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00:00:03,133 --> 00:00:05,918
♪ Good morning, USA! ♪
2
00:00:05,986 --> 00:00:09,855
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
3
00:00:09,923 --> 00:00:12,791
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
4
00:00:12,842 --> 00:00:16,962
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
5
00:00:19,015 --> 00:00:22,568
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
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00:00:22,635 --> 00:00:24,353
♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
7
00:00:24,437 --> 00:00:25,771
Aah!
8
00:00:27,274 --> 00:00:29,133
♪ Good morning, USA! ♪
9
00:00:29,134 --> 00:00:31,134
♪ American Dad 06x17 ♪
Home Wrecker
Original Air Date on May 8, 2011
10
00:00:31,135 --> 00:00:33,135
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
11
00:00:37,232 --> 00:00:39,034
Franny, please
stop that humming
12
00:00:39,103 --> 00:00:41,754
or I'm gonna strangle you with
your own hair, baby, okay?
13
00:00:41,822 --> 00:00:42,839
I like the humming.
14
00:00:42,907 --> 00:00:44,641
It shows
her pleasant disposition.
15
00:00:44,708 --> 00:00:47,393
Francine's morning hums are
what help get me out of bed.
16
00:00:47,461 --> 00:00:48,761
Thank you,
sweetheart.
17
00:00:48,829 --> 00:00:50,763
Wanda Sykes is
coming to town.
18
00:00:50,831 --> 00:00:52,999
Good luck selling out
the Civic Auditorium.
19
00:00:53,067 --> 00:00:55,134
The Langley Falls Dynamite
can't even do that,
20
00:00:55,202 --> 00:00:57,070
and they're the best
all-male nude revue
21
00:00:57,137 --> 00:00:58,555
in the greater
Lanceton area.
22
00:00:58,622 --> 00:01:00,623
Yeah, but they lost
Chocolate Don.
23
00:01:00,691 --> 00:01:02,609
Oh, no, no, no, no,
Chocolate Don is back.
24
00:01:02,676 --> 00:01:04,244
Oh, really?
His mom is better?
25
00:01:04,311 --> 00:01:07,647
No, she passed.
So he's back but he's sad.
26
00:01:07,715 --> 00:01:10,867
And what do you have to say
for yourself, Metro section?
27
00:01:10,935 --> 00:01:13,202
Dad, can't you read the
newspaper without talking to it?
28
00:01:13,270 --> 00:01:14,954
It puts me off my meal.
29
00:01:15,022 --> 00:01:17,390
I like when your father
talks to the paper.
30
00:01:17,458 --> 00:01:19,859
Makes me feel like I work
at Murphy Brown.
31
00:01:19,944 --> 00:01:24,080
♪ When will we love the earth
as much as we love ourselves? ♪
32
00:01:24,148 --> 00:01:25,615
♪ In Gaia's name we ask... ♪
33
00:01:25,666 --> 00:01:26,733
Ow!
34
00:01:28,435 --> 00:01:29,936
You're bleeding!
35
00:01:30,004 --> 00:01:31,871
And it's not even
that time of the month.
36
00:01:31,939 --> 00:01:33,206
Period joke!
37
00:01:36,010 --> 00:01:40,179
Hey, babe, we need to pick
a design for our new checks.
38
00:01:40,247 --> 00:01:41,664
I'm thinking hot rods.
39
00:01:41,732 --> 00:01:43,316
We're not putting hot
rods on our checks.
40
00:01:43,384 --> 00:01:45,001
This is the first thing
that both of our names
41
00:01:45,052 --> 00:01:46,552
are going to be on as
a married couple, okay?
42
00:01:46,637 --> 00:01:48,121
We should take
this seriously.
43
00:01:48,188 --> 00:01:52,558
Okay, if you don't want
hot rods, how about hot dogs?
44
00:01:52,626 --> 00:01:54,327
How about no.
45
00:01:54,395 --> 00:01:55,662
Not the food.
46
00:01:55,729 --> 00:01:58,498
I'm talking canines
in sexy poses.
47
00:02:00,567 --> 00:02:02,285
We'll go with
Nelson Mandela.
48
00:02:03,988 --> 00:02:05,738
I don't want a football player.
49
00:02:05,806 --> 00:02:06,973
He's not a...
50
00:02:07,041 --> 00:02:09,325
How could you not know
who Nelson Mandela is?
51
00:02:09,376 --> 00:02:10,843
Idiot.
Dummy.
52
00:02:10,911 --> 00:02:11,861
Jerk.
Whore.
53
00:02:11,912 --> 00:02:13,212
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
54
00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,665
You newlyweds have been
fighting an awful lot lately.
55
00:02:15,733 --> 00:02:17,183
You two need
to model your marriage
56
00:02:17,251 --> 00:02:19,319
after a perfect one,
like...
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00:02:19,386 --> 00:02:20,236
Ours.
Ours.
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00:02:20,304 --> 00:02:21,270
You guys?!
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00:02:21,338 --> 00:02:23,439
Your father and
I have 20 years
60
00:02:23,507 --> 00:02:25,241
of being in
perfect sync.
