1 00:00:03,659 --> 00:00:06,461 ♪ Good morning, USA! ♪ 2 00:00:06,529 --> 00:00:10,365 ♪ I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 3 00:00:10,416 --> 00:00:13,335 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 4 00:00:13,403 --> 00:00:17,472 ♪ And he's shining a salute to the American race ♪ 5 00:00:19,542 --> 00:00:23,061 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 6 00:00:23,146 --> 00:00:24,930 ♪ Good... ♪ ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 7 00:00:25,014 --> 00:00:26,581 Aah! 8 00:00:26,649 --> 00:00:30,952 ♪ American Dad 6x06 ♪ There Will Be Bad Blood Original Air Date on November 289, 2010 9 00:00:31,152 --> 00:00:34,752 == Sync, corrected by elderman == == for www.addic7ed.com == 10 00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:42,300 Come on, people, I want this place to look nice. 11 00:00:42,430 --> 00:00:43,564 Family is coming. 12 00:00:43,631 --> 00:00:45,132 Francine, did you pick up Champagne? 13 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,434 Yeah, I just picked her up from the bus stop. 14 00:00:47,502 --> 00:00:50,137 Miss Francine, did you move the gravy boat? 15 00:00:50,205 --> 00:00:52,139 It's above the microwave, dear. 16 00:00:52,207 --> 00:00:53,540 Klaus, you look great. 17 00:00:53,608 --> 00:00:56,376 Thanks, it's just Banana Republic. 18 00:00:56,444 --> 00:00:59,046 How... do I look? 19 00:00:59,113 --> 00:01:01,348 Steve, you know my half brother is Native American. 20 00:01:01,416 --> 00:01:02,950 But we made these in school. 21 00:01:03,017 --> 00:01:05,485 Those things are sacred, like yarmulkes for the Jews 22 00:01:05,553 --> 00:01:08,388 or cowboy hats for ugly sluts at music festivals. 23 00:01:08,456 --> 00:01:10,624 Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. 24 00:01:10,692 --> 00:01:12,993 There's my favorite nephew. 25 00:01:13,061 --> 00:01:15,696 Butterfly knife and a Hustler. 26 00:01:15,763 --> 00:01:17,064 Thanks, Uncle Kappy. 27 00:01:17,131 --> 00:01:18,565 I'm not Uncle Kappy just yet. 28 00:01:18,633 --> 00:01:20,067 I still have to get drunk. 29 00:01:20,134 --> 00:01:21,602 Now, then, where is the good booze 30 00:01:21,669 --> 00:01:23,737 that you only pull out to show off to your half brother? 31 00:01:23,805 --> 00:01:25,873 I don't pull out the nice Scotch to show off. 32 00:01:25,940 --> 00:01:27,641 I do it in the spirit of the holiday 33 00:01:27,709 --> 00:01:29,276 to share with the ones I love. 34 00:01:29,344 --> 00:01:30,894 Oh, please, you have them over every year 35 00:01:30,979 --> 00:01:32,746 just so you can feel like a big shot. 36 00:01:32,814 --> 00:01:34,114 Roger's right, Dad. 37 00:01:34,182 --> 00:01:36,850 You totally get off on how much more successful you are 38 00:01:36,918 --> 00:01:38,285 than your half brother. 39 00:01:38,353 --> 00:01:40,487 Hayley, trust me, you have no idea what gets me off 40 00:01:40,555 --> 00:01:41,922 and you probably never will. 41 00:01:41,990 --> 00:01:43,891 Look, Rusty and his family have nothing. 42 00:01:43,958 --> 00:01:45,525 I invite them here so they can enjoy 43 00:01:45,593 --> 00:01:47,527 all we've been blessed with. 44 00:01:47,595 --> 00:01:49,263 I might be wealthier than Rusty, 45 00:01:49,330 --> 00:01:51,198 but it's not like I rub it in his face. 46 00:01:51,266 --> 00:01:52,699 Rusty. 47 00:01:52,767 --> 00:01:55,702 Hey, feel this, it's cashmere. 48 00:01:58,106 --> 00:01:59,640 Thank you for having us. 49 00:01:59,707 --> 00:02:02,276 Sooleawa'Uha likes to escape the desert heat, 50 00:02:02,343 --> 00:02:05,145 and I know Glenn looks forward to this all the year long. 51 00:02:05,213 --> 00:02:06,480 I know what that's like. 52 00:02:06,547 --> 00:02:08,415 I look forward to coming here every day, too, 53 00:02:08,483 --> 00:02:10,884 to this big-ass house, yeah... 54 00:02:10,952 --> 00:02:12,386 I make money. 