1 00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:08,466 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:29,088 Fuck you doing, Vince? 3 00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:31,507 - I can't sleep. - Why not? 4 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,094 I think we should fire Ari. 5 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:40,433 - What's wrong? - I had a nightmare. 6 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,727 (SIGHS) Was I with another man? 7 00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,021 No, Vince was. 8 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,439 (SCOFFS) 9 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,900 I think he's gonna fire me today. 10 00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:50,234 (SIGHS) 11 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,907 E: No, he screwed up good this time, Vince. There's no denying it. 12 00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:58,367 You had this movie, a movie that you love, 13 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,077 and he fucked it up. 14 00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:01,913 Put a bullet in him. Be done with it. 15 00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:03,581 Leave the gun, take the cannolis. 16 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,249 You're awfully quiet, Johnny. 17 00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:07,210 DRAMA: I think everyone should just take a moment, 18 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:10,338 try my eggs Florentine and take a deep breath. 19 00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:13,800 You think I should keep Ari even after this? 20 00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:16,135 DRAMA: I'm not sure what you should do, bro. 21 00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:18,679 But I do know you don't make a decision this big on emotion. 22 00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:21,390 And you don't make it till you know what's next. 23 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:22,517 What do you mean? 24 00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,560 Well, I mean, nobody appreciates their girlfriend 25 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,938 until they get herpes from the next broad. 26 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,190 - Know what I'm saying? - VINCE: No, I don't. 27 00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:31,400 - Do you know what he's saying? - BOTH: Nope. 28 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:34,070 I'm saying you don't dump your girlfriend 29 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,364 until you're flirting with a couple other young hotties. 30 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:39,075 See what other agents are out there, hmm? 31 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,369 - It's not a bad idea. - Yeah, I do have a couple. 32 00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:44,330 Yeah, I'll meet other agents after I fire Ari. 33 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,833 I like it, Vince. Icy cold. 34 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:49,377 You know it. Give him a call, E. 35 00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:51,379 Oh, yeah, real icy. 36 00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:54,131 Fine, I'll call. 37 00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:55,424 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 38 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:56,884 Hi, E. 39 00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:58,469 It's not E, Lloyd. It's Vince. Hi. 40 00:02:58,554 --> 00:03:00,388 Hi, Vince. 41 00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:03,182 - Is he in? - I'm not sure. Hold on, let me check. 42 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:06,310 It's Vince. 43 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:10,273 This is starting early. Tell E I'll call him back. 44 00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,483 It's not E, Ari. It's Vince. 45 00:03:12,568 --> 00:03:15,444 Vince? He called himself? 46 00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,156 Jesus Christ, this is not good. 47 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:20,992 - Tell him I'm not here. - Really? 48 00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:23,703 Yeah, first rule as an agent is you never take an angry client's call 49 00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,997 unless you have good news that will make him smile, all right? 50 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:29,125 Now go make an excuse, any excuse, and get Alan Gray on the phone. 51 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,252 - I already called. - Call him again. 52 00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:33,963 I gotta get Vince's movie back. Now go, Lloyd, go! 53 00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:37,925 I am so sorry, Vince. He is not here. 54 00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:39,969 Oh, well... 55 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,388 then when he gets in, tell him I'd like to have lunch. 56 00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:45,308 He wants to have lunch. 57 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:48,644 Vince, I've got his schedule. There's no way he can make lunch. 58 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:51,522 He has a ginormously important lunch already planned. 59 00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:54,191 Okay, then tell him to call me back. 60 00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:55,776 Okay, I will. 61 00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:58,321 Why the fuck did you just tell him I had a more important lunch? 62 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,323 Do you think that's gonna put a smile on his face? 63 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,700 - What did you want me to say? - That I have a huge wart 64 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,578 on my cock that needs removal would have been better. 