1 00:00:01,523 --> 00:00:03,090 ♪♪ 2 00:00:03,133 --> 00:00:04,526 Listen up! 3 00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:06,180 Your usual driver's ed teacher 4 00:00:06,223 --> 00:00:08,617 is at the courthouse fighting for his driver's license 5 00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:10,619 due to the fallout from the holiday party. 6 00:00:10,662 --> 00:00:12,969 In his defense,the greatest driver in the world 7 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,276 couldn't have outrun the cops in his condition. 8 00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:18,496 These are your learner's permits. 9 00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:20,194 Before you get them, I need to know 10 00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:23,110 who will be supervising your behind-the-wheel hours. 11 00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:23,936 Steve? 12 00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:25,199 My dad -- Stan. 13 00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:27,288 Ah, yes, dads are great. 14 00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:29,725 Mine was an alcoholic. But the fun kind. 15 00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:31,988 So don't go gettin' all sad on me, Smith. 16 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:32,902 Next. 17 00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:35,296 Toshi, I'm skipping over you 18 00:00:35,339 --> 00:00:37,298 because you refuse to learn English. 19 00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:38,081 Barry? 20 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,127 My father's name is Dad! 21 00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:41,780 Sounds like a great driver. 22 00:00:41,824 --> 00:00:43,521 And, Snot, who's teaching you? 23 00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:45,523 My dad's no longer with us. 24 00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:48,961 No problem, you got a hot mom --I mean mom. 25 00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:50,267 Redundant much, Brian? 26 00:00:50,311 --> 00:00:52,182 [ Chuckles ] Hot mom. 27 00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:54,358 Your daddy's dead. 28 00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:56,795 You're a freeeak. 29 00:00:56,839 --> 00:00:59,581 ♪♪ 30 00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:01,713 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. 31 00:01:01,757 --> 00:01:05,543 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 32 00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:08,677 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 33 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:13,334 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 34 00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:18,339 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say 35 00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:21,124 ♪ Good -- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. 36 00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:22,125 Aah! 37 00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:26,782 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. 38 00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:29,045 ♪♪ 39 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:32,701 Aww, Schmuley, why you got your head in a poof? 40 00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:34,964 Well, I was in driver's ed today, 41 00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:37,923 and all the other kidsare getting their dadsto teach them, 42 00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:41,275 and it just reminded methat I don't have a dad -- 43 00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:43,364 Driver's ed?! No sir! 44 00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:44,843 Get driving outta your head. 45 00:01:44,887 --> 00:01:46,410 It is too dangerous! 46 00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:48,412 There's the fumes, the tires, 47 00:01:48,456 --> 00:01:50,588 all the people flippin' the bird! 48 00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:53,156 If Dad was here, he'd teach me. 49 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:57,073 I knew his death wouldaffect my life eventually! 50 00:01:57,117 --> 00:02:00,250 Thanks again for taking me driving, Mr. Tuttle. 51 00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:01,643 And thank you for interrupting me 52 00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:03,949 from cold callingpeople in the phone book 53 00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:05,299 for human interaction. 54 00:02:05,342 --> 00:02:07,518 Okay, first, you're gonna wannafasten your seatbelt. 55 00:02:07,562 --> 00:02:08,824 [ Seatbelt clicks ] 56 00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:11,522 Check your mirrors. 57 00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:14,525 Grip the steering wheel at 10:00 and 2:00. 58 00:02:14,569 --> 00:02:18,312 And now drive to the hospital.I'm having a heart attack. 59 00:02:18,355 --> 00:02:19,835 What?! To the hospital. 60 00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:22,968 I know my body, and itis attacking my heart. 61 00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:25,232 But I don't know how --Just drive! 62 00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:26,320 [ Engine revs, tires screech ] 63 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:27,973 I'm going backwards! 64 00:02:28,017 --> 00:02:29,410 That's called reverse. 65 00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:31,803 If I survive,I'll teach you forwards. 66 00:02:31,847 --> 00:02:35,285 Whoa-a-a-a-a... 67 00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:37,461 Boom, bitch. 68 00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,333 Don't say "boom bitch"to your father. 