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Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
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As hurricane flows out grow stronger,
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00:00:24,690 --> 00:00:27,605
breaker surf runs to breach
the Langley fall sea wall
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00:00:27,730 --> 00:00:29,601
and flood all of lower Langley.
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Residents are urged to evacuate.
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00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:33,575
Thanks, Greg.
Stay safe out there.
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Ahahahah, don't worry.
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00:00:35,140 --> 00:00:36,662
I've been in some nasty storms.
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Oh my God.
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00:00:41,017 --> 00:00:42,370
The sky ate Creg.
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How can you calmly do housework
when there's a hurricane outside?
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I'm stuck inside all day anyway,
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Might as well scratch some
things off my to-do list.
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Install this light fixture,
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prepare the table,
find my old college javelin.
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00:00:54,914 --> 00:00:57,099
Why on Earth would you ever need that?
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00:00:57,815 --> 00:00:59,315
You'll never know.
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00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,463
Well, this weather is worrying me.
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00:01:03,588 --> 00:01:05,356
Are you sure we shouldn't evacuate?
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00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:06,523
Evacuate?
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I'm not going to abandon my house
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just so a bunch of guys
in sports jerseys
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can loot the place and do
God-knows-what with...
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00:01:12,013 --> 00:01:14,682
my old college javelin.
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00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:18,652
But we're in Lower Langley.
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And we're in the lowest part
of the neighborhood!
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00:01:20,855 --> 00:01:23,834
That's why so many soccer balls
end up in our yard.
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00:01:27,795 --> 00:01:29,330
We'll be fine.
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00:01:29,397 --> 00:01:31,632
I've got us totally prepared
to ride out the storm.
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But what if the sea wall breaks?
Greg said that...
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Francine, a man's most important duty
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00:01:36,338 --> 00:01:37,504
is to protect his family.
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00:01:37,572 --> 00:01:39,440
So, please, just trust me.
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00:01:39,507 --> 00:01:41,601
I won't let anything
happen to you guys. Okay?
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00:01:41,767 --> 00:01:43,193
Mm, okay...
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00:01:43,261 --> 00:01:44,662
Try to relax.
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00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:46,764
Watching all that news is
just making you paranoid.
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Maybe a nice massage
will calm you down.
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Just start up here.
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Check it out!
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00:01:52,553 --> 00:01:54,888
I got full blueprints
of our house for my project.
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00:01:54,939 --> 00:01:57,074
The Junior Architect Society
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isn't going to know what hit them!
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00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:02,112
Are you allergic to vaginas, Steve?
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00:02:05,066 --> 00:02:06,752
Jeff, what if the sea wall breaks?
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00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,619
The zoo is in Lower Langley.
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00:02:08,703 --> 00:02:10,422
Wh-What about the animals?
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00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,089
Uh, don't worry, babe.
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00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:14,241
All the animals will
take care of each other,
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00:02:14,292 --> 00:02:16,427
just like they do in the wild.
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00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:18,379
I don't know what I'd do without you.
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00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:19,713
You're my rock.
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00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,215
Come on.
Let's go get high
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00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:22,934
and talk about
other times we got high.
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Last night was magical.
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I think we could
really have something.
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Oh, yeah, yeah...
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00:02:31,743 --> 00:02:34,244
Yeah, say, could I get
that sweatshirt back from you?
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00:02:34,312 --> 00:02:35,813
It looks pretty nasty out there.
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00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:37,448
Maybe I could just wear it
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00:02:37,515 --> 00:02:39,201
and give it back to you next time?
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Yeah... it's just,
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it's kinda my favorite,
you know, from college.
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I'll wash it for you.
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I just want to wear it for a while.
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It smells like us.
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If you've seen this man, please
call the station right away.
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00:02:59,337 --> 00:03:02,740
He was last seen being sucked
into the sky, where he belongs.
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00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:04,726
Because he's an angel!
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00:03:09,030 --> 00:03:11,515
- Hey, Buckle.
- Stan, you're still here?!
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00:03:11,583 --> 00:03:14,184
Everyone in the
neighborhood has evacuated.
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Even my friends Julius and
Rachel Epstein left.
