1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:02,568
(upbeat March plays)
2
00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:05,438
¶ good morning, usa! ¶
3
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:09,342
¶ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ¶
4
00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:12,278
¶ the sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ¶
5
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:15,982
¶ and he's shining a salute
to the american race ¶
6
00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:22,054
¶ oh, boy, it's swell to say ¶
7
00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:24,223
¶ good morning, usa. ¶
8
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:27,093
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
9
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,962
And toyota. Moving forward.
10
00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:32,665
(brakes squeal)
11
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:36,469
Klaus, I brought you a present
from the cia lab.
12
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:39,972
A fish with a human brain,
just like me?
13
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:44,610
¶ at last... ¶
14
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,212
No, it's just a regular fish.
15
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,048
They took its retinas out for
an eye-scanning experiment.
16
00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:51,017
I brought the little blind guy
home to keep you company.
17
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:57,223
Well, enjoy.
18
00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:59,025
Hey there, beautiful.
19
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:00,993
Bring that body over here.
20
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,361
Mm...
(slapping loudly)
21
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:04,363
Stan, my fanny!
22
00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:06,098
¶ give me some of that
franny fanny ¶
23
00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:08,100
¶ give me some of
that franny fanny ¶
24
00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:10,469
¶ pump it up!
Pump it up! Pump it up! ¶
25
00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:12,238
Both: ¶ give me some of that
franny fanny! ¶
26
00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:14,440
¶ give me some of that
franny fanny! Give me... ¶
27
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:16,075
All right, enough of that.
It's clearly all chorus
28
00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:17,476
And I won't
be a part of it.
29
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:19,445
You know, you've been getting
that franny fanny
30
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,681
For almost 20 years.
What, now?
31
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:25,351
You do remember our 20th wedding
anniversary's coming up, right?
32
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,619
Of course.
33
00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:29,221
That's why I've planned
to, uh... To...
34
00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:32,692
Have a magical ceremony
to renew your vows.
35
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:33,726
Roger, that's
a terrible...
36
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:35,127
(smooching)
37
00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:38,831
Oh, stan. You always take
such good care of me.
38
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:42,034
Yep, I remember when stan came
to me months ago
39
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,302
And asked me
to plan the whole thing.
40
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:46,739
Right, stan?
41
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:47,940
Yes.
42
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:50,576
Great. Just cut me
that check for $6,800,
43
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:51,777
The budget
we agreed upon,
44
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:53,079
And I'll get started.
45
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:54,847
$6,800?
46
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,415
Oh, stan.
47
00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:59,685
I'm so lucky to be married
to such a good provider.
48
00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:03,222
Just make it out
to jeannie gold weddings.
49
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,790
Who's that?
Jeannie gold,
50
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:06,926
Wedding planner.
51
00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:08,961
This is my emergency
wedding kit.
52
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,330
Everything you need
for last-minute snafus--
53
00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:14,066
Needle and thread,
band-aids for sore heels,
54
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,469
Fake hymens for those
not-so-well-behaved
55
00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:17,970
Middle eastern brides.
56
00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:19,905
These beauties are packed
full of ox blood.
57
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,507
Trust me, that bedroom
will look like
58
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,909
The set of wes craven movie
the next morning.
59
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:30,116
You must be the children.
Jeannie gold.
60
00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:32,318
I wanted to discuss the gift
you're buying your parents
61
00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:33,552
For their anniversary.
62
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:34,687
I'm just going
to get them a card.
63
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:36,856
Sign my name to it,
"forever yours, s."
64
00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:38,090
They'll know.
65
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,492
You'll do better
than a card.
66
00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:42,128
It's their 20th.
China is the traditional gift.
67
00:02:42,195 --> 00:02:43,529
Leave us alone, roger.
68
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:46,032
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
69
00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:47,600
I went a little
ike turner,
70
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:48,801
Caught you
on the side of the head
71
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,102
So you can cover it
with your hair.
72
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,537
I don't want you bruised
for the photos.
73
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:52,772
That's how good I am.
74
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,140
Now find
a meaningful gift.
75
00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:55,808
Disappoint me
and next time,
76
00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,476
You'll be dealing
with valik.
Who?
77
00:02:57,544 --> 00:02:59,578
(russian accent):
Listen to jeannie
or I cut you.
78
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:04,483
Roger:
Two weeks from today, francine,
79
00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:06,552
You will be here,
walking down the aisle.
80
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,888
I've recreated the menu,
the flowers...
81
00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:11,357
I even have a string quartet
playing the score
82
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:12,558
From room with a view.
83
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,360
We didn't have that
at our wedding.
84
00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:16,862
After your reception, when you
and stan drove away in the limo,
85
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:19,098
You heard a song playing
from a third story window.
