1 00:00:03,943 --> 00:00:06,778 ♪ Good morning, USA! ♪ 2 00:00:06,846 --> 00:00:10,582 ♪ I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 3 00:00:10,650 --> 00:00:13,685 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 4 00:00:13,753 --> 00:00:17,789 ♪ And he's shining a salute to the American race ♪ 5 00:00:19,892 --> 00:00:23,361 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 6 00:00:23,429 --> 00:00:25,230 ♪ Good... ♪ ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 7 00:00:25,298 --> 00:00:26,931 Aah! 8 00:00:26,999 --> 00:00:29,669 American Dad 06x02 Son of Stan Original Air Date on October 10, 2010 9 00:00:29,679 --> 00:00:31,079 == sync, corrected by elderman == 10 00:00:31,137 --> 00:00:32,938 Previously on American Dad: 11 00:00:32,963 --> 00:00:34,396 "Dear Mom and Dad, 12 00:00:34,464 --> 00:00:36,899 "I realized I'm still in love with Jeff Fischer, 13 00:00:36,967 --> 00:00:39,635 which is why we've decided to elope." 14 00:00:39,703 --> 00:00:42,505 I'm offering $50,000 15 00:00:42,572 --> 00:00:45,541 to anyone who can stop the wedding. 16 00:00:45,609 --> 00:00:47,476 Let's go get that reward money, people! 17 00:00:47,544 --> 00:00:48,711 ALL Yeah! 18 00:00:48,779 --> 00:00:49,845 All right! 19 00:00:53,884 --> 00:00:55,317 KLAUS Ouch! 20 00:00:55,385 --> 00:00:57,319 After a few twists and turns, 21 00:00:57,387 --> 00:01:00,756 Jeff and Hayley outsmarted Stan and eloped anyways... 22 00:01:00,824 --> 00:01:03,592 with Stan's 50 K. 23 00:01:03,660 --> 00:01:06,529 Well, you're all up to speed, so just sit back, 24 00:01:06,596 --> 00:01:09,999 put down your GED paperwork and enjoy the show, stupid. 25 00:01:13,203 --> 00:01:17,473 We're here to honor those who died in the tragic bus crash, 26 00:01:17,541 --> 00:01:20,376 members of our community we could never possibly forget, 27 00:01:20,443 --> 00:01:23,746 like Bobby the Bullet, Koko, 28 00:01:23,814 --> 00:01:26,015 Brett, and of course, 29 00:01:26,082 --> 00:01:27,750 Clown with Glasses. 30 00:01:29,753 --> 00:01:31,520 Clown with Glasses! 31 00:01:33,056 --> 00:01:34,657 You lost someone, too? 32 00:01:34,724 --> 00:01:36,158 My daughter. 33 00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:38,160 Yeah, she ran off and got married 34 00:01:38,228 --> 00:01:40,563 and hasn't called us in six weeks. 35 00:01:40,630 --> 00:01:43,232 At least you know where your loved one is. 36 00:01:49,940 --> 00:01:51,974 Duper? I thought you died in the bus crash. 37 00:01:52,042 --> 00:01:53,776 I did, but it turns out 38 00:01:53,844 --> 00:01:56,011 the CIA'S been working on this new cloning thing, 39 00:01:56,079 --> 00:01:57,313 and here I am! 40 00:01:57,380 --> 00:01:59,081 You're a... a clone? 41 00:01:59,149 --> 00:02:02,384 Yup, exactly the same in every way. 42 00:02:02,452 --> 00:02:05,721 Except this guy was married to some ugly bitch. 43 00:02:07,023 --> 00:02:08,424 Maybe it's Hayley. Hayley? 44 00:02:08,491 --> 00:02:10,526 No, it's Roger. Roger, can I call you back? 45 00:02:10,594 --> 00:02:12,761 You don't have to. I'm right next to you. 46 00:02:12,829 --> 00:02:14,964 You didn't see me setting all this stuff up? 47 00:02:15,031 --> 00:02:16,532 Now we're in the same scene. 