65 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,830 Wake the fuck up, Lloyd. 66 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,707 (COMPUTER BEEPS) 67 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,460 - That's Alan Gray's assistant. - What does it say? 68 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,879 It says, "Alan will see you at 10:30." 69 00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:17,673 It's 10: 10. How the fuck am I gonna make it to the Valley? 70 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,801 By running, Ari, by running! 71 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,723 - He had a ginormously huge lunch. - Is that even a word? 72 00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,100 - I don't know. - Well, whether it is or it isn't 73 00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:31,395 he should be eating breakfast, lunch and dinner with you. 74 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,231 He should be over here making the fucking beds. 75 00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:36,859 - Ari doesn't like us anymore. - "Boutique Ari" loved us. 76 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,152 "Big Agency Ari" doesn't. 77 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:40,404 Ari does not appreciate the little guy. 78 00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:42,031 Have I become the little guy? 79 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:45,117 - It's just an expression. - This is every agency card 80 00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:47,620 any of us have been handed over the past five years. 81 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:49,455 You saved 'em all? 82 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:52,041 Yeah, like there's something weird about that. 83 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,377 Come on, we each pick one. Bro. 84 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:58,089 Fuck it. Ari's a dick. Let's flirt. 85 00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:01,384 Okay, Rick Zimmerman, InterTalent. 86 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,302 Didn't they close in, like, 1990? 87 00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:06,222 Oh, yeah, that was given to me during my "Midnight Caller" recurring. 88 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,099 Why don't we just call Terrance? 89 00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:11,143 And have Vince repped by E's girlfriend's father? 90 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,479 - What if she dumps him? - It's a good point. 91 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,481 Please. I'll call the majors. 92 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,483 Make this easy. 93 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,735 Oh, yeah, I remember her. 94 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,029 Bitch. 95 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:24,156 (TIRES SCREECHING) 96 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:32,957 (CAR ALARM CHIRPS) 97 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:45,219 23 minutes to the Valley. I'm like Chuck Yeager. 98 00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:48,055 Uh-huh, he's waiting. 99 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,307 - Do you need a drink? - I'm all good. 100 00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:59,400 - Morning, Alan. - You've got two minutes, Ari. 101 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:02,778 - Be grateful for that. - I am, Alan, I am. 102 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,864 So let me guess. This Ramones project 103 00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:08,034 has been causing some discomfort between you and your biggest client. 104 00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,869 Hemorrhoids cause discomfort, Alan. 105 00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:11,871 This is more like open-heart surgery. 106 00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,874 Well, maybe you should take this as a sign, Ari. 107 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:17,168 I mean, you made your name in TV packaging anyway. 108 00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:19,211 Maybe talent relations just isn't your thing. 109 00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:21,213 What the hell you mad at me for, Alan? 110 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,215 I did everything I could to get Vince on "A2." 111 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,217 He's a kid. He made a mistake. 112 00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,344 You know he'd kill as Joey Ramone. 113 00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:30,973 Well, maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. 114 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,517 But I do know that Jake Gyllenhaal definitely will. 115 00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:37,313 I saw some of his camera tests for "A2." He's brilliant. 116 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,315 You know what my only regret is, Ari? 117 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,317 That I didn't put Jake in "A1." 118 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:44,236 Because I could only imagine it would have been even bigger. 119 00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:47,073 Alan, that's not really fair, okay? Vince was great. 120 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:49,075 Well, thank you, Dana, but you're here to take notes, 121 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,786 not offer opinions. Since there really aren't any notes to be taken, 122 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:55,039 you don't need to be here at all, do you, hmm? 123 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:57,541 Come to think of it, neither do I. 124 00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:59,752 It's two minutes, Ari. Goodbye. 125 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:02,338 Hard to believe that 126 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,925 you've been divorced three times, Alan. 127 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,265 This is weird. I've never had another agent. 