55 00:02:12,453 --> 00:02:13,654 Here you go, Rusty. 56 00:02:13,721 --> 00:02:14,938 I can't believe it's been a whole year 57 00:02:15,006 --> 00:02:16,173 since you've been here. 58 00:02:16,241 --> 00:02:17,858 We have so much new stuff to show you. 59 00:02:17,926 --> 00:02:20,060 Steve, show Glenn your new X-Cube. 60 00:02:20,128 --> 00:02:22,829 The "X" is for "x-pensive." 61 00:02:25,099 --> 00:02:26,667 Look at those graphics 62 00:02:26,734 --> 00:02:29,169 on that high-def, no-glare screen. 63 00:02:29,237 --> 00:02:30,837 You can even shine a flashlight on it. 64 00:02:30,905 --> 00:02:32,105 See, no glare. 65 00:02:32,173 --> 00:02:34,041 And you should see the blacks on this thing. 66 00:02:34,108 --> 00:02:35,809 Steve, pop in The Nutty Professor. 67 00:02:35,877 --> 00:02:38,545 And check out this flashlight-- halogen. 68 00:02:38,613 --> 00:02:40,380 This thing's bright as ... 69 00:02:40,448 --> 00:02:44,017 The four burners allow me to make four things at once. 70 00:02:44,085 --> 00:02:46,186 That's hot as ... 71 00:02:46,254 --> 00:02:50,123 Welcome to the Smith house. 72 00:02:55,330 --> 00:02:58,098 You know, this day is about giving thanks, 73 00:02:58,166 --> 00:02:59,833 and I'll tell you what I'm thankful for-- 74 00:02:59,901 --> 00:03:03,236 having family I get to spend each Thanksgiving with. 75 00:03:03,271 --> 00:03:05,005 I'm glad that when my dad walked 76 00:03:05,073 --> 00:03:06,873 into that nightclub in Santa Fe, 77 00:03:06,941 --> 00:03:09,376 eyes damaged by the New Mexican sun, 78 00:03:09,444 --> 00:03:11,044 he bedded your Cherokee mother, 79 00:03:11,112 --> 00:03:13,513 having mistaken her for a person. 80 00:03:15,249 --> 00:03:16,249 I love you, bro. 81 00:03:16,317 --> 00:03:18,185 You're my Thanksgiving Miracle. 82 00:03:18,252 --> 00:03:19,820 "Thanksgiving Miracle"? 83 00:03:19,887 --> 00:03:21,455 You're thinking of "Christmas Miracle." 84 00:03:21,522 --> 00:03:22,489 Oh, no, Hayley. 85 00:03:22,557 --> 00:03:23,790 Me thinkum you forgottum 86 00:03:23,858 --> 00:03:25,993 the story of the Thanksgiving Miracle. 87 00:03:26,060 --> 00:03:29,329 It all started at a place called Pontiac Rock. 88 00:03:29,397 --> 00:03:32,199 Well, the Pilgrims arrived and they didn't know what to do. 89 00:03:32,266 --> 00:03:33,734 The land was all undeveloped 90 00:03:33,801 --> 00:03:35,969 because the Indians hadn't done any work. 91 00:03:36,037 --> 00:03:38,972 It was all weeds, no sprinklers, nothing, 92 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,241 just nothing. 93 00:03:41,309 --> 00:03:42,743 They couldn't get anything to grow 94 00:03:42,810 --> 00:03:45,078 or even make shelter before the harsh winter came. 95 00:03:50,118 --> 00:03:54,321 In the Pilgrims' darkest hour, when all was lost... 96 00:03:54,389 --> 00:03:56,456 along came Squanto. 97 00:03:58,859 --> 00:04:01,795 The following autumn, the Pilgrims invited the Indians 98 00:04:01,863 --> 00:04:04,698 to a feast to thank them for all their kindness. 99 00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:07,167 The feast was the perfect opportunity for the Pilgrims 100 00:04:07,235 --> 00:04:09,803 to try out their new exploding corn. 101 00:04:14,942 --> 00:04:18,061 Our forefathers took their land... 102 00:04:18,146 --> 00:04:20,814 and it was good. 103 00:04:22,950 --> 00:04:24,851 And now how about a Champagne toast? 104 00:04:24,919 --> 00:04:26,653 To the Smiths. 105 00:04:26,721 --> 00:04:29,189 They gave me their old curtains. 106 00:04:32,026 --> 00:04:34,261 I can't wait to see the look on my brother's face 107 00:04:34,328 --> 00:04:36,763 when he sees these Manolo Blahniks I got for the turkey. 