1
00:00:01,491 --> 00:00:02,925
(upbeat March plays)
2
00:00:02,993 --> 00:00:05,761
¶ good morning, usa! ¶
3
00:00:05,829 --> 00:00:09,098
¶ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ¶
4
00:00:09,366 --> 00:00:12,335
¶ the sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ¶
5
00:00:12,403 --> 00:00:16,506
¶ and he's shining a salute
to the american race ¶
6
00:00:18,675 --> 00:00:21,944
¶ oh, boy,
it's swell to say... ¶
7
00:00:22,012 --> 00:00:24,013
¶ good morning, usa! ¶
8
00:00:24,081 --> 00:00:25,615
Ah!
9
00:00:25,682 --> 00:00:33,485
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
10
00:00:33,757 --> 00:00:35,291
I have an announcement
to make.
11
00:00:35,359 --> 00:00:36,459
I'm taking a
semester off.
12
00:00:38,395 --> 00:00:39,662
Oh, what did you say?
13
00:00:39,730 --> 00:00:41,998
I was listening to my spit-take
instructional tape.
14
00:00:42,066 --> 00:00:44,700
I'm taking a semester
off from school.
15
00:00:44,768 --> 00:00:46,602
I can't do it
without the tape.
16
00:00:46,670 --> 00:00:47,904
I hesitated.
17
00:00:47,971 --> 00:00:49,505
I'm just,
I'm thinking too much.
18
00:00:49,573 --> 00:00:50,907
Hayley, what are you
talking about?
19
00:00:50,974 --> 00:00:53,609
I'm going to devote my time
to the heifer project.
20
00:00:53,677 --> 00:00:56,212
(gasps) no daughter of mine
is going into fatty porn!
21
00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:59,382
The heifer project is a charity
that provides livestock
22
00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:01,117
To families
in impoverished countries.
23
00:01:01,185 --> 00:01:02,985
So what, you're going over
to africa?
24
00:01:03,053 --> 00:01:04,720
No, I'm going to start
my own business
25
00:01:04,788 --> 00:01:06,389
And give the heifer project
the proceeds.
26
00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:08,191
I know the perfect business
for you to open up!
27
00:01:08,258 --> 00:01:09,559
A dry cleaners!
28
00:01:09,626 --> 00:01:11,394
There's a huge segment
of the population
29
00:01:11,462 --> 00:01:13,896
That is tired of having their
clothes cleaned by koreans.
30
00:01:13,964 --> 00:01:15,665
I am a part of that segment.
31
00:01:15,732 --> 00:01:17,500
Actually, I already have
a business idea--
32
00:01:17,568 --> 00:01:18,868
Organic mulch.
33
00:01:18,936 --> 00:01:20,403
Ugh, that's a terrible idea.
34
00:01:20,471 --> 00:01:21,404
Hayley, listen to me.
35
00:01:21,472 --> 00:01:22,672
I'm giving you good advice.
36
00:01:22,739 --> 00:01:24,707
Take it.
Dad, I'm 18,
37
00:01:24,775 --> 00:01:27,076
I don't need your
advice anymore.
38
00:01:28,312 --> 00:01:30,480
Roger:
I'll take your advice.
39
00:01:30,547 --> 00:01:32,782
If it's love advice.
40
00:01:32,850 --> 00:01:35,485
So, my man say he been workin'
late, but then trina call me
41
00:01:35,552 --> 00:01:37,653
And tell me she seen
his ass in the club!
42
00:01:37,721 --> 00:01:39,822
But then when I ask him
about this nonsense,
43
00:01:39,890 --> 00:01:41,524
He tell me he loves me.
44
00:01:41,592 --> 00:01:43,392
How do I make him
tell me the truth,
45
00:01:43,460 --> 00:01:46,028
But keep our love
million-dollar strong?
46
00:01:51,235 --> 00:01:53,436
Smith, why so glum?
47
00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:56,973
The "c" in cia doesn't stand
for "crestfallen."
48
00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,542
But what if
it stood for "cat?"
49
00:02:08,051 --> 00:02:09,452
Hmm.
50
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:10,753
So what's bothering you?
51
00:02:10,821 --> 00:02:12,922
Hayley doesn't want
my advice anymore.
52
00:02:12,990 --> 00:02:14,190
Sir, I have terrible news!
53
00:02:14,258 --> 00:02:16,025
I was just doing the
end-of-the-year accounting.
54
00:02:16,093 --> 00:02:17,760
We still have money
left in our budget.
55
00:02:17,828 --> 00:02:20,329
If we don't spend it by the
end of the fiscal year,
56
00:02:20,397 --> 00:02:22,064
They'll cut our budget
for next year!
57
00:02:22,132 --> 00:02:24,567
Damn it, robertson,
speak to me in english.
58
00:02:24,635 --> 00:02:26,969
We have to spend $50,000
by midnight!
59
00:02:27,037 --> 00:02:28,971
Get me everyone.
60
00:02:29,039 --> 00:02:30,473
Everyone?
Everyone!
61
00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:32,808
That's not really my job.
62
00:02:36,446 --> 00:02:38,447
You're right,
it's not your job.
63
00:02:38,515 --> 00:02:41,851
Inform lorraine, have
her send a mass e-mail.