48 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,100 Thanks, Don. I'm done with this. 49 00:02:19,769 --> 00:02:21,637 Still broken up about Hayley, huh? 50 00:02:21,705 --> 00:02:23,873 Well, don't you worry. I'm gonna find her. 51 00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:25,341 And bring her back to us? 52 00:02:25,408 --> 00:02:26,609 No, I'm gonna find her 53 00:02:26,676 --> 00:02:28,744 and steal that $50,000 she took from you. 54 00:02:28,812 --> 00:02:31,647 And I promise you, I'm gonna spend it all on myself 55 00:02:31,715 --> 00:02:33,716 at Burt Longhorn's Western Wear Depot. 56 00:02:33,783 --> 00:02:36,151 Look at me. Stan? Stan, look at me. 57 00:02:36,219 --> 00:02:38,787 That's a promise. 58 00:02:40,390 --> 00:02:41,891 Observation deck, please. 59 00:02:47,864 --> 00:02:49,598 Honey, what are you doing in here? 60 00:02:49,666 --> 00:02:52,234 I thought we agreed not to go in this room. 61 00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:54,570 Oh, Stan, I just miss Hayley so much. 62 00:02:54,638 --> 00:02:57,606 Thought I'd come in and tidy up. 63 00:02:57,674 --> 00:03:00,342 Throw away her expired condoms. 64 00:03:00,410 --> 00:03:01,677 They're unlubed. 65 00:03:01,745 --> 00:03:03,412 She's goodo go. 66 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,714 Just like her mother. 67 00:03:05,782 --> 00:03:08,918 Ugh! We raised a junior college dropout 68 00:03:08,985 --> 00:03:11,987 who stole 50 grand from us and eloped with a stoner hippie. 69 00:03:12,055 --> 00:03:13,489 Face it, Slick. 70 00:03:13,556 --> 00:03:16,659 We've failed as parents, even by Appalachian standards. 71 00:03:16,726 --> 00:03:18,360 Hi, I'm back from school. 72 00:03:18,428 --> 00:03:20,462 I'm gonna watch TV and try to forget 73 00:03:20,530 --> 00:03:22,898 about the wedgie I suffered at lunch today. 74 00:03:22,966 --> 00:03:24,466 Aah, my butt. 75 00:03:24,534 --> 00:03:26,769 No TV. You've got homework to do. 76 00:03:26,836 --> 00:03:28,971 Oh, Stan, he's been in class all day. 77 00:03:29,039 --> 00:03:30,839 Let him relax and unwind. 78 00:03:30,907 --> 00:03:32,274 You're too lenient, Francine. 79 00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:33,976 That's probably why Hayley left us. 80 00:03:34,044 --> 00:03:35,210 Excuse me! 81 00:03:35,278 --> 00:03:36,712 Homework now! 82 00:03:36,780 --> 00:03:39,515 If Hayley left because of anybody, it was you. 83 00:03:39,582 --> 00:03:42,318 You're too strict, and you drove her away. 84 00:03:42,385 --> 00:03:43,752 TV! Now! 85 00:03:43,820 --> 00:03:46,956 Whatever. I got to get a Popsicle on the old starfish. 86 00:03:50,193 --> 00:03:51,560 Listen to me. 87 00:03:51,628 --> 00:03:53,862 Children need structure and discipline. 88 00:03:53,930 --> 00:03:55,631 No. Kids needs space 89 00:03:55,699 --> 00:03:58,033 to make their own mistakes and learn from them. 90 00:03:58,101 --> 00:04:00,569 Well, there's only one way to settle this. 91 00:04:00,637 --> 00:04:03,772 First one across the finish line decides how we raise Steve. 92 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,674 Deal. 93 00:04:08,345 --> 00:04:11,413 ♪ ♪ 94 00:04:22,659 --> 00:04:24,593 I guess I was wrong about you, Robby. 95 00:04:24,661 --> 00:04:26,862 You do have what it takes to be radical. 96 00:04:26,930 --> 00:04:28,263 Thanks a lot, Trace. 97 00:04:28,331 --> 00:04:30,232 Sorry we bullied you when you moved here 98 00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:32,401 from the big city after your dad died. 99 00:04:32,469 --> 00:04:36,672 You can ride with us any time. 100 00:04:42,879 --> 00:04:45,047 Well, finally, it's our turn. 101 00:04:51,254 --> 00:04:54,590 Does this mean I won, or should I keep going? 