1
00:00:01,588 --> 00:00:03,021
(upbeat March plays)
2
00:00:03,089 --> 00:00:05,857
¶ good morning, usa! ¶
3
00:00:05,925 --> 00:00:09,661
¶ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ¶
4
00:00:09,729 --> 00:00:12,831
¶ the sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ¶
5
00:00:12,899 --> 00:00:16,902
¶ and he's shining a salute
to the american race ¶
6
00:00:18,972 --> 00:00:22,007
¶ oh, boy, it's swell to say ¶
7
00:00:22,075 --> 00:00:26,011
¶ good morning, usa! ¶
8
00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:30,382
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
9
00:00:34,020 --> 00:00:35,387
Ugh!
10
00:00:35,455 --> 00:00:36,788
God, that's
awful.
11
00:00:36,856 --> 00:00:39,791
Francine, courteney cox
played a chef on friends.
12
00:00:39,859 --> 00:00:41,693
Your cooking is worse
than her acting.
13
00:00:41,761 --> 00:00:44,062
So I saw something today
that's really stayed with me.
14
00:00:44,130 --> 00:00:46,465
After encountering some guys
from the football team,
15
00:00:46,532 --> 00:00:49,167
Toshi and I were looking for
my pants in the drainage ditch,
16
00:00:49,235 --> 00:00:51,203
And then we saw
a squirrel get run over.
17
00:00:51,271 --> 00:00:53,071
(gasps)
oh...
18
00:00:53,139 --> 00:00:56,041
Isn't that the saddest thing
you ever heard, stan?
19
00:00:56,109 --> 00:00:57,075
Eh.
20
00:00:57,143 --> 00:00:59,778
Stan, a squirrel died today.
21
00:00:59,846 --> 00:01:01,813
Doesn't that make you feel sad?
22
00:01:01,881 --> 00:01:03,582
Doesn't that make
you feel anything?
23
00:01:03,650 --> 00:01:05,117
Yeah, annoyed.
24
00:01:05,184 --> 00:01:06,785
Annoyed at the squirrel
for jaywalking,
25
00:01:06,853 --> 00:01:08,387
Annoyed at steve
for losing his pants,
26
00:01:08,454 --> 00:01:10,722
And annoyed at the football
player for not being my son.
27
00:01:10,790 --> 00:01:11,957
(spits)
28
00:01:12,025 --> 00:01:14,393
Spoiler alert: The
sweet potatoes suck.
29
00:01:14,460 --> 00:01:16,561
How can sweet potatoes
not be sweet?
30
00:01:16,629 --> 00:01:17,896
Hmm, frannie?
31
00:01:17,964 --> 00:01:19,531
How'd you take the sweet
out of the potatoes?
32
00:01:19,599 --> 00:01:22,167
Let's say grace.
33
00:01:22,235 --> 00:01:23,302
Where's hayley?
34
00:01:23,369 --> 00:01:25,003
Oh, she went to
some rock concert.
35
00:01:25,071 --> 00:01:26,538
Rock concert?!
36
00:01:26,606 --> 00:01:29,007
Honey, it's just a concert.
37
00:01:29,075 --> 00:01:31,376
She went to listen
to rock music, francine.
38
00:01:31,444 --> 00:01:32,844
That's the devil's music.
39
00:01:32,912 --> 00:01:34,780
It's the number one cause
of teen pregnancy,
40
00:01:34,847 --> 00:01:36,682
School violence,
and leather pants.
41
00:01:36,749 --> 00:01:39,584
Stan, all you ever feel
is anger.
42
00:01:39,652 --> 00:01:42,321
Why is that the only emotion
you can express?
43
00:01:42,388 --> 00:01:44,256
Because people make me mad
all the time
44
00:01:44,324 --> 00:01:45,957
For being stupid
about everything!
45
00:01:46,025 --> 00:01:48,427
Now pass me
the (bleep) sweet potatoes!
46
00:01:51,497 --> 00:01:54,433
Stan?
47
00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:56,234
It's 1:00 in
the morning.
48
00:01:56,302 --> 00:01:57,402
What are you doing?
49
00:01:57,470 --> 00:01:59,104
I think it's
pretty obvious.
50
00:01:59,172 --> 00:02:00,639
Hayley's still
at that concert.
51
00:02:00,707 --> 00:02:02,974
When she gets home,
I'm going to scare her straight.
52
00:02:03,042 --> 00:02:04,876
That's her.
53
00:02:10,216 --> 00:02:12,150
(stan yells, hayley screams)
54
00:02:12,218 --> 00:02:13,752
(groans)
55
00:02:13,820 --> 00:02:15,120
What'd you do that for?
56
00:02:15,188 --> 00:02:16,655
You scared the
hell out of me!
57
00:02:16,723 --> 00:02:18,023
No more concerts for you!
58
00:02:18,091 --> 00:02:19,558
Yeah, good luck
with that.
59
00:02:19,625 --> 00:02:22,461
I will not let you throw your
life away like your uncle did.
60
00:02:22,528 --> 00:02:24,396
Spending all his time
at the bowling alley,
61
00:02:24,464 --> 00:02:26,365
Running around with that lady
from the tire shop,
62
00:02:26,432 --> 00:02:28,734
Flipping giant pancakes
with a shovel.
