1 00:00:01,334 --> 00:00:03,913 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:06,381 ♪ Good morning, USA! 3 00:00:06,608 --> 00:00:10,218 ♪ I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 4 00:00:10,384 --> 00:00:13,347 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 5 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:17,267 ♪ And he's shining a salute to the American race ♪ 6 00:00:19,727 --> 00:00:23,116 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say 7 00:00:23,241 --> 00:00:24,918 ♪ Good... ♪ Good morning, USA 8 00:00:25,043 --> 00:00:26,360 Aah! 9 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:31,031 ♪ Good morning, USA! 10 00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:38,080 All right, quiet down, everyone. 11 00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:39,716 Shh! Deputy's talking. 12 00:00:39,841 --> 00:00:41,117 Shut your face, Sanders! 13 00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:43,486 Well, it's the start of summer, 14 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:46,222 or, more officially, our slow season. 15 00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:49,292 Terrorism drops as our Johnny Jihads 16 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:52,595 trade in their bomb suitcases for bomb pops. 17 00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:55,648 Two strikes, kiss-ass! 18 00:00:55,773 --> 00:00:57,700 Find out what a third gets you! 19 00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:59,042 I dare you! 20 00:01:03,896 --> 00:01:05,542 Anyway, as always, 21 00:01:05,667 --> 00:01:07,994 we will be cutting back to our summer hours. 22 00:01:09,754 --> 00:01:12,823 All right, now! Summertime! 23 00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:14,417 Well, I'm off to the lake house, boys. 24 00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:16,402 Jet Skis and dock sex! 25 00:01:16,527 --> 00:01:18,404 I'm gonna spend my summer giving something back 26 00:01:18,529 --> 00:01:20,640 to the community... chlamydia. 27 00:01:20,913 --> 00:01:22,508 Your guys' plans suck. 28 00:01:22,633 --> 00:01:25,435 I'll be spending another summer at the country club. 29 00:01:32,633 --> 00:01:34,628 Stan, welcome back! 30 00:01:45,289 --> 00:01:46,666 Stan! 31 00:01:46,791 --> 00:01:48,275 Back to work for another summer. 32 00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,003 Horatio. Good to be back. 33 00:01:50,128 --> 00:01:52,906 Groundskeepin', keeping the grounds. 34 00:01:53,031 --> 00:01:54,906 Beautiful day. Día bueno. 35 00:01:55,072 --> 00:01:57,076 Hard to believe, after working here 30 summers, 36 00:01:57,201 --> 00:02:00,495 I almost have enough money saved to finally afford a membership. 37 00:02:00,661 --> 00:02:02,432 Ah, then you're just going to become a rich jerk 38 00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:03,683 like the rest of them. 39 00:02:03,808 --> 00:02:05,301 The other day, Mr. Vanderhill... 40 00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:07,437 he stuffed a live swan in his golf bag 41 00:02:07,562 --> 00:02:08,905 as a surprise for his caddy. 42 00:02:09,030 --> 00:02:10,173 You know what the surprise was? 43 00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:11,758 How far that swan took 44 00:02:11,883 --> 00:02:14,134 the caddy's scrotum across the 17th fairway. 45 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,112 Don't worry. I'll never become one of them. 46 00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:17,763 Guys like Vanderhill have been handed 47 00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,282 everything their whole lives. 48 00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:21,517 But not me... I've been baking in the sun 49 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,977 on a riding mower that's rattling my butt apart. 50 00:02:24,143 --> 00:02:26,339 I told you... wear seven underwears. 51 00:02:26,464 --> 00:02:28,007 I'm going to actually appreciate this place 52 00:02:28,132 --> 00:02:29,876 because I worked for it. 53 00:02:30,001 --> 00:02:31,744 Kerry, give me a kiss! 54 00:02:31,869 --> 00:02:33,196 My wife is old. 55 00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:34,897 Stop calling my house! 