102 00:04:54,657 --> 00:04:57,526 I... cannot... continue. 103 00:04:57,594 --> 00:05:00,562 Yes! We raise Steve my way! 104 00:05:00,630 --> 00:05:02,765 I'm from the big city! 105 00:05:08,738 --> 00:05:12,307 You're not really going after the $50,000, are you? 106 00:05:12,375 --> 00:05:14,276 You have no idea where Hayley is. 107 00:05:14,344 --> 00:05:15,511 Patience, fish. 108 00:05:15,578 --> 00:05:17,613 To find a stoned loser, 109 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:19,782 I must become a stoned loser. 110 00:05:19,849 --> 00:05:21,683 Watch and learn. 111 00:05:44,841 --> 00:05:46,675 Not sure this stuff is working. 112 00:05:46,743 --> 00:05:47,910 I don't feel any... 113 00:05:47,977 --> 00:05:50,546 Aah...! 114 00:06:08,264 --> 00:06:09,731 Aah! Roger? 115 00:06:09,799 --> 00:06:11,967 What the hell are you doing in Thailand? 116 00:06:12,035 --> 00:06:13,602 Oh, my God! It worked! 117 00:06:13,670 --> 00:06:15,604 Thailand, huh? 118 00:06:15,672 --> 00:06:18,507 I'd like three 12-year-old boys, no MSG. 119 00:06:20,243 --> 00:06:21,643 Stand up straight! 120 00:06:21,711 --> 00:06:23,412 Wipe your glasses! Tuck in your shirt! 121 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,682 Stan, you agreed Steve would be raised my way! 122 00:06:26,749 --> 00:06:28,851 You're not allowed to be strict with him! 123 00:06:28,918 --> 00:06:30,652 I'm not being strict with Steve. 124 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:31,920 Steve's out there. 125 00:06:33,156 --> 00:06:34,656 Wha...? 126 00:06:34,724 --> 00:06:37,793 You won the race, so you can raise Steve however you like. 127 00:06:37,861 --> 00:06:40,496 This is a clone I had made at the CIA 128 00:06:40,563 --> 00:06:42,698 for me to raise how I like. 129 00:06:42,765 --> 00:06:44,166 I'm calling him Steve-arino. 130 00:06:44,234 --> 00:06:45,601 Hi, Mom. 131 00:06:45,668 --> 00:06:47,169 Pretty great, huh? 132 00:06:47,237 --> 00:06:50,172 I also cloned world-famous comedian John Leguizamo. 133 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:51,740 'Zamo, do an impression. 134 00:06:51,808 --> 00:06:54,576 Okay, uh, this is my cousin Keisha from the block. 135 00:06:54,644 --> 00:06:57,379 Hey, I'm Keisha from the block. 136 00:06:57,447 --> 00:06:58,814 I don't know, John. 137 00:06:58,882 --> 00:07:00,916 I don't know anyone like that. 138 00:07:05,470 --> 00:07:07,471 Stan, how could you clone Steve?! 139 00:07:07,539 --> 00:07:08,773 I was in a pickle. 140 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:11,242 You won the right to raise Steve your way. 141 00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:12,743 But my way is far superior. 142 00:07:12,811 --> 00:07:15,012 So this was your solution?! 143 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,582 What was I supposed to do, welch on a BMX race? 144 00:07:17,649 --> 00:07:18,749 Get the BMX people involved? 145 00:07:18,817 --> 00:07:19,884 The Counsel of 12? 146 00:07:19,952 --> 00:07:21,352 I'm not going before them again! 147 00:07:21,420 --> 00:07:23,487 Wow! I have a clone? 148 00:07:23,555 --> 00:07:25,056 We should buy matching capes 149 00:07:25,123 --> 00:07:26,924 and invent our own creepy language. 150 00:07:26,992 --> 00:07:28,960 And do jazz-tap routines! 151 00:07:31,096 --> 00:07:34,131 They're identical, right down to their memories and emotions. 152 00:07:34,199 --> 00:07:36,467 So from here on, how they turn out 153 00:07:36,535 --> 00:07:38,035 is totally based on their upbringing. 