64
00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:44,020
Now, give me a hug.
65
00:02:44,087 --> 00:02:46,222
You scared me.
66
00:02:46,290 --> 00:02:49,025
(bullock hums
a soothing tune)
67
00:02:49,092 --> 00:02:51,360
We're okay.
68
00:02:51,428 --> 00:02:53,062
(continues humming)
69
00:02:59,403 --> 00:03:02,872
Gentlemen, do whatever it takes
to empty our coffers:
70
00:03:02,940 --> 00:03:05,875
Lap dances, champagne dances,
shower dances.
71
00:03:05,943 --> 00:03:08,778
Oh, the things you can buy
with a handful of bills.
72
00:03:08,845 --> 00:03:11,814
It makes me excited,
it gives me the chills!
73
00:03:11,882 --> 00:03:15,017
There'll be filch-arounds,
breeders, hambones and tweeners,
74
00:03:15,085 --> 00:03:17,887
Zobos and debos
and blorps that go eener.
75
00:03:17,955 --> 00:03:20,489
For a one dollar bill you can
pull down their zippers.
76
00:03:20,557 --> 00:03:24,293
I am the snorax,
I speak for the strippers!
77
00:03:25,562 --> 00:03:26,829
Sir.
Hmm?
78
00:03:26,897 --> 00:03:29,131
Sir, this place is filled
with women of ill-repute.
79
00:03:29,199 --> 00:03:30,433
I'm a little uncomfortable.
80
00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:31,834
Damn it, smith,
you think I'm not?!
81
00:03:31,902 --> 00:03:34,103
I'm terrified!
82
00:03:34,171 --> 00:03:37,740
Give this man your finest
trouser arouser.
83
00:03:37,808 --> 00:03:41,043
And you, strangle me
while I brush your hair.
84
00:03:44,681 --> 00:03:45,815
I did it!
85
00:03:45,882 --> 00:03:47,717
I got into space camp!
86
00:03:47,784 --> 00:03:50,186
Seven days of awesomeness
starts tomorrow.
87
00:03:50,254 --> 00:03:51,721
Wow, I wanna go.
88
00:03:51,788 --> 00:03:52,955
Sorry, "roget."
89
00:03:53,023 --> 00:03:54,523
Space camp is
a special privilege
90
00:03:54,591 --> 00:03:56,325
For a select group.
91
00:03:56,393 --> 00:03:57,693
You wouldn't fit in.
92
00:03:57,761 --> 00:03:59,829
Wha-- but it's about space!
93
00:03:59,896 --> 00:04:01,097
I'm from there!
94
00:04:01,164 --> 00:04:02,798
Maybe, but you
weren't invited.
95
00:04:02,866 --> 00:04:06,269
Only a chosen few get to
rub elbows with astronauts
96
00:04:06,336 --> 00:04:08,604
And float weightless in
billion-dollar simulators.
97
00:04:08,672 --> 00:04:10,039
Maybe you should
go to fat camp.
98
00:04:10,107 --> 00:04:11,574
Damn!
99
00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:13,909
Because you're taking up
so much space right now.
100
00:04:13,977 --> 00:04:15,611
Oh, damn!
(laughing)
101
00:04:15,679 --> 00:04:18,748
Look, just forget it and go
back to surgery or whatever.
102
00:04:18,815 --> 00:04:21,050
But I want
to go to space camp!
103
00:04:21,118 --> 00:04:22,685
I'm done with surgery!
104
00:04:22,753 --> 00:04:24,053
I already lost the patient.
105
00:04:26,590 --> 00:04:28,891
Roger:
You know, the thing about
working in a hospital
106
00:04:28,959 --> 00:04:30,760
Is if you don't have
a funny black friend,
107
00:04:30,827 --> 00:04:31,961
Things get pretty boring.
108
00:04:32,029 --> 00:04:33,396
Vanilla bear!
109
00:04:33,463 --> 00:04:35,264
Let's go grab a beer
and see what carla
110
00:04:35,332 --> 00:04:36,632
And the mean janitor
are doing!
111
00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:38,734
(screaming)
take whatever you want!
112
00:04:41,405 --> 00:04:44,674
(rhythmic music playing,
men whooping)
113
00:04:44,741 --> 00:04:46,842
(laughing)
yeah!
114
00:04:46,910 --> 00:04:48,277
Ho-ho!
115
00:04:51,081 --> 00:04:52,782
Is everything okay?
116
00:04:52,849 --> 00:04:54,617
Um, this isn't really my thing.
117
00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:57,353
Maybe this is your thing.
118
00:04:57,421 --> 00:04:59,288
Oh, god! Leg cramp!
119
00:04:59,356 --> 00:05:00,423
Are you all right?
120
00:05:00,490 --> 00:05:01,857
I'm still sexy!
121
00:05:01,925 --> 00:05:03,526
I'm still sexy
for you, baby!
122
00:05:03,593 --> 00:05:04,660
Cramp, huh?
123
00:05:04,728 --> 00:05:06,195
You need to get
a banana in you.
124
00:05:06,263 --> 00:05:08,464
Uh, I don't do that, sir.
125
00:05:08,532 --> 00:05:09,932
No, you need
to eat a banana.
126
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,334
You have a
potassium deficiency.
