1
00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:10,426
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:13,698
Door number one or door number two?

3
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:17,076
- What do you got?
- Let's take a moment to reminisce.

4
00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:18,995
- Ari, come on.
- What's in the envelope?

5
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,247
Behind door number one

6
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,249
is an Aquaman check

7
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,293
with two million little fishies on it.

8
00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:27,628
Hopefully, this will take care
of your delinquent

9
00:01:27,713 --> 00:01:29,756
heating and electric bills.

10
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,925
- We'll take door number one.
- Wait, wait, wait. Let's take a moment

11
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,470
to celebrate how far we've come, all right?

12
00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:38,890
First check I ever got for you, $668, for what?

13
00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,850
- A guest star on JAG.
- Guest star on JAG,

14
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- and I did not take commission.
- No, you did not.

15
00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:47,315
- This time I will.
- What's behind door number two, Ari?

16
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:49,192
- Door number two is a list.
- VINCE: What list?

17
00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,652
James Cameron's list for Aquagirl,

18
00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:53,780
five of the hottest actresses on the planet,

19
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one of which you will be stuck

20
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in a water tank with for nine months.

21
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Even if you look like
our skim milk-colored friend E here,

22
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:05,374
you still have a good shot
of swimming in-between her legs.

23
00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:07,168
Wait, E. We'll save it for the beach,

24
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:08,669
have something to talk to the guys about.

25
00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:11,798
You don't talk about politics
at the beach? Pretty cool, huh?

26
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:14,801
Lt'd be a lot cooler
if you gave us the check, Ari.

27
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- I'm gone.
- Where you running to?

28
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It's a day of beauty for me.
I'm going in front of the cameras.

29
00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:22,850
What are you doing,
agency yearbook photos?

30
00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:24,185
Actually, I made a little list of my own.

31
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,604
Fade In magazine's Top 40 Under 40.

32
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Sandwiched in between
The O. C. 's creator Josh Schwartz

33
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and Miramax's Meryl Poster,
at number nine, is yours truly.

34
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Don't worry about it, E.
When they do a top 40 under four feet,

35
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boom, top of the list.
(LAUGHS)

36
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Holy shit. Are we gonna go cash this?

37
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- Not now. We're on our way to Malibu.
- Malibu? I booked a massage.

38
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So cancel it.
I'll have Turtle give you a rubdown.

39
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What the hell's in Malibu?

40
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Marcel, cancel my 11:00 deep-tissue, please.
Thank you.

41
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Fuckin' Malibu.

42
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,436
(LIKE DAT PLAYING)

43
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Who has a party at 10:00 A.M.
On Wednesday anyway?

44
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,962
DRAMA:
I hope they have an omelet chef.

45
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,631
- This place looks empty.
- Maybe people came by boat.

46
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Boy, you guys sure do complain a lot.

47
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:42,138
- Where'd you get a key?
- Jessica Alba gave it to me.

48
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- She gave you a key to her house?
- No, she gave me the house.

49
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Well, us, at least for the next couple months.

50
00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:53,065
- What do you mean?
- I told her our house

51
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:55,985
was under construction.
She's off shooting the new Fantastic Four.

52
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,737
She said we can stay here

53
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as long as we take care of the cats.

54
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:00,948
(MEOWS)

55
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,326
How many cats are there?

56
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,912
You're telling me
we're gonna live by the beach.

57
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:08,873
This is sick. This is like Far Rockaway
minus the crack whores.

58
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I think it blows.
How am I gonna get to my auditions?

59
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The P.C.H. Is like a parking lot.

60
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You can stay at our house if it's easier.

61
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By myself?

62
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Fuck that.

63
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(SNEEZES)

64
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Fucking cats.

65
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(GROANS)
You missed, motherfucker.

66
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,644
Come on.

67
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:32,396
- Fuck.
- Too slow, hombre. Let's go.

68
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:34,815
Take it easy.

69
00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:37,652
You flinched. It's a freebie. Come on.

