1 00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,424 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:18,911 (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) 3 00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:27,420 - Six. - Are you out of your mind, Drama? 4 00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:28,880 That girl was perfect. 5 00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,967 Excuse me, sweetheart. 6 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,387 How would you like to come to a movie premiere Wednesday night? 7 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:38,973 "Aquaman"? 8 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:42,518 - I'd love to. - Here you go. 9 00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:44,812 - See you there. - Thanks. 10 00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:46,814 See you there. 11 00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:48,858 "Six" my ass, Drama. 12 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:52,445 She was a six to me. And I wouldn't have given her a ticket. 13 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:55,656 50 hot girls have walked by, guy's had a problem with every one. 14 00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:57,617 - That's 'cause none will look at him. - What was wrong with her? 15 00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,368 She was top-tall, bro. 16 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,120 What the fuck is top-tall? 17 00:02:01,205 --> 00:02:03,498 Torso's too long, legs are too short. 18 00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,875 - She was inverted. - Your brain's inverted. 19 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,919 I don't have to defend my rating system. 20 00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:11,214 Every girl I've given a ticket to has been at least an eight. 21 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,883 And what do you rate, Drama? I'm just curious. 22 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,302 Blow me, E. I don't have to rate, I'm holding the cards. 23 00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,971 Not many cards left. How many did you guys give out anyway? 24 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,097 Just the right amount. 25 00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:21,557 Yeah, it's like chumming for sharks, Vince. 26 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,309 You throw enough blood and guts in the water, 27 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,769 you're bound to catch a great white. 28 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,729 Yeah, except there's gonna be 50 girls at the party 29 00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:28,523 who all show up thinking they're your dates. 30 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:31,651 And what happens when 50 sharks show up looking for their goodies, E? 31 00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:33,820 BOTH: Feeding frenzy. 32 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:35,822 Whatever. We got Ari in 30. Let's roll. 33 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:37,323 Let's do it. 34 00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:45,164 Hey. 10! 35 00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:46,707 (ALL LAUGH) 36 00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,961 - Last ticket. - Our work here is done. 37 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,087 Excuse me! 38 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:03,015 Jesus Christ! Lloyd! 39 00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:10,147 What the fuck is this? 40 00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:11,983 - Your finger. - It's dust, Lloyd. 41 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,734 It's fucking dust. Why is it here? 42 00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,404 The cleaning staff's on strike. You know that. 43 00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:19,657 They strike, you work. You're Asian. You're supposed to be a neat freak. 44 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,367 Go get a rag. 45 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:23,411 You're nervous Vince is coming up. 46 00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:26,831 - Lloyd! - It's the agent, Ari, not the office. 47 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,916 And you do have a lovely view. 48 00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:30,877 It's West Fucking Hollywood, Lloyd! 49 00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:34,380 And what I got is nine people in 1400 square feet. 50 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,173 Now go grab a rag. Go! 51 00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:39,969 I want every desk to be sterile enough for you to get trained on. 52 00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:45,933 Lloyd! 53 00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,486 Look at this. 54 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,530 (SCOFFS) What a dump. 55 00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:01,449 You could use the exercise anyway, fat boy. 56 00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:04,827 Yeah, why don't you race me up, you 50-year-old cocksucker? 57 00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:12,460 Hoo-hoo! Hey, Lloyd. 58 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,378 - Hey. - Hey, Lloyd, 59 00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:16,213 you might want to tell someone the elevator's out. 60 00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:19,008 I would tell someone, Johnny Drama, but who? 61 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,052 Do you guys need a quarter to feed the meter? 62 00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:23,179 (CHUCKLES) No, we're all good, Lloyd. 63 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,514 You telling me I couldn't be repped at this shithole? 64 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,850 You've been repped at bigger shitholes, right? 65 00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:30,686 - What's the good word, boys? - Ari! 66 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,647 DRAMA: Hey, Ari. 67 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,524 Hey, the place is, uh, it's really... 68 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:38,361 - It's nice. - Thanks, Drama. How're you doing? 69 00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:40,863 Still no agent. 70 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,281 What do you say? 71 00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:44,700 I say that it's important that whoever reps you 72 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,535 cares about you, right? 