1
00:00:00,879 --> 00:00:02,312
(upbeat March plays)
2
00:00:02,380 --> 00:00:05,382
¶ good morning, usa! ¶
3
00:00:05,450 --> 00:00:09,086
¶ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ¶
4
00:00:09,154 --> 00:00:12,022
¶ the sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ¶
5
00:00:12,090 --> 00:00:15,726
¶ and he's shining a salute
to the american race ¶
6
00:00:18,496 --> 00:00:21,198
¶ oh, boy, it's swell to say ¶
7
00:00:21,266 --> 00:00:22,800
¶ good morning, usa ¶
8
00:00:22,867 --> 00:00:27,171
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
9
00:00:27,238 --> 00:00:29,873
¶ good morning, usa! ¶
10
00:00:29,941 --> 00:00:31,708
¶ ¶
11
00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:36,880
(sighs):
Come on, francine,
12
00:00:36,948 --> 00:00:38,549
Don't make me late
for church again!
13
00:00:38,616 --> 00:00:40,951
God pays twice as much attention
on christmas.
14
00:00:41,019 --> 00:00:43,253
Like the media when a
white kid goes missing.
15
00:00:43,321 --> 00:00:46,356
Sorry, I was putting on
my new dress.
16
00:00:46,424 --> 00:00:48,425
I can't take you to god's
house like that!
17
00:00:48,493 --> 00:00:50,093
I can see your calves!
18
00:00:50,161 --> 00:00:51,728
You look like a
two-dollar whore!
19
00:00:51,796 --> 00:00:54,164
And keep in mind that the
dollar is weak right now.
20
00:00:54,232 --> 00:00:55,999
So, to wrap up, that's
an insult.
21
00:00:56,067 --> 00:00:58,368
See, at least roger shows
the proper respect
22
00:00:58,436 --> 00:00:59,803
For this holiest
of days.
23
00:00:59,871 --> 00:01:01,338
Oh, I love
your religion.
24
00:01:01,406 --> 00:01:02,973
For the crazy!
25
00:01:03,041 --> 00:01:05,042
Virgin birth? Water into wine?
26
00:01:05,109 --> 00:01:06,910
It's, it's like harry potter,
27
00:01:06,978 --> 00:01:08,979
But it causes genocide
and bad folk music.
28
00:01:09,047 --> 00:01:10,781
Eh? Eh?
29
00:01:10,849 --> 00:01:12,850
(laughing):
Who-who am I nudging?
30
00:01:12,917 --> 00:01:14,651
There's no one next to me.
31
00:01:14,719 --> 00:01:17,654
(bells tolling)
32
00:01:17,722 --> 00:01:19,857
Stan:
Great. No spaces.
33
00:01:19,924 --> 00:01:21,658
Thanks to the fair-weather
christians
34
00:01:21,726 --> 00:01:23,594
Who only show up on
christmas and easter.
35
00:01:23,661 --> 00:01:25,395
Well, we'll see how
fair the weather is
36
00:01:25,463 --> 00:01:27,297
When the rapture comes
and they're all left behind.
37
00:01:27,365 --> 00:01:28,932
Rapture? What's that?
38
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,034
It's the first sign of
the end of the world,
39
00:01:31,102 --> 00:01:34,438
When all true christians like
myself ascend to heaven and...
40
00:01:34,505 --> 00:01:36,540
Ascend! You're flying now!
41
00:01:36,608 --> 00:01:38,008
(brakes screeching)
enough!
42
00:01:38,076 --> 00:01:40,811
You and the kids go find
seats while we park.
43
00:01:42,113 --> 00:01:43,413
I hope I haven't
missed the part
44
00:01:43,481 --> 00:01:45,182
Where the three chinese
guys give perfume
45
00:01:45,250 --> 00:01:46,783
To the star baby.
46
00:01:46,851 --> 00:01:49,052
It's, it's like the diaries
of a madman!
47
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,153
(laughing)
48
00:01:50,221 --> 00:01:51,722
¶ ¶
49
00:01:53,124 --> 00:01:55,025
¶ joy to the world ¶
damn!
50
00:01:55,093 --> 00:01:56,326
¶ the lord is come... ¶
no seats!
51
00:01:56,394 --> 00:01:59,263
I'm beset by phony christians!
52
00:02:00,531 --> 00:02:03,267
Stan, honey,
it's christmas, relax.
53
00:02:03,334 --> 00:02:04,635
I won't relax!
54
00:02:04,702 --> 00:02:06,637
I'm a better christian
than anyone in there.
55
00:02:06,704 --> 00:02:08,438
I'm the one who drives
by hebrew schools,
56
00:02:08,506 --> 00:02:10,374
Baptizing kids with
a super soaker
57
00:02:10,441 --> 00:02:12,009
Filled with garlic
water.
(gasps)
58
00:02:12,076 --> 00:02:15,178
Here, I have an idea.
59
00:02:15,246 --> 00:02:17,247
We can't watch church
from here.
