1 00:00:04,036 --> 00:00:06,804 ♪ Good morning, USA! ♪ 2 00:00:06,872 --> 00:00:10,742 ♪ I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 3 00:00:10,809 --> 00:00:13,678 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 4 00:00:13,746 --> 00:00:17,849 ♪ And he's shining a salute to the American race ♪ 5 00:00:19,918 --> 00:00:23,454 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 6 00:00:23,522 --> 00:00:25,323 ♪ Good... ♪ ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 7 00:00:25,391 --> 00:00:26,958 Aah! 8 00:00:27,026 --> 00:00:31,329 American Dad 5x15 Merlot Down Dirty Shame Original Air Date on April 18, 2010 9 00:00:31,339 --> 00:00:33,439 -- Sync, corrected by elderman -- -- for addic7ed.com -- 10 00:00:34,133 --> 00:00:36,668 Help! We're trapped in this elevator! 11 00:00:36,735 --> 00:00:38,169 We're going to die in here! 12 00:00:38,237 --> 00:00:39,704 Stan, I have you. 13 00:00:39,772 --> 00:00:41,572 I will not let anything happen to you. 14 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:44,075 Here, smell my mouth. 15 00:00:44,143 --> 00:00:45,109 Garlic chicken. 16 00:00:45,177 --> 00:00:47,011 Your favorite. 17 00:00:47,079 --> 00:00:48,880 Thank you, Roger. 18 00:00:48,947 --> 00:00:50,315 If we get out of here, 19 00:00:50,382 --> 00:00:52,183 we're going to be best friends forever. 20 00:00:52,251 --> 00:00:55,186 Oh, Stan, we'll go straight to the Jewelry Galleria 21 00:00:55,254 --> 00:00:56,454 and by something to commemorate 22 00:00:56,522 --> 00:00:59,190 our remarkable friendship. High five! 23 00:01:03,729 --> 00:01:06,597 Is this anything like what you're talking about? 24 00:01:09,735 --> 00:01:12,403 This is exactly what we're talking about. 25 00:01:12,471 --> 00:01:14,205 Stan, will you put mine on? 26 00:01:18,944 --> 00:01:21,279 You've made me so happy. 27 00:01:24,249 --> 00:01:25,516 Buddy, I need your help. 28 00:01:25,584 --> 00:01:27,185 Francine will be here in ten seconds 29 00:01:27,252 --> 00:01:29,053 and I'm going to telher something she doesn't want to hear 30 00:01:29,121 --> 00:01:30,555 Play along. Finally! 31 00:01:32,624 --> 00:01:34,025 No, just agree with me. 32 00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:35,626 Oh. Hey, Stan. 33 00:01:35,694 --> 00:01:38,096 Just reminding you-- tomorrow's our drive up to wine country. 34 00:01:38,163 --> 00:01:39,630 Tomorrow?! 35 00:01:39,698 --> 00:01:42,667 Oh, boy, tomorrow's a big work day at work. 36 00:01:42,735 --> 00:01:45,236 What?! Stan, I've been planning 37 00:01:45,304 --> 00:01:47,472 this wine tasting trip for a long time. 38 00:01:47,539 --> 00:01:49,874 I wanted to go, but the security level is at orange. 39 00:01:49,942 --> 00:01:51,309 It's more dangerous now. 40 00:01:51,377 --> 00:01:53,578 Orange, it's more dangerous now. 41 00:01:53,645 --> 00:01:55,780 I call bullarky, Stan. 42 00:01:55,848 --> 00:01:57,882 You just don't want to go wine tasting. 43 00:01:57,950 --> 00:02:00,218 Well, take Roger. Wine lover right here. 44 00:02:00,285 --> 00:02:01,919 Also a heroin lover in case anyone 45 00:02:01,987 --> 00:02:03,254 wants to schedule a poppy tour. 46 00:02:03,322 --> 00:02:04,889 Huge heroin fan. 47 00:02:04,957 --> 00:02:06,591 Don't use it, just like being around it. 48 00:02:06,658 --> 00:02:09,193 Study it. Appreciate it. Use it sometimes. 49 00:02:09,261 --> 00:02:11,863 Fine! 50 00:02:11,930 --> 00:02:13,931 Good looking out, buddy. High five. 51 00:02:13,999 --> 00:02:15,366 Yeah! Yeah! 52 00:02:20,939 --> 00:02:23,408 The red ball. Yes! 53 00:02:23,475 --> 00:02:25,376 Hey, Pinkerton, you're giving everyone 54 00:02:25,444 --> 00:02:27,044 an "A" on this dumb lab. 55 00:02:27,112 --> 00:02:30,381 Sure, and I'll throw in some suckers. 56 00:02:32,851 --> 00:02:35,286 I want to lick your lolly. 57 00:02:38,991 --> 00:02:40,925 Now, kiss me. 58 00:02:40,993 --> 00:02:42,760 I'm not going to kiss you... 59 00:02:42,828 --> 00:02:44,929 with my top on. 60 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,500 No! Amy! 61 00:02:49,568 --> 00:02:51,269 I have so much horniness to give! 62 00:02:51,336 --> 00:02:53,371 Steve, it's just a dream. 63 00:02:53,439 --> 00:02:54,906 It was more than a dream, Klaus. 