1 00:00:01,436 --> 00:00:03,525 ♪♪ 2 00:00:03,655 --> 00:00:07,485 [slicer whirring] 3 00:00:07,616 --> 00:00:08,921 Boar's Head? 4 00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:10,706 More like "Bored's Head," right? 5 00:00:10,836 --> 00:00:13,100 I literally said that joke to you yesterday. 6 00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:14,797 Yeah. I'm stealin' it. 7 00:00:14,927 --> 00:00:17,060 [chews] 8 00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:18,496 TOMMY: Hey, team? 9 00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:19,932 Uh, gather round for a sec. 10 00:00:20,063 --> 00:00:21,369 Tommy! Tommy! [laughs] 11 00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:22,587 I almost sold a sandwich. 12 00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:24,154 -Why didn't you? -I dropped it. 13 00:00:24,285 --> 00:00:27,288 But I put it aside so we can eat it later, chief. 14 00:00:27,418 --> 00:00:28,463 Okay, Dino. 15 00:00:28,593 --> 00:00:30,160 Tommy and Dino to the end! 16 00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:31,901 Right, right. Okay. 17 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:35,035 I'm sorry to say that our assistant manager George 18 00:00:35,165 --> 00:00:37,037 -passed away last night. -Who? 19 00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:39,996 George worked here a long time and loved his work. 20 00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:44,392 He even mentioned Sub Hub six times in his suicide note. 21 00:00:44,522 --> 00:00:47,264 Anyway, we need someone to take his place. 22 00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:48,744 -What day did you start? -Tuesday. 23 00:00:48,874 --> 00:00:50,528 -Uh-huh. And you? -Wednesday. 24 00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:52,313 Hayley, looks like you're our new assistant manager. 25 00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:54,489 But it was Wednesday three years ago. 26 00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:56,404 You know we go by day of the week, Chloe. 27 00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:59,059 So, it's basic stuff -- time cards, inventory, 28 00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:01,191 taking George's dead body down from the ceiling fan. 29 00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:03,280 Cool. Dino, go get George down. 30 00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:04,412 You got it, Hayley! 31 00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:06,544 Hayley and Dino to the end! 32 00:01:07,937 --> 00:01:10,113 DINO: Uh, his hands are tied behind his back. 33 00:01:10,244 --> 00:01:12,028 We sure this is a suicide? 34 00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:14,161 Just do your job! 35 00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:17,207 ♪♪ 36 00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:19,383 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A.♪ 37 00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:23,170 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 38 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:26,390 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face♪ 39 00:01:26,521 --> 00:01:30,786 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race♪ 40 00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:36,226 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say♪ 41 00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:38,533 -♪ Good --♪ -♪ Good morning, U.S.A.♪ 42 00:01:38,663 --> 00:01:39,577 Aah! 43 00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:44,104 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A.♪ 44 00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:46,758 ♪♪ 45 00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:47,759 JEFF: Hey, babe! 46 00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:48,891 Hey, ba-- Oh, my God! 47 00:01:49,021 --> 00:01:51,328 Hayley! Jeff here says you got a promotion. 48 00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:54,331 Is this true or is Jeff playing a dirty little trick on me? 49 00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:55,854 Yes! They made me assistant manager. 50 00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:56,899 Let him go! 51 00:01:57,029 --> 00:01:59,075 Oh, Hayley! 52 00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:02,383 I've been so disappointed in youfor so long! 53 00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:04,428 Completely given up on you as a father. 54 00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:06,213 -You what? -Oh, yeah! 55 00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:08,215 But now that you've turned things around, 56 00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:09,564 I got you a gift. 57 00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:11,392 -A day planner? -Yeah. 58 00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:12,654 And the best part? 59 00:02:12,784 --> 00:02:15,047 I've already filled it out for you. 60 00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:16,875 "Go to work, go home. 61 00:02:17,049 --> 00:02:18,268 Go to work, go home. 62 00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:20,270 -Go to work, go home." -Go to work, go home. 63 00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:21,576 -"Go to work, go home." -Go to work, go home. 64 00:02:21,706 --> 00:02:23,186 Welcome to the long march. 65 00:02:23,317 --> 00:02:24,883 Ohh, I envy you. 66 00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:26,320 Just starting out on a job 67 00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:28,104 you'll do for the next 40 years. 68 00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:31,716 The turbulent wave of life's joyand despair will become... 69 00:02:31,847 --> 00:02:33,327 a flat line. 70 00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:35,503 Eeeeeee! 