70
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(VINCE LAUGHS)

71
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:43,783
TURTLE:
God!

72
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,952
What do you guys think of
Cameron Diaz for Aquagirl?

73
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:47,662
- Love her.
- Fuck that.

74
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:50,081
She got a boyfriend. Upside is you bang her,

75
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:52,500
he gets pissed off. Downside is she's loyal.

76
00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:54,627
Who wants to make a movie
with someone you have no shot at?

77
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:57,046
- He's got a point.
- Jennifer Garner.

78
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- Love her.
- Boyfriend!

79
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:03,886
- ERIC: Kirsten Dunst?
- She already fucked a superhero.

80
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,805
- She's single though.
- Who else you got?

81
00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:07,807
Mandy Moore?

82
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:10,977
- You flinched, Drama.
- Bullshit. I was reacting to Mandy.

83
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You did a few weeks on A Walk to Remember.

84
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- Did you like her?
- Yeah, she was great.

85
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Come on. We're not gonna get
into this whole thing again.

86
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:21,487
- What whole thing?
- There is no "whole thing."

87
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,489
Did you go out with Mandy Moore?

88
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:25,825
Yeah, I mean, a couple times.

89
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- It was no big deal.
- I never heard about that.

90
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,831
You were still spinnin' pizzas back East.

91
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:34,333
- So what's the deal?
- Nothing. We went out

92
00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:37,003
for a little while and,
like everything does, it ended.

93
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- So she hates you.
- Nah, I don't think she hates me.

94
00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:43,009
Come on.

95
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:45,845
She probably hates ya.

96
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TURTLE:
How do they not have Froot Loops?

97
00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:49,890
You can't get anything in Malibu

98
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:51,559
because it's impossible to get deliveries.

99
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,352
You make it like we're in the Far East, Drama.

100
00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:56,939
I know Malibu. One second
it's no Froot Loops, the next

101
00:05:57,024 --> 00:06:00,359
a mudslide is slinging a 400-lb. Boulder
through your dining room.

102
00:06:00,444 --> 00:06:03,112
Okay, let's see, what else
do we need? Essentials.

103
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,823
More protein, man. We gotta bulk Vince up.

104
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,700
Seriously, Aquaman is fuckin' yoked.

105
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:09,035
Where is Vince, anyway?

106
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:11,203
I left him on aisle nine with that MILF.

107
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He's probably banging her
in the produce section.

108
00:06:13,457 --> 00:06:17,084
Look, guys, Cameron wants
a more fluid swimmer than bulky,

109
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so don't go gettin' Vince's head all fucked up.

110
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If you don't want Vince's head fucked up,

111
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make sure Mandy Moore
doesn't get this movie.

112
00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:26,927
- Seriously, that will drown Aquaman.
- Why? What he do to her?

113
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To her? It's what she did to him.

114
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:31,515
She crushed him, bro. Crushed him.

115
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Come on, I've never seen
Vince hurt over a girl.

116
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It got ugly, E.
He was doing drive-bys to her house,

117
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- late night hang-ups.
- He made a mix tape.

118
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- Bullshit.
- No, I swear! You remember that?

119
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- He led it off with Tiny Dancer.
- Elton John?

120
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Him and Mandy saw
Almost Famous like 20 times.

121
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:49,116
Now I know you're fuckin' with me.

122
00:06:49,201 --> 00:06:51,744
Mandy Moore is Aquaman's kryptonite, bro.

123
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,037
Trust me.

124
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TURTLE:
Yo, that woman has Froot Loops!

125
00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:58,667
She probably got the one box
that was able to make it out.

126
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,795
- It's Dr. Joyce Brothers.
- Oh, yeah?

127
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,090
Drama, go distract her.

128
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,966
Don't make a scene out here, Drama.

129
00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:08,010
There's only two markets in Malibu.

130
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:11,764
Are you kiddin'? With this performance,
she won't notice a thing.

131
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,266
- Dr. Brothers?
- Yes.