64 00:02:54,973 --> 00:02:56,207 It was a lucid dream. 65 00:02:56,275 --> 00:02:57,942 Oh-ho, it happens. 66 00:02:58,010 --> 00:03:00,111 We'll just put your sheets in the wash. 67 00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:02,313 No, a "lucid" dream. 68 00:03:02,381 --> 00:03:04,515 It's when you have total control over everything. 69 00:03:04,583 --> 00:03:05,917 I trained myself. 70 00:03:05,984 --> 00:03:07,752 When I see a red ball, it's a sign 71 00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:10,054 that I'm dreaming and I can do whatever I want. 72 00:03:10,122 --> 00:03:11,355 You must teach me. 73 00:03:11,423 --> 00:03:13,357 Oh, that is such a coincidence. 74 00:03:13,425 --> 00:03:14,992 Klaus, are you ready for coincidence time? 75 00:03:15,060 --> 00:03:17,028 I was just telling Toshi how I wanted to teach 76 00:03:17,095 --> 00:03:19,096 some whiny fish how to loose a dream. 77 00:03:19,164 --> 00:03:21,299 I mean, come on! Later, dumb ass. 78 00:03:22,601 --> 00:03:24,402 Why? 79 00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:26,471 Francine's pretty mad at me for bailing on her. 80 00:03:26,538 --> 00:03:28,873 She made me have sex by myself last night. 81 00:03:28,941 --> 00:03:30,775 Yeah, I know. We were watching CSI together. 82 00:03:30,843 --> 00:03:32,310 Well, thanks for doing this, man. 83 00:03:32,377 --> 00:03:34,445 Oh, and watch your back for horn dogs. 84 00:03:34,513 --> 00:03:37,148 Lot of Sweet Petes up in the wine country looking for an easy lay. 85 00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:38,783 I'm the vagina goalie. Got it. 86 00:03:38,851 --> 00:03:40,418 Let's go, Roger. 87 00:03:41,820 --> 00:03:43,488 Bye, baby. 88 00:03:43,555 --> 00:03:45,423 You got this handled? 89 00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:46,691 Damn straight! Swing it! 90 00:03:46,758 --> 00:03:48,559 Oh, yeah. 91 00:03:48,627 --> 00:03:50,361 Uh, yeah, yeah, get, get a little closer. 92 00:03:50,429 --> 00:03:52,263 You bend down, come at an angle. 93 00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:53,631 Yeah! Yeah! 94 00:03:56,301 --> 00:03:57,935 Screw Stan. 95 00:03:58,003 --> 00:03:59,904 We can have a great time without him, right? 96 00:03:59,972 --> 00:04:01,239 How could we not? 97 00:04:01,306 --> 00:04:03,741 I mean, look, they've got a wine train we can ride! 98 00:04:03,809 --> 00:04:05,243 Wait-- can we ride it? 99 00:04:05,310 --> 00:04:08,012 It's a small train that goes through the vineyards 100 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,615 and carries passengers-- yes, we can ride the wine train! 101 00:04:10,682 --> 00:04:11,916 Choo-choo! 102 00:04:11,984 --> 00:04:14,519 Don't... do that. 103 00:04:22,928 --> 00:04:24,962 Roger, am I not good company? 104 00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:27,231 I mean, why didn't Stan want to come? 105 00:04:27,299 --> 00:04:28,699 Oh, you know Stan. 106 00:04:28,767 --> 00:04:30,568 He's a big weirdo. Oh, before I forget. 107 00:04:30,636 --> 00:04:32,737 This is my wine journal from my last tour. 108 00:04:32,804 --> 00:04:33,905 I got you one. 109 00:04:33,972 --> 00:04:35,306 We can rate the wines we taste. 110 00:04:35,374 --> 00:04:36,641 Check out my system. 111 00:04:36,708 --> 00:04:38,609 I guess I didn't like this particular wine 112 00:04:38,677 --> 00:04:41,279 because next to the name, I drew a butt taking a dookie. 113 00:04:41,346 --> 00:04:43,781 But here, this one. This one's a dookie and a baseball cap. 114 00:04:43,849 --> 00:04:46,417 A hat means I like the wine. What's that? 115 00:04:46,485 --> 00:04:48,352 That's a dookie and an Indian headdress. 116 00:04:48,420 --> 00:04:49,987 Racist-- I was drunk by then. 117 00:04:50,055 --> 00:04:51,556 Ah, the hell with Stan. 118 00:04:51,623 --> 00:04:53,524 Let's get ripped. Yeah! 119 00:04:53,592 --> 00:04:55,726 I got a map with all the best spots in town. 120 00:04:55,794 --> 00:04:56,961 You said raped, right? 121 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,402 Whoa, Frannie, you might want to slow down. 122 00:05:04,469 --> 00:05:06,771 More like you might want to speed up. 123 00:05:08,373 --> 00:05:11,008 Ha-ha! It's on, bitch! 