1
00:00:02,950 --> 00:00:05,640
- Could you sign my expense report?
- No way, no how.
2
00:00:05,765 --> 00:00:08,877
Expense reports are a day-to-day item.
That is Jim's now.
3
00:00:09,002 --> 00:00:11,677
I am exclusively big picture, epic.
4
00:00:20,051 --> 00:00:21,051
Sign this.
5
00:00:21,887 --> 00:00:24,189
Where's the "please"?
We're not animals.
6
00:00:24,362 --> 00:00:25,110
Sign it.
7
00:00:25,457 --> 00:00:26,779
Not without a "please."
8
00:00:28,274 --> 00:00:29,031
Idiot.
9
00:00:33,612 --> 00:00:36,535
- I have a complaint about Jim.
- That is not big picture.
10
00:00:37,493 --> 00:00:39,842
I would like to file a huge,
11
00:00:39,967 --> 00:00:42,289
enormous, massive complaint
12
00:00:42,414 --> 00:00:45,339
about the tallest guy in our office.
13
00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:54,220
Jim won't sign my expense report.
14
00:00:54,528 --> 00:00:56,472
That is not... Okay...
15
00:00:56,642 --> 00:00:58,557
- That is day-to-day.
- No, that his huge.
16
00:00:58,727 --> 00:01:01,727
You're trying to trick me.
Get out, get out, get out...
17
00:01:05,525 --> 00:01:08,223
- I'd like to lodge a complaint.
- I'm sorry to hear about that.
18
00:01:08,348 --> 00:01:10,112
- Who is this about?
- You!
19
00:01:10,629 --> 00:01:14,001
Just want to let you know
I take complaints very seriously.
20
00:01:15,112 --> 00:01:17,534
- When did this happen?
- One minute ago.
21
00:01:17,917 --> 00:01:20,160
- And how do you feel?
- Angry.
22
00:01:20,285 --> 00:01:22,332
- All right. Did he hit you?
- No.
23
00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:24,014
- Did you cry?
- No.
24
00:01:24,139 --> 00:01:25,878
- Did you feel like crying?
- No.
25
00:01:26,046 --> 00:01:27,794
I'm gonna write, "held back tears."
26
00:01:28,218 --> 00:01:30,464
Wait, stop writing that.
That is not true.
27
00:01:30,635 --> 00:01:32,774
If you stop crying,
I'll stop writing it.
28
00:01:34,221 --> 00:01:36,471
I deserved that promotion, not Jim.
29
00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:41,870
Makes me want to put him
in a triangle choke hold
30
00:01:41,995 --> 00:01:45,715
and force him down to the ground
and just keep pressing and pressing.
31
00:01:46,733 --> 00:01:49,380
And then flip him over
and then put him in a hammer lock.
32
00:01:49,505 --> 00:01:52,433
And he's gasping, he's panting.
Every last breath.
33
00:01:52,558 --> 00:01:54,355
And the crowd is going crazy.
34
00:01:55,335 --> 00:01:56,835
I emerge victorious!
35
00:01:58,214 --> 00:02:00,911
$18,000 and a chance at the title.
36
00:02:03,103 --> 00:02:04,755
Jim wants you to keep it down.
37
00:02:08,004 --> 00:02:10,464
- Feygnasse Team -
38
00:02:10,632 --> 00:02:13,509
- La Fabrique -
39
00:02:14,093 --> 00:02:16,386
Collioure
mpm
40
00:02:19,349 --> 00:02:21,348
Jarick
41
00:02:23,436 --> 00:02:24,851
do_Ob
42
00:02:26,272 --> 00:02:27,604
Sk0r
43
00:02:28,942 --> 00:02:30,565
yomoy
44
00:02:31,736 --> 00:02:33,695
The Ni.Knight
45
00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:39,910
The Office 6x03
- The Promotion -
46
00:02:40,079 --> 00:02:42,302
Everyone, now would be
a good time to freshen up,
47
00:02:42,427 --> 00:02:45,422
because I'd like everyone to meet
in the conference room in five minutes.
48
00:02:45,547 --> 00:02:48,022
I suggest that you bring a snack,
we may be in there for a while.
49
00:02:49,288 --> 00:02:50,712
Can I talk to you in my office?
50
00:02:51,119 --> 00:02:53,257
Sure, but could I first
talk to you in my office?
51
00:02:57,274 --> 00:02:58,824
Can I also be a boss?
