1
00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:14,407
How you doing?

2
00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:16,909
Hey, how you doing?
Hey, honey, how are you?

3
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:19,287
If I was you, I'd save some energy
for the Mansion, bro.

4
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:21,914
I got plenty of energy
in my reserve tanks, Drama,

5
00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:24,041
- don't you worry.
- Turtle, you don't want to wind up

6
00:01:24,126 --> 00:01:26,461
with a girlfriend
one day before the lingerie party.

7
00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:28,546
Good point. I ain't talking to none of youse.

8
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:30,298
I don't know what you guys
are making a big deal about.

9
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:31,883
I've been to the Mansion, it's not that great.

10
00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:34,886
You were at an afternoon
fundraiser for Alzheimer's.

11
00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:37,472
I don't think that's what Mr. Hefner
had in mind when he opened the joint.

12
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:39,223
I'm sure he was dreaming about your fat ass

13
00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:42,101
- running around the place in pajamas.
- Easy, easy.

14
00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:43,978
Yeah, I remember back in the day

15
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,105
me, Kadeem Hardison and C.T. Howell

16
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:48,941
used to sit at Hef's table
surrounded by Playmates.

17
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,110
Now they won't even let me in the joint.

18
00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:53,446
You sat at Hugh Hefner's table?

19
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,531
Yeah, during the Melrose years.

20
00:01:55,908 --> 00:01:58,534
Don't you mean
the Melrose months, Drama?

21
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,453
Not if you count reruns, dickhead.

22
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:04,081
Oh, don't worry, Johnny.
E will have you doing laps in The Grotto.

23
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,209
- Right, E?
- Yeah, Shauna's calling Hef's people

24
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,419
to see what Drama's drama is this time.

25
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:11,672
- I didn't do anything.
- So, these are for the Mansion, right, Vince?

26
00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:14,592
Yeah. Mom's out of town,
I got the kids tonight.

27
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:16,469
Okay, well then you don't want to wear those,

28
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,054
because George Clooney's guy came in

29
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,972
and bought the exact same pair this morning.

30
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:22,308
It'd be like wearing
the same gown to the Oscars.

31
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:25,603
Yeah. Nobody has these.

32
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,856
I will make sure that we don't sell
any more for the rest of the day.

33
00:02:28,941 --> 00:02:31,317
- Fancy. Thanks, Jenny.
- No problem.

34
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,069
Don't work too hard, huh?

35
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,238
Vince, can you advance me six weeks' salary?

36
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,698
You know the system, Turtle. Ask E.

37
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,494
E, can I please advance six weeks' salary?

38
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:42,995
What do you need $1,200 for?

39
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,997
For these cashmere PJs, baby!

40
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,874
Turtle, mine only cost $400.

41
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:49,001
You can go to the Mansion
in Underoos and still get laid.

42
00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:51,838
You could go wrapped
in bearer bonds and not get laid.

43
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:54,340
- Put the pajamas back.
- I'm coming back for these.

44
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,926
Feel how soft. Feel.

45
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,262
Bearer bonds.

46
00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:01,430
Lemon water and lettuce, Drama?

47
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,723
You disgust me.

48
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:05,643
It's all part of my
two-day pre-Mansion regimen.

49
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,353
I got to look lean for the ladies.

50
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:10,356
Why don't you sleep in Saran Wrap
like you did on the wrestling team?

51
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,066
I sucked weight in that sauna suit.

52
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:15,069
If you behave yourself, Turtle,
I might just put you on my program.

53
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:16,737
Did Playboy even call back?

54
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:19,407
I'm waiting. God knows what you did
to piss off Hef, Drama.

55
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:22,201
- I didn't do anything.
- Wait. Can we talk about the house?

56
00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:24,662
- Let's talk about it, Marvin.
- There's nothing to talk about!

57
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:26,372
You guys got to get out.

58
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:29,542
The studio paid for five months
and you've been there for a year.

59
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:31,919
We should rent a place
with an outdoor pool anyway.

60
00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:34,422
- Maybe I should buy a place.
- That's a good idea.

61
00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:36,632
I could be the first Chase
to own his own home.

62
00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:40,344
Sorry, bro. I beat you to that.

63
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:44,640
Johnny, I've been doing
your taxes since 1989.

64
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,393
You never owned a home.
What are you talking about?