69 00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:40,682 It's my learner's permit. 70 00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:42,466 Whaddya say? Will you take me driving? 71 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,773 Uh, I'd love to, but something came up. 72 00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:49,212 And what came up is-z-z-z-z-z... 73 00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:53,434 ...z-z-z-z-z-z-z... 74 00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:58,439 ...a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a......z-z-z-z-z-z-z... 75 00:02:58,482 --> 00:02:59,875 [ Engine starts ] 76 00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:02,007 [ Tires screech ] 77 00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:04,358 Haaaayles? 78 00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:07,012 Sorry, Steve. I'm working special detail for Sub Hub. 79 00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:09,667 Driving a truckload of salami down to Florida. 80 00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:11,278 'Sgotta get there or some shit. 81 00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:14,368 But that's perfect.I can drive when you get tired. 82 00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:16,239 [ Sighs ] Alright, you can come. 83 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,501 But no bathroom breaks. 84 00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:20,287 You'll pee in a 2007 X Games souvenir cup 85 00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:21,897 like the rest of us. 86 00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:26,031 [ Tires screech ] 87 00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:27,859 [ Groans ] 88 00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:30,471 It's family only beyond here. 89 00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:32,516 Is this man your father? 90 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,039 No, he's not. 91 00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,302 Man: But I am! 92 00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:36,477 [ Gasps ] 93 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,653 A man... who knew your father. 94 00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:41,351 You knew my dad?Dick Keebler. 95 00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:42,396 Good to meetcha, good to meetcha. 96 00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:44,311 Sorry 'bout my sweaty-ass hand. 97 00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:45,529 I got hyperhidrosis. 98 00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:46,617 Feels normal to me -- 99 00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:48,619 I also got hyperglycemia, hypertension, 100 00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:50,099 and I'm a hypochondriac. 101 00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:52,101 Doctor says that's the one that's gonna get me. 102 00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:54,625 Pff. Hey, you think I could dig up an MRI 103 00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:56,540 in this joint without talking to anyone? 104 00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:57,454 I don't think so. 105 00:03:57,498 --> 00:03:59,369 Were you gonna talk about my dad? 106 00:03:59,413 --> 00:04:01,066 Pff. I was his co-pilot. 107 00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:02,546 My dad was a pilot? 108 00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,461 Nah. On the demolition derby circuit. 109 00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:06,289 Cars. Ever heard of 'em? Pff. 110 00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:07,943 C'mon, I'll tell you about your dad. 111 00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:10,511 Fun fact -- We were blood brothers. 112 00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:11,947 I gave him hepatitis. 113 00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:14,428 His eyes were the color of mustard. 114 00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,647 Roger: Lanceton Raceway Park. 115 00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:19,737 Home to the demolition derby and the weekly swap meet. 116 00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:22,871 No matter the year, it's always the '70s there. 117 00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:25,439 Your dad, Lonny, drove the Red Rammer. 118 00:04:25,482 --> 00:04:26,701 Damn car was unstoppable. 119 00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:28,224 Pssh. Famous too. 120 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,444 It was in the movie "Mother, Jugs & Speed." 121 00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:32,141 Snot:I...haven't seen that. 122 00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:34,883 It was the car that ran that bus full of nuns off the road. 123 00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:36,972 [ Laughs ] Betcha remember that scene. 124 00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:39,453 No, I -- I haven't seen it -- 125 00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:40,715 Good stuff, you remember. 126 00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,543 Mr. Keebler, I'm sorry, 127 00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:43,718 but this guy you're describing 128 00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:45,981 doesn't sound likethe dad Inever knew. 129 00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:49,463 Pssh. The way I saw you haulin' ass in reverse, derby style? 130 00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:51,203 You're Lonny's kid, alright. 131 00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:52,379 Pff. Derby's in your blood. 132 00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:55,556 Derby racing. In myblood. 