56 00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:37,958 Mm. I... I call her house. 57 00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:43,673 Klaus, this summer heat... 58 00:02:43,798 --> 00:02:45,508 gets a girl a-thinkin'. 59 00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,143 What's it all about, man? 60 00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:48,710 Why are we here? 61 00:02:48,876 --> 00:02:51,014 To eat chocolate and get our toes done. 62 00:02:52,523 --> 00:02:54,007 Champagne clink. 63 00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:56,169 Seriously, I'm going to die one day, 64 00:02:56,294 --> 00:02:58,071 and I want to make sure I've left 65 00:02:58,196 --> 00:02:59,706 something behind I can be proud of. 66 00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:01,240 What about your kids? 67 00:03:01,365 --> 00:03:02,976 Meh. 68 00:03:03,101 --> 00:03:06,269 I'm talking about something more permanent. 69 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,348 I want to invent a catchphrase. 70 00:03:08,473 --> 00:03:12,192 Something as profound as "all that and a bag of chips." 71 00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:13,453 Oh, come on. 72 00:03:13,578 --> 00:03:14,821 Don't you think everyone has tried 73 00:03:14,946 --> 00:03:16,239 coming up with a catchphrase? 74 00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:17,948 It's next to impossible. 75 00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:20,126 Well, Klaus, I'm going to do it. 76 00:03:20,251 --> 00:03:23,096 And you can put that frog in the casserole. 77 00:03:25,156 --> 00:03:27,591 Bitch, what'd I just say? 78 00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:32,538 That's Norm MacDonald, right? 79 00:03:32,663 --> 00:03:34,931 How is this Dancing with the Stars? 80 00:03:36,534 --> 00:03:37,977 What a day. 81 00:03:38,102 --> 00:03:40,513 Got a blood blister, smashed my thumbnail black 82 00:03:40,638 --> 00:03:42,389 and fried up one hell of farmer's tan. 83 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:43,633 Ugh. I know. 84 00:03:43,758 --> 00:03:45,392 I've got one, too. 85 00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:47,994 Can't make fudge out of a waterfall. 86 00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:55,094 What are you doing? 87 00:03:55,219 --> 00:03:56,820 Sounded like there was still some soda left. 88 00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:58,064 I don't like the last half. 89 00:03:58,189 --> 00:03:59,632 It's not as effervescent. 90 00:03:59,757 --> 00:04:01,718 Nope, the bottom's not for me. 91 00:04:01,843 --> 00:04:03,460 I'm what they call a top. 92 00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:06,806 That's a soda from my fridge, 93 00:04:06,931 --> 00:04:09,041 which I bought with money I worked for. 94 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:10,777 Sorry. I didn't know you wanted it. 95 00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:12,078 My fingers are still sticky. 96 00:04:12,203 --> 00:04:13,712 You can suck on them if you want. 97 00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:18,451 Well, I'll be upstairs 98 00:04:18,576 --> 00:04:20,570 melting pearls on my tummy if you need me. 99 00:04:20,695 --> 00:04:23,272 Steve, you're just like those rich jerks at the club 100 00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:24,707 who don't appreciate what they have 101 00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:26,259 because they've never worked for it. 102 00:04:26,384 --> 00:04:28,919 Got to appreciate to graduate. 103 00:04:30,454 --> 00:04:32,799 Now you have a problem with soda and being rich? 104 00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:36,035 No, I have a problem with people who have it too easy. 105 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,671 I admire the self-made men of this world. 106 00:04:38,944 --> 00:04:40,273 The Levi Strausses, 107 00:04:40,398 --> 00:04:42,157 the Hulk Hogans, the Larry Flynts. 108 00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:45,735 Imagine... overcoming a name like Larry. 109 00:04:49,955 --> 00:04:51,918 Horatio, my son, Steve, 110 00:04:52,043 --> 00:04:53,586 is going to be working with us for the summer. 