65
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:50,479
Condo? Triplex? On Robertson?

66
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:53,399
South Robertson?
You lived next to the 10 freeway, Drama.

67
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,776
That place. You only had it for six months,

68
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:57,904
and then they foreclosed on it.

69
00:03:57,988 --> 00:03:59,447
That don't count.

70
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:01,449
Technically, it still makes me first.

71
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:03,409
Technically, you're a fucking moron.

72
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,620
- What's our price range?
- What's on the burner?

73
00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:07,830
We're meeting with Warner's
to discuss Aquaman.

74
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,999
- That's what I wanna hear.
- Aquaman.

75
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,667
You'd make a sexy superhero.

76
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:12,960
I'm going to hear what they have to say.

77
00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:15,588
- Vince is gonna consider doing this.
- Oh, I am?

78
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:17,590
Remember, sweetie,
one for them, one for you.

79
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,884
Queens Boulevard was definitely one for you.

80
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:22,261
Okay, assuming I do another one for me,

81
00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:24,263
how much can we spend on a house?

82
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:27,266
A million, a million-two tops.

83
00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:29,435
I'll call Susan Roberts.
She's the best broker in town.

84
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:31,312
$1 million, guys.

85
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:34,231
We were sharing a two-bedroom
on Seward a year and a half ago.

86
00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:36,359
- Not bad!
- Not bad?

87
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:39,612
My mom just sold her house for $160,000,

88
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:41,238
and we had a skylight.

89
00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:47,828
This is it?

90
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:49,789
Maybe this is the guesthouse,

91
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,082
and the real house is around back?

92
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,675
Craftsman's are very hot right now, Vince.

93
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:03,386
I just sold one to that actor from Smallville.

94
00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:06,722
Where's Smallville?

95
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,696
No way. Not again.

96
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,744
A million bucks sure ain't what it used to be.

97
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:29,912
You're not kidding.

98
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,539
You can't be living in a dump like this.

99
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,583
- It's bad for your self-esteem.
- They don't even have a pool.

100
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,252
You used to work at a mortuary, Turtle.

101
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,004
Why don't you grab a shovel
and start digging?

102
00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:39,672
What, E, you think we should take it?

103
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,173
No, definitely not.

104
00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:43,342
I know it's a bit of a fixer-upper,

105
00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:45,511
but you are getting in at a great price

106
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,179
in an up-and-coming neighborhood.

107
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:48,848
You know, to tell you the truth, Susan,

108
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,808
it's not exactly what we had in mind.

109
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,226
What did you have in mind?

110
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:53,936
Have you ever seen Cribs?

111
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:59,859
I have a Spanish estate up at Outpost.

112
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,028
It was Marlon Brando's old place.

113
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:04,530
I like Brando.

114
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:07,033
It's in a slightly higher price range, though.

115
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:10,202
- How slight?
- Don't worry about it. It's Brando's.

116
00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:11,787
I'll set it up.

117
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:15,708
Hey, Shauna.

118
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,710
I just got off the phone
with the Playboy people.

119
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:20,087
- Drama straightened out?
- He's straightened out all right.

120
00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:22,214
He's banned for life. There's a better chance

121
00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:24,550
- you'll see the Pope in pajamas.
- Why, what'd he do?

122
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:27,094
The moron went to Hef's zoo,
set all the chimps free.

123
00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:29,263
- Unbelievable.
- One of the monkeys

124
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:30,806
went Siegfried & Roy on Miss August,

125
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:33,934
and they said she's lost out on becoming
the Saturn national spokesperson

126
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,644
because of the damage to her face.

127
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,563
Okay, look, I got to go.

128
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:39,982
What's next?

129
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,485
Got to get the Godiva chocolates
for Star Jones.

130
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:44,653
Better make room in the fucking trunk.

131
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:47,073
This is bullshit. It was Macchio.

132
00:06:47,491 --> 00:06:49,742
- "The Karate Kid" freed the monkeys?
- I'm not kidding.

133
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,744
I took him as my "plus one."

134
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,162
We got wasted on Cuervo.

135
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:56,540
Next thing I know, he's standing
in the Miyagi crane position

136
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:58,292
kicking the cage wide open.

137
00:06:58,376 --> 00:06:59,627
Well, Hef thinks it was you.

138
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:01,587
Yeah, I know.
What are we gonna do about it?

