1 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,503 Come on, boy. 2 00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:30,339 Oh, who's a good boy? 3 00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:35,470 "My vagina is a shell, a round pink tender shell, 4 00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:37,597 "opening and closing and opening. 5 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,432 "My vagina is a flower..." 6 00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:42,351 What the fuck is wrong with you? 7 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:43,853 Vagina Monologues. 8 00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:46,773 Me and Faustino are putting it up in class tonight. 9 00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:49,233 Vagina Monologues, I thought that was for girls. 10 00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:53,654 It's a gender reversal exercise, bro. That's what being a good actor's all about. 11 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:56,616 Sorry, Drama. I thought you already had your gender reversed. 12 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:57,700 Funny, dick. 13 00:01:57,785 --> 00:02:00,661 E, I decided we're going with the Benz. 14 00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:03,247 You're sure? You changed your mind 10 times already. 15 00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:06,167 No, I'm set. I had a dream about it last night. 16 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:09,921 I dreamt about it last night, too, Vince. We're cruising down Rodeo. 17 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:12,006 Suddenly two jerk-offs pull up and say: 18 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,966 "Chase brothers, fuck your mother!" 19 00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,468 And then open fire. 20 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,595 It had to be a dream. Somebody recognized you? 21 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:18,888 That's funny. 22 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,390 You're gonna love this. This is really good. 23 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:25,228 - You put soy milk in these again? - You're lactose intolerant. Don't fight it. 24 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:28,064 Vince, they got the stains out of your black Dolces. 25 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,148 Cool. 26 00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:31,317 I only got you nine iPods. They ran out. 27 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,653 - Did you get The Trades? - Right here, boss. 28 00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:36,781 - I'm just warning you. It ain't pretty. - Oh, really? 29 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:39,075 Fucking prick called you a thespian. 30 00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:41,536 Read it out loud, E. 31 00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:45,790 You don't want to hear this, Vince. 32 00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:47,750 Come on, man. I'm a big boy. 33 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:50,753 "In Head On, a by-the-numbers crime thriller, 34 00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:53,130 "only one thing is proven beyond a reasonable doubt: 35 00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:54,966 "Vincent Chase is guilty of fraud." 36 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,678 Wow. That's fucked up. 37 00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:02,640 Fuck critics. Remember what they said about me when Viking Quest aired? 38 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,934 Who laughed their way through a full 22? 39 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,185 Keep reading. 40 00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:09,689 "This fly-by-night pretty-boy, tapped as the 'it actor' of the moment, 41 00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:12,733 "makes walking and talking seem so difficult, that by the end, 42 00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:15,528 "you wish someone would just let the man rest." 43 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:20,449 - At least he said I was pretty. - All the Chase men are pretty. 44 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,910 Yeah. You're a real beauty queen, Drama. 45 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:26,497 - You all right? - Yeah. Whatever. 46 00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:29,250 Good or bad, you can't let what these people say affect you. 47 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:32,628 - That's right. 'Cause you're a fucking star. - True knocking. 48 00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:35,339 All right. We got Ari in 30 minutes. So... 49 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,884 Johnny, you still need some help with that scene? 50 00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,803 From a no-talent pretty boy like you? I think I'll pass. 51 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:41,888 Oh. 52 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:48,227 - Loretta, how you doing? - Hi, beautiful. 53 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:55,735 How you doing? 54 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:57,028 Four o'clock. 55 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:13,502 - Who's that girl? She's cute as hell. - That was fucking Justine Chapin, bro. 56 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,796 - The singer? - No way that girl's a virgin. 57 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,089 That's what she's famous for. 58 00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:19,467 She's saving it till marriage. Everybody knows that. 59 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:22,720 - Bullshit! I don't buy it. - Teen Beat don't lie. 60 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:25,097 Hey, you guys, I'm Emily, Ari's new assistant. 61 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:27,266 - Hi. - You are new, honey. 62 00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:30,519 It's good to meet guys from Queens. My dad's from Flushing. 