71 00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:36,808 What? 72 00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:39,115 Soon you'll be marching to work, 73 00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:41,378 clockin' in and out, marching home, 74 00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:42,858 over and over and over. 75 00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:45,295 You'll be 30, 40, 50, 60. 76 00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:47,602 Eeeeeee! 77 00:02:47,732 --> 00:02:50,126 The march ends at the grave. 78 00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:53,303 It's just a promotion. 79 00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:56,132 There's that vacant stare of a fellow marcher. 80 00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:58,265 Aw, man, the march! 81 00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:01,268 [heels clicking] 82 00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:02,660 Did I make a mistake? 83 00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:04,401 I mean, look, I took the promotion 84 00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:06,316 because, like, future is female, 85 00:03:06,447 --> 00:03:09,189 but what if I get trapped in some monotonous life? 86 00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:11,191 Remember what Dr. Ronson said -- 87 00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:13,845 Sometimes your feelings come out more clearly 88 00:03:13,976 --> 00:03:15,238 in free-style rap. 89 00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:18,894 Babe, do you want me to drop a beat? 90 00:03:19,024 --> 00:03:19,938 Maybe you should. 91 00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:22,506 [beatboxing] 92 00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:25,683 [rapping] ♪ I wanted a life of experience and freshness♪ 93 00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:28,643 ♪ Don't know that Sub Hub is the way to get this♪ 94 00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:31,167 ♪ Jeff Fischer here, comin' on the scene♪ 95 00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:34,910 ♪ I'll support you either way, babe, we're a team♪ 96 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,521 ♪ All these little bitches can suck my [bleep]♪ 97 00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:40,263 ♪ I'll tie Gucci Mane up and beat him with a stick♪ 98 00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:42,700 Gucci Mane, Imma straight up murder you. 99 00:03:42,831 --> 00:03:43,701 I was here before you, 100 00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:45,921 I'll be here long after you, Gucci Mane. 101 00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:48,097 [whispering] Gucci Mane, it's Klaus. 102 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,360 You need to get to the studio right now. 103 00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:52,275 HAYLEY: Your girl wants me, Gucci Mane. 104 00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:55,235 You're getting clowned, Gucci Mane! 105 00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:59,674 ♪♪ 106 00:03:59,804 --> 00:04:03,330 That was the worst Uber ride of my life. 107 00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:04,679 It was a nightmare. 108 00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:07,116 How long did he stop at that gas station 109 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,204 to take a dump? 110 00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:09,423 Which time? 111 00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:10,685 A-And what about that fish dinner 112 00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:12,382 he was picking at the whole time? 113 00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:13,905 He was only eating the bones! 114 00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:15,559 [cellphone chimes] 115 00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:18,432 "Please let us know how your ride with Ernie was." 116 00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:20,216 -Ha! -One star. 117 00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:21,348 [Bleep] him up, Steve. 118 00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:23,567 I-I feel bad. 119 00:04:23,698 --> 00:04:27,397 These guys get fired if their rating falls below 4.6. 120 00:04:27,528 --> 00:04:29,356 I don't want to take fish off his dashboard. 121 00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,793 Fine. Give him four stars. 122 00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:35,187 It won't ruin his life, but it willsend a message. 123 00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:36,363 [cellphone clicks] 124 00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:39,061 Now it's asking how much tip to leave. 125 00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:40,062 Dude, dude, dude! 126 00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:42,499 Type a poop emoji! Do it! 127 00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:45,807 ♪♪ 128 00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:47,025 [slicer clanks] 129 00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:55,860 [sighs] These guys don't march. 130 00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:58,515 Hayley. No phones at work. 131 00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:00,343 Don't want you thinking of the outside world. 