139
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:04,423
- "We," Drama?
- Yeah, we.

140
00:07:04,508 --> 00:07:06,425
You guys wouldn't go
to the Mansion without me.

141
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,720
- Right?
- Don't worry.

142
00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:11,597
We'll bring you back a Playmate doggie bag.

143
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:14,600
Come on, guys.
If Johnny doesn't go, none of us goes.

144
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,769
- Thanks, bro.
- In fact, Ari's got to handle this,

145
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:19,146
or we're headed for dollar shots
at Beefsteak Charlie's.

146
00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,314
Fucking Drama!

147
00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:23,442
Wait. They don't even have
a Beefsteak Charlie's out here. Do they?

148
00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:24,568
Shut up, Turtle.

149
00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:26,487
I guess I'll keep my appointment for Uvasun.

150
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:28,531
First you got to come with me to
get my pajamas.

151
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,866
- Sure.
- Where you gonna get the money from?

152
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,536
- Don't worry about that. I got a plan.

153
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,171
That's an assigned space, Ari.

154
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,007
Fuck Peter Hill! Never heard of him.

155
00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:48,300
I hope they tow you.

156
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,844
They don't have the balls. Trust me.

157
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:52,304
Ari, we got to call Hugh Hefner
to get Drama's ban

158
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,640
- lifted at the Mansion.
- What am I, his pimp?

159
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:56,392
- Ari.
- For you, Vinnie, anything.

160
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,894
All I ask in return
is that you say yes to Aquaman.

161
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,021
He's here, Ari. One step at a time.

162
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:03,649
Don't you mean one stroke at a time?

163
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:09,029
I can't give you a cash refund for this, Turtle.

164
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:10,656
It was a gift from corporate to Vince.

165
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,366
Come on, Cathy, hook me up.

166
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,910
I'll throw in an eighth
of the Hack's Crip weed you like.

167
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,537
That's a very generous offer, Turtle,

168
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,622
but I'm a friend of Bill W's now.

169
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:19,999
And he's got better weed than the Hack?

170
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:23,419
"Bill W"'s code. It means she's in recovery.

171
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,838
Who needs to recover from weed?

172
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:28,507
Tell you what, Turtle,
I'll give you a store credit.

173
00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:31,010
What the fuck am I gonna do with that?

174
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,936
We want you in the Warner family, Vince.

175
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,564
I'm all about family, John.

176
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:45,691
In fact, after seeing your 200-foot yacht

177
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:48,152
in last month's Robb Report,
can I call you Dad?

178
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:52,740
- Vince?
- Yeah.

179
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:55,117
Do you know how long
Clint Eastwood's been with this studio?

180
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,953
- No.
- 70 years.

181
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:01,874
We give him $90 million to make movies now.

182
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:05,211
- Does whatever he wants.
- I heard he uses 60 and pockets 30.

183
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:07,046
That's why he only does one take.

184
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:12,384
The point is,
we don't micromanage our talent here.

185
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,678
No. They are very talent-friendly.

186
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:19,058
Wow, you know, I mean, this all sounds great.

187
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:22,728
And I'd love to make a movie
with you guys, definitely.

188
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:25,522
It's just I don't really
see myself playing a superhero,

189
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,733
speaking underwater, flying.

190
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:31,904
We're not talking about making
a comic book fluff movie here.

191
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:34,073
No, we want this to be a darker, grittier film.

192
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:37,451
Remember, this is the studio
that did Batman, right?

193
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,453
Not The Phantom.

194
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,163
What are we talking about?

195
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,165
Burton's Batman or Schumacher's?

196
00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:50,881
Why don't you let us show you
what we're talking about?

197
00:09:50,966 --> 00:09:52,174
Sure.

198
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,426
Dana, let's bring in the suit.

199
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:01,350
Bring in the suit.

200
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,447
Yeah. Isn't that something?

201
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,367
Isn't that something?

202
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:22,037
No way I'm gonna be up on a 70-foot screen
looking like an underwater Elton John.

203
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:25,124
Vinnie, the suit will not look like that on film.

204
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,042
Tom Cruise is, like, 5'4",

205
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,086
on screen he looks like Yao Ming.

206
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:30,796
- It's just a prototype, Vince.
- Yeah!

207
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,299
Ari, it's over.

208
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,926
Do not mention this movie to me again.