111 00:04:53,711 --> 00:04:54,804 Welcome aboard. 112 00:04:54,929 --> 00:04:55,938 Thanks. 113 00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:57,573 Aah! What the hell? 114 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:01,101 That, Steve, is a working man's handshake. 115 00:05:03,354 --> 00:05:04,564 A locked wrist that says 116 00:05:04,689 --> 00:05:06,466 he stands strong by his convictions, 117 00:05:06,591 --> 00:05:08,568 a firm grip that says you can trust him, 118 00:05:08,693 --> 00:05:10,002 plenty of thick calluses 119 00:05:10,127 --> 00:05:11,904 that show he's not afraid to persevere. 120 00:05:12,029 --> 00:05:13,172 Kind of like Shrek's hands. 121 00:05:13,297 --> 00:05:14,314 Aah! 122 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:15,475 My tip. 123 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,176 Your hands are the exact opposite. 124 00:05:17,301 --> 00:05:19,278 But thankfully, a summer of hard work 125 00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:20,413 will fix you right up. 126 00:05:20,538 --> 00:05:21,747 Steve, you're in luck. 127 00:05:21,872 --> 00:05:23,349 You started here at a good time. 128 00:05:23,474 --> 00:05:25,867 Tomorrow is employee swim. 129 00:05:26,033 --> 00:05:27,869 Ooh, is that where the girls ask the guys? 130 00:05:28,035 --> 00:05:30,656 Uh... huh. 131 00:05:30,781 --> 00:05:33,526 No, once a month, the club gives us an hour 132 00:05:33,651 --> 00:05:35,428 early in the morning to swim in the pool 133 00:05:35,553 --> 00:05:37,128 right before they drain it. 134 00:05:37,294 --> 00:05:38,364 It's magic. 135 00:05:41,006 --> 00:05:42,819 Oh, no. It's Vanderhill! 136 00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:45,905 A bird distracted me on my backswing. 137 00:05:46,030 --> 00:05:47,707 It was going... 138 00:05:47,832 --> 00:05:50,076 That's not my name, and it was saying it right at me. 139 00:05:50,201 --> 00:05:51,744 Yes, Mr. Vanderhill. Yes, Mr. Vanderhill. 140 00:05:51,869 --> 00:05:53,146 I'm sure it was a female. 141 00:05:53,271 --> 00:05:55,148 Now, go find its nest and smash its offspring 142 00:05:55,273 --> 00:05:56,949 before I shoot you with my turd gun. 143 00:05:58,876 --> 00:06:00,953 Yes, Mr. Vanderhill. Yes, Mr. Vanderhill. 144 00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:02,255 Roger? 145 00:06:02,380 --> 00:06:03,422 Hey! 146 00:06:03,547 --> 00:06:05,191 Why didn't my dad recognize you? 147 00:06:05,316 --> 00:06:06,425 Oh, everyone in the family 148 00:06:06,550 --> 00:06:08,494 has one persona they can't see through. 149 00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:10,396 Your mom's is my Korean kid 150 00:06:10,521 --> 00:06:12,064 who shoots pool with a giant chopstick. 151 00:06:12,189 --> 00:06:13,581 No way. 152 00:06:13,824 --> 00:06:15,868 And Hayley doesn't realize I'm her sandal repairman. 153 00:06:15,993 --> 00:06:17,293 Get out. 154 00:06:17,459 --> 00:06:19,587 And remember that spin the bottle party you went to? 155 00:06:19,753 --> 00:06:21,047 Yeah. 156 00:06:35,227 --> 00:06:36,956 You were Alicia Wilkner? 157 00:06:37,081 --> 00:06:38,524 We went on seven dates! 158 00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:40,393 Nine. I roofied you on two of them. 159 00:06:40,518 --> 00:06:42,402 Nothing happened. Wink, wink. 160 00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:44,696 But how can you afford a membership here? 161 00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:46,716 Concise story. 162 00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:49,619 Several years ago, I married some 95-year-old bag 163 00:06:49,744 --> 00:06:51,286 two weeks before she kicked it. 164 00:06:54,788 --> 00:06:56,526 Reverse Anna Nicole Smithed her. 165 00:06:56,651 --> 00:06:58,294 Her daughter was not thrilled. 166 00:06:58,419 --> 00:07:01,087 You're never going to get your mom's money, Pamela! 167 00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,234 Why you dressed like Peter Venkman? 168 00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:07,470 It's Doctor, and because Dad got me a job 169 00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:09,305 to teach me the value of hard work. 170 00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,207 You mean he's teaching you to be a chump. 