124 00:05:11,076 --> 00:05:12,810 I'm going to go- I'm going to go hit the head, 125 00:05:12,878 --> 00:05:15,012 come back and get ruined. 126 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,482 Like, just ruin myself and everything around me. 127 00:05:23,155 --> 00:05:24,922 Did you just drink my wine? 128 00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:27,592 Prolly. I'm getting drunk off my ass. 129 00:05:27,659 --> 00:05:29,126 Very nice. 130 00:05:29,194 --> 00:05:31,629 Two lubricants down this way, por favor. 131 00:05:33,265 --> 00:05:35,299 Yo, Jack, you better step away. 132 00:05:35,367 --> 00:05:37,101 That's my best friend's girl. 133 00:05:37,169 --> 00:05:39,036 Did you, did you already pee? 134 00:05:39,104 --> 00:05:42,139 No, I didn't make it. But this guy, this guy here-- 135 00:05:42,207 --> 00:05:44,842 Mr. Sweet Pete- he thinks he's making it. 136 00:05:44,910 --> 00:05:46,477 Just buying the lady a drink. 137 00:05:46,545 --> 00:05:48,312 I'll buy her the drinks, thank you. 138 00:05:48,380 --> 00:05:50,982 Can, can you, can you spot me a $20? 139 00:05:51,049 --> 00:05:54,185 I lost my wallet somewhere in this thieving town! 140 00:05:55,954 --> 00:05:56,988 Thank you! 141 00:05:57,055 --> 00:05:59,290 Oh, my God, thank you so much. 142 00:05:59,358 --> 00:06:02,193 This is-- I can't, I can't even believe-- thank you. 143 00:06:02,260 --> 00:06:05,096 Thank you. This is an honest town. 144 00:06:05,163 --> 00:06:07,398 Somebody, somebody just turned it in? 145 00:06:07,466 --> 00:06:09,467 No, you found it in your jacket. 146 00:06:09,534 --> 00:06:11,435 Thank you. 147 00:06:11,503 --> 00:06:14,572 I'm 'bout, I'm 'bout ready to call it a night. 148 00:06:19,144 --> 00:06:22,780 You're fun! That's who you are. 149 00:06:30,255 --> 00:06:32,189 Mia, we need napkins over here! 150 00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:36,727 So, the kitchen's closing in five minutes, 151 00:06:36,795 --> 00:06:38,863 uh, if you want anything. Anything? 152 00:06:38,930 --> 00:06:41,532 Can you ask the chef if he can whip me up a room 153 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,168 without so many pubic hairs in the bathtub? 154 00:06:44,236 --> 00:06:46,103 That's funny. 155 00:06:46,171 --> 00:06:48,172 Yeah, that's why I said it. 156 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,473 She likes you. 157 00:06:49,541 --> 00:06:51,742 That bowser? She thinks I'm a Milk Bone. 158 00:06:52,978 --> 00:06:54,245 Come on. 159 00:07:00,786 --> 00:07:04,522 Uh-oh, Frannie, Mia got me all worked up. 160 00:07:04,589 --> 00:07:06,424 You perv! 161 00:07:18,574 --> 00:07:19,707 Roger! What? 162 00:07:19,775 --> 00:07:22,143 God! Why did you do that? 163 00:07:22,211 --> 00:07:24,345 Oh! I'm sorry. 164 00:07:24,413 --> 00:07:25,980 I'm so sorry. 165 00:07:26,048 --> 00:07:28,082 I didn't mean, I didn't mean-- I'm sorry. 166 00:07:28,150 --> 00:07:30,251 I'm just, I'm j-- I'm drunk. 167 00:07:30,319 --> 00:07:33,221 Look, I'll, I'll go to sleep in the car now. 168 00:07:33,288 --> 00:07:35,656 I'll, I'm just- I'll go to the car, okay? 169 00:07:35,724 --> 00:07:37,358 Ow! 170 00:07:37,426 --> 00:07:39,093 Ew! Gross! 171 00:07:39,161 --> 00:07:42,530 Somebody, somebody's drying their bike shorts on the railing. 172 00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:47,902 Make me breakfast... 173 00:07:47,970 --> 00:07:50,171 What's up with Steve? He's sleeping all the time. 174 00:07:50,239 --> 00:07:52,373 He's on a lucid dream kick. 175 00:07:52,441 --> 00:07:54,042 Well, not during Iconoclasts 176 00:07:54,109 --> 00:07:55,243 with Katherine Helmond and Usher. 177 00:07:55,310 --> 00:07:57,111 I don't know who you are. 178 00:07:57,179 --> 00:07:59,447 I don't know who you are. 179 00:08:00,849 --> 00:08:02,050 Hey, wake up! 180 00:08:02,117 --> 00:08:03,151 Can't you do that somewhere else? 181 00:08:03,218 --> 00:08:05,353 It doesn't matter where I do it. 182 00:08:05,421 --> 00:08:07,755 When I go into my dreams, I'm king. 183 00:08:07,823 --> 00:08:09,991 It's awesome! You should try it. 184 00:08:10,059 --> 00:08:11,993 Maybe in your dreams you could have some friends. 