60
00:02:17,315 --> 00:02:19,650
This is where the slow
janitor lives.
61
00:02:19,717 --> 00:02:22,819
It reeks of dead mice and moldy
highlights magazines.
62
00:02:22,887 --> 00:02:25,155
Oh, I hate seeing
you stressed,
63
00:02:25,223 --> 00:02:28,058
So I'm gonna give you
your last present.
64
00:02:28,126 --> 00:02:29,593
Francine!
65
00:02:29,661 --> 00:02:31,528
We can't do this
in the house of the lord!
66
00:02:31,596 --> 00:02:33,463
This is wrong!
Then I've been
naughty,
67
00:02:33,531 --> 00:02:36,700
And you'll have to put
a big piece of coal
68
00:02:36,768 --> 00:02:38,235
In my stocking.
69
00:02:38,303 --> 00:02:39,469
(grunts)
70
00:02:39,537 --> 00:02:41,905
Damn your clumsy christmas
sex metaphors!
71
00:02:41,973 --> 00:02:43,307
(both moaning)
72
00:02:47,312 --> 00:02:48,779
Wow, thanks, francine.
73
00:02:48,846 --> 00:02:51,081
If you're wondering why I
lasted longer than usual,
74
00:02:51,149 --> 00:02:52,950
It's because I was focusing
on the dolls
75
00:02:53,017 --> 00:02:54,518
The janitor made out
of windex bottles
76
00:02:54,585 --> 00:02:56,353
And rat fur.
77
00:02:56,421 --> 00:02:57,688
Strange.
78
00:02:57,755 --> 00:02:59,256
I don't hear anything.
79
00:02:59,324 --> 00:03:00,090
(doors creaking)
80
00:03:01,292 --> 00:03:03,593
What's going on?
81
00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:05,028
(gasps):
Look!
82
00:03:08,933 --> 00:03:10,334
¶ gloria! ¶
83
00:03:11,736 --> 00:03:12,602
¶ gloria! ¶
84
00:03:14,906 --> 00:03:16,273
(gasps):
What's happening?!
85
00:03:16,341 --> 00:03:17,841
The rapture.
86
00:03:17,909 --> 00:03:19,910
Turns out
there is a god.
87
00:03:19,978 --> 00:03:23,513
¶ gloria! Gloria! ¶
88
00:03:23,581 --> 00:03:25,349
¶ ¶
89
00:03:29,020 --> 00:03:30,220
What?
90
00:03:30,288 --> 00:03:31,688
It can't be
the rapture!
91
00:03:31,756 --> 00:03:33,991
If this were the rapture,
I'd be floating up there!
92
00:03:34,058 --> 00:03:35,525
And so would
the slow janitor!
93
00:03:35,593 --> 00:03:37,961
Actually, I never
truly accepted jesus
94
00:03:38,029 --> 00:03:39,896
Into my heart.
95
00:03:39,964 --> 00:03:41,732
Mom!
Dad!
96
00:03:41,799 --> 00:03:43,700
Steve! Hayley!
97
00:03:43,768 --> 00:03:45,002
What's happening?!
98
00:03:45,069 --> 00:03:46,870
I was just about to do something
really funny!
99
00:03:46,938 --> 00:03:48,872
I'll tell you
what's happening.
100
00:03:48,940 --> 00:03:50,741
It's the end
of the world,
101
00:03:50,808 --> 00:03:52,609
And we've been
left behind!
102
00:03:52,677 --> 00:03:55,345
Oh, my god!
103
00:03:55,413 --> 00:03:58,281
The homeless guy
from the bus station is hung.
104
00:03:58,349 --> 00:04:00,017
But I knew that.
105
00:04:02,504 --> 00:04:04,571
Wait! There's been a
mistake! Lift me up, lord!
106
00:04:04,639 --> 00:04:06,440
Here, I'll help!
107
00:04:06,508 --> 00:04:08,442
Wait, hold on, this bible stuff
is real?!
108
00:04:08,510 --> 00:04:10,844
All right, somebody call
mel gibson and apologize.
109
00:04:10,912 --> 00:04:12,279
And then call tim robbins
110
00:04:12,347 --> 00:04:13,514
And tell him
I banged susan sarandon.
111
00:04:13,581 --> 00:04:14,748
He'll know what it means.
112
00:04:14,816 --> 00:04:16,750
Father donovan?!
What happens now?!
113
00:04:16,818 --> 00:04:18,919
Honestly, I have no clue.
114
00:04:18,987 --> 00:04:20,954
Luckily, I know an expert.
115
00:04:21,022 --> 00:04:22,222
Hey, kids!
116
00:04:22,290 --> 00:04:23,924
I'm ricky the raptor,
117
00:04:23,992 --> 00:04:26,226
Here to tell you
about the rapture!
118
00:04:26,294 --> 00:04:29,763
The rapture is the beginning
of the end of the world.
119
00:04:29,831 --> 00:04:31,665
It starts with all
true christians
120
00:04:31,733 --> 00:04:33,467
Floating up to heaven.