127
00:05:11,401 --> 00:05:14,236
Hey, shirley,
banana daiquiri, please.
128
00:05:14,304 --> 00:05:16,439
Wow, you listened to me.
129
00:05:16,506 --> 00:05:18,474
Sure, you seem like
you know a thing or two.
130
00:05:18,542 --> 00:05:19,575
You're right.
131
00:05:19,643 --> 00:05:20,676
I do know a thing or two.
132
00:05:20,744 --> 00:05:21,811
I'm stan.
133
00:05:21,878 --> 00:05:23,145
I'm tanqueray.
134
00:05:23,213 --> 00:05:24,714
Tanqueray, let me
break it down for you.
135
00:05:24,781 --> 00:05:26,949
Exposing your body
for money is wrong.
136
00:05:27,017 --> 00:05:29,251
The only people who should
see you naked are your mother,
137
00:05:29,319 --> 00:05:31,320
Your doctor and your
best friend in third grade.
138
00:05:31,388 --> 00:05:33,923
Just that one time,
under the waterfall.
139
00:05:33,990 --> 00:05:35,424
Jeremy davis.
140
00:05:35,492 --> 00:05:37,727
The point is, you could do
so much more with your life.
141
00:05:37,794 --> 00:05:39,028
You really think so?
142
00:05:39,096 --> 00:05:41,497
Take my advice,
you really can.
143
00:05:46,570 --> 00:05:48,170
(gasps)
you were right!
144
00:05:48,238 --> 00:05:50,306
I'm better!
See?
145
00:05:50,374 --> 00:05:52,074
Wish my daughter listened
as well as you do.
146
00:05:52,142 --> 00:05:53,809
If she could just see...
147
00:05:53,877 --> 00:05:56,912
Hey, tanqueray, how would
you like to operate
148
00:05:56,980 --> 00:05:58,247
Your own dry cleaners?
149
00:05:58,315 --> 00:05:59,882
I don't know. Yes?
I don't know.
150
00:05:59,950 --> 00:06:01,217
You know.
151
00:06:01,284 --> 00:06:04,320
Come, take a drive
with a stranger.
152
00:06:04,388 --> 00:06:05,955
(bullock grunting)
153
00:06:06,022 --> 00:06:08,691
(groaning)
154
00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:10,025
More, more!
155
00:06:11,194 --> 00:06:13,462
(grunting, groaning)
156
00:06:13,530 --> 00:06:16,298
Yeah, I so deserve this.
157
00:06:16,366 --> 00:06:18,167
Do it!
158
00:06:18,235 --> 00:06:20,970
(grunting
with each impact)
159
00:06:24,808 --> 00:06:27,476
Hayley, it's impolite
to fiddle with trash.
160
00:06:27,544 --> 00:06:29,044
It's not trash.
161
00:06:29,112 --> 00:06:31,080
I'm collecting organic compounds
for the mulch I'm developing.
162
00:06:31,148 --> 00:06:32,515
Well, good for you.
163
00:06:32,582 --> 00:06:34,483
You don't have to be
such a bitch about it.
164
00:06:34,551 --> 00:06:35,751
(door opens, closes)
165
00:06:35,819 --> 00:06:37,253
What a day.
166
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:38,854
I am pooped.
167
00:06:38,922 --> 00:06:40,256
Stan, who's this?
168
00:06:40,323 --> 00:06:41,457
Oh, right.
169
00:06:41,525 --> 00:06:42,691
Everyone, this is tanqueray.
170
00:06:42,759 --> 00:06:43,726
She's moving in!
171
00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:46,061
I'm gonna make her
a success.
172
00:06:48,331 --> 00:06:50,366
Oh, we're wearing
the same outfit.
173
00:06:50,434 --> 00:06:51,534
Take a good
look, sweetie.
174
00:06:51,601 --> 00:06:53,002
This is how
you wear that.
175
00:06:53,069 --> 00:06:54,403
Yeah!
176
00:06:54,471 --> 00:06:57,039
Nine years of
gymnastics, bitch.
177
00:07:00,155 --> 00:07:02,556
Roger, please show tanqueray
to steve's room.
178
00:07:02,624 --> 00:07:04,325
She'll sleep there
while he's at space camp.
179
00:07:04,392 --> 00:07:05,826
And get her
out of those clothes.
180
00:07:05,894 --> 00:07:07,995
And then rob her, kill her,
cut off her head and hands
181
00:07:08,063 --> 00:07:09,597
And bury her by
the crick-- got it.
182
00:07:09,664 --> 00:07:11,398
Actually, no,
just get her changed.
183
00:07:11,466 --> 00:07:14,101
Oh, we just avoided a
funny misunderstanding.
184
00:07:14,169 --> 00:07:16,136
I almost cut
your hands off!
185
00:07:16,204 --> 00:07:18,038
All right, come on,
I'll race you upstairs.
186
00:07:18,106 --> 00:07:21,008
Stan, what is going on?
187
00:07:21,076 --> 00:07:23,844
Hayley had her chance
to benefit from my
wisdom and guidance.
188
00:07:23,912 --> 00:07:25,913
Now that's all going
to tanqueray.
189
00:07:25,981 --> 00:07:28,115
I'm gonna transform her
from scum of the earth
190
00:07:28,183 --> 00:07:31,018
To captain of industry!