86
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,499
You didn't know what it was,
87
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:22,401
But secretly wished you had
walked down the aisle to it.
88
00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:23,769
How did you...
89
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:25,171
I never shared
that with anyone.
90
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,806
Last Wednesday,
when you were in the bath,
91
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,407
I snuck up
and ethered you good.
92
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:31,077
While in your twilight state,
you admitted your regret.
93
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:32,511
You hummed that song for me.
94
00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:35,314
I had a top musicologist
beside me and he identified it.
95
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,949
He saw me naked?
96
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,451
Honey, please.
He's a musicologist.
97
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:39,652
He sees it every day.
98
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,320
Here's the number
of my tailor.
99
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,621
He can let
your wedding dress out.
100
00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:43,889
Oh, I don't need to.
101
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,024
It still fits.
102
00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:47,393
Really? Look at you.
103
00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:48,961
She is just beautiful.
104
00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:50,496
That's the reason
I married her.
105
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,630
Well, that's not
the only reason.
106
00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:52,798
Yes, it is.
107
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:53,999
There was nothing else?
108
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,134
Nope.
109
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:56,335
Just my appearance?
110
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:57,470
That is correct.
111
00:03:57,537 --> 00:03:58,871
What he means is,
112
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:00,973
Your beauty emanates
from within.
113
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,508
No, I don't.
114
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:05,444
You know, I'm not so sure
I want to renew vows with...
115
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:07,079
Don't give up
on this, francine.
116
00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:08,380
There were good times.
117
00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:10,316
Think back.
He must have done something
118
00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:11,550
To show his love was true.
119
00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:12,785
(belches)
120
00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,086
Ignore that.
Steak-ums.
121
00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:15,888
Well, two weeks
before our wedding,
122
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:18,357
Stan and I agreed not
to see each other.
123
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,727
At the ceremony, when I
stepped out of the limo,
124
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:25,431
He ran to me, picked me
up and swung me around
125
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:29,101
And told me he never wanted
to be away from me again.
126
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:32,338
But now I realize
he only loved me for my looks.
127
00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:33,973
What? He was joking.
128
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,307
Stan, tell her.
129
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:37,977
Oh. Y-yeah, of course.
I was joking.
130
00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:39,512
I love you for more
than your looks.
131
00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:40,813
You have no sense of humor.
132
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:42,281
Good thing you're pretty.
133
00:04:42,349 --> 00:04:44,450
Oh, another joke.
Shut up, stan.
134
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:45,684
You're too funny.
135
00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:47,253
Okay, here's
what we're going to do.
136
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,622
Just like before, you won't
see each other for two weeks,
137
00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:52,491
Then we'll recreate your reunion
at the wedding.
138
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:55,394
I'll film the whole thing
and make it an extra on the dvd
139
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,930
Along with the musicologist
touching you in the bath.
140
00:04:57,998 --> 00:05:00,065
I'm kidding.
At least I think I'm kidding.
141
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,201
I left him alone with her for
a half hour while I took a nap.
142
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:03,235
What do you
say, honey?
143
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:08,040
Okay, roger.
Let's do it.
144
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:09,441
It's still on.
145
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:12,378
I'm jeannie gold,
wedding planner extraordinaire.
146
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:17,082
And a survivor.
147
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:22,221
He'll see you in two weeks,
just like before.
148
00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:24,089
(smooching)
149
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,592
I got to hand it to you.
You're doing a great job.
150
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,227
Are you hitting on me?
What?
151
00:05:28,295 --> 00:05:29,495
This happens all the time.
152
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:31,931
I will not let you
ruin your wedding.
153
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,700
I will give you a handy jay
to keep you out of trouble.
154
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,543
Can I help you
find something?
155
00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:45,711
We're looking for some china
156
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,780
For our parents
20th anniversary gift.
157
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,381
What do you have
for under 30 bucks?
158
00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:51,851
These porcelain
thimbles.
159
00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:53,152
We'll take them.
Them?
160
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:55,921
No, it's $30 for one.
161
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:59,358
Just put it in your
largest free box.
162
00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:00,759
I'll be paying
with a combination
163
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:03,395
Of change, check, and
the value of this dance.
164
00:06:03,463 --> 00:06:04,930
May I?
165
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:07,566
Oh, I shouldn't,
but yes.
166
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:09,501
(steve humming a waltz)
167
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,881
You! Idiot boy!
168
00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:23,349
Put some stones
on the bridal runner,
169
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:24,617
So the breeze won't take it.
170
00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:27,019
You, distribute these bags
of rice to the guests.
171
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:29,755
Our policy is not to throw
rice. It's bad for the birds.
172
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:31,624
Screw the birds! Here's
what I think of the birds!