128 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:15,309 I don't even know what to look for. 129 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:17,311 Well, let me be your guide, Vince. Over the years, 130 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:19,355 I've developed a foolproof system for judging the merits 131 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,274 - of a prospective agency. - I guess you've had a lot of practice, 132 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,026 considering how many times you've been dropped. 133 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,945 Never officially dropped, Turtle. 134 00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,530 Although one did move without telling me. 135 00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:30,658 - Now what's your system? - I judge an agency on four categories... 136 00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:34,078 decor, service, amenities and ambiance. 137 00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:36,122 Give up to 10 points for each category. 138 00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,707 The agency with the highest overall score wins. 139 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:42,336 I originally devised it for my visits to day spas, but it's perfectly applicable. 140 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,964 Yeah, I'm sure there's a direct correlation between Vince's career 141 00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:47,383 - and your anti-aging regimen. - (LAUGHING) 142 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,177 I give 'em a six for decor. 143 00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,388 I mean, what kind of self-respecting agency 144 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,390 has fake plants in their lobby? 145 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,684 I don't think they're fake. There's a girl over there watering them. 146 00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,561 Yeah, maybe the water's fake, huh, Drama? 147 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,730 Hi, Vince. I'm Vanessa, Gene's assistant. 148 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,941 - I love the decor. - Hi. 149 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,152 - And you must be Eric, hi. - How are you? 150 00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,279 - I'm Turtle. How you doing? - Hi. 151 00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:11,907 - And you are? - Not for sale, honey. 152 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:15,619 Well, everyone's waiting for you guys down at the conference room. 153 00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:17,329 If you gentlemen would like to follow me. 154 00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:19,039 We'll be out soon. 155 00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:22,042 Didn't even offer us a drink. That's a zero for service. 156 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,044 Yeah, but still, I'd give 'em a 10 for amenities 157 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:26,297 if she'll let me service that ass. 158 00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:33,971 The way we see it, you're not just an actor, Vince. 159 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:36,182 You're not just a movie star. 160 00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:38,851 You, sir, are a brand. 161 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,477 (CLICK) 162 00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:42,146 Mercedes... 163 00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:47,902 Coca-Cola, two of the most recognizable names 164 00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,987 on the planet. 165 00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:53,407 Vincent Chase. 166 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:58,245 We intend to make you as popular as both of them. 167 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,668 Vince has called three times, Ari. 168 00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,837 That's three times more than he called all of last year. 169 00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:09,590 I know. He keeps calling me, too, and I got an e-mail. 170 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,592 I didn't even know he knew how to do that. 171 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,552 - I have other information. - Yeah. 172 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,221 It's also regarding Vince. 173 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:18,140 Speak or I will intern you like it's 1942. 174 00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,351 - I am not Japanese, Ari. - Speak! 175 00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:23,354 Vince is taking a meeting with another agency. 176 00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,689 - How do you know that? - The Gay Mafia 177 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:28,567 has been replaced by the Gay Assistant Corps, Ari. 178 00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:31,820 We know all. 179 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,990 He'll be at Le Petit Four at 1:30 meeting with Andy Left. 180 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:38,202 Jesus, he's gonna humiliate me in public after all these years. 181 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,746 I know. It's all so sinister. 182 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,123 - I hate break-ups. - It ain't over yet. 183 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,417 Call Left's office and tell him it's Eric. 184 00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:47,419 Ari. 185 00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:50,422 - Oh, it's Hitler's evil twin. - I need to talk to you. 186 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,758 You know, Dana, the only time I've ever enjoyed talking to you 187 00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:55,094 - is when your mouth has been full. - Okay, is that nice? 188 00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:57,513 LLOYD: Ari, I have Left's office. 