132
00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:16,769
- Hi, I'm a big fan.
- Oh, thank you.

133
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,354
This is kind of embarrassing,

134
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,774
but sometimes I wake up
in the morning fully-tented.

135
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:25,402
- Any advice?
- At your age, consider yourself lucky.

136
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:26,987
My age?

137
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:29,448
How fuckin' old do you think I am?

138
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:32,451
What are you guys leaving me
with that crazy mother for?

139
00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,787
- Looked like you were having fun.
- The lady was nuts,

140
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,206
- told me she wanted to take me home.
- You serious?

141
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:40,459
- It's total lawlessness out here.
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)

142
00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,044
Yeah, hello?

143
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:45,631
- Johnny. Johnny?
- Hello? I can't hear you!

144
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:48,217
Fuckin' Malibu. I get no reception out here.

145
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,969
Lighten up, Johnny, I can hear you fine.

146
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,804
- Hey, Adam.
- I know it's last minute,

147
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:55,641
but I got a Hallmark M.O.W.
Joe Mantegna, Tess Harper.

148
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:58,519
You know what Hallmark means, right?
It means Emmy.

149
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:01,313
I always did want one of those winged angels.

150
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:02,648
You're in at 2:15.

151
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:07,319
2: 15? It's 11:00 A.M. I'm in Malibu.
I can't do that.

152
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:09,738
- Can you make it like around 5:00?
- Come on, Johnny.

153
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,283
You can get this. Now drive like the wind.

154
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:16,954
- What do you got?
- Movie of the week with Joe Mantegna.

155
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:19,707
- Joe Montana's acting?
- Joe Mantegna, dickhead.

156
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:21,333
Who wants to take a ride into town with me?

157
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,836
Sorry, Johnny.
Got a scuba lesson. Take Turtle.

158
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:26,005
Come on, Vince! I want to learn to scuba.

159
00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:28,632
- You know how buoyant I am.
- Come on, Turtle.

160
00:08:29,593 --> 00:08:31,135
All right.

161
00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:33,596
But you owe me a flinch from before.

162
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,056
All right, fine. Hurry up, get it over with.

163
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,933
I only need one.

164
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,062
(EXHALES DEEPLY)

165
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,273
(GROANS IN PAIN)

166
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:46,942
I love that shit!

167
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:48,777
(PHONE RINGING)

168
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:50,905
You got Gold.

169
00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:54,074
Do you really answer the phone
that way or did you see it was me?

170
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:57,536
Don't tilt your head. You can't hold
the phone when I'm cutting your hair.

171
00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:59,580
- Lloyd, come hold the phone.
- You're impossible today.

172
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:01,373
You're impossible, my man.

173
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,459
Dana Gordon, the second love of my life,

174
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,295
- what can I do for you?
- Look, I have a little heads up,

175
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,048
but it's for your ears only.
Swear you won't tell anyone.

176
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:11,300
Did I tell anyone that your first girl-girl sex

177
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,385
was with someone from must-see TV in '95?

178
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:14,929
- Okay, Ari, please.
- Spill it.

179
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:17,181
I'll swallow a cyanide tablet
if they capture me.

180
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:20,935
Okay. Mandy Moore has moved
to the top of the list, all right?

181
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:24,021
James sat down with her and he loves
her skin tone next to the water.

182
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:26,899
- Is that official?
- We're ready to make an offer.

183
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:30,277
But here's the thing.
I know that Vince and Mandy dated.

184
00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:33,614
- Did you know that?
- I know everything about my clients.

185
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:35,824
Well, then will you tell me what you know

186
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,160
about the Walk to Remember incident?

187
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:40,621
Why am I doing this anyway?

188
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:42,456
You're part of the team, that's why.

189
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,959
Yeah, well, it's not natural
to breathe underwater.

190
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:46,585
You didn't have a problem in the pool.

191
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:48,087
A pool's a pool.

192
00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:50,297
Ocean's an ocean. No sharks in the pool.