73 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:49,413 - Right. - Right. Vinnie, E, let's go. 74 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,959 Awful. Just awful. 75 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:56,295 So boys, boys, big week. 76 00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:59,674 Big week. The kind of week that you will remember your whole lives. 77 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,968 Like the week that you got your first blowjob. 78 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,220 Do you remember that week? I do. 79 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,304 Ninth grade. 80 00:05:05,389 --> 00:05:06,806 One of the boys on the chess team, Ari? 81 00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:09,266 Oh, E. You could never have gotten this girl. 82 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:13,062 Never. Beth Mariposa had a mouth 83 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,564 like a Dyson vacuum. You know, never lost suction... 84 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:18,067 Okay, Ari, big week. Why are we here? 85 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:20,027 - I want to talk business. - Okay, shoot. 86 00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:22,655 Who are you taking to the premiere? Shauna says you're rolling solo. 87 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,865 - No, I'm gonna roll with the boys. - No no no. You're not gonna 88 00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:27,034 roll the red carpet with the Three Musketeers. Not this time. 89 00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:29,453 - It's only two. I'm bringing Sloan. - Perfect. 90 00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:32,581 Let Vinnie walk the rug with her. She's way too hot for you anyway. 91 00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:34,417 - He's worried. - Definitely. 92 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,168 - What am I worried about? - The movie. 93 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,713 - You're worried it's not gonna open. - This is why we should've taken a job. 94 00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:40,548 Should we have taken another job, Ari? 95 00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:43,843 You take a job after we open. Any job you want. 96 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,512 He always said "you take your next job 97 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,015 - "before the last one opens." - That was your quote. 98 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,182 Yeah, but I amended that quote 99 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:52,351 when you got James Cameron and the biggest movie ever. 100 00:05:52,436 --> 00:05:53,894 - He's nervous. - Definitely. 101 00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:56,689 Boys, I am not nervous. We are all good. 102 00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:58,524 But this is the biggest night of your life. 103 00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:01,152 This is your coming out party. This ain't "Head On." 104 00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:03,654 We want to make a statement. A statement that says, 105 00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:05,781 "I am a man now, not a boy." 106 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,616 Come on, let's be classy. 107 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:10,077 You've been banging every girl west of Sepulveda for the past six months. 108 00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:11,871 Just pick the one skank that's gonna photograph well 109 00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:13,289 and be done with it. Boom! 110 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,041 - Hey! - That does sound classy. 111 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,835 E, for the love of God, help me out here. 112 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,670 Look, I agree it's a big night. Okay? 113 00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,464 And if you're gonna take someone you got to be smart. 114 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,174 This girl's gonna be linked to you for a long time 115 00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:26,135 - so she's got to be premiere-worthy. - Okay. All right. 116 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:30,598 I just don't think any of my west of Sepulveda skanks fit the bill. 117 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,559 Bottom line, there's only one woman in my life 118 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,394 who really is premiere-worthy. 119 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,146 - Who? - Ma. 120 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,523 Aquamom! 121 00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:40,983 I love it. Boom! 122 00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,360 There's no way Ma's coming to L.A., bro. 123 00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:45,237 - No way. - We'll see. 124 00:06:45,489 --> 00:06:46,655 You've never gotten her to come before. 125 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:47,948 What makes you think she'll come now? 126 00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:49,200 - She won't. - No way. 127 00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:50,826 - We'll see. - Why do you keep saying we'll see? 128 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,287 - I've got a plan. - What kind of plan? 129 00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:54,747 You'll see. 130 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,334 Power 106, Big Boy's neighborhood. 131 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,544 Vincent Chase is in the hood! 132 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,715 The movie is "Aquaman." Premieres Wednesday. 133 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,550 It's huge. It's everywhere. 134 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:10,387 My question to you, Vince, is how is it? 135 00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:13,432 I begged Ma to come to my "Viking Quest" DVD release party. 136 00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:16,644 She said no. What would possibly get her to come to this? 137 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,355 TURTLE: Look at these two. 138 00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:24,360 One on the left is from the 50 Cent video. 