189 00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:00,140 - Hey, Mr. Murphy. - Hey, bro, listen, I hate to cancel 190 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:03,143 on such short notice, but Vince isn't gonna be able to make lunch. 191 00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:06,563 - Sorry, bro. - Oh my God. Hold on. Let me get Andy. 192 00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:09,149 You don't need to do that. Just tell him he's a great big fag. 193 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,235 - All right, see ya. - (DIAL TONE) 194 00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,823 - That's nice, Ari. - You ain't seen nothing yet. 195 00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:16,991 What's up, Dana? 196 00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:18,742 I'm gonna tell you something, but you have to swear 197 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,869 - it's not gonna come back to me. - As always, hand on heart. 198 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,539 - Ari, please. - I swear. 199 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,374 Alan's not gonna make this movie. 200 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,376 He bought it just to spite Vince, 201 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,461 and he's gonna stick it in a drawer. 202 00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:33,424 - Jesus, he really is crazy. - Mm-hmm. 203 00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:36,468 - Why you telling me this? - Because I hate working for him, 204 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,971 and I want out. And, Ari, come on. 205 00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:42,016 I mean, I love this movie. I grew up on the Ramones, 206 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:45,519 and I love it for Vince, so get me on as a producer. 207 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:47,688 Sure, how? 208 00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:50,899 - It's Alan's movie. - No, not yet it isn't. 209 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,235 They're still negotiating Bob's perk package. 210 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,030 So just make sure he doesn't sign those papers. 211 00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:04,371 Dana, I have never cheated on my wife, 212 00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:06,040 not since she became my wife, 213 00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,916 but if you want to jerk me in the car right now, I'm game. 214 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,294 Rain check, Ari. 215 00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:16,759 Was a little corporate, huh? 216 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,302 Yeah, I felt like I was in Trump's boardroom. 217 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,012 Well, an overall score of 22.5 218 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:22,014 doesn't bode well for them anyway. 219 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:25,392 Yeah, but still, if that assistant calls me back, maybe we should go with 'em. 220 00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:27,227 Hasn't Vince gotten you laid enough, Turtle? 221 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,229 Well, that depends. What's your definition of enough? 222 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:31,398 - Come on, the search continues. - Hi, how are you? 223 00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:33,067 We're here to meet Andy Left for lunch. 224 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:36,362 Andy Left canceled his reservation over an hour ago. 225 00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:38,739 - Are you sure? - That's what it says, yeah. 226 00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:41,033 The guy doesn't even bother to call you? 227 00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:43,827 I'd say that's a substantial point loss in the service area. 228 00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:47,539 Forget about points, Turtle. That earns Left a bitch-slap. 229 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,666 Take it easy, Drama. I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. 230 00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,044 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 231 00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,755 - MAN: Andy Left's office. - Hey, Lamar, right? 232 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:57,216 It's Eric Murphy. I'm standing outside Le Petit Four 233 00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,676 with Vincent Chase. They said that Andy canceled lunch. 234 00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:02,805 - You canceled lunch, Eric. - I didn't cancel anything, Lamar. 235 00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:06,350 Uh-huh, and I suppose that you didn't call Andy a big fag, either. 236 00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,852 - What? - Andy would have shed blood, 237 00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:11,897 sweat and tears for Vince, but he has his principles. 238 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:12,981 (CLICKS) 239 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,278 Somebody fucked with us, canceled our lunch, 240 00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,072 said I called Andy a big fag. 241 00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:21,657 - ALL: Ari. - Definitely! 242 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,909 - He's cockblocking, Vin. - Yeah, but how did he know? 243 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:26,954 Because he's Ari, and he's a dirty sweaty scumbag, 244 00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:29,373 - but he's good. - Ari, it's E. 245 00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:32,584 You need to call us back now. No answer. 246 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,753 - Oh, he's definitely avoiding us. - Definitely. 