193
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:52,299
Don't worry.

194
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:55,094
If we come across any sharks,
you got Aquaman to protect you.

195
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,971
Wow. That's comforting.

196
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:58,347
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

197
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,395
- Hey.
- Where are you?

198
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,105
Just heading to Vince's scuba lesson.

199
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,565
Ah, scuba.
Sport normally reserved for the rich,

200
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,401
but you get free lessons from a Navy Seal

201
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:11,819
because you happen to have been born

202
00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:13,529
- next door to Vince.
- What's up, Ari?

203
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,407
Do you know anything
about Vince and Mandy Moore?

204
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:19,118
- No.
- A Walk to Remember?

205
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,120
- What about it?
- Well, apparently

206
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,205
they had to shut the production
down for two days

207
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,624
because Vince was harassing her?

208
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:27,376
The studio's very concerned.

209
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,420
You know what? I'll call you back, Ari.

210
00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:32,214
Listen, they want her,
but if this causes a problem for Vince,

211
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,800
I will squash it.
James Cameron does not want

212
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:38,053
- a mopey Aquaman.
- Look, I said I'll call you back.

213
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,555
You better do it quickly, 'cause normally

214
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,307
I would not care if you drown,

215
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:43,225
but I need an answer right away.

216
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:45,519
What happened?

217
00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:48,605
They want to offer the movie to Mandy Moore.

218
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,399
Interesting.

219
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,237
(PUNK ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

220
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:06,081
- (CAR HORN HONKS)
- (SIGHS)

221
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:08,083
Fucking Malibu!

222
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:30,189
Look, all I'm asking is

223
00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:31,523
what happened with you and Mandy.

224
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:33,650
I told you, we went out for a little while.

225
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:36,111
- The guys say she crushed you.
- I wouldn't say "crushed."

226
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,280
Oh, no? Well, Turtle says
you made her a mix tape.

227
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,908
(CHUCKLES)
So full of shit.

228
00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:44,328
Yeah, all right. I made her a mix tape.

229
00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:46,872
- I didn't send it though.
- The studio knows you went out.

230
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,832
- They're concerned.
- What are they concerned about?

231
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,168
Some kind of an incident
on A Walk to Remember.

232
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:52,753
Like what?

233
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,130
Ari said they shut down
production for two days

234
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,132
'cause you were harassing her.

235
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,551
- And you believe that?
- No, of course not.

236
00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:02,513
I mean, did they shut down production?

237
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,848
Did they shut down production?

238
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:07,267
Oh, yeah. They did shut down production.

239
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:09,228
The crew ate bad clams.

240
00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:12,231
Look, the bottom line is, if you want,
we can get her off the movie.

241
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:14,024
E, this has been like five years already.

242
00:12:14,109 --> 00:12:15,442
This is a stupid conversation.

243
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:16,860
I haven't even thought about her

244
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,362
till her name was mentioned this morning.

245
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,364
Will you pop the trunk?

246
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:22,032
Hey, gents, who's ready

247
00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:23,617
for the first open ocean dive?

248
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,577
- Hey, what's up, Dale?
- I'll tell you what's up.

249
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:28,163
Mr. Cameron wants you
ocean ready in two weeks,

250
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,541
and that means the kiddy pool is history.

251
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:34,044
Now, E, if you can't handle this, tell me now.

252
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,171
I don't think I can handle it.

253
00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:38,882
When did you become such a pussy?

254
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:41,343
4-H camp, '85. You don't remember that?

255
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,345
I almost drowned in the undertow.

256
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,139
Oh, yeah? The lake had an undertow?

257
00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:47,349
Now, E, you ought not
to sweat this small stuff.

258
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,643
I have revived people on seven continents,

259
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:52,271
and never lost... Actually, I did lose one,

260
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:54,940
but that was in Antarctica,
and I blame it on the cold.

261
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,567
Now get your gear and let's go.

