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♪ Good morning, USA! ♪
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00:00:05,879 --> 00:00:09,698
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
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00:00:09,750 --> 00:00:12,635
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
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00:00:12,703 --> 00:00:16,839
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
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00:00:18,909 --> 00:00:22,411
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
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♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
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Aah!
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00:00:25,349 --> 00:00:28,419
♪ American Dad 6x09 ♪
Fartbreak Hotel
Original Air Date on January 16, 2011
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00:00:28,519 --> 00:00:31,119
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
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00:00:33,190 --> 00:00:35,291
♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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What in the hell is that?
15
00:01:31,295 --> 00:01:33,663
- My zucchini casserole.
- Zucchini?
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00:01:33,731 --> 00:01:36,733
Excuse me, but
this is not Italian squash.
17
00:01:36,801 --> 00:01:39,235
Yeah, the only thing Italian
about this situation
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00:01:39,303 --> 00:01:40,537
is your dirty lies!
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You're right--
it's not zucchini,
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it's okra.
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00:01:48,212 --> 00:01:50,180
I guess when I
was at the store,
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my mind was
somewhere else.
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See, sometimes I escape
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00:01:53,217 --> 00:01:55,068
to a little place
in my head
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00:01:55,136 --> 00:01:57,954
where no one complains
about the meals I cook.
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00:02:00,524 --> 00:02:04,027
And there's no more scraping snot
rockets off the shower tiles.
27
00:02:05,329 --> 00:02:08,298
And no more PB&J
with the crusts cut off.
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00:02:11,068 --> 00:02:13,403
Anyway, if you
don't want to eat it,
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00:02:13,471 --> 00:02:15,905
I can fix something else.
30
00:02:15,973 --> 00:02:18,508
Okra's great!
Yum!
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00:02:18,576 --> 00:02:19,776
Well, I'm not eating it.
32
00:02:19,844 --> 00:02:21,344
Okra gives me pretty bad gas.
33
00:02:21,412 --> 00:02:22,212
Just eat it.
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00:02:22,279 --> 00:02:23,513
Okay.
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00:02:23,581 --> 00:02:25,849
But don't complain
if I get pretty bad gas.
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00:02:31,055 --> 00:02:32,455
Stan!
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00:02:32,523 --> 00:02:34,157
The house must
be on fire!
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I don't see any flames.
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Then what is it?!
40
00:02:40,531 --> 00:02:41,798
Who farted?
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00:02:41,866 --> 00:02:43,199
This guy!
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00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:52,779
Well, whatever's in there
is off-the-charts toxic.
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00:02:53,081 --> 00:02:55,850
It's gonna take at least a
week to sanitize your house.
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00:02:55,854 --> 00:02:56,954
A week?!
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00:02:57,122 --> 00:02:59,123
Where are we supposed
to go for a week?
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Relax. Just leave it to me.
47
00:03:05,207 --> 00:03:07,676
Okay, I got us free rooms
for the whole week.
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00:03:07,718 --> 00:03:10,352
How'd you do that?
I stayed here back in the '80s
49
00:03:10,420 --> 00:03:11,954
and suffered
a terrible accident.
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00:03:12,022 --> 00:03:15,391
To avoid a lawsuit, the hotel gave me
a free week of rooms.
51
00:03:15,459 --> 00:03:17,693
Honestly, I forgot about
the whole thing until today.
52
00:03:17,761 --> 00:03:19,729
That fart really shook
some memories loose.
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Wow, I just remembered,
I was also in a legal battle
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with Nabisco.
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I claimed I was Asian
and sued over Cheese Nips.
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Anyway, everything's
complimentary--
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00:03:28,705 --> 00:03:30,940
room service, laundry, you name it.
You hear that, honey?
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00:03:31,007 --> 00:03:33,609
A whole week without you
having to take care of us.
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00:03:33,677 --> 00:03:35,745
Wow! Finally
some me time.