247 00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:37,798 It's the right move, like when I wanted to dump Rhona Davies. 248 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,925 She knew about it, and moved to Australia. 249 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:42,636 I had to wait two whole years to tell her we were through. 250 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,513 Fuck it, what's next? 251 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,640 - We got Josh Weinstein at 3:00. - Really? 252 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,851 How do you think Ari's gonna take that one? 253 00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,228 Josh Weinstein? 254 00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,230 Are you fucking kidding me? 255 00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:55,149 I'm not, and I tried your little lunch cancelation trick, 256 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:58,068 - but he was onto it somehow. - Josh fucking Weinstein! 257 00:12:58,153 --> 00:13:01,196 I don't believe it. I'd rather Vince fuck my wife. 258 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:02,698 No, Ari, no! 259 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:06,118 Just keep me informed, Lloyd. 260 00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:08,829 Open up the goddamn door, Bob! 261 00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:12,458 BOB: Go away, Ari, or I'm calling my security company. 262 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:14,501 And they're all ex-Navy SEALs. 263 00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:18,547 Bob, stop. I come bearing gifts. 264 00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:22,801 I don't want gifts. I want quiet. 265 00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:25,554 Bob, you've known me 20 years, all right? Let me in. 266 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,639 What kind of gifts do you have? 267 00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,642 My car. 268 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:32,936 750i BMW, 269 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:35,564 3,300 miles, built-in iPod dock. 270 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,609 Oak dash. It's beautiful. 271 00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:41,361 - You own it, or you lease it? - I lease it, 272 00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,655 but I will continue to make the payments until it expires, 273 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,407 unless you expire first. 274 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,787 You're desperate, huh? 275 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:53,081 Bob, I will strip down naked and breakdance through Beverly Hills 276 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,709 if it will get you not to sign that deal with Alan. 277 00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,836 I don't want your junk. All I want to do is make the movie. 278 00:13:57,921 --> 00:13:59,755 - That's all I ever wanted. - Bob... 279 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,633 Alan's not going to make that movie with you, never ever. 280 00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:04,426 Oh, that's complete bullshit. 281 00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:07,137 No, it's not. It's the truth. You gotta trust me. 282 00:14:07,222 --> 00:14:09,681 Trust you... oh, ho. 283 00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:11,683 Why the hell should I trust you? 284 00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:14,895 Because I spoke to someone, Bob, someone who knows. 285 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:17,523 - Who? - Doesn't matter who. What matters is 286 00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:20,526 - it's the truth. - That's not good enough. I need proof. 287 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,612 I can't reveal my sources. 288 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:27,366 - I promised I wouldn't talk. - Go home, Ari. 289 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:30,369 Dana Gordon, 290 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,579 V.P. Of production with Alan. 291 00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:35,791 I used to fuck her back in the day, so she owes me. 292 00:14:39,254 --> 00:14:41,922 Ah. 293 00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:45,217 - Like the fish. - Like the artwork. 294 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,178 Ooh, I like her and her and her. 295 00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:50,472 Looks like about 40 points to me, huh, Johnny? 296 00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,349 Slow down, Vince. We haven't seen the underbelly yet. 297 00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:54,560 - There's an underbelly? - Don't be ignorant, E. 298 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:57,604 - There's always an underbelly. - Vince, E. 299 00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:59,856 I knew someday our paths would cross again. 300 00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:02,401 - Good to see you, Josh. - Great to see you, Vince. 301 00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:05,862 And you, Johnny, are you looking for representation as well? 302 00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:09,074 Heard about the Ed Burns pilot. It's a great script. 303 00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:11,493 Today, I wanna focus on Vince, but you call me tomorrow if you have 304 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,869 any needs that aren't being met. 305 00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:16,623 May, get these guys some drinks. 306 00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:19,376 Oh, and, Turtle, all my assistants love to fuck. 307 00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:22,754 I ask 'em when they interview. True story. 308 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:25,215 Come on in, guys. The whole team's waiting. 