133 00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:57,253 Surprised you don't know about him. 134 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,037 Didn't he leave you the Red Rammer when he croaked? 135 00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:01,475 All I've got of my dad'sis a huge shoe 136 00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:04,042 I found in the garagethat I thinkwas his. 137 00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:05,609 I wear it around the house sometimes 138 00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:08,612 and pretend I haveone really big foot. 139 00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:09,613 It's lame, I know. 140 00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:11,136 Nah, that's normal. 141 00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,921 I wear my dead mom's heels around the house 142 00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,618 and pretend I have a big ol' vagina. 143 00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:16,490 Pff.Was my dad any good? 144 00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:17,708 The best. 145 00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:19,275 He was always slammin' into everybody. 146 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,363 That sounds bad. 147 00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,756 Nah, that's how you win. 148 00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,497 Destroy the other cars. 149 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,368 I was your dad's spotter -- 150 00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:26,500 his eyes and ears out there. 151 00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:27,588 [ Glass shatters ] 152 00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:28,502 Car! 153 00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:29,851 [ Glass shatters ] 154 00:05:29,894 --> 00:05:30,373 Car! 155 00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:32,070 [ Glass shatters ] 156 00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:32,941 Car! 157 00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:34,246 [ Thud ] 158 00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,597 Holy crap! There she is! 159 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,599 Can we just stay focused on my dad? 160 00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:40,252 Right, right. We never lost. 161 00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:41,950 But Ilost... 162 00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:44,431 Lost controlof my blood sugar... 163 00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:48,173 ♪♪ 164 00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:49,740 Roger: Your dad put his foot on the dash 165 00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:51,655 to do his signature move, 166 00:05:51,699 --> 00:05:53,483 the Skidrokyo Drift. 167 00:05:53,527 --> 00:05:54,528 [ Tires screech ] 168 00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:55,877 [ Bang ] 169 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,487 ♪♪ 170 00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:58,793 And my blood sugar was tanking. 171 00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:00,882 Did I mention I'm also diabetic? 172 00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:02,579 Seven doctors said it's all in my head. 173 00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:05,582 Pff. I didn't even know there was brain diabetes. 174 00:06:05,626 --> 00:06:06,540 [ Engine revs ] 175 00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:10,065 [ Muffled shouting ] 176 00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:10,761 [ Bang, glass shatters ] 177 00:06:10,805 --> 00:06:12,459 [ Cheers and applause ] 178 00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:13,982 Lonny injured his neck so bad, 179 00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:16,593 he couldn't turn his head to the right to drive in reverse. 180 00:06:16,637 --> 00:06:18,508 Snot: So he had to quit.Nope. 181 00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:19,988 Went to England to race. 182 00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:22,251 Steering wheels are on the otherside over there. Pff. 183 00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:24,819 So that's why he left us.[ MRI beeping ] 184 00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:28,083 Mr. Keebler, I'd liketo know more about my dad. 185 00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:28,779 Pff. 186 00:06:28,823 --> 00:06:30,346 Is "Pff" a bad thing? 187 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,478 [ Whirs ]It can be. 188 00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:32,653 That was a good one, though. 189 00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,568 I'm gonna do more than tell you about your dad, 190 00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:36,570 I'm gonna teach you to be like him. 191 00:06:36,613 --> 00:06:38,354 Teach you how to derby. 192 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,443 This is gonna be so cool! 193 00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:42,576 I'll bring Dad's big shoe! 194 00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:44,665 Pff. That was a bad "Pff." 195 00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,667 Shoe stays at home. Pff. 196 00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:48,320 That one means I'm thirsty. 197 00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:49,713 [ Birds chirping ] 198 00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:51,323 [ Radio crackles ]This is Headband Dynamite, 199 00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:53,717 I'm sittin' bumpy at a cardboard red Popsicle, over. 200 00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:56,503 Man: [ Through CB radio ] That is a big 10-4, Headband! 