154 00:07:38,103 --> 00:07:39,870 Cabba lakti-mo? 155 00:07:39,938 --> 00:07:42,073 Sheb wawa, sheb wawa! 156 00:07:44,176 --> 00:07:46,210 Stan, this is insane! 157 00:07:46,278 --> 00:07:47,511 No, it's perfect. 158 00:07:47,579 --> 00:07:49,146 You can raise Steve your way, 159 00:07:49,214 --> 00:07:50,948 and I'll raise Steve-arino my way. 160 00:07:51,016 --> 00:07:52,783 We'll see which one turns out better, 161 00:07:52,851 --> 00:07:54,719 and the other one we'll just put down. 162 00:07:54,786 --> 00:07:55,419 What?! 163 00:07:56,588 --> 00:07:57,922 We'll, we'll figure it out. 164 00:07:57,990 --> 00:07:59,390 Boys, come over here. 165 00:07:59,458 --> 00:08:01,225 Steve-arino, I'll be parenting you 166 00:08:01,293 --> 00:08:02,526 exclusively from now on. 167 00:08:02,594 --> 00:08:04,195 There will be a lot of rules, 168 00:08:04,263 --> 00:08:05,663 homework and exercise. 169 00:08:05,731 --> 00:08:06,864 Aah! 170 00:08:06,932 --> 00:08:08,466 But trust me, in time, 171 00:08:08,533 --> 00:08:11,602 I'll mold you into a buff, athletic model student. 172 00:08:11,670 --> 00:08:13,537 Every boy will want to be you, 173 00:08:13,605 --> 00:08:15,473 every girl will want to be inside you. 174 00:08:15,540 --> 00:08:17,108 That sounds great! 175 00:08:17,175 --> 00:08:18,976 I'll just make a slight adjustment 176 00:08:19,044 --> 00:08:20,645 so we can tell you boys apart. 177 00:08:20,712 --> 00:08:22,113 What about me, Dad? 178 00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:23,781 Steve, your mother will be raising you, 179 00:08:23,849 --> 00:08:25,082 which, unfortunately, means 180 00:08:25,150 --> 00:08:26,651 that your life will suck worse 181 00:08:26,718 --> 00:08:28,486 than Nicolas Cage in Ghost Rider. 182 00:08:28,553 --> 00:08:30,521 All right, that's it! 183 00:08:30,589 --> 00:08:32,490 If you think you're so much better 184 00:08:32,557 --> 00:08:35,593 at parenting than me, we'll do your stupid plan. 185 00:08:35,661 --> 00:08:37,495 May the best Steve win! 186 00:08:37,562 --> 00:08:40,665 Wait. So I don't have to follow any of Dad's rules? 187 00:08:40,732 --> 00:08:42,533 That's right, honey. Yeah! 188 00:08:42,601 --> 00:08:44,335 I'm gonna go have a garden burger! 189 00:08:44,403 --> 00:08:46,671 Maybe it'll turn me gay, maybe it won't. 190 00:08:46,738 --> 00:08:49,874 I guess we'll just let fate decide. 191 00:08:53,011 --> 00:08:54,645 Beer for the newlyweds. 192 00:08:54,713 --> 00:08:56,080 Let's cut to the chase. 193 00:08:56,148 --> 00:08:58,916 I'm here to steal your 50 grand. What? 194 00:08:58,984 --> 00:09:01,118 Hand it over, or I will set in motion 195 00:09:01,186 --> 00:09:03,721 the most brilliant, elegant plan I've ever come up with. 196 00:09:03,789 --> 00:09:06,057 No! It's our money, and we're making it last. 197 00:09:06,124 --> 00:09:08,659 Yeah, we're gonna use it to start our new life, 198 00:09:08,727 --> 00:09:11,462 selling both realistic and unrealistic wolf masks. 199 00:09:12,831 --> 00:09:13,931 Very well, then. 200 00:09:13,999 --> 00:09:15,399 The plan it is. 201 00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:17,635 Myeeeah! 202 00:09:18,804 --> 00:09:21,272 Myeeeah! 203 00:09:21,340 --> 00:09:22,807 This is your elegant plan? 204 00:09:22,874 --> 00:09:25,009 You think I'm gonna give you the money 205 00:09:25,077 --> 00:09:27,011 to get you to stop making that noise? 206 00:09:27,079 --> 00:09:29,513 Myeeeah! 207 00:09:29,581 --> 00:09:30,815 Yes. I'm Myeeeah. 