1 00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:09,258 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:22,665 (HONKING) 3 00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:36,179 Jessica. 4 00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:38,097 What's going on? 5 00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:43,394 How you doing? 6 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,939 - Love the Caddy. - Baby, what's up? 7 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,775 - Hi, Turtle. - You leaving? 8 00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:50,276 - Yeah. - Damn. 9 00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:54,322 Yo, Vince, you need to sign this. 10 00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:56,908 - Not now, Turtle. - It's for Mary at Nike. 11 00:01:56,992 --> 00:01:59,660 You want her to shut down our shoe supply? 12 00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:02,955 - I better sign it. After lunch. - You better sign it. (LAUGHS) 13 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:06,793 Don't sign that, Vince. They screwed it up. They got your eye color wrong. 14 00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:09,670 - It's black and white. - They look brown to me. 15 00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,589 At least they didn't fuck up your package. 16 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,966 What are you talking about? The poster's a headshot. 17 00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,301 TURTLE: I'm just saying, shit happens. 18 00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:19,472 I heard Warren Beatty sent back 300,000 one sheets for Heaven Can Wait... 19 00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:21,641 'cause his dick looked too small in sweat pants. 20 00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,227 Guy's smart. He looks out for his image. 21 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:25,812 (WOMEN LAUGHING) 22 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:28,064 Incoming. Check this out right here. 23 00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:31,400 Excuse me, did you drop these? 24 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,820 - Hey, Turtle. - Hey, Vince. Hey, Eric. 25 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:34,904 How you doing? 26 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,031 WOMAN 1: You guys going to that Motorola party tonight? 27 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:39,116 No, we can't. We got Vince's premiere tonight. 28 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,452 - We're busy. - Oh, my gosh, that's right. 29 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:45,122 - Why aren't we on the list? - 'Cause you're not hot enough. 30 00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:47,124 Good luck. Call us. 31 00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:49,335 - See you. - Bye. 32 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:52,839 - How come nobody says hi to me? - How come you don't say hello to them? 33 00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:56,801 - 'Cause that ain't how it works, asshole. - Oh, yeah, how does it work? 34 00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,094 Fucking models. 35 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,721 If they were any good, they'd be working in New York. 36 00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:03,182 Speaking of New York, are we going to that reunion? 37 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,267 Who cares? 38 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:07,019 The only people I talk to from high school are right here. 39 00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:11,482 - We gotta go. 10-year reunion, baby. - We? You weren't even in our class. 40 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,694 - I hung out with a lot of those kids. - Hang out with them? 41 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:18,030 You sold them weed in the parking lot, and you were already, like, 40. 42 00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:20,491 Why don't we meet up with those girls after the show? 43 00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:22,785 - Yes. - What are you hooking him up for? 44 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:23,870 What the fuck? 45 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:26,372 Poor guy's in recovery, he needs a night out. 46 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,916 - No, E. Fell off the wagon. - What are you talking about? 47 00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:32,545 - I know you've been calling Kristen, E. - No. Is it true? 48 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:34,672 No, it's not true. 49 00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,048 Just say it's over. 50 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:37,550 - Please. - It's over. 51 00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:39,844 'Cause we don't want to tell you she's a bitch... 52 00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:43,723 then two weeks later, you get back together and you're mad at us for saying it. 53 00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,309 - It's over. - BOTH: She's a bitch! 54 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:50,646 - She is a bitch. - You know what I'm saying? 55 00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:02,533 - How's my head? - You look fine. 56 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:06,662 - What are you so worried about? - It is my movie, too. 57 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:09,874 - I forgot. Give us your line again. - All right. 58 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,420 I'm out of here, motherfuckers. 59 00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,005 (CHEERING) 60 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:19,634 - He nails it every time. - I love it. 61 00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:22,678 - So the head's good, though, right? - It's thick, Drama. Thick. 62 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,681 That Rogaine, that shit's liquid gold, baby. Let's do this. 63 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,684 Johnny, let Vince go out first. 64 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:31,020 Yeah. Go for it, Vince. 