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They're beavers, Stan!
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00:03:18,906 --> 00:03:21,701
I appreciate the concern,
Buckle, but we'll be fine.
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00:03:21,867 --> 00:03:23,727
The roads aren't passable anymore,
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but I've got an amphibious vehicle!
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I'm going to get Shari, and
we'll stop by on our way out.
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I pray you come with us, my friend.
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00:03:36,590 --> 00:03:39,710
Stan, are you sure
we shouldn't go with them?
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The sea wall could break any minute.
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For the last time, we'll be fine.
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We have weeks of supplies,
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and the house is
completely watertight.
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How do you know that?
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Remember when everyone
was worried about anthrax
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00:03:50,004 --> 00:03:51,638
and dirty bombs a few years ago,
87
00:03:51,706 --> 00:03:54,258
even though they should be far,
far more worried about it now...
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- trust me I know what I'm talking about?
- I remember.
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Well, I everything-proofed the house.
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It's sealed against anthrax,
radiation, water...
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00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:03,767
This dumb bastard's going
to get us all killed!
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00:04:03,835 --> 00:04:05,161
We have to evacuate!
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00:04:05,327 --> 00:04:06,920
We are staying right here!
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00:04:06,988 --> 00:04:10,090
"Not I," said the guy
who lived, and was beautiful.
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00:04:10,158 --> 00:04:12,059
I'm going with
Red Beard Raccoon Coat.
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Anyone who's interested in living
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00:04:13,728 --> 00:04:15,362
and not being stupid and crazy,
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I suggest you join me.
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00:04:16,831 --> 00:04:18,532
And anyone who trusts my judgment
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00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:19,867
as the protector of this family,
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I suggest you join me!
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Francine?!
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00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:27,408
I'm sorry, Stan.
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00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:30,844
But when there's a crisis,
you make bad decisions.
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00:04:30,912 --> 00:04:32,946
They sound reasonable in the moment,
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but they...
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00:04:34,282 --> 00:04:37,110
always...
end badly.
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That's ridiculous!
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00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,154
I know it's hard to hear, Stan,
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but it's true.
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Come on, kids.
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I'm with Mommy!
Betrayal!
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I have to stay, Mom.
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If the zoo floods, I need to be here,
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so I can start rescuing animals.
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Besides, I-I think the house
will probably hold.
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I'm with you, babe.
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See what a good wife
Jeff is, Francine?
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He sticks by her husband.
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I'll stay with you, Roger.
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You're still here?
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00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:07,265
Come on, you guys!
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00:05:07,431 --> 00:05:10,317
How can you trust that guy
over me, your own husband?!
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You're not giving me any choice!
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Staying here is a perfect example
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00:05:14,989 --> 00:05:17,651
of you making a bad crisis decision.
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I still don't understand why we
couldn't have taken the Solara!
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The Solara is not amphibious,
my sweet Semitic treasure!
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Francine, staying here
is not a bad decision.
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I've prepared for this...
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I finally did it.
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I've made my decision
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about whether to stay or go.
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It took a lot of soul searching,
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00:05:35,643 --> 00:05:36,643
but in the end...
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Shut up, Klaus!
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Punt!
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Hayley, please come with us.
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I can't, Mom.
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What of... the animals?
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Why, why, why, why
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do you have to say it like that?
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No...!
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00:05:50,992 --> 00:05:53,076
The sea wall has broken!
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What an exciting first date!
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00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:05,239
We're not dating, you miserable cow!
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00:06:05,306 --> 00:06:07,274
You're funny!
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00:06:07,342 --> 00:06:08,609
Oh... my God.
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00:06:12,204 --> 00:06:13,938
Buckle and Shari!
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00:06:14,006 --> 00:06:15,506
They're dead.
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Nothing we can do now but pray
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00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:19,045
and strip all the copper piping
out of their house.
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00:06:19,211 --> 00:06:22,096
If you'd gotten in that vehicle,
you'd be dead, too, Francine.
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00:06:22,147 --> 00:06:24,448
If we'd left this
morning, like I wanted,
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00:06:24,533 --> 00:06:26,534
we'd be safe at Mah Mah
and Bah Bah's right now!