171 00:07:11,332 --> 00:07:14,043 Come on, Steve. Suckers like him just glorify hard work 172 00:07:14,168 --> 00:07:16,269 because they never had an opportunity to not work hard. 173 00:07:16,821 --> 00:07:19,498 Believe me, everyone takes the easy way if they can. 174 00:07:19,623 --> 00:07:21,367 That's why we tell fart jokes. 175 00:07:21,492 --> 00:07:23,002 Knock, knock. Who's there? 176 00:07:29,573 --> 00:07:32,211 Ah, this water feels good on my jeans. 177 00:07:32,336 --> 00:07:33,779 Where's Steve? 178 00:07:33,904 --> 00:07:35,997 Can't believe he's missing employee swim. 179 00:07:37,391 --> 00:07:38,701 Vanderhill. 180 00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:40,002 Steve, what are you doing? 181 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,211 I'm so sorry, Mr. Vanderhill. 182 00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:42,355 Silence, worker. 183 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,290 I've decided to give your boy a job 184 00:07:44,415 --> 00:07:45,725 hanging out with me for the summer. 185 00:07:45,850 --> 00:07:47,560 I like him. He makes me laugh. 186 00:07:47,685 --> 00:07:49,662 Looks like it's tee time, boys. 187 00:07:51,188 --> 00:07:52,832 You can't teach that. 188 00:07:52,957 --> 00:07:55,401 Oh, and by the by, I pay like I walk... 189 00:07:55,526 --> 00:07:56,736 handsomely. 190 00:07:57,017 --> 00:07:57,987 That's not a job. 191 00:07:58,112 --> 00:08:00,647 He's just getting paid to... to lounge around. 192 00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:03,358 I'm sorry... is an employee talking back to a member? 193 00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:06,252 Didn't think so. 194 00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,169 Steve, meet the fellas. 195 00:08:28,294 --> 00:08:30,718 This is Dill Shepherd and Johnny Golf. 196 00:08:30,884 --> 00:08:32,824 Actually, it's Johnny Golf Swimandtennis, 197 00:08:32,949 --> 00:08:34,347 but that's a real mouthful. 198 00:08:35,468 --> 00:08:37,412 The calamari, the rib eye, 199 00:08:37,537 --> 00:08:39,581 the turkey club, the key lime pie 200 00:08:39,706 --> 00:08:41,816 and the crab-stuffed Dover sole? 201 00:08:41,941 --> 00:08:43,242 Yo! 202 00:08:46,029 --> 00:08:47,739 That's enough of that. 203 00:08:49,332 --> 00:08:52,201 Steve, honey, finish pushing that onto the floor for me. 204 00:08:54,304 --> 00:08:55,869 Good boy. Here's a hundo. 205 00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,633 I don't like this, Horatio. 206 00:08:58,758 --> 00:09:00,135 These are not the type of people 207 00:09:00,260 --> 00:09:01,870 I want my son to be influenced by. 208 00:09:01,995 --> 00:09:03,672 Don't worry, Stan. He's a good kid. 209 00:09:03,797 --> 00:09:06,174 I'm sure he'll be able to keep his head on straight. 210 00:09:07,734 --> 00:09:09,110 Yeah! I hate birds 211 00:09:09,235 --> 00:09:11,096 and am therefore glad that you kicked one. 212 00:09:11,221 --> 00:09:13,219 Here is money. 213 00:09:17,094 --> 00:09:18,904 "Spare me your dance recital." 214 00:09:19,029 --> 00:09:20,338 No. 215 00:09:20,463 --> 00:09:22,741 "Forget the mustard. It's karate time." 216 00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:24,242 Eh. 217 00:09:24,367 --> 00:09:27,012 "Things are getting too spicy for the pepper." 218 00:09:27,137 --> 00:09:28,914 Wait! What was that? Just now. 219 00:09:29,039 --> 00:09:30,695 "Things are getting too spicy for the pepper?" 220 00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:32,071 That's it. That's it? 221 00:09:32,237 --> 00:09:34,853 "Things are getting too spicy for the pepper." 222 00:09:34,978 --> 00:09:36,154 Your catchphrase. 223 00:09:36,279 --> 00:09:37,656 Of course! 224 00:09:37,781 --> 00:09:39,224 Now you just have to test it out. 225 00:09:39,349 --> 00:09:40,825 Things are getting... 226 00:09:40,950 --> 00:09:43,285 On someone other than me, bitch. 227 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,849 Mom, are you okay? 228 00:09:47,974 --> 00:09:49,547 You look like you're going to burst. 229 00:09:49,713 --> 00:09:51,810 Not yet. 230 00:09:53,913 --> 00:09:55,106 Anyone seen Steve? 231 00:09:55,231 --> 00:09:57,125 I didn't see him at the club all afternoon. 