52
00:02:59,306 --> 00:03:02,106
It doesn't take a genius to know
that any organization thrives
53
00:03:02,231 --> 00:03:03,931
when it has two leaders.
54
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:07,387
Go ahead, name a country
that doesn't have two presidents.
55
00:03:07,512 --> 00:03:10,042
A boat that sets sail
without two captains.
56
00:03:10,279 --> 00:03:11,650
Where would catholicism be
57
00:03:11,818 --> 00:03:12,937
without the popes?
58
00:03:13,446 --> 00:03:14,672
I have noticed that...
59
00:03:14,797 --> 00:03:15,640
Welcome.
60
00:03:17,103 --> 00:03:19,960
I've noticed we've been having
a lot of conference room meetings.
61
00:03:20,085 --> 00:03:22,985
And I'm wondering
if perhaps those are a bit...
62
00:03:23,455 --> 00:03:24,490
Disruptive.
63
00:03:24,923 --> 00:03:26,666
I don't think they are.
64
00:03:26,791 --> 00:03:29,082
I think
the meetings are very important.
65
00:03:29,595 --> 00:03:31,084
Maybe we should talk specifics.
66
00:03:31,402 --> 00:03:32,402
Let's do.
67
00:03:33,110 --> 00:03:35,297
Yesterday, we had a meeting
about planets.
68
00:03:36,002 --> 00:03:37,822
Well, to be fair, Jim...
69
00:03:38,446 --> 00:03:39,446
James...
70
00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:41,045
Jimothy...
71
00:03:41,431 --> 00:03:43,121
To be fair, Jimothy, the...
72
00:03:43,246 --> 00:03:45,640
That sounds weird.
Are you okay with being called Jim?
73
00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:46,556
I am.
74
00:03:47,146 --> 00:03:50,496
Jim, to be fair,
the conversation wasn't about planets.
75
00:03:50,749 --> 00:03:54,649
At first, we were talking about
introducing a line of toilet paper.
76
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:57,986
And what part of the human body
does one use toilet paper upon?
77
00:03:59,491 --> 00:04:02,228
So you draw a line from there
to the other planets,
78
00:04:02,353 --> 00:04:05,619
and I think by the end, we all learned
a little bit about how small we are.
79
00:04:05,789 --> 00:04:08,263
- Yes, I agree...
- Because it's a big universe,
80
00:04:08,388 --> 00:04:11,333
and we're all just little,
tiny specks of dust.
81
00:04:11,765 --> 00:04:15,070
I just think that maybe
they're eating large amounts of the day.
82
00:04:15,195 --> 00:04:17,423
You know what eats
a large amount of the day are naps.
83
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:19,707
You go to sleep, it's light out,
you wake up, it's dark.
84
00:04:19,832 --> 00:04:22,406
That's the whole day.
Where did that day go?
85
00:04:22,531 --> 00:04:23,781
I have no idea.
86
00:04:24,614 --> 00:04:25,987
You mean on a weekend.
87
00:04:29,776 --> 00:04:31,407
I think our goal should be
88
00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:34,856
we don't have meetings
unless they're absolutely essential.
89
00:04:35,716 --> 00:04:37,894
- No more meetings this week.
- Really?
90
00:04:38,534 --> 00:04:41,530
- You just agree to that?
- I can be very surprising.
91
00:04:48,394 --> 00:04:49,412
What's going on?
92
00:04:49,717 --> 00:04:52,017
I need to fit into my wedding dress.
93
00:04:52,797 --> 00:04:54,647
However, I'm also pregnant.
94
00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:01,927
It's a myth that women have to gain
more than nine pounds in a pregnancy?
95
00:05:02,095 --> 00:05:04,137
Look at these actresses.
Some of them lose weight.
96
00:05:06,870 --> 00:05:09,015
Did you guys register
for wedding gifts?
97
00:05:09,186 --> 00:05:12,086
We did,
but mostly because people expect us to.
98
00:05:13,058 --> 00:05:15,273
We're also accepting other gifts...
99
00:05:15,441 --> 00:05:17,041
not on the registry...
100
00:05:18,808 --> 00:05:19,958
However much.
101
00:05:20,306 --> 00:05:24,106
It's awkward asking people for money,
but we could really use it.
102
00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:27,350
Why doesn't Crate & Barrel
let you register
103
00:05:27,475 --> 00:05:29,562
for a toaster full of cash?
104
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,663
Perfect. I hate registries.
105
00:05:31,946 --> 00:05:32,749
Good.