262
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:00,195
(A LITTLE LESS CONVERSATION
PLAYING)

263
00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:01,947
DRAMA:
I'm gonna be late. I'm gonna miss this.

264
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:04,366
TURTLE: Would you calm down?
I'm driving like a champ.

265
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,326
DRAMA:
Let me out.

266
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:07,911
How are you gonna audition like that?

267
00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:09,538
You're sweating like an animal!

268
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,169
Damn, I knew it!

269
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,881
Johnny, we were just about to close up shop.

270
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,091
- I didn't think you were gonna make it.
- Sorry, Sheila.

271
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:22,676
I came in all the way from Malibu.

272
00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:26,430
All the way from Malibu?
You must be exhausted.

273
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:28,515
- Yeah.
- Come on in.

274
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:32,394
Johnny Chase.

275
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:40,194
- (TRUCK BEEPING)
- (TRAFFIC NOISES)

276
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:44,740
(SIDEKICK BEEPING)

277
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,457
Let's try and not have
another incident like last year,

278
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,083
huh, John?

279
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:56,793
Thanks.

280
00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:00,631
All I'm saying is, this is the most
important movie of your career.

281
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:03,383
I'm not sure you wanna take a chance
of fucking it up over some girl.

282
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:06,345
Hey, Eric, this could be the most
important movie of her career,

283
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:09,139
and you wanna fuck that up
because you think I can't handle it?

284
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:11,850
Look, I'm not worried about her.
I'm worried about you.

285
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,852
Don't worry about me. I'm fine.

286
00:14:13,937 --> 00:14:17,064
The fact that we're even
talking about this is nuts!

287
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:20,359
Hey! You two sweethearts
wanna shut the fuck up

288
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:21,985
and focus on the ocean?

289
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,862
I just got off the horn with the coast guard.

290
00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:26,782
They said there's a high shark alert
between now and noon.

291
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,659
Mr. Cameron wants to do this anyway,

292
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:32,287
so that means you're gonna have to
keep you head up and swiveling.

293
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,789
Are you fucking with us?

294
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,291
Yeah, I'm fucking with you.

295
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,834
But I wasn't fucking with you

296
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:39,836
about that guy who croaked in Antarctica,

297
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,380
so stay alert.

298
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,423
Now, get over here and get your shit on.

299
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,093
And besides, if James Cameron

300
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:48,095
wants her in the movie, she's in the movie.

301
00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:50,806
(BREAK STUFF PLAYING)

302
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,391
Fucking incident!

303
00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:53,892
That's what this prick says to me!

304
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:56,061
Davies set me up.

305
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,563
What's this guy doing up my ass?

306
00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:59,898
Don't you know the expression
"Never drive angry"?

307
00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:01,775
And this beady-eyed little jerk-off

308
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:05,070
just sitting on his Sidekick again,
just goading me!

309
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,698
- He probably wasn't even talking to anyone.
- (CAR HORN HONKING)

310
00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:09,324
Get off my ass! Go around me!

311
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,368
Would you pull over and let me drive?

312
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:13,579
Do you really find it necessary

313
00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:16,039
to drive up my ass?

314
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:18,083
Fuck you, dude.

315
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:20,168
"Dude"? Do you believe this guy?

316
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,753
Fucking locals!

317
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,547
(SHOUTING)
Fuck you, townie!

318
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:25,132
- (TIRES SCREECH)
- (CAR HORNS BLARING)

319
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,134
Asshole!

320
00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:29,845
Take it easy, Drama. Do we really need
a midday fight right now?

321
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,471
Why don't you get out of the car

322
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:33,765
- and say it to my face, fucker!
- Drama, come on!

323
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:37,019
Why are we picking a fight with
Point Break? Let's just get out of here.

324
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:39,354
Why don't you do yourself a favor,
tough guy?

325
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,190
Get back in your car
before someone gets hurt.

326
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,027
Weren't you on TV or something before?

327
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:46,862
Yeah, I was.

328
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,323
Yeah, like 20 fucking years ago!