232 00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:58,848 Maybe things got too spic... 233 00:10:00,599 --> 00:10:01,429 Hey, now. 234 00:10:01,554 --> 00:10:02,685 Steve, where you been? 235 00:10:02,851 --> 00:10:05,216 Let me guess... Vanderhill fired you already. 236 00:10:05,341 --> 00:10:08,219 No. Mr. Vanderhill wanted to sleep one off, 237 00:10:08,344 --> 00:10:11,289 so he paid me for the full day and let me leave at noon. 238 00:10:11,414 --> 00:10:13,208 Whew. I am stuffed. 239 00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:14,943 The loaf was great, Francine. 240 00:10:15,068 --> 00:10:16,444 It's just, I filled up on lobster 241 00:10:16,569 --> 00:10:17,746 and chocolate soufflé at the club. 242 00:10:17,871 --> 00:10:19,631 Here... for your trouble. 243 00:10:19,756 --> 00:10:22,288 That's it! No tipping your mother. 244 00:10:22,454 --> 00:10:23,852 Looks like things are getting 245 00:10:23,977 --> 00:10:26,245 too spicy for the pepper. 246 00:10:29,315 --> 00:10:32,027 We do not take the easy way in this house. 247 00:10:32,152 --> 00:10:33,294 Just like... I know. 248 00:10:33,419 --> 00:10:35,196 Self-made men, hard work, Hulk Hogan. 249 00:10:35,321 --> 00:10:36,865 Honest work is for suckers. 250 00:10:36,990 --> 00:10:39,389 Easy way... best way. 251 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:40,935 Is that so, big shot? 252 00:10:41,060 --> 00:10:43,121 Because, thanks to my last paycheck, 253 00:10:43,246 --> 00:10:46,391 I now have enough saved to buy my way into the club. 254 00:10:46,516 --> 00:10:47,926 And it's going to be even sweeter 255 00:10:48,051 --> 00:10:50,362 because it wasn't handed to me on a silver platter. 256 00:10:50,487 --> 00:10:53,403 I earned it... all seven grand. 257 00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:55,834 Ha! Seven grand? 258 00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:58,069 Dad, that was the cost of a membership 259 00:10:58,194 --> 00:11:00,410 30 years ago when you first started saving. 260 00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:01,494 Wh-What? 261 00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:03,975 It's, like, 200 grand now. 262 00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:06,227 You thought... Wow! 263 00:11:06,352 --> 00:11:09,014 Well, keep on being a working sucker and maybe you can 264 00:11:09,139 --> 00:11:12,046 appreciate the club when you're 85, if you're lucky. 265 00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:20,492 Mr. Vanderhill! 266 00:11:20,617 --> 00:11:22,811 Please, Mr. Vanderhill was my father. 267 00:11:22,936 --> 00:11:24,142 Call me Spartacus. 268 00:11:24,470 --> 00:11:26,648 I may never have a chance of being a member at this club, 269 00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:28,266 but I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit by 270 00:11:28,391 --> 00:11:29,734 and let you corrupt my son. 271 00:11:29,859 --> 00:11:31,302 Me and you, a round of golf. 272 00:11:31,427 --> 00:11:33,735 If I win, Steve comes back to work with us. 273 00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:35,457 Ooh, a bet. 274 00:11:35,582 --> 00:11:38,489 Okay, but if I win, no more employee swim. 275 00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:44,332 You against the guy that knows every blade of this course? 276 00:11:44,457 --> 00:11:46,568 I'll bet you 200 Gs you lose. 277 00:11:46,693 --> 00:11:48,236 Johnny's crazy today. 278 00:11:48,361 --> 00:11:49,370 I love it. 279 00:11:49,495 --> 00:11:50,585 Count me in, too. 280 00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:52,440 Fine, I'll take all your action. 281 00:11:52,565 --> 00:11:53,508 Okay, then. 282 00:11:53,633 --> 00:11:54,672 Good luck. 283 00:11:56,553 --> 00:11:57,846 Ow! 284 00:11:57,971 --> 00:12:00,887 That's the hand I use to peel bananas, you ass. 285 00:12:01,136 --> 00:12:03,222 ♪ 286 00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:36,334 After the first hole, the score is... 35 to 36. 287 00:12:36,459 --> 00:12:37,502 You both suck. 288 00:12:37,627 --> 00:12:39,003 What do you say next hole wins? 289 00:12:39,128 --> 00:12:40,171 We don't have all day. 290 00:12:40,296 --> 00:12:41,677 Yep. Sounds good. 291 00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:46,201 All right, Stan, if you don't make this, you lose. 292 00:12:54,110 --> 00:12:55,066 Yay! 293 00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:57,388 Sucks! 