121
00:04:33,535 --> 00:04:35,836
What about the sinners
that are left behind?
122
00:04:35,904 --> 00:04:37,404
Well, jojo,
123
00:04:37,472 --> 00:04:40,941
They get to witness
the second coming of jesus.
124
00:04:41,009 --> 00:04:42,476
¶ ¶
125
00:04:42,544 --> 00:04:44,378
Jesus is coming back?
126
00:04:44,446 --> 00:04:45,979
Did he forget
something?
127
00:04:46,047 --> 00:04:48,315
Nope, jesus
is coming back
128
00:04:48,383 --> 00:04:50,384
For armageddon!
129
00:04:50,452 --> 00:04:53,353
(explosion)
130
00:04:53,421 --> 00:04:54,955
(yowling)
131
00:04:55,023 --> 00:04:57,958
A seven-year war
where jesus and his angels
132
00:04:58,026 --> 00:05:01,361
Will battle demon soldiers
of the underworld!
133
00:05:01,429 --> 00:05:04,498
All leading up
to a final showdown
134
00:05:04,566 --> 00:05:06,533
Between jesus and
the antichrist!
135
00:05:06,601 --> 00:05:07,868
Jojo:
Antichrist?
136
00:05:07,936 --> 00:05:09,970
You mean that
green stuff
137
00:05:10,038 --> 00:05:12,005
That your daddy
puts in the car?
138
00:05:12,073 --> 00:05:15,909
(laughs):
No, silly,
that's antifreeze!
139
00:05:15,977 --> 00:05:18,679
The antichrist is
the son of satan!
140
00:05:18,747 --> 00:05:20,547
Well, who's
gonna win?!
141
00:05:20,615 --> 00:05:22,316
I don't know,
142
00:05:22,383 --> 00:05:25,853
But you sure don't want
to be around to find out!
143
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,355
(roaring)
144
00:05:28,423 --> 00:05:30,257
Kid:
A christian kids production!
145
00:05:30,325 --> 00:05:33,594
Stay cool!
146
00:05:33,661 --> 00:05:37,798
Hello? Yes, I need to charter
a helicopter asap!
147
00:05:37,866 --> 00:05:40,601
Uh, just about a mile up, and
then I'll grab on to someone.
148
00:05:40,668 --> 00:05:43,137
I can't imagine john goodman's
that high up yet.
149
00:05:43,204 --> 00:05:45,606
¶ ¶
150
00:05:45,673 --> 00:05:47,307
Okay, steve and
hayley smith,
151
00:05:47,375 --> 00:05:48,709
Your personal heavens
are ready.
152
00:05:48,777 --> 00:05:50,144
Personal heavens?
153
00:05:50,211 --> 00:05:53,514
Yeah, every saved soul gets
a personalized paradise
154
00:05:53,581 --> 00:05:55,449
Suited to their
individual tastes.
155
00:05:55,517 --> 00:05:57,484
Here you are, steve.
156
00:05:57,552 --> 00:05:59,386
Wait, there are
so many doors.
157
00:05:59,454 --> 00:06:01,288
How can you be sure
this is my heaven?
158
00:06:01,356 --> 00:06:03,190
(horse neighing)
159
00:06:07,362 --> 00:06:09,363
Pepper jack cheese.
160
00:06:09,430 --> 00:06:11,231
(chuckles):
It's my heaven.
161
00:06:12,834 --> 00:06:14,268
¶ ¶
162
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,008
Authorities confirm the total
number of raptured
163
00:06:21,075 --> 00:06:22,943
At 142 million.
164
00:06:23,011 --> 00:06:24,845
You may notice my partner greg
isn't here.
165
00:06:24,913 --> 00:06:26,613
That's because he was raptured.
166
00:06:26,681 --> 00:06:29,616
Apparently god does love gays,
but only if they're tops.
167
00:06:29,684 --> 00:06:31,618
Well, if we're going
to be left behind,
168
00:06:31,686 --> 00:06:34,454
At least we're left
behind together.
169
00:06:34,522 --> 00:06:36,456
Yeah.
170
00:06:36,524 --> 00:06:37,958
What the hell,
francine?!
171
00:06:38,026 --> 00:06:39,626
I'm trying to rebuild
my spaceship
172
00:06:39,694 --> 00:06:41,061
So I can get off
this planet,
173
00:06:41,129 --> 00:06:42,529
But all my boxes
of spare parts
174
00:06:42,597 --> 00:06:44,431
Are full of hard rock café
sweatshirts!
175
00:06:44,499 --> 00:06:46,433
Oops. There must have
been a mix-up
176
00:06:46,501 --> 00:06:47,835
When I gave stuff
to goodwill.
177
00:06:47,902 --> 00:06:50,103
Oh, okay, well as long
as there's a good explanation!
178
00:06:50,171 --> 00:06:51,839
Didn't you hear
the puppets?!