65 00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:34,190 (SCREAMING AND CHEERING) 66 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:54,377 Pavarottis are out tonight, huh, E? Check out the tits on the girl from Extra. 67 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:58,297 Go find out where Ali's sitting. Make sure she's not within 10 rows. 68 00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:01,550 - And don't mug for the cameras, either. - Come on. 69 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:11,227 Get a picture of me and my brother. 70 00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,981 - You used to be on that show, right? - I've been on a bunch of shows. 71 00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:19,235 - Vince's brother, what's your name? - Johnny Chase, he steals the film. 72 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,030 One more, guys. 73 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,574 (PHOTOGRAPHERS CLAMORING INDISTINCTLY) 74 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:37,920 Nice to see you. 75 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,506 - How're you doing? - How are you? 76 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,425 - Loved the movie. - Thank you. 77 00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:47,430 (GREETING) 78 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:49,849 How do you think it went? 79 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:52,643 - Off the charts. You kidding? They loved it. - Nice. 80 00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:56,022 - Vince, how are you? Great job. - Thank you, I appreciate that. 81 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:58,941 - Can I take a picture with you? - Yeah, okay. 82 00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,695 How long do we have to be at this? 83 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,489 We gotta hang out awhile, have a few drinks, mingle a little. 84 00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:07,700 We'll leave soon. Go take a picture with Alan. 85 00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:08,743 Alan who? 86 00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:11,120 Alan, the guy that financed the fucking movie, Vince. 87 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,749 - The one with the hot daughter? - No, he's got the gay son. He's over there. 88 00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:17,626 Do it. Let's get a drink, I'll meet you here in a few minutes. 89 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:21,380 Every year, after every premiere, Vince likes to go night swimming. 90 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,049 That was you? 91 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,470 (INDISTINCT CHATTING) 92 00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:36,687 Excuse me. 93 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,440 - Eric. - Hey, Ari. How you doing? What's up? 94 00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:42,401 - What's Vince doing? - He's over there talking to some people. 95 00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:44,445 Why hasn't he read Matterhorn? 96 00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:47,031 The movie just ended, let him enjoy himself. 97 00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,699 No. What does he do all day? 98 00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:49,784 - Today? - Yeah. 99 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,035 He worked on his short game. 100 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,788 Yeah, he's got one job, to read fucking scripts. 101 00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:56,832 - He can't do it? - Go tell him that, he's standing right there. 102 00:06:56,917 --> 00:07:00,127 - What are you talking to me for? - Tuesday, courtside, all right? 103 00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:03,339 If you get him to read... Wait for it. 104 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:06,008 Get him to read Matterhorn, okay? 105 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:09,053 I will take care of it. Relax, have fun tonight, will you? 106 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,971 - What does he need? - What do you need? 107 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,223 I'm on ass patrol. 108 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,850 I got a six-pack, one of them kind of looks like Kristen. 109 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,520 - What are you, an asshole? - I'm just saying, revenge fuck. 110 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,439 I'm gonna revenge fuck someone 'cause she looks like my ex? 111 00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:21,774 I would. 112 00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:24,693 More importantly, this girl told me she loves to give head. 113 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:28,280 I know you desperately need it, so I'm gonna make sure she gives it to you. 114 00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:31,283 I'm sure some girl told you she loves to give head, too, right? 115 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,119 No, I told her I loved Derek Jeter first. 116 00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,412 - Then she told me that. - Legally Blonde, 2 o'clock. 117 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,374 Boy, here she comes. 118 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:44,171 - Where's Vince? I can't find him anywhere. - I don't even think he came tonight. 119 00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:47,716 Do not fuck with me, Turtle. Just tell me where he is. 120 00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,553 Are we gonna do this again tonight? 121 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,056 - Go fuck yourself, Eric. - (TURTLE SNICKERING) 122 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,142 Why are you mad at me? I didn't do anything. 123 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,102 Come on, E. Let's go, these girls are hot. 124 00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:00,813 They won some KROQ premiere contest. They want to party... 125 00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:03,607 but first they want to meet Vince, so you gotta hook it up. 126 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,484 Could you get laid without Vince? 