132 00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:07,611 [slicer whirring] 133 00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:08,743 [sauce splatters] 134 00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:11,963 Avocado on that? 135 00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:13,400 [whirring continues] 136 00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,967 [oven door creaks] 137 00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:17,055 [sauce splatters] 138 00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:18,535 STAN: Go to work, go home. 139 00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:19,667 Avocado on that? 140 00:05:19,797 --> 00:05:21,364 [oven door creaks] 141 00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:22,670 -[sauce splatters] -STAN: Go to work, go home. 142 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:23,758 Avocado on that? 143 00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:25,629 [oven door creaks] 144 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,022 -[sauce splatters] -STAN: Go to work, go home. 145 00:05:27,152 --> 00:05:28,023 DINO'S VOICE: Avocado on that? 146 00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:29,546 [oven door creaks] 147 00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:30,852 -[sauce splatters] -STAN: Go to work, go home. 148 00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:32,070 Avocado on that? 149 00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:33,420 [footsteps marching] 150 00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:35,378 -STAN: Go to work, go home. -Avocado on that? 151 00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:36,640 [marching continues] 152 00:05:36,988 --> 00:05:39,121 STAN: Go to work, go home. Go to work, go home. 153 00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:40,427 Go to work, go home. Go to work, go home. 154 00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:42,472 Go to work, go home. Work! Work! Work! Work! 155 00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:44,344 Work! Work! Work! Work! Work! Work! Work! Work! 156 00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:45,388 Aah! 157 00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:46,911 [breathes deeply] 158 00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:48,478 -Avocado -- -Aah! 159 00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:50,132 [birds chirping] 160 00:05:50,262 --> 00:05:53,004 And...done. 161 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,616 -[tires screech] -Get in. 162 00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:58,053 I quit Sub Hub, and now we live in your van. 163 00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:03,275 [banjo music playing] 164 00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,365 I did it. I broke free. 165 00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:07,541 Bye-bye, Sub Hub! 166 00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:09,412 Smell ya later, road map! 167 00:06:09,543 --> 00:06:10,935 And who needs keys? 168 00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:12,502 All doors are open. 169 00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:13,634 [keys jingle] 170 00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:17,377 Babe, how are we gonna pay for stuff? 171 00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:19,422 -[glass shatters] -Your prayers have been answered. 172 00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:21,424 Roger? Have you been here the whole time? 173 00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:23,470 Yeah. Have you not heard me? 174 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,864 I've literally been playing music back here the whole time. 175 00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:29,389 [banjo music continues] 176 00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:30,390 [twang] 177 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,174 I know how you can pay for stuff. 178 00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:34,568 -[drumbeat] -You two can be van lifers. 179 00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:35,525 Then you monetize it. 180 00:06:35,656 --> 00:06:37,309 What? I'm -- I'm confused. 181 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:38,310 He gets it. 182 00:06:38,441 --> 00:06:40,487 Van life is huge on Instagram. 183 00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:42,097 People show themselves living in a van, 184 00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:43,490 going to cool places. 185 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:44,752 They get tons of followers, 186 00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:46,188 and then companies sponsor them 187 00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:48,408 and pay for their sunset-filled lives. 188 00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:49,757 -Sign us up! -What's happening? 189 00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:51,106 Now, you'll need an agent 190 00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:53,195 to find those sponsors and do the deals. 191 00:06:53,325 --> 00:06:55,371 And, of course, I aman agent. 192 00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:57,939 Ugh! But, honestly, honestly, I do not have space 193 00:06:58,069 --> 00:06:59,506 for any new clients right now. 194 00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:02,639 Ugh! This is so frustrating because I like you so much. 195 00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:04,293 I didn't want to like you. 196 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,773 Come on. Be our agent. 197 00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:07,514 I don't have the time! 198 00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:09,472 Unnngh! Lea'me alone! 199 00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:11,213 I promised my wife! 200 00:07:11,343 --> 00:07:12,780 It can't be me! 201 00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:15,565 It has to be me. 202 00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:16,740 Damn it, I'm doing it. 203 00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:17,741 Great! 204 00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:19,003 This way, we can stay on the road! 205 00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:21,658 All right! What an exciting time for us. 206 00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:23,094 The three friends. 207 00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,446 I'm gonna do those deals! 