(gagging)
179
00:06:51,906 --> 00:06:54,074
Demons are coming
to rape our skulls!
180
00:06:54,142 --> 00:06:55,409
Breaking news!
181
00:06:55,476 --> 00:06:57,511
The second coming
of jesus is here!
182
00:06:57,579 --> 00:06:59,613
Francine, shh!
I want to hear this!
183
00:06:59,681 --> 00:07:02,316
That's right, jesus has
returned to earth
184
00:07:02,383 --> 00:07:04,384
And tonight he'll be at the
langley falls civic arena
185
00:07:04,452 --> 00:07:05,786
Where he'll brief mankind
186
00:07:05,854 --> 00:07:07,621
On his upcoming battle
with the antichrist.
187
00:07:07,689 --> 00:07:08,822
That's it!
188
00:07:08,890 --> 00:07:10,123
We'll just go to jesus
189
00:07:10,191 --> 00:07:11,959
And explain there
was a mistake!
190
00:07:12,026 --> 00:07:14,761
(crowd cheering)
191
00:07:14,829 --> 00:07:16,797
Okay, the coast is clear.
192
00:07:17,999 --> 00:07:20,033
Yes?
193
00:07:20,101 --> 00:07:21,268
(whispering):
Stan.
194
00:07:21,336 --> 00:07:23,203
Oh, it's me, stan smith!
195
00:07:23,271 --> 00:07:25,472
I was supposed to be raptured
but there was a mistake!
196
00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:28,775
I'm sorry, stan,
but what's done is done.
197
00:07:28,843 --> 00:07:30,043
Wait!
198
00:07:30,111 --> 00:07:31,612
I know what this is about.
199
00:07:31,679 --> 00:07:33,513
It's because of the sex
in church, isn't it?
200
00:07:33,581 --> 00:07:35,515
Look, I didn't want to do it.
She seduced me!
201
00:07:35,583 --> 00:07:37,184
What?!
Please, jesus,
202
00:07:37,252 --> 00:07:40,053
Don't let her moral failings
screw me out of paradise!
203
00:07:40,121 --> 00:07:41,822
Moral failings?
204
00:07:41,890 --> 00:07:43,891
You think you're
better than me?
205
00:07:43,958 --> 00:07:46,960
Stan...
You're right.
What?
206
00:07:47,028 --> 00:07:48,929
That's why I'm going
to rapture him.
207
00:07:48,997 --> 00:07:49,963
Really?!
208
00:07:50,031 --> 00:07:51,965
Oh, jesus, you are the best!
209
00:07:52,033 --> 00:07:53,200
Later world!
210
00:07:53,268 --> 00:07:55,102
Smell my ass!
211
00:07:55,169 --> 00:07:57,504
Wait, you're just going
to abandon me here
212
00:07:57,572 --> 00:07:59,539
During armageddon?!
213
00:07:59,607 --> 00:08:00,807
Okay, look.
214
00:08:00,875 --> 00:08:02,676
I'll go up to heaven
and get a hand stamp.
215
00:08:02,744 --> 00:08:04,945
I'll come out, lick it and
press it against your hand.
216
00:08:05,013 --> 00:08:07,781
Boom, you're in, just like
that time at cabo wabo.
217
00:08:07,849 --> 00:08:08,982
Oh, wait,
that didn't work.
218
00:08:09,050 --> 00:08:10,717
You had to sit in the bus
all night.
219
00:08:10,785 --> 00:08:12,719
Ah, it'll work
this time.
No, stan.
220
00:08:12,787 --> 00:08:14,688
I wouldn't want to
get you in trouble
221
00:08:14,756 --> 00:08:16,690
And drag you
down again.
222
00:08:16,758 --> 00:08:20,027
In fact, you never have to
worry about that again,
223
00:08:20,094 --> 00:08:22,029
Because we're through!
224
00:08:22,096 --> 00:08:23,497
Oh, francine...
225
00:08:23,564 --> 00:08:26,133
No! Stan smith...
226
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:26,833
(ring clinking)
227
00:08:26,901 --> 00:08:29,303
...Go to heaven!
228
00:08:29,370 --> 00:08:31,271
(sign buzzing)
229
00:08:35,576 --> 00:08:37,244
Both:
I'm sorry, go ahead.
230
00:08:37,312 --> 00:08:38,412
(both laugh):
231
00:08:38,479 --> 00:08:40,013
No, no, really.
232
00:08:40,081 --> 00:08:43,083
(laughing)
233
00:08:43,151 --> 00:08:45,452
I normally don't eat here
because of the murders,
234
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,354
But it was right
next to the arena.
235
00:08:47,422 --> 00:08:49,389
(laughing)
236
00:08:49,457 --> 00:08:51,291
(both sigh)
237
00:08:53,761 --> 00:08:57,130
So, you went to the
jesus sermon, too.
238
00:08:57,198 --> 00:08:58,899
Did you go with
your boyfriend?
239
00:08:58,967 --> 00:09:00,634
I don't have a boyfriend.