63
00:02:28,801 --> 00:02:30,369
Dad, that's the
movie uncle buck.
64
00:02:30,436 --> 00:02:32,304
The point is:
You're wasting your life.
65
00:02:32,372 --> 00:02:34,106
Music isn't a waste, dad,
66
00:02:34,173 --> 00:02:35,974
And my morning jacket
is awesome.
67
00:02:36,042 --> 00:02:37,008
Your morning what?
68
00:02:37,076 --> 00:02:38,410
Honey,
my morning jacket
69
00:02:38,478 --> 00:02:40,112
Is the name
of the band.
70
00:02:40,179 --> 00:02:44,649
Oh, yeah, I'm a cool mom...
Who can also hang loose.
71
00:02:44,717 --> 00:02:48,353
I'm way into peace...
Which is a-ok.
72
00:02:48,421 --> 00:02:50,655
Going my way?
73
00:02:50,723 --> 00:02:53,425
Well, they're playing
again tomorrow night,
74
00:02:53,493 --> 00:02:54,426
And I'm going.
75
00:02:54,494 --> 00:02:55,394
Is that right?
76
00:02:55,461 --> 00:02:57,129
(gasps)
77
00:02:57,196 --> 00:02:58,296
Spider say "burp."
78
00:02:58,364 --> 00:03:00,265
God, I hate you!
79
00:03:02,502 --> 00:03:05,036
I'm gonna sleep
in my web tonight.
80
00:03:05,104 --> 00:03:06,671
I am furious.
81
00:03:06,739 --> 00:03:08,173
I know, it sucks.
82
00:03:08,241 --> 00:03:09,641
I wish I could go.
83
00:03:09,709 --> 00:03:11,143
Okay, bye.
84
00:03:11,210 --> 00:03:12,911
How you doing, honey?
85
00:03:12,979 --> 00:03:14,679
What is dad's
problem with music?
86
00:03:14,747 --> 00:03:16,681
Well, music makes
you feel things,
87
00:03:16,749 --> 00:03:19,217
And your dad's a bit
of an emotional tight-ass...
88
00:03:19,285 --> 00:03:20,685
And a literal one,
89
00:03:20,753 --> 00:03:22,954
Which is why it took
half a bottle of ether
90
00:03:23,022 --> 00:03:25,690
And salad tongs to get this.
91
00:03:25,758 --> 00:03:26,992
Mom!
92
00:03:27,059 --> 00:03:28,393
Ew!
Awesome!
93
00:03:28,461 --> 00:03:30,395
I also found this.
94
00:03:30,463 --> 00:03:32,164
It looks like a turd.
95
00:03:32,231 --> 00:03:33,432
Look closer.
96
00:03:33,499 --> 00:03:35,300
It's clearly a turd.
97
00:03:35,368 --> 00:03:37,202
Taste it.
98
00:03:39,806 --> 00:03:41,773
It's... Chocolate.
99
00:03:41,841 --> 00:03:43,875
Yeah, your dad must think
I'm getting fat,
100
00:03:43,943 --> 00:03:45,143
So he's been hiding it
101
00:03:45,211 --> 00:03:48,079
In the one place he thought
I couldn't reach--
102
00:03:48,147 --> 00:03:49,681
Behind the fridge.
103
00:03:49,749 --> 00:03:52,384
Anyway, have fun
at the show rocking it.
104
00:03:52,452 --> 00:03:54,052
Oh, mom, you're the best.
105
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,155
Hey, I went to a few concerts
when I was your age.
106
00:03:57,223 --> 00:03:59,591
I'd get backstage
all the time.
107
00:03:59,659 --> 00:04:02,027
Of course, back then
you really had to work for it,
108
00:04:02,094 --> 00:04:05,664
Not like today with
all these sissy radio giveaways.
109
00:04:05,731 --> 00:04:07,232
Oh, you're caller 96.
110
00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:08,266
Bravo.
111
00:04:08,334 --> 00:04:09,367
(scoffs)
112
00:04:09,435 --> 00:04:11,036
Fit that whole phone
in your mouth,
113
00:04:11,103 --> 00:04:13,538
You might have been able
to hang with my crew.
114
00:04:13,606 --> 00:04:15,240
Wait, if I'm not here tonight,
115
00:04:15,308 --> 00:04:16,975
Won't dad figure out
where I went?
116
00:04:17,043 --> 00:04:19,377
You leave your father to me.
117
00:04:19,445 --> 00:04:21,012
Hey, everyone,
118
00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:22,180
It's me, hayley.
119
00:04:22,248 --> 00:04:23,281
Sorry I'm late.
120
00:04:23,349 --> 00:04:24,716
I was doing
hayley stuff--
121
00:04:24,784 --> 00:04:26,518
Peace and whatnot,
tom's of maine.
122
00:04:26,586 --> 00:04:27,552
I'm the daughter.
123
00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:28,753
Settle down,
hayley.
124
00:04:28,821 --> 00:04:29,921
Screw you, stan!
125
00:04:29,989 --> 00:04:31,056
Roger!
126
00:04:31,123 --> 00:04:32,190
Wait, roger?