127 00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:07,486 Do I give a fuck? That's the answer. 128 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,738 (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) 129 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:13,450 (INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION) 130 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,430 (EXCITED SCREAMS) 131 00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:43,272 So, you all live here together? 132 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:47,067 - I live in the guest house. - I'm a guest. Show me. 133 00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:54,783 - What's wrong? - Nothing. 134 00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:58,996 You just kind of remind me of somebody, it's freaking me out a little bit. 135 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,582 Ah. Come on. You can tell me about her. 136 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:04,376 Are you really Vince's brother? 137 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:08,505 - You all don't look very much alike. - Yeah, I get that a lot. 138 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,550 Because I have a lot less body fat. 139 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:12,635 (CHUCKLES) 140 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:16,305 - Come on, what do I gotta do to get a little? - Beg. 141 00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,141 I'd get on my knees, but I'd drown. 142 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,937 Look, it's not like I don't think you're cute... 143 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:26,941 but I'm just still hoping I'm gonna be the one that fucks Vince. 144 00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:30,069 Sweetheart, look around, Vince is gone. 145 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,488 So is your sister and your best friend. 146 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:36,825 Come on, just make out with me, I'll show you where Vince eats breakfast. 147 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,160 Okay. 148 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:54,009 Morning, Jorge. How you doing? Watch this shot. Are you ready? 149 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,679 Roberto, sorry about that, buddy. 150 00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:02,518 Morning, Blanca. 151 00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,354 - Morning, guys. - What's up? 152 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:09,316 - How did it go last night, boy? - What do you want, a play-by-play? 153 00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:12,111 - I fucked like a puma. - My girl went nuts, E. 154 00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:13,946 First, second, juggling the speed bags... 155 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,991 next, she was telling me how her uncle used to watch her shower. 156 00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:18,951 - That's great. - TURTLE: Don't sweat it. 157 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,078 I gave her Vince's jeans. She left thrilled. 158 00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:22,288 What's up, fellas? 159 00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:24,623 Vince, you gotta read this thing. Ari's going nuts. 160 00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:26,333 I know, he just called. 161 00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:28,335 - Did you read it? - Yeah. 162 00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:32,047 - I didn't like it. - Fuck it, then. What do I gotta read it for? 163 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,675 I don't know. You might see something different. 164 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:38,470 - You see any parts for me, E? - I'm not gonna see anything different. 165 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:41,640 What you like, I like. I mean, look at last night. 166 00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:46,228 - You liked that and I think we got a hit. - A hit? We got a monster, Vince. 167 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,522 Yeah, I liked it, but you still read it. 168 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:51,025 - No. - You're kidding me, right? 169 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,986 I didn't even know who the killer was until I saw the fucking thing. 170 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,237 (SNICKERS) 171 00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:59,325 - Unbelievable. - VINCE: Call Ari and cancel the meeting. 172 00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,535 - What meeting is that? - Warner's. 173 00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:04,997 - I told him I'd go meet the French director. - Can I ask you a question? 174 00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:08,125 Why would you agree to a meeting when you haven't read the script? 175 00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:11,920 Because at the time I agreed, I still believed I'd read it. 176 00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,173 All right, cancel the meeting. 177 00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:17,092 You know what? I'll take the meeting. 178 00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:20,179 It's rude to cancel at the last second. 179 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,390 - What are you gonna talk about? - I'll listen. 180 00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:27,186 That's what good actors do, they listen. Right, Johnny? 181 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,104 What? 182 00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:46,038 The guy's a legend, Vince. Just talk about his old movies, he'll love it. 183 00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:49,041 - What's he done? - How the fuck would I know? 184 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:52,378 Vince will love that. He'll love that. 185 00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,254 All right, thanks. 186 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,381 (BARKS) 187 00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:58,509 That was Black Hack. Says he's got a dog that'd be perfect for us. 188 00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:00,552 - We're getting a dog? - A guard dog. 189 00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:03,722 - Sweet. - Check out the picture, he's beautiful. 