208 00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:28,360 [banjo plays] 209 00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:32,669 I say this all the time, but I'll say it again -- 210 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,237 You can't look too good for a Billy Joel concert. 211 00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:36,978 Don't forget the hat. 212 00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:39,763 -[metal creaking] -[straining] 213 00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:42,462 [grunts] 214 00:07:42,592 --> 00:07:45,247 I'll call us an Uber. 215 00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:46,901 "Ernie is one minute away." 216 00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:47,945 Ernie? 217 00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:49,686 Is that the driver...? 218 00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:50,948 FRANCINE: It is. 219 00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:52,254 I'm canceling. 220 00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:54,212 Try Lyft. 221 00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:56,040 "Ernie is one minute away." 222 00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:57,041 Oh, God! 223 00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:58,608 He's on Lyft too! 224 00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:02,177 Why don't I just go on Tinder and find a guy to drive us? 225 00:08:02,307 --> 00:08:06,050 Oh! It's him! 226 00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:08,444 He's everywhere! 227 00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:09,750 I better drive. 228 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:11,578 Mom, why are you on Tinder? 229 00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:13,710 I said I'll drive. 230 00:08:15,973 --> 00:08:17,975 -Oh, God. -Fish! 231 00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:19,237 [dramatic music plays] 232 00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:24,460 Feels light. No bones. 233 00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:25,983 [dramatic music playing] 234 00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:29,073 [engine starts, revs] 235 00:08:29,204 --> 00:08:31,162 -[click] -STEVE: It's Ernie! 236 00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:33,425 Back in the house! 237 00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:35,732 [keys rattle, clank] 238 00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:38,039 -What the hell was that? -I don't know! 239 00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:40,171 That's the first time it's ever happened to me. 240 00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:41,303 FRANCINE: Back door! 241 00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:42,391 [footsteps running, doorknob rattles] 242 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,653 STEVE: The back door's locked. 243 00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:44,959 I'll get the key under the mat. 244 00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:46,613 [key rattles, clanks] 245 00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:48,005 STEVE: Mom! 246 00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:49,224 FRANCINE: That's the first time that's ever happened. 247 00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:51,052 You gotta believe me! 248 00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:53,054 [birds chirping] 249 00:08:53,184 --> 00:08:54,795 Is this right? 250 00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:56,057 Am I making yoga? 251 00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:57,798 I don't know, babe, but I doknow 252 00:08:57,928 --> 00:09:00,757 you're leaving footprints all over the goddamn van! 253 00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:02,454 [cellphone chimes] 254 00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:04,544 -Hello? -Hales, sup! 255 00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:06,676 No sponsors yet, but I got irons in the fire. 256 00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:08,765 We're working towards the holy grail -- 257 00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:10,767 Açai Incorporated. 258 00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:11,551 Like the berry? 259 00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:14,205 Like the gold mine. It's a superfood. 260 00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:16,294 Throw all your regular food in the trash. 261 00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:17,687 Unless it can cure the clap. 262 00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:20,647 Because that's what açai did for me. 263 00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:22,649 In 16 hours, I was back on the street, 264 00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:25,434 circulating, just having a good time. 265 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,044 Roger! We need money. 266 00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:29,307 Then you need to make your life brandable. 267 00:09:29,438 --> 00:09:31,527 I need glam shots. 268 00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:32,484 [crack] 269 00:09:32,615 --> 00:09:34,704 My Karate Kidbush! 270 00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:36,314 Eh, this looks scary. 271 00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:39,579 People are going to expectexciting content from our brand. 272 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:41,929 -[bang] -[grunts] 273 00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:43,931 You need more speed! 274 00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,021 -[bang] -Aah! 275 00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:49,806 Go slower in the air. You're blurry. 