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00:02:25,309 --> 00:02:27,744
We just... we
go together.
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00:02:27,811 --> 00:02:30,647
We go together like, like...
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00:02:30,714 --> 00:02:32,932
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo,
doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
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00:02:33,017 --> 00:02:34,751
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
65
00:02:34,818 --> 00:02:37,186
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo,
doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
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00:02:37,254 --> 00:02:38,821
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
67
00:02:38,889 --> 00:02:40,389
♪ We're Stan and Franny,
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00:02:40,441 --> 00:02:42,275
♪ And we go together ♪
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00:02:42,359 --> 00:02:44,010
♪ Like ke-ding-a-de-dinga-dong ♪
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00:02:44,078 --> 00:02:45,645
♪ She's thin
and pretty ♪
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00:02:45,713 --> 00:02:48,348
♪ And I love him 'cause
he's so big and strong ♪
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00:02:48,415 --> 00:02:50,500
♪ Flim flam fibbity
flommy flop ♪
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00:02:50,567 --> 00:02:54,504
♪ Bip bop bap boo boo
bah-bee-ee ♪
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00:02:54,571 --> 00:02:56,889
♪ Stan and Franny ♪
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00:02:56,957 --> 00:02:59,559
♪ We go together
like Steve's palm ♪
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00:02:59,626 --> 00:03:01,243
♪ And a gallon
of Lubriderm ♪
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00:03:01,295 --> 00:03:02,795
♪ I've got a big chin ♪
78
00:03:02,863 --> 00:03:05,548
♪ And that goes great
with my huge vajinny-jin ♪
79
00:03:05,599 --> 00:03:07,700
♪ Bah ba biggity doogah dom ♪
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00:03:07,768 --> 00:03:10,636
♪ Gah zib zib la la far-eed ♪
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00:03:10,704 --> 00:03:14,440
♪ Blib blop blop blee ♪
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00:03:14,525 --> 00:03:16,025
♪ Blah blah,
gippity gip ta bot ♪
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00:03:16,093 --> 00:03:18,177
♪ Gip gop galladawot,
nippity nip ta doo ♪
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00:03:18,245 --> 00:03:19,195
♪ Moogetee moogetee
moogetee moogetee... ♪
85
00:03:19,263 --> 00:03:21,230
Stop. Where's Roger?
86
00:03:21,298 --> 00:03:22,865
I left in the middle
of the song.
87
00:03:22,933 --> 00:03:25,818
It turned into all gibberish,
and I won't be a part of it.
88
00:03:25,886 --> 00:03:28,187
Anyway, point is:
we're strong.
89
00:03:28,255 --> 00:03:29,956
Where'd you get the food,
greaser dude?
90
00:03:30,024 --> 00:03:31,491
Greg and Terry's.
91
00:03:31,558 --> 00:03:33,526
They're having a big open house
to show off their new kitchen.
92
00:03:33,594 --> 00:03:34,527
New kitchen?
93
00:03:34,595 --> 00:03:36,396
Did they put in a new fridge?
94
00:03:36,463 --> 00:03:38,698
Mm-hmm.
And did they get a new stove?
95
00:03:38,766 --> 00:03:39,832
Yeah.
96
00:03:39,917 --> 00:03:41,084
Yeah, they did.
97
00:03:41,151 --> 00:03:43,419
And did they put in
all-new cabinets?
98
00:03:43,487 --> 00:03:45,154
I, uh, I think so.
99
00:03:45,222 --> 00:03:46,723
Cabi-nots-ah!
100
00:03:46,790 --> 00:03:49,842
All-new cabinets!
101
00:03:49,927 --> 00:03:50,860
Preach it, honey.
102
00:03:50,928 --> 00:03:51,828
Excus-a me?
103
00:03:51,895 --> 00:03:54,247
Oh, a little birdie just told me
104
00:03:54,314 --> 00:03:57,200
about all-new floors!
105
00:03:57,267 --> 00:03:58,384
Hallelujah!
106
00:03:58,452 --> 00:03:59,986
Praise the floors!
107
00:04:03,473 --> 00:04:04,824
Whoo, whoo!
108
00:04:04,908 --> 00:04:07,160
Okay, okay.
109
00:04:07,244 --> 00:04:08,644
Let's go see it!
110
00:04:08,695 --> 00:04:09,812
Yeah!
111
00:04:09,863 --> 00:04:13,015
Yeah! Let's go! Whoo!
112
00:04:17,788 --> 00:04:20,656
Okay, Megan Fox and Seth Rogen
come out of a room
113
00:04:20,707 --> 00:04:22,324
containing
only one chair.
114
00:04:22,376 --> 00:04:24,127
Do you sniff
the chair?
115
00:04:24,178 --> 00:04:28,548
Jamie Foxx is not
a Wayans brother.
116
00:04:28,632 --> 00:04:30,416
Think fast.
117
00:04:30,484 --> 00:04:33,419
64 blue, 19 red,
21 brown, 38 green.
118
00:04:33,487 --> 00:04:35,221
142 total candies.
119
00:04:37,491 --> 00:04:38,791
Hold up.