294 00:12:57,513 --> 00:12:58,957 Oh, fiddlesticks. 295 00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:02,073 400 grand and no more poor people in the pool! 296 00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:04,158 But I just bought a noodle. 297 00:13:04,324 --> 00:13:05,964 Come on, boys, let's go get drunk 298 00:13:06,089 --> 00:13:07,665 and play talcum tag in the locker room. 299 00:13:07,790 --> 00:13:09,217 All right. Here we go. 300 00:13:09,342 --> 00:13:11,176 Oh, that is my passion. 301 00:13:17,717 --> 00:13:19,494 Steve-o, go grab some more champagne 302 00:13:19,619 --> 00:13:20,969 from the storage closet, huh? 303 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,352 W-What's going on here? 304 00:13:27,477 --> 00:13:29,821 Oh, this is where I come to do whip-its and think about 305 00:13:29,946 --> 00:13:32,357 what would happen if the Ninja Turtles had to go to college. 306 00:13:32,482 --> 00:13:35,593 Vanderhill offered me a 50-50 split if I threw the match. 307 00:13:35,718 --> 00:13:37,529 Now I have enough to become a member. 308 00:13:37,654 --> 00:13:39,819 Told you everyone would take the easy way if they could. 309 00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:41,733 You were right all along, Steve. 310 00:13:41,858 --> 00:13:43,425 Easy way, best way. 311 00:13:47,246 --> 00:13:49,057 I know you probably have a lot of questions, 312 00:13:49,182 --> 00:13:51,159 so I'll just tell you... the dean closes down 313 00:13:51,284 --> 00:13:53,094 the campus pizza shop and the Ninja Turtles 314 00:13:53,219 --> 00:13:55,387 do not take it well. 315 00:14:02,666 --> 00:14:04,309 Does it get any better? 316 00:14:04,434 --> 00:14:07,813 Only if Mother could win her battle with exhaustion 317 00:14:07,938 --> 00:14:10,206 and float here next to me. 318 00:14:12,442 --> 00:14:14,236 Oh, now there's too much ice in here. 319 00:14:14,361 --> 00:14:16,621 Take it back to the bartender and bring me a new one. 320 00:14:16,746 --> 00:14:20,318 And punch him for me, around this hard. 321 00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:23,295 Your dad seems to be fitting in nicely. 322 00:14:23,420 --> 00:14:26,098 Hey, Dad, maybe you should ease up a little? 323 00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,800 I'm very eased, Stevie. 324 00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:32,404 I mean, maybe tone it down. 325 00:14:32,529 --> 00:14:33,915 You're acting a little aggressive. 326 00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:36,641 If anyone's earned a right to act like this, it's me. 327 00:14:36,766 --> 00:14:39,845 Like a fool, I wasted 30 long years trying to get here. 328 00:14:39,970 --> 00:14:41,771 So now I'm gonna enjoy it. 329 00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:47,202 Hey, check it out. 330 00:14:47,327 --> 00:14:49,238 I just got that kid to Mickey-Mouse-ear that guy. 331 00:14:55,894 --> 00:14:57,996 Francine, I think I figured out 332 00:14:58,121 --> 00:14:59,464 why your catchphrase fell flat. 333 00:14:59,589 --> 00:15:01,567 Because it was a stupid idea. 334 00:15:01,733 --> 00:15:04,603 No. The words are right, just not the delivery. 335 00:15:04,728 --> 00:15:06,238 Try saying it like you've just been 336 00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:07,930 on a road trip through the South. 337 00:15:09,816 --> 00:15:10,759 Things are getting 338 00:15:10,884 --> 00:15:12,787 too spicy for the pepper! 339 00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:15,964 Now more like you just came in from playing in the snow, 340 00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:18,084 but you haven't had your hot chocolate yet. 341 00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,768 Things are getting 342 00:15:19,893 --> 00:15:21,295 too spicy for the pepper! 343 00:15:21,461 --> 00:15:24,206 Maybe more a mix of sadness that your dog died, 344 00:15:24,331 --> 00:15:26,992 relief because he was riddled with fatty lymphomas 345 00:15:27,117 --> 00:15:30,346 and joy that you can now get a new kitty. 346 00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:34,716 Things are getting too spicy for the pepper...! 