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We're safe here!
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00:06:27,761 --> 00:06:29,203
The generator's working.
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00:06:29,271 --> 00:06:31,839
The place is sealed tighter than
an unlubricated Komzel valve.
159
00:06:31,907 --> 00:06:33,975
Or maybe the more obvious joke:
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00:06:34,042 --> 00:06:37,044
a Zwanzi tribesman's nook-nook
ribbon, pre-Lonzi ritual.
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00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:41,599
Um, Dad...
You didn't seal the drainage
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00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:44,118
that allows water to pass
under the house, did you?
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'Cause without that, the water'll put
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too much pressure on the structure...
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Steve, stop it.
Just because
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you're in an architect club
doesn't mean...
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Hiya, Barb!
Some weather, huh?
168
00:06:52,260 --> 00:06:53,728
...doesn't mean you know
everything about...
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00:06:53,795 --> 00:06:54,831
Hey, Principal Lewis!
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00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:57,932
End of days... bitches...!
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00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:02,903
...about this house...
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00:07:02,971 --> 00:07:05,508
We're moving. The house
is moving. I see that now.
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00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:10,728
Just as I suspected!
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00:07:10,796 --> 00:07:12,446
The water couldn't
pass under the house,
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00:07:12,514 --> 00:07:14,315
so it pushed it off the foundation!
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00:07:14,383 --> 00:07:15,583
See, Stan?
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00:07:15,651 --> 00:07:17,918
Sealing up the house and staying here
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00:07:17,986 --> 00:07:20,982
sounded like okay decisions,
but look what happened!
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00:07:21,148 --> 00:07:23,474
I feel so close to you.
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00:07:23,542 --> 00:07:26,243
Let's go look at your baby pictures.
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00:07:26,311 --> 00:07:28,179
Great, you go get them.
They're outside.
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00:07:28,246 --> 00:07:31,015
Where?
Just... outside.
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00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:32,994
Anywhere. Just go find
them. It's a game.
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00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,652
I say we go up to the attic...
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00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,454
the highest, safest part
of the house.
186
00:07:36,521 --> 00:07:38,205
We should stay down here.
187
00:07:38,273 --> 00:07:40,875
If rescue comes, we can climb
right out the window
188
00:07:40,942 --> 00:07:42,076
and onto the boat.
189
00:07:42,144 --> 00:07:43,444
You know what?
Fine.
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00:07:43,512 --> 00:07:46,447
Anyone smart or loyal enough
to take my side in this,
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00:07:46,515 --> 00:07:47,615
come with me to the attic.
192
00:07:50,769 --> 00:07:52,514
Hayley, don't listen to him!
193
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:53,971
She's made up her mind, Francine.
194
00:07:54,039 --> 00:07:56,440
Just like how I normally
make up your mind.
195
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:02,997
Penny for your thoughts?
196
00:08:03,048 --> 00:08:04,315
I don't have any change.
197
00:08:04,383 --> 00:08:05,966
Saucy.
Shut up.
198
00:08:06,034 --> 00:08:07,685
Do not pass go.
What?
199
00:08:07,753 --> 00:08:10,004
Chicken butt.
I hate you.
200
00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:12,239
Got your nose!
201
00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:17,455
Stan, what are you doing?
202
00:08:17,621 --> 00:08:19,379
I'm dropping an anchor to stop us.
203
00:08:19,431 --> 00:08:21,000
We could crash into something
and sink!
204
00:08:21,166 --> 00:08:23,234
Oh, please don't do that!
205
00:08:23,318 --> 00:08:25,970
I know an anchor sounds like
a good plan.
206
00:08:26,038 --> 00:08:29,040
I can't poke any holes in it, per se.
207
00:08:29,107 --> 00:08:32,226
But based on your history...
208
00:08:32,277 --> 00:08:34,061
My wine fridge!
209
00:08:34,129 --> 00:08:35,780
I had my cocaine in there!
210
00:08:39,534 --> 00:08:41,535
See, Francine!
211
00:08:41,586 --> 00:08:43,439
It was a good idea, and it worked!
212
00:08:43,605 --> 00:08:45,942
Thanks to me,
the Smith family is safe!