106
00:05:32,918 --> 00:05:36,252
My cousin makes the most amazing,
romantic birdhouse mailboxes.
107
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,671
I know I shouldn't tell you,
but you'll still be surprised.
108
00:05:40,189 --> 00:05:41,841
You're not registered
for a birdhouse?
109
00:05:42,584 --> 00:05:43,758
No, we're not.
110
00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:44,863
Good.
111
00:05:53,199 --> 00:05:55,599
Okay,
I thought I saw people missing.
112
00:05:56,149 --> 00:05:58,440
Just focus-grouping
a product expansion idea to these folks.
113
00:05:59,045 --> 00:06:00,483
- Got one of each.
- Really?
114
00:06:00,653 --> 00:06:03,653
Stanley, what was the last thing
Michael said before I came?
115
00:06:03,823 --> 00:06:05,360
You don't need to answer that.
116
00:06:06,242 --> 00:06:08,435
"If you don't smell this,
you're fired."
117
00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,536
I thought we agreed to not take up
people's time with meetings like these.
118
00:06:11,904 --> 00:06:14,154
What do you mean by "these people"?
119
00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:17,044
This is a conference room meeting.
120
00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:19,413
Everybody,
I think that Jim has gone insane,
121
00:06:19,538 --> 00:06:22,380
because he thinks
that my office is a conference room.
122
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:24,007
That's not what I meant.
123
00:06:24,177 --> 00:06:26,513
No offense,
but when push comes to shove,
124
00:06:26,638 --> 00:06:29,222
what I want is more important
than what you want.
125
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:31,224
- I disagree.
- What do you guys think?
126
00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:33,110
Can I go back to my desk now?
127
00:06:33,235 --> 00:06:35,353
Great. Guys, can I just have
a moment with Michael?
128
00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:38,563
You don't need to go anywhere.
Anything that Jim has to say to me,
129
00:06:38,688 --> 00:06:40,942
he can say
in front of these types of people.
130
00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:42,798
That is not what I said,
131
00:06:42,923 --> 00:06:44,435
and, also, I am co-manager,
132
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,822
meaning you are not the only manager.
I am also a co-manager.
133
00:06:47,992 --> 00:06:50,369
- That's not what Wallace told.
- That's exactly what he told.
134
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,318
That is not the way I heard it.
135
00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,167
I love rivalries...
136
00:06:54,292 --> 00:06:57,142
Michael or Jim,
Paris or Nicole, Heidi or L.C.
137
00:06:57,424 --> 00:06:58,554
It's so much fun.
138
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,967
But I guess
if I'm really thinking about it
139
00:07:01,092 --> 00:07:02,958
and answering
your question honestly,
140
00:07:03,083 --> 00:07:04,518
I'd have to go with L.C.
141
00:07:04,643 --> 00:07:07,493
Heidi's a bad friend,
and her skin is terrible.
142
00:07:07,618 --> 00:07:10,474
It is one thing,
me giving you the co-manager title.
143
00:07:10,599 --> 00:07:13,014
It is another thing,
you bossing me around.
144
00:07:13,184 --> 00:07:14,858
I'm not. I'm trying to do my job,
145
00:07:14,983 --> 00:07:18,186
which is sharing your job,
so maybe we should just call David.
146
00:07:18,936 --> 00:07:21,675
No, we will not call David Wallace.
I will call David Wallace.
147
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,964
David Wallace
is on line two for you guys.
148
00:07:24,089 --> 00:07:26,319
Or Davidwill call us on line two.
Why don't we just...
149
00:07:27,029 --> 00:07:28,990
Hey, David.
You got Jim here.
150
00:07:29,159 --> 00:07:31,038
This is Michael, senior co-manager.
151
00:07:31,163 --> 00:07:32,163
Hey, guys,
152
00:07:32,907 --> 00:07:35,647
I'm calling, because, unfortunately,
153
00:07:36,202 --> 00:07:38,862
we will not be able
to give out cost of living raises
154
00:07:38,987 --> 00:07:40,792
this year,
and I know people expect it.
155
00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:44,921
However, there just is only
a small amount of money for each branch,
156
00:07:45,091 --> 00:07:48,332
so we're leaving it up to the managers
to decide how to distribute it.
157
00:07:48,457 --> 00:07:49,559
Got it, Dave.
158
00:07:49,684 --> 00:07:52,534
Sounds like
your classic big-picture decision.
