1
00:00:04,136 --> 00:00:06,070
You wanted to see me?
Yeah, have a seat.
2
00:00:06,138 --> 00:00:07,628
Is it serious?
3
00:00:09,775 --> 00:00:12,335
Wow. Andy's
a little scared.
4
00:00:12,411 --> 00:00:13,537
Okay, right there.
5
00:00:15,013 --> 00:00:16,776
Right there's the problem.
6
00:00:16,848 --> 00:00:19,282
There have been reports
around the office
7
00:00:19,351 --> 00:00:22,912
that you have been
talking baby talk.
8
00:00:22,988 --> 00:00:24,046
Why would people
say that?
9
00:00:24,122 --> 00:00:29,492
Well, I have it on good authority
that you said the following.
10
00:00:29,761 --> 00:00:31,353
Can you read that
back to me?
11
00:00:31,430 --> 00:00:33,455
"Andy have a boo-boo
tummy." Mmm-hmm.
12
00:00:33,698 --> 00:00:36,166
Would you rather me say,
13
00:00:36,234 --> 00:00:40,193
"Hey, guys, my irritable
bowel syndrome is flaring up."
14
00:00:40,272 --> 00:00:42,502
Okay. "Crazy diarrhea
happening right now."
15
00:00:42,574 --> 00:00:44,303
'Cause things can get
real adult real fast.
16
00:00:44,376 --> 00:00:46,207
You are also on
record as saying,
17
00:00:46,278 --> 00:00:48,508
"Wittle-ittle,
footie-wooties, num-nums,
18
00:00:48,580 --> 00:00:52,482
"jammies, make boom-boom,
widiciwus, and Whode Island."
19
00:00:53,318 --> 00:00:55,752
Do I sometimes
replace Rs with Ws?
20
00:00:55,887 --> 00:00:57,855
Do I sometimes repeat a
word to get my point across?
21
00:00:57,923 --> 00:01:00,983
Well, if I do,
Andy's sowwy.
22
00:01:01,059 --> 00:01:04,051
You can't be a baby
in the office.
23
00:01:04,129 --> 00:01:06,791
It makes me look
like I hire babies.
24
00:01:06,865 --> 00:01:07,957
Well, if we're
complaining,
25
00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:09,967
a lot of people think your
Elvis voice is annoying.
26
00:01:10,035 --> 00:01:11,195
Okay. Who said that?
27
00:01:11,269 --> 00:01:12,429
Just people.
28
00:01:12,504 --> 00:01:15,473
For the record, I think
it's pretty fantastic.
29
00:01:15,540 --> 00:01:17,565
Thank you.
Thank you a lot.
30
00:01:18,210 --> 00:01:20,303
And for what it's worth, I
think your baby voice is tops.
31
00:01:20,378 --> 00:01:22,369
Tank you, Mr. Elvis.
32
00:01:22,447 --> 00:01:23,675
You're welcome, baby.
33
00:01:48,340 --> 00:01:50,570
Dr. Tuna M.D., I have
some terrible news.
34
00:01:50,642 --> 00:01:52,041
Wait, are you the patient
or the doctor?
35
00:01:52,110 --> 00:01:53,907
The entire office
has come down
36
00:01:53,979 --> 00:01:56,641
with a pernicious
case of the Mondays.
37
00:01:57,082 --> 00:01:58,606
Wow. What do you put
our chances at?
38
00:01:58,683 --> 00:01:59,877
0%.
39
00:02:00,418 --> 00:02:04,752
Unless we perform an immediate
emergency morale transplant, stat!
40
00:02:05,557 --> 00:02:06,581
Sounds risky.
41
00:02:06,658 --> 00:02:08,990
Don't worry.
There is a surefire cure.
42
00:02:09,794 --> 00:02:13,696
Employee of the Month. Every
awesome place I've worked had one.
43
00:02:13,899 --> 00:02:18,359
Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers,
AIG, my summer at Enron.
44
00:02:19,204 --> 00:02:21,434
Wow. That's not such a bad idea. Great.
45
00:02:21,506 --> 00:02:23,303
Anything else?
Nope.
46
00:02:26,444 --> 00:02:28,537
"Frankie's Dirty Joke
of the Day."
47
00:02:28,613 --> 00:02:30,205
There's a bunch of those.
Keep.
48
00:02:30,282 --> 00:02:32,807
There's a bunch of sent emails
that just say "delivered."
49
00:02:32,884 --> 00:02:33,976
Should I delete those?
50
00:02:34,052 --> 00:02:36,520
I want to keep those
so I can see what I sent.
51
00:02:36,588 --> 00:02:37,748
That's why you have
a sent mail folder.
52
00:02:37,822 --> 00:02:38,880
Keep.