329
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,784
- That's it.
- Go do it, man.

330
00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:57,456
(BREAK STUFF CONTINUES PLAYING)

331
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:02,753
What the fuck you doing?

332
00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:05,380
What are you doing to my car?

333
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,216
What the fuck are you doing to my car?

334
00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:09,468
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

335
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,261
Drama, your phone's ringing.

336
00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:13,555
- Pick it up!
- That's my car, dude!

337
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,766
TURTLE:
Hey, Adam.

338
00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:18,644
No, he can't come to the phone.

339
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:21,521
It's your agent, you booked the gig!

340
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,023
I booked it?

341
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:25,150
You booked it, motherfucker!
We'll call you back.

342
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:26,860
- (SIREN WAILS)
- Yes!

343
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:28,153
- I booked it!
- Drop the club!

344
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,364
- Thank God!
- Step away from the car, now!

345
00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:35,327
Hey,

346
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,204
you guys like Joe Mantegna?

347
00:16:37,372 --> 00:16:38,747
(POLICE RADIO CHATTER)

348
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,838
- What happened?
- What happened is,

349
00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:49,174
I just got an M.O.W. For NBC!

350
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,343
We're both working men now, kid.

351
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:53,804
I think what he means
is why did you get arrested, Drama?

352
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,389
The lunatic went Jack Nicholson

353
00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,766
on some poor guy's car.

354
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,476
I hope you didn't use my nine-iron.

355
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,353
No, I used E's Calloway.

356
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,021
SHAUNA:
He's got a court date next week.

357
00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:05,190
If you're lucky, Vince,
they'll put him away for life.

358
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:08,068
This is gonna be all over the papers.
There's no way to stop it.

359
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:10,445
Good. People will think my brother's tough,

360
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,823
- know not to fuck with me.
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)

361
00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:15,367
- Hey.
- Hey, did Drama get his salad tossed?

362
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,828
Stop fantasizing, Ari.
What's going on? Is Mandy Moore in?

363
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:20,122
The offer went out, but get this...

364
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,207
She wants to have dinner with me?

365
00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:23,709
Yeah, she wants to make sure

366
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,086
it's not gonna be awkward
before she says yes.

367
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,422
Of course it's gonna be awkward, Vince.

368
00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:30,424
This girl ruined your youth!

369
00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:32,676
You're the star. Tell them you don't want her.

370
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,303
I'm gonna tell Davies I want a say
who's playing my love interest.

371
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,930
Why don't you get Lorenzo Lamas, Drama?

372
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:38,807
So you're telling me she'll pass

373
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,600
on a James Cameron movie if it's awkward?

374
00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:42,728
Jesus Christ, Vince,
what did you do to this girl?

375
00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,604
Nothing! Shauna, you remember.

376
00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:46,565
I remember you living on the break-up diet

377
00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:48,817
of canned tuna and saltines.
You dropped 15 lbs.

378
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,652
You looked like fucking
Adrian Brody in The Pianist.

379
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,612
I'm starting to get annoyed by all of you.

380
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:55,323
I have no feelings about this at all.

381
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,993
And besides,
she's got a very serious boyfriend,

382
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,662
so there's nothing wrong
if she wants to sit down.

383
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,290
So we're gonna sit down.
Set up the meeting, E.

384
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:06,460
Vince?

385
00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:08,795
- She don't have a boyfriend.
- What are you talking about?

386
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,422
She's dating that big real estate guy.

387
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:13,008
They broke up.
They had a big fight over a cockroach.

388
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,634
She threw a mojito in his face.

389
00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:16,928
- You were there?
- No, I read about it in US Weekly.

390
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:19,681
- Is this true?
- I heard something about it,

391
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,600
but you know what?
She's got a shitty publicist,

392
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:23,351
or that would have never made the papers.

393
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:24,936
You know what? Whatever.

394
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:27,689
Either way, set up the dinner. I'll show up.

395
00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:32,611
Is the script in the frame?
It's cool, right here?