108 00:04:36,831 --> 00:04:41,802 Oh, Stan, our first Thanksgiving since Hayley ran off with Jeff. 109 00:04:41,869 --> 00:04:45,172 It just won't be the same without our little girl. 110 00:04:45,239 --> 00:04:48,041 There is still a week. 111 00:04:48,109 --> 00:04:49,643 Maybe they'll come back. 112 00:04:49,710 --> 00:04:51,678 She's not coming back, Francine. 113 00:04:51,746 --> 00:04:54,181 In fact, she's dead to me for marrying that loser. 114 00:04:54,248 --> 00:04:55,182 Stan. 115 00:04:59,020 --> 00:05:01,354 Yep, yep, we got some HVAC running through here. 116 00:05:01,422 --> 00:05:02,722 Steve, what are you doing?! 117 00:05:02,790 --> 00:05:04,357 Expanding my room. 118 00:05:04,425 --> 00:05:07,194 I'm an only child now, so I get anything I want. 119 00:05:07,261 --> 00:05:10,230 You have to do whatever I say because I'm all you got. 120 00:05:10,298 --> 00:05:11,465 And I want 121 00:05:11,532 --> 00:05:13,033 a bigger room! 122 00:05:13,101 --> 00:05:14,568 I want a closet like Big made 123 00:05:14,635 --> 00:05:16,336 for Carrie in Sex and the City. 124 00:05:16,404 --> 00:05:17,871 I want a Labradoodle 125 00:05:17,939 --> 00:05:20,841 and a nice camera to take pictures of us! 126 00:05:20,908 --> 00:05:22,876 Steven, you are out of control, mister. 127 00:05:22,944 --> 00:05:24,411 You'd better not behave this way 128 00:05:24,479 --> 00:05:25,846 when Rusty and his family get here. 129 00:05:25,913 --> 00:05:27,647 If anyone has the right to complain, it's them. 130 00:05:27,715 --> 00:05:28,815 They don't have squat. 131 00:05:28,883 --> 00:05:31,051 You know what? For Thanksgiving this year, 132 00:05:31,119 --> 00:05:32,686 we're not going to have them come here. 133 00:05:32,753 --> 00:05:35,422 We're going to their gross tepee in Crap-hole, Arizona. 134 00:05:35,490 --> 00:05:37,023 Then you'll see how good you've got it. 135 00:05:37,091 --> 00:05:38,258 What?! 136 00:05:38,326 --> 00:05:39,392 You heard me, and then we're going 137 00:05:39,460 --> 00:05:40,694 to Four Corners, where you'll get 138 00:05:40,761 --> 00:05:42,596 to see me break-dance in four states at once! 139 00:05:42,663 --> 00:05:44,531 Ahh, man! 140 00:05:47,668 --> 00:05:50,470 We're going to spend a whole week here? 141 00:05:50,538 --> 00:05:54,875 Aah, I didn't bring enough batteries for all my stuff. 142 00:05:54,942 --> 00:05:55,876 Rusty. 143 00:05:55,943 --> 00:05:57,144 Sorry about the elk. 144 00:05:57,211 --> 00:05:59,045 I found him on the side of the road. 145 00:05:59,113 --> 00:06:01,047 You Indians really don't waste a thing, do you? 146 00:06:01,115 --> 00:06:04,050 Except for time reading the fine print on treaties. 147 00:06:05,219 --> 00:06:07,420 Hop in, guys. 148 00:06:07,488 --> 00:06:08,588 I call antlers up the butt. 149 00:06:08,656 --> 00:06:10,156 Mine, called it. 150 00:06:14,328 --> 00:06:16,263 You... live here? 151 00:06:16,330 --> 00:06:17,397 I do. 152 00:06:17,465 --> 00:06:19,432 This is what Steve needs to see. 153 00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:21,501 Come on, let's get settled. 154 00:06:22,637 --> 00:06:24,070 Stan, where are you going? 155 00:06:24,138 --> 00:06:26,573 That is the pump house for the fountains and pools. 156 00:06:26,641 --> 00:06:28,175 Fountains and pools? 157 00:06:28,242 --> 00:06:29,609 Well, so, then, where do you live? 158 00:06:29,677 --> 00:06:30,877 Up there. 159 00:06:34,582 --> 00:06:36,349 That's your house? 160 00:06:36,417 --> 00:06:38,585 Well, actually, it is a replica 161 00:06:38,653 --> 00:06:40,420 of Augustus Caesar's summer house 162 00:06:40,488 --> 00:06:42,355 built into the cliffs of Cyprus. 163 00:06:42,423 --> 00:06:45,625 But yes, that is the long way of saying yes. 164 00:06:45,693 --> 00:06:48,695 So... 165 00:06:48,763 --> 00:06:51,498 we're the poor family. 