139 00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:27,571 Ooh. Video hos. 140 00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:28,697 I love it. 141 00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:30,950 What the fuck are you looking at? 142 00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,618 (STAMMERING) 143 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,037 I'm just playing with you, sweetie. 144 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:37,998 (CHUCKLES) 145 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:40,709 Flirty video hos. Even better. 146 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,005 - So, Big Boy, I need a favor. - Anything for Aquaman. I got you. 147 00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:48,801 I need you to call the most beautiful woman in the world 148 00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:50,803 and ask her if she'll be my date for the premiere. 149 00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,012 That's done. Watch this. 150 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,973 Get Halle Berry on the phone for him, man. 151 00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:58,018 Actually, Halle Berry doesn't even hold a candle to this woman. 152 00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:00,437 Okay, now you know... Roll him out. 153 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,731 That's blasphemy. That'll get you cut up in here. 154 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,733 - It's my mother. - BIG BOY: Okay, sorry. 155 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,986 - Good plan. - We'll see. 156 00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,738 Ma will not cave in to public pressure. No way. 157 00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,407 (RINGING) 158 00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:18,205 - Hello? Yeah. - Hello, Mrs. Chase? 159 00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:20,166 How're you doing? It's Big Boy. You're live on the radio. 160 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:21,709 Power 106 in Los Angeles. 161 00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:24,295 If I haven't won anything, let me save you the time. 162 00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:27,840 - Hey, Ma, don't hang up. - Vincent, is that you? 163 00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,509 Yes, Ma, and we're live so don't curse. 164 00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:32,720 - BIG BOY: Please don't curse. - What do you mean we're live? 165 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:35,055 Don't do this to me. Look, I'm standing here in a robe. 166 00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,182 Don't do this to me. 167 00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:39,268 Ma, no one can see you. Calm down and don't curse. 168 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:42,188 What am I, some kind of animal? Will you please stop saying that? 169 00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:44,899 - Is your brother with you? - Yeah, Ma, he's outside. 170 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:46,400 Has he gotten any work yet? 171 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:48,319 Ma, don't worry about Johnny. He's fine. 172 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:52,156 We'll talk about him later. I want to talk to you, okay? 173 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,282 You're brothers? 174 00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:56,911 - Yeah. - I'm a close cousin. 175 00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:59,538 Over the radio you need to talk to me? What are you up to? 176 00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:01,790 I want you to come to the L.A. Premiere with me. 177 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,168 Vincent, this is not the forum for this discussion. 178 00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:06,337 - She is not coming. - Of course she's not coming. 179 00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:08,505 - What's the issues? - She doesn't like to travel. 180 00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:10,591 - That's an issue. - All right, all right. 181 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:12,885 I don't need the whole world thinking I'm a lunatic, Vincent. 182 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,554 Look, I haven't been out of New York in 30 years, okay? 183 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,806 - She's breaking. - Not even close. 184 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,851 - And putting me live on the radio... - Ma, you know what? 185 00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:24,730 Just forget about the 100 million potentially heartbroken listeners 186 00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:27,483 - and listen to me for a second. - Oh, fuck, Vincent. 187 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,859 Whoa, Mrs. Chase! 188 00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:31,403 - Mama gangster. - I knew she'd curse. 189 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:33,239 - That's 'cause she's breaking. - No way. 190 00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,783 - Ma. - Yeah, baby? 191 00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:39,161 I love you and I've never pressured you to come out. 192 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:42,289 Not for any of my premieres, not when I bought my house. 193 00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:45,709 But I didn't realize what a big night this was till a little while ago. 194 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,462 And it's important to me that I share it with you. 195 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:51,048 So I'll send a boat, I'll send a plane. 196 00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,925 I'll do whatever I have to do, 197 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:56,053 but I want you by my side when I walk down that red carpet. 198 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:59,515 - This is moving shit. - Still won't work. 199 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,725 - Ma? - Vince. 200 00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:04,103 - Yeah? - All right. 201 00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:06,146 I will do it. I'm coming. 202 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:08,190 - BIG BOY: Yes! - (CHEERING) 203 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,526 You got yourself a date! 204 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,779 (SINGING) You got yourself a date! Got yourself a date! 205 00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,864 You got yourself a date! 206 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:18,033 I can't believe it. 207 00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:20,286 She better come to my next premiere. 