347 00:15:34,841 --> 00:15:38,020 Watch Oscar-nominated actress Gabourey Sidibe do it. 348 00:15:38,186 --> 00:15:41,113 Things are getting too spicy for the pepper. 349 00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:48,864 You look nice, Dad. 350 00:15:49,030 --> 00:15:51,366 I had to pick up a tie for the New Member Gala 351 00:15:51,491 --> 00:15:53,578 at the club tomorrow, and I figured I'd treat myself. 352 00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:55,087 Ew, ham. 353 00:15:55,212 --> 00:15:56,488 Let's toss it and take a cab 354 00:15:56,613 --> 00:15:57,915 over to Long John Silver's... my treat. 355 00:15:58,081 --> 00:16:01,526 Dad, doesn't it bother you at all that you lost employee swim? 356 00:16:01,651 --> 00:16:02,861 Hadn't thought about it. 357 00:16:02,986 --> 00:16:04,746 And thank you, Steve, for opening my eyes. 358 00:16:04,871 --> 00:16:06,114 If you hadn't, I'd still be 359 00:16:06,239 --> 00:16:07,842 wasting my time scrimping pennies. 360 00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:10,652 Janet Jackson played Penny in Good Times. 361 00:16:10,777 --> 00:16:12,912 Jeff, that's the crap that gives me a headache. 362 00:16:14,881 --> 00:16:17,143 Things are getting too spicy for the pepper. 363 00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:20,187 Huh, that's pretty catchy, Mrs. S. 364 00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:25,384 I... am... immortal! 365 00:16:25,509 --> 00:16:26,752 Oh, that's great, honey. 366 00:16:26,877 --> 00:16:28,321 Set me up with the whole schmeer. 367 00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:30,756 You know, mugs, hats, bags, aprons, slacks, shirts. 368 00:16:30,881 --> 00:16:31,823 Hey, shot glasses. 369 00:16:31,948 --> 00:16:33,191 I'll take a box of those. 370 00:16:33,316 --> 00:16:34,860 Give me a box of those spicy pepper pens. 371 00:16:34,985 --> 00:16:36,245 Give me two of those, six of those. 372 00:16:36,411 --> 00:16:38,964 Come on, to Long John Silver's! 373 00:16:39,089 --> 00:16:40,766 Woo-hoo! Icelandic cod! 374 00:16:40,891 --> 00:16:42,224 Yay! 375 00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:45,044 Booyah! Yay! 376 00:16:46,838 --> 00:16:48,240 Dad? 377 00:16:48,365 --> 00:16:49,841 Steve, why are you dressed like Ernie Hudson? 378 00:16:49,966 --> 00:16:51,109 Winston Zeddemore. 379 00:16:51,234 --> 00:16:53,178 And because I'm going back to work with Horatio, 380 00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:54,346 and you are, too. 381 00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:56,349 I am, am I? 382 00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,550 Yes, because I've learned my lesson. 383 00:16:58,675 --> 00:17:00,185 By acting like a spoiled jerk, 384 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:01,920 you showed me how I was behaving. 385 00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:03,655 Acting? I'm not acting. 386 00:17:03,780 --> 00:17:05,057 I'm playing tomato tennis. 387 00:17:05,182 --> 00:17:06,315 Ooh! An unripe one! 388 00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:12,114 We lost him, Steve. 389 00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:14,023 Your dad is one of them. 390 00:17:21,731 --> 00:17:24,476 Feel good to finally hold that member key, Stan? 391 00:17:24,601 --> 00:17:25,644 Sure does. 392 00:17:25,769 --> 00:17:28,363 I'll just put it on my key chain. 393 00:17:28,488 --> 00:17:31,133 Membership has its privileges. 394 00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:32,434 Greetings, Father. 395 00:17:33,718 --> 00:17:35,060 Hulk Hogan! 396 00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:39,691 He goes to my chiropractor. 397 00:17:39,816 --> 00:17:42,244 So I asked him if he'd come talk some sense into you. 398 00:17:42,369 --> 00:17:45,797 Stan, my little Hulkamaniac filled me in on what's going on, 399 00:17:45,922 --> 00:17:47,632 and let me tell you something, brother. 400 00:17:47,757 --> 00:17:49,701 The Hulkster had to battle my entire life 401 00:17:49,826 --> 00:17:50,903 to get where I am, brother. 402 00:17:51,069 --> 00:17:53,004 With nothing but sweat, tears and heartache 403 00:17:53,129 --> 00:17:54,689 and good ol' red, white and blue 404 00:17:54,814 --> 00:17:56,075 pumping through my veins, brother. 