201 00:06:56,546 --> 00:06:58,679 Pavement Pouncer here, over! 202 00:06:58,722 --> 00:06:59,680 Whoa, this works? 203 00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:01,464 I was just goofin'! 204 00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:02,509 Hayley?! 205 00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:04,685 It says that the salamiwe're transporting 206 00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,251 is highly explosive! 207 00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:07,601 Well, the chemicals in the preservatives 208 00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:09,037 are pretty volatile. 209 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,865 And all that salami's loose back there, 210 00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:13,258 just slices floppin' around. 211 00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:14,477 Super illegal. 212 00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:16,479 But if you think about it, 213 00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:20,091 aren't we all just loose slices floppin' around? 214 00:07:20,135 --> 00:07:23,704 Uh...take 193 South. 215 00:07:23,747 --> 00:07:25,619 Nope. Gotta do all back roads. 216 00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:27,621 Can't risk getting pulled over. 217 00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:29,884 Plus, we get to hit up some rural strip clubs. 218 00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:31,494 Those backwoods beauties have 219 00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,714 bushes that'll knock your teeth out. 220 00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:34,628 [ Horn blares ] 221 00:07:34,671 --> 00:07:36,543 [ Tires hiss ] 222 00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:39,328 ♪♪ 223 00:07:39,371 --> 00:07:40,851 Schmuley, you're back! 224 00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:42,853 I was so worried about you. 225 00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:45,769 Worried I'd find out Dad was a derby driver? 226 00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:47,075 [ Gasps ] Keebla. 227 00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:49,294 That's right, it wasKeebler! 228 00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:52,167 And I'm finally hearing stories about Dad! 229 00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:53,647 Which I never get from you! 230 00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:55,910 I don't want you hanging outwith that Keebla. 231 00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:58,216 I'm doing more than hanging out with him. 232 00:07:58,260 --> 00:08:00,567 I'm learning to drive from him. 233 00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,743 [ Car horn plays "La Cucaracha" in distance ] 234 00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:07,748 I think we can all guess whose horn thatis. 235 00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:08,575 [ Door opens, slams ] 236 00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:12,579 [ Horn continues ] 237 00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:13,971 Welcome to my Miata. 238 00:08:14,015 --> 00:08:16,670 This is James. James, Snot. 239 00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:18,236 I'm driving for Uber Two-Seater. 240 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,717 And before you say that's not a thing, it's not. 241 00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:22,327 Way to go, James, you blew it. 242 00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:26,114 Kid saw right through you. Just get out. 243 00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:27,550 See you tomorrow, James![ Engine starts ] 244 00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:29,117 I know it's not a great first impression, 245 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,206 but what do you think of James? 246 00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:37,125 So this is Raceway Park. 247 00:08:37,168 --> 00:08:39,127 Where my dad used to derby. 248 00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,782 Yep. And he used to do his derbyin' 249 00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:43,261 with the Derby Donkeys. 250 00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:46,787 Hey, Donkeys, this here's Lonny Lonstein's poo stain. 251 00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:48,179 [ Sniffs ] 252 00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:52,793 Well, I'll be, stinks just like Lonny! 253 00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:53,707 Just like Lonny. 254 00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:55,839 Got Lonny's ugly smile too! 255 00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:57,406 Ugly smile too. 256 00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:59,147 'Course, Lonny didn'trepeat everything 257 00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:01,802 like some damn trick bird. 258 00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,847 Let's get away from this guy. 259 00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:06,807 So, kid, if I'm gonna train ya, we're gonna need a car. 260 00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:07,721 You really don't know 261 00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:09,244 what happened to the Red Rammer, huh? 262 00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:11,072 No idea. 263 00:09:11,115 --> 00:09:13,770 Wh-What's happening?I thought we were gonna train. 264 00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:16,164 Soon, soon.Need a little sex first. 265 00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:18,166 Hold my clotheslike your daddy used to. 266 00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:20,168 I won't make it10 feet in this garage 267 00:09:20,211 --> 00:09:22,474 before I'm deep-doggin' a derby daisy. 