208 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:23,914 Hey, why don't you guys take us to this premiere? 209 00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,710 - Yeah. - Absolutely. 210 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,296 There's no more tickets. What do you guys want from me? 211 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,172 - We want more tickets. - Just two. 212 00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,716 Don't make a big deal out of it. 213 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,719 I'm still stinging from the knowledge that Ma favors Vince. 214 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,595 Ari gave you guys 50 tickets. 215 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:41,223 You want more have Vince call him and ask him. That's it. 216 00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:44,768 Vince, will you please call Ari and ask him for two more tickets? 217 00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,187 - No. - TURTLE: Oh please, Vince! 218 00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,648 We peaked too early. You can't punish us for that. 219 00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:52,651 Yeah, how were we supposed to know best in show would appear so late? 220 00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:56,155 Let me ask you a question: What's so special about these two, huh? 221 00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:58,324 These two will fuck us if we take 'em. 222 00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,242 - Guaranteed. - How do you know? 223 00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:02,328 'Cause they said if you take us we'll fuck you. 224 00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:05,289 (LAUGHS) Call Ari. 225 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:09,501 Are these for Vince or are they more for Turtle and Drama? 226 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:12,880 - E: They're for Vince, Ari. - Don't lie to me, E. 227 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,382 Ari, your business manager's on the phone. 228 00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:18,969 I'm in the gym until 11:30, Lloyd. I need two more tickets for Vince. 229 00:11:19,054 --> 00:11:20,095 We don't have any more. 230 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:23,682 Take two from Jimmy Woods, he never uses them all anyway. 231 00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,684 Okay, but your business manager, Ari. 232 00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:27,728 The gym, Lloyd. The fucking gym! 233 00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:29,855 - It's pretty urgent. - It's pretty urgent 234 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,899 that in the 15 minutes a day I have free 235 00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,526 I take the time to keep this body fit. 236 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,695 And not just so you have a great ass to look at... 237 00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,322 I want to live. 238 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,992 Ari, he says you bounced a check to your kids' school. 239 00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:48,957 So you'll just send those tickets over, Ari? 240 00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:50,959 Thanks. 241 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:52,711 - (DIAL TONE) - (THUDS) 242 00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:55,547 Okay, no wonder everyone at the book drive was staring at me. 243 00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:57,549 They were staring at you because you're hot, okay? 244 00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,468 Look at all the other mommies. They're ugly. 245 00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:01,720 This is so humiliating. 246 00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:04,223 I had no idea we were in this bad of trouble, Ari. 247 00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:06,100 Look, it's not like this was tuition. 248 00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:07,935 This was our charitable donation. 249 00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:11,230 25,000-bucks-a-year tuition so a six-year-old 250 00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:14,400 can play with blocks and they still want a charitable donation? 251 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,443 I mean, this won't even affect our kids. 252 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,529 We'll never have to see the kids this affects. 253 00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:20,614 Ari, tell me what you need now. 254 00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:23,075 Now that you ask, we've got to pay off the staff, 255 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,285 - we've got rent on the office... - What's the number? 256 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,787 - I need 100 grand. - Jesus! 257 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:29,581 Come on, baby. I'm on fumes here. 258 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:33,043 It'll float me until I get the settlement from Terrance. 259 00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:36,672 Well, I have dipped into my personal savings five times already. 260 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,006 What's mine is yours. 261 00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:41,635 - Sell your car. - Sell your fucking watch. 262 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,679 You eat at The Palm four nights a week. 263 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,597 Do I ever order the lobster? 264 00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:48,767 No, I order the Gigi salad and I sign clients. 265 00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:50,811 Honey, the master plan is happening here. 266 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:53,814 The seeds have been planted all over this town. You know that. 267 00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:56,108 Honey, they just need a little water. 268 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,402 You keep telling me that but when are they gonna grow? 269 00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:01,113 Vinnie opens on Friday. He is the first seed to bloom. 270 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:02,948 He's gonna be the biggest movie star on the planet. 