190 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,643 He's got a great body, E. Look at those calves. 191 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,978 This isn't a guard dog, this is a fucking lawsuit. 192 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,731 - Forget it. - I was talking to Vince, all right? 193 00:12:12,816 --> 00:12:13,899 This is house business. 194 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:16,527 You don't live in the house, so it's not your business. 195 00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,821 - Yeah. - Fuck you guys. 196 00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:22,074 - You did move out on us. - I live in the guest house. 197 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:24,410 Which in my mind is still totally fucked up. 198 00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:25,536 Here we go. 199 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,746 You never asked for the guest house, Johnny. 200 00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:29,873 I shouldn't have to ask. I'm your brother. 201 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,960 TURTLE: Half-brother. Vince thought you were his cousin till, like, 14. 202 00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:35,712 You know what? For two years, you guys mooched off me. 203 00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:39,091 - You ate my food, you fucked my fall-out. - Your what? 204 00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:42,428 My Melrose Place fall-out pussy. And what's my payback? 205 00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,430 Sharing a bathroom with this fat fuck. 206 00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:47,766 Do you need to go at my weight, you balding, unemployable douche bag? 207 00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:49,935 Johnny, you're family, I need you close. 208 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:53,397 You'll thank me when Charles Manson breaks in and slits Eric's throat... 209 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,524 while we're safe with... What's the dog's name? 210 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,401 - Arnold. - Arnold? 211 00:12:58,027 --> 00:12:59,987 I like that. Get the dog, Turtle. 212 00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,197 Quick decisions. That's why you're a star. 213 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,408 Do what you have to, but I don't pick up dog shit. 214 00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:05,701 It's the wrecking crew. 215 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,619 Hey, Turtle, I hooked you up with my friend, right? 216 00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:08,745 Yeah, yeah. 217 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:11,165 That shit ain't free, pay him his fucking money. 218 00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:14,626 - Come on, you know I'm good for it. - Drama, let's tee up, man. 219 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:18,130 You know, I'm working on that thing. But, yeah, I could do it. 220 00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:22,050 Guys, I'll catch you later. 221 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,928 (INAUDIBLE) 222 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,482 ERIC: No use beating yourself up over it. 223 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:38,817 If you didn't like the guy, you didn't like the guy. 224 00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:41,487 VINCE: He kept asking me questions, I didn't know what he wanted. 225 00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:44,823 - French, can't understand a word they say. - All directors are pricks. 226 00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:47,618 He didn't even see my last two films. What's that about? 227 00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:49,328 You didn't read his script. 228 00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:52,164 How can you compare watching a DVD with reading a script? 229 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,458 Vince, don't even worry, it's probably a dumb movie anyway. 230 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:55,709 (PHONE RINGING) 231 00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:58,670 - What's up, Ari? - I got some feedback from the frog director. 232 00:13:58,755 --> 00:13:59,838 Yeah, listen... 233 00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:01,757 - He loved you. - Really? 234 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,551 They wanna wrap you up in a scarf and give you a baguette. 235 00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,094 (MOUTHING) 236 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,764 They wanna throw $4 million at you. 237 00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:10,557 You're kidding. 238 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,934 Are you smiling? 239 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:15,395 - Yeah, I'm smiling. - Can you hear me smiling? Listen. 240 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,648 You got my balls tingling, man. 241 00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:20,442 They drive that way in Tiananmen Square, bitch? 242 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,320 - Call me. - I'll talk to you later, bye. 243 00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:28,116 - They just offered me $4 million. - Holy shit, are you kidding me? 244 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,910 - Yes! - Yeah, baby. 245 00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:34,164 - E., what do you think I should do? - I think you should read the fucking thing. 246 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,208 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 247 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:39,878 That's 300 bones plus, and I hit it off the toe. 248 00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:41,129 Next time aim west. 249 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:44,007 I don't need Ed Begley coming here in his electric car again. 250 00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:47,719 That ain't Begley's house. Pierce Brosnan's got the Spanish roof. 251 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,389 I bet Black Hack can get us a deal on this G5. 