405 00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,176 All the training, all the matches, 406 00:17:58,301 --> 00:17:59,978 all the prayers and all the brothers 407 00:18:00,103 --> 00:18:02,164 made me appreciate everything I've earned. 408 00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:04,633 That's why, no matter how many one, two, threes 409 00:18:04,758 --> 00:18:08,670 I slap on my opponents, I just thank my lucky Mean Genes 410 00:18:08,795 --> 00:18:11,373 I was blessed to be able to step into that squared circle 411 00:18:11,498 --> 00:18:13,884 and use these 24-inch pythons. 412 00:18:14,050 --> 00:18:16,611 Stan, brother, sometimes, as a Hulkamaniac, 413 00:18:16,736 --> 00:18:19,598 you got to look deep down inside yourself and ask, 414 00:18:19,764 --> 00:18:24,286 whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you?! 415 00:18:24,411 --> 00:18:25,678 Yeah. 416 00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:30,526 Listen, Terry, I appreciate 417 00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:31,944 you coming out, but... 418 00:18:34,271 --> 00:18:35,430 Oh, what's wrong Dad? 419 00:18:35,555 --> 00:18:38,075 Have you developed privileged rich guy hands? 420 00:18:38,241 --> 00:18:40,327 My handshake. 421 00:18:40,493 --> 00:18:42,154 Looks like your grip's gone soft. 422 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,056 Probably from not lifting a finger all day. 423 00:18:45,181 --> 00:18:46,491 Nonsense, Stan. 424 00:18:46,616 --> 00:18:48,500 Stick with what got you here: the easy way. 425 00:19:09,222 --> 00:19:10,274 My son's right! 426 00:19:11,241 --> 00:19:13,018 I became what I despise the most. 427 00:19:13,143 --> 00:19:15,187 I don't want your membership, not this way. 428 00:19:15,312 --> 00:19:17,823 I want to earn it, with my working man's hands. 429 00:19:17,989 --> 00:19:19,158 Welcome back, Dad. 430 00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:20,909 What do you say, Vanderhill? 431 00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:22,444 You keep my membership in exchange 432 00:19:22,569 --> 00:19:24,045 for us getting employee swim back? 433 00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:26,290 No ways to your Josés. 434 00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:28,316 Well, Hogan, then it looks like 435 00:19:28,441 --> 00:19:30,385 we're gonna have to earn swim time back 436 00:19:30,510 --> 00:19:31,870 the hard way. 437 00:19:34,547 --> 00:19:36,282 ♪ 438 00:20:04,277 --> 00:20:05,120 Roger! 439 00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:06,221 What are you doing here? 440 00:20:06,346 --> 00:20:07,973 I have so much to tell you. 441 00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:11,042 Oh, Pamela. Good. 442 00:20:11,167 --> 00:20:12,419 I was just looking for you. 443 00:20:12,585 --> 00:20:15,747 You have the same scowl your mother had... 444 00:20:15,872 --> 00:20:17,115 when I banged her... 445 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,592 after I pulled the plug. 446 00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:21,319 God, I was kidding! 447 00:20:21,444 --> 00:20:24,222 Looks like someone pulled the plug on your sense of humor. 448 00:20:24,347 --> 00:20:26,057 This meeting is over, Pamela. 449 00:20:26,182 --> 00:20:27,859 Okay, the meeting's back on. 450 00:20:27,984 --> 00:20:31,713 First item of business: those two hams you call arms. 451 00:20:31,838 --> 00:20:33,922 That one I deserved. 452 00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,103 Dad, look! 453 00:20:38,228 --> 00:20:41,690 One week of hard work, and I already got my first blister. 454 00:20:41,815 --> 00:20:45,202 Maybe we take that Playboy out of the bathroom for the summer. 455 00:20:46,820 --> 00:20:48,622 Looks like things are getting too spicy for the pepper. 456 00:20:48,788 --> 00:20:50,332 Hey, that's my wife's saying. 457 00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:51,700 Your wife? 458 00:20:51,825 --> 00:20:53,501 That's the old Salsa Fresca slogan 459 00:20:53,626 --> 00:20:55,087 from, like, two Super Bowls ago. 460 00:20:59,215 --> 00:21:03,228 Well, it looks like the Hulkster's work here is done. 461 00:21:05,096 --> 00:21:14,064 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com