271 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,033 - You know that. - No, Ari. I don't. 272 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,244 Well, you need to know that I know that, okay? 273 00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:10,164 And you need to trust me the way you trust your daddy's trust fund. 274 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,624 All right? You call them personal savings 275 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,460 but you haven't saved shit personally. 276 00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:15,711 Whatever, Ari. 277 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,754 My father put that money aside for me 278 00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:19,882 in case something happened to us and it's almost gone. 279 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,301 But we're still here and I could've banged Heidi Klum when she was 23 280 00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:24,970 but I took a pass, okay? What the fuck is gonna make me leave now? 281 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:26,180 You could die. 282 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,891 You'd like that, wouldn't you? 283 00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:32,728 Not until I saw that the life insurance check didn't bounce. 284 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,900 Ooh, what do you think about this? 285 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,402 Oh, I like it. Ma would look great in that. 286 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,154 What about this? 287 00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:46,200 - Look how excited you are. - Does that make me a pussy? 288 00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:48,869 No, it makes you a man. And a very handsome one. 289 00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,871 - Now what size is she? - I don't know. E? 290 00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,498 A: I don't know women's dress sizes 291 00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:53,916 and B: I don't look at your mom's body. 292 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,627 You don't? I look at your mom's. 293 00:13:56,711 --> 00:13:57,794 Shut the fuck up. 294 00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:00,839 We'll take this whole rack in different sizes. 295 00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:03,175 Nice when you're on commissions, huh, sweetheart? 296 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,886 Now let's go find me a dress that makes my tits pop. 297 00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:08,305 Jeez, and you have me walking up. 298 00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,140 Do you know how much these shoes cost? 299 00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:12,267 Of course I know how much they cost, Stephanie. I fucking paid for them. 300 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:15,187 And you told me I was gonna meet Jim Cameron. 301 00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:16,855 - When did that happen? - Oh, it's Jim now. 302 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,315 We were supposed to have lunch last week. 303 00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:20,192 - Jim Cameron, I love that. - You know what? 304 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:23,028 Now where are we? This fucking place. 305 00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:27,241 - This way. - How do you know? 306 00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,909 - I don't know. - Yeah, you don't know. 307 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:30,202 Please. 308 00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,706 Fucking elevator's broken, Lloyd. Are you aware of that? 309 00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,667 Yes. Hi, Mr. Woods. 310 00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:38,877 So this is the shithole he's been working out of, huh? 311 00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:40,087 - You haven't been up here yet? - No, 312 00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,464 he's hiding this place like Anne Frank. 313 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:45,759 - Um... - Hey, get your own girlfriend. 314 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,804 Mr. Woods, did you get your premiere tickets? 315 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,265 Some of them, Lloyd. Some. 316 00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:56,061 (PHONE RINGING) 317 00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,856 - Hello? - Johnny Drama, 318 00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:02,150 it seems that we made a terrible mistake. 319 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:05,028 The tickets we sent you yesterday actually belong to James Woods. 320 00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:08,198 Oh yeah? That sucks. 321 00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:10,784 Uh, yes, it sucks. And I need them back. 322 00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,245 - No go. - Fuck that. 323 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,955 Uh, Johnny... 324 00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:17,291 Lloyd, possession is two-fifths of the law. 325 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:19,626 - Just get Woods two more. - Turtle, there are no more 326 00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:22,838 and Mr. James Woods is very unhappy and he wants them back. 327 00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:26,091 Sorry, bro, but you tell Jimmy Woods... 328 00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:27,926 And this is coming from me personally... 329 00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:30,178 If he wants them he can come and get them. 330 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,683 Fuck Jimmy Woods. 331 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,399 I heard. 332 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,610 - This is for your premiere date? - Uh-huh. 333 00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,987 - He's taking his mother. - Oh, that's really sweet. 334 00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,323 I don't know, I can't decide. Should I just take them all? 335 00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:51,533 E: Yeah, if you're desperate for frequent flyer mileage. 336 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,452 I'm gonna take them all. 337 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:56,580 Uh, here, take my card too. 338 00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:58,206 In case you need anything else. 339 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,500 Why don't you just say what you really mean, hon? 340 00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:02,711 - (PHONE RINGING) - Hello? 