191
00:07:31,086 --> 00:07:33,787
Uh, hey, hayley, can you
come over here a second?
192
00:07:33,855 --> 00:07:35,256
I wanna show you something.
193
00:07:36,691 --> 00:07:39,493
What, uh, what did
hayley's face look like
194
00:07:39,561 --> 00:07:41,061
When I just told her all that?
195
00:07:41,129 --> 00:07:43,030
Is she regretting not
taking my advice yet?
196
00:07:43,098 --> 00:07:44,265
What?
197
00:07:44,332 --> 00:07:45,666
Oh, did I call you over?
198
00:07:45,734 --> 00:07:47,468
I-I meant your mother.
199
00:07:48,637 --> 00:07:50,271
Hey, francine.
200
00:07:50,338 --> 00:07:52,106
Can you, uh,
take a look at this?
201
00:07:57,612 --> 00:07:59,179
The first step
in teaching tanqueray
202
00:07:59,247 --> 00:08:03,017
To run a successful business
is enrolling her in school.
203
00:08:03,084 --> 00:08:04,985
Tanqueray.
204
00:08:05,053 --> 00:08:06,620
Tanqueray, wake up.
205
00:08:06,688 --> 00:08:08,722
Your skanking days are over.
206
00:08:08,790 --> 00:08:11,091
Your new business school
classes start in half an hour.
207
00:08:12,928 --> 00:08:15,663
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
no, no, no, no, no!
208
00:08:15,730 --> 00:08:17,798
Don't ever let me
see you naked, okay?
209
00:08:17,866 --> 00:08:18,866
I'm sorry.
210
00:08:18,934 --> 00:08:19,867
It's all right.
211
00:08:19,935 --> 00:08:21,001
No harm done.
212
00:08:21,069 --> 00:08:22,469
I'm completely fine.
213
00:08:22,537 --> 00:08:24,638
Just meet me in the car
in 15 minutes.
214
00:08:24,706 --> 00:08:27,341
Francine, meet me
in the shower immediately.
215
00:08:32,047 --> 00:08:33,981
(chattering)
216
00:08:34,049 --> 00:08:36,750
(cheering)
217
00:08:38,453 --> 00:08:41,588
Welcome... To a space camp!
218
00:08:41,656 --> 00:08:43,991
You guys are in for a treat,
219
00:08:44,059 --> 00:08:47,027
Because instead of doing our
normal space camp activities,
220
00:08:47,095 --> 00:08:48,896
We'll be spending all week
221
00:08:48,964 --> 00:08:51,565
Meeting nasa's
earthbound heroes:
222
00:08:51,633 --> 00:08:54,335
Our wonderful
administrative support staff!
223
00:08:54,402 --> 00:08:58,439
(light applause)
224
00:08:58,506 --> 00:09:01,475
Uh, but we're still going to be
doing cool space stuff, right?
225
00:09:01,543 --> 00:09:03,510
Like flight simulation,
226
00:09:03,578 --> 00:09:05,713
Or maybe a turn
with that jet pack?
227
00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:07,815
Nope, that was last week
or next week.
228
00:09:07,882 --> 00:09:10,551
Now, put your hands together
229
00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:14,455
For the members of today's
eight-hour panel!
230
00:09:14,522 --> 00:09:19,426
First up, head of human
resources, judith collins!
231
00:09:22,764 --> 00:09:27,968
Next, director of payroll
disbursement, karen snur!
232
00:09:31,773 --> 00:09:34,775
Houston, we don't
have a problem
233
00:09:34,843 --> 00:09:36,944
With any of our
building's paint,
234
00:09:37,012 --> 00:09:39,213
Thanks to acting head
of paint and plaster repair,
235
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:43,083
Art... Fitzgerald-yee!
Art!
236
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:49,356
Keep it going for vice
president of peer mentoring:
237
00:09:49,424 --> 00:09:53,327
Ellen "the duck" ducker.
238
00:09:53,395 --> 00:09:55,562
(quacking)
239
00:09:55,630 --> 00:09:57,364
(laughing)
(quacking)
240
00:10:02,137 --> 00:10:04,805
There's my little
future dry cleaner!
241
00:10:04,873 --> 00:10:06,073
How was your exam today?
242
00:10:06,141 --> 00:10:08,409
It made me sad until
I drew a bird on it.
243
00:10:10,011 --> 00:10:11,445
You didn't turn it in?!
244
00:10:11,513 --> 00:10:12,846
Guess what, you guys?
245
00:10:12,914 --> 00:10:14,681
The city decided
to use my mulch!
246
00:10:14,749 --> 00:10:16,083
They've ordered a hundred bags!
247
00:10:16,151 --> 00:10:18,685
That buys the heifer project
a hen and half a burro.
248
00:10:18,753 --> 00:10:20,821
Congratulations, honey!
249
00:10:20,889 --> 00:10:22,222
How's tanqueray doing?
250
00:10:22,290 --> 00:10:24,258
Is she a dry cleaning mogul?
251
00:10:24,325 --> 00:10:26,226
Is she getting a de-luxe
apartment in the sky?
252
00:10:26,294 --> 00:10:27,694
(chuckling smugly)
253
00:10:27,762 --> 00:10:30,431
I don't know if that's funny
enough for you to leave on!