252 00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:53,141 How do you fly on a jet that your weed dealer handles? 253 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:56,186 He don't fly the fucking thing. He knows brokers. 254 00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:58,272 Guys, give it up, all right? 255 00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:01,817 Vince isn't gonna do some dog-shit movie just so he can time-share a jet. 256 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,820 Who says it's a shit movie? Sounded like a cool idea to me. 257 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:08,407 This from a guy who thought Guiding Light was a cool idea four years ago. 258 00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:11,577 We listen to you, we'd all be working for some loser on a soap. 259 00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:13,328 I'm up for a soap. 260 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:15,789 Sorry, Drama. 261 00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,958 Vince will be a star no matter what. 262 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:20,460 It was pre-destined. The kid's a triple-threat. 263 00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:22,629 He's got the look, he's got the talent. 264 00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:24,756 - He's got the head. - The what? 265 00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:28,844 The head, the big head. You guys telling me you don't know this? 266 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,971 The bigger the head, the bigger the star. 267 00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:34,308 - You're such an idiot. - Bruce Willis, big head. 268 00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:38,186 Russell Crowe, big head. Arnold Schwarzenegger, big head. 269 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,647 Vincent Chase, big, big head. 270 00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:46,820 - How's my head? - Not so big. 271 00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:49,865 But your ears are huge, if that helps you out at all. 272 00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:51,533 E.! 273 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,119 Hey, E.! 274 00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:57,497 - Yo. - I can't get through it, man. 275 00:15:57,582 --> 00:16:00,250 - What's the problem? - I can't tell if the script sucks... 276 00:16:00,335 --> 00:16:02,961 or if it's just I got the sound of a jet engine in my head. 277 00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:05,631 - No, Vince, G5's whisper quiet. - Shut up, Turtle. 278 00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,007 Keep reading. 279 00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:11,803 - Give me that thing. Take that. - You going for Brosnan? 280 00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:14,640 Three bones, baby, three bones. 281 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:16,600 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 282 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:17,809 (GRUNTING) 283 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:19,061 (DRAMA LAUGHING) 284 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,104 - You suck. - I don't know, it's a cop. 285 00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:24,691 - I've never played a cop. Can I play a cop? - You can play anything, Vince. 286 00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:27,569 Cop's tough. I did four eps of Blue. 287 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,530 The wrong guy could look real stupid carrying a gun. 288 00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:34,701 - And when were you on NYPD Blue? - I was on Pacific Blue, cock breath. 289 00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:36,453 - Oh... - And you know that. 290 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:38,580 For $4 million, we could buy this house. 291 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,874 You only got $2 million for your last movie. 292 00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:43,293 - That's a big bump up. - What do you think, E? 293 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,545 If they're gonna give you $4 million for this... 294 00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,839 they'll give you $4 million for something you love. 295 00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:49,049 TURTLE: What the fuck do you know? 296 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:51,718 Guy does two years at Queens Community, suddenly he runs this town. 297 00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:53,136 - (PHONE RINGING) - (SHUSHING) 298 00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:55,597 It's Ari. Ari, what's up? 299 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,391 You get a chance to look at Matterhorn? 300 00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,685 Yeah, you know what, I don't really understand it. 301 00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:03,522 - You don't understand? Are you kidding? - I don't know, it's a little confusing. 302 00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:05,357 This is your artistic bar mitzvah, baby. 303 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:07,567 You're gonna step up, you're the man in this one. 304 00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:09,486 - Eric hates it. - Eric hates it, okay. 305 00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:12,197 He says you should get me $4 million for something I love. 306 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,490 You're an idiot, dude. 307 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:16,034 What did you think of the script? Fuck Eric. 308 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,620 - You want to talk to him? - I don't want to talk to him. 309 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,539 I'm not talking to him. No. 310 00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:24,042 Fucking. Ari, what's up? 311 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:25,460 Hey, Eric. 312 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,838 Why don't you and I sit down and have dinner? 