276 00:09:51,852 --> 00:09:53,723 -[bang] -Wah-aah! 277 00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:54,681 -[cellphone camera clicks] -Wah! 278 00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:56,073 -[bang] -Whoa! 279 00:09:56,204 --> 00:09:57,727 Aah! 280 00:09:57,858 --> 00:09:59,120 -Wah! -[bike clatters] 281 00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:01,818 Ohh, Jeff, you're gonna love this -- 282 00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:03,603 We got it on the first shot. 283 00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:05,300 That's great, babe. 284 00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:06,954 Remember how I criticized you? 285 00:10:07,084 --> 00:10:08,825 I was wrong. 286 00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:11,262 [insects chirping] 287 00:10:11,393 --> 00:10:12,612 [cellphone rings, vibrates] 288 00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:14,483 [groans] 289 00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:17,312 Hello? 290 00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:19,357 What up?! Time for breakfast. 291 00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:22,056 I suggest some Jon's Green Mill Oats, 292 00:10:22,186 --> 00:10:23,840 'cause they're your first sponsor. 293 00:10:23,971 --> 00:10:25,799 That's super exciting, Roger! 294 00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:26,800 Okay, gotta go. 295 00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:28,932 Rhonda! Where the [bleep] are my deals?! 296 00:10:29,063 --> 00:10:30,412 -[cellphone beeps] -Jeff, get up! 297 00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:31,369 We gotta go to work. 298 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:32,806 I thought we didn't work? 299 00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:33,720 We don't. Now get up! 300 00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,069 We're gonna be late! 301 00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:36,810 [folk music playing] 302 00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:39,421 [horns honking] 303 00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:43,773 ♪♪ 304 00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:47,951 ♪♪ 305 00:10:48,082 --> 00:10:50,998 HAYLEY: We were once trapped working nine to five. 306 00:10:51,128 --> 00:10:55,089 But now, the only time we worry about is the present. 307 00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:56,394 [cellphone camera clicks] 308 00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:57,874 HAYLEY: And our Raymond Roxbee watches 309 00:10:58,005 --> 00:11:00,398 always tell us the present time. 310 00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:03,532 Use code "Hayley-Jeff" for 15% off. 311 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:04,751 ♪♪ 312 00:11:04,881 --> 00:11:07,623 Life is fleeting, so make each day special. 313 00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:09,233 Make time for a sunrise. 314 00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:10,408 Make time for a loved one. 315 00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:13,542 Make a permanent mark on your life... 316 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,762 with Cosmo Dry Erase Markers. 317 00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:17,807 Now with orange. 318 00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:23,944 Mama, we're out of food. 319 00:11:24,074 --> 00:11:25,685 Can't we order some delivery? 320 00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:27,643 No. Ernie works for every app. 321 00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,732 Now hush up. Dinner's almost ready. 322 00:11:32,039 --> 00:11:33,823 [British accent] The last stick of gum? 323 00:11:33,997 --> 00:11:36,130 But what will we eat on Christmas? 324 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:37,435 [light switch clicks] 325 00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:39,046 [New York accent] What's up, ya gum-eatin' bastards? 326 00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:40,830 [normal voice] Sorry, I'm just riding high 327 00:11:40,961 --> 00:11:42,266 'cause I hired someone off TaskRabbit 328 00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:43,920 to put together my bookshelf. 329 00:11:44,051 --> 00:11:46,706 TaskRabbit the app? And he's coming here? 330 00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:48,055 [pounding on door] 331 00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:49,360 [both gasp] 332 00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:52,363 That's right. This boss owns a bookshelf. 333 00:11:52,494 --> 00:11:54,888 A gift from my good friend Gucci Mane. 334 00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:55,932 Who are you friends with? 335 00:11:56,063 --> 00:11:57,804 Being a loser? 336 00:11:57,934 --> 00:12:00,371 [chuckles] Probably. 337 00:12:00,502 --> 00:12:02,765 Hey, who put this couch here? 338 00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:04,158 [dramatic music plays] 339 00:12:04,288 --> 00:12:05,246 Tuttle? 340 00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:08,858 Oh, dingdoodle, this isn't my house. 341 00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:12,035 [dramatic music plays] 342 00:12:15,256 --> 00:12:16,866 Babe, Vista Point, two miles. 343 00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:18,041 Should we check it out? 344 00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:19,434 Are you nuts? 345 00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:21,523 We need a shot of us eating calzones 346 00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:23,438 on the Hoover Dam without a care in the world 347 00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:24,439 by sundown! 348 00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:26,093 Now step on it! 349 00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:28,922 [tires screech] 350 00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:30,793 Not the brakes! The gas! 351 00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:34,536 No! All we ever do is post and caption and hashtag. 