173
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:35,694
(squawking)
174
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,796
Roger, where... Aw.
175
00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:38,998
Where's francine?
176
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,133
Francine is on her way
with her parents.
177
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,535
Stan, these are my sons
alex and ron.
178
00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:44,803
They're in columbia film school.
179
00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:46,205
How is that possible?
180
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:48,440
I know. I look too young
to have kids in college.
181
00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:49,975
No, that you have children
182
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,677
When your persona
is totally fabricated.
183
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:52,912
We are the music makers.
184
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:54,780
We are the dreamers of dreams.
185
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,582
That is an
unsatisfying answer.
186
00:06:58,785 --> 00:07:00,219
You kids bought the gift?
187
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:05,157
Oh, from landon's.
De-lovely!
188
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:07,026
You could put it
in a curio case.
189
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,394
You could sew with it.
190
00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:11,330
A little mouse
could wear it for a hat.
191
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:15,834
The boy is to die first.
192
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:16,835
(screams)
193
00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:17,870
(panting)
194
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,538
Man:
Here come the bride!
195
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:23,943
What happened?
196
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:25,411
Let me get that
for you, dear.
197
00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:27,446
Bite down on this.
198
00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:29,348
(whimpering)
199
00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:32,885
(screaming)
200
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,086
(smooching loudly)
201
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:35,688
Good as new.
Don't go into shock.
202
00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:36,922
Today's not about you.
203
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,691
Okay, everyone.
Places!
204
00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:41,060
(string quartet playing)
205
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:46,498
Mom, here she comes!
206
00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:50,469
I'm ready to renew our vows.
207
00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:53,138
(stan gasps)
alex, ronnie, cut!
208
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,940
Mama's not making
a monster movie.
209
00:07:58,915 --> 00:08:00,049
What are you looking for?
210
00:08:00,116 --> 00:08:01,917
The makeup guy from norbit.
211
00:08:01,985 --> 00:08:05,020
Rick baker, get out here,
you talented son of a bitch.
212
00:08:05,088 --> 00:08:07,323
Stan, this is me.
213
00:08:07,390 --> 00:08:09,024
What the hell happened?
214
00:08:09,092 --> 00:08:11,226
I stopped doing
my beauty regimen.
215
00:08:11,294 --> 00:08:13,195
And started her ugly regimen.
216
00:08:13,263 --> 00:08:14,997
(laughing)
217
00:08:15,065 --> 00:08:17,099
Oh, you boys keep me young.
218
00:08:17,167 --> 00:08:19,101
You don't know what it
takes for me to look good.
219
00:08:19,169 --> 00:08:20,502
After you leave for work,
220
00:08:20,570 --> 00:08:23,472
I do the treadmill
until I throw up.
221
00:08:23,540 --> 00:08:25,341
Then I go to my hairdresser
222
00:08:25,408 --> 00:08:27,343
Where I get my roots
touched up,
223
00:08:27,410 --> 00:08:31,080
Followed by a lunch
of iced tea and laxatives.
224
00:08:31,147 --> 00:08:33,882
Then I wax my arms, legs,
and eyebrows,
225
00:08:33,950 --> 00:08:35,651
While power lifting the couch
226
00:08:35,719 --> 00:08:37,586
To tone the fanny
you love so much.
227
00:08:39,089 --> 00:08:40,923
(gasps)
228
00:08:40,991 --> 00:08:42,224
(ripping and screaming)
229
00:08:42,292 --> 00:08:44,827
(grunting)
230
00:08:44,894 --> 00:08:47,696
(footfalls approaching)
231
00:08:47,764 --> 00:08:49,598
(heart pounding)
232
00:08:58,508 --> 00:09:00,709
Ha... Lo.
233
00:09:00,777 --> 00:09:01,810
Hey, beautiful.
234
00:09:03,213 --> 00:09:05,781
And I also stopped
wearing my retainer.
235
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:07,049
Why are you
doing this?
236
00:09:07,117 --> 00:09:10,152
Stan, we've been married
for 20 years,
237
00:09:10,220 --> 00:09:13,889
And all this time, you've only
appreciated me for my looks?
238
00:09:13,957 --> 00:09:17,059
I need you to love me
for who I am on the inside.
239
00:09:17,127 --> 00:09:19,028
He does.
He totally does!
240
00:09:19,095 --> 00:09:20,863
On with the show!
We'll meet you at the altar.
241
00:09:23,433 --> 00:09:25,968
Oh, man. She scared me.
You see that?
242
00:09:26,036 --> 00:09:27,369
I almost punched
her in the face.
243
00:09:27,437 --> 00:09:30,072
Stan, remember,
the first rule of any wedding
244
00:09:30,140 --> 00:09:32,074
Is the bride
is always beautiful.