313 00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:30,590 - Tonight? - Yeah, we'll sit down over at Koi. 314 00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:34,302 7:30, we'll talk about future plans. Figure out what's right for us. 315 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,929 Okay, cool. 316 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,390 All right, I'll see you there. 317 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:43,270 He wants to have dinner with me tonight. Talk about finding you a new project. 318 00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:45,772 I don't always have to be in the middle of everything. 319 00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:47,274 You want us to go with him? 320 00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:50,068 What is this, a sweet 16? This is my career. 321 00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:51,611 - Let Eric handle it. - (DOORBELL RINGS) 322 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,363 Yo, fellas, the puppy's here, baby. 323 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,907 (BARKING) 324 00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:59,578 How is this dog gonna protect you? You can't even get him out of the crate. 325 00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:02,080 Relax. Just gotta bond with him, learn his language. 326 00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:05,751 Three days, he'll be taking chicken out of my mouth. Right, baby? 327 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:06,835 (WHINING) 328 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,545 (BARKING) 329 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:11,256 Drama, don't stare at him, retard. 330 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,592 What do you wanna do, Vince? 331 00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:17,846 I kind of want to see this dog in action. 332 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:21,558 Hey, Turtle, I'm guessing you want to go... 333 00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:24,269 to that lingerie party at the Mansion on Thursday? 334 00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:26,521 Yeah, what do you guys got in mind? 335 00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:32,486 (BARKING) 336 00:18:35,198 --> 00:18:37,616 All right, you pansies, let her rip. 337 00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:41,286 Here he comes. 338 00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:45,207 Not the nuts. I'm saving them for Miss August. 339 00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:47,584 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 340 00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:52,339 (YELLING AND LAUGHING) 341 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:56,885 Hang in there, Turtle. 342 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:02,641 That sake you're drinking, my wife and I discovered in Hokkaido. 343 00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:04,643 We were visiting Sofia on the set of Lost. 344 00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:08,814 That film didn't really capture the place. Twice as boring in real life. 345 00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:11,066 How about you, you dating? What's going on? 346 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,777 I broke up with Kristen. You know that, right? 347 00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:16,404 The little blonde? I thought she was the one for you. 348 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,156 Brunette, actually, but, yeah... 349 00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:20,242 I guess she thought her ex was a better play. 350 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:24,120 Ask me who I'm fucking. Come on, who am I fucking? 351 00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:27,499 - Mrs. Ari? - Please, come on. 352 00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:28,834 Irina Korova. 353 00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:31,628 I don't know who that is. 354 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:34,548 Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, she's the cover. 355 00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:36,216 She's that Russian chick. 356 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:39,261 Yeah, I think Vince hit that. Did you ask him first? 357 00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:40,846 I'm kidding with you. Relax. 358 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:41,930 (ARI CHUCKLES HALF-HEARTEDLY) 359 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,431 Let me ask you something. 360 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,475 Why are you talking Vince out of Matterhorn? 361 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,061 - I didn't talk him out of it. - What is it, the dialogue? 362 00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:50,939 I can get some hack to come in, rewrite it. No problem, boom. 363 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,608 - It doesn't matter what I think. - It does matter. 364 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:57,487 You're part of the team, baby. I mean, I gotta know what you think... 365 00:19:57,572 --> 00:20:00,198 so I can get you to think what I think, you know? 366 00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:02,075 Okay, I didn't love it. 367 00:20:02,285 --> 00:20:04,911 It's Die Hard at Disneyland. What's not to love? 368 00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:08,373 Personally, I don't want to watch kids blowing up at Disneyland. 369 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,208 Where do you want to watch them blow up? 370 00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:13,336 Nowhere. That's the point. I just read an article in The Times... 371 00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:15,797 The New York Times, not this shit they got out here... 372 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:17,591 - You read The Times, huh? - Yeah. 373 00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:20,218 - You read The New Republic? - I've heard of it. 374 00:20:20,303 --> 00:20:23,054 I was reading that. It's interesting, 'cause what it says... 375 00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:26,391 is that you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. (LAUGHS) 376 00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:28,602 Look, I thought we were gonna sit here... 377 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:31,396 and talk about how we could find a project that Vince loves. 