213
00:09:01,915 --> 00:09:04,127
I'll never forget you, Roger!
214
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:05,259
Just ignore her.
215
00:09:06,695 --> 00:09:08,179
No...!
216
00:09:08,246 --> 00:09:10,383
My sweatshirt!
217
00:09:12,734 --> 00:09:13,767
Don't worry.
I can fix this.
218
00:09:17,438 --> 00:09:18,823
It's jammed!
219
00:09:18,890 --> 00:09:21,269
Ha! Tables have turned, bitches!
220
00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:23,227
This whole house is going to flood.
221
00:09:23,295 --> 00:09:25,729
Tough luck for you dicks
who don't have gills.
222
00:09:25,797 --> 00:09:27,598
I guess it's my house now,
223
00:09:27,666 --> 00:09:30,450
and I can go wherever I want!
224
00:09:31,903 --> 00:09:34,621
See you never, goat-!
225
00:09:36,224 --> 00:09:38,458
This is salt water!
226
00:09:38,510 --> 00:09:39,760
It burns!
227
00:09:39,811 --> 00:09:42,373
Put me back, put me back!
228
00:09:44,399 --> 00:09:45,833
Whew!
229
00:09:45,901 --> 00:09:49,453
So...
230
00:09:49,521 --> 00:09:54,302
a lot of funny jokes
happened just now, ja?
231
00:09:54,468 --> 00:09:56,243
We're completely upside down!
232
00:09:56,311 --> 00:09:58,245
Aw, look Steve.
233
00:09:58,313 --> 00:10:00,642
Our glow-in-the-dark
star stickers are still here.
234
00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:03,000
Remember that night we camped
out in the living room?
235
00:10:03,068 --> 00:10:05,769
We told ghost stories and you
had your first big-boy dream?
236
00:10:05,837 --> 00:10:07,188
Such volume!
237
00:10:08,623 --> 00:10:10,207
That must be the others,
in the attic!
238
00:10:10,275 --> 00:10:11,408
We have to help them!
239
00:10:11,476 --> 00:10:13,154
Hmm. Looks like we can use
240
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:15,312
this vertical access
aft to get down there.
241
00:10:15,380 --> 00:10:17,231
Those are the stairs, Steve.
242
00:10:17,299 --> 00:10:19,266
We need to make some kind of rope...
243
00:10:19,334 --> 00:10:20,601
maybe out of curtains.
244
00:10:20,669 --> 00:10:21,902
As if!
245
00:10:21,970 --> 00:10:23,671
You think I'm gonna risk
my neck for Stan,
246
00:10:23,738 --> 00:10:24,805
after what he did to my wine fridge?!
247
00:10:24,873 --> 00:10:25,667
No way!
248
00:10:25,999 --> 00:10:28,442
But... what about your wigs?
249
00:10:28,510 --> 00:10:29,671
They're all in the attic.
250
00:10:29,911 --> 00:10:32,446
Get out of my way! I'll kill you!
251
00:10:35,450 --> 00:10:37,918
Franny... we need to make...
252
00:10:37,986 --> 00:10:39,353
some kind of rope
253
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:40,754
perhaps...
254
00:10:40,822 --> 00:10:42,392
out of curtains.
255
00:10:42,624 --> 00:10:44,158
I couldn't get the window shut!
256
00:10:44,209 --> 00:10:45,492
The water is rising!
257
00:10:45,544 --> 00:10:47,355
I'll get us out of this!
258
00:10:49,831 --> 00:10:51,999
I'm... not gonna make it, babe!
259
00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:54,919
I-I want you to take my Hacky Sack...
260
00:10:55,003 --> 00:10:58,088
and-and give it to our grandchildren.
261
00:10:58,173 --> 00:10:59,423
Jeff, we don't even have kids.
262
00:10:59,507 --> 00:11:00,891
I know.
263
00:11:00,976 --> 00:11:02,726
That's why...
I want you to...
264
00:11:02,811 --> 00:11:04,478
take this folded-up candy wrapper.
265
00:11:04,545 --> 00:11:06,347
Don't ask me how I did it.