245
00:09:32,142 --> 00:09:34,176
The second rule
you can read on my web site.
246
00:09:34,244 --> 00:09:35,978
You have to be 18
to log on.
247
00:09:36,046 --> 00:09:37,780
I have some sexy
barnyard stuff on there
248
00:09:37,847 --> 00:09:39,548
That is not for everyone.
249
00:09:39,616 --> 00:09:41,216
I could get in
a lot of trouble.
250
00:09:41,284 --> 00:09:42,384
If you do decide
to check it out,
251
00:09:42,452 --> 00:09:44,019
You need to clear
your history right away.
252
00:09:44,087 --> 00:09:45,788
You may need
to uninstall your browser.
253
00:09:45,855 --> 00:09:47,723
I'm telling you,
scrub that thing clean.
254
00:09:47,791 --> 00:09:49,591
If you think you're being
too cautious, you're not.
255
00:09:49,659 --> 00:09:51,794
They will take us both
to jail.
256
00:09:51,861 --> 00:09:54,163
("bridal chorus" plays)
257
00:09:54,230 --> 00:09:56,432
It's worse when
she's in motion.
258
00:09:56,499 --> 00:09:57,699
I can't go
through with this.
259
00:09:57,767 --> 00:09:59,168
I'm just going
to sneak out.
260
00:09:59,235 --> 00:10:01,570
I don't want to embarrass
anyone by making a scene.
261
00:10:01,638 --> 00:10:03,505
(slapping and crashing)
262
00:10:03,573 --> 00:10:05,240
(crashing, harp playing)
263
00:10:06,176 --> 00:10:09,111
(harp playing)
264
00:10:19,522 --> 00:10:22,324
Stan, can you get rid of this
fish corpse floating in my bowl?
265
00:10:22,392 --> 00:10:23,759
It's starting to bum me out.
266
00:10:23,827 --> 00:10:26,662
You ran out on
our wedding?!
267
00:10:26,729 --> 00:10:29,598
To be fair,
to be fair, francine,
268
00:10:29,666 --> 00:10:32,234
To be fair...
You're ugly.
269
00:10:32,302 --> 00:10:35,104
This was a test to see if
you loved me for who I am,
270
00:10:35,171 --> 00:10:36,705
And you failed!
271
00:10:36,773 --> 00:10:38,340
I wasn't in the mood
to be tested!
272
00:10:38,408 --> 00:10:40,209
Are you that shallow, stan?
273
00:10:40,276 --> 00:10:44,179
If after 20 years of marriage,
you can find nothing more
274
00:10:44,247 --> 00:10:46,281
To love about me than my looks,
275
00:10:46,349 --> 00:10:48,817
Then I don't even know
why we're married.
276
00:10:48,885 --> 00:10:52,754
Either you love me for who I am,
or lose me forever.
277
00:10:54,591 --> 00:10:56,625
Okay, okay.
278
00:10:56,693 --> 00:10:58,760
If it means
that much to you,
279
00:10:58,828 --> 00:11:00,696
I'll try to get to know
the real you.
280
00:11:00,763 --> 00:11:01,864
Honest?
281
00:11:01,931 --> 00:11:03,132
Honest.
282
00:11:03,199 --> 00:11:06,001
It'll be like dating
all over again.
283
00:11:06,069 --> 00:11:08,737
Only this time, you'll be
the one with the moustache.
284
00:11:10,907 --> 00:11:12,074
But, stan, wait!
285
00:11:12,142 --> 00:11:13,242
The fish!
286
00:11:13,309 --> 00:11:14,409
(sighs)
287
00:11:14,477 --> 00:11:16,478
Well, I guess I could
make love to it
288
00:11:16,546 --> 00:11:19,114
One more time before
the stench makes me vomit.
289
00:11:25,588 --> 00:11:27,723
This is fun, huh?
290
00:11:30,593 --> 00:11:31,460
There you go.
291
00:11:34,531 --> 00:11:37,299
There it is.
292
00:11:40,904 --> 00:11:43,505
Stan, an orthodox
jewish service
293
00:11:43,573 --> 00:11:45,641
Is a very strange
place for a date.
294
00:11:45,708 --> 00:11:48,377
Did you take me here so you
wouldn't have to look at me?
295
00:11:48,444 --> 00:11:49,378
Francine, please.
296
00:11:49,445 --> 00:11:50,579
The torah is out of the ark.
297
00:11:50,647 --> 00:11:52,247
Show some respect.
298
00:11:52,315 --> 00:11:55,784
¶ barachu adanoi hamvoraoh
laolom va-ed. ¶
299
00:11:55,852 --> 00:11:57,953
(stan and francine panting)
300
00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,522
I knew you could
get past my looks.