254
00:10:30,498 --> 00:10:33,767
Stan, why don't you just admit
your plan isn't working?
255
00:10:33,835 --> 00:10:35,869
Hayley's doing
fine on her own.
256
00:10:35,937 --> 00:10:38,772
And tanqueray's obviously
not cut out for school.
257
00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,575
I colored my bird.
258
00:10:41,643 --> 00:10:44,011
You're right, francine.
259
00:10:44,079 --> 00:10:45,746
I'm gonna take her
out of school
260
00:10:45,814 --> 00:10:47,915
And go straight to
phase two of my plan.
261
00:10:47,982 --> 00:10:49,983
Four more strippers!
262
00:10:50,051 --> 00:10:51,552
They're moving in
with tanqueray.
263
00:10:51,619 --> 00:10:54,354
Stan, that's four more
mouths to feed!
264
00:10:54,422 --> 00:10:56,156
And eight more hands to work
265
00:10:56,224 --> 00:10:58,025
The dry cleaning business
I bought this morning.
266
00:10:58,093 --> 00:10:59,193
What?!
Don't worry, honey.
267
00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:00,828
When it takes off,
we'll be rich.
268
00:11:00,895 --> 00:11:03,464
Hayley's gonna be so sorry
she didn't listen to me.
269
00:11:03,531 --> 00:11:05,466
All right, let's get
you ladies settled in.
270
00:11:05,533 --> 00:11:06,967
Now, some ground rules.
271
00:11:07,035 --> 00:11:09,603
All of you are gonna get on
my menstrual cycle,
272
00:11:09,671 --> 00:11:11,538
Which begins next Wednesday.
273
00:11:11,606 --> 00:11:13,841
Anyone on their flow right now?
274
00:11:13,908 --> 00:11:15,209
Stop.
275
00:11:15,276 --> 00:11:19,513
Stop it, okay?
276
00:11:19,581 --> 00:11:20,581
Stop.
277
00:11:22,784 --> 00:11:24,818
This place blows.
278
00:11:24,886 --> 00:11:27,187
I can't believe we're
stuck here all week.
279
00:11:27,255 --> 00:11:29,623
My bed is short
and wide!
280
00:11:29,691 --> 00:11:33,527
You're sleeping
the wrong way!
281
00:11:33,595 --> 00:11:35,729
Hey, it's a message
from home.
282
00:11:35,797 --> 00:11:37,197
"start streaming
this video."
283
00:11:37,265 --> 00:11:40,234
Oh, thank god, some contact
with the outside world!
284
00:11:40,301 --> 00:11:42,803
¶ ¶
285
00:11:42,871 --> 00:11:44,705
Hey, that's my room!
286
00:11:44,772 --> 00:11:48,642
Hey steve, remember how you said
I couldn't go to space camp?
287
00:11:48,710 --> 00:11:50,811
Well, check it out,
you smug little bastard:
288
00:11:50,879 --> 00:11:52,646
Five strippers
are living in your room
289
00:11:52,714 --> 00:11:53,947
And they're totally horny.
290
00:11:54,015 --> 00:11:56,083
Melinda, allison, go!
291
00:11:56,151 --> 00:11:58,752
(moaning)
292
00:11:58,820 --> 00:12:00,487
Ooh!
293
00:12:00,555 --> 00:12:02,489
They're kissing where we
practice kissing!
294
00:12:02,557 --> 00:12:03,790
We gotta get home.
295
00:12:03,858 --> 00:12:05,325
We gotta break
out of this place.
296
00:12:05,393 --> 00:12:08,061
See you in hell, (bleep)!
297
00:12:08,129 --> 00:12:09,196
Okay, girls.
298
00:12:09,264 --> 00:12:11,632
Pillow fight!
299
00:12:11,699 --> 00:12:14,635
Oops! Forgot I put
some sodas in there.
300
00:12:17,372 --> 00:12:19,806
Ladies, six of the ten
richest men in america
301
00:12:19,874 --> 00:12:22,309
Made their fortune off of dry
cleaning or other businesses.
302
00:12:22,377 --> 00:12:24,511
So let's get in there
and make some money!
303
00:12:24,579 --> 00:12:26,613
(cheering)
304
00:12:26,681 --> 00:12:29,850
Oh, man-- landlord
gave me the wrong key.
305
00:12:29,918 --> 00:12:32,019
Jackass, coked-up armenian.
306
00:12:32,086 --> 00:12:33,153
It's all right.
307
00:12:33,221 --> 00:12:34,888
We can do what we want.
It's our door.
308
00:12:34,956 --> 00:12:36,623
(shattering)
309
00:12:38,593 --> 00:12:39,993
This is not our dry cleaners.
310
00:12:40,061 --> 00:12:42,429
I think we're a block over.
Go, go, go, go, go.
311
00:12:50,238 --> 00:12:51,405
Girls, I don't understand.
312
00:12:51,472 --> 00:12:52,940
Why don't we have
any customers?
313
00:12:53,007 --> 00:12:55,576
Well, sometimes it takes a while
for a business to get going.
314
00:12:55,643 --> 00:12:57,477
Like when bosoms opened up.
315
00:12:57,545 --> 00:13:01,415
No one went to bosoms, right,
and now people go to bosoms.