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00:03:35,812 --> 00:03:38,314
Stan and Francine,
here are keys to your room.
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00:03:38,381 --> 00:03:39,648
And, Steve,
here's yours.
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What about
my room?
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Got you covered.
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Oh, boy, what's in here?
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MALE NARRATOR:
Some say that was the end
of Klaus's story.
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00:03:51,795 --> 00:03:54,029
Some say it was
just the beginning.
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00:03:54,097 --> 00:03:57,566
No one ever says
it was the middle.
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00:04:00,737 --> 00:04:02,505
♪ ♪
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Bewitching,
isn't she?
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00:04:18,288 --> 00:04:19,722
I know you.
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00:04:19,790 --> 00:04:22,291
Weren't you the concierge
in Pretty Woman?
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00:04:22,359 --> 00:04:24,527
Yes. I'm Hector Elizondo.
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00:04:24,594 --> 00:04:28,464
I've played a concierge in
over 400 movies and TV pilots.
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00:04:28,532 --> 00:04:32,067
Acting pays the bills
so I can pursue my true passion:
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00:04:32,135 --> 00:04:34,570
concierging.
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00:04:34,638 --> 00:04:37,273
I don't mean to ignore
your strange monologue, but...
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00:04:37,340 --> 00:04:39,809
I can't take my eyes
off this enchanting vision.
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The moment I saw her,
I felt as I'd... met her before.
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00:04:43,713 --> 00:04:46,816
Impossible. The great artist
Patrick Nagel painted her
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00:04:46,883 --> 00:04:48,684
while staying
in this hotel...
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00:04:48,752 --> 00:04:50,419
in 1981.
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00:04:50,487 --> 00:04:52,521
Then I'm too late
to meet her.
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00:04:52,589 --> 00:04:55,024
God! If it were
only 1981 again!
84
00:04:55,091 --> 00:04:58,828
Well, young man...
perhaps it can be.
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00:05:00,163 --> 00:05:02,698
Excuse me, where can
I get some tampons?
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00:05:02,766 --> 00:05:04,066
Right over here, miss.
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I keep them next to my Tony.
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00:05:13,143 --> 00:05:16,645
Huh. No breakfast to make,
no clothes to wash.
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00:05:16,713 --> 00:05:19,448
I guess I can do
whatever I want.
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00:05:27,624 --> 00:05:28,991
What are you doing?
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00:05:29,059 --> 00:05:31,193
Laying out your
clothes for the day.
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00:05:31,261 --> 00:05:32,995
Honey, stop worrying about us.
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00:05:33,063 --> 00:05:35,798
Go spend time with Francine,
get to know her.
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00:05:35,866 --> 00:05:38,200
That's something
I always wish I'd done.
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00:05:38,268 --> 00:05:40,336
A-Are you sure?
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00:05:40,403 --> 00:05:43,105
I'm pretty sure
I can dress myself.
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00:05:43,173 --> 00:05:44,607
Uh, o-okay.
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00:05:44,674 --> 00:05:46,575
I'll just...
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00:05:46,643 --> 00:05:49,111
get to know me.
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00:05:50,881 --> 00:05:52,414
Oop, she forgot the socks.
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00:05:54,351 --> 00:05:56,552
Now, which ones
go with the suit,
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00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:58,754
navy or black?
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00:05:58,822 --> 00:06:00,289
Francine!
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00:06:00,357 --> 00:06:01,857
Do you like horseback riding?
105
00:06:01,925 --> 00:06:04,093
Hang gliding?
I-I don't know.
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00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,495
Okay. How do you
spend your time?
107
00:06:06,563 --> 00:06:08,564
Well, for the last 20 years,
108
00:06:08,632 --> 00:06:10,799
I've just taken care
of my family.
109
00:06:10,867 --> 00:06:13,602
Sounds like someone
needs to get a life.
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00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,341
Sounds like someone
needs to get a life...