53
00:02:38,957 --> 00:02:41,926
There's about three news
alerts from Nip Slip.
54
00:02:41,993 --> 00:02:43,790
For what?
Nip Slip.
55
00:02:43,862 --> 00:02:45,989
Okay. I don't know
how those get on there.
56
00:02:46,064 --> 00:02:47,122
Well...
57
00:02:47,198 --> 00:02:48,893
Must be hackers.
58
00:02:48,967 --> 00:02:51,094
Hey, what's up?
59
00:02:51,403 --> 00:02:54,668
What if I told you I had
done the worst thing ever?
60
00:02:54,739 --> 00:02:56,104
Would you still want
to be my friend?
61
00:02:56,174 --> 00:02:57,368
Did you murder someone?
62
00:02:57,442 --> 00:02:58,500
Worse than murder.
63
00:02:58,577 --> 00:02:59,737
Oh, my God.
64
00:03:00,178 --> 00:03:01,509
Lurk much?
65
00:03:03,348 --> 00:03:04,713
I miss Pam.
66
00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:08,776
I think she's okay.
67
00:03:08,853 --> 00:03:11,515
Is that what we're
going for now? "Okay"?
68
00:03:11,590 --> 00:03:13,285
We used to go
for "pretty good."
69
00:03:13,358 --> 00:03:14,416
Great.
70
00:03:14,492 --> 00:03:15,959
Hey, how do you feel
about starting
71
00:03:16,027 --> 00:03:17,460
an Employee of
the Month program?
72
00:03:17,529 --> 00:03:20,930
Yeah. You know what, that
actually might make me feel better.
73
00:03:20,999 --> 00:03:22,296
I'm not in this for
the trophies, but...
74
00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:23,391
You're not in it at all
75
00:03:23,468 --> 00:03:25,333
'cause you can't be Employee
of the Month. You're a manager.
76
00:03:25,403 --> 00:03:26,927
Well, technically
I am a co-manager
77
00:03:27,005 --> 00:03:28,836
and I barely have
any responsibilities.
78
00:03:28,907 --> 00:03:31,273
All right. Yeah. But I work
hard, I love this company,
79
00:03:31,343 --> 00:03:33,811
and for those reasons I think I would
make a good Employee of the Month.
80
00:03:33,878 --> 00:03:35,004
It would look bad. Sorry.
81
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,446
It would look good
on my mantle.
82
00:03:38,049 --> 00:03:39,983
Jim's talking to
Michael right now.
83
00:03:40,051 --> 00:03:41,916
They totally
went for our idea!
84
00:03:41,987 --> 00:03:44,512
Yeah! Your idea.
85
00:03:44,623 --> 00:03:45,851
My idea.
86
00:03:46,191 --> 00:03:47,852
I just need Andy to
think it's his idea
87
00:03:47,926 --> 00:03:50,690
so it won't get
traced back to me.
88
00:03:51,229 --> 00:03:55,632
In approximately six hours Jim will
get a phone call from David Wallace.
89
00:03:56,201 --> 00:03:57,532
He will be fired.
90
00:03:57,802 --> 00:04:01,363
Hey, Pam, do you have a sec
to check over this itinerary?
91
00:04:02,574 --> 00:04:03,563
Looks great.
92
00:04:03,642 --> 00:04:06,543
Did you really look it over?
Felt like maybe you didn't.
93
00:04:06,611 --> 00:04:07,737
Okay.
94
00:04:09,014 --> 00:04:12,108
The Michael Scott Foundation
is still in existence.
95
00:04:12,183 --> 00:04:15,050
There you are. I don't think
we have finished with my inbox.
96
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:16,985
What's "Scott's Tots"?
97
00:04:22,594 --> 00:04:24,721
Has it really
been 10 years?
98
00:04:34,439 --> 00:04:36,566
Michael, why did you
promise that?
99
00:04:36,641 --> 00:04:37,903
To change lives.
100
00:04:37,976 --> 00:04:40,843
No. Michael, why would you promise that?
101
00:04:40,912 --> 00:04:42,504
You know...
Okay. I can't...
102
00:04:42,747 --> 00:04:45,079
Call the school, cancel.
I can't go through with this.
103
00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:47,050
We've already rescheduled seven times.
104
00:04:47,118 --> 00:04:50,679
Michael, this is a terrible,
terrible thing you've done.
105
00:04:50,755 --> 00:04:51,779
Well...
106
00:04:51,856 --> 00:04:54,950
It's terrible.
Just terrible.
107
00:04:55,593 --> 00:04:58,027
And the longer you put it
off, the worse it's gonna get.