120
00:04:38,859 --> 00:04:43,029
It looks like we got
ourselves a magic moron.
121
00:04:43,097 --> 00:04:46,949
You boys ever played a little
game called blackjack?
122
00:04:47,017 --> 00:04:50,586
Principal Lewis, I think
our homeroom hamster is sick.
123
00:04:50,654 --> 00:04:51,520
Think fast.
124
00:04:52,573 --> 00:04:54,240
It never gets old.
125
00:04:55,592 --> 00:04:57,193
Okay, Rain Man,
126
00:04:57,261 --> 00:04:58,861
what cards are
left in the deck?
127
00:04:58,929 --> 00:05:01,164
Three jacks, a king,
two eights, and a four,
128
00:05:01,231 --> 00:05:02,615
definitely a four.
129
00:05:02,683 --> 00:05:04,600
Treat.
130
00:05:04,668 --> 00:05:06,335
Next stop,
the casino.
131
00:05:06,386 --> 00:05:08,604
When Barry signals
the deck is hot,
132
00:05:08,672 --> 00:05:10,540
you boys sit down
and bet strong.
133
00:05:10,607 --> 00:05:13,543
Snot, you're Jewish; you'll
be in charge of the money.
134
00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:15,795
Steve, you'll be in
charge of watching Snot
135
00:05:15,863 --> 00:05:17,430
because I don't
trust Jews.
136
00:05:17,498 --> 00:05:19,132
Come on, let's go
play some blackjack.
137
00:05:19,199 --> 00:05:21,400
Now?
But we have geometry class.
138
00:05:21,468 --> 00:05:22,668
I'll write
you a note.
139
00:05:23,854 --> 00:05:25,838
Dear Math Bitch,
140
00:05:25,906 --> 00:05:27,690
These kids ain't showing up.
141
00:05:27,758 --> 00:05:29,942
Love, your main man.
142
00:05:30,010 --> 00:05:34,330
P.S. One plus one
equals the two of us.
143
00:05:34,398 --> 00:05:37,233
Plus one more
would be nice, though.
144
00:05:37,301 --> 00:05:40,102
Maybe Jill from the cafeteria
145
00:05:40,170 --> 00:05:44,223
or your sister Lisa--
you know, when she's legal.
146
00:05:48,996 --> 00:05:51,764
Our cappuccino maker is now
built right into the fridge.
147
00:05:51,832 --> 00:05:53,266
Ooh, what's this for?
148
00:05:53,333 --> 00:05:54,634
Dedicated drawer
to bring olives
149
00:05:54,701 --> 00:05:56,569
up to Mediterranean
room temperature.
150
00:05:56,637 --> 00:05:58,754
And look, this cabinet
is also a dishwasher.
151
00:05:58,822 --> 00:06:00,456
We put our dishes
away dirty.
152
00:06:00,524 --> 00:06:02,325
Son of a bitch!
153
00:06:02,392 --> 00:06:04,827
We did all of this in
just under three months.
154
00:06:04,895 --> 00:06:06,128
Three months
of living hell.
155
00:06:06,196 --> 00:06:08,397
It put such a strain
on our civil union.
156
00:06:08,465 --> 00:06:10,867
We're fortunate to have
such a strong relationship.
157
00:06:10,934 --> 00:06:13,536
Hey, Mom, maybe you and Dad
should redo our kitchen.
158
00:06:15,989 --> 00:06:18,491
You two shouldn't even
think about a renovation.
159
00:06:18,559 --> 00:06:21,961
Are, are you implying our
marriage isn't strong enough
160
00:06:22,029 --> 00:06:24,463
to withstand a little
construction project?
161
00:06:24,531 --> 00:06:27,400
50% of all marriages don't
survive a home remodel.
162
00:06:27,467 --> 00:06:29,001
First of all, don't
pretend you're married.
163
00:06:29,069 --> 00:06:30,436
It implies equality.
164
00:06:30,504 --> 00:06:33,206
Second of all, our marriage
can survive anything.
165
00:06:33,273 --> 00:06:34,423
Oh, yeah,
how about this?
166
00:06:34,491 --> 00:06:36,292
If your marriage survives
the remodel,
167
00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:38,294
we'll pay
for the whole thing.
168
00:06:39,997 --> 00:06:44,000
But if it doesn't, we get
your marriage license.
169
00:06:44,067 --> 00:06:45,968
You know that's not going
to make your marriage legal.
170
00:06:46,036 --> 00:06:48,204
No, I know, but it'll be
a moral victory.
171
00:06:48,272 --> 00:06:50,907
We'll cross your names out
and write our names in,
172
00:06:50,974 --> 00:06:52,808
like we did
on the Vietnam Memorial.
173
00:06:57,147 --> 00:06:58,147
You're on.
174
00:06:58,215 --> 00:06:59,782
This'll be easy
for us
175
00:06:59,850 --> 00:07:01,617
because we're a team.
176
00:07:01,685 --> 00:07:04,036
We're... we're...