316
00:13:01,482 --> 00:13:02,649
(door opening)
(gasps)
317
00:13:02,717 --> 00:13:05,252
Oh, hi. Sorry.
318
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:06,820
Are you still helping
number zero?
319
00:13:06,888 --> 00:13:08,021
Because I'm next.
320
00:13:08,089 --> 00:13:09,323
I'm one.
What do you want, hayley?
321
00:13:09,390 --> 00:13:11,692
I just wanted to give you
a store-warming present.
322
00:13:11,759 --> 00:13:13,327
A bag of my mulch.
323
00:13:13,394 --> 00:13:16,563
It's filled with crap,
just like you.
324
00:13:18,566 --> 00:13:21,368
Now that is funny enough
for you to leave on!
325
00:13:23,705 --> 00:13:25,939
So, how's business?
326
00:13:26,007 --> 00:13:28,208
Great! Look at all
the clothes we have!
327
00:13:28,276 --> 00:13:31,345
Okay, I'm going to explain
this one more time.
328
00:13:31,412 --> 00:13:33,480
I bought the clothes
and spruced up the store
329
00:13:33,548 --> 00:13:35,115
So it would look like
we have customers,
330
00:13:35,183 --> 00:13:37,317
Thus attracting
real customers.
331
00:13:37,385 --> 00:13:38,919
What is so hard to understand
about that?
332
00:13:38,987 --> 00:13:39,987
The other girls get it.
333
00:13:40,054 --> 00:13:41,021
Right, deborah?
334
00:13:41,089 --> 00:13:44,324
(gasping)
335
00:13:44,392 --> 00:13:45,425
(deep inhale)
336
00:13:45,493 --> 00:13:46,493
I'm hungry.
337
00:13:46,561 --> 00:13:48,562
Come on, we need
to make this work!
338
00:13:48,630 --> 00:13:51,064
For god's sake, I bought a
floor-length chinchilla here!
339
00:13:51,132 --> 00:13:55,102
Maybe we should all just go back
to stripping like tanqueray.
340
00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:56,870
Wait, tanqueray's doing what?!
341
00:13:56,938 --> 00:13:58,605
She felt bad your business
was failing,
342
00:13:58,673 --> 00:14:00,707
So she went to the strip club
to make your money back.
343
00:14:00,775 --> 00:14:02,142
No, no!
344
00:14:02,210 --> 00:14:04,244
If she goes back to stripping,
then I've failed,
345
00:14:04,312 --> 00:14:05,646
And hayley was right
not to listen to me.
346
00:14:05,713 --> 00:14:08,248
I can't let that happen!
347
00:14:08,316 --> 00:14:11,551
Hey, has stan tried to rape
either of you guys yet?
348
00:14:11,619 --> 00:14:12,586
No.
No.
349
00:14:12,654 --> 00:14:14,121
That's weird,
right?
350
00:14:18,126 --> 00:14:23,964
(ladies cheering)
351
00:14:24,032 --> 00:14:25,565
Is tanqueray here?
352
00:14:25,633 --> 00:14:27,367
(gentle, feminine voice):
Oh, no, she worked
this afternoon,
353
00:14:27,435 --> 00:14:29,202
But now it's ladies' night,
so she went home.
354
00:14:29,270 --> 00:14:32,039
Wow, your voice is sweet.
355
00:14:32,106 --> 00:14:34,574
Yeah, my gonads are tucked
inside my abdomen.
356
00:14:34,642 --> 00:14:37,644
I was born with what doctors
call "bashful testicles."
357
00:14:37,712 --> 00:14:38,745
Oh.
358
00:14:38,813 --> 00:14:40,047
(phone ringing)
359
00:14:40,114 --> 00:14:41,148
Hello.
360
00:14:41,215 --> 00:14:43,417
Stan, we just got a call
from the bank.
361
00:14:43,484 --> 00:14:46,386
They say we haven't paid our
car payment or the mortgage.
362
00:14:46,454 --> 00:14:49,356
Is this because you sunk all
our money into the dry cleaners?
363
00:14:49,424 --> 00:14:51,825
Let's look at the positives
here, francine.
364
00:14:51,893 --> 00:14:54,695
I could've been born
with bashful testicles.
365
00:14:54,762 --> 00:14:56,963
You tell the bank
to think about that.
366
00:14:57,031 --> 00:14:57,864
Man:
You!
367
00:14:57,932 --> 00:14:59,833
With the sixty-inch chest.
368
00:14:59,901 --> 00:15:00,967
How hairy are you?
What?
369
00:15:01,035 --> 00:15:02,436
Uh...
370
00:15:02,503 --> 00:15:04,338
Damn it, I don't have time
for you to estimate!
371
00:15:04,405 --> 00:15:05,739
Yes!
372
00:15:05,807 --> 00:15:07,174
You're perfect!
373
00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:08,909
I had three dancers
cancel on me.
374
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:10,877
How'd you like
to make $600.
375
00:15:10,945 --> 00:15:12,045
A day?
An hour!
376
00:15:12,113 --> 00:15:14,648
Tax-free, all cash.
377
00:15:14,716 --> 00:15:17,584
I really can't-- cash?