127
00:04:32,258 --> 00:04:33,225
Well, then where's...?
128
00:04:33,292 --> 00:04:35,494
She went to that concert!
129
00:04:37,763 --> 00:04:39,898
Well, I'm gonna go beg
for money on the beach
130
00:04:39,966 --> 00:04:41,800
Since I'm
dressed for it.
131
00:04:42,969 --> 00:04:45,704
(cheering)
132
00:04:45,771 --> 00:04:50,342
I'll just put in these
cia noise-canceling earplugs.
133
00:04:50,409 --> 00:04:52,577
Then I won't have
to expose myself to that filth
134
00:04:52,645 --> 00:04:54,212
When I yank that girl
out of there.
135
00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:56,314
Then what are
you going to do?
136
00:04:59,085 --> 00:05:01,319
Stan:
Idiots-- paying good money
to see something
137
00:05:01,387 --> 00:05:03,154
They've already heard
on a record.
138
00:05:03,222 --> 00:05:05,690
Get a job, hippie.
139
00:05:05,758 --> 00:05:07,092
It's called a shower,
you douche bag.
140
00:05:07,159 --> 00:05:08,960
Whoa, she's hot.
141
00:05:10,496 --> 00:05:12,531
Huh, better coming than going.
142
00:05:16,869 --> 00:05:18,870
I'll never find her in here.
143
00:05:20,806 --> 00:05:22,507
Well, that could have
taken a lot longer.
144
00:05:26,245 --> 00:05:28,380
(muffled):
You're coming home right now!
145
00:05:30,516 --> 00:05:31,483
Look, everything is fine.
146
00:05:31,551 --> 00:05:32,584
I'm her father.
147
00:05:32,652 --> 00:05:34,152
(inaudible)
you don't understand!
148
00:05:34,220 --> 00:05:35,554
Damn it,
I said I'm her fa--
149
00:05:35,621 --> 00:05:38,123
("wordless chorus" playing)
150
00:05:38,190 --> 00:05:39,224
Do you hear an angel?
151
00:05:39,292 --> 00:05:40,492
What?
152
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:44,596
An angel-- possessing you,
living in your heart?
153
00:05:44,664 --> 00:05:46,698
¶ hoo ¶
154
00:05:46,766 --> 00:05:49,634
¶ oh, yeah ¶
155
00:05:49,702 --> 00:05:52,537
¶ oh-ho... ¶
156
00:05:57,109 --> 00:05:59,945
¶ hoo ¶
157
00:06:01,180 --> 00:06:03,815
¶ hoo, oh ¶
158
00:06:03,883 --> 00:06:05,584
¶ yeah ¶
159
00:06:05,651 --> 00:06:06,518
¶ oh... ¶
160
00:06:06,586 --> 00:06:07,686
Oh, my god.
161
00:06:10,022 --> 00:06:12,290
I feel.
162
00:06:12,358 --> 00:06:14,459
I feel everything.
163
00:06:14,527 --> 00:06:18,096
And number 5
feels alive!
164
00:06:22,255 --> 00:06:25,991
Whoo! Whoo!
165
00:06:26,059 --> 00:06:27,660
Whoo!
Whoo!
166
00:06:27,727 --> 00:06:28,727
Whoo!
167
00:06:28,795 --> 00:06:30,262
What are we doing?!
168
00:06:30,330 --> 00:06:31,697
Oh, my god, francine.
169
00:06:31,765 --> 00:06:34,867
This band my morning jacket--
incredible.
170
00:06:34,935 --> 00:06:36,368
That's great, honey.
171
00:06:36,436 --> 00:06:38,504
That stuff you were saying
about me only feeling anger?
172
00:06:38,571 --> 00:06:40,706
Well, I feel
everything now, baby.
173
00:06:40,774 --> 00:06:42,975
I cried, francine,
I actually cried.
174
00:06:43,043 --> 00:06:45,444
The way you wanted me to
at the birth of our children,
175
00:06:45,512 --> 00:06:47,246
Instead of just punching
that locker.
176
00:06:47,314 --> 00:06:50,316
Oh, stan, I want
to hear all about it.
177
00:06:50,383 --> 00:06:52,618
And I want to hear all
their music right now.
178
00:06:52,686 --> 00:06:55,454
Hey, I can download
them on my cell phone.
179
00:06:55,522 --> 00:06:57,456
Cell phone, play
my morning jacket.
180
00:06:57,524 --> 00:07:00,125
Automated female voice:
Do you want me
to call maureen jacket?
181
00:07:00,193 --> 00:07:02,261
You're still in touch
with maureen jacket?
182
00:07:02,329 --> 00:07:03,796
No, I haven't talked
to her in years.
183
00:07:03,863 --> 00:07:05,297
(phone rings)
184
00:07:05,365 --> 00:07:07,533
Woman:
Hey, stan, thanks again
for lunch yesterday.
185
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,835
Oh, you left your sandals
in my car.
186
00:07:12,072 --> 00:07:14,239
("touch me I'm going to scream,
part 2" playing)
187
00:07:16,509 --> 00:07:18,844
¶ I'm smiling, too ¶
188
00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:23,849
¶ I see myself in you ¶
189
00:07:25,085 --> 00:07:27,987
¶ I am with it ¶
190
00:07:28,054 --> 00:07:30,022
¶ man, I am wired... ¶
191
00:07:30,090 --> 00:07:31,991
No way!