166 00:06:51,566 --> 00:06:55,035 Whoa, somebody just got cuter. 167 00:06:59,611 --> 00:07:01,412 Some tepee you got here, Russ. 168 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,497 The home was a labor of love. 169 00:07:03,582 --> 00:07:05,116 We built it into the mountainside 170 00:07:05,183 --> 00:07:06,350 so as to not obstruct 171 00:07:06,418 --> 00:07:09,153 the natural order of the landscape. 172 00:07:24,770 --> 00:07:27,571 I bragged about our four burners. 173 00:07:27,639 --> 00:07:29,340 How many burners do you have? 174 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:30,374 I never counted. 175 00:07:30,442 --> 00:07:33,844 Hmm... 86? 176 00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:37,014 Whoo, that's a lot of burners! 177 00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:39,049 Glenn, I think Steve might enjoy 178 00:07:39,117 --> 00:07:41,986 to see your gaming space. 179 00:07:42,053 --> 00:07:44,455 This place is crazy. 180 00:07:48,193 --> 00:07:52,163 Do we really have to wear these to play video games? 181 00:07:52,230 --> 00:07:53,330 It's amazing how this skintight suit 182 00:07:53,398 --> 00:07:54,598 doesn't show a boner 183 00:07:54,666 --> 00:07:57,401 even though I'm certain we both have one, right? 184 00:08:01,206 --> 00:08:04,508 I just want you to know I'm having a wonderful time. 185 00:08:07,712 --> 00:08:09,547 Power on! 186 00:08:15,587 --> 00:08:16,520 Where are the remotes?! 187 00:08:16,588 --> 00:08:18,556 We are the remotes! 188 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,865 My whole body's a joystick! 189 00:08:40,846 --> 00:08:44,248 This bar has absolutely everything. 190 00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:48,419 Oh, my God, Absolute Everything. 191 00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:49,553 That bathroom is amazing. 192 00:08:49,621 --> 00:08:51,155 A gold toilet? 193 00:08:51,223 --> 00:08:52,790 And I can't believe you have a servant 194 00:08:52,858 --> 00:08:53,991 just to wipe your butt. 195 00:08:54,059 --> 00:08:55,693 Um, I don't. 196 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,761 Oh, explains the attitude 197 00:08:57,829 --> 00:09:00,898 and why he did such a slapdash job. 198 00:09:00,966 --> 00:09:04,401 Rusty, I, I always thought you were poor. 199 00:09:04,469 --> 00:09:05,936 I-I actually brought Steve here 200 00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,805 to try to make him appreciate what he has. 201 00:09:09,207 --> 00:09:11,375 That is truly funny 202 00:09:11,443 --> 00:09:13,510 because I have been bringing my family to your house 203 00:09:13,578 --> 00:09:14,812 every Thanksgiving for the same reason. 204 00:09:29,802 --> 00:09:31,657 How did you get so rich? 205 00:09:31,778 --> 00:09:33,812 It is the land. 206 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:37,516 I pull $18 million of copper 207 00:09:37,584 --> 00:09:40,519 out of the ground every year! 208 00:09:40,587 --> 00:09:43,389 This land, the land you got from Grandpa? 209 00:09:43,456 --> 00:09:45,991 Wer-Weren't we supposed to share this land? 210 00:09:46,059 --> 00:09:49,028 You two ... are my only grandchildren. 211 00:09:49,095 --> 00:09:52,698 All I got to my ... name is $20,000 212 00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:56,335 and a piece of ... land your sissy great grandpappy 213 00:09:56,403 --> 00:10:00,072 won in a game of kickball against some ... 214 00:10:13,887 --> 00:10:18,090 So you two ... decide who gets what: 215 00:10:18,158 --> 00:10:21,093 the sweet 20 grand 216 00:10:21,161 --> 00:10:23,329 or the crap land. 217 00:10:23,396 --> 00:10:25,064 Rusty, we both clearly want the money, 218 00:10:25,131 --> 00:10:26,532 so here's what we'll do. 219 00:10:26,599 --> 00:10:28,300 I'll hold a number behind my back. 220 00:10:28,368 --> 00:10:30,436 If you choose correctly, then you can take the money. 