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00:06:19,409 --> 00:06:21,510
get a life... get a life...
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00:06:23,179 --> 00:06:24,380
Do you know Sarah Blanch,
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00:06:24,447 --> 00:06:26,048
the OmniSlab concrete
rep from Chicago?
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00:06:26,116 --> 00:06:28,717
No, but I hear she's finally coming
to one of these conventions.
115
00:06:28,785 --> 00:06:31,553
I just heard she was in an
accident on her way here.
116
00:06:31,621 --> 00:06:33,622
Car went over a cliff
and into a river.
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00:06:33,690 --> 00:06:35,891
That's horrible!
She's presumed dead.
118
00:06:35,959 --> 00:06:37,927
But nothing's concrete.
119
00:06:39,796 --> 00:06:42,064
But seriously,
she's probably dead.
120
00:06:44,868 --> 00:06:47,202
I know who you are!
You do?
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There's only one name tag left.
122
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You must be Sarah Blanch.
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00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:53,108
Someone needs to get a life...
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00:06:53,176 --> 00:06:54,443
get a life...
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00:06:54,511 --> 00:06:56,145
get a life...
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00:06:56,212 --> 00:06:57,813
Y... es!
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00:06:57,881 --> 00:07:00,382
That's me!
I am Sarah Blanch.
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00:07:02,385 --> 00:07:04,853
Someone needs
to get naked...
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00:07:04,921 --> 00:07:07,589
get naked...
get naked...
130
00:07:07,657 --> 00:07:10,192
Please, God,
not you...
131
00:07:10,260 --> 00:07:11,894
not you...
not you...
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00:07:15,973 --> 00:07:18,275
So, welcome everyone, and, uh,
133
00:07:18,342 --> 00:07:20,577
let's make this
concrete sellers convention
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00:07:20,645 --> 00:07:23,046
the most solid one ever.
135
00:07:25,917 --> 00:07:27,250
Sarah Blanch!
136
00:07:27,318 --> 00:07:30,287
Pam Deakins!
The Bakersfield rep!
137
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We've done business
on the phone!
138
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Oh...!
139
00:07:33,925 --> 00:07:36,393
Bakersfield Pam!
140
00:07:36,460 --> 00:07:39,563
You know, Sarah, there's
a rumor that you died in a
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00:07:39,630 --> 00:07:41,031
car crash.
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00:07:41,098 --> 00:07:43,099
A what?
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00:07:43,167 --> 00:07:44,801
Oh, my, no!
144
00:07:44,869 --> 00:07:47,370
I was just dying
to be here!
145
00:07:47,438 --> 00:07:49,773
If you're like me,
146
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,642
you were dying to get away
from your family for a week.
147
00:07:52,710 --> 00:07:54,511
Actually, I...
148
00:07:54,579 --> 00:07:56,546
don't have a family.
149
00:07:56,614 --> 00:08:00,050
Nope. My life is all about me.
150
00:08:00,117 --> 00:08:03,219
Horseback riding
and hang gliding
151
00:08:03,287 --> 00:08:04,788
and, um...
152
00:08:04,855 --> 00:08:07,591
having sex with some of
Chicago's many Polacks.
153
00:08:07,658 --> 00:08:09,859
Sounds like
the life to me!
154
00:08:09,927 --> 00:08:11,161
Hi, Sarah.
Pete Pendelman,
155
00:08:11,228 --> 00:08:12,896
concrete man
out of Pheboygan.
156
00:08:12,963 --> 00:08:14,247
Let's walk and talk.
157
00:08:14,315 --> 00:08:15,882
What are you doing?
158
00:08:15,950 --> 00:08:18,852
What? On a whim, I decided
to be a saleswoman
159
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:20,887
who didn't show
up-- big deal.
160
00:08:20,955 --> 00:08:23,657
No, I-I get it-- you need
a little escape from Francine.