209
00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:37,970
All right, now find me
something else I can do.

210
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,389
I'll deal with this.

211
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:47,646
How you doing, sweetheart?
I got a M.A. C store credit.

212
00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:49,565
- No.
- $2,000 for $1,200!

213
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:51,650
Better hurry this shit up, Turtle.

214
00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:53,319
We're gonna be late
for our mannies and peddies.

215
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:56,447
All right, hold on.
I got a M.A. C store credit here.

216
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,741
$2,000 for $1,200!

217
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,409
Or if you have a major credit card,

218
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,578
you can come with me
to Barneys and buy me my pajamas!

219
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:06,165
All right, the suit sucks,
but the script is good.

220
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,459
I'm telling you, Vince,
this movie is gonna be a big hit,

221
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,085
and then you can do whatever you want.

222
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,505
It's weird how you're
starting to sound like Ari.

223
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:16,425
No, it's weird how you always
want me to agree with you.

224
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,056
Cashmere PJs paid in full

225
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,016
no thanks to your ass!

226
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,144
Something's wrong.

227
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:29,313
Is this Aquaman-related

228
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:30,856
or am I not going to the Mansion?

229
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,566
No, Ari is taking care of the Mansion,

230
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,735
we're not talking about Aquaman anymore.

231
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:37,154
They showed Vince the suit and he hated it.

232
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,281
That's 'cause Vince ain't a costume guy.

233
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,241
On Halloween this guy goes
dressed as himself.

234
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:42,659
Thank you, Turtle!

235
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:45,329
You see, he knows me.

236
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,122
Maybe I should let him be my manager.

237
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,833
Charge you 5%. This guy's ripping you off.

238
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:53,545
You know, Vince, wearing a costume
can be very liberating as an actor.

239
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,924
You remember how much
I enjoyed being a Power Ranger.

240
00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:59,134
You were a Power Ranger on CityWalk.

241
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,428
You were trying to get people
to change their long-distance plan.

242
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,472
- So? It's still liberating.
- Look,

243
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,517
Johnny, I don't wanna wear the Aquaman suit,
or any other suit.

244
00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:10,145
In fact, I don't want to play anyone
who doesn't wear a T-shirt.

245
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,400
- Hey.
- Is that Ari? Is that Ari?

246
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,360
Hey. Hold on a second.

247
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:17,861
- Okay.
- Ask him about the Mansion.

248
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,446
Tomorrow morning? See you then.

249
00:12:19,531 --> 00:12:21,698
- Yo, yo.
- Relax. It's the realtor.

250
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:23,826
We're going to look at Brando's house
first thing in the morning.

251
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,494
- Brando.
- Brando.

252
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:41,510
Now that's a house worth living in.

253
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,346
This is one of Marlon's first homes.

254
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:48,016
He sold it to Johnny Depp in '95.

255
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,811
Johnny was living here
when he was making Ed Wood.

256
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:51,937
Great movie.

257
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:54,064
Johnny Depp's got the kind of career I want.

258
00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:55,983
Johnny Depp did Pirates ofthe Caribbean.

259
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,277
If I'm not mistaken,
he wore a swashbuckler costume

260
00:12:58,361 --> 00:12:59,403
and carried a sword.

261
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,655
I heard he dresses like that in real life.

262
00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:04,199
Nice!

263
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,994
And by the way,
wasn't Marlon Brando in Superman?

264
00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:09,496
Yeah, he played the father, no tights.

265
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:12,833
And by the way, you're starting to annoy me.

266
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:16,003
On a clear day, you can see Catalina.

267
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:18,755
This is where you should be living, Vince.

268
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,966
In a kingdom, like a prince.

269
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,260
Don't you mean a kingdom
like a king, you idiot?

270
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:26,054
Nah, E, everyone wants to kill the king.

271
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,056
But the prince, he just sails along

272
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:31,101
telling all the ladies,
"One day I'm gonna be king."

273
00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:33,270
Queen's got it pretty good too.

274
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:35,564
Queen's got to fuck the king, Drama.

275
00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:38,859
Yeah, but she don't got to do nothing else.

276
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:41,028
I love this place, Susan. How much is it?

277
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:42,654
They're asking 4.3,

278
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,656
but the owner is a real star-fucker.

279
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:47,701
If I tell her it's for you,
I'm sure she'll drop to four even.