301
00:12:00,590 --> 00:12:01,857
(sighs)
302
00:12:01,925 --> 00:12:03,325
A hundred and nine.
303
00:12:03,393 --> 00:12:05,227
A hundred and nine what?
304
00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:09,231
That's it, stan!
305
00:12:09,299 --> 00:12:10,465
We're through!
306
00:12:12,635 --> 00:12:14,436
I want you out of this house!
307
00:12:14,504 --> 00:12:15,504
No, you don't.
308
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:18,941
Whoa, whoa, francine,
be careful!
309
00:12:19,008 --> 00:12:20,275
Lift with your
fat ugly legs,
310
00:12:20,343 --> 00:12:21,376
Not your fat
ugly back.
311
00:12:26,149 --> 00:12:28,317
I forgot my bathroom key.
312
00:12:28,384 --> 00:12:29,451
So, you're here late?
313
00:12:29,519 --> 00:12:30,886
Yeah, I got to clean up
314
00:12:30,954 --> 00:12:32,721
After all those animals
you folks blinded.
315
00:12:32,789 --> 00:12:33,889
(squawks)
316
00:12:33,957 --> 00:12:35,190
Oh, looks like one got out.
317
00:12:35,258 --> 00:12:36,625
No, I left the
cages open.
318
00:12:36,693 --> 00:12:39,494
I can't afford to go
to the movies, so...
319
00:12:39,562 --> 00:12:41,296
This makes me laugh.
320
00:12:41,364 --> 00:12:42,664
I could use
a good laugh.
321
00:12:42,732 --> 00:12:43,999
My wife kicked me out.
322
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:45,000
Ooh.
323
00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:46,268
Is she fine?
324
00:12:46,336 --> 00:12:47,636
'cause I'll give
a fine bitch a call.
325
00:12:47,704 --> 00:12:48,904
No, she's not fine.
326
00:12:48,972 --> 00:12:49,871
That's the problem.
327
00:12:49,939 --> 00:12:51,440
I can't stand the sight of her.
328
00:12:51,507 --> 00:12:52,441
But I love her.
329
00:12:52,508 --> 00:12:53,609
I mean, she's my wife.
330
00:12:53,676 --> 00:12:55,944
Well, you better
do something quick.
331
00:12:56,012 --> 00:12:59,848
'cause you know they miss you
at first, but that wears off.
332
00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:02,184
I don't know what to do.
333
00:13:02,252 --> 00:13:03,085
(monkey squawking)
334
00:13:05,288 --> 00:13:08,890
(laughing)
335
00:13:08,958 --> 00:13:11,860
That stupid monkey.
336
00:13:15,531 --> 00:13:16,531
Hello, stan.
337
00:13:16,599 --> 00:13:17,866
I got your message.
338
00:13:17,934 --> 00:13:20,002
Oh, francine, thank
you for meeting me.
339
00:13:20,069 --> 00:13:22,004
Look, I know I've been
acting like an ass,
340
00:13:22,071 --> 00:13:23,372
But I'm committed
to this.
341
00:13:23,439 --> 00:13:24,940
Committed to us.
342
00:13:25,008 --> 00:13:26,475
Oh, stan.
343
00:13:26,542 --> 00:13:29,278
You're meeting me
in a public, well-lit place.
344
00:13:29,345 --> 00:13:30,545
You're really trying.
345
00:13:30,613 --> 00:13:32,047
I really am.
346
00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:35,250
I already ordered some wine
so we can toast to our future.
347
00:13:35,318 --> 00:13:38,220
There's a dog
doing a handstand on the label.
348
00:13:38,288 --> 00:13:40,088
Stan, we can't
afford this.
349
00:13:40,156 --> 00:13:43,458
Nothing but the best
for my lady.
350
00:13:43,526 --> 00:13:45,093
Oh, I'll go
get a towel.
351
00:13:45,161 --> 00:13:46,962
That's okay,
I'll just use my napkin.
352
00:13:47,030 --> 00:13:49,197
That's better.
353
00:13:49,265 --> 00:13:50,999
Stan, what is
going on with you?
354
00:13:51,067 --> 00:13:53,602
I love you, francine, and
I didn't want to lose you,
355
00:13:53,670 --> 00:13:55,637
But I can't get
past your looks.
356
00:13:55,705 --> 00:13:59,107
So I did the only sensible thing
a man in my position would do.
357
00:13:59,175 --> 00:14:00,876
I had my
retinas removed.
358
00:14:00,943 --> 00:14:01,810
I'm completely
blind!
359
00:14:01,878 --> 00:14:02,778
(gasps)
360
00:14:02,845 --> 00:14:04,279
A toast! To us.