63 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,688 - Oh, yeah? - Oh, yeah? Where'd you grow up? 64 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,983 I grew up out here. But don't hold that against me. 65 00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:38,778 - Can I offer you anything to drink? - I'll have a water. 66 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,446 Yeah, I'll have a water. 67 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,365 You got Welch's Grape Soda? 68 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,576 He's in a meeting. Can he call you back, please? 69 00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:46,744 Thank you. 70 00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:49,705 - Ari Gold's office. Please hold. 71 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:53,542 It's the girl's first day. You really needed to hassle her? 72 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:56,879 You order something unusual, people will never forget you. 73 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,548 I think E's got something for that Emily. 74 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,051 Seriously. 'Cause I'm always ordering weird shit, 75 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,553 and now, all of a sudden, it's become a problem? 76 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,139 - You like Emily? - I don't even know the girl. 77 00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,766 - I'll hook it up. - Don't do it. 78 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,643 Emily, you got a boyfriend? 79 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:13,270 'Cause my man, E, here just got his heart broken. 80 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,689 He thinks you're kind of cute. 81 00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,732 Oh, yeah? Which one's E? 82 00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:20,194 How you doing? 83 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,615 Lay off the new girl. She's not broken in yet. Come on in, boys. 84 00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:25,700 Hey, Ari. 85 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,577 - Hold everything for me, will you? - Yeah. 86 00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:29,704 Vince. Vince. 87 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:33,499 No representation. Just reminding you. 88 00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,297 Do me a favor. 89 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,551 Make sure I'm off book, okay? 90 00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:44,635 Okay. 91 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,554 Ari Gold's office. Please hold. 92 00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:50,599 "If your vagina could talk, what would it say, in two words?" 93 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,310 Eat me. 94 00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:54,520 Give me that thing. 95 00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,272 Look at the boy, huh? 96 00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:59,859 Wait for it. Boom! Look at the ass on my next door neighbor. 97 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,778 See that? Four kids. My wife says it's impossible to maintain. 98 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,238 You've a good-looking boy, Ari. 99 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,907 He likes chicks. See the glance? Look at that. 100 00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:10,578 What's up with this Justine Chapin chick? 101 00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:12,246 Justine Chapin. 102 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:16,208 Every young actor in Hollywood wants to be the first one in there. Take a number. 103 00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:17,877 Ah, come on. She's not a virgin. 104 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,462 Always the cynic, E. 105 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,840 Ari, should we be worried about this review? 106 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:26,385 No. It's not even a real paper, Vince. It's Variety. 107 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,721 I'm not worried. I think Eric's worried. 108 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:32,808 No, I'm not. I mean, it's a bad review. I would've preferred a good one, but... 109 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:35,394 - What's your point? - My point is, what're we doing? 110 00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:36,520 - What are we doing? - Yeah. 111 00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:37,563 What are we doing? 112 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:41,734 - What are we doing about Vince's next job? - I got Vince his next job. It's Matterhorn! 113 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:45,112 You passed on it, remember? He passed on your next job, Vince. 114 00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,573 The guy doesn't want to make money. He's a communist. 115 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,408 Are you a communist or a socialist? 116 00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:51,660 Or didn't you learn the difference at Pepperoni U? 117 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,245 And what are you, a Rhodes scholar? 118 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:56,749 I'm a lowly Harvard grad with a J.D. /M.B.A. From Michigan. That's it. 119 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:59,001 - Michigan, huh? Good football team. - Yeah. 120 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,419 What'd they do at Harvard? 121 00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:01,754 - They row. - No, they crew. 122 00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:02,880 - Crew. - They crew. 123 00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,674 Vince, we gotta get you a real manager. 124 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,928 Why pay 10% when I got E over here for $4,000 a month? 