208 00:09:30,882 --> 00:09:33,017 Did you want to try paragliding? 209 00:09:35,821 --> 00:09:39,123 Ugh! I stayed up until 3:00 playing Night Manager, 210 00:09:39,191 --> 00:09:41,992 the most realistic retail-themed video game on the market. 211 00:09:42,060 --> 00:09:43,794 Hmm. Sounds productive. 212 00:09:43,862 --> 00:09:46,163 We went hiking at dawn this morning. 213 00:09:46,231 --> 00:09:47,998 There we are-- egg whites and soy toast 214 00:09:48,066 --> 00:09:49,700 for my little achiever. 215 00:09:49,768 --> 00:09:51,502 What do I get for breakfast? 216 00:09:51,570 --> 00:09:53,204 Anything you want, honey. 217 00:09:53,271 --> 00:09:54,739 Uh, okay. 218 00:09:54,806 --> 00:09:57,108 How about chocolate chip pancakes? 219 00:09:57,175 --> 00:09:59,377 And... wine? 220 00:09:59,444 --> 00:10:01,612 Chocolate chip pancakes and chardonnay. 221 00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:04,215 The Delta Burke breakfast it is. 222 00:10:05,450 --> 00:10:06,784 Put this on, Steve-arino. 223 00:10:06,852 --> 00:10:09,653 You start your first day of military school in an hour. 224 00:10:09,721 --> 00:10:11,155 Military school?! 225 00:10:11,223 --> 00:10:12,723 You want those dividends, don't you? 226 00:10:12,791 --> 00:10:13,891 The muscles? The brains? 227 00:10:13,959 --> 00:10:15,426 Then you have to trust me. 228 00:10:15,494 --> 00:10:16,594 I trust you, Dad. 229 00:10:16,661 --> 00:10:17,862 Attaboy. 230 00:10:22,768 --> 00:10:24,702 I think I'll take up swearing. 231 00:10:27,672 --> 00:10:31,342 And so it begins. 232 00:10:31,410 --> 00:10:34,078 ♪ ♪ 233 00:11:26,131 --> 00:11:28,432 Welcome home, Father! 234 00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:30,334 We won the big game against Saint John's, 235 00:11:30,402 --> 00:11:31,702 and I scored a touchdown! 236 00:11:31,770 --> 00:11:33,270 That's great, son! 237 00:11:33,338 --> 00:11:34,839 Isn't that great, Francine? 238 00:11:34,906 --> 00:11:36,474 Big deal! 239 00:11:38,410 --> 00:11:40,878 Like you're so great with your stupid trophy. 240 00:11:40,946 --> 00:11:42,146 I have a trophy, too. 241 00:11:42,214 --> 00:11:44,849 It's the Spanky Award. 242 00:11:46,218 --> 00:11:47,451 That's right. 243 00:11:47,519 --> 00:11:50,855 He got it for pulling it 11 times in one day. 244 00:11:50,922 --> 00:11:52,957 13 if you count ghost loads. 245 00:11:53,024 --> 00:11:55,392 Father, may I watch television with Steve? 246 00:11:55,460 --> 00:11:56,627 No can do, Son. 247 00:11:56,695 --> 00:11:58,262 You got an A-minus in Biology. 248 00:11:58,330 --> 00:12:01,265 You get that grade up, I'll let you watch a full hour 249 00:12:01,333 --> 00:12:04,101 of Fox News or City Council meetings on channel . 250 00:12:04,169 --> 00:12:06,403 Great! I'll go hit the books! 251 00:12:06,471 --> 00:12:08,172 Face it, Francine. 252 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:10,074 My parenting is superior. 253 00:12:10,141 --> 00:12:12,209 In three months, I've turned Steve-arino 254 00:12:12,277 --> 00:12:13,744 into an exceptional young man. 255 00:12:13,812 --> 00:12:15,713 Meanwhile, you've turned your Steve into... 256 00:12:18,483 --> 00:12:19,683 Oh, look at that. 257 00:12:19,751 --> 00:12:21,418 He's starting a nose-mining company. 258 00:12:21,486 --> 00:12:23,153 Steve will find his way. 259 00:12:23,221 --> 00:12:25,289 Shut... up... Mom! 260 00:12:25,357 --> 00:12:28,025 Get... me... chips! 261 00:12:31,029 --> 00:12:32,329 Oh, knocking off early. 