Hey!
192
00:07:32,058 --> 00:07:34,426
Stan, you didn't come
to bed last night.
193
00:07:34,494 --> 00:07:37,396
I checked the couch, I checked
all three of your webs.
194
00:07:37,464 --> 00:07:39,565
This singer, francine--
jim james--
195
00:07:39,632 --> 00:07:41,967
Has the most angelic voice.
196
00:07:42,035 --> 00:07:43,435
He makes enya sound
197
00:07:43,503 --> 00:07:45,838
Like a russian couple arguing
at the bowling alley.
198
00:07:45,905 --> 00:07:47,940
Stan, I'm glad
you're having fun,
199
00:07:48,008 --> 00:07:49,441
But you're supposed
to be at work.
200
00:07:49,509 --> 00:07:50,809
You're really late.
201
00:07:50,877 --> 00:07:52,945
Yeah, 42 years late.
202
00:07:53,013 --> 00:07:56,115
Francine, jim james
writes stuff I think,
203
00:07:56,182 --> 00:07:59,518
Like "we are the innovators,
they are the imitators."
204
00:07:59,586 --> 00:08:00,953
I thought that,
like, two years ago,
205
00:08:01,021 --> 00:08:02,054
But I never
said anything.
206
00:08:02,122 --> 00:08:04,656
Oh, dad, if you like
my morning jacket,
207
00:08:04,724 --> 00:08:07,326
Wait until you hear this new
band I've been listening to.
208
00:08:07,394 --> 00:08:08,627
I thought you liked
my morning jacket.
209
00:08:08,695 --> 00:08:09,661
I do, but...
210
00:08:09,729 --> 00:08:11,897
You whore.
211
00:08:11,965 --> 00:08:13,298
Music slut.
212
00:08:13,366 --> 00:08:15,634
Shaking those ears all over
town, letting anyone in.
213
00:08:15,702 --> 00:08:16,735
Get out of this room!
214
00:08:16,803 --> 00:08:17,669
What?!
Go on,
215
00:08:17,737 --> 00:08:18,937
Get out of this sanctuary.
216
00:08:19,005 --> 00:08:20,606
You're not fit
to hear the music of jim.
217
00:08:20,673 --> 00:08:21,974
But I'm the one...
218
00:08:22,042 --> 00:08:24,176
Stan, don't you think
that was a little harsh?
219
00:08:24,244 --> 00:08:25,411
Oh, oh, I love this part.
220
00:08:25,478 --> 00:08:26,512
Listen to this, francine,
221
00:08:26,579 --> 00:08:28,447
And by "listen,"
I really mean "hear."
222
00:08:28,515 --> 00:08:29,515
(volume increases)
223
00:08:29,582 --> 00:08:31,150
What do you see
when you hear this?
224
00:08:31,217 --> 00:08:33,685
I don't know, a spaceship?
225
00:08:33,753 --> 00:08:35,587
Wrong!
I'll tell you what I see.
226
00:08:35,655 --> 00:08:37,723
It's a trip, man.
227
00:08:45,165 --> 00:08:49,835
¶ ha... ¶
228
00:08:52,272 --> 00:08:56,608
¶ ha... ¶
229
00:08:59,946 --> 00:09:02,781
¶ ha-ah ¶
230
00:09:04,017 --> 00:09:05,117
¶ ha-ah ¶
231
00:09:08,655 --> 00:09:13,258
¶ ha... ¶
232
00:09:16,329 --> 00:09:20,265
¶ ha... ¶
233
00:09:22,502 --> 00:09:24,970
¶ ha-ah ¶
234
00:09:26,239 --> 00:09:28,574
¶ ha-ah ¶
235
00:09:32,278 --> 00:09:36,482
¶ ha... ¶
236
00:09:36,549 --> 00:09:38,383
(tapping)
237
00:09:39,686 --> 00:09:41,587
What the hell
are you doing?
238
00:09:41,654 --> 00:09:44,356
You've been out here for three
hours with your eyes closed
239
00:09:44,424 --> 00:09:46,191
And a really creepy smile.
240
00:09:46,259 --> 00:09:47,860
You're freaking
us all out.
241
00:09:47,927 --> 00:09:49,161
Oh, sorry, sir.
242
00:09:49,229 --> 00:09:50,662
Yeah, I, uh,
I'll be right in.
243
00:09:50,730 --> 00:09:51,663
Don't bother.
244
00:09:51,731 --> 00:09:53,632
The work day's over.