161
00:08:23,724 --> 00:08:25,942
We are gonna have
so much fun this week!
162
00:08:26,010 --> 00:08:29,312
Yeah. We'll mingle,
go to cocktail mixers...
163
00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:32,015
Oh, no-- Pete Pendelman
is a recovering alcoholic.
164
00:08:32,083 --> 00:08:34,851
I started hitting the bottle
after my wife died...
165
00:08:34,919 --> 00:08:38,054
during breast reduction surgery
that I made her get.
166
00:08:38,122 --> 00:08:40,490
She was pregnant at the time!
167
00:08:40,558 --> 00:08:42,359
Anyway, we're
gonna have a blast--
168
00:08:42,426 --> 00:08:45,161
as long as the real
Sarah Blanch doesn't show up.
169
00:08:45,229 --> 00:08:47,597
Oh, don't worry--
Sarah Blanch is dead.
170
00:09:00,911 --> 00:09:02,846
Stop torturing
yourself, Steve.
171
00:09:02,913 --> 00:09:04,414
You'll never
have her...
172
00:09:04,482 --> 00:09:06,249
unless you believe in...
173
00:09:06,317 --> 00:09:07,851
time travel!
174
00:09:09,987 --> 00:09:11,321
What?
175
00:09:11,389 --> 00:09:13,623
Oh, sorry,
wrong brochure.
176
00:09:13,691 --> 00:09:16,192
Whoa! This claims you
could travel back in time
177
00:09:16,260 --> 00:09:17,894
using only your mind!
178
00:09:17,962 --> 00:09:19,629
Do you know
what this means?
179
00:09:19,697 --> 00:09:22,666
Yes. You can go back in
time, watch me be born,
180
00:09:22,733 --> 00:09:25,335
and be the first
person to hold me.
181
00:09:25,403 --> 00:09:26,870
Just kidding!
182
00:09:26,937 --> 00:09:29,773
Go back to 1981 and
get your dream girl!
183
00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:32,375
Thanks, Hector!
184
00:09:32,443 --> 00:09:36,146
Who will hug baby Hector?
185
00:09:39,917 --> 00:09:41,251
You tap-dance, too?
186
00:09:41,318 --> 00:09:42,485
Wow, Sarah!
187
00:09:42,553 --> 00:09:44,254
How many hobbies
do you have?
188
00:09:44,321 --> 00:09:45,288
Five.
189
00:09:45,356 --> 00:09:46,589
Wow!
Five?
190
00:09:46,657 --> 00:09:47,957
Pete, you've been quiet.
191
00:09:48,025 --> 00:09:49,459
What about your family?
You married?
192
00:09:51,062 --> 00:09:55,532
Two years ago my wife was killed
by a plastic surgeon in Ecuador.
193
00:09:55,599 --> 00:09:57,233
I found him on Yelp.
194
00:09:57,301 --> 00:09:59,035
I gave him two stars.
195
00:09:59,103 --> 00:10:02,939
Her breasts looked amazing
during the open-casket.
196
00:10:03,007 --> 00:10:05,809
So I... was married.
197
00:10:15,119 --> 00:10:17,120
Looks like Sarah's
day is over.
198
00:10:17,188 --> 00:10:18,204
Aw...
Aw...
199
00:10:18,272 --> 00:10:19,823
Excuse me, Miss Blanch.
200
00:10:19,890 --> 00:10:24,027
We show you still haven't checked
into your executive suite.
201
00:10:26,697 --> 00:10:28,298
Whoa!
202
00:10:28,365 --> 00:10:31,267
A complimentary
bucket of Coronas?!
203
00:10:31,335 --> 00:10:33,603
Sarah must be
super important!
204
00:10:35,956 --> 00:10:38,508
Hey, let's order huge
sundaes from room service
205
00:10:38,576 --> 00:10:40,410
and just pig out!
206
00:10:40,478 --> 00:10:43,246
Oh, no sweets for Pete--
I have stage two diabetes.