266
00:11:06,398 --> 00:11:09,585
Just take it and start our family.
267
00:11:09,751 --> 00:11:11,952
It looks like this corridor
should take us
268
00:11:12,020 --> 00:11:13,954
directly to the main attic access.
269
00:11:14,022 --> 00:11:16,523
It's not a corridor, it's a hallway!
270
00:11:16,591 --> 00:11:18,859
You need to stop with
the architect jargon.
271
00:11:18,927 --> 00:11:20,594
Seriously.
Look at me.
272
00:11:20,662 --> 00:11:24,225
You need to zip it, lock it
and put it in your pocket.
273
00:11:24,391 --> 00:11:25,733
Stan?!
274
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:26,800
It's Mom!
275
00:11:26,868 --> 00:11:28,135
She's gonna save us!
276
00:11:28,203 --> 00:11:29,303
We don't need saving.
277
00:11:29,371 --> 00:11:30,788
I've got this under control.
278
00:11:30,872 --> 00:11:33,057
I'm here, Francine!
Don't panic!
279
00:11:33,124 --> 00:11:34,541
I'll get us through this!
280
00:11:34,609 --> 00:11:35,960
What?
281
00:11:36,027 --> 00:11:38,829
Stan, we're moving
the stuff off the door!
282
00:11:38,897 --> 00:11:40,114
Just hang on!
283
00:11:40,215 --> 00:11:42,049
That's real good, honey!
Keep your spirits up!
284
00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:43,884
I'm coming!
285
00:11:45,887 --> 00:11:47,638
There, there, you're safe now.
286
00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:53,004
The wigs!
They're all gone!
287
00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:56,799
Half of those belonged
to Brendan Fraser!
288
00:11:56,965 --> 00:11:59,149
Oh, thank the stars you made it!
289
00:11:59,217 --> 00:12:00,303
Come here, I've got you!
290
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:01,804
Oh, bless you, Roger!
291
00:12:01,970 --> 00:12:03,604
I was afraid I...
292
00:12:03,672 --> 00:12:05,606
Thank God this one survived.
293
00:12:05,674 --> 00:12:07,810
I can still go to cowboy weddings.
294
00:12:07,976 --> 00:12:09,660
Nein!
295
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:14,298
Okay, one at a time.
296
00:12:14,366 --> 00:12:16,917
The rope isn't very strong.
297
00:12:16,985 --> 00:12:18,569
I don't want to die here!
298
00:12:18,637 --> 00:12:20,888
I'm supposed to die
in the medical tent
299
00:12:20,956 --> 00:12:22,006
at a music festival!
300
00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:25,059
Jeff, no!
301
00:12:25,126 --> 00:12:26,460
Ow!
302
00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:27,955
Jeff! Now we lost our rope!
303
00:12:28,121 --> 00:12:31,015
I'm so sorry!
304
00:12:31,099 --> 00:12:32,900
Get ahold of yourself!
305
00:12:36,504 --> 00:12:38,339
Huh.
306
00:12:40,041 --> 00:12:41,241
Huh.
307
00:12:42,377 --> 00:12:44,044
How are we gonna get up there now?
308
00:12:44,112 --> 00:12:45,746
Get us out of here, Mrs. S!
309
00:12:45,830 --> 00:12:47,100
No!
I'll save us!
310
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:48,549
We, uh... we should...
311
00:12:48,616 --> 00:12:50,985
open a window and flood this floor!
312
00:12:51,052 --> 00:12:53,398
The rising water will carry us
right up to the living room.
313
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:56,818
There's no way we're doing
another one of your ideas, Stan!
314
00:12:59,486 --> 00:13:01,239
Maybe we should.
315
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:02,663
What?
316
00:13:02,731 --> 00:13:04,531
Look, I know Dad's decisions
haven't worked out,
317
00:13:04,599 --> 00:13:06,567
but he is trying.
318
00:13:06,634 --> 00:13:07,735
I say we open the window...
319
00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:12,039
unless anyone has a better idea...
320
00:13:12,107 --> 00:13:14,108
based in reality.
321
00:13:14,175 --> 00:13:15,920
Okay, then.
Window it is.
