. 114 00:05:12,109 --> 00:05:13,843 Ooh, any responses yet? 115 00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:15,178 Let's see here. 116 00:05:15,212 --> 00:05:17,313 Oh, looks like I've got three. 117 00:05:17,348 --> 00:05:19,983 And they're all for anonymous sex. 118 00:05:20,017 --> 00:05:23,136 Maybe it's because I wrote, "Smooth ride, oversized trunk, 119 00:05:23,170 --> 00:05:24,771 lubed and ready to go." 120 00:05:24,805 --> 00:05:28,324 Shouldn't have had that wine before I wrote this. 121 00:05:32,863 --> 00:05:34,931 Good, you're here and you don't look terrible. 122 00:05:34,965 --> 00:05:36,032 Miracle. 123 00:05:36,067 --> 00:05:37,884 I'm actually looking forward to this. 124 00:05:37,918 --> 00:05:41,554 This is just the distraction I need while Jeff is at sea. 125 00:05:41,605 --> 00:05:44,257 And what's my distraction from your boring stories? 126 00:05:44,291 --> 00:05:46,893 Hit it, Stelio, you Greek genius! 127 00:05:51,265 --> 00:05:54,334 ♪ Another bride ♪ 128 00:05:54,368 --> 00:05:57,320 ♪ Another June ♪ 129 00:05:57,354 --> 00:06:02,876 ♪ Another sunny honeymoon ♪ 130 00:06:02,910 --> 00:06:05,194 ♪ Another season ♪ 131 00:06:05,212 --> 00:06:08,181 ♪ Another reason ♪ 132 00:06:08,215 --> 00:06:11,835 ♪ For making whoopee ♪ 133 00:06:13,971 --> 00:06:16,038 ♪ A lot of shoes ♪ 134 00:06:16,057 --> 00:06:18,641 ♪ A lot of rice ♪ 135 00:06:18,676 --> 00:06:21,711 ♪ The groom is nervous ♪ 136 00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:24,213 ♪ He answers twice ♪ 137 00:06:24,231 --> 00:06:26,716 ♪ It's really killin' ♪ 138 00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:29,652 ♪ That he's so willin' ♪ 139 00:06:29,687 --> 00:06:33,289 ♪ To make whoopee ♪ 140 00:06:35,326 --> 00:06:41,548 ♪ Picture a little love nest ♪ 141 00:06:41,582 --> 00:06:46,703 ♪ Down where the roses cling... ♪ 142 00:06:48,672 --> 00:06:50,340 Not bad last night. 143 00:06:50,374 --> 00:06:51,708 Here's your cut. 144 00:06:51,742 --> 00:06:53,293 Maybe you should buy a new bra with it. 145 00:06:53,344 --> 00:06:55,845 When you shimmy, your boobs are kind of all over the place. 146 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,347 You're looking at my boobs? 147 00:06:57,381 --> 00:06:58,481 What? No. 148 00:06:58,516 --> 00:07:00,266 If anything, I was looking at you teats 149 00:07:00,301 --> 00:07:02,435 because I think of you as my cash cow. 150 00:07:02,470 --> 00:07:05,472 I just want to milk ya! Milky, milky, milky! 151 00:07:05,523 --> 00:07:07,957 Roger, quit! Okay, sensitive. 152 00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:10,493 Boy, you smell bad today. Did you just fart? 153 00:07:10,528 --> 00:07:12,195 You know I didn't fart, Roger. 154 00:07:12,229 --> 00:07:14,097 It smells like you did. 155 00:07:14,131 --> 00:07:16,866 Smells like girl fart in here. 156 00:07:16,901 --> 00:07:18,401 Pumpkin bread. 157 00:07:18,435 --> 00:07:21,371 Right. Anyway, thanks for the money. 158 00:07:21,405 --> 00:07:23,039 Nah, nah, nah money. 159 00:07:23,073 --> 00:07:25,375 So stupid. 160 00:07:25,409 --> 00:07:27,210 Uh, what was that? 161 00:07:27,244 --> 00:07:29,078 What? I'm always mean to Haley. 162 00:07:29,113 --> 00:07:30,797 Yeah, but usually you're genuinely mean. 163 00:07:30,831 --> 00:07:33,716 This time you were playfully mean, like you're teasing her. 164 00:07:33,751 --> 00:07:35,451 So what? So what? 165 00:07:35,486 --> 00:07:36,920 So everything! 166 00:07:36,954 --> 00:07:38,321 When a boy teases a girl, 167 00:07:38,355 --> 00:07:40,356 it's a sign he has a crush on her. 168 00:07:40,391 --> 00:07:42,025 The same way that hot dogs for dinner 169 00:07:42,059 --> 00:07:43,993 is a sign that Mom's overwhelmed by her period. 