352 00:12:34,666 --> 00:12:36,973 And I'm sick of sniffing markersall the time! 353 00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:39,323 -I'm not making you do that. -JEFF: [sniffs] 354 00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:41,238 We need a break! 355 00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:46,243 HAYLEY: Wow, this is beautiful. 356 00:12:46,374 --> 00:12:47,941 Right? See what happens 357 00:12:48,071 --> 00:12:49,899 when you get off Instagram for a while? 358 00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:51,205 How did you find this place? 359 00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:52,510 On Instagram. 360 00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:55,078 Thank God for Instagram. 361 00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:57,646 [birds chirping] 362 00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,430 I'm so glad you made me do this. 363 00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:01,476 Made usdo this, babe. 364 00:13:01,606 --> 00:13:02,825 Ooh, you know, it's a little chilly. 365 00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:04,653 I'm gonna go snatch my serape. 366 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,742 Snatch away, babe. 367 00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:08,962 [cellphone camera clicking] 368 00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:10,006 JEFF: What are you doing? 369 00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:11,442 Oh, this? 370 00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:13,488 Just testing... the nature. 371 00:13:13,618 --> 00:13:16,317 Did it test positive for genital lies?! 372 00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:17,884 -[helicopter blades whirring] -ROGER: What up, nomads? 373 00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:21,017 I got three words for you -- ah-sigh-ee. 374 00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:22,976 We landed the big sponsorship. 375 00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:25,021 See? It's all paying off. 376 00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:27,371 We can go anywhere and do anything. 377 00:13:27,502 --> 00:13:29,983 Then I want to go home and do nothing! 378 00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:31,680 The whole point of this was to get away 379 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:32,899 from being a worker drone, 380 00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,944 and here you are, working like crazy. 381 00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:35,945 This isn't work. 382 00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:37,468 You're lying to yourself. 383 00:13:37,599 --> 00:13:40,036 What are you gonna say next? The sky isn't blue? 384 00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:41,908 Whatever color it is or isn't, 385 00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:43,083 it's the perfect background 386 00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:45,955 for Señor Thomson's Frozen Wontons. 387 00:13:46,086 --> 00:13:47,522 And since you can't see that, 388 00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:48,915 you're no help to me out here. 389 00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:50,699 -Babe -- -Sorry, Jeff. 390 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:51,831 You should go home. 391 00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,484 -Oh. -Here. 392 00:13:53,615 --> 00:13:54,964 For the drive. 393 00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:56,444 I can't hear you. 394 00:13:56,574 --> 00:13:57,749 Are you asking if I'm sleeping with the pilot? 395 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,403 Lord knows I'm trying. 396 00:14:02,102 --> 00:14:03,407 ROGER: Actually, no need to climb up. 397 00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:04,539 You can't get past me. 398 00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:05,845 I'm stuck, arms are jelly. 399 00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,324 So, Lance, you were right. 400 00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:09,022 I shouldn't have rode in like this. 401 00:14:09,152 --> 00:14:10,414 I was trying to be a big shot, 402 00:14:10,545 --> 00:14:12,939 and, well, to be honest, I'm in trouble. 403 00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:16,072 But don't panic, Lance. Panicking won't help anybody. 404 00:14:16,203 --> 00:14:18,988 Lance, quick update -- I panicked and let go. 405 00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,947 So, any solution involving the ladder, 406 00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:22,383 well, that's out. 407 00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:24,080 Now we're working on slowing down a free-fall. 408 00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:27,867 The tools I have at my disposal are a bullhorn. 409 00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:29,085 [bullhorn feedback] 410 00:14:31,566 --> 00:14:35,396 [mid-tempo rock music playing] 411 00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:37,050 PHOTOGRAPHER: Can you lose the headband? 412 00:14:37,180 --> 00:14:38,878 It's screwing up the green screen. 413 00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:41,010 Actually can't. I have a doctor's note. 414 00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:42,316 Whoa-ho! 415 00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:44,231 First trip to the Grand Canyon? 416 00:14:44,361 --> 00:14:46,973 If you're gonna hike down,make sure to bring enough water. 417 00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:48,191 That's how my friend died. 418 00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:51,891 I'm Cameron Smiles, CEO of Açai Incorporated. 419 00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:53,893 -How's it going? -These promos are fun. 420 00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:56,025 But I'm excited to get out on the open road. 421 00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:57,505 You're on it! 422 00:14:57,679 --> 00:15:00,029 With the magic of green screen, you can go anywhere! 