322
00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:16,921
Thank you, Hayley.
323
00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:18,145
You're welcome, Dad.
324
00:13:23,844 --> 00:13:25,369
Ahh!
325
00:13:25,453 --> 00:13:28,355
Dad was wrong...
326
00:13:28,406 --> 00:13:31,158
Wow, what a beautiful creature.
327
00:13:31,242 --> 00:13:32,960
And we know so little about them.
328
00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:38,691
Hayley!
Hayley!
329
00:13:38,742 --> 00:13:40,153
Oh, God! Oh, God!
330
00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:41,994
That shark's in here, man!
331
00:13:42,062 --> 00:13:44,664
If they're really attracted
to blood, then it's in my room,
332
00:13:44,731 --> 00:13:48,367
attacking the boxers I wore
the day Francine made tacos.
333
00:13:48,418 --> 00:13:49,919
Just leave me behind!
334
00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:51,664
I am bad in a crisis.
335
00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:53,238
And it got Hayley killed!
336
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:54,707
Don't give up, Dad.
337
00:13:54,758 --> 00:13:56,711
We got the window closed
and we'll find her.
338
00:13:59,596 --> 00:14:02,048
It's the ghost of Hayley risen
up from the depths of hell!
339
00:14:02,099 --> 00:14:04,050
She has unfinished business with me!
340
00:14:04,101 --> 00:14:05,417
Leave me be, specter!
341
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:07,386
No, she's alive!
342
00:14:07,437 --> 00:14:09,223
Why would you assume
she went to hell?
343
00:14:09,806 --> 00:14:12,185
Hayley?!
344
00:14:12,409 --> 00:14:15,511
What's on the bottom
of your mattress, Steve?
345
00:14:15,579 --> 00:14:18,581
So many of the girls
are Asian, and pregnant.
346
00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:20,316
She's not in here,
we should keep moving.
347
00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:25,154
Shark!
348
00:14:25,238 --> 00:14:26,389
Oh, thank god.
It's just a dead girl.
349
00:14:26,456 --> 00:14:27,623
Ah!
350
00:14:27,691 --> 00:14:30,275
Roger, you came back for me.
351
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:31,787
Uh, okay.
352
00:14:31,953 --> 00:14:36,250
Do you want to come to dinner
at my parents' house on Tuesday?
353
00:14:36,416 --> 00:14:38,669
What did you find?!
I-Is it Hayley?!
354
00:14:38,835 --> 00:14:40,713
No, it's nothing.
Just a cushion.
355
00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:44,890
We're going to have lots of babies.
356
00:14:44,958 --> 00:14:47,595
No, no, no, no, no, no.
357
00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:50,579
She's not in here, either.
358
00:14:50,647 --> 00:14:51,931
Where's your father?
359
00:14:51,999 --> 00:14:53,518
The shark got him!
360
00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:55,434
Stan! Hayley!
361
00:14:55,502 --> 00:14:57,939
I don't see any...
362
00:14:58,105 --> 00:14:58,940
Oh!
363
00:14:59,106 --> 00:14:59,857
Hayley!
364
00:15:00,023 --> 00:15:01,657
Careful!
365
00:15:01,725 --> 00:15:05,127
The shark let me go when I
jammed my one-hitter in its eye,
366
00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:06,812
but I think it's
still here somewhere.
367
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:17,757
Hang on, Hayley.
368
00:15:17,824 --> 00:15:18,874
Mama's coming.
369
00:15:24,330 --> 00:15:27,099
Does anyone have Chap Stick?
370
00:15:28,505 --> 00:15:30,039
I got you, honey.
371
00:15:30,107 --> 00:15:31,222
It's okay...
372
00:15:33,306 --> 00:15:34,827
Go, go, go!
373
00:15:40,313 --> 00:15:41,564
We have to go up!
374
00:15:42,649 --> 00:15:43,516
Oh!
375
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,140
We did it!
376
00:15:51,208 --> 00:15:53,259
We got away.
377
00:15:53,326 --> 00:15:55,411
Okay, according to the blueprints...
378
00:15:57,013 --> 00:15:59,582
It's hungry for flesh and knowledge!