159
00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:55,352
Which will clearly affect
the day-to-day well-being of employees.
160
00:07:55,477 --> 00:07:57,889
- It's probably a little of both.
- Which is it more of?
161
00:07:58,014 --> 00:07:58,977
Excuse me?
162
00:07:59,147 --> 00:08:02,259
I know that I'm very new at this,
but I have a very good perspective.
163
00:08:02,418 --> 00:08:04,325
Wait, I'm sorry.
Michael, are you...
164
00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:05,692
Are you texting me?
165
00:08:07,169 --> 00:08:09,294
I thought maybe
we could talk after this is over.
166
00:08:09,419 --> 00:08:11,466
Look, I need you both
to take care of this.
167
00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:13,736
This is not going to be
a problem, is it?
168
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,996
- Nope, not at all.
- No, it will not be.
169
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:17,204
I am on top of it.
170
00:08:17,616 --> 00:08:19,332
- Thanks a lot.
- Talk to you later.
171
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,550
You didn't let me say good-bye.
172
00:08:22,993 --> 00:08:25,086
All right,
I am looking forward to this.
173
00:08:25,717 --> 00:08:28,423
- You don't have to lie.
- I hate that we have to do this.
174
00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:30,982
I think
we work much better separately.
175
00:08:31,107 --> 00:08:34,721
When I am irritated and I look at you,
I don't see you anymore.
176
00:08:35,652 --> 00:08:36,681
All I can see
177
00:08:36,851 --> 00:08:38,767
is how big and gross
the pores on your nose are.
178
00:08:39,147 --> 00:08:40,026
All right.
179
00:08:40,151 --> 00:08:41,354
Let's get started.
180
00:08:50,482 --> 00:08:52,530
Hey, why haven't we ever...
181
00:08:52,916 --> 00:08:53,916
We have.
182
00:08:58,170 --> 00:09:00,914
There's no easy way to do this.
I say...
183
00:09:01,039 --> 00:09:04,709
we add 1.5% to their paychecks
and don't say anything about it.
184
00:09:05,217 --> 00:09:07,250
Like break in
in the middle of the night
185
00:09:07,375 --> 00:09:10,106
- and change the numbers on payroll?
- We can do it during the day.
186
00:09:10,231 --> 00:09:11,841
It doesn't have to be that dramatic.
187
00:09:13,213 --> 00:09:15,208
You know what would help is
188
00:09:15,333 --> 00:09:17,597
a pros and cons list
for our options.
189
00:09:18,139 --> 00:09:20,683
Don't take this the wrong way.
Are you gonna take this the wrong way?
190
00:09:21,642 --> 00:09:24,104
- It's hard to tell so far.
- You use your brain too much.
191
00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,022
Are you advocating
that I use it less?
192
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:29,192
Sometimes the smartest people
don't think at all.
193
00:09:29,368 --> 00:09:31,861
- You just came up with that.
- As I was saying it.
194
00:09:32,595 --> 00:09:35,726
Okay, so for the 1.5% increase, pro:
195
00:09:35,851 --> 00:09:37,158
everyone gets a little bit.
196
00:09:37,336 --> 00:09:38,993
Con: you look like a nerd.
197
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:41,788
Con: no one gets
as much as they did last year.
198
00:09:41,965 --> 00:09:45,159
Pro: you get to share your list
with the other nerds.
199
00:09:45,284 --> 00:09:47,127
Pro: no favoritism.
200
00:09:47,303 --> 00:09:49,405
Con: you unzip your pants,
201
00:09:49,530 --> 00:09:51,923
and you find
that there's a calculator down there.
202
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:55,143
I've been studying Michael
for years,
203
00:09:55,268 --> 00:09:58,314
and I've condensed
what I've learned into this chart.
204
00:09:58,439 --> 00:10:00,023
How Michael spends his time.
205
00:10:00,148 --> 00:10:02,908
As you can see, we have
procrastinating and distracting others,
206
00:10:03,033 --> 00:10:05,933
and this tiny sliver here
is critical thinking.
207
00:10:07,359 --> 00:10:09,529
I made it bigger,
so that you could see it.
208
00:10:12,983 --> 00:10:16,197
I heard that you were registered,
but I didn't hear where.
209
00:10:16,641 --> 00:10:19,357
I don't think
we registered anywhere.
210
00:10:20,665 --> 00:10:22,065
We just want cash.
211
00:10:22,517 --> 00:10:23,567
Like money?