361
00:14:09,407 --> 00:14:11,808
I can't believe
what stan did.
362
00:14:11,876 --> 00:14:13,644
Wait!
363
00:14:15,613 --> 00:14:16,813
Ready.
364
00:14:16,881 --> 00:14:18,515
He took his
retinas out!
365
00:14:18,583 --> 00:14:20,017
Does this story
come with a dictionary?
366
00:14:20,084 --> 00:14:21,251
I don't know
what retinas are.
367
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:22,252
What are you telling me?!
368
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,187
He blinded himself.
369
00:14:24,255 --> 00:14:26,390
Oh. So where is
the big dope?
370
00:14:26,457 --> 00:14:27,958
Oh, for the
love of...
371
00:14:28,026 --> 00:14:31,895
So jackson's grandmother went
to law school in the '30s, okay?
372
00:14:31,963 --> 00:14:33,163
That is a
strong woman.
373
00:14:33,231 --> 00:14:35,699
Come on, stan!
374
00:14:35,767 --> 00:14:37,634
You are unbelievable!
375
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:39,603
I did it to save our marriage.
376
00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:41,104
My eyes were getting me
into trouble,
377
00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:43,206
So I had the cia
take my retinas out.
378
00:14:43,274 --> 00:14:45,976
Now that I'm blind, I can
fall in love with your insides.
379
00:14:46,044 --> 00:14:47,778
Then I'll be able
to stomach your outside.
380
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:50,280
I'll be like
joan cusack's husband.
381
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:51,682
(sobbing)
382
00:14:51,749 --> 00:14:55,552
When grandma ling
was on her deathbed,
383
00:14:55,620 --> 00:14:58,121
She said,
"look into my eyes, francine,
384
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:00,190
And you'll never be alone."
385
00:15:00,258 --> 00:15:03,860
And I did,
and it made me feel so safe!
386
00:15:03,928 --> 00:15:07,030
And now I can't even look
my own husband in the eyes.
387
00:15:07,098 --> 00:15:09,933
That's the most moving story
I've ever heard.
388
00:15:10,001 --> 00:15:13,036
I must have told you that
story at least 30 times.
389
00:15:13,104 --> 00:15:15,405
Yes, but this is
the first time I listened.
390
00:15:15,473 --> 00:15:16,974
I want to know
everything about you.
391
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,475
Really?
392
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:20,377
Well, I was born
September 26.
393
00:15:20,445 --> 00:15:21,378
You're a libra!
394
00:15:21,446 --> 00:15:22,379
I need to know more!
395
00:15:22,447 --> 00:15:23,380
Where are you from?
396
00:15:23,448 --> 00:15:24,715
Do you have any children?
397
00:15:25,650 --> 00:15:27,417
What's in this?
398
00:15:27,485 --> 00:15:28,485
It's fantastic!
399
00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:29,886
I make this all the time.
400
00:15:29,954 --> 00:15:33,123
I guess I never truly
tasted your cooking before.
401
00:15:33,191 --> 00:15:35,859
You're such an intriguing
woman, francine.
402
00:15:35,927 --> 00:15:37,194
Tell me
your dreams.
403
00:15:37,261 --> 00:15:39,029
Where do you park when
you go the airport?
404
00:15:39,097 --> 00:15:40,897
Parking lot c.
405
00:15:43,601 --> 00:15:45,869
(moaning)
406
00:15:45,937 --> 00:15:47,504
Oh, stan.
407
00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:50,540
Without your eyesight, you've
become a much better lover.
408
00:15:50,608 --> 00:15:52,876
I'm just so in tune
with your body.
409
00:15:52,944 --> 00:15:55,045
I'm gonna slap
your big round ass.
410
00:15:55,113 --> 00:15:56,713
Damn right you are.
411
00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:58,482
Ow! That's my head!
412
00:15:58,549 --> 00:16:00,050
Roger?! What are
you doing in here?
413
00:16:00,118 --> 00:16:02,486
I just came to tell you
that jeannie gold's business
414
00:16:02,553 --> 00:16:03,720
Is ruined because of you,
415
00:16:03,788 --> 00:16:06,590
And then I kind of
got caught up in the show.
416
00:16:06,658 --> 00:16:08,925
Well, tell jeannie she'll
get another chance.
417
00:16:08,993 --> 00:16:11,328
We're going to go ahead
and renew our vows.
418
00:16:11,396 --> 00:16:13,397
That is, if
you'll have me.
419
00:16:13,464 --> 00:16:15,899
Oh, stan, of course I will.
420
00:16:15,967 --> 00:16:18,869
It's last minute, but I can
get us the willow room.
421
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:20,537
It'll take all
of my radisson points,
422
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,072
But what am I saving them for?