268 00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:26,304 Snot: [ Muffled ] Whoa. Big hat. 269 00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:28,785 [ Birds chirping ] 270 00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:33,050 [ Grunting ] 271 00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:38,447 Good. You're still here. 272 00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:40,405 'Cause you haven't started training me! 273 00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:42,233 You've been having sex all night -- 274 00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:43,844 Oh, you heard that, did you? 275 00:09:43,887 --> 00:09:46,237 [ Exhales ]I can get pretty loud. 276 00:09:46,281 --> 00:09:48,631 C'mon. Nowit's time. 277 00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:50,807 [ Keyboard clacking ][ Whispering ] I thought you said it was time. 278 00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:53,462 Soon, soon.Just havin' a look at WebMD. 279 00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:56,334 Pretty sure I caughtsomething last night. 280 00:09:57,901 --> 00:09:59,642 Does this look like the picture? 281 00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:00,861 Jesus! 282 00:10:00,904 --> 00:10:03,907 Alright, time to earn your learner's permit. 283 00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:05,996 Steve: You want me to drive now?! 284 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:10,261 It's driving, just have fun with it. 285 00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:11,915 [ Gear cranks ] 286 00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:14,439 [ Wheels hiss ] 287 00:10:14,483 --> 00:10:16,790 [ Wood creaking ] 288 00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:19,793 [ Chuckles nervously ] Th-This isn't so bad. 289 00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,795 [ Birds chirping, wood creaking ] 290 00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:24,667 Steve, there's a chipmunk gnawing! 291 00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,234 [ Gnaws ] 292 00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:26,713 [ Whimpers ] 293 00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,105 [ Engine revs ] 294 00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:31,456 [ Gnaws ] 295 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,458 [ Screeches ] 296 00:10:33,502 --> 00:10:34,634 Oh. 297 00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:37,158 Oh, no! 298 00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:39,334 [ Hawk cries, bear growls ] 299 00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:40,857 Oh, thank God. 300 00:10:40,901 --> 00:10:42,511 What the hell?! 301 00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:43,817 [ Groans ] 302 00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:45,079 I'm saved! 303 00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:46,297 [ Grunting ] 304 00:10:46,341 --> 00:10:48,735 Why does everyone hate this rope so much?! 305 00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,824 [ Engine revs, tires screech ] 306 00:10:50,867 --> 00:10:53,565 If this cone was a car,you'd've smashed it. 307 00:10:53,609 --> 00:10:56,830 It's no Rammer, but you're gonnakick ass in the Miata Masher. 308 00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:59,746 You haven't even taught me the Skidrokyo Drift. 309 00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:01,399 You really think I'm ready to derby? 310 00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:03,924 'Bout fifty-fifty. Maybe fofty-fofty. 311 00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:06,361 But fofty-fofty's not a real number -- 312 00:11:06,404 --> 00:11:08,232 Yeah, okay, thenI'll say fifty-fifty. 313 00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:12,628 Vespa's been ridin' my ass. 314 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,847 [ Tires screech ] 315 00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:16,980 [ Tap ] 316 00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:18,155 [ Birds chirping ] 317 00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:20,592 Wheels are shot and the front fell! Pff. 318 00:11:20,636 --> 00:11:21,811 What about the derby?! 319 00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:24,074 Can't do it without a car. 320 00:11:24,118 --> 00:11:27,512 Okay, guy, let's seeyour insurance info. 321 00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:29,514 Uh-huh. 322 00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:31,081 Uh, do you wanna give me yours? 323 00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:34,084 My insurance is that I now knowwhere you live. 324 00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:36,870 And if I get so much as onephone call from GEICO, 325 00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:38,785 I will burn your houseto the ground 326 00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:41,962 429 Shippey Lane -- [ Stammers ] 327 00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:43,354 Wait, 492? 328 00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:45,879 Shippey doesn't sound right,either -- 329 00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:46,880 No! 330 00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:47,924 [ Panting ] 331 00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:49,796 Something's zapping me. 332 00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:51,101 [ Keyboard clacking ] 333 00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:52,581 Well, Snot, the results are in. 334 00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:55,192 Your old pal'sgot the Muscular Dystrophy. 