262 00:12:32,397 --> 00:12:34,999 You can do that when you own your own business. 263 00:12:40,338 --> 00:12:42,406 Myeeeah! 264 00:12:42,474 --> 00:12:46,176 Myeeeah! Myeeeah! 265 00:12:46,244 --> 00:12:47,778 I can't take it anymore! 266 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:50,281 Get ahold of yourself! 267 00:12:50,348 --> 00:12:52,216 I told you I have a plan. 268 00:12:52,284 --> 00:12:53,551 Did you pack your stuff? 269 00:12:53,618 --> 00:12:56,554 Good. Things should be getting better right about... 270 00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,124 Now! Aah! 271 00:13:04,462 --> 00:13:06,196 So long, sucker. 272 00:13:06,264 --> 00:13:08,732 Are you crazy, pushing me in the pool?! 273 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,035 I had 40 hits of Ecstasy in my pocket! 274 00:13:11,102 --> 00:13:12,836 Buckle up, kids. 275 00:13:12,904 --> 00:13:14,972 They're going to have to go to the hospital. 276 00:13:16,241 --> 00:13:17,942 This boat is awesome, babe! 277 00:13:18,009 --> 00:13:20,911 And we're the only passengers aboard. 278 00:13:20,979 --> 00:13:23,013 Myeeeah! 279 00:13:23,081 --> 00:13:25,316 Oh, my God! Run! 280 00:13:25,383 --> 00:13:27,818 Myeeeah! 281 00:13:30,622 --> 00:13:33,257 Myeeeah! 282 00:13:33,325 --> 00:13:34,792 Myeeeah! 283 00:13:38,530 --> 00:13:41,265 Steve-arino's gonna be so excited. 284 00:13:41,333 --> 00:13:43,634 It's time for his first drug test. 285 00:13:44,836 --> 00:13:48,038 Santa Maria! 286 00:13:48,106 --> 00:13:50,040 What did you do to Steve-arino's bedroom? 287 00:13:50,108 --> 00:13:51,408 Me?! 288 00:13:51,476 --> 00:13:53,711 I haven't been off this couch in two weeks! 289 00:13:53,778 --> 00:13:55,980 It's my bedroom, my bathroom 290 00:13:56,047 --> 00:13:58,048 and my lover. 291 00:13:59,818 --> 00:14:01,285 Well, where's Steve-arino? 292 00:14:01,353 --> 00:14:03,621 Took off this morning, left a note. 293 00:14:03,688 --> 00:14:05,556 "Father, I can no longer tolerate 294 00:14:05,624 --> 00:14:07,024 "your oppressive treatment. 295 00:14:07,092 --> 00:14:09,126 "I'm leaving and never coming back. 296 00:14:09,194 --> 00:14:11,362 "All the best, Steve-arino. 297 00:14:11,429 --> 00:14:14,231 "P.S., I will be dropping the "arino" from my name, 298 00:14:14,299 --> 00:14:17,101 as I am not a character from Welcome Back, Kotter." 299 00:14:17,168 --> 00:14:19,436 Ha! You drove him off. 300 00:14:19,504 --> 00:14:21,505 Just like you drove Hayley off. 301 00:14:21,573 --> 00:14:22,773 I'm the better parent! 302 00:14:22,841 --> 00:14:25,275 Oh, my God, it's true. 303 00:14:25,343 --> 00:14:27,578 I've failed as a father. 304 00:14:27,646 --> 00:14:29,947 You can still be a good dad... 305 00:14:30,015 --> 00:14:32,916 if you get me some more nachos, fat ass. 306 00:14:36,988 --> 00:14:39,156 And don't skimp on the chili peppers! 307 00:14:39,224 --> 00:14:41,558 I want my farts to hurt! 308 00:14:42,961 --> 00:14:44,695 Weak. 309 00:14:50,418 --> 00:14:51,853 Steve, get your feet off the table. 310 00:14:51,898 --> 00:14:54,199 - Mom says I don't have to. - Well, I say... 311 00:14:54,278 --> 00:14:56,279 Mom, Dad's trying to get me to run away 312 00:14:56,347 --> 00:14:57,447 like all your other kids! 313 00:14:57,515 --> 00:14:58,682 Stan, leave him alone. 314 00:14:58,749 --> 00:15:00,317 Steve, I got your lunch. 315 00:15:00,384 --> 00:15:02,786 That is, if you want to go to school today. 316 00:15:02,853 --> 00:15:04,254 I'll put it in your knapsack. 