280
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,287
That's great,
it's only four times our price range.

281
00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:52,998
But it's at least
nine times nicer than that Craftsman.

282
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:54,958
So you'd still be coming back out on top.

283
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:56,919
I love your math skills, Turtle.

284
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:59,546
I'll take it. Call Marv,
have him start the paperwork.

285
00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:00,756
Okay.

286
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,550
You can't afford this house, Vince.

287
00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:06,178
I can't afford anything we have.
Never stopped me before.

288
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:07,846
It's always worked out.

289
00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:09,264
Besides, we don't have time to house-hunt.

290
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,599
We got to get a job.

291
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:14,186
Ari. What's up?

292
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,896
I just had a tête-à-tête with Hef.

293
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:17,439
- How'd it go?
- The good news is

294
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,942
I just sold Playboy TV to North Korea.

295
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,360
Kim Jong II loves Night Calls.

296
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:24,238
Bad news is, your boy Drama
will not be joining us.

297
00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:27,491
Ari, you carry about as much weight
as Lara Flynn Boyle.

298
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,368
A lifetime ban is a lifetime ban.

299
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:32,037
Who are we without our integrity, right?
A little break at the slipper.

300
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:35,832
That was Ari.

301
00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:37,751
No go, Drama. I'm sorry.

302
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:40,712
It's not the Mansion, but we can
always have chicken wings at Hooters?

303
00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,800
Nah, this is my problem.

304
00:14:46,094 --> 00:14:47,636
I'll deal with it.

305
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:07,948
- Hey, buddy.
- Johnny Drama.

306
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:09,283
What the heck are you doing here?

307
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,451
I want you to call up Hugh Hefner

308
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:14,037
and tell him it was you
that freed the monkeys.

309
00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:15,872
When were you
at the Playboy Mansion, Ralph?

310
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:19,001
That was over 10 years ago, honey.

311
00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:22,504
My life is different now, John.

312
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,006
I'm a daddy.

313
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,467
You know?

314
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,761
- You crazy, fucker?
- Just make the call.

315
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:31,471
I'm not into that game anymore, all right?

316
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:33,390
- I got a new series now.
- Really?

317
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,100
Well, you know, it's a pilot.

318
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:37,102
But I don't know shit
about any monkeys, Drama.

319
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:39,646
Bullshit. I remember you
screaming the PETA chant

320
00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,315
- right before you freed them.
- PETA?

321
00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:42,566
You got the wrong guy, asshole.

322
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,109
I bought my wife a chinchilla coat.

323
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:46,486
- If it wasn't you, then who did it?
- How should I know?

324
00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:48,071
We were drunk off our asses.

325
00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:51,199
Come on, Ralph. You're married.

326
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,368
You got a family. You got a life.

327
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,037
I got nothing but the Mansion.

328
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,788
Can't you make the phone call?

329
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:58,832
Drama, when it comes to the Mansion,

330
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:00,250
it's every man for himself.

331
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,169
But you said you're done with all that.

332
00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:04,671
I lied. I'm going tonight.

333
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,174
I ought to kick your ass.

334
00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:08,800
You wanna try?

335
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,387
I'll deal with you later.

336
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,723
See you tonight, motherfucker!

337
00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:17,893
I hope so, John.

338
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,020
Pound some Cuervo like the old days, huh?

339
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,660
Turtle, you know you forgot to take
the price-tags off your pajamas?

340
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,745
I didn't forget. I'm returning these Monday.

341
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,121
Guy's a genius.

342
00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:41,667
What's the use of spending
$1,200 on PJs if nobody knows it?

343
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:43,919
You're all class, Turtle.

344
00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:49,841
- Hey, Marvin.
- Eric, put Vince on the phone.

345
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,803
It's Marvin. He wants to talk to you.

346
00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:54,429
He's right here!

347
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:58,684
Hey, Marvin!

348
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:01,853
When you asked me how much you could
spend on a house, what did I tell you?

349
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:04,272
- You were a little vague.
- "Vague"? Bullshit!

350
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,775
I told you you could spend $1 million.

351
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,319
I'm spending less than that.
The bank is coming up with the rest.

352
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,613
Vince, you cannot afford that house.

353
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,865
At best, you could last
for a couple of months.

354
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:17,202
Then what? You're gonna be
out on the street like your brother.

355
00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:18,286
And you know what?