309 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:28,135 - We're so excited. - I love it here. 310 00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:30,345 Underbelly, Turtle. 311 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,806 Underbelly. 312 00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:41,607 - You feeling this? - Definitely. 313 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,233 (CLICKS) 314 00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,320 (TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING) 315 00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:49,072 JOSH: Apple... 316 00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:51,908 Canon... 317 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:54,286 Vincent Chase. 318 00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:04,671 Are you happy, Ari? Or is this madness that will turn on me 319 00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:06,673 - on a moment's notice? - This is happiness, Lloyd. 320 00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:09,217 This is pure heterosexual male happiness. (KISSES) 321 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,302 (LAUGHS) 322 00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:12,554 - So Bob was receptive? - Bob was lucid. 323 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,140 Bob was coherent. Bob was amiable. 324 00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:17,184 Bob could come to no other conclusion 325 00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:19,353 than to return this film to its rightful owner... 326 00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:21,480 Vincent Chase. 327 00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:23,231 I like when you're happy, Ari. 328 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,317 You know, Vince was my first discovery. 329 00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,319 I built other stars' careers, but he was mine. 330 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,654 I saw him in this commercial, 331 00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:31,323 and I said, "This kid has got something," and I was right. 332 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:33,033 He's more than a client, Lloyd. 333 00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:35,035 He's like my baby. 334 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,329 I love Vince, Lloyd. 335 00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,331 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 336 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,668 Ari Gold's office. 337 00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:45,420 - It's Dana Gordon. - And I love Dana Gordon, too. 338 00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:49,591 I love you, Dana Gordon. 339 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,636 You swore you would keep your mouth shut, you slimy piece of shit. 340 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,596 Dana... 341 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,848 Even though I know what a lowlife you are... (SNICKERS) 342 00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,642 I always trusted you. 343 00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:01,603 - Ditto, Dana, ditto. - But you fucked me. 344 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,190 I was desperate, Dana. 345 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:08,276 Ari, you have one day to find me another job, 346 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,404 or the next time I see you at The Palm, I'm going to squeeze 347 00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:13,240 your fucking dick with a claw cracker, all right? 348 00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:15,242 Miss Gordon, I'm afraid your five minutes are up. 349 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,202 - It's time to go. - Fuck you! 350 00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:20,205 Put one hand on me, and I scream rape. 351 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:23,542 This is a classic example of not judging a book by its cover. 352 00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:26,378 - That place was all surface. - You were right, Drama. 353 00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:30,006 All surface. I don't believe any of those assistants love to fuck. 354 00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:31,717 You couldn't even get a number, huh, Turtle? 355 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,385 - Not a one. - This is depressing. 356 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:34,928 Maybe we just go without an agent. 357 00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:37,597 Drama did that for 10 years. Really worked for him. 358 00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,307 Suck it, Turtle. 359 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,393 Did you sign those papers, Bob? 360 00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:44,521 You know, you got that poor girl fired, Ari. 361 00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:47,315 - Did you sign them? - I-I felt terrible 362 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,526 about calling Alan, but this is my baby, 363 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:52,112 - and she was messing with my baby. - Bob! 364 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:56,241 I made a 50-year career, a half-century career 365 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,034 trusting my instincts, Ari. 366 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:00,120 And what the fuck did your instincts tell you, Bob? 367 00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:02,914 They told me it's a different world out there today. 368 00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:05,584 Different players. Different ethics. 369 00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:07,961 Different bullshit. 370 00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:10,589 It's a lot less fun, and I don't like it. 371 00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:12,257 Bob! 372 00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:15,385 I signed the papers, Ari. 373 00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:18,305 I don't know if I was right, 374 00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:20,557 but I signed the damn papers. 