221 00:10:30,503 --> 00:10:31,737 Okay. 222 00:10:31,805 --> 00:10:32,738 Two. 223 00:10:32,806 --> 00:10:33,739 Nope, 11. 224 00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:34,840 I get the money. 225 00:10:35,909 --> 00:10:37,409 Peace, I'm out of here. 226 00:10:37,477 --> 00:10:40,546 Yo, can I get two Jell-Os for me and my gramps? 227 00:10:40,613 --> 00:10:42,181 You tricked me! 228 00:10:42,248 --> 00:10:44,283 Stan, you inherited $20,000. 229 00:10:44,351 --> 00:10:45,918 What did you do with it? 230 00:10:45,985 --> 00:10:47,419 I lost it. 231 00:10:47,487 --> 00:10:50,122 Not in stocks and bonds, but in the old-fashioned way-- 232 00:10:50,190 --> 00:10:51,757 left it on the bus. 233 00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:54,193 Look, the point is-- things clearly didn't work out fairly. 234 00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:55,527 We should share this land. 235 00:10:55,595 --> 00:10:56,862 Stan, I am sorry 236 00:10:56,930 --> 00:10:59,131 about the way things worked out, but I don't... 237 00:10:59,199 --> 00:11:00,699 - You can do my wife. - What? 238 00:11:00,767 --> 00:11:01,900 Think about it. 239 00:11:01,968 --> 00:11:03,268 White Francine. 240 00:11:03,336 --> 00:11:04,737 No limits. 241 00:11:04,804 --> 00:11:06,805 Stan, this land was given to me 242 00:11:06,873 --> 00:11:08,907 fair and square by our grandfather. 243 00:11:08,975 --> 00:11:10,075 You mean my grandfather! 244 00:11:10,143 --> 00:11:11,210 You shouldn't even exist! 245 00:11:11,261 --> 00:11:12,678 Like male nipples. 246 00:11:12,746 --> 00:11:14,646 They're worthless. They're driving me crazy. 247 00:11:14,714 --> 00:11:17,383 Every time I look at 'em, I feel like a lady. 248 00:11:17,450 --> 00:11:19,385 Come on, Uncle Kappy. 249 00:11:19,436 --> 00:11:21,053 It's time to go. No! 250 00:11:21,121 --> 00:11:23,455 It's Sammy Hagar's Jagermeister-- 251 00:11:23,523 --> 00:11:25,391 Hagarmeister! 252 00:11:25,458 --> 00:11:28,794 Yeah, baby! 253 00:11:35,568 --> 00:11:37,336 This house blows. 254 00:11:37,404 --> 00:11:39,638 I shouldn't have to live like a homeless person. 255 00:11:39,706 --> 00:11:41,340 What about me? 256 00:11:41,408 --> 00:11:43,609 I only have four burners. 257 00:11:43,676 --> 00:11:45,677 What if I want to cook bacon 258 00:11:45,745 --> 00:11:49,281 and an egg and a hash brown and... 259 00:11:49,349 --> 00:11:51,817 a pancake and a chicken? 260 00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:54,653 I just realized that I've always hated living here. 261 00:11:54,721 --> 00:11:57,156 I can't believe my ears. 262 00:11:57,223 --> 00:11:59,224 Because every word 263 00:11:59,292 --> 00:12:02,394 that you guys just said is completely true. 264 00:12:02,462 --> 00:12:04,329 This place sucks. 265 00:12:04,397 --> 00:12:05,998 What are you guys talking about? 266 00:12:06,065 --> 00:12:08,033 Hey, it's me, Klaus. 267 00:12:09,969 --> 00:12:11,670 Rusty's rich, Klaus. 268 00:12:11,738 --> 00:12:13,288 Okay? 269 00:12:13,356 --> 00:12:14,740 Now you know. 270 00:12:14,808 --> 00:12:16,375 Oh. 271 00:12:16,443 --> 00:12:18,710 Well, Stan, you should be happy for your brother. 272 00:12:18,778 --> 00:12:20,646 So what if he's rich? 273 00:12:20,713 --> 00:12:22,714 You all still have so much. 274 00:12:22,782 --> 00:12:24,116 Look at me. 275 00:12:24,184 --> 00:12:26,852 I lost everything, even my big ... 