177
00:07:04,104 --> 00:07:05,605
♪ We're Stan and Franny,
178
00:07:05,672 --> 00:07:07,623
♪ And we go together like... ♪
179
00:07:07,674 --> 00:07:09,258
Hell, no.
Hell, no!
180
00:07:09,326 --> 00:07:10,593
You do not come in here
181
00:07:10,661 --> 00:07:12,945
and start singing
a musical on my stage!
182
00:07:13,013 --> 00:07:14,664
Terry, calm down.
No!
183
00:07:14,731 --> 00:07:17,333
If anyone's singing a musical
number in this house, it's me.
184
00:07:17,401 --> 00:07:19,602
I will sing the cancan song
from Irma la Douce
185
00:07:19,670 --> 00:07:21,721
and bring you to tears!
186
00:07:21,805 --> 00:07:23,389
He'll do it; you
better go now.
187
00:07:23,457 --> 00:07:24,407
Aah!
188
00:07:24,474 --> 00:07:25,891
Five, six, seven, eight!
189
00:07:25,959 --> 00:07:28,711
♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪
190
00:07:28,779 --> 00:07:31,364
♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la-
la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪
191
00:07:31,431 --> 00:07:33,899
♪ Da, da, da, da,
da-da-da-da-da-da-da! ♪
192
00:07:33,984 --> 00:07:35,151
Well, my
weekend's shot.
193
00:07:35,202 --> 00:07:36,953
Thank you
for this.
194
00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:42,200
So you're really
going to renovate?
195
00:07:42,268 --> 00:07:43,601
That's right.
196
00:07:43,669 --> 00:07:45,136
How else are we going
to prove to Greg and Terry
197
00:07:45,204 --> 00:07:46,488
how strong our marriage is?
198
00:07:46,555 --> 00:07:47,906
Seems a little
juvenile,
199
00:07:47,973 --> 00:07:49,858
but as long as we're
getting new cabinets...
200
00:07:54,213 --> 00:07:55,747
So have you hired
a contractor yet?
201
00:07:55,815 --> 00:07:57,182
I could do this
job for you.
202
00:07:57,249 --> 00:07:58,550
Let me show you
some of my work.
203
00:07:58,617 --> 00:08:00,318
I built the addition
onto this home.
204
00:08:00,386 --> 00:08:02,187
Did it on time
and on budget,
205
00:08:02,254 --> 00:08:04,556
including low-flow
gumdrop toilets.
206
00:08:04,623 --> 00:08:05,757
We're not
using you, Roger.
207
00:08:05,825 --> 00:08:06,891
We already
hired someone.
208
00:08:07,943 --> 00:08:10,912
Everyone, meet Uzi Knesset.
209
00:08:10,980 --> 00:08:11,946
Hello, hello.
210
00:08:12,014 --> 00:08:13,815
An Israeli?
211
00:08:13,883 --> 00:08:16,651
All right.
212
00:08:16,719 --> 00:08:17,886
Okay, let's
get started.
213
00:08:17,953 --> 00:08:19,053
What color would you
like the kitchen?
214
00:08:19,121 --> 00:08:20,588
White.
215
00:08:20,656 --> 00:08:22,891
Great, now I have several
different shades of white
216
00:08:22,958 --> 00:08:24,125
for you to choose from.
217
00:08:24,193 --> 00:08:26,561
Snowflake.
Mother's Milk.
218
00:08:26,629 --> 00:08:28,429
Okay, we'll put a
pin in that for now.
219
00:08:28,497 --> 00:08:30,849
I'm okay,
I-I'm okay.
220
00:08:30,916 --> 00:08:33,351
Why is it
only me?
221
00:08:33,419 --> 00:08:35,220
There's our heavy mixer.
222
00:08:40,726 --> 00:08:42,677
Bacon's a little chewy.
223
00:08:42,745 --> 00:08:44,012
Yeah, it's raw.
224
00:08:44,079 --> 00:08:45,313
The stove
doesn't work.
225
00:08:45,381 --> 00:08:47,148
What about the, uh,
bacon machine?
226
00:08:47,216 --> 00:08:50,585
That's what Steve calls his
butt when he's making poops.
227
00:08:50,653 --> 00:08:51,719
Is that what you're
talking about?
228
00:08:51,787 --> 00:08:54,272
Yeah, I guess so.
229
00:08:54,356 --> 00:08:55,773
Have you guys picked
your white yet?
230
00:08:55,841 --> 00:08:57,775
We're still having
a loving debate about it.
231
00:08:57,843 --> 00:09:00,745
Okay, what about your style
of kitchen, then?
232
00:09:00,813 --> 00:09:02,213
Traditional.
Modern.
233
00:09:02,281 --> 00:09:03,414
Modern?
Why do you want modern?
234
00:09:03,482 --> 00:09:04,549
It's cool.
235
00:09:04,617 --> 00:09:05,750
Don't you want
to be cool?
236
00:09:05,818 --> 00:09:07,552
I think you know
I want to be cool.
237
00:09:07,620 --> 00:09:10,405
That's why I bought this.
238
00:09:10,472 --> 00:09:12,874
I'm sorry, but I have to put
my foot down, Francine.