375 00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:25,520 I'm over this town. 376 00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:27,314 I'm sorry. 377 00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:33,403 Yeah, me too, Bob. 378 00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:35,071 Me too. 379 00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:45,916 I don't have anything good to tell Vince. 380 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,627 Just get him on the phone. Let me take what's coming. 381 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,840 How is it to take it in the ass anyway, Lloyd? 382 00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:55,759 I don't know, Ari. I'm on top. 383 00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:57,719 Come on, really? 384 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,765 Anyway, make the call. 385 00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:04,684 - No. - No what? 386 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:07,771 No, I will not call. 387 00:19:07,855 --> 00:19:09,439 Oh, fuck, this is not gonna be another one 388 00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:11,483 of your "Queer As Folk" pep talks, is it, Lloyd? 389 00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:14,069 Yes, Ari, yes, it is. And it's gonna be a good one. 390 00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:18,198 Look, you said first rule of an agent is not to call a client 391 00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:20,909 till you have good news. Well, you have no good news. 392 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:24,246 But I have news for you, Ari Gold. Yes, you screwed up. 393 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,082 Yes, you were devious. Yes, you were conniving. 394 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,376 But, yes, you care. 395 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,878 I know that even when you throw 396 00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:34,381 the most hurtful homophobic slurs my way, 397 00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:36,383 that you really do care. 398 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:38,385 Vince knows that. Just remind him. 399 00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:43,765 You're right, Lloyd. Look at this place. 400 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,476 75,000 square feet all built 401 00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:48,186 on my giving a fuck. 402 00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:50,188 Make the call. Tell every agent 403 00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:52,524 in this building to get prepared. 404 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:55,318 - For what? - For battle, Lloyd. 405 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,362 For battle. 406 00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,197 (CELL PHONE RINGS) 407 00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:03,743 - Ari. - Finally. Stay strong, Vin. 408 00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:06,079 (EXHALES) Hey. 409 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:10,458 Hey. 410 00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:13,378 So we should talk. 411 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,339 Yeah, Ari, we should, but you're a tough man to get on the phone. 412 00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:18,049 We should talk in person. 413 00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:20,844 - All right, I'll drop in. - When can you be here? 414 00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:24,681 - 20 minutes. - See you then. 415 00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:31,730 He's coming. I'm actually nervous. 416 00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:35,066 - That's cute, Ari. - Get out of my office, Lloyd. 417 00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:41,281 - Should have just done it on the phone. - It's the right thing to do. 418 00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:43,950 Look him in the eye, let him know exactly why this is happening. 419 00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:46,995 Fuck that. Avoid all contact, Vin. 420 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,788 Let him wonder for the rest of his life. 421 00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:51,124 Courtney DeMayo ditched me on the phone in the first grade, 422 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:54,753 and I'm still wondering and hurting. The phone break-up is so cruel. 423 00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:57,339 Looking Ari in the eyes is not gonna be easy. 424 00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,591 Yeah, and you know he's gonna beg. 425 00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:02,302 (EXHALES) I mean, it's so fucking weird. 426 00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:04,721 This is gonna be the last time we drive to Ari's. 427 00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:07,724 - Yep. - Don't do it. 428 00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:09,684 What? 429 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,311 I think it's a mistake. 430 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:14,606 You saw what all those cookie-cutter guys were like today. 431 00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:16,608 They're all the same. An agent by nature 432 00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,610 is a lying, money-hungry cocksucker. 433 00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:21,446 That's the breed, and Ari is best in breed. 