125 00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:11,222 Cash. Where are those scripts we talked about? 126 00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:13,390 Emily, scripts! I pay my dog-walker $4,000 a month. 127 00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,810 - Wanna play the Riv tomorrow? - Yeah, let's hack it up. 128 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:16,936 You caddie? 129 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,979 I'll caddie for you the day you outdrive me. 130 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,690 - Really? Then you're caddying. - Everybody wins. 131 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:26,445 Just call me if the pages printed out too light or anything. 132 00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:27,822 Okay. I will. 133 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,866 My brother needs an agent. 134 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:33,702 I got Billy in the mailroom. He needs his first client. 135 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,121 We'll hook him up. I'm kidding. 136 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:38,082 We're golden. We're in great shape. What're you talking about? 137 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,042 We're in great shape. We're gonna open huge. 138 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,837 Hang back. I want to bounce some scripts off your boy. 139 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,548 - Keep me posted. - You got it. Keep your cell phone on. 140 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,341 Put those down. Come here. 141 00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:55,808 Where's your bedside manner, dummy? Why did you bring up a bad review? 142 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,018 - You said it didn't matter. - It does matter. 143 00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,812 Everyone in this town reads that thing. 144 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:03,983 I got more calls about this stupid-ass thing than I did when my mother passed away. 145 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:08,070 We got 200 reviews coming out on Friday. If they're like this, we're in deep shit. 146 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:11,657 That's why you book your next job before the movie comes out. 147 00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:12,950 Altoid? 148 00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:21,959 Take him out, keep him happy, all right? 149 00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:24,170 He's got meetings coming up, scripts to read. 150 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,505 He must keep focused. Have a good time with him. 151 00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:29,592 - Keep his mind off that fucking review. - Yeah. You're right. 152 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,011 We in this together? Are we in it together? 153 00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,346 - Yeah. You're right. - Ah! I'm kidding. 154 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,308 - Don't fucking mention that review again! - I'm not. 155 00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:38,851 You want to hug it out? 156 00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:41,395 - No, not really. - Let's hug it out, bitch. 157 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:42,479 Let's hug it out. 158 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,484 You remember The Orange County Register said 159 00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:49,361 I was a functioning retard. 160 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:52,698 - Now, that was a bad review. - I thought that was a compliment. 161 00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:55,242 You should come and check out this class with me. 162 00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:58,370 You gotta audition to get in. But since you're legacy... 163 00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:00,206 You think I need an acting class? 164 00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:03,375 You don't need an acting class, Vince. Let's go get you a car. 165 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,085 What did Ari say? 166 00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:08,172 Uh, good stuff. I got a box of scripts to read. 167 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,425 - So it's all good? - Yeah, it's all good. 168 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:14,720 - Let's go get you a Benz. - Fuck the fucking Mercedes, Vince. 169 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:18,515 What are you, a soccer mom? You want a car? I know what to get you. 170 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,442 Vincent Chase! 171 00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:31,654 My daughter's a huge fan. 172 00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:34,698 - What are we looking at today? - The Phantom. 173 00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:36,992 Excellent choice. 174 00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:41,247 This is the ultimate luxury motorcar, gentlemen. 175 00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,666 Justin Timberlake, Jay-Z. 176 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,293 Queen Latifah purchased one for her manager. 177 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:49,880 When you drive a Rolls-Royce, you are making a statement. 178 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:52,341 And how expensive is this statement? 179 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:55,135 - $320,000. - Not bad. 180 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:59,431 But if you sign a picture for my daughter, I'll give it to you for $319,000. 181 00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:03,185 Ah, how much if he bangs his daughter? 182 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,272 You don't buy this car, Vince. You lease it. 183 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:09,275 That's how all the broke jerk-offs in this town drive 911 s. 184 00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,902 We have excellent terms on our lease. 