317 00:15:04,322 --> 00:15:05,455 Don't touch that! 318 00:15:07,625 --> 00:15:09,225 Good Lord! 319 00:15:09,293 --> 00:15:11,761 He mutilates innocent cats. 320 00:15:11,829 --> 00:15:14,230 Yes! You raised a monster! 321 00:15:14,298 --> 00:15:15,899 Steve-arino only ran away. 322 00:15:15,967 --> 00:15:17,200 I'm the better parent! 323 00:15:17,268 --> 00:15:19,235 Steve, I don't know what's going on, 324 00:15:19,303 --> 00:15:21,404 but I'm here for you. 325 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,207 Steve-arino?! 326 00:15:24,275 --> 00:15:25,475 Hi, Dad. 327 00:15:25,543 --> 00:15:27,077 What...? Why are you dressed as Steve? 328 00:15:27,144 --> 00:15:28,445 It's simple really. 329 00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:29,946 I hated all your rules 330 00:15:30,014 --> 00:15:31,548 and wanted Steve's easy life. 331 00:15:31,615 --> 00:15:33,717 So, I faked running away and took his place. 332 00:15:33,784 --> 00:15:35,952 Check this out. Getting fancy! 333 00:15:37,888 --> 00:15:39,489 Great, Stan. 334 00:15:39,557 --> 00:15:42,993 You turned your Steve into a cat-killing psychopath. 335 00:15:43,060 --> 00:15:45,261 And I have no idea where my Steve... 336 00:15:45,329 --> 00:15:46,696 Will you stop doing that?! 337 00:15:48,299 --> 00:15:50,533 What did you do with Steve?! 338 00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:51,735 I got him locked away. 339 00:15:51,802 --> 00:15:53,136 I was keeping him alive 340 00:15:53,204 --> 00:15:55,472 in case I ever needed some spare body parts, 341 00:15:55,539 --> 00:15:57,741 but now that the cat's out of the bag... 342 00:15:57,808 --> 00:15:59,442 ...I'm gonna kill him. 343 00:15:59,510 --> 00:16:01,311 You little... 344 00:16:03,781 --> 00:16:05,248 Damn his athleticism! 345 00:16:05,316 --> 00:16:08,618 I swear, every time I help someone strengthen their core, 346 00:16:08,686 --> 00:16:10,186 it comes back to haunt me. 347 00:16:10,254 --> 00:16:11,988 We have to follow him to Steve. 348 00:16:12,056 --> 00:16:14,024 How? He's going through the woods. 349 00:16:14,091 --> 00:16:15,825 We can't keep up with him on foot. 350 00:16:17,395 --> 00:16:20,363 ♪ ♪ 351 00:16:37,314 --> 00:16:39,182 He's heading to Dangerous Jump Pass. 352 00:17:03,741 --> 00:17:05,008 Stan! 353 00:17:08,579 --> 00:17:11,081 Aah. 354 00:17:11,148 --> 00:17:14,484 Radical! 355 00:17:17,421 --> 00:17:19,756 He's headed for the old magazine factory. 356 00:17:26,363 --> 00:17:27,730 What-what if he finds us? 357 00:17:27,798 --> 00:17:30,066 We've taken six flights since we ditched the boat. 358 00:17:30,134 --> 00:17:31,401 Okay, there's no way. 359 00:17:31,469 --> 00:17:32,635 Myeeeah? 360 00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:33,937 Don't you start. 361 00:17:34,004 --> 00:17:35,171 No. Myeeeah. 362 00:17:35,239 --> 00:17:36,673 It's Myeeeah. 363 00:17:36,740 --> 00:17:39,175 Activities Director from Golden Mango Resort. 364 00:17:39,243 --> 00:17:41,377 Myeeah! 365 00:17:41,445 --> 00:17:42,745 No! 366 00:17:46,884 --> 00:17:48,685 Myeeeah! 367 00:17:48,752 --> 00:17:50,053 Myeeeah! 368 00:17:50,121 --> 00:17:51,421 All right! All right! 369 00:17:51,489 --> 00:17:52,722 Take the money! 370 00:17:52,790 --> 00:17:54,824 Just, God, stop making that sound! 371 00:17:54,892 --> 00:17:57,193 Yes! 372 00:17:57,261 --> 00:17:58,995 I told you I'd get the money. 373 00:17:59,063 --> 00:18:00,430 Wait, wait. Where'd it all go? 374 00:18:00,498 --> 00:18:03,566 We spent it trying to get away from you, you dumbass! 