240
00:09:00,702 --> 00:09:03,236
I had a husband,
but it's over.
241
00:09:03,304 --> 00:09:05,472
He... Left me.
242
00:09:05,540 --> 00:09:09,876
Well, I hope whatever
he left a woman like
you for is worth it.
243
00:09:11,179 --> 00:09:12,980
Okay, right here,
this is good.
244
00:09:13,047 --> 00:09:14,481
All right, jesus.
245
00:09:14,549 --> 00:09:16,316
Rapture me!
246
00:09:16,384 --> 00:09:18,285
Take off your clothes.
247
00:09:18,353 --> 00:09:21,088
Oh. I thought they
came off magically.
248
00:09:28,896 --> 00:09:31,665
You're not really
jesus, are you?
249
00:09:34,369 --> 00:09:35,669
Hi, goodwill?
250
00:09:35,737 --> 00:09:37,604
Yeah, I'm calling again
about my spaceship parts.
251
00:09:37,672 --> 00:09:39,506
Well, damn it, look again!
252
00:09:41,309 --> 00:09:43,276
Oh, hey, honey!
Good news!
253
00:09:43,344 --> 00:09:44,911
I told jesus not
to rapture me,
254
00:09:44,979 --> 00:09:47,280
Because I couldn't bear
to leave you behind.
255
00:09:47,348 --> 00:09:49,282
Nice try.
256
00:09:49,350 --> 00:09:50,684
You didn't get raptured
257
00:09:50,752 --> 00:09:52,619
Because that wasn't
the real jesus.
258
00:09:52,687 --> 00:09:54,187
It was just some phony
259
00:09:54,255 --> 00:09:56,823
Trying to take advantage
of desperate fools.
260
00:09:56,891 --> 00:09:58,825
(laughing):
Wha-wha-what?!
261
00:09:58,893 --> 00:10:01,528
Oh, next you'll say I let
him bend me over a dumpster
262
00:10:01,596 --> 00:10:02,763
Before I came
to my senses!
263
00:10:02,830 --> 00:10:04,297
You're too much, lady!
264
00:10:04,365 --> 00:10:07,234
I know, because
I found jesus, stan.
265
00:10:07,301 --> 00:10:09,636
The real jesus.
266
00:10:12,907 --> 00:10:19,046
¶ he turned water into fiiine! ¶
267
00:10:19,113 --> 00:10:22,015
You're...
The real jesus.
268
00:10:22,083 --> 00:10:23,417
Hi, stan.
269
00:10:23,484 --> 00:10:25,352
Jesus is back to spend
the next seven years
270
00:10:25,420 --> 00:10:27,287
Fighting the antichrist,
271
00:10:27,355 --> 00:10:29,156
And he asked me to
be his girlfriend.
272
00:10:29,223 --> 00:10:31,191
He can date this time.
273
00:10:31,259 --> 00:10:33,026
Can you believe it?
274
00:10:33,094 --> 00:10:35,962
Jesus thinks I'm good
enough for him.
275
00:10:36,030 --> 00:10:37,297
Good-bye, stan.
276
00:10:37,365 --> 00:10:39,232
Have a nice armageddon.
277
00:10:41,602 --> 00:10:43,670
(gasps)
278
00:10:43,738 --> 00:10:46,473
I dropped my meatball
in the pool.
279
00:11:27,766 --> 00:11:29,633
Hello, stan.
280
00:11:32,103 --> 00:11:33,704
Well, well.
281
00:11:33,772 --> 00:11:36,106
What brings you to new denver,
commander jesus?
282
00:11:36,174 --> 00:11:38,041
Here on christmas vacation?
283
00:11:38,109 --> 00:11:39,243
That reminds me.
284
00:11:39,310 --> 00:11:41,044
I got you a birthday present.
285
00:11:45,016 --> 00:11:46,183
Ow!
286
00:11:46,251 --> 00:11:48,252
My other cheek!
287
00:11:48,319 --> 00:11:49,820
I need a job done,
288
00:11:49,888 --> 00:11:52,089
And you're the only
man who can do it.
289
00:11:52,157 --> 00:11:53,524
Forget it, nazarene.
290
00:11:53,591 --> 00:11:57,194
I stopped doing things for you
the day you stole my woman.
291
00:11:57,262 --> 00:11:58,762
Well, that's
just it, stan.
292
00:11:58,830 --> 00:12:00,631
Francine.
293
00:12:00,698 --> 00:12:02,466
The anti-christ
got her.
294
00:12:03,668 --> 00:12:05,502
(crow cawing)
295
00:12:14,479 --> 00:12:16,280
I don't know how
he got to her.
296
00:12:16,347 --> 00:12:18,148
It means
I can't trust anyone.
297
00:12:18,216 --> 00:12:19,449
Not even my generals.
298
00:12:19,517 --> 00:12:21,585
What makes you think
you can trust me?
299
00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:23,887
Because I know you've fought
against his kind.