245
00:10:06,646 --> 00:10:09,515
("I'm amazed" playing)
246
00:10:19,159 --> 00:10:21,360
¶ I'm amazed ¶
247
00:10:21,427 --> 00:10:24,363
¶ at the quiet ocean ¶
248
00:10:24,430 --> 00:10:27,332
¶ I'm amazed ¶
249
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:30,769
¶ at your wrong devotion ¶
250
00:10:30,837 --> 00:10:33,071
¶ I'm amazed ¶
251
00:10:33,139 --> 00:10:36,308
¶ at what the people sayin' ¶
252
00:10:36,376 --> 00:10:39,011
¶ I'm amazed ¶
253
00:10:39,078 --> 00:10:41,813
¶ by a divided nation ¶
254
00:10:41,881 --> 00:10:44,650
¶ like the middle ¶
255
00:10:44,717 --> 00:10:47,186
¶ of the earth ¶
256
00:10:47,253 --> 00:10:49,788
¶ I get disrupted ¶
257
00:10:53,459 --> 00:10:56,695
¶ I'm amazed ¶
258
00:10:56,763 --> 00:10:59,498
¶ at all that has been ¶
259
00:10:59,566 --> 00:11:02,868
¶ I'm amazed. ¶
260
00:11:02,936 --> 00:11:05,404
Hayley, what are we going to do
about your dad?
261
00:11:05,471 --> 00:11:07,506
He's really obsessed
with this band.
262
00:11:07,574 --> 00:11:09,174
Didn't you hear me,
mom?!
263
00:11:09,242 --> 00:11:10,842
I've been screaming "help!"
for an hour.
264
00:11:10,910 --> 00:11:12,911
Thank god,
the pool guy came!
265
00:11:12,979 --> 00:11:14,880
("phone went west"
by my morning jacket playing)
266
00:11:14,948 --> 00:11:18,217
¶ there will be a knock ¶
267
00:11:18,284 --> 00:11:24,790
¶ on your front door... ¶
268
00:11:24,857 --> 00:11:26,959
(music stops)
269
00:11:27,026 --> 00:11:29,094
(music resumes)
270
00:11:29,162 --> 00:11:33,031
¶ there will be a knock ¶
271
00:11:33,099 --> 00:11:35,500
¶ on your front... ¶
272
00:11:35,568 --> 00:11:37,803
Take your finger
off the doorbell.
273
00:11:37,870 --> 00:11:39,471
Wish I could.
274
00:11:39,539 --> 00:11:40,872
I'm norman.
275
00:11:40,940 --> 00:11:43,075
I'm supposed to meet stan here
for a transaction.
276
00:11:44,277 --> 00:11:45,544
Um, stan?
277
00:11:45,612 --> 00:11:47,846
This guy's here to see you
about something.
278
00:11:47,914 --> 00:11:49,615
Norman!
You made it!
279
00:11:49,682 --> 00:11:50,616
Thanks for coming.
280
00:11:50,683 --> 00:11:51,883
Here's the 900 bones.
281
00:11:51,951 --> 00:11:53,719
Wait-- $900?
282
00:11:53,786 --> 00:11:55,721
For a cd?
It's a bootleg!
283
00:11:55,788 --> 00:11:57,522
It's jim james at
a doubletree
284
00:11:57,590 --> 00:11:59,458
Before a show
in detroit.
285
00:11:59,525 --> 00:12:02,461
(jim james gargling)
286
00:12:02,528 --> 00:12:04,463
Um... What?
287
00:12:04,530 --> 00:12:06,465
Shh!
288
00:12:06,532 --> 00:12:09,468
(gargling continues)
289
00:12:09,535 --> 00:12:11,570
(spitting, farting)
290
00:12:11,638 --> 00:12:13,572
Jim james:
What the? That wasn't me.
291
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,574
(farting)
who's in here?
292
00:12:15,642 --> 00:12:17,142
(jim james screams)
norman: Hello.
293
00:12:17,210 --> 00:12:18,577
I'm norman. I'm just, uh,
294
00:12:18,645 --> 00:12:20,545
Trying to record some stuff
for the fans.
295
00:12:20,613 --> 00:12:22,247
I'm crouched down
in the shower,
296
00:12:22,315 --> 00:12:25,250
So, uh, the farts are
kind of slipping out.
297
00:12:25,318 --> 00:12:27,586
(farting)
and, uh, I'm also--
298
00:12:27,654 --> 00:12:28,920
Sorry.
(farting)
299
00:12:28,988 --> 00:12:30,422
(farting)
I'm also-- sorry.
300
00:12:30,490 --> 00:12:31,990
I'm also-- sorry.
(farting)
301
00:12:32,058 --> 00:12:33,458
I'm pretty nervous.
302
00:12:33,526 --> 00:12:35,460
Are you kidding me?!
303
00:12:35,528 --> 00:12:38,463
You spent $900 for this?!
304
00:12:38,531 --> 00:12:41,967
Well, I guess
I should be going.
305
00:12:42,035 --> 00:12:44,436
Can I stay here
tonight?
306
00:12:44,504 --> 00:12:46,972
No.
307
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,907
Stan, you're
scaring me.
308
00:12:48,975 --> 00:12:50,642
Missing work,
309
00:12:50,710 --> 00:12:53,478
Spending all that money
for gargling.
310
00:12:53,546 --> 00:12:55,314
You need to come back
to reality.
311
00:12:55,381 --> 00:12:57,249
And soon!
312
00:12:58,918 --> 00:13:00,619
She doesn't get me, jim.
313
00:13:00,687 --> 00:13:02,154
Huh? You talking
to me?
314
00:13:02,221 --> 00:13:03,255
Roger, what the hell?!