375 00:18:03,634 --> 00:18:04,968 Oh. 376 00:18:05,035 --> 00:18:06,936 Looks like my work is done here. 377 00:18:07,004 --> 00:18:09,439 On to the next grand adventure. 378 00:18:09,507 --> 00:18:12,175 Change the backdrop, Don. 379 00:18:12,243 --> 00:18:15,879 India! The birthplace of diarrhea. 380 00:18:29,226 --> 00:18:30,326 Steve! 381 00:18:34,398 --> 00:18:35,565 Welcome 382 00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:37,534 to my little refuge. 383 00:18:37,601 --> 00:18:39,669 Steve-arino! 384 00:18:39,737 --> 00:18:41,671 I'm tired of you bossing me around, Dad. 385 00:18:41,739 --> 00:18:43,973 All the running, all the... all the studying, 386 00:18:44,041 --> 00:18:46,376 all the planning for your Christian camp. 387 00:18:46,443 --> 00:18:48,711 I know you want to break ground in 2012, 388 00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:50,780 but it's not going to happen! 389 00:18:50,848 --> 00:18:53,016 We can't get the permits! 390 00:18:53,083 --> 00:18:55,885 Steve-arino, you let Steve go and stop this at once! 391 00:18:55,953 --> 00:18:57,854 Stan, being strict 392 00:18:57,922 --> 00:19:00,590 is what made him this way in the first place. 393 00:19:00,658 --> 00:19:03,326 Look, Steve-arino... 394 00:19:04,495 --> 00:19:05,628 I know 395 00:19:05,696 --> 00:19:07,297 I've been too hard on you. 396 00:19:07,364 --> 00:19:08,898 From here on out, I promise 397 00:19:08,966 --> 00:19:11,334 to let you do whatever you want, whenever you want. 398 00:19:11,402 --> 00:19:14,170 Really? 399 00:19:14,238 --> 00:19:16,773 Really. You name it. 400 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,641 I want to kill Steve. 401 00:19:18,709 --> 00:19:19,676 Okay. Stan! 402 00:19:19,743 --> 00:19:20,810 Right, right, right. 403 00:19:39,096 --> 00:19:40,930 What a waste. 404 00:19:40,998 --> 00:19:43,533 Those were brand- new sneakers. 405 00:19:43,601 --> 00:19:45,568 Ho, hey, whoa, hey, they'll fit Steve. 406 00:19:45,636 --> 00:19:47,704 Steve! 407 00:19:48,872 --> 00:19:49,973 About time! 408 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,307 It's 4:00! 409 00:19:51,375 --> 00:19:53,309 Where are my 4:00 nachos?! 410 00:19:53,377 --> 00:19:54,744 I got this one. 411 00:19:56,981 --> 00:19:59,249 Steven Smith, I am your mother! 412 00:19:59,316 --> 00:20:01,751 If you don't get out of that cage, 413 00:20:01,819 --> 00:20:05,822 I will push you back up my clownhole and birth you again 414 00:20:05,889 --> 00:20:07,190 and name you my bitch. 415 00:20:07,258 --> 00:20:08,791 Now get out of that cage! 416 00:20:11,362 --> 00:20:14,897 I guess Steve needs both of our parenting styles 417 00:20:14,965 --> 00:20:16,366 to balance him out. 418 00:20:16,433 --> 00:20:17,700 You're right. And you know what? 419 00:20:17,768 --> 00:20:19,302 We got to stop beating ourselves up 420 00:20:19,370 --> 00:20:20,670 over Hayley running off with Jeff. 421 00:20:20,738 --> 00:20:22,171 Yeah! 422 00:20:22,239 --> 00:20:24,207 Miss me? No! 423 00:20:24,275 --> 00:20:26,576 Now, to finish what I started. 424 00:20:32,783 --> 00:20:34,284 Steve, hit the deck! 425 00:20:38,422 --> 00:20:40,456 Come on, Steve. 426 00:20:40,524 --> 00:20:42,425 Let's go get you those nachos. 427 00:20:42,493 --> 00:20:45,261 You can eat them after you do your homework. 428 00:21:05,382 --> 00:21:08,151 I'll see you in hell. 429 00:21:09,897 --> 00:21:14,797 == Sync, corrected by elderman ==