300
00:12:23,955 --> 00:12:26,089
I fight for anyone who pays me.
301
00:12:26,157 --> 00:12:28,258
I also know you still love her.
302
00:12:28,326 --> 00:12:30,160
(scoffs)
303
00:12:31,696 --> 00:12:33,096
I'll do it.
304
00:12:33,164 --> 00:12:35,265
But not because of her.
305
00:12:35,333 --> 00:12:38,068
If I help you, you rapture me
off this you-forsaken rock.
306
00:12:38,136 --> 00:12:39,336
Deal?
307
00:12:40,972 --> 00:12:42,773
(engine revving)
308
00:12:51,349 --> 00:12:52,749
Anyone you knew?
309
00:12:52,817 --> 00:12:53,951
Yeah.
310
00:12:54,018 --> 00:12:55,719
He was my father's jester.
311
00:12:55,787 --> 00:12:57,521
Really funny dude.
312
00:12:57,589 --> 00:12:59,122
(shrieking)
313
00:12:59,190 --> 00:13:00,257
It's a trap!
314
00:13:00,325 --> 00:13:02,826
(screeching)
315
00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:06,363
(shrieks)
316
00:13:09,234 --> 00:13:11,869
(screams)
317
00:13:11,936 --> 00:13:13,837
(gasping groan)
318
00:13:15,940 --> 00:13:17,574
The open road is
too dangerous.
319
00:13:17,642 --> 00:13:19,743
Uh, what if we go
through sector 16?
320
00:13:19,811 --> 00:13:21,178
Sector 16?
321
00:13:21,246 --> 00:13:24,381
The perfect man just proposed
the perfect way to die.
322
00:13:24,449 --> 00:13:26,817
Fine. Then what
about sector 35?
323
00:13:26,885 --> 00:13:30,787
(scoffs)
sector 35 makes sector
16 look like sector 48.
324
00:13:30,855 --> 00:13:32,923
Okay, then what do
you propose we do?
325
00:13:38,029 --> 00:13:40,530
I know someone who
might be able to help.
326
00:13:40,598 --> 00:13:42,132
(mechanical hissing
and whirring)
327
00:13:44,435 --> 00:13:46,136
Okay, qui-lo, hit it!
328
00:13:46,204 --> 00:13:49,206
(high-pitched whirring,
sputtering)
329
00:13:49,274 --> 00:13:51,074
(yells)
damn it!
330
00:13:52,243 --> 00:13:53,610
Wait!
331
00:13:53,678 --> 00:13:55,312
No wonder this isn't working!
332
00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:57,915
The stone waterfall goes
in my career corner,
333
00:13:57,982 --> 00:14:00,083
And the orchid goes
in my wealth corner.
334
00:14:00,151 --> 00:14:01,451
(speaking foreign language)
335
00:14:01,519 --> 00:14:03,453
(both speaking
foreign language)
336
00:14:05,957 --> 00:14:07,391
Stan:
Lovers' quarrel?
337
00:14:07,458 --> 00:14:09,026
Well, well.
338
00:14:09,093 --> 00:14:11,728
I always knew you'd breeze back
through my door.
339
00:14:11,796 --> 00:14:13,864
Roger,
meet jesus.
340
00:14:13,932 --> 00:14:15,966
Ah, an alien.
341
00:14:16,034 --> 00:14:17,901
One of my father's
side projects.
342
00:14:17,969 --> 00:14:19,069
You'd better watch
your mouth!
343
00:14:19,137 --> 00:14:20,103
(grunting)
344
00:14:20,171 --> 00:14:21,505
Whoa, whoa.
345
00:14:21,572 --> 00:14:22,739
We need
to book passage
346
00:14:22,807 --> 00:14:24,408
On your ship
to the far outlands.
347
00:14:24,475 --> 00:14:25,809
Good luck.
348
00:14:25,877 --> 00:14:28,111
The ship's subfusion engines run
on precious metals
349
00:14:28,179 --> 00:14:29,479
And crystallined minerals.
350
00:14:29,547 --> 00:14:31,949
So unless you can poop out
gem-encrusted gold,
351
00:14:32,016 --> 00:14:33,317
You're out of luck.
352
00:14:33,384 --> 00:14:36,053
When my army laid siege
353
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,056
At the battle of boca raton,
they found this.
354
00:14:55,306 --> 00:14:57,774
(screaming)
355
00:14:57,842 --> 00:15:00,644
Okay, I'll drop you off at
the lair of the anti-christ,
356
00:15:00,712 --> 00:15:02,612
And then armageddon
out of here!
357
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:04,614
(laughs)
358
00:15:04,682 --> 00:15:05,949
Oh, that's good.
359
00:15:06,017 --> 00:15:07,451
I got to write
that one down.
360
00:15:07,518 --> 00:15:10,153
(all yelling)
361
00:15:15,193 --> 00:15:16,393
(beeps)
362
00:15:16,461 --> 00:15:18,061
Come on, start!