341 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,796 Eric, it's your other mother. 342 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:07,174 Hey, Rita. Why aren't you on the plane? 343 00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:09,885 - Eric, is Vince with you? - Yeah, are you okay? 344 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,220 - Hold on. - No, don't get him. Don't get him. 345 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,973 Look, I'm at the airport. I can't do it. 346 00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:18,268 I can't get on the plane. I've been sitting in the limo for over an hour. 347 00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:20,979 - Did you miss your flight? - Honey, I'm not coming. 348 00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:24,191 - Hold... Let me put Vince on. - No don't, please. 349 00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:27,110 I just can't have him guilt-tripping me about this right now. 350 00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:29,488 Tell him I love him. Tell him I miss him. 351 00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,823 - Tell him to wear a suit. - Rita! 352 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,950 Tell him I'm very sorry. Bye bye. 353 00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,996 - Ari? - No, it was your mother. 354 00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:39,998 She's not on the plane? 355 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:53,178 Sweetie, just calm, okay? 356 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,180 Of course. 357 00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,609 (DOORBELL RINGS) 358 00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:11,571 Holy shit, it's Woods. 359 00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:14,324 - Hey, Drama, it's Jimmy Woods. - TURTLE: What? 360 00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,956 - Hello? - Hey, Drama, hey. 361 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,624 Hey, it's Jimmy Woods. 362 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,127 I need my tickets. 363 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,170 Uh, what tickets, Jimmy? 364 00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,339 (CHUCKLES) 365 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:32,843 Drama, look, I got a... I got a big day for the... 366 00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:35,178 You know, I got to get a facial. 367 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,097 Just give me the fucking tickets. 368 00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:39,057 - Uh... - (WHISPERS) No. 369 00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:40,308 - No. - (LAUGHS) 370 00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:48,817 How about... How about you got five seconds 371 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:52,988 to give me my fucking tickets? 372 00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:54,698 Five. 373 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,324 Or what? 374 00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:59,536 You gonna huff and puff and blow the house down? 375 00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:02,497 How about I'm gonna knock this fucking door down 376 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,459 and come in there and shove your head up Turtle's ass? 377 00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:09,212 Give me my fucking tickets! You got five seconds! 378 00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:11,047 Five! 379 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,513 (MAIL SLOT SQUEAKING) 380 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,694 You pussy. 381 00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,571 A clever pussy. 382 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:37,991 There are no tickets in that envelope. 383 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:40,994 - (LAUGHS) - Wow. Sneaky sneaky. 384 00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:43,580 - Fuck with me, huh? - Just remember your blood pressure. 385 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,415 No, don't... Ah, my blood pressure up the ass, okay? 386 00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,751 I've got medicine. I've got medicine for this shit. 387 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:51,213 I've got so many fucking pills I feel like I'm working for Pfizer. 388 00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:53,381 - Come here. - All right. 389 00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:58,470 Hey, I'll see you tomorrow night, Vince! And up your ass! 390 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,355 I've got it. Jessica Biel. 391 00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:11,858 - Take Jessica Biel, Vince. - I don't know Jessica Biel, Turtle. 392 00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:14,194 So get to know her and get to bang her. 393 00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,946 Or get to know her so I can bang her. 394 00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:17,489 Okay, I'll do my best. 395 00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:18,907 You don't want to take someone famous, bro. 396 00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:20,784 - Why not? - They'll overshadow him. 397 00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:23,078 I learned that from Tom Sizemore 398 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,622 when he brought Heidi Fleiss to the "Black Hawk Down" premiere. 399 00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,083 Bringing a hooker's probably not a good idea either, Drama. 400 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,751 I wasn't going with Ma for the press 401 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,586 and I'm not going with anybody else for the press. 402 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,964 I'll go by myself. It's not that big a deal. 403 00:19:34,257 --> 00:19:37,008 Thanks for dinner, Johnny. I'm gonna go get changed. 404 00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:39,052 Meeting the jewelry store girl. 405 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,347 He's bummed. 406 00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:44,391 He loves strawberries. 407 00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:46,601 Ma must be bummed too. She's missing something big. 408 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,354 Nah, Ma doesn't care if she misses things 409 00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:52,357 as long as no one else she knows catches her. 410 00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:54,276 Ma can be very petty. 