207
00:10:43,314 --> 00:10:44,414
In fact...
208
00:10:49,787 --> 00:10:52,388
Really?
209
00:10:54,658 --> 00:10:57,660
I could get used
to being Sarah Blanch.
210
00:10:59,063 --> 00:11:01,564
♪ ♪
211
00:11:20,668 --> 00:11:23,286
How the hell does she
know how to tap-dance?
212
00:11:23,337 --> 00:11:26,673
Because she's Sarah
Blanch!
213
00:11:26,757 --> 00:11:28,191
Hey!
214
00:11:28,259 --> 00:11:29,709
You're a
loudmouth, Doug.
215
00:11:29,794 --> 00:11:31,678
You're loud.
216
00:11:31,762 --> 00:11:33,263
All right, Steve,
217
00:11:33,330 --> 00:11:37,367
this is exactly how your
hotel room looked in 1981.
218
00:11:37,434 --> 00:11:39,302
Whoa. A waterbed!
219
00:11:41,205 --> 00:11:42,772
So, basically,
220
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,975
I just concentrate as hard
as I can that I'm in 1981,
221
00:11:46,043 --> 00:11:48,244
and I'll be transported
back in time
222
00:11:48,312 --> 00:11:50,213
to meet my dream girl
from the painting?
223
00:11:50,281 --> 00:11:51,514
Yes, Steve.
224
00:11:51,582 --> 00:11:54,250
What is so hard
to understand about that?
225
00:11:54,318 --> 00:11:57,787
Okay, it's May 14, 1981.
226
00:11:57,855 --> 00:12:00,957
President Jimmy Carter leaves
the White House in disgrace.
227
00:12:01,025 --> 00:12:03,159
Pope John Paul II
is shot in Rome
228
00:12:03,227 --> 00:12:05,195
by a deranged Jimmy Carter.
229
00:12:05,262 --> 00:12:08,832
Jimmy Carter kidnaps and devours
13 Christian babies.
230
00:12:08,899 --> 00:12:11,334
Hmm. Maybe I should have read
a real history book
231
00:12:11,402 --> 00:12:13,269
instead of the one Dad wrote.
232
00:12:16,974 --> 00:12:18,975
Did it work? Is it 1981?
233
00:12:24,081 --> 00:12:25,215
Roger?!
234
00:12:25,282 --> 00:12:26,749
Damn it, it didn't work.
235
00:12:26,817 --> 00:12:28,084
Who's Roger?
236
00:12:28,152 --> 00:12:30,920
The name's Reaganomics
Lamborghini, Jacuzzi dealer.
237
00:12:30,988 --> 00:12:34,123
Want to smoke cocaine out of my
pipe made from a Rubik's Cube?
238
00:12:38,696 --> 00:12:40,496
Sir, are you
all right?!
239
00:12:40,564 --> 00:12:42,031
I was sitting on
this waterbed
240
00:12:42,099 --> 00:12:43,416
minding my own
my business
241
00:12:43,484 --> 00:12:44,517
when it spontaneously exploded!
242
00:12:44,585 --> 00:12:46,252
I demand a week
of free rooms,
243
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:47,921
or I'll sue the
crap of you!
244
00:12:47,988 --> 00:12:49,355
Wait a second.
245
00:12:53,844 --> 00:12:55,078
I made it!
246
00:12:55,145 --> 00:12:57,013
It's 1981.
247
00:12:57,081 --> 00:12:58,982
♪ ♪
248
00:13:06,457 --> 00:13:08,157
Hey, I just got
another crazy text
249
00:13:08,225 --> 00:13:09,759
from Stan about socks.
250
00:13:09,827 --> 00:13:11,060
Is he okay?
251
00:13:11,111 --> 00:13:12,195
Oh, I'm sure
he's fine.
252
00:13:20,738 --> 00:13:23,573
Look, I don't have time
for anyone else right now.