108
00:04:58,163 --> 00:05:00,757
I just... I fell in
love with these kids,
109
00:05:00,832 --> 00:05:03,630
and I didn't want to see them
fall victim to the system.
110
00:05:03,702 --> 00:05:04,760
So I made them
a promise.
111
00:05:04,836 --> 00:05:07,737
I told them that if they
graduated from high school,
112
00:05:07,806 --> 00:05:10,900
I would pay for their
college education.
113
00:05:10,975 --> 00:05:14,570
I have made some empty
promises in my life,
114
00:05:14,646 --> 00:05:17,171
but hands down, that
was the most generous.
115
00:05:17,315 --> 00:05:19,510
Just tell me it is going
to be okay, all right?
116
00:05:19,584 --> 00:05:20,608
No!
117
00:05:20,685 --> 00:05:23,518
I'm not a bad-news person.
I bring good news,
118
00:05:23,588 --> 00:05:25,920
like when I promised those
kids I'd pay for college.
119
00:05:27,092 --> 00:05:29,424
Okay. All right.
120
00:05:29,494 --> 00:05:30,825
You have to tell them.
121
00:05:31,763 --> 00:05:35,665
Would you come with me? You know,
like old times? Instead of...
122
00:05:36,835 --> 00:05:40,271
I can print out a new
itinerary with Pam's name on it.
123
00:05:40,772 --> 00:05:42,706
It's fine.
Erin, you're gonna go,
124
00:05:42,774 --> 00:05:44,639
and you're gonna make sure
Michael tells the truth.
125
00:05:44,709 --> 00:05:47,735
Oh, God. You know what?
Could this day get any worse?
126
00:05:48,747 --> 00:05:51,409
Hey, Jimmy, what's up?
127
00:05:51,483 --> 00:05:52,541
Not much.
128
00:05:52,617 --> 00:05:55,780
Cool. Very cool.
I bet if you tried,
129
00:05:55,987 --> 00:05:59,388
you could grow the best beard
of anyone in this office.
130
00:05:59,457 --> 00:06:00,617
Thanks, Dwight.
131
00:06:00,692 --> 00:06:02,091
That laugh is
so infectious.
132
00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,424
You're creeping me out.
I'm gonna go.
133
00:06:04,496 --> 00:06:06,726
I didn't mean any of
those things I just said.
134
00:06:06,798 --> 00:06:10,393
And you can expect the same
thing from everyone in this office
135
00:06:10,468 --> 00:06:13,767
if you don't nip this whole Employee
of the Month situation in the bud.
136
00:06:13,838 --> 00:06:16,068
Make it about
the work.
137
00:06:16,141 --> 00:06:18,006
Let me guess. You
think you should get it.
138
00:06:18,610 --> 00:06:21,636
This encompasses
all available data.
139
00:06:21,980 --> 00:06:26,280
Hours, tardiness, unconfirmed
sick days, participation.
140
00:06:26,484 --> 00:06:29,112
Everyone has been assigned
a random number
141
00:06:29,187 --> 00:06:31,815
for total fairness
and transparency.
142
00:06:32,257 --> 00:06:34,851
Also, this should be
accompanied by a monetary prize.
143
00:06:34,926 --> 00:06:36,621
Well, in an ideal
world... In an ideal world
144
00:06:36,694 --> 00:06:38,423
I would have all 10
fingers on my left hand,
145
00:06:38,496 --> 00:06:40,430
so my right hand could
just be a fist for punching.
146
00:06:40,498 --> 00:06:41,897
Okay. If it's all
the same to you,
147
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:44,730
I'm just gonna take away
survival skills and self-defense.
148
00:06:44,803 --> 00:06:46,998
I'm gonna run this
by Toby and Accounting
149
00:06:47,071 --> 00:06:48,561
and have them
assemble the data.
150
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,540
It's okay,
I'll do it.
151
00:06:54,879 --> 00:06:56,210
Mr. Scott?
152
00:06:57,382 --> 00:07:00,442
Hey! Mikela Lasker!
How are you?
153
00:07:00,518 --> 00:07:01,542
I'm good.
154
00:07:01,619 --> 00:07:02,847
Good to see you.
Where's your saxophone?
155
00:07:02,921 --> 00:07:04,513
It's in the music room,
Mr. Scott.
156
00:07:04,589 --> 00:07:06,557
Eighth-grade graduation,
she gave a rendition
157
00:07:06,624 --> 00:07:09,252
of When the Saints Go Marching In
that would blow your freaking mind.
158
00:07:09,327 --> 00:07:10,316
Wow.
159
00:07:10,395 --> 00:07:11,419
Well, you didn't
even hear it.
160
00:07:11,496 --> 00:07:13,521
Everyone's so excited
that you're here today.