212
00:10:25,419 --> 00:10:26,666
You want my money?
213
00:10:28,287 --> 00:10:29,711
Will you take a check?
214
00:10:31,723 --> 00:10:32,491
Cool.
215
00:10:35,063 --> 00:10:37,594
In the memo line, I'm gonna write,
216
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:40,180
"To love's eternal glory. "
217
00:10:42,718 --> 00:10:43,975
Wait till Monday.
218
00:10:45,487 --> 00:10:46,914
Is this what I've become?
219
00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:48,781
Materialistic?
220
00:10:49,299 --> 00:10:50,299
Shallow?
221
00:10:51,175 --> 00:10:52,475
I feel horrible.
222
00:10:53,561 --> 00:10:54,331
Look!
223
00:10:54,638 --> 00:10:56,088
"Mrs. Pam Halpert!"
224
00:10:57,267 --> 00:10:59,843
That's the first time
I've seen it in writing.
225
00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:04,168
You know, the more I think about it,
the more I think,
226
00:11:04,293 --> 00:11:06,026
we should give it to the salesmen.
227
00:11:06,151 --> 00:11:09,135
- That will not go over well.
- I know. I just think it seems smart
228
00:11:09,260 --> 00:11:10,876
to keep the salesmen happy.
229
00:11:11,001 --> 00:11:13,253
Of course I know
that this might come off as biased,
230
00:11:13,378 --> 00:11:15,798
so you know what?
Let us...
231
00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:18,262
Are you gonna make
another pro and con list?
232
00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:20,687
- I'm gonna kill myself.
- I'm not gonna stop thinking.
233
00:11:21,152 --> 00:11:22,638
I could not do that, Jim.
234
00:11:22,763 --> 00:11:24,856
I can see it
in your crusty little eyes
235
00:11:24,981 --> 00:11:27,117
that you are going to make
everything perfect.
236
00:11:27,242 --> 00:11:29,392
If I can just think this through,
237
00:11:30,055 --> 00:11:32,339
if I could just think it
exactly right,
238
00:11:32,856 --> 00:11:34,789
I can make this perfect.
239
00:11:35,657 --> 00:11:37,391
Then I can go down every avenue,
240
00:11:37,516 --> 00:11:39,113
every avenue off of that avenue,
241
00:11:39,779 --> 00:11:41,245
and then another avenue.
242
00:11:41,370 --> 00:11:43,535
- And then another...
- You've a lot of strengths.
243
00:11:43,711 --> 00:11:45,452
I do? Tell me what they are.
244
00:11:45,671 --> 00:11:47,254
I think that you are able
245
00:11:47,379 --> 00:11:49,624
to take constructive criticism
very well.
246
00:11:50,514 --> 00:11:52,543
That...
I am not known for that.
247
00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:54,337
There is a reason why I'm here.
248
00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:56,589
You went over my head to Wallace.
249
00:11:56,765 --> 00:11:58,925
It's because you also have
a lot of weaknesses.
250
00:11:59,862 --> 00:12:03,846
Why don't you tell me what those are?
Why don't you enliven me?
251
00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:06,015
You're not good
at making tough decisions.
252
00:12:07,049 --> 00:12:08,375
At thinking out the options,
253
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:10,544
and then stating that decision
very clearly,
254
00:12:10,669 --> 00:12:12,438
especially when
it's an unpopular decision.
255
00:12:12,615 --> 00:12:14,348
Here's a tough decision for you.
256
00:12:14,473 --> 00:12:17,508
You suck. You suck.
Is that clear enough for you?
257
00:12:17,828 --> 00:12:18,806
Maybe,
258
00:12:19,169 --> 00:12:20,725
I'm here for a reason,
259
00:12:20,850 --> 00:12:22,782
because I might have
some good ideas, too.
260
00:12:23,128 --> 00:12:25,159
I've been sitting out there,
learning a lot,
261
00:12:25,336 --> 00:12:27,094
and maybe I can just bring something
262
00:12:27,219 --> 00:12:28,454
different to the table.
263
00:12:28,631 --> 00:12:29,938
OK, Skippy, here we go.
264
00:12:30,063 --> 00:12:32,959
Why don't you run yourself
out there and tell them?
265
00:12:33,982 --> 00:12:35,162
You call it.
266
00:12:41,432 --> 00:12:43,024
This had better be terrible.
267
00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:45,785
Could I have everyone's attention?
I have some tough news,
268
00:12:45,910 --> 00:12:47,963
so I'm gonna give it
to you straight.