315
00:13:03,323 --> 00:13:04,589
What are you doing
in there?
316
00:13:04,657 --> 00:13:07,559
Just licking my finger
and flicking the bean.
317
00:13:07,627 --> 00:13:10,395
The new l.L. Bean
catalog came.
318
00:13:10,463 --> 00:13:11,897
Look, there's clearly
something special
319
00:13:11,964 --> 00:13:13,765
Between you and this
jim james fellow.
320
00:13:13,833 --> 00:13:15,000
It's more than that.
321
00:13:15,068 --> 00:13:16,768
It's like
we're soul mates!
322
00:13:16,836 --> 00:13:19,204
It's like he and I were
ripening for nine months
323
00:13:19,272 --> 00:13:20,739
In the same womb stew,
324
00:13:20,807 --> 00:13:22,207
And then tragically
ripped apart.
325
00:13:22,275 --> 00:13:24,309
Womb stew, delish.
326
00:13:24,377 --> 00:13:25,877
With a little bread,
forget about it.
327
00:13:25,945 --> 00:13:28,814
Look, it's clear to me
what has to happen here.
328
00:13:28,881 --> 00:13:31,783
What do you mean you're going
on tour with my morning jacket?
329
00:13:31,851 --> 00:13:33,785
I have to meet
jim james.
330
00:13:33,853 --> 00:13:36,455
He understands me in a way
that no one else does.
331
00:13:36,522 --> 00:13:39,458
I feel closer to him than
anyone in the world!
332
00:13:39,525 --> 00:13:41,259
You ever felt anything
like that?
333
00:13:41,327 --> 00:13:43,195
Stan!
You're right.
334
00:13:43,262 --> 00:13:45,163
Traffic. I should go.
335
00:13:45,231 --> 00:13:47,733
Stan, this is ridiculous!
336
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,634
How are you even going
to get backstage?
337
00:13:49,702 --> 00:13:51,169
Roger:
With a little help
from me.
338
00:13:51,237 --> 00:13:52,771
The name's abbey.
339
00:13:52,839 --> 00:13:54,172
Abbey road.
340
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:57,042
And when it snows,
I need to be plowed.
341
00:13:59,078 --> 00:14:01,546
("highly suspicious"
by my morning jacket blasting)
342
00:14:02,749 --> 00:14:05,350
(tires squealing)
343
00:14:06,552 --> 00:14:08,487
(munching)
344
00:14:08,554 --> 00:14:10,589
Hey.
345
00:14:10,656 --> 00:14:13,325
I'm just trying
to make a plan.
346
00:14:13,393 --> 00:14:16,094
(munching)
347
00:14:18,783 --> 00:14:20,818
(crowd cheering)
348
00:14:20,885 --> 00:14:23,220
All right, stan,
there's the vip section,
349
00:14:23,288 --> 00:14:24,555
That's where the band is.
350
00:14:24,623 --> 00:14:26,290
Come on, follow my lead.
351
00:14:26,358 --> 00:14:27,491
Hi.
352
00:14:27,559 --> 00:14:29,059
My hand's doing this.
353
00:14:29,127 --> 00:14:32,129
Can you think of any way
you'd want to be a part of it?
354
00:14:32,197 --> 00:14:35,265
Bouncers love shooting dice,
and I've got a loaded pair,
355
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,201
So I knew we could
win our way in.
356
00:14:37,268 --> 00:14:38,302
(stan gasps)
357
00:14:38,370 --> 00:14:39,637
There they are!
Oh, my god!
358
00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:41,205
Oh, my god!
359
00:14:41,272 --> 00:14:42,673
Hey, thanks for coming,
everybody.
360
00:14:42,741 --> 00:14:44,742
Unfortunately,
the band is exhausted,
361
00:14:44,809 --> 00:14:46,510
So we're going to go ahead
and push off.
362
00:14:46,578 --> 00:14:48,245
(crowd groans)
363
00:14:48,313 --> 00:14:50,147
Sorry we're late!
Where do you think
you're going?
364
00:14:50,215 --> 00:14:51,649
Oh, my friend here
is a reporter
365
00:14:51,716 --> 00:14:52,850
For rolling stone.
366
00:14:52,917 --> 00:14:54,652
I'm a reporter
for the rolling stone.
367
00:14:54,719 --> 00:14:55,986
I'm their manager.
368
00:14:56,054 --> 00:14:57,588
Why didn't I hear about this?
369
00:14:57,656 --> 00:14:59,590
Oh, I called you-- cell
phone to tell you--
370
00:14:59,658 --> 00:15:01,592
Must have had a
bad connection.
371
00:15:01,660 --> 00:15:03,527
God, my coverage
sucks!
372
00:15:03,595 --> 00:15:04,762
Sorry about that.
373
00:15:04,829 --> 00:15:06,697
Go ahead, get on.
374
00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:10,434
Okay, stan, get ready
to be surprised
375
00:15:10,502 --> 00:15:12,770
By the amount of drugs
and whores you see,
376
00:15:12,837 --> 00:15:14,371
And then shocked
by the amount of drugs
377
00:15:14,439 --> 00:15:15,939
And whores I can do.