356
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:21,373
You don't have a younger brother
like you to mooch off.

357
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:24,042
Marv, I can't hear you. You're breaking up.

358
00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:25,293
I'm up in the hills...

359
00:17:26,129 --> 00:17:27,212
He's angry.

360
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:43,562
Where are you going, Ari?

361
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,773
I have a meeting, so...

362
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,775
At the Playboy Mansion?

363
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,948
You know, Playboy Mansion,
strip clubs, whorehouses...

364
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:57,576
I go where the meetings are.
It's my fucking job.

365
00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:00,120
I want three weeks in the south
of France with the children.

366
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:01,955
Oh, my God, baby!

367
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:04,958
- Of course you can go.
- With you.

368
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,419
And if you're not home by 2:00 a.m.,

369
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:08,920
I'm gonna be standing at the gate screaming,

370
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,673
"Ari Gold, super agent, forgot his Viagra!"

371
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,092
Sounds good.

372
00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:19,598
Can you pop your trunk, please?

373
00:18:20,391 --> 00:18:22,225
Trunk's broken, buddy.

374
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:29,691
Pop your trunk, please.

375
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:32,861
All right.

376
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,955
- Pat!
- Drama, you wanna get out of there?

377
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,957
Hey, we got another stowaway, partner.

378
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:50,086
Pat, I've known you for, like, 10 years.

379
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,713
Can't you guys let me slide?

380
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,006
Not a shot in hell.

381
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:56,593
Do you know bringing in stowaways
can get you banned for life?

382
00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:59,137
It's not their fault.
They didn't know I was in the car.

383
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:01,223
Guys, it was my idea.

384
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:02,641
- I told him to.
- Don't listen to him.

385
00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:05,310
He's my kid brother
and he's trying to take the blame.

386
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:06,645
Johnny.

387
00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:08,688
Go on, go have fun. Don't worry about me.

388
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,108
My night's done.

389
00:19:12,193 --> 00:19:13,819
Can you call me a cab?

390
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:16,446
Try using your thumb down on Sunset.

391
00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,198
Patrick.

392
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:06,788
Would you look at all
the nice fake titties in this place?

393
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:07,956
I thought you liked naturals.

394
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,542
I believe in a woman's right to choose.

395
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:14,087
- Nice pajamas.
- It's formal nightwear, but thank you.

396
00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:15,630
That's it, this is proof.

397
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,632
God is definitely a man.

398
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,510
Excuse me, sweetheart.

399
00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:26,099
Good luck returning those.

400
00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:29,811
- Sorry.

401
00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:32,314
Fuck!

402
00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:37,485
Yeah!

403
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,030
- Hey, get out of the street, you faggot!

404
00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:43,158
- Nice legs, fudge packer!
- Fuck you!

405
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,826
Right here, college boys!

406
00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:50,332
What?

407
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:51,750
Yo, Drama.

408
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:54,586
I detected a weakness in Hef's security detail.

409
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,463
I'm not coming back.
I'm almost home already.

410
00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:57,839
I took care of you as always, all right?

411
00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:01,051
Just come back to where it all began,
the monkey cages.

412
00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:03,470
I know you don't
want to talk about it right now.

413
00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:05,472
I had an amazing meeting at Warner's.

414
00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:08,058
Ari, please don't ruin the Mansion.

415
00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:10,226
You're gonna want to hear this, believe me.

416
00:21:10,478 --> 00:21:11,811
You know what I want to hear?

417
00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:13,980
I want to hear what
the lovely Hef girls have to say.

418
00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:16,399
Look how rude you are,
with your back to these lovely ladies.

419
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:17,943
They're better to look at than listen to.

420
00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:20,528
What do you got?
Sorry. What do you got for us?

421
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,614
What does the middle "A" stand for, Ari?

422
00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:23,990
- Arrogant?

423
00:21:24,075 --> 00:21:25,909
- Abrasive?
- Argumentative?

424
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:28,036
- Annoying?
- Asshole?

425
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,121
Et tu, Vinnie? Et tu?

426
00:21:36,879 --> 00:21:38,254
You okay?

427
00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:41,466
Good job, kid.

428
00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:42,968
- Hey, did you see Macchio?
- No.

429
00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:45,178
- Keep your eyes open.
- All right, come on.