378
00:15:17,652 --> 00:15:19,219
If you're having
money problems,
379
00:15:19,287 --> 00:15:21,855
This could be your
possible solution.
380
00:15:21,923 --> 00:15:23,123
What do I do?
381
00:15:23,191 --> 00:15:24,558
Now gyrate!
382
00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:27,127
Come on, shake it!
383
00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:30,530
Yeah, you're a natural.
384
00:15:30,598 --> 00:15:32,265
Now rip my pants off.
385
00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:34,134
Do it!
386
00:15:34,202 --> 00:15:35,435
Now kiss me!
What?
387
00:15:35,503 --> 00:15:37,804
I said get out there!
388
00:15:37,872 --> 00:15:40,040
Protect yourself, victor.
389
00:15:40,108 --> 00:15:43,043
I can't take another
heartbreak right now.
390
00:15:48,071 --> 00:15:50,140
How's the mulch business
going, sweetie?
391
00:15:50,208 --> 00:15:52,142
Well, I'm not doing
as well as I thought.
392
00:15:52,210 --> 00:15:53,777
Once I paid all my
costs and taxes,
393
00:15:53,845 --> 00:15:55,145
I'm barely breaking even.
394
00:15:55,213 --> 00:15:57,547
Well, look, maybe you should
forget about
395
00:15:57,615 --> 00:15:59,616
All those starving kids
you let down
396
00:15:59,684 --> 00:16:01,918
And think about how long
you've been single.
397
00:16:01,986 --> 00:16:03,687
Mom!
Join a gym!
398
00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:05,188
Check it out, I'm back.
399
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:06,690
Bam!
400
00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:08,725
Told you the dry cleaning
business would be a success.
401
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:11,895
My advice is so good, even
strippers can benefit from it.
402
00:16:11,963 --> 00:16:14,764
Bong! Zing!
403
00:16:14,832 --> 00:16:16,132
This is all
from dry cleaning?
404
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:17,267
That's right, baby.
405
00:16:17,335 --> 00:16:18,535
We turned it around.
406
00:16:18,603 --> 00:16:21,438
Francine, I found
this g-string outside.
407
00:16:21,505 --> 00:16:24,007
Please wash it and then
I will put it back outside.
408
00:16:30,581 --> 00:16:33,416
(screaming)
409
00:16:35,353 --> 00:16:37,754
(screaming continues)
410
00:16:55,740 --> 00:16:57,707
(yelling)
411
00:16:57,775 --> 00:17:00,343
(screaming)
412
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:08,385
(all screaming)
413
00:17:08,452 --> 00:17:11,321
(sirens blaring,
dogs barking)
414
00:17:11,389 --> 00:17:13,390
(techno dance music playing)
415
00:17:13,457 --> 00:17:17,060
(women cheering)
416
00:17:17,128 --> 00:17:18,094
How are they?
417
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,196
Typical Tuesday crowd.
418
00:17:20,264 --> 00:17:23,033
Everybody wants to grab it
but nobody wants to pay for it.
419
00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:24,968
Worst part is I keep
getting aroused.
420
00:17:25,036 --> 00:17:26,903
How long before the
dance (bleep) go away?
421
00:17:26,971 --> 00:17:28,471
You can still get erections?
422
00:17:28,539 --> 00:17:30,040
You're straight?
423
00:17:30,107 --> 00:17:33,677
(women cheering)
424
00:17:33,744 --> 00:17:35,879
I don't know if I want
to be here, roger.
425
00:17:35,947 --> 00:17:38,281
Come on, a little (bleep)
will cheer you right up.
426
00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:39,716
So your mulch business
is going under.
427
00:17:39,784 --> 00:17:41,418
It's not the end of the world.
428
00:17:41,485 --> 00:17:44,354
Yeah, it just means
my dad was right.
429
00:17:44,422 --> 00:17:46,289
Are you supposed to be
pregnant or fat?
430
00:17:46,357 --> 00:17:47,924
Eight months preggers.
431
00:17:47,992 --> 00:17:49,492
They don't make you buy
the two-drink minimum
432
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:50,627
When you're knocked up.
433
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:51,728
Snuck in my own.
434
00:17:51,796 --> 00:17:53,029
This is a party ball.
435
00:17:54,465 --> 00:17:55,565
(liquid trickling)
436
00:17:55,633 --> 00:17:57,434
Ah, perfect pour.
437
00:17:58,936 --> 00:18:01,571
That, however,
was urine I just drank.
438
00:18:04,275 --> 00:18:07,577
(cheering, howling)
439
00:18:07,645 --> 00:18:11,381
I'm starting to get
the very bad feeling
440
00:18:11,449 --> 00:18:12,882
That none of these boys
441
00:18:12,950 --> 00:18:14,718
Are going to go
full pickle tonight.
442
00:18:14,785 --> 00:18:16,786
Dj: Okay, ladies,
open up your purses
443
00:18:16,854 --> 00:18:20,757
And show some love
for a real renaissance man:
444
00:18:20,825 --> 00:18:23,960
Michael dangle-low!
445
00:18:24,028 --> 00:18:25,795
¶ ¶
446
00:18:32,536 --> 00:18:33,470
(cheers and screams)
447
00:18:33,537 --> 00:18:35,572
Oh, my god.