423
00:16:22,140 --> 00:16:23,340
A man? Ha!
424
00:16:23,408 --> 00:16:25,042
I'm too set in my ways.
425
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,711
Alex trebek, a chamomile tea
and a chapter of little women
426
00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:29,112
And I'm out by 8:15.
427
00:16:31,683 --> 00:16:33,617
Mom and dad are gonna
love this present.
428
00:16:33,685 --> 00:16:35,786
How much longer do we
have to sit like this?
429
00:16:35,853 --> 00:16:37,788
He's putting on the
finishing touches.
430
00:16:39,757 --> 00:16:41,491
Ooh, the muses
have taken him.
431
00:16:45,496 --> 00:16:48,165
He's done!
432
00:16:48,232 --> 00:16:50,133
Hayley:
Wow, it's beautiful.
433
00:16:50,201 --> 00:16:52,069
Yeah, I'm surprised
how good it is.
434
00:17:03,047 --> 00:17:04,581
Oh, no!
435
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:06,149
The vows ceremony
is tomorrow.
436
00:17:06,217 --> 00:17:07,184
What are we
gonna do?!
437
00:17:07,251 --> 00:17:08,351
Valik's gonna kill us!
438
00:17:08,419 --> 00:17:09,352
(groans)
439
00:17:09,420 --> 00:17:10,987
My scar's burning.
440
00:17:11,055 --> 00:17:12,556
He's thinking
of me!
441
00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:17,027
(chuckles)
what?
442
00:17:17,095 --> 00:17:19,129
I notice you let out
little farts all the time.
443
00:17:19,197 --> 00:17:21,098
It's cute. They don't
even smell that bad.
444
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:22,899
This one does,
but usually they don't.
445
00:17:22,967 --> 00:17:25,736
I can't wait to renew
our vows tomorrow.
446
00:17:25,803 --> 00:17:28,772
In some strange
way, your blindness
447
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,441
Is the best thing that
has ever happened to us.
448
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,143
(moans)
449
00:17:33,211 --> 00:17:34,644
You're right.
450
00:17:34,712 --> 00:17:37,647
My plan was to get it reversed,
but being blind is great.
451
00:17:37,715 --> 00:17:39,616
It's given
our relationship depth.
452
00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:42,018
Now you won't have to spend
all day making yourself pretty.
453
00:17:42,086 --> 00:17:44,187
You can take care of me
full-time.
What?
454
00:17:44,255 --> 00:17:45,722
Except, of course,
when you're at work.
455
00:17:45,790 --> 00:17:46,757
Work?
456
00:17:46,824 --> 00:17:48,525
I'm a blind bastard,
francine.
457
00:17:48,593 --> 00:17:50,227
You'll be providing
for the family now.
458
00:17:50,294 --> 00:17:51,661
I can't be
a provider.
459
00:17:51,729 --> 00:17:52,963
Sure you can.
460
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:55,766
Let's see, what kind of job
can an ugly person do?
461
00:17:55,833 --> 00:17:58,635
Run the equipment
sign-out room at a ymca.
462
00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,804
You could wrap flowers
in a supermarket.
463
00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:02,405
Manage a jo-ann fabrics.
464
00:18:02,473 --> 00:18:04,441
Think about it, francine:
Management.
465
00:18:04,509 --> 00:18:07,277
You're not filipino,
so you can't be a nurse.
466
00:18:10,448 --> 00:18:12,449
(organ playing softly)
467
00:18:12,517 --> 00:18:13,884
I'm sure she's
on her way.
468
00:18:13,951 --> 00:18:16,219
She's only three
hours late.
469
00:18:16,287 --> 00:18:17,888
Padre, stop
looking so tense.
470
00:18:17,955 --> 00:18:19,089
You're stressing
everyone out.
471
00:18:19,157 --> 00:18:20,657
You need to relax.
472
00:18:22,827 --> 00:18:24,227
You bitch!
473
00:18:24,295 --> 00:18:25,929
You left me and
stan at the altar!
474
00:18:25,997 --> 00:18:27,564
You made
fools of us!
475
00:18:27,632 --> 00:18:29,065
You are going to
apologize to me,
476
00:18:29,133 --> 00:18:30,200
And you're going
to apologize to...
477
00:18:31,669 --> 00:18:32,636
Oh, for the love of...
478
00:18:34,806 --> 00:18:37,474
Come on, stan!
479
00:18:38,810 --> 00:18:39,910
Francine!
480
00:18:39,977 --> 00:18:41,411
Are you in
the room?
481
00:18:41,479 --> 00:18:43,280
I smell chicken fingers, so
I know you're in the room.
482
00:18:43,347 --> 00:18:45,215
I'm here.