434 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:24,532 How do we know that, Drama? We've never been with anybody else. 435 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:27,160 I have. I've had 15 different agents over the years, 436 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:29,955 and only that few, 'cause I'm a loyal guy. 437 00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:31,581 Sounds like you don't want to get dropped 438 00:21:31,666 --> 00:21:33,124 from another agency when Vince moves on. 439 00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:35,126 Please, Turtle, if my pilot gets picked up, 440 00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,504 I could sign with anyone I want, and you know what? 441 00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:41,091 I'd stay with Ari. 'Cause we know where we stand with him. 442 00:21:41,175 --> 00:21:43,176 - He was there from the beginning. - (VINCE SIGHS) 443 00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:48,598 - What are you thinking? - I'm thinking he's right. 444 00:21:48,683 --> 00:21:51,685 I mean, Ari's been good to us. He's not like all those other guys. 445 00:21:51,769 --> 00:21:54,229 We know him. He's our friend. 446 00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:56,773 But he did fuck us on this. 447 00:21:56,857 --> 00:22:00,318 And as our friend, he should say he's sorry. 448 00:22:00,403 --> 00:22:04,030 Maybe he will, Vince. Maybe he will. 449 00:22:06,909 --> 00:22:08,743 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 450 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,296 - What's up, Lloyd? - Mr. Chase. 451 00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:22,674 - VINCE: Mr. Chase? - Ari wants me to do that today. 452 00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:25,176 Now let's head in. They're waiting for you in the conference room. 453 00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:26,511 They? 454 00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:28,513 We'll be out here enjoying the perfect-10 amenities. 455 00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:30,515 You know, even Lloyd's starting to grow on me. 456 00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:32,517 Oh, you think Lloyd's cute, Drama? 457 00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:34,644 You know what I mean, asshole. 458 00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:41,192 Gentlemen, welcome. 459 00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:43,611 - What is this, Ari? - Yeah, Ari. 460 00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:46,573 I thought this was supposed to be more of a face to face thing. 461 00:22:46,657 --> 00:22:49,492 It is, Vinnie, it is. It's you face-to-face 462 00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:52,328 with the face of this entire agency. 463 00:22:52,413 --> 00:22:55,457 Gentlemen, please sit down. 464 00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:58,626 BARBARA: Right now, Vince, phones here are ringing off the hook, 465 00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:00,879 and clients are wondering where their agents are. 466 00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:03,465 - And you know where they are? - Yeah, they're in here. 467 00:23:03,549 --> 00:23:05,467 Exactly, and you wanna know why? 468 00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:07,469 It's because we are 100% committed 469 00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:09,763 to giving Vincent Chase all that he needs. 470 00:23:09,847 --> 00:23:12,974 ARl: Vinnie, you do not need to hear about the past today. 471 00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:15,727 I'm not gonna bore you with the details of the past five years 472 00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:17,645 and all that we've done together. 473 00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:19,606 I don't even need to talk about the fact that I found you 474 00:23:19,690 --> 00:23:21,608 and brought you from obscurity to superstardom. 475 00:23:21,692 --> 00:23:23,401 Yeah, good thing he didn't mention that. 476 00:23:23,486 --> 00:23:25,695 - Yeah, really. - What you see before you, Vince, 477 00:23:25,780 --> 00:23:27,614 is a full-service agency: 478 00:23:27,698 --> 00:23:31,534 TV division, music division, reality division. 479 00:23:31,619 --> 00:23:34,162 God forbid, Johnny Drama's pilot does not go, 480 00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:37,332 boom, he's on "The Surreal Life," one phone call. 481 00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:40,210 BARBARA: We wanna make you bigger than movies, Vince. 482 00:23:40,294 --> 00:23:43,797 We wanna take you international. 483 00:23:45,966 --> 00:23:49,260 ARl: Microsoft, McDonald's, 484 00:23:49,345 --> 00:23:51,554 Vincent Chase. 485 00:23:51,639 --> 00:23:54,057 Brand-name recognition. 486 00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:57,352 What do you think? 487 00:23:57,436 --> 00:24:00,396 I think I need to think. 488 00:24:00,481 --> 00:24:02,857 Vince. 489 00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:04,859 It's pathetic, Ari. 490 00:24:09,824 --> 00:24:11,407 Vince, what are you doing? 491 00:24:11,492 --> 00:24:14,035 Ari, I didn't need the whole dog and pony show. 492 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:16,246 I really thought you were different from everyone else. 493 00:24:16,330 --> 00:24:19,415 - Vince, I am. - Ari, you do things your own way 494 00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:21,417 and you don't give a shit what we think about it. 495 00:24:21,502 --> 00:24:23,795 I do give a shit. You should have seen me today, 496 00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:26,089 begging and pleading, trying to get you that movie back. 497 00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:29,926 But it's gone. The past is the past. Let's look to the future. 498 00:24:30,010 --> 00:24:32,595 You're unreal. I mean, even after you fuck up like this, 499 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,974 you can't even muster the strength to just, as my friend, 500 00:24:36,058 --> 00:24:38,476 look me in the face and say "I'm sorry." 501 00:24:38,561 --> 00:24:41,020 - That's all you wanted? - That's all I wanted. 502 00:24:41,105 --> 00:24:43,439 Then I'm sorry, Vin. 503 00:24:43,524 --> 00:24:45,525 It's too late. 504 00:24:45,609 --> 00:24:47,569 - Vince. - Ari. 505 00:24:47,653 --> 00:24:50,196 - You're fired. - Let's roll. 506 00:24:51,782 --> 00:24:53,658 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)