378
00:15:17,909 --> 00:15:20,711
I can't get dick van patten's
eyes to light up.
379
00:15:20,779 --> 00:15:22,379
Keep trying, bo.
380
00:15:22,447 --> 00:15:24,682
Okay, no whores.
381
00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:26,517
But I bet
when that machine's
up and running,
382
00:15:26,584 --> 00:15:29,553
They're going to do big, fat
lines of coke on the glass,
383
00:15:29,621 --> 00:15:31,355
Right over
betty buckley's knockers.
384
00:15:31,423 --> 00:15:33,357
Mmm, milk.
385
00:15:33,425 --> 00:15:34,525
Thanks, magheeta.
386
00:15:34,592 --> 00:15:36,593
(chattering)
387
00:15:36,661 --> 00:15:38,062
Huh.
388
00:15:38,129 --> 00:15:39,363
I don't see jim.
389
00:15:39,431 --> 00:15:41,265
He's probably chillin'
in the back.
390
00:15:41,332 --> 00:15:42,499
Patience!
391
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:44,001
Your moment will come.
392
00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:46,804
Just don't say anything stupid
to blow your cover.
393
00:15:46,871 --> 00:15:48,906
Oh, yeah, as a rock 'n' roll
journalist,
394
00:15:48,973 --> 00:15:50,808
There's nothing
I haven't seen.
395
00:15:50,875 --> 00:15:53,143
Like this one time, I was
free-macing drugs in a van
396
00:15:53,211 --> 00:15:55,946
With tina jivestrong and the
black guy from the beatles.
397
00:15:56,014 --> 00:15:58,782
And I was all, "I think
I'm gonna like it here."
398
00:16:01,519 --> 00:16:02,720
You boner.
399
00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:03,921
(phone rings)
400
00:16:03,988 --> 00:16:05,556
Hello?
Boner speaking.
401
00:16:05,623 --> 00:16:07,191
Stan, where are you?
402
00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:09,426
Your boss called,
and you're fired
403
00:16:09,494 --> 00:16:11,361
If you don't show up
for work Monday.
I don't care!
404
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:14,131
I just have to get backstage
tomorrow night in albany.
405
00:16:14,199 --> 00:16:16,166
Oh, for god's sake.
406
00:16:16,234 --> 00:16:19,570
What if you get backstage
and actually meet
this jim james?
407
00:16:19,637 --> 00:16:21,705
What do you possibly think
is going to happen?
408
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:22,940
I don't know.
409
00:16:23,007 --> 00:16:24,942
Maybe he'll sing to me
of greater things.
410
00:16:25,009 --> 00:16:27,177
Of money, gold
and diamond rings.
411
00:16:27,245 --> 00:16:30,547
Just don't make this last
any longer than it has to!
412
00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:32,182
You don't understand me!
413
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:33,684
(sighs)
414
00:16:33,752 --> 00:16:35,185
He's off the deep end.
415
00:16:38,656 --> 00:16:40,090
No one's stopping.
416
00:16:40,158 --> 00:16:42,126
Look, the next guy'll stop,
I guarantee it.
417
00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:46,830
Roger, your disgusting fat leg
is not going to...
418
00:16:46,898 --> 00:16:48,832
(tires screeching)
419
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:49,800
Oh, my god!
420
00:16:49,868 --> 00:16:50,934
I-I-I didn't see...
421
00:16:51,002 --> 00:16:52,202
(punch lands, man groans)
come on!
422
00:16:52,270 --> 00:16:54,805
Get in, stan!
423
00:16:54,873 --> 00:16:57,040
(tires squealing)
424
00:16:58,643 --> 00:16:59,810
(tires screeching)
425
00:17:01,546 --> 00:17:03,380
Here we are.
426
00:17:04,616 --> 00:17:06,817
Okay, stan. Just let me
do the talking.
427
00:17:06,885 --> 00:17:10,020
And remember, no matter what
happens, we stick together.
428
00:17:10,088 --> 00:17:11,855
Hi, it's just me.
I'm by myself.
429
00:17:14,025 --> 00:17:16,326
What happened?
430
00:17:16,394 --> 00:17:18,595
Okay, no one else
gets backstage.
431
00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:20,964
(crowd groans)
432
00:17:21,032 --> 00:17:22,766
Wait! But I have
to meet jim!
433
00:17:29,808 --> 00:17:31,508
Francine?
434
00:17:31,576 --> 00:17:33,010
Look, I don't know
why you're here.
435
00:17:33,077 --> 00:17:34,545
I'm not coming home
until I meet jim!
436
00:17:34,612 --> 00:17:36,713
That's why I'm here, stan.
437
00:17:36,781 --> 00:17:38,382
This is my world.
438
00:17:38,449 --> 00:17:41,051
And I'm your rock 'n' roll
sherpa.