253
00:13:23,641 --> 00:13:25,475
I'm too busy
living my own life.
254
00:13:25,542 --> 00:13:26,776
But it's not your life.
255
00:13:26,844 --> 00:13:28,077
It belongs to...
256
00:13:28,145 --> 00:13:29,612
Sarah, where
have you been?
257
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:31,147
You have to
give your speech.
258
00:13:31,215 --> 00:13:32,882
What?
259
00:13:32,950 --> 00:13:35,318
There she is, our
closing speaker,
260
00:13:35,386 --> 00:13:38,588
OmniSlab rep,
Sarah Blanch.
261
00:13:38,656 --> 00:13:40,690
All right, you've taken Sarah
as far as she can go.
262
00:13:40,758 --> 00:13:41,891
Let's make a run for it.
263
00:13:41,959 --> 00:13:43,393
Come on up, Sarah.
264
00:13:50,768 --> 00:13:53,336
You... dumb bitch.
265
00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:03,279
Hello.
266
00:14:03,347 --> 00:14:06,599
Um, I'm here to talk about...
267
00:14:06,667 --> 00:14:11,170
rebar placement and planned
gap structure coordination.
268
00:14:11,238 --> 00:14:12,538
Huh?!
269
00:14:16,260 --> 00:14:17,660
You know what?
270
00:14:17,728 --> 00:14:19,295
No.
271
00:14:19,363 --> 00:14:22,765
What I'd really like
to talk about is the, um...
272
00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:24,734
uh... uh...
273
00:14:26,003 --> 00:14:28,237
The Chinese.
274
00:14:29,273 --> 00:14:30,773
The Chinese threat
275
00:14:30,841 --> 00:14:32,976
to our domestic
concrete industry.
276
00:14:34,111 --> 00:14:35,745
There are over a million
277
00:14:35,813 --> 00:14:38,481
Chinese people in China alone.
278
00:14:38,549 --> 00:14:42,085
And I'm here to tell you,
they are a-coming, folks.
279
00:14:42,152 --> 00:14:44,721
They know math,
they know kung-fu,
280
00:14:44,788 --> 00:14:48,157
and they've been going pee-pee
in our Coke for years!
281
00:14:48,225 --> 00:14:52,161
So let's keep the yella out
of our red, white and blue.
282
00:14:53,564 --> 00:14:55,364
Way to go, Sarah!
283
00:14:57,167 --> 00:14:58,434
Yeah!
284
00:15:04,708 --> 00:15:06,542
Nagel,
you're a genius!
285
00:15:06,610 --> 00:15:08,444
Sun-faded prints
of your paintings
286
00:15:08,512 --> 00:15:11,247
will never be found
in Korean hair salons.
287
00:15:13,984 --> 00:15:16,319
Mr. Nagel, sir,
288
00:15:16,387 --> 00:15:18,788
I have traveled a great
distance to see you.
289
00:15:18,856 --> 00:15:20,923
You paint
my dream girl today,
290
00:15:20,991 --> 00:15:22,625
and I need to know
who she is.
291
00:15:22,693 --> 00:15:25,828
Oh, I'm touched
by your passion, young man.
292
00:15:25,896 --> 00:15:28,865
I'll help you
on your lover's quest,
293
00:15:28,932 --> 00:15:32,468
but first,
share in some cherry wine.
294
00:15:34,571 --> 00:15:38,207
Um, cherry wine
tastes pretty weird.
295
00:15:38,275 --> 00:15:41,844
That's because I put a bunch
of weird illegal things in it!
296
00:15:44,782 --> 00:15:46,616
Nagel, you
son of a bitch,
297
00:15:46,683 --> 00:15:48,785
let's drug
some kids.
298
00:15:48,852 --> 00:15:50,653
Oh, you kidding me?
299
00:15:50,721 --> 00:15:52,321
You already cut
the turkey?