185 00:08:12,061 --> 00:08:13,594 Shut up. I have friends. 186 00:08:13,662 --> 00:08:16,631 Oh, right! I forgot about your best friend, the fish. 187 00:08:16,698 --> 00:08:18,399 Fools. 188 00:08:18,467 --> 00:08:19,834 What a jerk. 189 00:08:19,902 --> 00:08:22,103 We need to take him down a peg. 190 00:08:22,171 --> 00:08:24,005 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 191 00:08:24,073 --> 00:08:27,809 Use the secret mental telepathy we sha re to bring down Steve? 192 00:08:27,876 --> 00:08:31,179 No, I say we mess with Steve witho ut using our powers. 193 00:08:31,246 --> 00:08:33,014 God! Stick-in-the-mud bitch. 194 00:08:33,082 --> 00:08:34,849 Klaus, you know I can hear you. 195 00:08:34,917 --> 00:08:36,217 Yeah, I'm pissed! 196 00:08:36,285 --> 00:08:37,385 I'm insulting you. 197 00:08:42,324 --> 00:08:44,292 Ah! Oh... 198 00:08:44,359 --> 00:08:48,663 Roger, maybe we should talk about last night. 199 00:08:48,730 --> 00:08:50,498 Get some breakfast? Excellent! Oh! 200 00:08:56,338 --> 00:08:57,705 Y'all have enough time? 201 00:08:57,773 --> 00:09:00,808 I'll have two eggs, one over easy, one over medium, 202 00:09:00,876 --> 00:09:03,144 three sausage links, a cup of cottage cheese 203 00:09:03,212 --> 00:09:04,846 with a drizzle of honey, a fruit cup-- 204 00:09:04,913 --> 00:09:07,048 unless it's honeydew melon, in which case, skip it 205 00:09:07,116 --> 00:09:08,749 and make it half a grapefruit. 206 00:09:08,817 --> 00:09:12,153 A glass of whole milk over ice and a side of toast, barely browned. 207 00:09:12,221 --> 00:09:14,055 Closer to bread than toast- I'm not joking-- 208 00:09:14,123 --> 00:09:16,491 with as many local jams as you have in stock. 209 00:09:16,558 --> 00:09:18,693 Oh, and a bloody Mary. We don't serve alcohol. 210 00:09:23,699 --> 00:09:25,733 Look, about last night... It was nothing. 211 00:09:25,801 --> 00:09:27,635 I made a stupid, drunk mistake 212 00:09:27,703 --> 00:09:28,870 and it'll never happen again. 213 00:09:28,937 --> 00:09:30,972 Good. We'll put it behind us 214 00:09:31,039 --> 00:09:32,540 and, hopefully, Stan will understand. 215 00:09:32,608 --> 00:09:34,375 Whoa! Whoa, whoa. 216 00:09:34,443 --> 00:09:36,511 I don't think we tell Stan. 217 00:09:36,578 --> 00:09:38,913 He's my best friend and I, I betrayed him. 218 00:09:38,981 --> 00:09:41,182 Roger, I've got to be up front with him. 219 00:09:41,250 --> 00:09:44,152 Oh, like he was when he didn't tell you he was an ice dancer? 220 00:09:44,219 --> 00:09:46,020 'Member? It was his "winter secret"? 221 00:09:46,088 --> 00:09:47,922 Well, this'll be your fall secret. 222 00:09:47,990 --> 00:09:49,557 Seasonal secrets. 223 00:09:49,625 --> 00:09:51,859 I was thinking of opening a boutique with that name. 224 00:09:51,927 --> 00:09:53,928 God, to open a boutique! 225 00:09:53,996 --> 00:09:57,198 Look, if I don't tell Stan and he ever found out, 226 00:09:57,266 --> 00:09:58,900 then this thing that meant nothing 227 00:09:58,967 --> 00:10:00,735 would suddenly mean something. 228 00:10:00,802 --> 00:10:02,737 Francine, please, just think about it, okay? 229 00:10:02,804 --> 00:10:05,439 Okay, I'll think about it. 230 00:10:05,507 --> 00:10:06,774 Excuse me. 231 00:10:06,842 --> 00:10:08,776 Is Smuckers produced locally? 232 00:10:08,844 --> 00:10:11,179 Um... No, it's not. 233 00:10:14,116 --> 00:10:15,583 He's coming. Throw it. 234 00:10:17,553 --> 00:10:18,986 The red ball! 235 00:10:19,054 --> 00:10:21,088 Oh, my God! This is the most real dream yet! 236 00:10:21,156 --> 00:10:23,057 Wait, can this be a dream? 237 00:10:23,125 --> 00:10:24,192 Who stole the tarts? 238 00:10:24,259 --> 00:10:26,260 Who stole the tarts? 239 00:10:26,328 --> 00:10:29,564 Boy, did you see a short giraffe with a mouthful of muffin? 240 00:10:29,631 --> 00:10:30,965 This is awesome! 241 00:10:32,868 --> 00:10:35,102 Hayley, give me lunch money. 242 00:10:35,170 --> 00:10:37,538 Now, ask Snot on a date. 243 00:10:37,606 --> 00:10:39,440 Hi, it's Hayley. 244 00:10:39,508 --> 00:10:40,908 Will you go out with me? 245 00:10:40,976 --> 00:10:42,176 Oh, my God, yes! 246 00:10:42,244 --> 00:10:43,444 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my... 247 00:10:45,013 --> 00:10:46,814 Today, school is a pajama party. 