239
00:09:12,942 --> 00:09:14,375
We're going
traditional.
240
00:09:14,443 --> 00:09:18,046
I've got a foot, too, Stan,
and I'm also putting it down
241
00:09:18,113 --> 00:09:19,747
in our modern kitchen!
242
00:09:19,815 --> 00:09:21,115
Knock-knock.
243
00:09:21,183 --> 00:09:23,618
Was that the sounds of
marital discord I heard?
244
00:09:23,669 --> 00:09:25,253
Just came by to measure
your marriage certificate.
245
00:09:25,321 --> 00:09:27,488
We want to hang it next
to the framed picture of me,
246
00:09:27,556 --> 00:09:30,158
when I bumped into Mario Lopez
at a Friday's.
247
00:09:30,226 --> 00:09:32,160
We were just
agreeing lovingly
248
00:09:32,228 --> 00:09:34,529
on how easy
all these decisions are.
249
00:09:34,597 --> 00:09:36,097
We're doing our kitchen
traditional
250
00:09:36,165 --> 00:09:37,232
with Mother's Milk White.
251
00:09:37,299 --> 00:09:39,067
Right, darling?
252
00:09:39,134 --> 00:09:41,869
Yes, of course, dear.
253
00:09:41,937 --> 00:09:43,304
Great, a decision.
254
00:09:43,372 --> 00:09:45,673
So you two boys--
you, uh...?
255
00:09:45,741 --> 00:09:47,141
Eh?
Mm-hmm.
256
00:09:47,209 --> 00:09:48,809
Hey, good for you.
257
00:09:48,861 --> 00:09:50,995
Live!
258
00:10:12,818 --> 00:10:14,786
Dealer busts.
259
00:10:14,853 --> 00:10:16,187
You win again.
260
00:10:16,255 --> 00:10:18,273
Dyn-o-mite!
261
00:10:19,925 --> 00:10:23,227
Principal Lewis, we're
raking it in over there.
262
00:10:23,312 --> 00:10:25,413
Uh, why are you dressed
like an Asian man?
263
00:10:25,481 --> 00:10:26,981
I'm in disguise.
264
00:10:27,049 --> 00:10:28,399
I'm into these
Hong Kong mothers
265
00:10:28,484 --> 00:10:32,303
for 22 large
and 14 small.
266
00:10:32,371 --> 00:10:35,740
They charge $14
for a Reuben here.
267
00:10:38,794 --> 00:10:40,795
You know, Knesset,
when I did the demo work
268
00:10:40,863 --> 00:10:43,564
on 312 Gingerbread Lane,
I had to be careful
269
00:10:43,632 --> 00:10:46,401
because a load-bearing candy
cane was holding up one wall,
270
00:10:46,468 --> 00:10:49,804
so I made an I-beam
out of half a Kit Kat.
271
00:10:49,872 --> 00:10:53,708
You are ugly, smelly, not fun,
and just my type.
272
00:10:53,776 --> 00:10:56,778
Tell me what I have to do to
make you fall in love with me.
273
00:10:56,845 --> 00:10:59,380
I've always wanted a bay window.
274
00:10:59,448 --> 00:11:01,316
Is that something
you can do, Uzi?
275
00:11:01,383 --> 00:11:02,450
I can do anything.
276
00:11:02,518 --> 00:11:03,885
Okay. Great.
277
00:11:03,952 --> 00:11:05,553
Let's put in
a bay window.
278
00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:08,723
Are you sure? Maybe you want to
talk to your husband about it?
279
00:11:08,791 --> 00:11:12,427
If he's gonna ram a traditional
kitchen down my throat,
280
00:11:12,494 --> 00:11:15,596
I'll dump out a bay window
on his chest.
281
00:11:15,664 --> 00:11:19,133
The Kit Kat melted
in the heat wave of '06,
282
00:11:19,201 --> 00:11:21,469
so I replaced it
with a strawberry Twizzler.
283
00:11:21,537 --> 00:11:25,006
You're a dour man, Uzi Knesset,
but I love you.
284
00:11:25,074 --> 00:11:26,374
I asked you not to,
285
00:11:26,442 --> 00:11:29,093
but you built a settlement
on my heart.
286
00:11:29,178 --> 00:11:31,963
♪ ♪
287
00:11:32,031 --> 00:11:36,367
All right, boys, time to have a
little fun with the winnings.
288
00:11:36,435 --> 00:11:38,503
Gentlemen,
we're gonna see boob.
289
00:11:38,570 --> 00:11:40,038
Afraid not.
290
00:11:40,105 --> 00:11:42,724
I'd like to bring you boys
in there, I really would,
291
00:11:42,791 --> 00:11:44,425
but the only 14-year-olds
allowed in there
292
00:11:44,493 --> 00:11:45,977
are performing
on the stage.
293
00:11:48,447 --> 00:11:49,714
Brian!
294
00:11:49,782 --> 00:11:51,349
Ladies!
295
00:11:51,417 --> 00:11:53,618
Alfred
Hitchcock!
296
00:11:53,686 --> 00:11:56,120
Good tail here
tonight, Brian.