161
00:07:13,598 --> 00:07:14,587
Oh, good.
Now,
162
00:07:14,666 --> 00:07:16,566
I know you probably
want to see everyone,
163
00:07:16,634 --> 00:07:18,898
but I was wondering if I could
ask you some questions first.
164
00:07:18,970 --> 00:07:20,369
Sure.
You're famous.
165
00:07:20,438 --> 00:07:22,770
I'm sure you remember
this place. Oh, yeah.
166
00:07:22,841 --> 00:07:23,865
Do you want to go in?
167
00:07:23,942 --> 00:07:25,170
No, not at all.
Nope. Come on.
168
00:07:27,946 --> 00:07:29,641
You know what? You know,
I shouldn't go in there.
169
00:07:29,714 --> 00:07:30,976
I'm pretty busy.
I shouldn't...
170
00:07:31,049 --> 00:07:33,517
We just want
to say thanks.
171
00:07:37,856 --> 00:07:41,986
Mr. Scott!
Mr. Scott! Mr. Scott!
172
00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:43,049
Mr. Scott!
173
00:07:43,962 --> 00:07:46,362
Mr. Scott,
I know you're a busy man
174
00:07:46,431 --> 00:07:48,262
and your schedule
moves around a lot,
175
00:07:48,533 --> 00:07:52,128
but for all your generosity
through the years, your tots,
176
00:07:52,503 --> 00:07:54,027
who are ready
to graduate,
177
00:07:54,105 --> 00:07:57,370
thought it was time to
give you a proper thank you.
178
00:08:04,682 --> 00:08:07,082
Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do
179
00:08:07,185 --> 00:08:09,619
What you gonna do
Make our dreams come true
180
00:08:09,687 --> 00:08:12,155
Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do
181
00:08:12,223 --> 00:08:14,521
What you gonna do
Make our dreams come true
182
00:08:14,592 --> 00:08:17,425
You came into our lives and made
a promise That made us honest
183
00:08:17,495 --> 00:08:20,430
Made us realize
We don't need to compromise
184
00:08:20,498 --> 00:08:22,056
'Cause we can have it all
185
00:08:22,133 --> 00:08:26,467
'Cause you made it possible
For us to achieve the improbable
186
00:08:26,537 --> 00:08:29,665
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey
187
00:08:29,741 --> 00:08:32,141
Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do
188
00:08:32,210 --> 00:08:35,202
What you gonna do
Make our dreams come true
189
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,138
Wow!
190
00:08:45,990 --> 00:08:49,448
Hey. So Jim thought
it would be ideal...
191
00:08:49,527 --> 00:08:51,859
Hey.
...if we all pitched in...
192
00:08:52,163 --> 00:08:53,653
So, Jim thought
it would be ideal
193
00:08:53,731 --> 00:08:57,667
if we all pitched in a 20 for this
whole Employee of the Month thing.
194
00:08:57,735 --> 00:08:58,895
Jim said that?
195
00:08:58,970 --> 00:09:01,962
He thought you were doing
an incredible job last month.
196
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,473
Jim said that?
197
00:09:03,541 --> 00:09:04,667
You seem surprised.
198
00:09:05,076 --> 00:09:07,374
No, no, that makes
total sense.
199
00:09:12,216 --> 00:09:15,151
Hey, buddy.
So everyone...
200
00:09:18,156 --> 00:09:21,648
Five minutes ahead of
schedule. Right on schedule.
201
00:09:22,327 --> 00:09:24,318
Politicians are
always coming around,
202
00:09:24,395 --> 00:09:28,456
telling us they're gonna fix our
schools, promising this and that.
203
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:33,466
But you, Mr. Scott,
you are actually doing it!
204
00:09:33,805 --> 00:09:38,071
You have taught these kids, with
hard work, that anything is possible.
205
00:09:38,476 --> 00:09:41,809
You are a dream maker,
and I thank you.
206
00:09:42,847 --> 00:09:46,510
I thank you. I thank you,
I thank you, I thank you.
207
00:09:51,889 --> 00:09:53,618
There were a lot of
times over the years
208
00:09:53,691 --> 00:09:55,784
where I was pressured
to get into the drug game.
209
00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:58,852
But I always thought back
to my guardian angel
210
00:09:59,464 --> 00:10:01,193
and the gift
that you gave me.
211
00:10:01,265 --> 00:10:04,234
So I just want to thank you
for giving me the opportunity
212
00:10:04,302 --> 00:10:06,702
to go to college,
educate myself,
213
00:10:06,771 --> 00:10:08,932
and become
the next President Obama.
214
00:10:09,007 --> 00:10:10,736
Oh, God.
215
00:10:16,414 --> 00:10:18,382
Okay, ladies and
gentlemen, welcome.