378 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,106 How you and I could work together. 379 00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:36,026 How long you been out here, Eric? How long? 380 00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:37,903 Fourteen months. 381 00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:40,572 Fourteen months. And what were you doing back there? 382 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,282 Back on the East Coast? 383 00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:45,243 - Managing an Italian restaurant. - There you go. 384 00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:48,997 Now, if I was opening a pizzeria, then you and I could work together. 385 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,458 I know you mean well. You're Vince's friend... 386 00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:53,543 you want to protect him against making a bomb. 387 00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:57,422 Bombs are bad, they kill your career, right? Wrong. Know what kills your career? 388 00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,132 Passing on a hit. 389 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:02,928 Don't blame me if you can't get your client to do what you want him to do. 390 00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:04,346 I resent this. 391 00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:07,098 I don't have dinner with people like you. I don't do it... 392 00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:08,433 I don't do this. 393 00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:10,435 You think Hugh Jackman calls me and says: 394 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:13,313 "Ari, love the script, but I gotta run it past my pizza boy"? 395 00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:15,106 I've been doing this for 15 years, okay? 396 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:17,567 What the hell do you know? Come on. 397 00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:21,279 I know that two years ago you were the asshole that wouldn't call Vince back. 398 00:21:21,364 --> 00:21:25,158 I also know, Ari, if you ever fucking talk to me like that again... 399 00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:27,827 I will slap that grin right off your face. 400 00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:31,748 You're gonna get street on me now? Is that what you're gonna do? 401 00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:35,043 You know what? Enjoy your dinner. 402 00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:37,671 This sake sucks. 403 00:21:39,382 --> 00:21:41,383 Can I get a check, please? 404 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:43,510 (SPEAKING JAPANESE) 405 00:21:46,889 --> 00:21:48,890 (MAN ON TV SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 406 00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:56,064 - (GROANS) - (GASPS) 407 00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:59,567 - Fucking scared the shit out me. - What, were you spanking it? 408 00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:01,695 Yeah, I'm jerking off to Sports Center. 409 00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:04,489 You are. Look, he was tugging it to the lady golfers. 410 00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:05,824 - (SQUIRTING SOUNDS) - (LAUGHING) 411 00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:08,326 - Whatever. - How was your big dinner with Ari? 412 00:22:08,411 --> 00:22:10,453 I'm going to bed. I'll tell you in the morning. 413 00:22:10,538 --> 00:22:12,497 You're not going to bed, we're going to Vegas. 414 00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:14,666 What? We're flying for the reunion tomorrow. 415 00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:17,335 No, we're flying from Vegas, Black Hack got us a jet. 416 00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:18,503 I'm not going to Vegas. 417 00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:20,922 Don't be a pussy. The Maloofs are hooking us up. 418 00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:23,258 Vince is upstairs right now emptying out the safe. 419 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:26,011 Put $10 on red, and I'll see you guys in New York. 420 00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:30,265 Should we tell him? We should tell him. Kristen's fucking Vince Vaughn. 421 00:22:32,101 --> 00:22:33,685 What are you talking about? 422 00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:36,604 She's back with what's his face, the restaurateur. 423 00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:40,984 She was in the middle of 40 Deuce with her hand down Vince Vaughn's pants. 424 00:22:41,068 --> 00:22:44,446 - She had her hand down his pants? - Both of them. 425 00:22:45,114 --> 00:22:48,199 Vince Vaughn? That puffy motherfucker. 426 00:22:48,284 --> 00:22:52,120 No, bro. He didn't look puffy at all. He was looking real good. 427 00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:55,623 Yeah, it was like Swingers Vince Vaughn, not Old School Vince Vaughn. 428 00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:57,250 It was like new school Vince Vaughn. 429 00:22:57,334 --> 00:23:00,211 He looked like he'd been working out with a personal trainer... 430 00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:02,172 probably a nutritionist, too. 431 00:23:04,133 --> 00:23:05,216 What? 432 00:23:05,301 --> 00:23:07,552 You're the worst fucking actor I've ever seen. 433 00:23:07,636 --> 00:23:09,888 - You indicating motherfucker. - What? What did I do? 434 00:23:09,972 --> 00:23:12,015 - We had him. - And how is this funny, anyway? 435 00:23:12,099 --> 00:23:14,100 Look, I'm shaking. I feel like I'll throw up. 436 00:23:14,185 --> 00:23:15,894 - You deserve it. - Yeah, why's that? 437 00:23:15,978 --> 00:23:19,189 You broke the rule: No girlfriends, no commitments. 438 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:21,191 Fellas, I need to talk to E. 439 00:23:21,275 --> 00:23:23,902 Please, Vince, talk to the guy, he's being a little bitch. 440 00:23:23,986 --> 00:23:26,446 Yeah, payback's gonna be a bigger bitch. You'll see. 441 00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,698 Guys, give me a second, all right? 