430
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:48,181
Yeah, well, the thing is,
once the show hits syndication,

431
00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:50,475
you got to like find
some tax deductions, you know.

432
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:51,810
Vince, I'm telling you...

433
00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:54,479
Real estate? Best investment ever.

434
00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:56,189
See, if it's not acting,

435
00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:57,607
we'll make our money through real estate.

436
00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:59,484
I should start commissioning
some of your capital gains

437
00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:02,529
so I can start seeing
some income out of this relationship.

438
00:22:02,613 --> 00:22:04,239
Oh, shit. Miss April.

439
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,574
Guys, I got to hide. I'll see you in a bit.

440
00:22:08,202 --> 00:22:09,911
Guy's got three houses, we don't have one.

441
00:22:09,996 --> 00:22:11,121
He's a worker, though, Vince.

442
00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:13,498
The guy does a TV show,
a radio show, he's a D.J.

443
00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:14,624
He does a million things.

444
00:22:14,709 --> 00:22:17,502
You do Aquaman,
you got five houses. Boom.

445
00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:20,338
Don't you need to be home to your wife, Ari?

446
00:22:20,423 --> 00:22:22,340
No, I make the goddamn rules.

447
00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:24,300
I got till 2:00.

448
00:22:24,385 --> 00:22:26,761
What are you saying? You're pissing me off!

449
00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:28,972
Don't get in my face.
What are you getting in my face about?

450
00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:30,849
- Just be a man and admit it!
- Johnny!

451
00:22:30,933 --> 00:22:32,934
- Admit you did it!
- I told you I didn't do it.

452
00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:34,019
- Admit it!
- I didn't do it!

453
00:22:34,103 --> 00:22:37,022
I already told you that,
you ex-evening soap star!

454
00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:39,858
- I did an indie, asshole!
- Excuse me. Johnny!

455
00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:42,527
Johnny Chase. The Monkey Boy.

456
00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:43,653
- Hef.
- Vince.

457
00:22:43,738 --> 00:22:45,947
- How are you?
- Good to see you.

458
00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:47,115
Johnny's my brother,

459
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:49,617
and he swears it wasn't him
that let the monkeys free.

460
00:22:50,286 --> 00:22:51,745
Well, what's the real story, John?

461
00:22:51,829 --> 00:22:54,622
Well, Mr. Hefner, I'm not one to rat,

462
00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:56,916
but it was this guy that sprung the apes.

463
00:22:57,001 --> 00:22:58,418
With all due respect, Mr. Hefner,

464
00:22:58,502 --> 00:23:00,295
I never went near that zoo, never.

465
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,089
Well, you boys better remember who did,

466
00:23:03,174 --> 00:23:05,300
or you're both out of here.

467
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:06,593
It was a long time ago.

468
00:23:06,677 --> 00:23:08,053
And we were so drunk.

469
00:23:08,137 --> 00:23:10,472
We were sitting at that table
by The Grotto over there.

470
00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:12,265
We were banging out shots of Cuervo and...

471
00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:14,350
It was me and you and...

472
00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:18,438
Pauly!

473
00:23:18,522 --> 00:23:20,065
Let the fuck go of me!

474
00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:22,817
That's my fucking bad arm, you piece of shits!

475
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:25,820
They shouldn't be locked up
in cages in this house and you know it.

476
00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:27,572
I'm gonna fucking get you, bro!

477
00:23:27,656 --> 00:23:29,908
- Get him out of here.
- Lifetime ban, Pauly.

478
00:23:29,992 --> 00:23:31,701
Oh, bro, no!

479
00:23:33,454 --> 00:23:35,580
I think he just called Hugh Hefner "bro."

480
00:23:35,664 --> 00:23:37,123
- I'm sorry, guys.

481
00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:39,542
Sorry, Vince.

482
00:23:39,627 --> 00:23:41,419
- Thank you, Mr. Hefner.
- You have a good time.

483
00:23:41,504 --> 00:23:44,130
- Thank you, Mr. Heffner.
- And behave yourselves.

484
00:23:44,215 --> 00:23:45,757
- We will.
- I appreciate it.

485
00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:47,926
Thanks, Hef! Good night!

486
00:23:48,010 --> 00:23:49,219
Yes, I'm back.

487
00:23:49,845 --> 00:23:52,013
- Bro, thank you!
- Of course.