297
00:12:00,959 --> 00:12:02,293
What's going on?!
298
00:12:02,361 --> 00:12:04,295
I didn't sign off
on a bay window!
299
00:12:04,363 --> 00:12:06,831
I did. I figured
it would let more light in
300
00:12:06,899 --> 00:12:09,333
to see the style of kitchen
I didn't want.
301
00:12:09,418 --> 00:12:11,285
A bay window,
you look at a bay.
302
00:12:11,353 --> 00:12:12,653
Through this, you look at...
303
00:12:12,721 --> 00:12:14,622
I'm really not certain
what this is.
304
00:12:20,579 --> 00:12:22,914
Well, I like
the window, Stan!
305
00:12:22,981 --> 00:12:25,183
Well, dumb bitches
like dumb things!
306
00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:27,118
Stan!
Ah, maybe that was excessive.
307
00:12:27,186 --> 00:12:28,920
Maybe?! You think
maybe, ass-chin!
308
00:12:28,987 --> 00:12:30,688
I want to have a say, too.
309
00:12:30,756 --> 00:12:32,306
You don't know what
you're talking about.
310
00:12:32,357 --> 00:12:34,325
I'm so sick and tired of you
doing everything your way.
311
00:12:34,410 --> 00:12:35,860
This is my house,
I know what I'm doing,
312
00:12:35,944 --> 00:12:37,662
and if you don't like it,
you can take a hike.
313
00:12:39,832 --> 00:12:41,032
They're looking.
314
00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:43,267
I don't want
to lose this bet. Quick.
315
00:12:43,335 --> 00:12:45,069
Pretend you're porking
me in the sink!
316
00:12:45,137 --> 00:12:46,504
We're doing it!
317
00:12:46,572 --> 00:12:48,873
'Cause it's
going so well.
318
00:12:51,643 --> 00:12:54,445
We've been doing this for weeks,
and I'm sick of it.
319
00:12:54,513 --> 00:12:56,447
The four of us win
tons of money,
320
00:12:56,515 --> 00:12:57,949
and Principal Lewis
spends it all
321
00:12:58,016 --> 00:13:00,118
on lap dances
and James Ingram CDs.
322
00:13:00,185 --> 00:13:01,886
I say
screw Lewis.
323
00:13:01,954 --> 00:13:03,554
We can count cards
on our own,
324
00:13:03,622 --> 00:13:04,889
and keep
all the money.
325
00:13:04,957 --> 00:13:06,991
What do you say?
Yeah, screw Lewis!
326
00:13:09,595 --> 00:13:11,562
"Yah Mo B There!"
327
00:13:11,630 --> 00:13:13,998
♪ Yah mo b there ♪
328
00:13:14,066 --> 00:13:16,134
♪ Up and over ♪
329
00:13:16,201 --> 00:13:18,703
♪ Yah mo b there ♪
330
00:13:18,771 --> 00:13:20,071
♪ Up and over ♪
331
00:13:20,139 --> 00:13:22,473
♪ Yah mo b there ♪
332
00:13:22,541 --> 00:13:27,779
♪ Whenever you call! ♪
333
00:13:27,846 --> 00:13:29,580
♪ ♪
334
00:13:34,586 --> 00:13:36,554
Hayley, would you
tell your mother
335
00:13:36,622 --> 00:13:38,723
I've got a song
for her to hum?
336
00:13:38,791 --> 00:13:41,425
It's called, "I Threw My
Humming Wife Out the Window.
337
00:13:41,493 --> 00:13:43,778
She Didn't Die, But
She Never Walked Again."
338
00:13:43,846 --> 00:13:46,481
Oh, my God, I'd love to
hear the wheelchair boy
339
00:13:46,548 --> 00:13:47,748
on Glee
sing that.
340
00:13:47,816 --> 00:13:50,034
You know he's not
a real paraplegic.
341
00:13:50,102 --> 00:13:51,652
Isn't that sad?
342
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,055
Indigo Girls are opening
for Wanda Sykes?
343
00:13:54,122 --> 00:13:56,324
A lot of softball-related
injuries in that room.
344
00:13:56,391 --> 00:13:57,825
Stan, quit boring
the newspaper.
345
00:13:57,893 --> 00:14:00,061
It's a wonder it still
shows up every day,
346
00:14:00,128 --> 00:14:01,796
knowing it has
to listen to you!
347
00:14:01,864 --> 00:14:03,297
Keep your voice down!
348
00:14:03,365 --> 00:14:05,566
You want to lose our marriage
certificate to the gays?
349
00:14:05,634 --> 00:14:08,803
Who cares?! I don't like
a traditional kitchen!
350
00:14:08,871 --> 00:14:10,238
Well, I don't like bay windows!
351
00:14:10,305 --> 00:14:11,489
Well, I don't believe
352
00:14:11,557 --> 00:14:13,191
you'll ever sail
around the world!
353
00:14:13,258 --> 00:14:15,026
Well, I've never even listened
to your dreams!
354
00:14:15,093 --> 00:14:17,378
I can't stand
listening to you!
355
00:14:17,446 --> 00:14:19,146
I can't stand
looking at you!