379
00:16:03,837 --> 00:16:05,087
Don't look at me, whore!
380
00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:07,206
We both know what this is!
381
00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:08,491
It's love!
382
00:16:08,558 --> 00:16:11,010
Forever love!
383
00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:15,564
Stan! Oh.
384
00:16:15,649 --> 00:16:18,017
Didn't see you there.
385
00:16:18,068 --> 00:16:21,937
Sneaky. A sneaky boy is what you are.
386
00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:24,523
Francine was right about me, Klaus.
387
00:16:24,574 --> 00:16:27,693
The farther away from the family
I am, the safer they'll be.
388
00:16:27,744 --> 00:16:29,211
There he is! There he is!
389
00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:30,579
Look at all his teeth!
390
00:16:30,664 --> 00:16:31,947
They don't sound very safe, Stan.
391
00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:33,232
You'd better get in there!
392
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:35,734
I want to, but I'll only
make things worse
393
00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:37,330
- with my bad decisions.
- Aah, look!
394
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:40,206
Look, Stan, everyone
makes bad decisions,
395
00:16:40,257 --> 00:16:42,174
but it's a numbers game.
396
00:16:42,242 --> 00:16:44,962
Eventually, you're bound
to make the right call.
397
00:16:45,128 --> 00:16:46,005
I am?
398
00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:47,246
Sure.
399
00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:48,514
Look at Nicolas Cage.
400
00:16:48,581 --> 00:16:50,582
He made many horrible movies.
401
00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:52,802
Snake Eyes, Eight Millimeter,
402
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:54,386
Gone in Sixty Seconds,
403
00:16:54,438 --> 00:16:55,855
Captain Corelli's Mandolin,
Windtalkers...
404
00:16:57,524 --> 00:16:58,891
...Ghost Rider, Family Man,
405
00:16:58,942 --> 00:17:01,227
Weather Man, Wicker Man,
Bangkok Dangerous.
406
00:17:02,929 --> 00:17:06,532
But then he nailed it, Stan,
with National Treasure Two,
407
00:17:06,599 --> 00:17:08,819
the greatest movie of all time!
408
00:17:08,985 --> 00:17:11,237
He did nail it!
409
00:17:11,288 --> 00:17:14,707
He nailed it so hard that he
became a national treasure...
410
00:17:14,774 --> 00:17:16,125
too.
411
00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:17,243
Mom, behind you!
412
00:17:17,294 --> 00:17:18,377
My God!
413
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,381
If Nicolas Cage can recover
from his bad decisions
414
00:17:22,448 --> 00:17:24,667
and make a great one, so can I!
415
00:17:24,751 --> 00:17:25,711
That's the spirit.
416
00:17:25,877 --> 00:17:28,220
I'm going to save my family!
417
00:17:30,966 --> 00:17:33,844
And this time, I'm going
to make the right call.
418
00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:36,345
I don't want to die yet.
419
00:17:36,429 --> 00:17:38,180
I haven't experienced
the disappointment
420
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:40,516
of being in a monogamous
sexual relationship.
421
00:17:41,985 --> 00:17:43,135
Help has arrived!
422
00:17:44,971 --> 00:17:46,482
It's okay.
423
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:48,651
I let the bear in to kill the shark.
424
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:51,487
They're natural enemies
since the dawn of time.
425
00:17:56,908 --> 00:17:58,334
They're working in tandem!
426
00:17:58,401 --> 00:17:59,702
They're brothers in arms!
427
00:18:02,706 --> 00:18:04,290
Just a hiccup. Don't worry.
428
00:18:04,357 --> 00:18:05,835
I'm Nic Caging this mother!
429
00:18:08,712 --> 00:18:11,180
This time, I'll make the right call.
430
00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:13,008
I'm gonna electrocute them!
431
00:18:13,174 --> 00:18:14,817
Oh, Stan, I don't think...
432
00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:17,553
Aah!
433
00:18:28,681 --> 00:18:30,232
Don't worry. I'm on this.
434
00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:32,351
Next time, I'm bound
to make the right call.
435
00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:34,353
You're killing us, Mr. S!
436
00:18:34,404 --> 00:18:35,988
Stop it!