216
00:10:18,449 --> 00:10:21,782
I know you're all very excited,
but no matter who gets this,
217
00:10:21,853 --> 00:10:23,718
I just want to say
that you guys are all
218
00:10:23,788 --> 00:10:25,312
Employees of the Month
in my eyes.
219
00:10:27,158 --> 00:10:30,992
And the winner is employee
number nine, and that is...
220
00:10:31,863 --> 00:10:35,856
Number nine,
number nine, Jim Halpert.
221
00:10:35,933 --> 00:10:37,059
- What?
- What?
222
00:10:37,135 --> 00:10:39,069
Are you kidding me?
Oh, no.
223
00:10:39,137 --> 00:10:41,605
Okay, wait.
I was not...
224
00:10:42,673 --> 00:10:44,436
I did not get...
225
00:10:44,509 --> 00:10:47,137
"I did not...
That was not...
226
00:10:48,079 --> 00:10:49,103
"How come not..."
227
00:10:49,180 --> 00:10:50,272
Guys, listen.
228
00:10:50,348 --> 00:10:51,872
This was anonymous,
all right?
229
00:10:51,949 --> 00:10:53,644
There's no way I could
have given it to myself,
230
00:10:53,718 --> 00:10:55,913
because I didn't even know
who was on here.
231
00:10:55,987 --> 00:10:58,080
I just gave it to the employee
with the highest overall score.
232
00:10:58,156 --> 00:11:01,057
To my tally, you just won
back your own parking spot,
233
00:11:01,125 --> 00:11:04,959
a vacation day, and a nice tidy
quarter of $1,000 from all of us.
234
00:11:05,029 --> 00:11:06,496
Will everybody just
stop for a second?
235
00:11:06,564 --> 00:11:08,122
'Cause obviously I'm
not taking any of it.
236
00:11:08,199 --> 00:11:10,190
A mistake has been made
and we'll figure it out.
237
00:11:10,268 --> 00:11:11,860
Second of all,
there was no cash prize.
238
00:11:11,936 --> 00:11:12,960
Yes!
239
00:11:13,037 --> 00:11:14,265
Dwight?
Yeah, you said,
240
00:11:14,338 --> 00:11:16,033
"In an ideal world, there
would be a cash prize."
241
00:11:16,107 --> 00:11:18,007
Isn't that what you
said? No, Dwight, I meant,
242
00:11:18,076 --> 00:11:20,738
yes, in a perfect world, someone
would get money, but not...
243
00:11:20,812 --> 00:11:24,145
Yeah, but, in your perfect
world, only you get money.
244
00:11:24,215 --> 00:11:25,910
- Yeah, that's...
- Don't do this...
245
00:11:25,983 --> 00:11:27,917
I know, all right? Don't do...
246
00:11:27,985 --> 00:11:31,113
Let's put your hands together
and give a warm welcome
247
00:11:31,189 --> 00:11:34,090
for the man of the hour,
Mr. Michael Scott.
248
00:11:39,430 --> 00:11:40,761
Thank you.
249
00:11:44,702 --> 00:11:46,567
All right. Wow.
250
00:11:48,473 --> 00:11:51,738
I am never going to
forget today. Not a chance.
251
00:11:52,276 --> 00:11:56,235
I don't think I could ever give back
to you what you have given me today.
252
00:11:56,314 --> 00:11:59,078
Who here's done something
stupid in their lives?
253
00:11:59,150 --> 00:12:01,243
Like skipped out
on study hall
254
00:12:01,319 --> 00:12:03,378
or mix up the difference
between A gym and B gym,
255
00:12:03,454 --> 00:12:04,853
that sort of thing?
Show of hands.
256
00:12:04,922 --> 00:12:07,413
Anybody? Yes,
a bunch of you. Okay.
257
00:12:07,492 --> 00:12:11,861
Well, me, too. I've done something
stupid, which I would like to share.
258
00:12:12,130 --> 00:12:13,256
Um...
259
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,526
Should we go?
260
00:12:17,602 --> 00:12:19,968
No, no, we're okay.
It's a double period.
261
00:12:21,239 --> 00:12:25,107
All right. I came here today
because I promised you tuition,
262
00:12:25,610 --> 00:12:27,339
and tuition is
very valuable.
263
00:12:27,411 --> 00:12:30,141
But you know
what's invaluable?
264
00:12:30,214 --> 00:12:32,478
Is intuition.
You know what that is?
265
00:12:33,084 --> 00:12:36,918
That is the ability to know when
something is about to happen.
266
00:12:38,589 --> 00:12:40,580
Does anybody out there
have intuition?
267
00:12:40,658 --> 00:12:42,751
Know what's gonna
happen next?