248 00:10:46,882 --> 00:10:49,217 I think I'll fly there. 249 00:10:49,284 --> 00:10:52,486 Or, or you could force me to be your chauffeur slave. 250 00:10:52,554 --> 00:10:55,523 Yes, that seems more appropriate for the dream king. 251 00:11:00,696 --> 00:11:02,129 Run all the lights! 252 00:11:02,197 --> 00:11:03,764 It's my dream. Nothing can hurt us. 253 00:11:03,832 --> 00:11:05,233 But don't drive too fast. 254 00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:07,802 I need about 15 for a little Steve time. 255 00:11:09,938 --> 00:11:11,672 We are getting away with this. 256 00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:13,174 No talking! 257 00:11:15,978 --> 00:11:19,146 Say, I was just thinking again about the whole kiss thing. 258 00:11:19,214 --> 00:11:22,016 Anyhoo, I bet you decided not to tell Stan. 259 00:11:22,084 --> 00:11:23,818 Actually, I think he should know. 260 00:11:23,885 --> 00:11:25,653 Why? He blew you off. 261 00:11:25,721 --> 00:11:27,555 I shouldn't even have been on this trip. 262 00:11:27,623 --> 00:11:29,890 Of course, it's no surprise. He's just not romantic. 263 00:11:29,958 --> 00:11:32,493 Big romantic surprise! 264 00:11:32,561 --> 00:11:34,328 Oh, baby. 265 00:11:34,396 --> 00:11:35,463 Oh, no. 266 00:11:35,530 --> 00:11:38,165 I missed my girl and my best friend. 267 00:11:38,233 --> 00:11:39,700 Blow me? You bet! 268 00:11:41,703 --> 00:11:43,204 Yeah! Yeah! 269 00:11:43,272 --> 00:11:44,972 That bartender Mia told me where you'd be. 270 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:46,874 She remembered you, Roger. 271 00:11:46,942 --> 00:11:49,443 I think she's into you, but she thought you were with Francine. 272 00:11:49,511 --> 00:11:52,446 Funny you should say that, because last night... 273 00:11:52,514 --> 00:11:55,216 Oh! How clumsy of me. 274 00:11:55,284 --> 00:11:57,385 I'm still getting used to my artificial foot. 275 00:11:57,452 --> 00:11:58,653 Don't worry about it. 276 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,321 I'll wash it out in the bathroom. 277 00:12:01,590 --> 00:12:04,425 That lady's knockers! 278 00:12:04,493 --> 00:12:05,993 Boy! 279 00:12:08,630 --> 00:12:10,598 Those damn Sweet Petes! 280 00:12:10,666 --> 00:12:12,066 You have any trouble with them last night? 281 00:12:12,134 --> 00:12:14,435 No, no, last night was pretty uneventful. 282 00:12:14,503 --> 00:12:16,504 Hey, you want to go? Aren't we waiting for Francine? 283 00:12:16,571 --> 00:12:17,772 Oh, she just texted me. 284 00:12:17,839 --> 00:12:19,674 She ran into a friend from camp in the bathroom. 285 00:12:19,741 --> 00:12:20,808 She'll meet us at the next place. 286 00:12:20,876 --> 00:12:22,376 Race you to the car! 287 00:12:25,847 --> 00:12:27,415 Where are you guys going? 288 00:12:29,251 --> 00:12:31,085 Please, Francine! 289 00:12:31,153 --> 00:12:33,354 I'm telling him, Roger. 290 00:12:33,422 --> 00:12:34,955 Stan... 291 00:12:35,023 --> 00:12:36,324 I-I want to be where the action is. 292 00:12:36,391 --> 00:12:38,125 Sing free-form jazz with me. 293 00:12:44,466 --> 00:12:46,233 ♪ ♪ 294 00:13:17,265 --> 00:13:19,433 Good show, Roger. 295 00:13:19,501 --> 00:13:21,502 I'm going to go buy us matching golf shirts. 296 00:13:21,570 --> 00:13:22,970 What, what are you? A large? Medium? 297 00:13:23,038 --> 00:13:24,872 Boy's husky. 298 00:13:26,241 --> 00:13:27,141 Stan! 299 00:13:29,311 --> 00:13:30,711 Come on, Francine. 300 00:13:30,779 --> 00:13:32,713 Can't you give me this one thing? 301 00:13:32,781 --> 00:13:34,582 He's my best friend in the world. 302 00:13:34,649 --> 00:13:36,217 My mind's made up. 303 00:13:36,284 --> 00:13:38,953 He's going to take my necklace away. 304 00:13:41,123 --> 00:13:43,958 Frannie, I just need a little time to think. 305 00:13:44,025 --> 00:13:45,559 Maybe you do, too, huh? 306 00:13:45,627 --> 00:13:47,661 Now, we both have a little time to think. 307 00:13:48,897 --> 00:13:51,031 Thinking's good. 308 00:13:51,099 --> 00:13:53,033 Thinking's what rational people do. 309 00:13:56,338 --> 00:13:57,805 I got you a woman's small. 