276 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,688 But I am still thankful for what I do have. 277 00:12:29,756 --> 00:12:31,790 Like the sunshine and music 278 00:12:31,858 --> 00:12:35,327 and... and all of you to enjoy life with. 279 00:12:35,395 --> 00:12:36,829 This is crap. 280 00:12:36,896 --> 00:12:37,996 Tomorrow's Thanksgiving, 281 00:12:38,064 --> 00:12:40,165 and we have nothing to be thankful for! 282 00:12:40,233 --> 00:12:42,167 Grandpa wanted me to have that land, 283 00:12:42,235 --> 00:12:45,237 but Rusty slid in and took it right out from under me. 284 00:12:45,305 --> 00:12:46,505 Do you really feel 285 00:12:46,573 --> 00:12:48,841 like all of Rusty's stuff should be yours, Stan? 286 00:12:48,908 --> 00:12:50,375 Yes, I do. 287 00:12:50,443 --> 00:12:52,945 In my heart, I know it should all be mine. 288 00:12:53,012 --> 00:12:54,446 Then you must take it. 289 00:12:54,514 --> 00:12:56,715 Yeah. Do what the pilgrims did. 290 00:12:56,783 --> 00:12:58,083 Just-Just take it. 291 00:12:58,151 --> 00:13:00,085 And most importantly, take it all. 292 00:13:00,153 --> 00:13:03,222 Take it all like a big girl. 293 00:13:03,289 --> 00:13:05,591 Stan nods, inspired. 294 00:13:08,094 --> 00:13:09,862 ♪ ♪ 295 00:13:33,336 --> 00:13:35,371 Text from my boy Rog. 296 00:13:35,439 --> 00:13:37,306 It better not be a butt. 297 00:13:37,374 --> 00:13:39,308 Uh-oh. There's an attachment. 298 00:13:39,376 --> 00:13:41,177 It's downloading. 299 00:13:41,244 --> 00:13:42,645 Please don't be a butt. 300 00:13:42,712 --> 00:13:43,979 Please, please, please... 301 00:13:44,047 --> 00:13:45,281 Oh, it's a butt! 302 00:13:45,348 --> 00:13:47,249 Come on now! Whose butt is that? 303 00:13:47,317 --> 00:13:48,451 That's a white-ass butt! 304 00:13:48,518 --> 00:13:49,718 Let me see. 305 00:13:54,724 --> 00:13:56,358 What's going on? 306 00:13:56,426 --> 00:13:58,194 Why are we at Uncle Stan's house? 307 00:13:58,261 --> 00:14:00,096 That son of a bitch. 308 00:14:00,163 --> 00:14:02,932 Trying to pull the old house switcheroony on us. 309 00:14:05,569 --> 00:14:07,303 Would anyone like me 310 00:14:07,370 --> 00:14:09,105 to pour more Dom on the floor? 311 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,775 This is the best Thanksgiving ever. 312 00:14:12,843 --> 00:14:14,143 Who could that be? 313 00:14:14,211 --> 00:14:16,679 Rusty! 314 00:14:16,746 --> 00:14:19,348 Get the hell out of my house. 315 00:14:19,416 --> 00:14:20,282 They remember. 316 00:14:22,119 --> 00:14:23,586 No. You don't understand. 317 00:14:23,653 --> 00:14:24,787 It should all be mine. 318 00:14:24,855 --> 00:14:25,955 The floor is heated. 319 00:14:26,022 --> 00:14:27,089 Oh, come on. 320 00:14:30,677 --> 00:14:34,163 If you come back here, I will kill you! 321 00:14:37,968 --> 00:14:39,502 That should all be mine! 322 00:14:39,569 --> 00:14:41,303 I deserve it. I want it all! 323 00:14:41,371 --> 00:14:43,205 It should be mine, mine, mine! 324 00:14:51,148 --> 00:14:52,281 Is everyone okay? 325 00:14:52,348 --> 00:14:53,716 Yeah, yeah, I think so. 326 00:14:53,783 --> 00:14:55,384 Thank God. It's a miracle. 327 00:14:55,452 --> 00:14:56,652 I'll go get help. 328 00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:09,634 This helicopter crash was the best thing 329 00:15:09,702 --> 00:15:10,743 that could have happened to us. 330 00:15:10,996 --> 00:15:13,798 Now we can go back to Rusty's and get what we deserve. 331 00:15:13,865 --> 00:15:15,466 But Stan, he said he'd kill you. 332 00:15:15,534 --> 00:15:17,134 If Native Americans could kill a white man, 333 00:15:17,202 --> 00:15:18,569 they would have done it already. 334 00:15:18,637 --> 00:15:19,970 Well... okay. 335 00:15:20,038 --> 00:15:22,039 Which way is it? 336 00:15:22,107 --> 00:15:25,292 We were flying south, so the house should be due north. 337 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,344 I have a compass. Follow me. 338 00:15:27,412 --> 00:15:28,579 This looks just like 339 00:15:28,647 --> 00:15:30,548 where they shot that Spice Girls video. 