Stay calm, Jeff!
437
00:18:36,039 --> 00:18:37,156
I'll get us through this.
438
00:18:37,207 --> 00:18:38,274
You have to let...
439
00:18:38,341 --> 00:18:39,775
me...
440
00:18:39,843 --> 00:18:41,043
help... you...
441
00:18:41,127 --> 00:18:42,962
- Stan!
- I know, honey.
442
00:18:43,029 --> 00:18:44,081
You believe in me again.
443
00:18:44,247 --> 00:18:45,781
No!
444
00:18:45,849 --> 00:18:47,752
You're making everything
much, much worse!
445
00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:49,652
Now look me in the eyes.
446
00:18:49,719 --> 00:18:53,155
I'm going to tell you
exactly what to do.
447
00:18:53,223 --> 00:18:55,885
You need to go out and get help.
448
00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:58,554
No more decisions or ideas.
449
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:02,224
Go outside and get help, okay?!
450
00:19:02,390 --> 00:19:03,548
Okay, I hear you.
451
00:19:03,650 --> 00:19:05,050
I really do.
452
00:19:05,101 --> 00:19:06,852
But I'm not going to do that.
453
00:19:06,903 --> 00:19:08,487
Because I have a better idea.
454
00:19:08,554 --> 00:19:11,942
My old college javelin.
455
00:19:12,108 --> 00:19:14,820
Remember?
456
00:19:14,986 --> 00:19:16,395
I'll harpoon the bear,
457
00:19:16,463 --> 00:19:19,116
and the bear blood will distract
the shark, and we can escape!
458
00:19:19,282 --> 00:19:21,076
Stan!
459
00:19:23,161 --> 00:19:24,470
No!
460
00:19:28,833 --> 00:19:30,442
No!
461
00:19:38,084 --> 00:19:39,845
Ow!
462
00:19:48,233 --> 00:19:50,212
Sorry about tranquilizing you, Stan.
463
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,048
I-I wasn't sure who was doing
the most damage down there.
464
00:19:53,116 --> 00:19:54,450
It's okay.
465
00:19:54,517 --> 00:19:56,251
You did the right thing, Buckle.
466
00:19:56,319 --> 00:19:59,114
You harpooned me.
467
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,824
I told you to go out and get help...
468
00:20:01,891 --> 00:20:04,026
and you harpooned me.
469
00:20:04,094 --> 00:20:05,995
I'm so sorry, Francine.
470
00:20:06,062 --> 00:20:08,964
I just wanted to prove
I'm good in a crisis.
471
00:20:09,032 --> 00:20:11,066
I failed.
472
00:20:11,134 --> 00:20:15,771
Stan, 99% of the time,
there is no crisis,
473
00:20:15,839 --> 00:20:19,041
and you're a wonderful
husband and father.
474
00:20:19,109 --> 00:20:21,043
But what about when there is one?
475
00:20:21,111 --> 00:20:23,329
It's the man's job
to protect his family.
476
00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:25,297
And you can, honey...
477
00:20:25,365 --> 00:20:28,352
by getting the hell out
of the way and doing nothing.
478
00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:31,647
Huh. Do nothing.
479
00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:36,151
Francine, we both know
I'm not going to do that.
480
00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:38,677
I wonder how much damage
the hurricane did
481
00:20:38,745 --> 00:20:39,738
to the neighborhood.
482
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:46,769
Oh, what a day.
483
00:20:46,836 --> 00:20:47,997
Tell me about it.
484
00:20:48,163 --> 00:20:50,040
I don't even know
where the hell I am.
485
00:20:50,206 --> 00:20:52,585
Looter!
Self defense!
486
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,877
A black and a white talking
as if it's normal!
487
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:58,047
Peter, what are you doing?
488
00:20:58,114 --> 00:20:59,381
You know me!
489
00:20:59,449 --> 00:21:00,999
Everybody shut up and let me think!
490
00:21:01,067 --> 00:21:02,317
Just let me think!
491
00:21:02,385 --> 00:21:03,535
Stan, have you...?
492
00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:09,594
Oh, man. Classic American Dad.
493
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:12,299
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com