310 00:13:57,873 --> 00:13:59,473 I had a fat kid try it on. 311 00:13:59,541 --> 00:14:01,175 It looked great on him, so... 312 00:14:01,243 --> 00:14:02,510 Thanks, bud. 313 00:14:02,577 --> 00:14:04,211 And by the way, Francine said she was pooped, 314 00:14:04,279 --> 00:14:06,247 so she went to the spa for a mud bath. 315 00:14:06,314 --> 00:14:08,115 FRANCINE Help! 316 00:14:08,183 --> 00:14:09,683 You hear screaming? Screaming? 317 00:14:09,751 --> 00:14:11,452 Yeah, I hear it. It's my calves. 318 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,053 We rented bikes yesterday. 319 00:14:13,121 --> 00:14:15,322 Did 50 miles. They are howling, bud. 320 00:14:22,735 --> 00:14:24,036 Hey, Roger! 321 00:14:24,199 --> 00:14:25,532 Sit up here at the bar. 322 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,001 Yech, don't stop. 323 00:14:27,068 --> 00:14:28,802 We're actually going to order some food. 324 00:14:28,870 --> 00:14:31,171 I serve the full menu right here. 325 00:14:31,239 --> 00:14:33,774 Stop it, Mia. You know your face is gross to me. 326 00:14:33,842 --> 00:14:34,975 Don't make me talk about that. 327 00:14:36,311 --> 00:14:37,811 When's Francine back from the spa? 328 00:14:37,879 --> 00:14:39,046 Could take weeks. 329 00:14:39,114 --> 00:14:40,914 She's getting the Tom and Jerry Cleanse. 330 00:14:40,982 --> 00:14:43,217 They send a hungry field mouse up her waa-waa, 331 00:14:43,285 --> 00:14:45,619 let it go to town, then they send a cat in after the mouse. 332 00:14:45,687 --> 00:14:47,955 It's a long process. You're funny, man. 333 00:14:48,023 --> 00:14:49,323 Order me the hamburger salad. 334 00:14:49,391 --> 00:14:50,591 I'm going to shower up. 335 00:14:53,428 --> 00:14:54,928 How you been, Rog? 336 00:14:54,996 --> 00:14:56,864 Do I know you? It's Mark. 337 00:14:56,931 --> 00:14:59,566 Remember, I paid for the chocolate you got caught stealing at the winery. 338 00:14:59,634 --> 00:15:00,701 You were there with your wife. 339 00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,002 That wasn't my wife! 340 00:15:02,070 --> 00:15:03,570 That was my best buddy's wife 341 00:15:03,638 --> 00:15:05,039 and I ended up kissing her. 342 00:15:05,106 --> 00:15:07,608 When he finds out, our friendship's going to be over. 343 00:15:07,676 --> 00:15:10,177 Not necessarily. Just let your buddy 344 00:15:10,245 --> 00:15:12,713 kiss your girl and then you'll be even. 345 00:15:12,781 --> 00:15:15,349 Oh, yeah, that'd be great, but I don't have a girlfriend. 346 00:15:23,425 --> 00:15:24,591 Hey, beautiful. 347 00:15:24,659 --> 00:15:26,427 You free tonight? Of course you're free. 348 00:15:26,494 --> 00:15:29,163 Now, go home and put on your best Disneyland sweatshirt. 349 00:15:29,230 --> 00:15:30,397 We're going out. 350 00:15:37,305 --> 00:15:39,106 Don't panic. I'm just keeping you down there 351 00:15:39,174 --> 00:15:40,541 until I can fix things. 352 00:15:41,876 --> 00:15:43,243 And I got you food. 353 00:15:43,311 --> 00:15:46,246 Sun Fresh chips, right? And a sandwich. 354 00:15:50,919 --> 00:15:52,853 Did you get it? 355 00:15:52,921 --> 00:15:54,621 Hello? 356 00:15:54,689 --> 00:15:56,290 Is the sandwich stuck in the pipe? 357 00:15:56,358 --> 00:15:57,958 Did you get any of the chips? 358 00:15:58,026 --> 00:15:59,493 They're Sun Fresh chips. 359 00:15:59,561 --> 00:16:01,595 They're healthy for you. Healthier than regular chips. 360 00:16:01,663 --> 00:16:03,864 Oh! No, they are not. 361 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,407 Yo, yo! 362 00:16:13,475 --> 00:16:15,542 I stopped for burgers after I choked it. 363 00:16:17,078 --> 00:16:18,679 Are we going too far with this? 364 00:16:18,747 --> 00:16:20,581 I sure hope so. 365 00:16:21,783 --> 00:16:23,684 Steve, it's almost 1:00. 366 00:16:23,752 --> 00:16:25,386 Get a load of Big Ben. 367 00:16:28,123 --> 00:16:29,223 I know what time it is. 368 00:16:32,494 --> 00:16:35,095 I'm going to go get Principal Lewis. 369 00:16:37,999 --> 00:16:40,100 Yo, girl. You're my lab partner. 370 00:16:40,168 --> 00:16:42,069 But I'm paired up with Dennis. 371 00:16:43,605 --> 00:16:46,106 Dennis is paired up with the floor now. 372 00:16:48,143 --> 00:16:50,577 Steve, you're so crazy today. 