340 00:15:30,615 --> 00:15:31,549 ♪ Give it up, girl ♪ 341 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,217 ♪ You get it, got it ♪ 342 00:15:33,285 --> 00:15:35,052 ♪ You can do it if you really want it! ♪ 343 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:36,987 That's-that's not really one of their songs, 344 00:15:37,055 --> 00:15:38,856 but it's-it's crappy like that. 345 00:15:40,459 --> 00:15:41,776 Roger, I'm pretty sure 346 00:15:41,860 --> 00:15:43,144 this is the second time 347 00:15:43,228 --> 00:15:44,361 we passed this cactus 348 00:15:44,429 --> 00:15:45,930 that looks like Queen Latifah. 349 00:15:45,997 --> 00:15:47,364 I know where I'm going. 350 00:15:47,432 --> 00:15:49,200 I just need to get the last ball in 351 00:15:49,267 --> 00:15:51,402 to make this thing really work. 352 00:15:51,470 --> 00:15:53,537 What...? Let me see that. 353 00:15:55,140 --> 00:15:56,774 Roger, this isn't a compass. 354 00:15:56,842 --> 00:15:58,676 It's a stupid game for fun. 355 00:15:58,743 --> 00:16:00,711 It is? Who's doing that for fun? 356 00:16:00,779 --> 00:16:02,746 We're lost! 357 00:16:02,814 --> 00:16:04,298 Oh, my God, it didn't break. 358 00:16:04,382 --> 00:16:06,650 Oh, my God, you got all the balls in. 359 00:16:06,718 --> 00:16:08,586 Oh, my God, it isn't fun! 360 00:16:14,292 --> 00:16:15,693 Wonder who this guy was. 361 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,728 Luckily, I've got some forensic clay on me. 362 00:16:17,796 --> 00:16:19,129 Let's see who died. 363 00:16:24,669 --> 00:16:26,437 A balanced breakfast! 364 00:16:28,340 --> 00:16:30,174 Oh, no. They smelled the fake breakfast! 365 00:16:30,242 --> 00:16:31,742 They're gonna kill us! 366 00:16:31,810 --> 00:16:32,910 Stan! 367 00:16:35,647 --> 00:16:36,747 Oh, my God. 368 00:16:36,815 --> 00:16:38,015 I know this wolf. 369 00:16:38,083 --> 00:16:39,550 I know this wolf! 370 00:16:39,618 --> 00:16:42,286 It's a miracle-- a Thanksgiving miracle! 371 00:16:42,354 --> 00:16:44,355 My wolf came to save us! 372 00:16:44,422 --> 00:16:46,190 ♪ ♪ 373 00:17:09,981 --> 00:17:11,181 Aah! It's not her! 374 00:17:11,249 --> 00:17:12,616 It's not Felicity. 375 00:17:12,684 --> 00:17:13,817 Different wolf. 376 00:17:18,189 --> 00:17:20,857 Thank God those wolves gave up. 377 00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:23,093 Nature's quitters. 378 00:17:24,329 --> 00:17:25,763 Too hot. 379 00:17:25,830 --> 00:17:26,931 Don't worry. 380 00:17:26,998 --> 00:17:29,600 I know what to do. 381 00:17:29,668 --> 00:17:30,901 What are you doing? 382 00:17:30,969 --> 00:17:33,604 I saw this on Man vs. Wild. 383 00:17:38,476 --> 00:17:40,511 These pee hats will keep us cool. 384 00:17:43,615 --> 00:17:46,016 It-It got so cold. 385 00:17:46,067 --> 00:17:48,052 This thing's stuck to my head. 386 00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:49,420 It froze! 387 00:17:49,487 --> 00:17:51,221 It's freezing my brain! 388 00:17:51,273 --> 00:17:53,290 We have to huddle together for warmth. Come. 389 00:17:57,162 --> 00:17:59,730 Francine, touch me. 390 00:17:59,798 --> 00:18:01,131 What? Touch me. 391 00:18:01,199 --> 00:18:03,534 It'll provide us with all the warmth we need. 392 00:18:03,602 --> 00:18:05,336 I saw it on Man vs. Wild. 393 00:18:06,471 --> 00:18:07,871 That feels amazing. 394 00:18:07,939 --> 00:18:09,640 I'm not touching you. 395 00:18:09,708 --> 00:18:11,575 I am. 396 00:18:11,643 --> 00:18:13,911 That feels amazing. 