269
00:12:48,088 --> 00:12:50,821
Truth is, we only have
so much money for raises this year,
270
00:12:50,946 --> 00:12:53,896
so the simple fact is some people
will get raises and some people won't.
271
00:12:54,519 --> 00:12:55,898
Now, what we've decided is,
272
00:12:56,075 --> 00:12:58,526
we are gonna give those raises
to the sales staff.
273
00:12:58,927 --> 00:13:00,194
Wait. Seriously?
274
00:13:01,098 --> 00:13:03,307
You guys are smart,
so I'm just leveling with you.
275
00:13:03,432 --> 00:13:06,167
- I'm trying to treat you like adults.
- Thank you, Jim, for...
276
00:13:06,696 --> 00:13:08,328
thinking that we're smart people.
277
00:13:08,504 --> 00:13:10,170
But I do not understand.
278
00:13:10,295 --> 00:13:13,249
If we're such smart adults,
then why don't we get raises?
279
00:13:13,669 --> 00:13:16,940
Excellent question, genius.
'Cause Jim wants to give the raises
280
00:13:17,065 --> 00:13:18,880
to his friends
and the people he sleeps with.
281
00:13:19,456 --> 00:13:21,104
Easy. That's not it at all.
282
00:13:21,229 --> 00:13:24,467
Really what it is is about the money
the sales staff brings into the office.
283
00:13:24,592 --> 00:13:26,728
- What's going on?
- Jim is only giving raises
284
00:13:26,853 --> 00:13:28,093
to the salesmen.
285
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,892
- Why are you being such a jerk?
- Hold on, kelly.
286
00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:33,881
Would it help you to know
that Jim thinks you're smart?
287
00:13:34,435 --> 00:13:36,472
How is that gonna repair Ryan's car?
288
00:13:36,597 --> 00:13:38,900
This is ridiculous!
How could he do this to us?
289
00:13:39,428 --> 00:13:41,277
You know what?
You'd be getting the raise...
290
00:13:41,581 --> 00:13:44,030
What about all these people?
How is it fair to them?
291
00:13:45,564 --> 00:13:48,603
We work as hard as the sales people.
We deserve raises.
292
00:13:49,178 --> 00:13:50,900
They don't get 'em
if we don't get 'em.
293
00:13:51,025 --> 00:13:52,605
My kid needs shoes!
294
00:13:52,730 --> 00:13:55,015
You want to tell him
he doesn't get shoes?
295
00:13:55,140 --> 00:13:56,759
Her kid needs shoes, Jim!
296
00:13:57,236 --> 00:13:58,260
What the hell?
297
00:14:01,806 --> 00:14:03,006
I'm just gonna
298
00:14:03,304 --> 00:14:04,304
rewind
299
00:14:04,863 --> 00:14:06,712
and back off a bit.
300
00:14:15,192 --> 00:14:16,392
That was good.
301
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:17,660
That was good.
302
00:14:17,785 --> 00:14:18,832
Okay, all right.
303
00:14:18,957 --> 00:14:21,401
Well, we all know
it's hard to be a boss, right?
304
00:14:21,727 --> 00:14:23,820
You know what?
Look around you.
305
00:14:24,267 --> 00:14:26,045
These are your best friends.
306
00:14:26,170 --> 00:14:27,670
These are the people
307
00:14:27,795 --> 00:14:30,827
who will open their hearts to you.
308
00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:32,662
They all have
309
00:14:32,984 --> 00:14:35,123
heart-ons for you,
310
00:14:35,856 --> 00:14:37,306
and that is a gift.
311
00:14:38,060 --> 00:14:39,459
So in terms of gifts,
312
00:14:39,584 --> 00:14:41,492
we should be giving
each other gifts.
313
00:14:41,617 --> 00:14:44,966
Angela, yes,
lend Oscar a cup of sugar.
314
00:14:45,142 --> 00:14:46,884
What are you talking about?
315
00:14:47,061 --> 00:14:49,443
We just need to hear
your plan for our raise.
316
00:14:49,568 --> 00:14:50,396
My plan...
317
00:14:51,846 --> 00:14:53,490
A man... Panama.
318
00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:57,395
- That's not how that goes.
- You're not saying anything.
319
00:14:57,571 --> 00:14:58,938
At least, Jim was direct
320
00:14:59,234 --> 00:15:01,232
when he was telling us
his dumbass plan.