373 00:16:50,645 --> 00:16:54,381 You think that's crazy, wait till you see this! 374 00:16:54,449 --> 00:16:55,816 Let's fly! 375 00:16:55,884 --> 00:16:56,884 Nein! No, don't! 376 00:16:59,087 --> 00:17:00,254 I don't want to look. 377 00:17:00,321 --> 00:17:01,622 Does my leg look broken? 378 00:17:01,689 --> 00:17:03,791 Aah, my God! 379 00:17:07,595 --> 00:17:09,763 So, where do you want to go? 380 00:17:09,831 --> 00:17:11,932 I thought we'd just hang here with my buddy Stan. 381 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,067 He's super fun. Great kisser. 382 00:17:14,135 --> 00:17:16,336 Stan, you old bastard, get in here! 383 00:17:16,404 --> 00:17:18,772 This is my very serious girlfriend Mia. 384 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:19,840 We're friends. 385 00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:21,308 It's okay to kiss hello. 386 00:17:21,376 --> 00:17:22,276 What's a kiss? Nothing! 387 00:17:22,343 --> 00:17:23,510 Means you're friends. 388 00:17:23,578 --> 00:17:26,246 Wine country! Tequila all around! 389 00:17:33,588 --> 00:17:35,122 To kissing! 390 00:17:38,092 --> 00:17:39,693 Come on. Group kiss! 391 00:17:39,761 --> 00:17:41,462 I kiss Mia, I kiss Stan. 392 00:17:41,529 --> 00:17:42,896 Everybody's kissing! 393 00:17:42,964 --> 00:17:44,465 You guys kiss! 394 00:17:44,532 --> 00:17:46,867 I'm just gonna use the john real quick. 395 00:17:48,336 --> 00:17:49,703 What are you doing just sitting there?! 396 00:17:49,771 --> 00:17:50,938 You're the worst date. 397 00:17:51,005 --> 00:17:52,272 Go kiss him while he's pooping. 398 00:17:52,340 --> 00:17:54,241 You know, give him a San Diego thank you. 399 00:17:57,111 --> 00:17:59,513 ♪ Lips are for kissing, uh, uh-uh! ♪ 400 00:17:59,581 --> 00:18:01,348 ♪ Lips are for kissing, uh, uh-uh... ♪ 401 00:18:01,416 --> 00:18:03,484 You guys like that song, "Lips Are For Kissing"? 402 00:18:03,551 --> 00:18:04,885 Kiss if you like that song. 403 00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:06,487 I think I should go. 404 00:18:07,889 --> 00:18:09,690 You can't leave without a kiss. 405 00:18:09,757 --> 00:18:12,960 Come on. Go tongue-blast his baloney hole! 406 00:18:13,027 --> 00:18:15,028 Hey, bro, I wouldn't be too broken up about her. 407 00:18:15,096 --> 00:18:16,330 I was waiting to tell ya, 408 00:18:16,397 --> 00:18:18,065 but she tried to kiss me on the toilet. 409 00:18:18,132 --> 00:18:19,666 A little kiss? 410 00:18:19,734 --> 00:18:20,968 You thought I'd care? 411 00:18:21,035 --> 00:18:22,603 No, we're friends, so it's okay. 412 00:18:22,670 --> 00:18:24,104 Not in my book. 413 00:18:24,172 --> 00:18:25,973 That makes it especially not okay. 414 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,140 Remember these? 415 00:18:27,208 --> 00:18:28,475 Best friends forever, man. 416 00:18:33,548 --> 00:18:36,483 Stan, something happened last night. 417 00:18:36,551 --> 00:18:37,885 You're not gonna like it, 418 00:18:37,952 --> 00:18:39,620 but I have to tell you the truth. 419 00:18:42,690 --> 00:18:45,392 Stan, I have something to tell you. 420 00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:47,160 Roger already told me. 421 00:18:47,228 --> 00:18:50,063 Really? Yes, all the sordid details. 422 00:18:50,131 --> 00:18:51,932 Well, it wasn't sordid. 423 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,301 It was just a stupid little kiss. 424 00:18:54,369 --> 00:18:55,969 So you admit it! You kissed Roger! 425 00:18:56,037 --> 00:18:57,204 What?! No! 426 00:18:57,272 --> 00:18:58,205 He kissed me! 427 00:18:58,273 --> 00:18:59,273 Lie. 428 00:18:59,340 --> 00:19:01,408 I've been trying to tell you all day. 429 00:19:01,476 --> 00:19:02,809 All day? I've been waiting 430 00:19:02,877 --> 00:19:04,511 all day for you to come clean! 431 00:19:04,579 --> 00:19:06,513 But you went to the spa 432 00:19:06,581 --> 00:19:07,948 to ease your guilty conscience. 433 00:19:08,016 --> 00:19:10,050 Well, I couldn't leave my buddy hanging any longer! 434 00:19:10,118 --> 00:19:11,885 Stan, this is crazy! 435 00:19:11,953 --> 00:19:14,755 He kissed me, and then he buried me alive! 