335 00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:56,977 How about instead of looking up symptoms 336 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,761 we find another derby car? 337 00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:00,807 That's a great idea,why don't you try to find 338 00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:03,374 the Red Rammerlike I've been telling you to! 339 00:12:03,418 --> 00:12:06,813 Dick, I gotta remind you to keep your voice down. 340 00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:08,597 [ Hushed ] I got the dystrophy,Barbara. 341 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:09,903 I got the dystrophy! 342 00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:11,165 [ Normal voice ] And this onewon't find the Red Rammer 343 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:12,557 like I've been tellin' him. 344 00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:17,345 In any case, [hushed] if you could just... 345 00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:19,782 Now you're getting mein trouble with Barbara. 346 00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:22,263 ♪♪ 347 00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:24,352 There you are!I've been worried sick! 348 00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:26,920 Mom, do you know what happened to the Red Rammer? 349 00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:28,138 It's gone. 350 00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:30,271 So you do know what happened to it. 351 00:12:30,314 --> 00:12:31,925 And you're never gonna find it. 352 00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:32,882 Oh, yeah?! Yeah! 353 00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:33,840 Yeah? Yeah! 354 00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:34,797 Yeah? Yeah! 355 00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:35,798 Yeah? Yeah! 356 00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:36,799 Yeah? Yeah!! 357 00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:38,018 [ Yells ] 358 00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:39,671 [Table thuds ] 359 00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:43,893 What the? 360 00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:50,030 [ Clock ticks ] 361 00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:52,815 Schmuley, just take it easy. 362 00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:54,817 Let's listen to some music. 363 00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:57,472 [ Radio plays ] 364 00:12:57,515 --> 00:12:59,648 I can't believe you. 365 00:13:01,432 --> 00:13:03,043 How did I not see -- 366 00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:03,870 Schmuley, please! 367 00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,828 You chopped up the Rammer! 368 00:13:05,872 --> 00:13:09,963 This is all Dad left me, and you chopped it up! 369 00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:12,704 I did what I had to doto keep this family -- 370 00:13:12,748 --> 00:13:15,403 and this house -- from falling apart! 371 00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:18,667 All you ever tell me about Dad is the bad things. 372 00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:23,628 But he was a derby-driving, Keebler clothes-holdin' badass. 373 00:13:23,672 --> 00:13:26,109 [ Cries ] 374 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,851 [ Thunder rumbles ] 375 00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:31,158 [ Cries ] 376 00:13:32,159 --> 00:13:34,465 [ Windows squeaking ] 377 00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,644 We're actually gonna make it! 378 00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:42,647 [ Siren wails ] 379 00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:44,345 Oh, God! 380 00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:49,263 Just be cool, I'll take care of this. 381 00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:51,569 Hi, Officer, what seems to be the problem? 382 00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:55,225 Y'all two Yankee childs wouldn't be haulin' contraband 383 00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:58,011 luncheon meat through my county now, would ya? 384 00:13:58,054 --> 00:13:59,577 What?! No. 385 00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,928 I don't know which smell is stronger, 386 00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:04,234 bullshit or salami -- 387 00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:06,019 [ Quitely ] No, do it the other way. 388 00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:08,021 [ Normal voice ] I don't know which smell is stronger, 389 00:14:08,064 --> 00:14:10,762 salami or bullshit. 390 00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:12,677 [ Quietly ] Much better, good job, you did good, good boy. 391 00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:15,593 [ Normal voice ] Now open the back of the truck. 392 00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:19,032 Well, I guess I'm opening the truck now... 393 00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:28,302 ♪♪ 394 00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:31,000 Please, don't make me do this. 395 00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:33,046 State Trooper:Whaddya waitin' for? 396 00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:36,310 ♪♪ 397 00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:40,357 Uh...it's just that it's...so hot. 398 00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:43,360 Missy, if you think that is gonna -- 399 00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:48,191 [ High-pitched ] Owie wowie,baby wants mommy, 400 00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:50,541 [panting] make it dirty! 