423 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,336 Why don't we head to Wacky-kiki Beach? 424 00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:04,120 [snaps fingers] Mike! Give us Wacky-kiki. 425 00:15:04,251 --> 00:15:05,121 ♪ Surf surfin'♪ 426 00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:06,166 ♪ Beach Boys, yeah♪ 427 00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:07,689 I'm the big ca-hoota! 428 00:15:07,819 --> 00:15:09,996 See you on the half pipe, fish tacos! 429 00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:11,911 MIKE [laughing]: It looks so good on the monitor! 430 00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:14,783 So we shoot everything in front of the screen? 431 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,176 I'm never really going anywhere? 432 00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:18,439 How can you say that when you're... 433 00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:20,484 suddenly on the moon! 434 00:15:20,615 --> 00:15:21,790 Give us spacesuits, Mike! 435 00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:24,967 Well, I guess a fake moon beats real Sub Hub. 436 00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:26,360 That's my motto. 437 00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:29,102 So, um, let's say we bring in Jeff. 438 00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:32,061 -But I-I told Jeff to go home. -Good call. 439 00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:34,890 But you're not gonna want new Jeff to go home. 440 00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:38,285 Jeff 2.0 is super hot, super punctual, 441 00:15:38,415 --> 00:15:39,416 and best of all? 442 00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:41,375 He's 100% hologram! 443 00:15:41,505 --> 00:15:42,724 [grunts] 444 00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:44,030 Wait, this guy's real? 445 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,075 Mike, we're working on the hologram stuff, right? 446 00:15:46,206 --> 00:15:48,599 MIKE: Getting closer every day, boss! 447 00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:50,950 ♪♪ 448 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,909 [screwdriver clicking] 449 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,171 [whispering] He's almost done. 450 00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:56,738 Why didn't we run? 451 00:15:56,868 --> 00:16:00,089 He went to his car like 10 timesto get more tools. 452 00:16:01,917 --> 00:16:02,962 All finished. 453 00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:06,313 Now to take care of one last thing. 454 00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:08,880 KLAUS: Oh, great, you're done. 455 00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:10,839 Hmm. 456 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,929 And I'm guessing you didn't use this washer 457 00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:17,193 because they gave an extra one by mistake? 458 00:16:17,324 --> 00:16:21,110 Hate to tell you, buddy, but IKEA doesn't make mistakes. 459 00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:22,155 [washer clanks] 460 00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:24,200 My hands are tied here. 461 00:16:24,331 --> 00:16:26,072 You're getting four stars. 462 00:16:26,202 --> 00:16:27,638 Four stars? 463 00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:29,205 It's just a washer. 464 00:16:29,336 --> 00:16:31,164 Back talk? Three stars. 465 00:16:31,294 --> 00:16:32,992 They should write about you in Laffy Taffy wrappers, 466 00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:35,472 'cause you're a [bleep] joke, bro! 467 00:16:35,603 --> 00:16:36,691 Klaus, I wouldn't -- 468 00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:37,866 This is good for us. 469 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,086 I'm gonna eat your bones. 470 00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:42,131 How 'bout you bite my ass? 471 00:16:42,262 --> 00:16:43,219 Two stars. 472 00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:47,528 The curse is his now. 473 00:16:47,658 --> 00:16:49,225 KLAUS: Slit my throat? 474 00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:52,141 [gagging] One star. 475 00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:54,709 Uh, what's going on? 476 00:16:54,839 --> 00:16:57,233 Hayley! Something so rad happened. 477 00:16:57,364 --> 00:17:00,323 We signed some new talent, and she and Jeff just gelled. 478 00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:01,542 Totally organic. 479 00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:03,805 Anyway, she's taking your spot on the account. 480 00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:06,155 What? Wait, you mean myaccount? 481 00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:08,201 Well, you signed ownership over to us. 482 00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:11,813 Butwhat if I told you we could use you in Brazil? 483 00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:14,250 -Real Brazil. -I'd say sign me up. 484 00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:16,600 No need. You already signed the Brazil Clause. 485 00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:18,254 MIKE: Actually, we didn't get a signature 486 00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:19,386 on the Brazil Clause, boss. 487 00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:22,171 What?! I need that thing, like, right now! 488 00:17:22,302 --> 00:17:24,608 -I'll still go. -Oh, that'd be perfect. 489 00:17:24,739 --> 00:17:26,045 Mike, you wanna shoot a Brazil Clause 490 00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:27,046 over to the printer? 491 00:17:27,176 --> 00:17:28,264 Let's head to the printer. 