300
00:15:55,125 --> 00:15:56,492
Well, Sarah,
it's been fun,
301
00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,628
but all good characters
must to come end.
302
00:15:58,695 --> 00:16:00,163
Sarah, Jed Farnsworth
303
00:16:00,230 --> 00:16:02,131
of The Cherino
Concrete Corporation.
304
00:16:02,199 --> 00:16:04,500
I haven't heard someone speak
with that much passion
305
00:16:04,568 --> 00:16:06,769
since my fat friend
discovered Buca di Beppo.
306
00:16:06,837 --> 00:16:09,138
Wow. Thank you.
307
00:16:09,206 --> 00:16:11,908
Look, I want you to come manage
my Portland facility.
308
00:16:11,975 --> 00:16:15,578
It's the most prestigious job
in the concrete industry.
309
00:16:15,646 --> 00:16:17,547
I... I don't
know what to say.
310
00:16:17,614 --> 00:16:20,483
Say yes, and tomorrow,
you can fly to your new life
311
00:16:20,551 --> 00:16:23,853
in Economy Plus
with only one stop in Denver.
312
00:16:24,988 --> 00:16:26,289
What are you doing?
313
00:16:26,356 --> 00:16:27,757
What's there to
even think about?
314
00:16:27,825 --> 00:16:29,125
You're right.
315
00:16:29,193 --> 00:16:30,560
Mr. Farnsworth?
316
00:16:30,627 --> 00:16:32,361
I'll take that
job in Portland.
317
00:16:32,429 --> 00:16:33,963
Wait. What?!
318
00:16:36,333 --> 00:16:38,067
Well, there goes
my two-year chip.
319
00:16:39,837 --> 00:16:42,038
Stale as the dickens.
320
00:16:42,106 --> 00:16:44,474
Thank you to Timothy Crehan
of Salina, Kansas
321
00:16:44,541 --> 00:16:46,742
for sending us this week's
winning joke.
322
00:16:52,180 --> 00:16:54,665
Francine, you're not actually
taking the job in Portland?
323
00:16:54,732 --> 00:16:56,333
Think about your family.
324
00:16:56,401 --> 00:16:58,101
Francine Smith
spent her whole life
325
00:16:58,169 --> 00:17:00,871
thinking about her family,
and what did it do for her?
326
00:17:00,939 --> 00:17:02,072
Nada.
327
00:17:03,441 --> 00:17:04,741
Francine, listen to me...
328
00:17:04,809 --> 00:17:06,109
Wait. You throwing that away?
329
00:17:06,177 --> 00:17:08,045
This would make a perfect cape.
330
00:17:09,213 --> 00:17:12,049
I am The Tender Vigilante.
331
00:17:13,985 --> 00:17:17,621
This city's in pain,
and it needs my tender justice.
332
00:17:19,223 --> 00:17:21,892
Oh, my God, it's working!
333
00:17:27,031 --> 00:17:28,699
Hey, Sleepyhead.
334
00:17:28,766 --> 00:17:30,434
Wha... What happened?
335
00:17:30,501 --> 00:17:32,135
You passed out.
336
00:17:32,203 --> 00:17:33,704
It's a shame.
337
00:17:33,771 --> 00:17:37,374
You missed the creation
of my latest masterpiece.
338
00:17:38,276 --> 00:17:39,643
She was here?!
339
00:17:39,711 --> 00:17:41,178
And I missed her?!
340
00:17:41,245 --> 00:17:43,246
No, my dear Smurf,
341
00:17:43,314 --> 00:17:45,215
you are her!
342
00:17:45,283 --> 00:17:47,150
While you slumbered,
I stripped you naked,
343
00:17:47,218 --> 00:17:50,487
placed a black wig on you,
put a cougar in your lap and...
344
00:17:51,723 --> 00:17:52,823
...voila!
345
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,761
No!
346
00:18:01,833 --> 00:18:04,334
The girl in the painting
was you, wasn't it, Steve?