170 00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:45,228 Are you kidding me?! 171 00:07:45,262 --> 00:07:47,163 You think I have a crush on Haley?! 172 00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:51,267 Now I do! 173 00:07:51,302 --> 00:07:54,404 No way! She's a piece of crap, Steve. I swear! 174 00:07:54,438 --> 00:07:56,673 Yeah, she is kind of a piece of crap. 175 00:07:56,707 --> 00:07:58,675 Don't you talk about her that way. 176 00:07:58,709 --> 00:08:00,176 Trapped ya! 177 00:08:00,211 --> 00:08:02,545 Oh, boy. 178 00:08:07,595 --> 00:08:09,195 I can't believe I'm in love with Haley. 179 00:08:09,229 --> 00:08:11,064 I don't want to be in love with her, 180 00:08:11,098 --> 00:08:12,498 she's your sister, she's married, 181 00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:13,499 she's... Haley. 182 00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:15,201 Relax. First of all, 183 00:08:15,235 --> 00:08:17,770 you're not in love, you just have a crush. 184 00:08:17,805 --> 00:08:19,305 Happens to me all the time. 185 00:08:19,340 --> 00:08:21,074 The good news is, it'll pass. 186 00:08:21,108 --> 00:08:23,643 In the mean time, you just need a distraction. 187 00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:24,677 Like-like a hobby. 188 00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:26,012 Maybe turn to exercise. 189 00:08:26,046 --> 00:08:28,464 Focus on building core strength. 190 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,568 Those look angry. 191 00:08:32,603 --> 00:08:34,988 Okay, just a crush; I'll get over this. 192 00:08:35,022 --> 00:08:36,456 What's a good hobby? 193 00:08:36,490 --> 00:08:39,859 Got a bunch of string that's not doing anything. 194 00:08:43,213 --> 00:08:45,214 Ah! 195 00:08:49,336 --> 00:08:50,853 Hey, you. 196 00:08:50,888 --> 00:08:52,972 Uh, hey, you. 197 00:08:53,006 --> 00:08:55,308 "Hey, me!" You flipped it on me. 198 00:08:59,179 --> 00:09:00,863 Look, I just wanted to say thanks 199 00:09:00,898 --> 00:09:02,548 for letting me sing at your bar. 200 00:09:04,485 --> 00:09:06,452 I mean, I'm no Christina Aguilera, 201 00:09:06,487 --> 00:09:08,554 but, you know, when I'm up there, 202 00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:11,057 I really feel like a star. 203 00:09:11,091 --> 00:09:12,959 Ha! What're, what are you doing? 204 00:09:12,993 --> 00:09:15,378 I-I don't know what you're doing. 205 00:09:15,412 --> 00:09:17,347 I don't-- You're so weird, God! 206 00:09:21,719 --> 00:09:23,903 This isn't passing; it's getting worse. 207 00:09:23,937 --> 00:09:26,339 Time for a trip to the dentist. 208 00:09:32,346 --> 00:09:34,063 Crap! 209 00:09:34,098 --> 00:09:36,149 I must've grabbed the helium tank! 210 00:09:39,319 --> 00:09:40,753 Hi, I'm here about the SUV. 211 00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:42,105 Of course you are. 212 00:09:42,156 --> 00:09:43,823 What's you name, pilgrim? Darrin. 213 00:09:43,857 --> 00:09:45,441 Darrin! You married, Darrin? 214 00:09:45,476 --> 00:09:47,110 Divorced. Bitches, right? 215 00:09:47,144 --> 00:09:48,861 As you can see, Darrin, she's fully loaded. 216 00:09:48,895 --> 00:09:50,179 She's got a turn-key ignition system. 217 00:09:50,214 --> 00:09:51,914 Just put the key in the key hole, 218 00:09:51,949 --> 00:09:53,449 turn it a bit to the right, 219 00:09:53,484 --> 00:09:55,852 and she'll start right up in, like, a second. 220 00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:57,754 What do you say? How's 15K sound? 