363
00:15:18,129 --> 00:15:19,863
Thanks for the ride,
otherworlder.
364
00:15:19,931 --> 00:15:21,064
Wait! Jesus!
365
00:15:21,132 --> 00:15:22,299
I'm still stuck here!
366
00:15:22,367 --> 00:15:24,668
Can't you just send me
to heaven?!
367
00:15:24,736 --> 00:15:25,936
I can't do that.
368
00:15:26,004 --> 00:15:27,871
But I can offer you
something else.
369
00:15:27,939 --> 00:15:29,473
After I defeat
the anti-christ,
370
00:15:29,540 --> 00:15:32,175
I'm to begin the long road
of rebuilding civilization.
371
00:15:32,243 --> 00:15:35,946
It's going to be a lot of work,
and I could use your help.
372
00:15:36,014 --> 00:15:38,115
That's okay.
373
00:15:38,182 --> 00:15:41,018
(anomalous beeps)
374
00:15:43,621 --> 00:15:44,788
(elevator bell dings)
375
00:15:56,367 --> 00:15:59,069
By the way, what does the
anti-christ look like?
376
00:15:59,137 --> 00:16:02,539
Believe me, you'll know him
when you see him.
377
00:16:02,607 --> 00:16:03,774
(elevator bell dings)
378
00:16:08,780 --> 00:16:09,813
Oh!
379
00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:11,681
What did you do that for?!
380
00:16:11,749 --> 00:16:13,050
That was the anti-christ!
381
00:16:13,117 --> 00:16:15,685
No! There's a prep school
two blocks away.
382
00:16:15,753 --> 00:16:18,321
Sometimes the kids
come in here and play.
383
00:16:18,389 --> 00:16:20,724
Then I guess
I just picked a whole bouquet
384
00:16:20,792 --> 00:16:22,659
Of oopsie-daisies.
385
00:16:31,135 --> 00:16:33,336
(chuffing)
386
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:39,176
This is it, the lair
of the anti-christ,
387
00:16:39,243 --> 00:16:42,312
Where everything's
anti-me.
388
00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:45,248
(muffled cries)
389
00:16:45,316 --> 00:16:46,483
Francine!
390
00:16:46,551 --> 00:16:48,552
(muffled protests)
391
00:16:48,619 --> 00:16:50,887
Kneel before
the lord, punk.
392
00:16:56,794 --> 00:16:58,462
(sighs)
393
00:16:58,529 --> 00:16:59,963
Oh, stan!
394
00:17:00,031 --> 00:17:01,698
Don't get any
ideas, doll.
395
00:17:01,766 --> 00:17:03,300
I'm just in this
for the rapture.
396
00:17:03,367 --> 00:17:04,601
Right.
397
00:17:04,669 --> 00:17:06,570
The only thing
you ever cared about.
398
00:17:09,173 --> 00:17:11,108
Hello, darling.
399
00:17:11,175 --> 00:17:13,043
Leave the heartwarming
reunion for later.
400
00:17:14,679 --> 00:17:16,346
Man:
Sorry, do-gooders!
401
00:17:16,414 --> 00:17:18,014
(cackling)
402
00:17:18,082 --> 00:17:19,649
The anti-christ!
403
00:17:19,717 --> 00:17:21,885
Condemn them, mother,
404
00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:24,921
For they know exactly
what they do!
405
00:17:27,091 --> 00:17:28,925
Uh, I'm-I'm sorry.
406
00:17:28,993 --> 00:17:30,327
What-what does
that mean?
407
00:17:30,394 --> 00:17:32,295
You know,
it's the opposite of,
408
00:17:32,363 --> 00:17:36,032
"forgive them, father,
for they know not what they do."
409
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:37,567
Hello?!
410
00:17:37,635 --> 00:17:38,969
I'm the anti-christ.
411
00:17:39,036 --> 00:17:41,705
I'm the opposite
of jesus in every way!
412
00:17:41,772 --> 00:17:42,973
(laughs)
413
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:44,608
Anti, get us out
of this thing!
414
00:17:44,675 --> 00:17:45,775
(deep rumbling)
415
00:17:45,843 --> 00:17:47,511
Well, jesus,
416
00:17:47,578 --> 00:17:49,446
You can walk
on water, eh?!
417
00:17:49,514 --> 00:17:52,048
Let's see if you
can swim in land!
418
00:17:52,116 --> 00:17:54,417
(cackling)
419
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:57,954
(screaming)
420
00:18:02,026 --> 00:18:03,593
Huh?
421
00:18:03,661 --> 00:18:05,128
I built that! See?!
422
00:18:05,196 --> 00:18:06,463
You were
a carpenter!
423
00:18:06,531 --> 00:18:08,365
I'm not handy
at all!
424
00:18:08,432 --> 00:18:10,634
(cackling)
425
00:18:12,270 --> 00:18:14,905
We're pinned down!
426
00:18:19,911 --> 00:18:21,811
(grunting)
427
00:18:21,879 --> 00:18:23,980
It's raining
wise men.