436 00:19:14,822 --> 00:19:16,823 Good try. We know you had a mud bath. 437 00:19:16,891 --> 00:19:18,458 In my clothes? 438 00:19:18,526 --> 00:19:20,861 Yeah, you ruined a perfectly fine dress 439 00:19:20,929 --> 00:19:22,930 your hardworking husband bought you. 440 00:19:22,997 --> 00:19:24,197 I do work hard. 441 00:19:24,265 --> 00:19:26,466 He's lying, Stan! 442 00:19:26,534 --> 00:19:27,534 No, I'm not. 443 00:19:27,602 --> 00:19:31,204 Stan, this is a high-five truth. 444 00:19:31,272 --> 00:19:33,674 This is ridiculous. 445 00:19:33,741 --> 00:19:35,075 Francine, I'm sorry. 446 00:19:35,143 --> 00:19:37,511 If I hid this from Stan and he found out, 447 00:19:37,579 --> 00:19:39,513 then this thing that meant nothing 448 00:19:39,581 --> 00:19:40,914 would suddenly mean something. 449 00:19:40,982 --> 00:19:42,849 That's what I told you! 450 00:19:42,917 --> 00:19:43,984 I'll kill you! 451 00:19:44,052 --> 00:19:45,452 Leave him alone, Francine. 452 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:46,954 Roger's a true friend. 453 00:19:48,489 --> 00:19:50,357 These bike shorts are dry. 454 00:19:50,425 --> 00:19:52,092 Why don't they take 'em down? 455 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:55,062 Hey, Room 23, your shorts! 456 00:19:57,231 --> 00:19:59,132 Who knows how many guys she was with 457 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,233 who weren't my best buddy 458 00:20:00,301 --> 00:20:01,335 and didn't tell me? 459 00:20:01,402 --> 00:20:03,770 Yeah, yeah, probably a lot. 460 00:20:03,838 --> 00:20:06,373 I've put so much into this marriage. 461 00:20:06,441 --> 00:20:08,542 God, now it looks like divorce. 462 00:20:08,610 --> 00:20:10,744 Half of all marriages end in divorce. 463 00:20:10,812 --> 00:20:12,212 But it's so terrible! 464 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,413 First, there's the kids! 465 00:20:13,481 --> 00:20:14,781 The poor kids! 466 00:20:14,849 --> 00:20:15,949 It'll make them stronger. 467 00:20:16,017 --> 00:20:17,017 Then the house, 468 00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:18,485 we'll have to sell the house! 469 00:20:18,553 --> 00:20:20,354 It's just stuff, man. Things. 470 00:20:20,421 --> 00:20:22,222 Which means no more attic for you. 471 00:20:22,290 --> 00:20:23,590 Beg pardon? 472 00:20:23,658 --> 00:20:25,392 I mean, where will you live?! 473 00:20:25,460 --> 00:20:26,460 This affects everyone! 474 00:20:26,527 --> 00:20:28,228 Whoa, what's this? 475 00:20:28,296 --> 00:20:30,063 Is the sidewall cracking? 476 00:20:30,131 --> 00:20:32,566 Shouldn't be. I just got these. 477 00:20:32,634 --> 00:20:35,102 Okay, Stan, now I can tell you: 478 00:20:35,169 --> 00:20:38,739 you don't have to get divorced and sell the attic 479 00:20:38,806 --> 00:20:40,741 because I was the one who kissed Francine. 480 00:20:40,808 --> 00:20:43,343 But it didn't mean anything. It was just a drunken slipup. 481 00:20:43,411 --> 00:20:45,846 Damn it, Roger! Get me the hell out of here! 482 00:20:45,913 --> 00:20:48,315 I'm just gonna give you some time to cool off. 483 00:20:48,383 --> 00:20:49,216 I'm gonna rip your head off! 484 00:20:49,284 --> 00:20:50,651 Okay, so you need more time. 485 00:20:59,935 --> 00:21:02,436 Not the necklace! 486 00:21:02,504 --> 00:21:04,071 Ow. 487 00:21:07,109 --> 00:21:08,776 They're beautiful, Stan. 488 00:21:08,844 --> 00:21:10,611 You're beautiful, baby. 489 00:21:10,679 --> 00:21:12,413 You're beautiful. 490 00:21:14,332 --> 00:21:16,367 I can't believe you did this to me. 491 00:21:16,435 --> 00:21:18,636 Amy's family might prosecute me for attempted murder. 492 00:21:19,905 --> 00:21:21,405 You wore your underwear to school. 493 00:21:27,312 --> 00:21:30,648 Wow, Hayley, you look beautiful. 494 00:21:30,715 --> 00:21:32,416 What are you talking about? 495 00:21:32,484 --> 00:21:33,417 I shaved. 496 00:21:33,485 --> 00:21:35,286 I'm here for our date. 497 00:21:35,353 --> 00:21:38,522 I sold all my toys to rent a limo. 498 00:21:38,590 --> 00:21:40,524 No. 499 00:21:40,592 --> 00:21:43,227 -- Sync, corrected by elderman -- -- for addic7ed.com -- 500 00:21:43,295 --> 00:21:45,096 Bye. Have a beautiful time!