397 00:18:21,886 --> 00:18:25,255 Oh, I'm gonna make it! 398 00:18:25,323 --> 00:18:27,625 Moo-hoo! 399 00:18:27,692 --> 00:18:29,927 Uh-oh. Oh, no. 400 00:18:34,866 --> 00:18:37,568 We are definitely going to die. 401 00:18:37,619 --> 00:18:38,936 I'm too young to die. 402 00:18:39,004 --> 00:18:40,204 No, you're not. 403 00:18:40,271 --> 00:18:41,538 Just give up, son. 404 00:18:41,606 --> 00:18:43,907 You'll stay young forever. 405 00:18:48,330 --> 00:18:50,981 ♪ ♪ 406 00:18:52,717 --> 00:18:53,834 Squanto? 407 00:18:53,918 --> 00:18:57,287 It's the Thanksgiving miracle. 408 00:18:57,339 --> 00:18:58,689 HAYLEY'S VOICE: Dad? 409 00:19:02,777 --> 00:19:04,728 Hayley? Hey, Mr. S. 410 00:19:04,796 --> 00:19:06,296 Sorry I stole your money. 411 00:19:06,364 --> 00:19:09,633 If it makes you feel any better, I spent it all having fun. 412 00:19:09,701 --> 00:19:11,502 You look terrible. 413 00:19:11,569 --> 00:19:14,104 Hayley, how did you find us? 414 00:19:14,155 --> 00:19:15,305 It was totally random. 415 00:19:15,373 --> 00:19:16,857 After we ran out of money, 416 00:19:16,925 --> 00:19:18,325 Jeff suggested that we prostitute ourselves. 417 00:19:18,393 --> 00:19:19,677 At first, Jeff was saying 418 00:19:19,744 --> 00:19:21,845 he was only going to do woman, but then... 419 00:19:23,348 --> 00:19:24,615 That wasn't working out. 420 00:19:24,683 --> 00:19:26,650 So, long story short, Jeff's on butt rest, 421 00:19:26,718 --> 00:19:28,152 and we moved to the desert. 422 00:19:28,219 --> 00:19:30,020 Please pass the turkey jerky. 423 00:19:31,790 --> 00:19:33,223 I'd like to make a toast. 424 00:19:33,291 --> 00:19:34,525 Yes, a toast. 425 00:19:34,592 --> 00:19:36,193 To Jeff's fruit punch 426 00:19:36,261 --> 00:19:38,062 that I added drain cleaner to. 427 00:19:38,129 --> 00:19:39,930 And to Lionel Richie 428 00:19:39,998 --> 00:19:42,533 who put a blind woman in his video. 429 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,368 This may not be the best Thanksgiving dinner 430 00:19:44,436 --> 00:19:45,936 we've ever had. 431 00:19:46,004 --> 00:19:47,104 Worst. 432 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,774 But I'm so happy to be here. 433 00:19:50,842 --> 00:19:52,409 Through losing everything, 434 00:19:52,477 --> 00:19:54,878 I realized how much I took for granted. 435 00:19:54,946 --> 00:19:57,848 Including my daughter, who I was ready to disown. 436 00:19:57,916 --> 00:20:00,784 Hayley, you are officially undead to me. 437 00:20:00,852 --> 00:20:03,387 I want you and Jeff to move in with us. 438 00:20:03,455 --> 00:20:04,855 Stan? 439 00:20:04,923 --> 00:20:06,590 Rusty, you're here. 440 00:20:06,658 --> 00:20:08,959 I owe you a huge apology. 441 00:20:09,027 --> 00:20:10,427 We're brothers and... 442 00:20:10,495 --> 00:20:12,830 I told you to get off my land. 443 00:20:12,897 --> 00:20:14,565 What? This is still your land?! 444 00:20:14,632 --> 00:20:15,966 How much land did you get? 445 00:20:16,034 --> 00:20:18,836 Sowo-wowo-wowo-wowo much. 446 00:20:18,903 --> 00:20:20,537 Hey guys, I found you. 447 00:20:21,940 --> 00:20:24,207 Oh, my God! Go! Go! Go! 448 00:20:29,714 --> 00:20:31,081 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 449 00:20:31,149 --> 00:20:33,050 L-Let me get this straight. 450 00:20:33,118 --> 00:20:35,552 You have an oven just for toast? 451 00:20:35,620 --> 00:20:36,854 That's right, Jeff. 452 00:20:36,921 --> 00:20:39,022 And look at these paper towels I bought. 453 00:20:39,090 --> 00:20:40,257 Look how thick. 454 00:20:40,325 --> 00:20:41,592 You can keep that. 455 00:20:41,659 --> 00:20:45,095 Gee, Mr. S., you're the richest guy I know. 456 00:20:45,163 --> 00:20:47,331 And you're the poorest guy I know, Jeff. 457 00:20:47,398 --> 00:20:51,268 And that's why you can stay here as long as you want. 458 00:21:00,845 --> 00:21:05,716 Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. 459 00:21:08,269 --> 00:21:11,753 == Sync, corrected by elderman == == for www.addic7ed.com ==