492 00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:29,744 That's where the Brazil Clause'll come out. 493 00:17:32,355 --> 00:17:34,401 [printer whirring slowly] 494 00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:41,625 This thing's a workhorse. 495 00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:45,281 ♪♪ 496 00:17:45,412 --> 00:17:48,980 All right! We out here! 497 00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:50,591 What a great farm. 498 00:17:50,721 --> 00:17:52,941 I'm gonna get some great shots. 499 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,029 Whoa! 500 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,771 I know him. He's a van lifer. 501 00:17:56,901 --> 00:17:59,339 And so is he. 502 00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:00,514 [whip cracking] 503 00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:02,255 What the hell is going on here? 504 00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:04,083 GUARD: Pick berries. 505 00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:06,128 Hashtag slave life. 506 00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:10,524 HAYLEY: Oh, my God. 507 00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:12,787 Is this where Açai Incorporated 508 00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:14,658 sends influencers when they get replaced? 509 00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:16,443 Yes. Now go to work! 510 00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:17,966 Then go home? 511 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,098 No! [chuckles] 512 00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:20,229 Only go to work. 513 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,752 Go to work, go to work. 514 00:18:21,883 --> 00:18:23,145 Go to work, go to work. 515 00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:24,886 Welcome to the short march. 516 00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:27,193 Oh, man, the march! 517 00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:32,372 [machinery clacking] 518 00:18:32,502 --> 00:18:34,852 So hungry. 519 00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:38,247 Ooh, one left. 520 00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:42,686 Aah-ja-ja! 521 00:18:42,817 --> 00:18:43,687 [alarm rings] 522 00:18:43,818 --> 00:18:48,605 [monkeys screeching] 523 00:18:48,736 --> 00:18:49,867 [screams] 524 00:18:52,305 --> 00:18:55,264 ♪♪ 525 00:18:55,395 --> 00:18:57,223 [groans] 526 00:18:57,353 --> 00:19:00,400 Is this the pile for medical attention? 527 00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:04,273 It's a death trench, dummy. 528 00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:06,449 This is my trench now. 529 00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:08,582 JEFF [in distance]: Hayley! Where are you?! 530 00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:09,583 Jeff? 531 00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:12,325 [insects chirping] 532 00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:16,894 [dramatic music plays] 533 00:19:17,025 --> 00:19:20,855 ♪♪ 534 00:19:20,985 --> 00:19:23,814 Hashtag rescue! 535 00:19:23,945 --> 00:19:25,251 [bang] 536 00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:28,297 [juice trickling] 537 00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:29,385 Jeff. 538 00:19:29,516 --> 00:19:31,257 Hey...babe. 539 00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:32,910 How did you find me? 540 00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:35,348 I follow the guy who releases the guard monkeys 541 00:19:35,478 --> 00:19:36,827 on Instagram. 542 00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:39,265 Thank God for Instagram, right? 543 00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:42,093 No, Jeff. Thank God for you. 544 00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,618 You...almost saved me. 545 00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:46,968 [crying] I'm so sorry. 546 00:19:47,098 --> 00:19:50,319 [sobs] 547 00:19:52,756 --> 00:19:54,758 Oh, my God. My arm. 548 00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:56,412 Açai juice really is a -- 549 00:19:56,543 --> 00:19:58,414 JEFF: [deep voice] Superfood! 550 00:19:58,545 --> 00:20:00,677 ♪♪ 551 00:20:00,808 --> 00:20:01,896 No! 552 00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:04,377 They're drinking the undiluted juice! 553 00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:05,291 [whistle blows] 554 00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:09,425 ♪♪ 555 00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:12,385 [muscles clicking] 556 00:20:12,515 --> 00:20:13,516 Whoa. 557 00:20:14,865 --> 00:20:15,736 [gunshot] 558 00:20:15,866 --> 00:20:16,780 Whoa! 559 00:20:16,911 --> 00:20:18,086 Aah! 560 00:20:19,348 --> 00:20:20,567 Whoooa! 561 00:20:20,697 --> 00:20:23,483 [grunting] 562 00:20:24,745 --> 00:20:27,965 [monkey chirping] 563 00:20:28,096 --> 00:20:28,923 [gun cocks] 564 00:20:29,053 --> 00:20:30,446 [gunshot] 565 00:20:30,577 --> 00:20:32,231 Let's get the hell outta here! 566 00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:33,710 ♪♪ 567 00:20:33,841 --> 00:20:35,321 HAYLEY: I love you so much, Jeff! 568 00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:37,975 JEFF: Superfood! 569 00:20:40,456 --> 00:20:42,371 Go to work, go home. 570 00:20:42,545 --> 00:20:44,721 Go to work, go home. 571 00:20:44,852 --> 00:20:46,593 -Ah! -Superfood. 572 00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:49,509 Jeff, you can't visit me at workuntil you go back to normal. 573 00:20:49,639 --> 00:20:50,727 Superfood? 574 00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:52,555 You're still holding that bullet? 575 00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:54,992 Just drop it. 576 00:20:57,212 --> 00:21:00,171 [crash, car horn blares] 577 00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:02,391 Superfood? 578 00:21:02,522 --> 00:21:04,393 Bye! Have a beautiful time! 579 00:21:06,482 --> 00:21:08,223 --Captions by VITAC--