396
00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:35,238
I want to make sure
it looks like I'm really reading it.

397
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,115
Jess! Am I photo-friendly? How is it going?

398
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,950
- Ari, we need to talk.
- Right.

399
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:41,787
What are you gonna do? Are you gonna
bump Patrick Whitesell off the list?

400
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,121
'Cause I'm officially okay with that.

401
00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:46,625
Ari, what year did you graduate?

402
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:48,794
1990.

403
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:51,379
Not law school. Undergrad.

404
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:55,217
What are you inferring?

405
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:58,220
You're ineligible. Your birthday's Thursday.

406
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,472
Right, Thursday I'm gonna be 36.

407
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,516
Can you believe it? Time flies, huh?

408
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,976
No, you're turning 40, Ari.

409
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,187
I just got off the phone
with your old assistant

410
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:10,273
Josh Weinstein. 40.

411
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,275
Weinstein.

412
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:15,904
Come on, guys, let's go.
Let's wrap it up. We're not staying.

413
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:19,741
Someone's gonna pay
for the mystic tan, Jess?

414
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,494
You're staying.
I'm gonna take some family photos.

415
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:23,995
You guys work for me now.

416
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:26,998
Yeah, Rufus, thanks for doing this so quick.

417
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:28,834
It was nothing. I just repo'd all this shit

418
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,544
out of Don Johnson's house anyway.

419
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:32,170
The motherfucker tried to pay me

420
00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:34,172
- with signed Nash Bridges DVDs.
- (ALL CHUCKLE)

421
00:19:34,257 --> 00:19:36,424
Season three, episode seven,

422
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,927
me and Cheech, enjoy.

423
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,888
All right, here we go.

424
00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:44,307
COMMENTATOR:
He's really outclassed here tonight.

425
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,810
(SIGHS)
Now this place is a home.

426
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:48,812
Six months tops, the salt water

427
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,814
will chew a hole right through that screen.

428
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:53,817
This kid's a fucking misery, huh?

429
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,236
Hey, guys, how do I look?

430
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,196
How do you look? You look like you.

431
00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:00,323
TURTLE:
He's saying you look good, Vince.

432
00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:02,117
I don't love the shirt, personally.

433
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,702
Rufus, you don't like the shirt?

434
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:06,538
Vince, that shirt dulls
the sparkle in your eyes.

435
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:09,541
If I was you, I'd go with blue Façonnable.

436
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:12,878
It says, "Hello, I'm here,
and I'm doing fine without you."

437
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,588
ERIC:
Vince, you're kidding me, right?

438
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:17,048
I know you 25 years,
you never asked me how you looked.

439
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,550
You know you look fucking good.

440
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,511
- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm just kidding.

441
00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:23,513
Could go for a smoke, though.

442
00:20:23,598 --> 00:20:25,181
I got a pound of the bubble kush stashed

443
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:27,642
- in the wheel well of my DeVille.
- Roll one up.

444
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,978
- Cool.
- I'm gonna change the shirt.

445
00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:34,482
Mandy Moore, kryptonite.

446
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,325
(GIT BUSY PLAYING)

447
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:48,288
Any big news stories today, E?

448
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:49,873
What do you mean?

449
00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:52,125
Mandy's really smart.
She was always testing me

450
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:53,877
on what was going on in the world.

451
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,921
I heard Pamela Anderson
dropped another tit size.

452
00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:57,547
- Thanks, Turtle.
- Just tell her

453
00:20:57,632 --> 00:20:59,966
you're devastated by
what's going on in Africa.

454
00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:01,718
It says you're up on current events

455
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:04,596
- and you're sensitive.
- Yeah.

456
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,057
All right, I'm going in.

457
00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:09,976
All right. Go get her, Vince. Head up, baby.

458
00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:11,770
Yo, remember,

459
00:21:11,854 --> 00:21:14,147
the movie's called Aquaman, not Aquagirl.

460
00:21:15,483 --> 00:21:16,858
Go get her.