221 00:09:57,788 --> 00:09:59,155 15K, ooh... 222 00:09:59,189 --> 00:10:01,557 How about 10K? The divorce was kind of hard on me, 223 00:10:01,592 --> 00:10:02,859 you know what I mean? 224 00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:04,060 We're not friends here, Darrin. 225 00:10:04,094 --> 00:10:05,395 Bitches, remember? 226 00:10:05,429 --> 00:10:07,246 You're a bitch, Darrin. Get off my property. 227 00:10:15,389 --> 00:10:18,357 What are you?! 228 00:10:21,211 --> 00:10:22,762 Jeff, get over here 229 00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:24,930 and help me pull in these traps! 230 00:10:24,948 --> 00:10:27,450 You said it wasn't gonna to rain today! 231 00:10:27,484 --> 00:10:29,018 I can't watch anymore of this. 232 00:10:29,053 --> 00:10:30,787 Aah, it makes me too nervous. 233 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,224 Sorry. Oh, sorry. 234 00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:36,325 Okay. Whoops. 235 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,027 Oh, no, we did it again! 236 00:10:38,062 --> 00:10:40,663 I'm gonna go this way. No... That one was my fault. 237 00:10:40,697 --> 00:10:42,815 Y-You just stand still. 238 00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:44,901 N-No... Okay, this is a mess. 239 00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:46,919 Okay, all right, let's both go left. 240 00:10:46,954 --> 00:10:48,304 No... It's still happening! 241 00:10:48,338 --> 00:10:49,839 That's your right! This is ridiculous. 242 00:10:49,873 --> 00:10:50,907 Oh, my God! 243 00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,592 Roger, get out of the way! 244 00:10:52,626 --> 00:10:54,577 Oh, I splooged a little. 245 00:10:58,415 --> 00:11:00,149 God, I'm shaking. 246 00:11:00,184 --> 00:11:01,184 What's wrong with you, man? 247 00:11:01,218 --> 00:11:02,819 I think I love Hayley. 248 00:11:02,853 --> 00:11:04,320 Dude, seriously? 249 00:11:04,354 --> 00:11:07,507 With Francine "Cans McGee" struttin' around this place? 250 00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:10,660 Every time I see her, I turn into a complete idiot. 251 00:11:10,694 --> 00:11:13,663 These feelings are too intense; this has to stop! 252 00:11:13,697 --> 00:11:15,364 Easy, King Cobra. 253 00:11:15,399 --> 00:11:18,534 Look, why don't you just remove yourself from her presence? 254 00:11:18,569 --> 00:11:19,702 How am I supposed to do that? 255 00:11:19,736 --> 00:11:21,571 She sings in my club every night! 256 00:11:21,605 --> 00:11:23,539 Hmm... I got it. 257 00:11:23,574 --> 00:11:25,741 I'll fire her for you. 258 00:11:25,776 --> 00:11:27,877 I'll do it like an American businessman. 259 00:11:27,911 --> 00:11:29,112 "I'm sorry, ma'am. 260 00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:30,963 "The economy has taken a turn, 261 00:11:30,998 --> 00:11:32,732 "and we've been forced to downsize. 262 00:11:32,766 --> 00:11:34,233 I'm gonna need your key card." 263 00:11:34,268 --> 00:11:35,902 Don't do characters. 264 00:11:35,936 --> 00:11:36,969 I do characters. 265 00:11:37,004 --> 00:11:38,638 Don't do characters. 266 00:11:38,672 --> 00:11:39,839 Hup! Hup! 267 00:11:39,857 --> 00:11:40,940 Whoop! 268 00:11:40,974 --> 00:11:43,092 Hup! Whoop! Hup! Hup! 269 00:11:43,127 --> 00:11:44,560 What the hell, Klaus? 270 00:11:44,595 --> 00:11:45,595 Who are they? 271 00:11:45,629 --> 00:11:47,430 They are the Red-Man Group. 272 00:11:47,464 --> 00:11:49,132 They're your replacement. 273 00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:51,134 Roger says you're no longer welcome here. 274 00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:54,170 What? What do you mean? Roger! 275 00:11:54,204 --> 00:11:56,272 Roger, I need to talk to you. 276 00:11:56,306 --> 00:11:57,340 Hit the bricks, toots. 