268
00:12:42,827 --> 00:12:45,625
Nobody? Okay. You're
gonna make me say it.
269
00:12:46,030 --> 00:12:49,989
All right. I am so proud of all of you.
270
00:12:51,836 --> 00:12:55,670
Derrick and Lefervre
and Ben and Ayana
271
00:12:55,740 --> 00:12:59,836
and Mikela and Nikki
and Jason and...
272
00:13:00,278 --> 00:13:02,803
I'm sorry, okay, I'm
sort of spacing your name.
273
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,973
I'm Zion. I'm Mikela's younger brother.
274
00:13:05,049 --> 00:13:07,711
Well, Zion, I am not going
to be paying for your tuition.
275
00:13:11,422 --> 00:13:12,889
Which brings me
to my main point,
276
00:13:12,957 --> 00:13:16,688
and that is that I will not be
able to pay for anybody's tuition.
277
00:13:19,096 --> 00:13:20,723
I'm so, so sorry.
278
00:13:23,601 --> 00:13:24,625
- What?
- You're kidding.
279
00:13:24,702 --> 00:13:26,033
Excuse me?
280
00:13:31,542 --> 00:13:32,873
I'm sorry.
281
00:13:34,212 --> 00:13:36,737
Explain yourself, sir!
282
00:13:36,814 --> 00:13:38,782
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
283
00:13:39,116 --> 00:13:40,140
I'm so sorry.
284
00:13:40,218 --> 00:13:41,344
You lied to us.
285
00:13:42,153 --> 00:13:46,214
Yep. I lied to myself, too.
I'm not a millionaire.
286
00:13:47,191 --> 00:13:50,422
I thought I would be by the time
I was 30, but I wasn't even close,
287
00:13:50,494 --> 00:13:52,860
and then I thought maybe
by the time I was 40,
288
00:13:52,930 --> 00:13:55,797
but by 40 I had less
money than when I was 30.
289
00:13:55,866 --> 00:13:57,493
Maybe by my 50s,
I don't know.
290
00:13:57,568 --> 00:14:00,696
I wanted to pay
for your education.
291
00:14:01,639 --> 00:14:04,574
I really did.
It was my dream.
292
00:14:05,376 --> 00:14:09,312
Some people have evil dreams,
some people have selfish dreams,
293
00:14:09,513 --> 00:14:12,482
or wet dreams. My dream
was in the right place.
294
00:14:12,550 --> 00:14:13,949
You owe this to us.
295
00:14:14,018 --> 00:14:15,815
Okay, hold on. Hold on.
296
00:14:17,088 --> 00:14:20,114
Now, I can't pay
for your college,
297
00:14:20,691 --> 00:14:25,151
but you don't have to go
to class to be in class.
298
00:14:26,364 --> 00:14:29,265
Online courses
are a viable option
299
00:14:29,333 --> 00:14:31,324
to a traditional
college experience,
300
00:14:31,736 --> 00:14:34,000
and the best way to
access those courses
301
00:14:34,071 --> 00:14:37,131
is with your own
personal laptop,
302
00:14:38,276 --> 00:14:41,439
which is rendered
useless without batteries,
303
00:14:41,512 --> 00:14:43,036
and I have one
for each of you.
304
00:14:48,586 --> 00:14:52,386
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold
on, hold on. They're lithium.
305
00:14:57,228 --> 00:15:01,255
Look, there was a big mistake,
obviously, so I will fix it. Okay?
306
00:15:02,199 --> 00:15:03,461
This was
your idea anyway.
307
00:15:03,534 --> 00:15:06,367
Correction.
It was my idea.
308
00:15:06,437 --> 00:15:07,529
Okay.
309
00:15:07,738 --> 00:15:08,966
My idea.
310
00:15:09,373 --> 00:15:12,001
Guys, I'm starting to think
Pam's not even pregnant.
311
00:15:12,076 --> 00:15:15,307
Okay, for the record,
I am pregnant,
312
00:15:15,379 --> 00:15:17,973
and obviously there's been
some kind of a mistake,
313
00:15:18,049 --> 00:15:21,883
so why doesn't Jim just pick the
next highest score on the list
314
00:15:21,952 --> 00:15:23,317
and we'll move on.
315
00:15:23,387 --> 00:15:24,911
Yeah, okay.
That's fair.
316
00:15:24,989 --> 00:15:26,957
Excellent idea, Pam.
Thank you.
317
00:15:27,024 --> 00:15:31,051
That would be employee
number three, which is...
318
00:15:31,329 --> 00:15:32,853
Son of a bitch!
319
00:15:33,831 --> 00:15:35,560
Pam Halpert.
- What?
320
00:15:36,434 --> 00:15:38,265
How is that possible?