483
00:18:45,283 --> 00:18:48,218
I can't believe
you didn't show.
484
00:18:48,286 --> 00:18:50,554
You know why
I didn't show?
485
00:18:50,621 --> 00:18:53,223
I didn't get married
to take care of somebody!
486
00:18:53,291 --> 00:18:55,792
I got married
to be taken care of!
487
00:18:55,860 --> 00:18:57,060
I'm not the
bad guy here.
488
00:18:57,128 --> 00:18:58,228
You're the one
who doesn't want
489
00:18:58,296 --> 00:18:59,529
To be with me
because I'm blind.
490
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,398
I don't want
to be a provider.
491
00:19:01,465 --> 00:19:03,099
And I don't want
an ugly wife.
492
00:19:03,167 --> 00:19:06,770
Well, I-I guess I'm just
as shallow as you are.
493
00:19:06,838 --> 00:19:08,672
I guess you are.
494
00:19:08,739 --> 00:19:10,974
So what if we got married
for surface reasons?
495
00:19:11,042 --> 00:19:12,676
It works.
You're right.
496
00:19:12,743 --> 00:19:14,377
Why fix something
that's not broken?
497
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:15,745
Absolutely.
498
00:19:15,813 --> 00:19:18,215
We may be shallow,
but our love is deep.
499
00:19:20,017 --> 00:19:21,351
(both moan)
500
00:19:21,419 --> 00:19:23,153
The vows are back on.
501
00:19:23,221 --> 00:19:25,655
Okay, we blew the budget on
the first two ceremonies.
502
00:19:25,723 --> 00:19:27,023
Not sure how,
503
00:19:27,091 --> 00:19:29,860
But jeannie gold is going
to make it spectacular!
504
00:19:31,562 --> 00:19:32,796
¶ ¶
505
00:19:32,864 --> 00:19:35,899
¶ ¶
506
00:19:38,169 --> 00:19:40,136
I promise, when
you start to sag,
507
00:19:40,204 --> 00:19:42,672
To subject you to
risky elective surgery.
508
00:19:42,740 --> 00:19:44,341
And I promise
to be with you
509
00:19:44,408 --> 00:19:46,910
Only if you make money
and stay healthy.
510
00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:48,378
Alzheimer's runs
in my family.
511
00:19:48,446 --> 00:19:50,780
You'll be
dealing with that solo.
512
00:19:50,848 --> 00:19:52,148
I had no
budget left.
513
00:19:52,216 --> 00:19:54,150
I went to the party store
and bought the leftover
514
00:19:54,218 --> 00:19:56,386
Thanksgiving decorations
from the half-price bin.
515
00:19:56,454 --> 00:19:57,988
I think you did
a great job, mom.
516
00:19:58,055 --> 00:20:00,123
I did when I made you.
517
00:20:00,191 --> 00:20:03,727
Ladies and gentlemen, it is
my honor to present to you
518
00:20:03,794 --> 00:20:05,095
Once again
as husband and wife...
519
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:06,997
Man: Could we get
more garlic bread?
520
00:20:07,064 --> 00:20:10,367
...Stan and
francine smith!
521
00:20:10,434 --> 00:20:13,470
Move it along. We only have
the place for another half hour.
522
00:20:13,537 --> 00:20:15,038
Who wants orange?
523
00:20:15,106 --> 00:20:16,006
Root beer?
524
00:20:16,073 --> 00:20:17,474
I got two light beers.
525
00:20:17,541 --> 00:20:19,809
They were on the dashboard
of my car for a long time.
526
00:20:19,877 --> 00:20:21,077
They are hot to the touch.
527
00:20:21,145 --> 00:20:22,112
Anybody?
528
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,580
They do not have dessert here,
529
00:20:23,648 --> 00:20:25,215
But I brought a bag
of chips ahoy.
530
00:20:25,283 --> 00:20:27,617
I was keeping it in a cooler
so the chocolate chips
531
00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:29,719
Wouldn't melt, but the water
soaked through the bag.
532
00:20:29,787 --> 00:20:31,655
Long story short,
some of the cookies are wet.
533
00:20:31,722 --> 00:20:33,590
I'll spread them out
over here in the sun.
534
00:20:33,658 --> 00:20:35,225
Help yourselves.
Everyone having a good time?
535
00:20:35,293 --> 00:20:36,293
Best wedding ever, right?
536
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:37,360
I'm ruined.
537
00:20:37,428 --> 00:20:40,497
¶ ¶
538
00:20:40,564 --> 00:20:42,165
Have you seen
steve and hayley?
539
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,336
(squawks)
540
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:52,342
That maniac valik
will never find us here.
541
00:21:00,651 --> 00:21:08,254
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com