356
00:14:19,214 --> 00:14:21,516
Dad! I can't stand
living with you!
357
00:14:21,583 --> 00:14:22,850
Mom!
Great! Then move out!
358
00:14:22,918 --> 00:14:24,418
I'm not moving out!
359
00:14:24,486 --> 00:14:26,253
Well, I'm not
moving out!
360
00:14:31,310 --> 00:14:32,977
I saw this on
a Brady Bunch.
361
00:14:33,045 --> 00:14:35,079
You stay on your side,
I'll stay on mine.
362
00:14:35,147 --> 00:14:36,547
You got it, pal.
363
00:14:36,615 --> 00:14:39,650
We'll each decorate our side
of the house how we see fit.
364
00:14:39,735 --> 00:14:42,103
I've got a date
with Sam the Butcher.
365
00:14:42,170 --> 00:14:44,572
He's gonna bring me
his big, uncut salami.
366
00:14:46,742 --> 00:14:48,159
♪ ♪
367
00:14:48,243 --> 00:14:50,578
Ah, it was so easy back then.
368
00:14:58,579 --> 00:15:00,246
Your side
of the house sucks!
369
00:15:00,314 --> 00:15:03,316
Why? Because my chairs
don't have hooves?
370
00:15:03,384 --> 00:15:05,218
Uh, yeah,
for starters.
371
00:15:05,286 --> 00:15:07,854
Hey, your stupid finger
crossed the line.
372
00:15:07,938 --> 00:15:09,889
Stay off my side!
373
00:15:09,957 --> 00:15:11,958
I can't believe you
guys are separated.
374
00:15:12,026 --> 00:15:14,060
How are you gonna
live like this?
375
00:15:14,128 --> 00:15:17,063
Oh, I'm sure your mother
will be moving out in no time.
376
00:15:20,734 --> 00:15:22,952
How's the smell
over there, Franny?
377
00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:24,787
Too bad that bay window
doesn't open.
378
00:15:24,855 --> 00:15:27,824
Our old window
opened just fine.
379
00:15:27,892 --> 00:15:30,777
Once the mucus plug falls out,
380
00:15:30,845 --> 00:15:34,063
the next stage of birth
is called the bloody show.
381
00:15:36,217 --> 00:15:38,801
♪ ♪
382
00:15:43,206 --> 00:15:45,375
Check it out, ladies.
383
00:15:45,442 --> 00:15:49,012
Next time your man says
he's going out for Pinkberry,
384
00:15:49,079 --> 00:15:51,848
you better make sure
he's talking about yogurt!
385
00:15:51,899 --> 00:15:53,483
No!
386
00:15:56,153 --> 00:15:57,787
There.
387
00:15:57,855 --> 00:15:59,989
Now we live in completely
separate houses.
388
00:16:00,057 --> 00:16:02,041
I don't ever have
to look at you--
389
00:16:04,662 --> 00:16:06,896
Stan, what do you think
of my mural?
390
00:16:34,275 --> 00:16:37,510
Three, two, one.
391
00:16:37,578 --> 00:16:40,146
Happy New Year!
392
00:16:49,974 --> 00:16:51,674
Francine?
393
00:16:51,742 --> 00:16:53,409
Oh, Stan.
394
00:16:53,477 --> 00:16:55,478
How have you been?
395
00:16:55,546 --> 00:16:58,247
A little exhausted celebrating
all those holidays in one week
396
00:16:58,315 --> 00:17:00,016
just to make each other
feel bad.
397
00:17:00,084 --> 00:17:01,217
Yeah.
398
00:17:01,285 --> 00:17:02,919
So...
399
00:17:02,987 --> 00:17:04,754
Hey, honey, I found
the frozen waffles.
400
00:17:04,822 --> 00:17:06,222
Who the hell
is this guy?
401
00:17:06,290 --> 00:17:07,707
I don't know.
402
00:17:07,775 --> 00:17:09,676
Oh, sorry. I thought
you were my wife.
403
00:17:09,743 --> 00:17:11,778
She's got that
same sweater.
404
00:17:17,985 --> 00:17:21,587
So, maybe I'll... see you
around the neighborhood.
405
00:17:21,655 --> 00:17:23,556
Yeah.
406
00:17:26,026 --> 00:17:27,894
Stan?
Yeah?
407
00:17:29,964 --> 00:17:32,832
The toilet paper in your cart
doesn't work for you.
408
00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:35,468
You need the one
with the lumberjack on it.
409
00:17:35,536 --> 00:17:37,503
Oh. Thanks.
410
00:17:49,850 --> 00:17:52,118
Twenty-one?!
411
00:17:52,186 --> 00:17:54,220
What a pleasant surprise.
412
00:17:54,288 --> 00:17:55,738
We've made
over eight grand.
413
00:17:55,806 --> 00:17:58,908
What are you gonna do with
your share of the money, Barry?
414
00:17:58,976 --> 00:18:01,377
Hire a man to kill
an abortion doctor.
415
00:18:01,445 --> 00:18:04,681
I mean... buy video
games and bubble gum.