321
00:15:38,336 --> 00:15:41,396
No offense, Pam, but how
the hell is that possible?
322
00:15:41,539 --> 00:15:44,804
There must be some reasonable
explanation for this.
323
00:15:44,875 --> 00:15:47,639
Wait, come on.
I didn't miss a day,
324
00:15:47,712 --> 00:15:49,509
I came in early,
I stayed late,
325
00:15:49,714 --> 00:15:51,511
and I doubled my
sales last month.
326
00:15:51,582 --> 00:15:53,743
Oh, really? From what? Two to four?
327
00:15:53,818 --> 00:15:54,876
Yep.
328
00:15:54,985 --> 00:15:57,886
Guys, this isn't some
elaborate scam, okay?
329
00:15:58,222 --> 00:16:01,749
Hi, I have an order here for
a custom cake. Jim Halpert.
330
00:16:01,992 --> 00:16:05,325
Okay. That is me, but
I didn't order the cake.
331
00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:08,293
Look who it is.
332
00:16:11,602 --> 00:16:13,069
He knew all along.
333
00:16:13,137 --> 00:16:14,502
I'm gonna
have some cake.
334
00:16:14,572 --> 00:16:15,664
David Wallace's office.
335
00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:18,709
This is Kevin Malone.
Is David there?
336
00:16:19,343 --> 00:16:22,005
No, he's in his weekly staff
meeting. Can I take a message?
337
00:16:22,079 --> 00:16:28,314
Tell him I'm mad at Jim 'cause
he's asking us to give money to Pam.
338
00:16:28,652 --> 00:16:34,022
This is Stanley Hudson.
Jim Halpert is a menace.
339
00:16:34,091 --> 00:16:39,358
It's Toby Flenderson. Listen, things
are getting really bad down here.
340
00:16:44,602 --> 00:16:46,126
Hey, Mr. Scott.
341
00:16:49,106 --> 00:16:51,404
Erin, can you
give us a second?
342
00:16:52,276 --> 00:16:53,368
That was messed up
what you did.
343
00:16:53,444 --> 00:16:54,968
Yeah, yeah,
I know. I know.
344
00:16:55,045 --> 00:16:56,273
I know, I'm sorry.
345
00:16:56,347 --> 00:16:58,042
Who does something
like that?
346
00:16:58,115 --> 00:16:59,912
Who promises that
to a bunch of kids
347
00:16:59,984 --> 00:17:02,919
and then just doesn't
come through like that?
348
00:17:04,188 --> 00:17:05,280
What can I do?
349
00:17:05,356 --> 00:17:06,948
You could pay
for my college.
350
00:17:07,024 --> 00:17:10,858
I can give you an extra laptop
battery. Not everyone took one.
351
00:17:15,166 --> 00:17:16,690
How about this?
352
00:17:17,334 --> 00:17:22,431
If you can find a way to pay for your
tuition, let me buy your books, okay?
353
00:17:22,506 --> 00:17:23,564
They're expensive.
354
00:17:23,641 --> 00:17:26,610
Yeah, well, I owe you
that at least, right?
355
00:17:26,944 --> 00:17:28,411
It's about $1,000.
356
00:17:28,479 --> 00:17:30,538
Really? Wow.
357
00:17:31,816 --> 00:17:33,181
That's over $200 a year.
358
00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:35,150
No, $1,000 each year.
359
00:17:35,219 --> 00:17:37,881
For... Okay. Okay.
360
00:17:39,523 --> 00:17:43,084
Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna
write four checks for $1,000 each.
361
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:45,321
I'm going to date them
one year apart.
362
00:17:45,396 --> 00:17:47,489
Now, you are to use
one check a year,
363
00:17:47,565 --> 00:17:49,726
and please call me
before you cash the check,
364
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,030
'cause I've got monies to
move around. Yeah, yeah.
365
00:17:52,102 --> 00:17:54,593
Okay? Make it out to my Aunt Rosa.
366
00:17:55,573 --> 00:17:57,473
That's a lot of zeroes.
367
00:18:00,478 --> 00:18:01,502
This is Jim.
368
00:18:01,579 --> 00:18:02,910
Jim, what the hell
is happening there?
369
00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:04,971
Hey, David.
Yes?
370
00:18:05,316 --> 00:18:08,410
So, there was a little bit of
a miscommunication here today.
371
00:18:08,486 --> 00:18:11,114
It's been a little wild,
but I am on it.
372
00:18:11,188 --> 00:18:14,248
Just so I understand, you
started Employee of the Month,
373
00:18:14,325 --> 00:18:15,815
give it to yourself,
374
00:18:15,893 --> 00:18:18,157
then people complain, so
you give it to your wife?