442 00:23:29,492 --> 00:23:33,286 I just talked to Ari. He said you threatened to beat him up. 443 00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:36,998 Yeah, the guy's a real prick, Vince. 444 00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:39,209 He's my agent. 445 00:23:39,293 --> 00:23:41,711 You can't go around town threatening people, E. 446 00:23:41,796 --> 00:23:45,173 - We're not back in high school. - He called me "pizza boy." 447 00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:47,926 What, you were the night manager at Sbarro's, weren't you? 448 00:23:48,010 --> 00:23:50,887 You know what, fuck you, too. How about that? 449 00:23:50,971 --> 00:23:54,015 Okay, so Ari's an asshole. What do you want me to do, fire him? 450 00:23:54,100 --> 00:23:55,642 Yeah, that's what I want you to do. 451 00:23:55,726 --> 00:23:57,852 I want you to call him right now and fire him. 452 00:23:57,937 --> 00:23:59,020 All right. 453 00:24:03,317 --> 00:24:04,359 What are you doing? 454 00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:06,444 Put the phone down. What's wrong with you? 455 00:24:06,529 --> 00:24:09,989 - What's wrong with you? - Look at you, you're ready to fire your agent. 456 00:24:10,074 --> 00:24:13,785 This is your life, your career. You care about that at all or what? 457 00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:16,412 I care. It's just this shit is hard. 458 00:24:16,497 --> 00:24:19,916 Picking movies, I can't do that. I'm an actor. Let me act like an actor. 459 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,293 Why don't you act like you know what the fuck is up? 460 00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:25,421 What are you saying? You want me to make your decisions for you? 461 00:24:25,506 --> 00:24:28,383 I don't know, I can't decide. Yeah. 462 00:24:29,552 --> 00:24:32,220 Jesus Christ. Do you know where I'd be if I had your face? 463 00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:34,264 Yeah. Well, you don't. 464 00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:38,059 Look, should I do the movie or not? 465 00:24:38,686 --> 00:24:40,145 You know what I think? 466 00:24:40,229 --> 00:24:43,606 The script's a piece of shit and I don't think you should do the movie. 467 00:24:43,691 --> 00:24:46,067 Okay. That's that. 468 00:24:48,112 --> 00:24:50,989 I wanted to take some time off just to chill anyway. 469 00:24:51,073 --> 00:24:55,243 Come on, Vince. Who you kidding? You've been chilling for three months. 470 00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:59,289 Yeah, but I was all stressed those months. Now I'm just gonna chill. 471 00:25:01,250 --> 00:25:03,918 - Whatever. - Come on, we'll talk about it in Vegas. 472 00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:06,379 - I'm not going to Vegas. - Hmm? 473 00:25:07,131 --> 00:25:09,215 What do you mean you're not going to Vegas? 474 00:25:09,300 --> 00:25:12,093 - I'm not gonna go. - Come on, we'll have a blast. 475 00:25:12,178 --> 00:25:14,012 We got The Real World suite at the Palms. 476 00:25:14,096 --> 00:25:16,723 - No, I'm not gonna go. - Yeah, me neither. 477 00:25:16,807 --> 00:25:19,142 Those guys were kind of psyched to go, but fuck it. 478 00:25:19,226 --> 00:25:23,188 - Maybe we'll bag the reunion, too. - I'm not bagging the reunion. 479 00:25:23,981 --> 00:25:27,734 - You'd go without me? - Yeah, I'd rather go without you. 480 00:25:27,985 --> 00:25:30,320 - Fuck you. - I'm not trying to be an asshole... 481 00:25:30,404 --> 00:25:33,156 I'm just saying, you go and it turns into the Vince show. 482 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,325 I know what's going on. 483 00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:38,161 You're just afraid I'll fuck that little Asian chick... 484 00:25:38,245 --> 00:25:40,246 you used to chase around. What was her name? 485 00:25:40,331 --> 00:25:41,789 Sarah Lum. 486 00:25:42,625 --> 00:25:44,542 - I don't care about Sarah Lum. - Dim Sum Lum. 487 00:25:44,627 --> 00:25:46,127 Don't call her that. 488 00:25:46,462 --> 00:25:48,588 All right, I'll go. 489 00:25:48,839 --> 00:25:52,759 - Your passive-aggressive shit got me. - All right, we leave for the airport at 3:00. 490 00:25:52,843 --> 00:25:56,221 - And don't even look at Sarah Lum. - You're just gonna have to tell her. 491 00:25:56,305 --> 00:25:57,889 This is my no-fly zone. 492 00:25:57,973 --> 00:26:00,683 If she enters my airspace, she's going down. 493 00:26:02,728 --> 00:26:04,145 Your airspace? 494 00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:11,110 Check it out, fellas. Jacket still fits. 495 00:26:11,195 --> 00:26:13,404 Turtle, where did you pack the Bose headsets? 496 00:26:13,489 --> 00:26:14,572 What Bose headsets? 497 00:26:14,657 --> 00:26:17,242 The ones I told you to pick up for the flight yesterday. 498 00:26:17,326 --> 00:26:19,535 You didn't tell me to pick up any Bose headsets. 499 00:26:19,620 --> 00:26:22,747 Yes, I did. I told you to go to the Bose store... 500 00:26:22,831 --> 00:26:25,041 and pick up four fucking pairs of Bose headsets. 501 00:26:25,125 --> 00:26:27,210 Vince wants to listen to music on the flight... 502 00:26:27,294 --> 00:26:30,296 he doesn't want to hear you jabbering in his ear. Now fucking go. 503 00:26:30,381 --> 00:26:32,423 - Jesus, what got into you? - Just fucking go! 504 00:26:32,508 --> 00:26:36,302 - Meet us at the airport. - What a bunch of bullshit. 505 00:26:41,350 --> 00:26:44,435 Headsets? I'm only getting three. 506 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,188 We'll be bumping Biggie, you'll be humming show tunes. 507 00:26:47,273 --> 00:26:49,565 What was that about? I don't want any headsets. 508 00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:51,734 The guy thinks I'm the boy for this sound shit? 509 00:26:51,819 --> 00:26:55,280 You also don't want to be driving around in a car that has that on it. 510 00:26:58,951 --> 00:27:00,618 (LAUGHING) 511 00:27:02,538 --> 00:27:04,205 VINCE: That's a good one. 512 00:27:07,001 --> 00:27:09,043 - Laugh it up, Drama, you're next. - (PHONE RINGING) 513 00:27:11,380 --> 00:27:13,256 It's Ari, talk to him. 514 00:27:16,302 --> 00:27:18,386 - Hello? - Hello, Eric. 515 00:27:19,305 --> 00:27:23,057 - I'd like to talk to Vince. - Yeah? He'd like you to talk to me. 516 00:27:25,561 --> 00:27:29,105 Okay, player, tell him Colin Farrell took Matterhorn. 517 00:27:29,189 --> 00:27:30,565 Fuck you! 518 00:27:37,072 --> 00:27:38,698 What did he say? 519 00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:41,242 Colin Farrell's doing Matterhorn. 520 00:27:45,247 --> 00:27:46,581 He's good. 521 00:27:47,791 --> 00:27:50,793 I hope you know what you're doing, pizza boy.