185 00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:13,028 What do you think, E? 186 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,447 I think it costs more than the houses we grew up in. 187 00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:18,450 A fucking Subaru costs more than the houses we grew up in. 188 00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:19,743 I don't know. 189 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:22,830 - Think I should buy this car? - Come on, are you serious? 190 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:27,001 - You're gonna spend $320,000 on a car? - So you don't think I should do it. 191 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,004 I didn't say you shouldn't do it. 192 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,924 - If you wanna do it, do it. - So I'm gonna do it. 193 00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:35,551 Do it, Vince. Do it, baby. 194 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:36,885 Do it, Vince. 195 00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,180 Fuck it, do it. 196 00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:44,351 What did you say your daughter's name was again, Randy? 197 00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,992 Yo, this car makes driving fun. 198 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,577 I might even get my license. 199 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,662 We should've had one of these in high school. 200 00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:05,831 Why? You think that would've gotten you laid? 201 00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,791 More than my yellow Fiero did. 202 00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:11,295 Shit. I got crazy pussy in high school. And I was driving a moped. 203 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,797 Roll down the windows. We're stinking this beast up. 204 00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:16,508 No, it's cool. I hate the smell of a new car. 205 00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:24,016 Yo, check this out. 206 00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,143 Nice car! 207 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,686 - Thanks. - What do you do? 208 00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:31,231 Me? I'm a lottery winner, sweetheart. Powerball. 209 00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,567 You girls wanna party? 210 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,736 You look familiar. How do I know you? 211 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,863 You watch Cinemax at 5:00 a. M? 212 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,491 - Call two friends. Follow us. 213 00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:42,368 - All right. - Not too close. 214 00:11:58,468 --> 00:11:59,676 Hello? 215 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,220 Marv, how you doing? 216 00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:04,181 I can't hear you. I got water in my ears. Talk to E. 217 00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:05,974 It's Marvin. 218 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,226 Hey, Marvin. 219 00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:10,062 Uh, yeah. I guess so. 220 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,482 Okay. See you then. Bye. 221 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,403 He wants us to come up to his office. 222 00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:20,406 No, I'm not gonna listen to him tell me how to spend my money. 223 00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,991 He's your business manager. That's what you pay him for. 224 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:26,161 So you go listen to him. That's what I'm paying you for. 225 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,664 So, what? Is he, like, your boss? 226 00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:32,709 - Yeah. Something like that. - E's got a boss! 227 00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,754 And who's your boss, Turtle? 228 00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:38,215 What'd you say? I can't hear you, dick. 229 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,844 Thank God I'm self-employed. 230 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:46,181 He must have been out of his mind buying a $300,000 Rolls-Royce! 231 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,017 - He didn't buy it, Marvin. He leased it. - That's even worse. 232 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,728 Because if he bought it, in a pinch, we could sell it. 233 00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,939 You're supposed to be the one with some smarts. 234 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:56,608 - What's the matter with you? - What am I supposed to do? 235 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:59,945 He wanted the car, he got it. I can't tell him how to spend his money. 236 00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:04,700 But you got enough balls to tell him to pass on a $4 million fucking movie offer. 237 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,952 The script sucked, Marvin. 238 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:08,871 He wants artistic integrity? 239 00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,998 Then, let him drive around in a Prius. 240 00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:12,499 This isn't my fault. All right? 241 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:15,919 Ari's got my head fucked up. He told me to get his mind off the review. 242 00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:17,754 You guys are out of control. 243 00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:21,258 $2,500 a month his brother spends on vitamin supplements. 244 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:25,387 Nobody could take that many supplements and still fucking live. 245 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,807 Turtle's got a $1,500 a month cell phone bill. 246 00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:32,644 You can get an unlimited plan for $200. Get him an unlimited plan! 247 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,146 I'll get him free weekends. 