277 00:11:57,374 --> 00:11:58,574 You got your walking papers. 278 00:11:58,609 --> 00:11:59,675 What did I do? 279 00:11:59,710 --> 00:12:00,710 I said beat it! 280 00:12:00,744 --> 00:12:02,411 You owe me an explanation. 281 00:12:02,446 --> 00:12:03,913 I said beat it! 282 00:12:03,947 --> 00:12:05,948 You're such a jerk, Roger. 283 00:12:05,983 --> 00:12:07,917 Ugh! 284 00:12:07,951 --> 00:12:09,952 So, how much is this tape recorder? 285 00:12:09,987 --> 00:12:11,420 $17.99. 286 00:12:11,455 --> 00:12:13,356 That's great. I'm definitely gonna buy one. 287 00:12:13,390 --> 00:12:15,558 Could you check in the back and see if you have it in red? 288 00:12:15,592 --> 00:12:16,993 Sir, you can't put that in your pocket. 289 00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:18,394 Hee'yah! 290 00:12:18,428 --> 00:12:20,396 Oh! You broke my nose! 291 00:12:20,430 --> 00:12:23,833 Security! 292 00:12:23,867 --> 00:12:26,869 Oh, God, where did I park the car? 293 00:12:28,906 --> 00:12:31,824 See, what did I tell you about the leg room in the back seat? 294 00:12:31,859 --> 00:12:33,359 Very roomy. 295 00:12:33,393 --> 00:12:35,561 And it's an extremely safe first car for your daughter. 296 00:12:35,579 --> 00:12:36,996 You're a good dad. Your dad's a good dad. 297 00:12:37,030 --> 00:12:38,164 Hey, check it out. 298 00:12:38,198 --> 00:12:39,916 This thing can stop on a dime. Think fast! 299 00:12:41,602 --> 00:12:43,135 Oh... 300 00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:56,165 That's it. 301 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:57,800 Looks like a good one. 302 00:12:57,834 --> 00:12:59,969 You're doing just fine. 303 00:13:00,003 --> 00:13:01,237 Uh, what is this? 304 00:13:01,271 --> 00:13:03,172 It's Hayley on the toilet cam. 305 00:13:03,207 --> 00:13:05,608 She's having a private moment, and I'm sharing it with her. 306 00:13:05,642 --> 00:13:07,543 Okay, this is getting out of hand. 307 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,545 Avoiding Hayley clearly isn't working. 308 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:10,646 You should just talk to her. 309 00:13:10,681 --> 00:13:12,415 Get all this out in the open. 310 00:13:12,449 --> 00:13:13,449 I can't do that! 311 00:13:13,483 --> 00:13:15,518 Being emotionally honest makes me vomit! 312 00:13:15,552 --> 00:13:16,586 Sure you can. 313 00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:18,137 Just take it slow. 314 00:13:18,171 --> 00:13:20,573 Here, here, try it on me, pretend I'm Hayley. 315 00:13:20,607 --> 00:13:21,557 Okay. 316 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:23,359 Hayley, I'm in love with... 317 00:13:26,396 --> 00:13:28,631 I'm in love with you, and I can't stop thinking about... 318 00:13:34,171 --> 00:13:35,605 No food in my belly. 319 00:13:35,639 --> 00:13:38,140 Let me try again. Hayley, you're such an angel... 320 00:13:39,243 --> 00:13:40,276 Oh, that's great, Steve. 321 00:13:40,310 --> 00:13:41,510 You owe me an underwear. 322 00:13:41,545 --> 00:13:43,312 Look, you can't keep avoiding her. 323 00:13:43,347 --> 00:13:44,680 You live in the same house. 324 00:13:44,715 --> 00:13:46,949 You're her notary public for God's sake. 325 00:13:46,984 --> 00:13:48,351 I'm not licensed. 326 00:13:48,385 --> 00:13:50,152 She knows that. 327 00:13:50,187 --> 00:13:51,787 Look, just talk to her. 328 00:13:51,822 --> 00:13:53,789 Trust me, you guys will have a big laugh 329 00:13:53,824 --> 00:13:56,225 about it, and all the awkwardness will go away. 330 00:13:56,260 --> 00:13:57,293 What if I can't do it? 331 00:13:57,327 --> 00:13:58,527 What if I freak out? 332 00:13:58,562 --> 00:13:59,562 You'll be fine. 333 00:13:59,596 --> 00:14:00,563 I promise. 