347
00:18:04,402 --> 00:18:06,403
How... H-How did you know?
348
00:18:06,471 --> 00:18:08,805
Because I was once in love, too.
349
00:18:16,097 --> 00:18:18,949
The Tender Vigilante
doesn't have...
350
00:18:19,017 --> 00:18:20,968
insurance.
351
00:18:25,323 --> 00:18:27,024
Welcome aboard, Sarah.
352
00:18:43,875 --> 00:18:46,810
Ms. Blanch, your limo is waiting
to take you to the airport.
353
00:18:46,878 --> 00:18:48,145
Thank you, Jonathan.
354
00:18:48,212 --> 00:18:49,946
And did you give any thought
355
00:18:50,014 --> 00:18:51,815
to joining my family
for Christmas dinner?
356
00:18:51,883 --> 00:18:54,451
We hate the thought of you
spending another holiday alone.
357
00:18:54,519 --> 00:18:56,586
Thank you, Jonathan,
but I'll be working.
358
00:18:56,654 --> 00:18:59,156
Plus, you know
I don't dine with robots.
359
00:18:59,223 --> 00:19:01,291
Oh, but you weren't complaining
last night
360
00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:04,861
when I spent the better part
of two hours eating your baaa...
361
00:19:19,477 --> 00:19:21,812
Broxton, before we go
to the hotel,
362
00:19:21,879 --> 00:19:24,181
can we make a stop first?
363
00:19:36,894 --> 00:19:39,863
I've seen enough, Broxton.
364
00:19:44,736 --> 00:19:47,370
Ms. Blanch!
365
00:19:47,438 --> 00:19:49,806
Back for another
concrete convention.
366
00:19:49,874 --> 00:19:51,708
It's been ten years
367
00:19:51,776 --> 00:19:53,910
and three more
Garry Marshall movies.
368
00:19:53,978 --> 00:19:55,378
Let me ask.
369
00:19:55,446 --> 00:19:57,214
Are you happy with the life
you've chosen?
370
00:19:57,281 --> 00:19:58,815
No.
371
00:19:58,883 --> 00:20:00,016
No, I'm not.
372
00:20:00,084 --> 00:20:02,385
Well, there's always
a way back.
373
00:20:05,757 --> 00:20:07,591
Uh...
Sorry.
374
00:20:07,658 --> 00:20:08,759
Here.
375
00:20:15,900 --> 00:20:18,802
The Tender Vigilante
doesn't have...
376
00:20:18,870 --> 00:20:20,804
insurance.
377
00:20:24,175 --> 00:20:25,909
We need to talk.
378
00:20:25,977 --> 00:20:27,677
I'm you from
the future.
379
00:20:27,745 --> 00:20:29,079
Really?
380
00:20:29,147 --> 00:20:31,615
When did I get
Paulie Walnut's hair?
381
00:20:31,682 --> 00:20:33,517
Don't get in that car.
382
00:20:37,388 --> 00:20:39,089
Bye, guys.
Have a good day.
383
00:20:39,157 --> 00:20:40,624
Wait. What
about breakfast?
384
00:20:40,691 --> 00:20:44,594
I'm happy to make you breakfast
every day except Thursday.
385
00:20:44,662 --> 00:20:46,429
Thursdays are for me.
386
00:20:48,933 --> 00:20:50,934
And from that moment on,
387
00:20:51,002 --> 00:20:53,703
Francine made Thursday her day.
388
00:20:53,771 --> 00:20:56,439
A day to do
whatever she pleased.
389
00:20:56,507 --> 00:20:58,208
Yeah, girl.
390
00:20:58,276 --> 00:20:59,576
Do your thang.
391
00:20:59,644 --> 00:21:01,978
Get your Thursday on.
392
00:21:07,018 --> 00:21:09,619
Man, was that close.
393
00:21:09,719 --> 00:21:13,219
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
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