248 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:37,774 Don't be a wise guy. Come on, get the fuck out of here. I'm busy. 249 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,443 And, Eric, 250 00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:42,821 don't forget to get your parking validated. 251 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,787 Hey, asshole! Not so close to the Rolls. 252 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:52,456 All right. Relax, guy. 253 00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:57,669 I say we move to the 'Bu. The what? 254 00:13:57,754 --> 00:14:01,548 - Malibu, baby. We'll learn to surf. - I don't care where we move. Find a place 255 00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:03,842 where this clown doesn't have to use my bathroom. 256 00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:04,885 What's the problem? 257 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:07,596 The problem is you're filthy, and you use all my products. 258 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,764 What products? 259 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,892 I found my Kiehl's open next to one of your beat-off mags. 260 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,685 - So? 261 00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:15,479 So, A: Stop using my bathroom. 262 00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:19,107 And B: Why do gotta use $47 lotion to whack off with? 263 00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:21,235 I got sensitive skin. 264 00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:23,820 - What's up, fellows? - We're looking at houses. 265 00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:25,948 Houses? What's wrong with the one we've got? 266 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,700 Car's too nice for our place. We got to step it up a level. 267 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,285 Check out this one. 268 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,665 - It's $10 million. - Yeah. But it's nice. 269 00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:39,044 This is L.A. This year, it's worth $10 million, next year, $20 million. 270 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,921 But it's this year, and it's $10 million. 271 00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:44,132 Hack's got a mortgage broker, E. Says money's real cheap now. 272 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:46,843 He's talking out of his ass. Do you know what that means? 273 00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:49,763 Not really. But if Hack said it, it must be good. 274 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:52,307 Guess who? 275 00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:53,976 Um... 276 00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:56,728 Edward James Olmos. 277 00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:59,731 Oh, right! You didn't even say his name right. 278 00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,942 - How are you? - How you doing? 279 00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:05,612 - Good. Nice to see you. Hey, boys. - What's going on? 280 00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:07,656 - Hi, Jessica. - Nice to see you. 281 00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,951 I read the thing in the Variety. 282 00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:12,911 I'm sorry. 283 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,539 No. The guy was such an asshole. 284 00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:16,957 - You were great. - Really? 285 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,668 Yeah. You were fantastic. Wasn't he great? 286 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,504 - You were great. - Ah, thank you. 287 00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:24,923 So what are you doing tonight? 288 00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:27,092 Tonight? I don't know. What do you have in mind? 289 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:30,137 I'm having a party for my friend, Justine. She's going on tour. 290 00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:32,764 Oh, yeah, we saw her today. Justine Chapin, right? 291 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:35,601 - Yeah. - She's cute. What's her deal? 292 00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:38,312 Not a chance. She's saving herself. 293 00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:40,272 Oh, come on. Is that really true? 294 00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:44,901 Yeah. For this album, at least. So, are you guys coming? 295 00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,153 - Yeah. - Absolutely. 296 00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:47,321 We'll be there. 297 00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:49,406 I'll see you later. Glad I ran into you. 298 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:53,201 - Nice to see you. See you tonight. - Bye. 299 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,038 Jessica Alba. 300 00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:57,706 That's gonna be off the hook. 301 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,708 What about your class, Drama? 302 00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:04,463 Fuck that class. They ain't paying me to be there, bro. 303 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,717 You gotta pop the pop star's cherry. It'd be great press. 304 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:12,512 - No. Virgins are too much responsibility. - I'll do it. I could use the press. 305 00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:15,432 - She's not a virgin. - She is. I can tell by the way she sings. 306 00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:17,476 That's right. Virgins do know virgins. 307 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,312 Look who's talking, Mr. Beg-for-pussy-on-prom-night. 