401 00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:52,500 [ Horn blares ] 402 00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:53,762 Oh, thank God. 403 00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:55,155 [ Muffled gunshots ] 404 00:14:55,198 --> 00:14:57,722 [ Jeff sobs ] 405 00:14:57,766 --> 00:15:00,247 What have I done?! 406 00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:04,512 So, what's on the itinerary? 407 00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:07,080 A little rat chasingin the ol' garage? 408 00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:09,952 No, Barry. We're rebuilding my dad's car. 409 00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:13,129 Alright, but if I find a rat,I'm still eatin' it. 410 00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:16,828 [ The Ides of March's "Vehicle" plays ] 411 00:15:16,872 --> 00:15:21,616 ♪♪ 412 00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:25,098 ♪ Hey, well, I'm the friendly stranger in the black sedan ♪ 413 00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,448 ♪ Won't 'cha hop inside my car? ♪ 414 00:15:27,491 --> 00:15:29,841 ♪ I got pictures, I got candy, I'm a lovable man ♪ 415 00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:32,105 ♪ And I can take you to the nearest star ♪ 416 00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:34,411 ♪ I'm your vehicle, baby 417 00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:37,066 ♪ I can take you anywhere you wanna go ♪ 418 00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:39,329 ♪ I'm your vehicle, woman 419 00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:41,549 ♪ By that, I'm sure you know 420 00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,246 ♪ That I love ya ♪ Love ya 421 00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:44,465 ♪ I need ya ♪ Need ya 422 00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:46,989 ♪ I wants ya, gots to have you, child ♪ 423 00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:51,907 ♪ Great God in heaven, you know I love you ♪ 424 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:57,347 ♪♪ 425 00:15:57,391 --> 00:16:00,046 ♪ Well, if you wants to be a movie star ♪ 426 00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:03,484 [ Engine revs, tires screech ] 427 00:16:03,527 --> 00:16:04,833 [ Cheering ] 428 00:16:04,876 --> 00:16:07,401 ♪ You know, I think you really should ♪ 429 00:16:07,444 --> 00:16:09,359 ♪ I'm your vehicle, baby 430 00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:13,102 You found her...and she's beautiful. 431 00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:14,408 M-May I? 432 00:16:14,451 --> 00:16:16,018 Sure. 433 00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:18,238 [ Engine revs ] 434 00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:19,369 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 435 00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:22,416 I'm stealing the Rammer. Pff. 436 00:16:22,459 --> 00:16:25,941 Keebler, you dirty thief! 437 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:29,292 Come back with my daddy's car! 438 00:16:29,336 --> 00:16:32,600 [ Sobs ] 439 00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:36,169 Mom?Dry those tears, my beautiful baby boy. 440 00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:38,040 We're getting the Rammer back. 441 00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:39,302 Oh, wow! 442 00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:41,087 I just have to drop this Tupperware off 443 00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:42,436 at Mrs. Amendola's house. 444 00:16:42,479 --> 00:16:44,829 I've had it forever,it's on the way, 445 00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:46,048 don't make a face. 446 00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:55,144 That damn Keebla stole your car and half my house! 447 00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:57,277 And my trust in strangers! 448 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,279 Get him, Mom! 449 00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:00,628 [ Tires screech ]Hey, Donkeys! 450 00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:02,195 I've got a dingleberry danglin'! 451 00:17:02,238 --> 00:17:04,023 Get 'em off my tail! 452 00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:08,288 Let's roll! 453 00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:09,419 [ Screams ] 454 00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:12,292 No! 455 00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:14,076 Get it together, Derrick. 456 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,947 Keebler needs us. 457 00:17:15,991 --> 00:17:18,646 Woo-hoo! 458 00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:22,867 No! 459 00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:27,655 ♪♪ 460 00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:29,309 [ Tires screech ] 461 00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:32,790 Mom,you gotta hit him back! 462 00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:35,097 I can't do it! You take the wheel. 463 00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:37,143 What?! 464 00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:39,319 You were born to drive. 465 00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:40,668 I tried to deny it, 'cause I didn't want 466 00:17:40,711 --> 00:17:43,149 to lose you to that damn derby. 467 00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:46,456 But I don't have to worry because you're not your dad. 468 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:49,546 Now be your dad and smash these fools! 469 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,376 They're coming up on both sides! 470 00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,117 Car! Car! 471 00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:56,118 [ Tires screech ] 472 00:17:56,162 --> 00:18:00,992 ♪♪ 473 00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:04,170 Wow, Schmuley, you've reallygot a knock for -- 474 00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:07,260 On your six! 475 00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:09,392 Mom, you sound like a spotter. 