334 00:14:00,597 --> 00:14:01,564 Okay, Steve. 335 00:14:01,598 --> 00:14:02,682 I'm gonna trust you. 336 00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:04,567 And I'm serious about the underwear. 337 00:14:04,601 --> 00:14:06,285 I want an exact replacement. 338 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:07,853 Underoos, extra-large. 339 00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:09,889 Skid-marked to hell. 340 00:14:13,527 --> 00:14:15,294 Hello? Was that a knock? 341 00:14:15,329 --> 00:14:17,997 It's me, Roger. 342 00:14:25,272 --> 00:14:28,741 Hayley, I've got something I need to tell you. 343 00:14:28,775 --> 00:14:30,810 What is it, Roger, you gonna fire me again? 344 00:14:30,844 --> 00:14:33,612 No, unh, unh, I'm not, 345 00:14:33,647 --> 00:14:37,650 unh, you don't understand, unh. 346 00:14:37,684 --> 00:14:39,552 Roger, what is going on with you? 347 00:14:39,586 --> 00:14:41,654 Well, uh, it's just... 348 00:14:41,688 --> 00:14:44,190 Hayley, I'm in love with you! 349 00:14:44,224 --> 00:14:47,226 What? O... Oh, oh. 350 00:14:47,260 --> 00:14:49,829 That's why you've been acting so weird. 351 00:14:49,863 --> 00:14:51,497 Oh, Roger. 352 00:14:51,531 --> 00:14:53,565 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 353 00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:54,930 So... 354 00:14:55,050 --> 00:14:58,037 So? Oh, oh... 355 00:14:58,071 --> 00:15:00,272 Oh, no, Roger, we're friends. 356 00:15:00,307 --> 00:15:03,275 I mean, I'm flattered, but you know I'm married. 357 00:15:03,310 --> 00:15:05,261 Yes, yes, yeah. 358 00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:07,096 I did. I did know that. 359 00:15:07,130 --> 00:15:10,983 I'm sorry. Oh, hey, never apologize for how you feel. 360 00:15:11,018 --> 00:15:12,952 That's all we got, right? 361 00:15:12,986 --> 00:15:15,171 All right, well, fantastic, then. 362 00:15:18,241 --> 00:15:21,527 Roger, what are you-- no! 363 00:15:21,561 --> 00:15:23,863 Steve, I freaked out! 364 00:15:28,632 --> 00:15:30,283 Urgent medical jargon, stat! 365 00:15:30,317 --> 00:15:31,501 Roger, what the hell were you thinking?! 366 00:15:31,535 --> 00:15:32,635 I don't know! 367 00:15:32,653 --> 00:15:34,303 I was overwhelmed with emotion! 368 00:15:34,321 --> 00:15:35,972 So you shot me?! 369 00:15:35,990 --> 00:15:38,441 I'm sorry! Something snapped in me. 370 00:15:38,475 --> 00:15:41,160 I opened up my soul to you, and when you rejected me, 371 00:15:41,195 --> 00:15:43,379 I-I guess I couldn't handle it. 372 00:15:45,416 --> 00:15:49,269 I could totally see her bra through the gunshot hole. 373 00:15:55,309 --> 00:15:57,143 Hey, sleepyhead. 374 00:15:57,177 --> 00:15:58,478 Why would they let you in here? 375 00:15:58,512 --> 00:16:00,446 I gave birth to my daughters here. 376 00:16:00,481 --> 00:16:01,881 Oh, I got you this. 377 00:16:01,916 --> 00:16:03,917 I feel really bad about what I did. 378 00:16:03,951 --> 00:16:07,086 I haven't slept in seven hours, not counting naps. 379 00:16:07,121 --> 00:16:09,789 Anyway, I hope this gift can at least begin 380 00:16:09,823 --> 00:16:11,124 to make up for what I've done. 381 00:16:11,158 --> 00:16:13,493 I don't want your stupid gift. 382 00:16:13,527 --> 00:16:14,827 I'll open it for you. 383 00:16:16,363 --> 00:16:18,631 It's Christina Aguilera's larynx! 384 00:16:18,666 --> 00:16:20,016 Ugh! Get it away from me! 385 00:16:20,050 --> 00:16:21,451 What's going on? 386 00:16:21,485 --> 00:16:22,518 Back to sleep. 387 00:16:22,553 --> 00:16:23,820 Remember how you said 388 00:16:23,854 --> 00:16:26,089 you wished you could sing like Christina Aguilera? 