461
00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:22,530
(PATRONS CHATTING)

462
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:29,955
- Vince, how are you?
- Hey, Charlie, how are you doing?

463
00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:31,748
Miss Moore's waiting at your table.

464
00:21:34,919 --> 00:21:36,920
All right. See you.

465
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,715
- Hey!
- Hey.

466
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,217
- How are you?
- Hello.

467
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:43,718
- Hi.
- Good to see you.

468
00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,762
Good to see you too.

469
00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:46,930
(CLEARS THROAT)

470
00:21:56,899 --> 00:22:00,151
Well, I guess we've proven
that this won't be awkward. (CHUCKLES)

471
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:04,072
(DREAMS PLAYING)

472
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:10,537
Damn, I should have
told him about that busload of nuns

473
00:22:10,621 --> 00:22:12,372
that fell off that cliff last month.

474
00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:14,124
TURTLE:
What he should have been talking about

475
00:22:14,208 --> 00:22:16,960
was all the girls he's banged
in the last five years.

476
00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:18,837
That would have drove her crazy.

477
00:22:18,921 --> 00:22:20,964
I can't believe I'm waiting outside a restaurant

478
00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:23,008
while he's on a date.

479
00:22:23,092 --> 00:22:25,468
How do you like being a manager now, E?

480
00:22:26,721 --> 00:22:28,513
- (LAUGHS)
- I was.

481
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:31,182
- That's not how I remember it.
- You have your memories,

482
00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:32,809
and I have mine.

483
00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:34,477
Let's try and cherish them both.

484
00:22:34,562 --> 00:22:36,146
Okay.

485
00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:38,565
Can you believe it's been five years?

486
00:22:38,649 --> 00:22:40,692
I know, time is flying, huh?

487
00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:43,403
And you don't think
it's strange we've never spoken?

488
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,574
We had an on-set romance.

489
00:22:47,658 --> 00:22:49,284
These things don't last.

490
00:22:49,952 --> 00:22:51,578
Wow!

491
00:22:51,662 --> 00:22:53,413
Someone's gotten glib.

492
00:22:53,497 --> 00:22:56,458
Well, I've glibbened with age.

493
00:22:56,542 --> 00:22:57,834
What can I say?

494
00:23:00,421 --> 00:23:03,006
- I know that's not a word.
- I wasn't gonna correct you.

495
00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:04,299
- Really?
- Okay, I was,

496
00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:06,885
but I realized that you were kidding.

497
00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:12,015
Look, I don't know what to say.

498
00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:15,477
Why don't you tell me
why you never called me back?

499
00:23:16,479 --> 00:23:20,023
I mean, I was humiliated. What do you...

500
00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:22,108
You asked me to marry you after five weeks.

501
00:23:22,193 --> 00:23:24,402
- I was 20!
- I thought I was in love with you.

502
00:23:24,487 --> 00:23:26,071
I thought I was in love with you too.

503
00:23:26,155 --> 00:23:28,073
I just thought you were half-kidding.

504
00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:29,491
No, I wasn't.

505
00:23:29,575 --> 00:23:31,493
But look, this is fate, right?

506
00:23:31,577 --> 00:23:34,412
Every time I've ever done a movie,
I've always imagined them

507
00:23:34,497 --> 00:23:36,539
telling me that you were gonna be the girl.

508
00:23:36,624 --> 00:23:38,583
And you are the girl.

509
00:23:39,335 --> 00:23:40,752
You're single, I'm single.

510
00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:42,420
We'll take it slow, see what happens.

511
00:23:42,505 --> 00:23:44,172
No, no, no, I'm not single.

512
00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:47,634
I'm getting married in a month.

513
00:23:59,897 --> 00:24:03,191
- How'd it go?
- She was right. It's awkward.

514
00:24:03,692 --> 00:24:05,819
- (ENGINE STARTS)
- Let's get her off the movie.

515
00:24:07,988 --> 00:24:09,656
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)