439
00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:44,188
("remnants" by my morning jacket
playing)
440
00:18:01,439 --> 00:18:04,808
¶ remnants of the empire ¶
441
00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:08,679
¶ artifacts of love ¶
442
00:18:08,746 --> 00:18:11,014
¶ will I meet the designer? ¶
443
00:18:11,082 --> 00:18:15,419
¶ what will he dream up? ¶
444
00:18:15,486 --> 00:18:18,255
¶ remnants of the empire ¶
445
00:18:18,323 --> 00:18:21,992
¶ gravity awake ¶
446
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:24,328
¶ what's held down
to the ground ¶
447
00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:28,866
¶ next round goes into space ¶
448
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:32,102
¶ raising up the empire ¶
449
00:18:32,170 --> 00:18:36,173
¶ innocence and faith ¶
450
00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:37,941
¶ what will hold you up ¶
451
00:18:38,009 --> 00:18:42,412
¶ and what will stand
in your way? ¶
452
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:47,751
¶ waaaay. ¶
453
00:18:50,355 --> 00:18:52,256
Well, he's in there.
454
00:18:52,323 --> 00:18:53,957
Thanks, francine.
455
00:18:54,025 --> 00:18:55,259
Thanks, girls.
456
00:18:55,326 --> 00:18:56,793
And thank you, ma'am.
457
00:18:56,861 --> 00:18:58,695
(knocking)
yeah, it's open.
458
00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:01,732
Can I help you?
459
00:19:01,799 --> 00:19:03,000
Hello?
460
00:19:03,067 --> 00:19:04,134
You okay?
461
00:19:04,202 --> 00:19:06,737
Mr. James, this is
such an honor.
462
00:19:06,804 --> 00:19:08,272
I am a huge fan.
463
00:19:08,339 --> 00:19:09,506
Oh.
464
00:19:09,574 --> 00:19:12,075
Uh, well, well,
thanks, man.
465
00:19:12,143 --> 00:19:14,077
Anything else I
can do for you?
466
00:19:14,145 --> 00:19:15,279
Thank you for the music!
467
00:19:15,346 --> 00:19:16,947
(laughs)
468
00:19:17,015 --> 00:19:18,615
Okay.
469
00:19:18,683 --> 00:19:20,117
You understand me!
470
00:19:20,184 --> 00:19:22,653
Uh, well, I gotta get ready
for the big show.
471
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,322
I've got all your albums,
I have all your posters.
472
00:19:25,390 --> 00:19:27,357
I even bought an old band-aid
of yours off ebay.
473
00:19:27,425 --> 00:19:28,625
Was it from your knee?
474
00:19:28,693 --> 00:19:30,227
It smells like
it's from your knee.
475
00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:32,696
If anybody can hear
my voice, please,
come in here!
476
00:19:32,764 --> 00:19:33,897
No, don't be scared!
477
00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:35,532
I'm not a scary person!
478
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,167
It's okay,
I've got him.
479
00:19:37,235 --> 00:19:38,769
It's just your songs,
480
00:19:38,836 --> 00:19:41,271
I listen to them and
I know you and I
think the same!
481
00:19:41,339 --> 00:19:43,774
It's like... We're
soul neighbors
482
00:19:43,841 --> 00:19:46,109
And we're constantly borrowing
sugar from each other.
483
00:19:46,177 --> 00:19:49,179
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
484
00:19:49,247 --> 00:19:51,348
I'm sorry,
mr. James.
485
00:19:51,416 --> 00:19:53,016
He's a little
emotional.
486
00:19:53,084 --> 00:19:55,786
He thinks you're writing
your music just for him.
487
00:19:55,853 --> 00:19:57,688
Come on, stan.
488
00:19:57,755 --> 00:20:00,624
Let's let the man get ready
for his show.
489
00:20:00,692 --> 00:20:01,692
Hold on.
490
00:20:01,759 --> 00:20:03,193
Stan, is it?
491
00:20:03,261 --> 00:20:06,096
Look, man, I'm flattered
you dig what we're doing.
492
00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:08,165
But I'm, uh, I'm not
thinking about you
493
00:20:08,232 --> 00:20:09,666
When I write these songs.
494
00:20:09,734 --> 00:20:11,335
That'd be impossible.
495
00:20:11,402 --> 00:20:12,903
We've never even met, man.
496
00:20:12,971 --> 00:20:15,572
Hey, is-is this
your daughter?
497
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,607
Wife.
Damn!
498
00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:19,910
She's the one
who understands you, man.
499
00:20:19,978 --> 00:20:22,546
You should be sharing your soul
with her, not me.
500
00:20:24,615 --> 00:20:26,583
Truth of the matter is,
501
00:20:26,651 --> 00:20:28,352
I sure ain't nothin' special.
502
00:20:28,419 --> 00:20:30,487
I put my pants on
one leg at a time,
503
00:20:30,555 --> 00:20:32,756
Just like everybody else.
504
00:20:32,824 --> 00:20:34,658
(whistles)
505
00:20:41,332 --> 00:20:43,200
Sorry I put you through
all this, honey.
506
00:20:43,267 --> 00:20:44,568
Don't be.
507
00:20:44,635 --> 00:20:47,004
I used to fall for these guys
all the time.
508
00:20:47,071 --> 00:20:48,905
But then I met you,
509
00:20:48,973 --> 00:20:51,775
And you became
my rock star.
510
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,479
Oh, mr. Smith,
511
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:57,848
I'm your biggest fan.
512
00:20:57,915 --> 00:21:00,751
(both moan)
513
00:21:07,258 --> 00:21:10,394
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com