389 00:16:26,123 --> 00:16:27,457 Well, now you can! 390 00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:39,502 Anyway, it's a really good gift because I love you. 391 00:16:39,536 --> 00:16:40,870 This isn't love, Roger. 392 00:16:40,904 --> 00:16:41,871 Yuh-huh! 393 00:16:41,905 --> 00:16:43,306 You tried to kill me. 394 00:16:43,340 --> 00:16:45,341 People who are in love don't do that. 395 00:16:45,376 --> 00:16:47,043 They, they want to spend time together. 396 00:16:47,077 --> 00:16:49,379 They want to be as close to each other as possible. 397 00:16:49,413 --> 00:16:52,782 Let's do that! We're gonna do your thing! 398 00:16:52,816 --> 00:16:54,050 Oh, no. 399 00:16:54,084 --> 00:16:56,719 Ro-Roger, whatever you're thinking there, 400 00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:58,154 whatever you're doing, please just don't... 401 00:17:02,743 --> 00:17:04,477 Morning, snowflake. 402 00:17:04,511 --> 00:17:05,878 What the hell are you doing, Roger? 403 00:17:05,913 --> 00:17:07,013 You're scaring me. 404 00:17:07,047 --> 00:17:08,247 No-no-no, no-no-no, it's good. 405 00:17:08,282 --> 00:17:09,465 It's good. 406 00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:11,567 I just want to be as close to you as possible. 407 00:17:11,602 --> 00:17:14,704 Like John and Yoko. 408 00:17:14,738 --> 00:17:16,873 You're Yoko. 409 00:17:16,907 --> 00:17:19,776 Can't get close enough. 410 00:17:19,810 --> 00:17:22,545 Don't you hate that we're two separate people? 411 00:17:22,579 --> 00:17:23,880 Roger, take me home! 412 00:17:23,914 --> 00:17:27,050 Aah, just want to burrow into you like a love tick. 413 00:17:27,084 --> 00:17:31,421 I want us to be one person: two hearts inside one skin. 414 00:17:31,455 --> 00:17:33,339 That's it! Oh, no. 415 00:17:33,374 --> 00:17:34,841 Roger, whatever you're thinking... 416 00:17:34,875 --> 00:17:38,227 I'm gonna cut off your skin and drape it all over my body! 417 00:17:38,262 --> 00:17:39,545 Help...! 418 00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:41,731 Ooh, I'm gonna go get my tools! 419 00:17:41,765 --> 00:17:43,783 Right after I do a flip. 420 00:17:45,302 --> 00:17:46,669 No, I'm not gonna do it. 421 00:17:46,704 --> 00:17:49,305 I'm actually gonna get off the bed really carefully. 422 00:17:52,793 --> 00:17:55,762 Oh, my God, I did the flip! 423 00:17:55,796 --> 00:17:57,764 You didn't see me, but I did it! 424 00:17:57,798 --> 00:18:00,066 Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, 425 00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:02,502 welcome to the greatest showroom on Earth! 426 00:18:02,536 --> 00:18:04,837 We got thrills... 427 00:18:04,872 --> 00:18:06,039 we got chills... 428 00:18:07,441 --> 00:18:09,575 ...and we got a like-new set of wheels! 429 00:18:12,429 --> 00:18:14,464 Stan, Hayley's been shot! 430 00:18:14,498 --> 00:18:16,232 So what? She shot me before. 431 00:18:16,266 --> 00:18:17,299 I've shot you a couple times. 432 00:18:17,317 --> 00:18:18,351 Everybody shoots everybody. 433 00:18:18,402 --> 00:18:20,787 It's how we communicate in this family. 434 00:18:20,821 --> 00:18:23,523 All right, I'll tell her you asked about her. 435 00:18:23,557 --> 00:18:24,757 You tell her whatever you want, 436 00:18:24,792 --> 00:18:26,693 but that's not how it went down. 437 00:18:26,727 --> 00:18:27,960 What's going on here?! 438 00:18:27,995 --> 00:18:29,479 Well, I guess it's time 439 00:18:29,513 --> 00:18:32,448 to let the cat out of the bag. 440 00:18:37,171 --> 00:18:38,871 He's getting too close! 