308 00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:21,980 I was begging my girlfriend, Turtle. 309 00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:24,316 Not a $40 hooker who declined your mother's credit card. 310 00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,110 Claudia, remember her? 311 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,412 So, who was your first, Drama? 312 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:40,332 Tracy Richter. It was a mess. 313 00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:43,794 I always hoped I'd get to re-fuck her. You know, do it right. 314 00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:46,797 - How about you, Vince? Who was your first? - I don't know. 315 00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:48,131 You don't know? 316 00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:51,760 - Fuck that. Everybody remembers their first. - Yeah? Well, I don't. 317 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:56,056 I remember your first. It was Cindy Davis, behind the arcade at Nathan's. 318 00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:59,393 - Yeah, you may be right. - "Yeah, you may be right." Bullshit. 319 00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:02,020 I don't believe for a second you don't remember your first. 320 00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:04,064 Like I don't believe Justine Chapin's a virgin. 321 00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:06,983 What kind of virgin has a snake tat pointing down to her box? 322 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,111 You're both hiding something. 323 00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:10,445 That's $253. 324 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:14,241 - $253. Nice bottle of wine. - It's for Jessica Alba, E. 325 00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,243 You can't give her Boone's Farm. 326 00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:18,078 You want some of this? 327 00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,624 Save that signature, baby. 328 00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:48,066 Hey, guys! 329 00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:49,985 - Jessica! - How are you? 330 00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,279 Hello, how are you? 331 00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:55,574 Bar's here, bar's over there, girls are everywhere, 332 00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:59,327 bathroom's back there, and I need to steal your friend for a second. 333 00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,747 All right. See you later. 334 00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,291 We're going to the bar, let's go to the bar. 335 00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:07,169 Yeah. Save me a drink. I'm heading to Silicon Valley. 336 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,296 - What are you drinking? - Uh, whiskey. 337 00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:13,800 You girls seen the new Rolls? 338 00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:17,971 - It's really nice to meet you. - It's very nice to meet you. 339 00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:20,891 I'm gonna leave you two. 340 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:38,200 There she is. Snowcone, how are you? 341 00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:41,536 - My dark angel! Hello, honey. - Hey, Ari. 342 00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:43,288 - Unbelievable party. - Thanks. 343 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,290 Jason, right? How you doing? Nice to see you. 344 00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,918 I think that you could be doing a lot more. 345 00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:52,130 - No, I do. I think... - You're really talking shop right now. 346 00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:54,633 - I am talking shop. - At my house. 347 00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:56,843 - Indeed... - At my party. 348 00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:58,970 - Yes, yes. - My agent isn't here. 349 00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:02,432 I know. I slashed her tires. She's on her hands and knees on Mulholland. 350 00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:05,644 She won't make it, because you want a statue. You deserve a statue. 351 00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:06,770 Can you believe this guy? 352 00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:08,980 You deserve it. Because your natural energy, 353 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,732 the way you are hasn't been seen yet. 354 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:13,819 Someone needs to step up and utilize you for the way you are. 355 00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:17,989 You're a self-empowered, interesting woman and you need to take it. Not an MTV award. 356 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:22,452 But a real one. And I want to be there. "May I have the envelope?" Let me be there. 357 00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:25,455 - Can I think about it? - Thinking is bad for your complexion. 358 00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:28,250 You shine, I'll think and make it happen, okay? 359 00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,669 Give me three months to get you out of a leotard. 360 00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:32,921 Warm up those vocal cords, Drama. 361 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,924 - They got karaoke here tonight. - Yeah, I know. 362 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:39,302 Should I go with Sinatra or something a little more poppy? 363 00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:42,514 Yo, Drama. What are you doing here? 364 00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:44,724 Me? Why aren't you in class? 365 00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:46,685 'Cause I knew you'd fuck me, you prick! 