321
00:15:01,673 --> 00:15:02,887
What's happening?
322
00:15:03,012 --> 00:15:05,361
Are we getting a raise, yes or no?
323
00:15:05,537 --> 00:15:07,655
Let me get this clear.
Does everybody want a raise?
324
00:15:08,670 --> 00:15:10,615
All right, everyone wants a raise.
325
00:15:10,740 --> 00:15:13,426
What we're going to do
is go into here,
326
00:15:13,551 --> 00:15:15,496
and we will not come out
until we do.
327
00:15:16,167 --> 00:15:17,498
That gives us no information.
328
00:15:17,674 --> 00:15:20,674
This isn't a game, you know?
It's our livelihood!
329
00:15:23,711 --> 00:15:25,629
What about a raise based on merit?
330
00:15:26,810 --> 00:15:28,810
Rank each person individually.
331
00:15:29,113 --> 00:15:30,313
Piece of cake.
332
00:15:30,549 --> 00:15:33,026
- Ryan, obviously the best.
- Well, obviously.
333
00:15:33,151 --> 00:15:35,341
Too bad he's a temp, he doesn't count.
Let's get started.
334
00:15:35,466 --> 00:15:36,982
Are you making a...
335
00:15:37,107 --> 00:15:38,807
I'm numbering the paper.
336
00:15:39,023 --> 00:15:40,585
- Just...
- I don't understand
337
00:15:40,710 --> 00:15:42,515
how they can even consider
338
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:45,470
giving money to some people
and not the rest of us.
339
00:15:45,595 --> 00:15:47,259
We're not gonna see the checks.
340
00:15:47,384 --> 00:15:49,795
- We're in accounting.
- I am so pissed at this company.
341
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:50,920
And Jim.
342
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:53,532
Who said that?
343
00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:55,394
I think it was Creed.
344
00:16:01,039 --> 00:16:02,762
It's going really well, actually.
345
00:16:02,887 --> 00:16:05,616
Each Boston Baked Bean
represents half a percent raise,
346
00:16:05,741 --> 00:16:08,798
we each got 24 beans,
so the idea is you place the bean
347
00:16:09,195 --> 00:16:11,892
on the picture of
who you think deserv...
348
00:16:12,017 --> 00:16:12,941
Who's that?
349
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:16,597
- He's not a part of this.
- Just wanted to draw a picture of him.
350
00:16:17,902 --> 00:16:20,333
- Your move.
- All right, who to pick?
351
00:16:21,434 --> 00:16:23,316
- Who to pick?
- Here we go.
352
00:16:23,726 --> 00:16:24,726
I...
353
00:16:26,066 --> 00:16:27,191
will skip a turn.
354
00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:29,777
You're gonna still have
to play that bean.
355
00:16:29,949 --> 00:16:31,203
I need more time.
356
00:16:38,151 --> 00:16:41,539
Wallace sent an e-mail about a meeting.
He wants you both to respond.
357
00:16:59,516 --> 00:17:02,286
People are starting
to notice how terrible Jim is.
358
00:17:02,757 --> 00:17:03,807
It's great.
359
00:17:04,108 --> 00:17:06,300
Eventually,
they'll rise up and revolt.
360
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:09,396
My only hope is that
they do it sooner rather than later.
361
00:17:09,521 --> 00:17:11,571
If the people here
were our founding fathers,
362
00:17:11,696 --> 00:17:14,518
the Revolutionary War
would have been delayed ten years,
363
00:17:14,643 --> 00:17:17,115
because Stanley Washington
was napping,
364
00:17:18,690 --> 00:17:21,832
Phyllis Hancock
was still signing the declaration,
365
00:17:23,012 --> 00:17:26,024
Kevin Jefferson
was distracted by a butterfly.
366
00:17:26,547 --> 00:17:27,552
Come on in.
367
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,330
That's right.
368
00:17:29,455 --> 00:17:30,796
Come in, feast your eyes.
369
00:17:31,230 --> 00:17:33,064
They determine our worth
370
00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:35,734
by putting beans upon our faces.
371
00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:39,347
Things were not this bad
when just Michael was manager.
372
00:17:39,518 --> 00:17:41,740
- What are you doing?
- What does a bean mean?
373
00:17:41,865 --> 00:17:43,267
Why aren't there any beans
374
00:17:43,435 --> 00:17:46,285
on this very old,
frizzy-haired picture of me?
375
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:48,232
What does a bean mean?