375
00:18:18,229 --> 00:18:19,628
No.
Am I missing something?
376
00:18:19,697 --> 00:18:21,358
I really don't know
how it happened, David.
377
00:18:21,432 --> 00:18:23,332
I know how it happened.
378
00:18:30,808 --> 00:18:33,436
Jim, I bumped you up because I
thought you could make my life easier.
379
00:18:33,511 --> 00:18:37,277
If you can't do that, we're
gonna have a separate discussion.
380
00:18:37,348 --> 00:18:40,442
All right, it will
not happen again. I promise.
381
00:18:42,019 --> 00:18:45,011
I am sorry. I am taking this out on you.
382
00:18:46,657 --> 00:18:47,885
No. But things have been crazy here.
383
00:18:47,958 --> 00:18:50,051
You know I think you're
doing a great job, right?
384
00:18:50,127 --> 00:18:52,459
What? No.
Yeah. Thank you.
385
00:18:53,097 --> 00:18:56,157
Okay. We still
on for dinner this weekend?
386
00:18:56,233 --> 00:18:57,495
What?
Yes.
387
00:18:57,568 --> 00:19:00,059
Okay. See you.
You're kidding me!
388
00:19:00,504 --> 00:19:01,732
Damn it!
389
00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:05,065
Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do
390
00:19:05,142 --> 00:19:07,770
What you gonna do
Make our dreams come true
391
00:19:07,845 --> 00:19:10,541
Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do
392
00:19:10,614 --> 00:19:12,013
Please stop.
393
00:19:13,551 --> 00:19:15,917
Fifteen lives.
394
00:19:17,488 --> 00:19:19,581
I destroyed
15 young lives today.
395
00:19:19,657 --> 00:19:21,124
No.
Yes.
396
00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:24,384
No, there's
financial aid.
397
00:19:26,564 --> 00:19:28,657
They could join
the Army or the Navy.
398
00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:31,098
Maybe...
You're, what, like, 12?
399
00:19:36,073 --> 00:19:38,337
The principal
told me that
400
00:19:38,409 --> 00:19:41,105
90% of Scott's Tots are
on track to graduate,
401
00:19:41,178 --> 00:19:44,375
and that's 35% higher
than the rest of the school,
402
00:19:45,316 --> 00:19:47,477
so I think that if you
hadn't made that promise,
403
00:19:47,551 --> 00:19:49,985
a lot of them
would have dropped out,
404
00:19:50,054 --> 00:19:52,420
which is something to
think about, I think.
405
00:20:01,799 --> 00:20:04,131
I think you're
doing a great job.
406
00:20:04,835 --> 00:20:06,132
Really?
407
00:20:09,139 --> 00:20:10,333
What do you want
from this job,
408
00:20:10,407 --> 00:20:13,672
provided the company
doesn't go out of business?
409
00:20:13,744 --> 00:20:16,474
Well, I've always wondered what it
might be like to be an accountant.
410
00:20:16,547 --> 00:20:17,605
Really?
411
00:20:17,681 --> 00:20:19,046
Yes, but I'm
terrible at math.
412
00:20:19,116 --> 00:20:21,744
Well, you know,
when I hired Kevin,
413
00:20:22,252 --> 00:20:25,551
he was actually applying
for a job in the warehouse.
414
00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:27,717
Seriously?
Yeah.
415
00:20:28,325 --> 00:20:31,021
I just sort of had
a feeling about him.
416
00:20:32,830 --> 00:20:35,060
Have a feeling
about you, too.
417
00:20:38,202 --> 00:20:40,932
Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do
418
00:20:41,005 --> 00:20:43,940
What you gonna do
Make our dreams come true
419
00:20:44,008 --> 00:20:46,875
Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do
420
00:20:46,944 --> 00:20:49,378
What you gonna do
Make our dreams come true
421
00:20:49,446 --> 00:20:50,435
Yeah!
422
00:20:53,984 --> 00:20:55,975
See you
tomorrow, Dwight.
423
00:20:56,053 --> 00:20:57,452
Apparently.
424
00:20:58,322 --> 00:21:01,120
How's it going? Good day? Not now, temp.
425
00:21:01,392 --> 00:21:06,955
Okay. So, listen, I know
about your diabolical plan.
426
00:21:09,099 --> 00:21:13,627
What? Diabolical plan? I
wouldn't even know how to begin...
427
00:21:14,371 --> 00:21:17,135
I found a copy of it
in the copier tray.
428
00:21:17,207 --> 00:21:18,902
So what do you want?
429
00:21:18,976 --> 00:21:20,637
I want the same thing
you want.
430
00:21:20,711 --> 00:21:24,306
I want to take Jim
Halpert down. I want in.