476 00:18:09,436 --> 00:18:12,352 I was your fatha's firstspotter, before Keebla. 477 00:18:12,395 --> 00:18:13,483 You? [ Clattering ] 478 00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:15,006 Yeah,but when I got pregnant -- 479 00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:16,269 You had to hang it up. 480 00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:17,270 Yeah. 481 00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:19,141 Plus side though, the derby guys 482 00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:21,012 threw me a very nicebaby shower. 483 00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:23,145 And the strippers had what appeared 484 00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:25,408 to be full sex with each other. 485 00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:26,366 [ Birds chirping ]Mmm. 486 00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:28,368 Is it the explosive preservatives 487 00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:29,760 that make it taste so good? 488 00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:33,851 Whoa!It's Snot and his mom! 489 00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,026 They're in trouble. 490 00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:40,597 ♪♪ 491 00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,164 This Headband to Pavement Pouncer 492 00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:43,600 or any other trucker out there. 493 00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:45,298 Shut the door and sit on the toilet, 494 00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,561 'cause I've got some friends deep in donkey-doo, over. 495 00:18:47,604 --> 00:18:49,563 Pavement Pouncer: That's a big 10-4, Headband. 496 00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:52,305 Four hot shovels coming your way. 497 00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:55,221 I see you now. And you're bringing a great big convoy -- 498 00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:57,310 Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't say that word! 499 00:18:57,353 --> 00:18:58,789 We're nothing like that song! 500 00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:02,576 What song? Not this one! 501 00:19:02,619 --> 00:19:04,752 ♪ We got a big group of tru-ucks ♪ 502 00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:06,667 ♪ That means more than one truck ♪ 503 00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:09,322 ♪ Yeah, we got a big group of tru-ucks ♪ 504 00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:11,193 ♪ Usually four or five trucks 505 00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:13,326 ♪ C'mon and join our big group of trucks ♪ 506 00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:15,066 ♪ This time it's only four trucks ♪ 507 00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:16,024 [ Horn honks ] 508 00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:19,158 ♪ Tru-ucks 509 00:19:23,031 --> 00:19:24,250 What the hell? 510 00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:27,427 Guess it's up to us to getthat Donkey off his tail. 511 00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:30,125 Hey, honey! Smoke 'em if you got 'em! 512 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,909 [ Laughing ] Oh, yeah! 513 00:19:35,348 --> 00:19:36,697 [ Both groaning ] 514 00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:44,139 ♪♪ 515 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,793 Snot: Whoo-hoo! 516 00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:48,099 ♪♪ 517 00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:49,231 There's Keebla! 518 00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:52,016 You caught 'em, Schmuley,now take 'em out! 519 00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:54,932 ♪♪ 520 00:19:54,976 --> 00:19:56,630 Foot on the dash? [ Gasps ] 521 00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:59,894 You're doingthe Skidrokyo Drift! 522 00:19:59,937 --> 00:20:01,635 [ Tires screech ] 523 00:20:01,678 --> 00:20:03,506 ♪♪ 524 00:20:03,550 --> 00:20:07,380 Whoooooooaaaa. 525 00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:10,339 ♪♪ 526 00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:12,472 [ Laughs ] 527 00:20:12,515 --> 00:20:14,256 Oh, no, you missed. 528 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,780 No, I didn't, Mom. 529 00:20:19,696 --> 00:20:20,741 For me? 530 00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:23,047 But why didn't you Skidrokyo Keebla? 531 00:20:23,091 --> 00:20:24,397 Screw Keebler. 532 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,268 And screw the Red Rammer. 533 00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:27,704 I don't want it. 534 00:20:27,748 --> 00:20:31,882 That's Dad's car, and I'm letting it go. 535 00:20:31,926 --> 00:20:32,666 Why? 536 00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:34,494 'Cause Dad let us go. 537 00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:37,975 He bailed on us... but you stuck around. 538 00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:40,500 And you're the only dad I need. 539 00:20:40,543 --> 00:20:42,632 Oh! 540 00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:45,548 Now let's clock some driving hours 541 00:20:45,592 --> 00:20:48,943 so I can sign your permit paper. 542 00:20:48,986 --> 00:20:53,208 Wow, I through this moment wouldbe more powerful for me. 543 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:56,777 Thought it would be a littlemore meaningful. 544 00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:59,345 [ Gasps ] There it is! 545 00:20:59,388 --> 00:21:02,304 There's that special feeling! 546 00:21:02,348 --> 00:21:04,132 Have a great night!