448
00:18:35,639 --> 00:18:37,540
I know, look at that meat!
449
00:18:37,608 --> 00:18:38,875
French me for a 20!
450
00:18:38,943 --> 00:18:39,976
Roger, that's my dad!
451
00:18:40,044 --> 00:18:40,977
Stan?!
452
00:18:41,045 --> 00:18:42,145
Ooh!
453
00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:49,652
(screaming)
454
00:18:53,290 --> 00:18:55,625
Hayley, this isn't how
I wanted you to find out,
455
00:18:55,693 --> 00:18:57,660
But your daddy is
a brilliant painter.
456
00:18:57,728 --> 00:19:00,997
Dad, is this where all the dry
cleaning money was coming from?
457
00:19:01,065 --> 00:19:02,766
No wonder it was all
in crumpled ones.
458
00:19:02,833 --> 00:19:04,434
You are such a liar!
459
00:19:04,502 --> 00:19:05,802
Hayley, wait!
460
00:19:05,870 --> 00:19:08,338
Hang on, I paid for
a three-song dance.
461
00:19:08,406 --> 00:19:09,639
Not now, roger.
Vic!
462
00:19:09,707 --> 00:19:11,941
Hey, shelly.
Hi, victor.
463
00:19:12,009 --> 00:19:15,612
Listen, your stallion here is
trying to run out on his dance.
464
00:19:15,679 --> 00:19:17,247
Vic, listen.
You listen.
465
00:19:17,314 --> 00:19:20,483
Shelly was a dancer here for
three years, now she's family.
466
00:19:20,551 --> 00:19:22,185
You keep her happy.
467
00:19:22,253 --> 00:19:24,354
(groaning)
468
00:19:24,422 --> 00:19:25,588
No, no!
469
00:19:25,656 --> 00:19:27,690
Lean forward and look back.
470
00:19:27,758 --> 00:19:30,193
That's what I like.
471
00:19:30,261 --> 00:19:32,362
And make it rain,
make it rain, make it--
472
00:19:32,430 --> 00:19:34,964
Look at me
like you're a virgin!
473
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:39,803
Oh, tanqueray, you leaving?
474
00:19:39,870 --> 00:19:42,238
Yeah, I'm gonna try
and get in playboy.
475
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,174
I've got a lot of
good short stories.
476
00:19:44,241 --> 00:19:46,676
This suitcase is filled
with science fiction.
477
00:19:46,744 --> 00:19:48,845
I'm sorry my father
messed with your life
478
00:19:48,913 --> 00:19:50,380
With his stupid advice.
479
00:19:50,448 --> 00:19:51,748
I'm so pissed at him.
480
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,550
Hey, at least he's taking
an interest in you.
481
00:19:53,617 --> 00:19:54,984
More than my dad ever did.
482
00:19:55,052 --> 00:19:58,121
And besides, he can be
pretty smart sometimes.
483
00:19:58,189 --> 00:20:00,190
He was right about
putting a banana in me.
484
00:20:00,257 --> 00:20:01,724
Well, goodbye.
485
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,695
(car starting)
486
00:20:05,763 --> 00:20:07,063
Did that girl just leave?
487
00:20:07,131 --> 00:20:09,833
I think she stole
my jewelry!
488
00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:11,634
Hayley, I'm sorry.
489
00:20:11,702 --> 00:20:13,970
I didn't want to admit
my dry cleaning business
490
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:15,405
Was a bad idea
491
00:20:15,473 --> 00:20:17,807
And well, the truth is,
you were right.
492
00:20:17,875 --> 00:20:20,110
You're 18; you don't need
my advice anymore.
493
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:21,778
Yeah, maybe I don't.
494
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:25,115
But it's nice to know you
care enough to offer it.
495
00:20:26,784 --> 00:20:28,585
The good silver's missing!
496
00:20:28,652 --> 00:20:30,753
I'm calling the police!
497
00:20:30,821 --> 00:20:33,723
Actually, I pawned it all
to pay down my debt.
498
00:20:33,791 --> 00:20:36,726
You know, nothing cheers you up
like being in a pawn shop.
499
00:20:36,794 --> 00:20:38,695
Because chances are,
you're going to see
500
00:20:38,762 --> 00:20:40,763
A flintstones alarm clock.
501
00:20:45,169 --> 00:20:47,237
Steve, where are
the strippers?!
502
00:20:47,304 --> 00:20:48,605
I don't know!
503
00:20:48,672 --> 00:20:49,906
Hey, look who's back!
504
00:20:49,974 --> 00:20:51,207
Where are the girls?!
505
00:20:51,275 --> 00:20:52,642
Oh, you missed them.
They're gone.
506
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:53,877
(all groaning)
507
00:20:53,944 --> 00:20:55,078
But here's a dirty g-string.
508
00:20:55,146 --> 00:20:56,246
Enjoy.
509
00:20:56,313 --> 00:20:57,380
(sniffing, sighing)
510
00:20:57,448 --> 00:20:58,615
It's your dad's.
511
00:20:58,682 --> 00:21:01,384
(guffawing)
512
00:21:01,452 --> 00:21:03,019
I made it rain,
made it rain,
513
00:21:03,087 --> 00:21:04,387
I made it rain
on them boys!
514
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:05,388
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com