416
00:18:04,748 --> 00:18:06,549
I knew it!
417
00:18:06,617 --> 00:18:07,884
You backstabbers thought
418
00:18:07,951 --> 00:18:09,419
you could count cards
without me?
419
00:18:09,486 --> 00:18:10,853
Try to cut me out?
420
00:18:10,921 --> 00:18:12,655
No, sir,
we would never...
421
00:18:12,723 --> 00:18:13,656
Toshi, now!
422
00:18:16,377 --> 00:18:18,461
My Man-chu!
423
00:18:18,529 --> 00:18:20,913
Hey, you're
Brian Lewis.
424
00:18:20,981 --> 00:18:22,615
You owe us
22 large.
425
00:18:22,683 --> 00:18:24,150
Kill the kids!
426
00:18:24,218 --> 00:18:25,818
They're counting cards!
Oh, no.
427
00:18:25,886 --> 00:18:26,986
Kill them all!
428
00:18:42,019 --> 00:18:43,252
Okay.
429
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:44,520
Just keep quiet.
430
00:18:44,588 --> 00:18:46,155
We'll be safe here.
431
00:18:52,012 --> 00:18:53,479
Four Berettas,
two Glocks,
432
00:18:53,547 --> 00:18:55,848
and a Smith & Wesson with
a double stack magazine.
433
00:18:55,916 --> 00:18:57,316
All 88 shots
have been fired.
434
00:18:57,384 --> 00:18:58,918
They have no
bullets left.
435
00:18:58,986 --> 00:19:00,253
Are you sure, Barry?
436
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:01,921
Definitely sure.
437
00:19:01,989 --> 00:19:03,239
Okay, then,
438
00:19:03,290 --> 00:19:04,390
y'all gonna get cut!
439
00:19:05,642 --> 00:19:07,376
Aah! My hip-hop hooray arm!
440
00:19:11,465 --> 00:19:12,949
They only fired 87.
441
00:19:13,016 --> 00:19:15,251
I knew there was one left.
442
00:19:15,319 --> 00:19:16,919
Why, Rain Kid?
443
00:19:18,305 --> 00:19:21,858
Never touch
a fat boy's candy.
444
00:19:21,925 --> 00:19:24,861
Aah! No! Oh, no!
445
00:19:30,751 --> 00:19:32,251
♪ Like ♪
446
00:19:32,319 --> 00:19:34,287
♪ Bap, diddly
diddly doo wap... ♪
447
00:19:36,907 --> 00:19:38,674
♪ Like ♪
448
00:19:38,742 --> 00:19:41,110
♪ Bah-da-be,
de-dooh, be-dah... ♪
449
00:19:47,084 --> 00:19:48,167
Stan?
450
00:19:48,252 --> 00:19:50,503
Francine!
451
00:19:50,587 --> 00:19:52,388
Stan.
452
00:19:52,455 --> 00:19:53,773
Francine!
453
00:19:53,841 --> 00:19:55,641
Stan!
454
00:19:55,726 --> 00:19:57,143
Francine!
455
00:19:57,211 --> 00:19:59,461
Stan!
Francine!
456
00:20:01,982 --> 00:20:03,599
Stan!
457
00:20:04,718 --> 00:20:06,018
Francine!
458
00:20:06,103 --> 00:20:07,770
I miss holding you!
459
00:20:07,838 --> 00:20:10,072
Start making dinner immediately!
460
00:20:10,140 --> 00:20:12,575
Stan! Stan!
Francine!
461
00:20:12,642 --> 00:20:14,360
Stan!
Francine!
462
00:20:14,428 --> 00:20:16,412
Stan!
463
00:20:30,878 --> 00:20:33,212
Oh!
464
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:34,614
Take a picture.
465
00:20:34,681 --> 00:20:35,815
It'll last longer.
466
00:20:35,883 --> 00:20:38,434
I love you, Stan.
467
00:20:38,502 --> 00:20:40,002
Me, too, baby.
468
00:20:40,070 --> 00:20:42,205
But Greg and
Terry were right.
469
00:20:42,272 --> 00:20:44,340
Our marriage isn't strong
enough to survive a remodel.
470
00:20:44,408 --> 00:20:45,641
So let's not remodel.
471
00:20:45,709 --> 00:20:47,043
Exactly.
472
00:20:47,110 --> 00:20:48,477
We're great together,
473
00:20:48,545 --> 00:20:51,047
as long as we don't put
any stress on our marriage.
474
00:20:51,114 --> 00:20:52,748
It's like a rickety
bridge that's fine,
475
00:20:52,816 --> 00:20:55,117
as long as you don't drive
anything heavy over it.
476
00:20:55,185 --> 00:20:57,920
You know, I liked
the house the way it was.
477
00:20:57,988 --> 00:20:59,322
So did I.
478
00:20:59,389 --> 00:21:00,990
Imperfect, like us.
479
00:21:02,409 --> 00:21:04,076
U.S. Immigration!
Where is she?
480
00:21:04,144 --> 00:21:05,962
Run, Annabelle!
481
00:21:06,029 --> 00:21:09,529
== sync, corrected by elderman ==