411 00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:01,533 What? What's with the look? 412 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,123 - I've got a plan. - DRAMA: What, now he's got a plan? 413 00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:10,250 For my Ma, everyone's got a plan. 414 00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:12,210 I hope you're not thinking what I hope you're not thinking. 415 00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:13,712 What do you hope he's not thinking? 416 00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:17,757 - Make the call to her. - I'm not making the call. 417 00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:20,635 I'm making the call, you're making the call. Now make the fucking call. 418 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:23,054 - What call? - TURTLE: This will ruin the whole night. 419 00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:25,932 It's not your night, it's Vince's night. Make the call. 420 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,476 Aw fuck. 421 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:31,479 - What time is it back east? - 10:30. 422 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,818 Will someone please tell me how you did this? 423 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,987 - Oh, quit your whining. - Seriously, 424 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,989 what do you want to ruin the surprise for? 425 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:44,409 Just worry about how you're gonna get Ma to my next big event, bro. 426 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:47,454 The good news is you'll have plenty of time to plan for that one. 427 00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:49,998 (LAUGHS MOCKINGLY) You're funny. 428 00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,543 Ma! Ma! 429 00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:56,338 I can't believe this. How did you do it? 430 00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:59,132 Holy shit! (LAUGHS) 431 00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:04,346 (LAUGHS) Ms. Jericho! 432 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,473 Yeah, it's real funny. 433 00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:09,142 Best pussy night of the year and we just destroyed it. 434 00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:12,604 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 435 00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:18,652 Hey, Ma! 436 00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:22,739 Always hugs him first. I am your firstborn, Ma. 437 00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:23,865 Did you bring a dress, Ma? 438 00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,367 No, I'm gonna wear this on the red carpet. 439 00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:27,786 - Fucking idiot. - Nice way to travel, isn't it? 440 00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:29,788 Yeah, but where is Sloan? I'm dying to meet her. 441 00:21:29,872 --> 00:21:32,666 Soon, Mom, soon. You're gonna meet her tonight at the premiere. 442 00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:35,043 I'm glad I came. This is gonna be fun. 443 00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:45,804 - Limo's coming at 6:30. - I'll be back. 444 00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:47,347 Pick up my suit from the tailor? 445 00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:49,099 I'm going to the fucking tailor, all right? 446 00:21:49,183 --> 00:21:52,519 So I can pick up the new $5,000 suit that I fucking paid for. 447 00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:56,022 (DOG MOANS) 448 00:21:57,274 --> 00:21:59,359 What? I've heard a lot worse 449 00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:01,820 come out of your wife's mouth, Phil! 450 00:22:02,071 --> 00:22:03,822 (CROWD SCREAMING) 451 00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:36,146 When you're doing a comic book character 452 00:22:36,230 --> 00:22:38,940 it's even more critical that everything be absolutely real. 453 00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:42,235 So we had to devise a way for Vince to really breathe underwater. 454 00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:45,113 - WOMAN: Turtle, Drama! - Hey! 455 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:47,574 - Do you have our tickets? - We couldn't get 'em. 456 00:22:47,658 --> 00:22:48,700 Who's that animal? 457 00:22:48,784 --> 00:22:49,868 What do you mean you couldn't get 'em? 458 00:22:49,952 --> 00:22:51,786 I just got my hair pressed for this shit. 459 00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:54,080 Next time, ladies, next time. 460 00:22:54,749 --> 00:22:58,209 I play Avedon, a brutal and corrupt businessman 461 00:22:58,294 --> 00:23:00,003 hellbent on world domination, 462 00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:04,090 so I'm not sure how I really identify with such a character. 463 00:23:04,175 --> 00:23:07,886 Oh hey! Whoa, look at this! Look at this. 464 00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:10,764 Now here's the real star of the Chase family, 465 00:23:10,848 --> 00:23:13,600 Johnny Chase, huh? Johnny Chase. 466 00:23:13,684 --> 00:23:16,394 God, this guy... Did you ever see "Viking Quest," huh? 467 00:23:16,479 --> 00:23:19,189 Well, you're probably too young. I love this guy! 468 00:23:19,273 --> 00:23:21,149 Johnny Chase, nice to see you. 469 00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:22,609 Okay, buddy, take it easy. 470 00:23:22,693 --> 00:23:25,945 - Big movie, you look handsome. - Thank you very much, 471 00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:27,614 - and you look lovely. - Thank you. 472 00:23:27,698 --> 00:23:30,450 - So tell me: How do you feel? - Oh, I feel great. 473 00:23:30,701 --> 00:23:32,911 I'm so proud to be part of this movie 474 00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:35,997 and James Cameron is simply a genius. What can I say? 475 00:23:36,207 --> 00:23:38,249 Yes, he is. He's coming up right behind you. 476 00:23:38,334 --> 00:23:40,251 Okay, don't party too late tonight. 477 00:23:40,336 --> 00:23:43,254 If they don't like the movie, reshoots 8:00 am tomorrow. 478 00:23:43,339 --> 00:23:44,923 Okay. (LAUGHS) 479 00:23:45,007 --> 00:23:47,050 - He's serious too. - Go get 'em, Vinnie. 480 00:23:47,218 --> 00:23:50,845 - He looks good out there. - ARl: He's gonna be a huge star. 481 00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:53,348 - You really believe that? - I know it. 482 00:23:53,891 --> 00:23:56,768 - MAN: Vincent, over here! - I trust you. 483 00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:59,938 - But still no lobsters. - I love you. 484 00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:04,025 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)