488
00:23:52,515 --> 00:23:54,349
Ralph, man, sorry about that.

489
00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:56,518
- I had you wrong.
- Come on, let's get a drink.

490
00:23:56,644 --> 00:23:59,145
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll talk about that pilot.

491
00:23:59,230 --> 00:24:01,356
Listen, there's nothing in it for you.

492
00:24:11,075 --> 00:24:14,244
Hey, Vince, we gonna throw parties
like this at the new house?

493
00:24:14,328 --> 00:24:17,122
No. E doesn't think we can
afford the new house.

494
00:24:17,206 --> 00:24:19,207
E's a fucking buzz kill.

495
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:20,792
I thought you don't need all the toys, Vince?

496
00:24:20,876 --> 00:24:22,544
Yeah, I don't need them. I like them.

497
00:24:22,628 --> 00:24:24,963
The worst thing that happens
is they kick you out.

498
00:24:25,047 --> 00:24:27,715
They give you time
to pack up your shit, bro, trust me.

499
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,175
They ain't kicking us out, all right?

500
00:24:29,260 --> 00:24:31,094
Vince is a superstar.

501
00:24:31,178 --> 00:24:32,804
If it ain't this, it's something else.

502
00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:35,723
M.C. Hammer could've used a guy
like you, Turtle, back in the day.

503
00:24:35,808 --> 00:24:38,434
I don't know about you,
but I'm in this for the long haul.

504
00:24:38,519 --> 00:24:40,645
Oh, yeah, what do you think we're in it for?

505
00:24:40,729 --> 00:24:44,065
Well, I don't know.
Did you really hate the script?

506
00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:45,859
No. I mean, I liked it.

507
00:24:46,527 --> 00:24:49,195
I don't wanna end up
looking like an idiot on the screen.

508
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,322
Wow. I've never seen you this insecure.

509
00:24:51,407 --> 00:24:53,992
I'm not insecure.
I'm just not confident enough to think

510
00:24:54,076 --> 00:24:56,703
- that I can be a superhero.
- Now that I see an opening,

511
00:24:56,787 --> 00:24:59,414
Warner's is willing to bank $100 million

512
00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:02,000
on the fact that you are a superhero.

513
00:25:02,084 --> 00:25:04,127
They loved you so much in the meeting today,

514
00:25:04,211 --> 00:25:07,297
they want to shoot back-to-back movies,
like Lord ofthe Rings.

515
00:25:07,381 --> 00:25:10,216
That do anything for your confidence?
They wanna give you

516
00:25:10,301 --> 00:25:13,178
five for the first, seven for the second.

517
00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:15,013
God willing, if there is a third,

518
00:25:15,097 --> 00:25:17,849
they want to give you 12. Boom!

519
00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:20,894
That's like $50-fucking-million, Vince.

520
00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:22,520
No, it's 12.

521
00:25:23,272 --> 00:25:25,899
That's $1.2 million for E.

522
00:25:25,983 --> 00:25:27,859
And I'm still gonna be making $200 a week?

523
00:25:28,152 --> 00:25:30,570
That's bullshit, Vince. Raise!

524
00:25:30,654 --> 00:25:33,823
Vince, you wanna buy that house?
Do this movie.

525
00:25:37,244 --> 00:25:38,369
All right.

526
00:25:41,582 --> 00:25:43,166
Can you get me suit approval?

527
00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:44,751
You can wear tube socks and a yarmulka!

528
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,343
All right, fuck it. Lock it down.

529
00:25:53,427 --> 00:25:55,178
That's what I'm talking about!

530
00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:56,512
Nice working, baby!

531
00:25:56,597 --> 00:25:58,556
Hey, you know, Aquaman's got a brother.

532
00:25:58,641 --> 00:26:00,391
I'm just saying.

533
00:26:00,476 --> 00:26:02,018
I'm telling you he's got a brother.

534
00:26:02,102 --> 00:26:04,354
God damn, I wish I wasn't married!

535
00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:06,397
"Aqua-brother" right here.

536
00:26:06,482 --> 00:26:09,734
He's betting you the 0.2! It was 1.2!

537
00:26:09,818 --> 00:26:11,861
I'm telling you, Aquaman's got a brother.

538
00:26:11,946 --> 00:26:12,946
No, he doesn't.

539
00:26:13,030 --> 00:26:15,198
We need more jungle juice for the kids!