428
00:18:24,048 --> 00:18:25,615
Hallelujah.
429
00:18:25,683 --> 00:18:26,783
(laughs)
430
00:18:32,657 --> 00:18:34,424
(grunting and choking)
431
00:18:34,492 --> 00:18:36,393
(yelling)
432
00:18:38,029 --> 00:18:39,596
You should have known, anti.
433
00:18:39,664 --> 00:18:41,598
With me...
434
00:18:41,666 --> 00:18:43,500
The thighs the limit.
435
00:18:45,836 --> 00:18:48,038
(weak laugh)
funny.
436
00:18:48,105 --> 00:18:50,006
Stan, what are you doing?
(beeping)
437
00:18:50,074 --> 00:18:51,341
In one minute,
438
00:18:51,409 --> 00:18:54,144
This place is gonna be
blown to kingdom come.
439
00:18:54,212 --> 00:18:57,781
Thou shalt not not kill!
440
00:19:00,318 --> 00:19:01,151
(grunts)
441
00:19:02,353 --> 00:19:03,386
(screams)
442
00:19:04,555 --> 00:19:05,322
(grunts)
443
00:19:05,389 --> 00:19:08,525
(shrieks)
444
00:19:08,593 --> 00:19:10,727
Later world!
445
00:19:10,795 --> 00:19:12,329
Smell my ass!
446
00:19:12,396 --> 00:19:14,598
(gasping groan)
447
00:19:14,665 --> 00:19:15,932
Stan!
448
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,300
Why, stan?
449
00:19:17,368 --> 00:19:19,336
Why did you take
the bullet for me?
450
00:19:19,403 --> 00:19:21,805
For the same
reason I came here.
451
00:19:21,872 --> 00:19:23,273
For her.
452
00:19:25,409 --> 00:19:27,544
Francine,
I was wrong
453
00:19:27,612 --> 00:19:29,813
To ever think I was
better than you.
454
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,916
I wish I could go back
and change the man I was.
455
00:19:32,984 --> 00:19:35,619
You're the best, so
you deserve the best.
456
00:19:35,686 --> 00:19:38,655
You deserve...
Fancy feast.
457
00:19:38,723 --> 00:19:39,856
What?
458
00:19:39,924 --> 00:19:41,091
Sorry. I mean jesus.
459
00:19:41,158 --> 00:19:42,325
You deserve jesus.
460
00:19:42,393 --> 00:19:43,727
I'm kind of
bleeding out here.
461
00:19:43,794 --> 00:19:45,362
Here, let me help you.
462
00:19:46,897 --> 00:19:49,165
Our wedding rings.
463
00:19:49,233 --> 00:19:50,166
Now go!
464
00:19:50,234 --> 00:19:51,401
Both of you!
465
00:19:51,469 --> 00:19:52,669
This place is
gonna blow!
466
00:19:52,737 --> 00:19:53,937
No, stan!
467
00:19:54,005 --> 00:19:55,305
I can't leave you behind!
468
00:19:55,373 --> 00:19:56,906
I know you can't.
469
00:19:58,276 --> 00:19:59,476
Get her out
of here!
470
00:19:59,543 --> 00:20:01,278
Stan, at least
let me rapture you.
471
00:20:01,345 --> 00:20:02,579
There's no time!
472
00:20:02,647 --> 00:20:03,880
The spell takes
too long!
473
00:20:03,948 --> 00:20:05,782
He's right.
Go!
474
00:20:05,850 --> 00:20:07,717
Mm.
475
00:20:09,887 --> 00:20:11,721
(sobbing)
476
00:20:13,157 --> 00:20:14,991
(beeping)
477
00:20:21,999 --> 00:20:24,901
Merry christmas,
mr. And mrs. Jesus.
478
00:20:24,969 --> 00:20:26,836
(rapid beeping)
479
00:20:28,272 --> 00:20:30,106
(explosion)
480
00:20:33,778 --> 00:20:36,413
Well, here we are.
481
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:39,949
I always imagined I'd spend
eternity with francine.
482
00:20:40,017 --> 00:20:42,018
Stan, this is
your personal heaven.
483
00:20:42,086 --> 00:20:45,221
It is what your heart
most desires.
484
00:20:47,792 --> 00:20:48,925
(rumbling)
485
00:20:48,993 --> 00:20:50,293
(bells jingling)
486
00:20:50,361 --> 00:20:52,529
Honey, I'm wearing
my new dress.
487
00:20:52,596 --> 00:20:54,130
How do I look?
488
00:20:54,198 --> 00:20:57,801
Definitely not
like a whore, baby.
489
00:20:57,868 --> 00:20:59,169
Definitely not
like a whore.
490
00:20:59,236 --> 00:21:01,604
Oh, stan.
491
00:21:01,672 --> 00:21:06,409
¶ joy to the world,
the lord is come... ¶
492
00:21:06,477 --> 00:21:10,080
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com