441 00:18:38,922 --> 00:18:41,324 The SUV's not for you, Lion! 442 00:18:41,358 --> 00:18:43,659 This fine American automobile is gonna go 443 00:18:43,694 --> 00:18:45,762 to one of these lucky individuals. 444 00:18:45,796 --> 00:18:48,097 Shall we start the bidding at 15,000? 445 00:18:48,132 --> 00:18:49,298 Sir! Excuse me! Hey, look! 446 00:18:49,332 --> 00:18:50,433 Whoa, started too low. 447 00:18:50,467 --> 00:18:51,434 Do I hear 20? 448 00:18:51,468 --> 00:18:52,468 Hey, hey, buddy! 449 00:18:52,502 --> 00:18:53,553 We've got 20 right here. 450 00:18:53,604 --> 00:18:54,570 What about 25? 451 00:18:54,605 --> 00:18:55,671 Your lion! 452 00:18:55,706 --> 00:18:57,373 I'm not lyin'! Do I hear 30?! 453 00:18:57,408 --> 00:18:58,941 Oh, my God. Hel-l-lp! 454 00:18:58,976 --> 00:19:00,643 You're doing great! Do I hear 40?! 455 00:19:00,677 --> 00:19:01,644 Hello! Hey! 456 00:19:01,678 --> 00:19:02,729 40, 45, 50. 457 00:19:02,763 --> 00:19:04,564 Do I hear 60? Hey, sir. 458 00:19:29,239 --> 00:19:32,275 This just got real, didn't it, seeing all these tools? 459 00:19:33,310 --> 00:19:34,277 Hayley! 460 00:19:34,311 --> 00:19:35,511 Oh, this guy? 461 00:19:35,546 --> 00:19:37,880 Jeff, oh, thank God! 462 00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:39,282 Jeff, I'm doing something. 463 00:19:39,316 --> 00:19:40,416 How did you find us? 464 00:19:40,451 --> 00:19:41,717 Well, I quit Deadliest Catch 465 00:19:41,752 --> 00:19:44,020 when Francine called and said you shot Hayley. 466 00:19:44,054 --> 00:19:46,389 When I got home, I saw you stealing my tools, 467 00:19:46,423 --> 00:19:48,057 so I followed you here. 468 00:19:48,091 --> 00:19:49,759 Stalker. 469 00:19:49,793 --> 00:19:52,695 He's crazy, Jeff, he's trying to take my skin. 470 00:19:52,729 --> 00:19:54,597 Dude, please don't skin my wife. 471 00:19:54,631 --> 00:19:55,665 I love her. 472 00:19:55,699 --> 00:19:56,999 But I love her, too. 473 00:19:57,034 --> 00:19:58,201 No, you don't. 474 00:19:58,235 --> 00:19:59,202 You're obsessed with me. 475 00:19:59,236 --> 00:20:00,203 There's a difference. 476 00:20:00,237 --> 00:20:01,204 What? 477 00:20:01,238 --> 00:20:03,473 Roger, love is mutual, 478 00:20:03,507 --> 00:20:05,074 and that's what Jeff and I have. 479 00:20:05,108 --> 00:20:06,909 I'm sorry, but no matter what you do, 480 00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:09,078 Jeff is the only one for me. 481 00:20:10,714 --> 00:20:13,816 Oh, my God, it's finally clear now. 482 00:20:13,851 --> 00:20:17,053 You don't want me, you want Jeff, 483 00:20:17,087 --> 00:20:19,138 and no matter how much I love you, 484 00:20:19,173 --> 00:20:21,140 it won't matter because I'm not him. 485 00:20:21,175 --> 00:20:23,309 Right, yes, you get it. 486 00:20:23,343 --> 00:20:24,877 Hayley, I'm so sorry. 487 00:20:26,446 --> 00:20:30,500 I can't, I can't believe I was going to take your skin off. 488 00:20:31,785 --> 00:20:34,520 This is the skin for me. 489 00:20:36,073 --> 00:20:37,690 Hey, babe, let's go try 490 00:20:37,724 --> 00:20:41,010 that weird skiing that's like this. 491 00:20:41,044 --> 00:20:43,045 Remind me to never take this hat off. 492 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,565 I got everything held together up there with a chip clip. 493 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,100 Great, you hate it. 494 00:20:48,135 --> 00:20:49,836 That's all right, I'm over you anyway. 495 00:20:49,870 --> 00:20:51,254 Steve was right-- it was just a crush. 496 00:20:51,288 --> 00:20:54,207 Hey, Jeff, good news, you're getting your skin back. 497 00:20:57,244 --> 00:20:58,711 Gross. 498 00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:11,267 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com