366 00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:49,479 Gender reversal exercise. What are we, fags? 367 00:19:49,564 --> 00:19:52,023 Yeah, I know. Come here. Meet my new girl. 368 00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:53,733 Be right back, bro. 369 00:19:57,321 --> 00:20:00,156 - What's up, Ari? - You having a good time, man? 370 00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:02,868 Yeah? It's not all fun and fucking games. Thanks, bro. 371 00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,369 What are you talking about? 372 00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:08,540 You told Marvin that I said that it was okay that Vince buys a fucking Rolls. 373 00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:10,041 - Did not. - You did, you said it. 374 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,918 You fucking said it. You kidding me? 375 00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:14,754 Don't ever fucking talk about me behind my back again. 376 00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:18,383 Otherwise, I'll have to fucking kill you. I got ears everywhere. 377 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:33,857 No, I respect that. If that's what you want. 378 00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:37,652 - It's not totally true. - Which part? 379 00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,864 I'm not really saving myself for marriage. 380 00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:43,783 So what are you saving yourself for? 381 00:20:46,037 --> 00:20:48,079 I'm saving myself for someone special. 382 00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:49,247 Huh. 383 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:54,336 - Have you ever been anyone's first? - Oh, no. And I don't plan to be. 384 00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:59,257 I don't want to be anyone's first, and I don't want to be anyone's last. 385 00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:03,887 That's too bad. 386 00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:14,481 Doors fly open by itself. Heated back seats, front seats. Unbelievable. 387 00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:34,125 All right. It was your cousin. 388 00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:36,920 What was my cousin? 389 00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:38,546 My first time. 390 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:41,132 You fucked my cousin, Debbie? 391 00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:42,509 Not Debbie. Sheryl. 392 00:21:42,593 --> 00:21:45,178 I fucked Debbie, too, but not till years later. 393 00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:48,515 Ooh, wow, you're an asshole. You got no shame. 394 00:21:48,599 --> 00:21:50,350 What? You got hot cousins. 395 00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:52,978 They had a good time. 396 00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:56,564 Come on. Look at you. You're miserable. 397 00:21:57,984 --> 00:21:59,317 You know what? 398 00:21:59,402 --> 00:22:02,445 Maybe Ari's right. Maybe you should get a real manager. 399 00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,280 It was one review, E. 400 00:22:04,365 --> 00:22:05,740 It's not just the review. 401 00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:08,618 A million people out there have more experience than I do. 402 00:22:08,703 --> 00:22:13,623 Fuck experience. Come on, I trust you. You got instincts. 403 00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:18,670 But you know, you're the reason why I moved out here in the first place. 404 00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:22,632 - What are you talking about? - Third grade. I was trying out for basketball. 405 00:22:22,717 --> 00:22:25,343 You said, "Douche bag, you're too pretty for basketball. 406 00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:27,595 "You know, go try the school play." 407 00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:30,640 - Did I say that really? - Yeah. 408 00:22:31,726 --> 00:22:34,519 - I was just an asshole kid, I guess. - And a lot taller, too. 409 00:22:37,273 --> 00:22:38,398 Look. 410 00:22:40,234 --> 00:22:42,736 Take a look. Look where we are. 411 00:22:44,238 --> 00:22:46,364 Did you ever think we'd have this? 412 00:22:47,408 --> 00:22:49,451 Man, enjoy it. Have fun. 413 00:22:49,744 --> 00:22:50,910 Worst comes to worst, 414 00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:53,705 we'll go tear it up in Queens, like we always have. 415 00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:56,374 Fucking Turtle's out front, christening the Rolls. 416 00:22:56,459 --> 00:22:59,294 Great. A day old, it's already gotta be detailed. 417 00:23:00,171 --> 00:23:03,423 You know what? We look like assholes in that thing anyway. 418 00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:05,884 Get rid of it. Return it tomorrow, E. 419 00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:07,802 You took a three-year lease. 420 00:23:08,012 --> 00:23:09,804 You'll figure it out. 421 00:23:11,182 --> 00:23:12,474 What a view! 422 00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:17,437 We're at a party with some of the hottest girls in the world, 423 00:23:17,605 --> 00:23:20,315 and we're staring at a bunch of fucking lights. 424 00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:24,360 - Let's go find you a girl, E. - Yeah. 425 00:23:24,779 --> 00:23:26,029 What about me? 426 00:23:33,829 --> 00:23:35,997 I don't wanna go back to Queens, Vince. 427 00:23:36,082 --> 00:23:37,415 Who the fuck's going back to Queens? 428 00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:39,834 Nobody's going back to Queens. 429 00:23:53,974 --> 00:23:54,974 It's Ari. 430 00:23:57,269 --> 00:23:58,269 Yeah? 431 00:24:02,316 --> 00:24:04,025 All right. I'll tell him. 432 00:24:05,861 --> 00:24:08,613 New York Times says you're the next Johnny Depp. 433 00:24:10,366 --> 00:24:11,366 Cool. 434 00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:13,618 You guys wanna go look at houses today? 435 00:24:13,702 --> 00:24:15,578 Yeah, baby. 436 00:24:15,663 --> 00:24:18,748 Let's get one with an outdoor pool, though. I'm getting all pasty. 437 00:24:18,833 --> 00:24:21,668 - Indoor pool's overrated. - Hurry up with that bone, man. 438 00:24:21,752 --> 00:24:22,919 It's coming.