376
00:17:50,138 --> 00:17:52,693
- I was trying to be unbiased.
- What does a bean mean?
377
00:17:52,865 --> 00:17:54,831
- Please explain it to Kevin.
- Why can't you?
378
00:17:54,956 --> 00:17:58,159
- My time is valuable as yours.
- Not according to the beans.
379
00:17:58,284 --> 00:18:00,284
This is how you make
this important decision?
380
00:18:00,744 --> 00:18:01,944
There's no way
381
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:05,016
that Stanley gets more beans than me.
That is ridiculous.
382
00:18:06,265 --> 00:18:07,815
This is how it works.
383
00:18:08,214 --> 00:18:10,253
It's not so much
that I might not get a raise.
384
00:18:10,424 --> 00:18:11,591
It's just demeaning.
385
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,948
Thank you.
That is exactly...
386
00:18:14,304 --> 00:18:16,866
By the way,
I would also like a raise.
387
00:18:16,991 --> 00:18:18,213
I would, too.
388
00:18:18,579 --> 00:18:19,958
Are we idiots?
389
00:18:22,745 --> 00:18:25,609
What right
does Jim have to claim authority?
390
00:18:26,285 --> 00:18:28,271
Is he as good a salesman as I?
391
00:18:28,557 --> 00:18:29,557
Is he as
392
00:18:29,819 --> 00:18:31,315
matronly as Phyllis?
393
00:18:31,912 --> 00:18:35,268
There are moments
where we can affect change.
394
00:18:36,153 --> 00:18:38,485
For a few seconds, every decade,
395
00:18:39,367 --> 00:18:40,504
we exist,
396
00:18:41,477 --> 00:18:44,537
and these are those seconds.
Let us storm his castle.
397
00:18:44,708 --> 00:18:46,204
Come on... Tick.
398
00:18:46,909 --> 00:18:48,356
Let's get him... Tock.
399
00:18:49,184 --> 00:18:50,379
Let's get Jim!
400
00:18:50,715 --> 00:18:51,535
Tick.
401
00:18:52,013 --> 00:18:54,077
And drag Jim out of his office...
Tock.
402
00:18:54,202 --> 00:18:55,631
Take his keys away from him.
403
00:18:55,803 --> 00:18:57,633
Tick... That's a clock.
404
00:18:57,805 --> 00:18:59,552
The time is getting very close.
405
00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:00,970
It's now or never.
406
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:02,402
What say you?
407
00:19:04,046 --> 00:19:05,057
I say no.
408
00:19:05,229 --> 00:19:07,768
No, I mean,
what do you say to my plan?
409
00:19:16,343 --> 00:19:18,060
What does a bean mean?
410
00:19:22,692 --> 00:19:23,744
How you doing?
411
00:19:24,727 --> 00:19:27,255
On a scale of one to ten,
I'd say I'm about a four.
412
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:29,326
What are you usually?
413
00:19:29,451 --> 00:19:30,294
Six.
414
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:31,167
You?
415
00:19:31,533 --> 00:19:34,007
Usually a ten,
but I'm feeling like a zero.
416
00:19:34,675 --> 00:19:37,423
A performance-based raise
sounded like a good idea, right?
417
00:19:37,595 --> 00:19:39,091
I know, I know.
418
00:19:39,263 --> 00:19:40,718
We tried to find the fairest way.
419
00:19:40,890 --> 00:19:41,844
Yes, we did.
420
00:19:46,567 --> 00:19:47,433
What?
421
00:19:49,776 --> 00:19:51,176
Nothing. I just...
422
00:19:51,301 --> 00:19:53,281
I used to have to do
this part alone,
423
00:19:53,406 --> 00:19:54,956
and it was the worst.
424
00:19:58,170 --> 00:19:59,945
I've something
I would like to give you.
425
00:20:03,893 --> 00:20:06,082
Michael's my only friend left
in the office.
426
00:20:07,408 --> 00:20:08,617
Except Pam...
427
00:20:10,081 --> 00:20:11,020
I think.
428
00:20:11,930 --> 00:20:13,158
Is she still upset?
429
00:20:15,026 --> 00:20:17,429
You cannot
just keep avoiding us like this!
430
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:22,870
You're welcome.
431
00:20:25,138 --> 00:20:26,230
What's in here?
432
00:20:46,841 --> 00:20:48,419
Just pretend we're not here.
433
00:20:51,637 --> 00:20:53,335
You're looking for cash
for the wedding?
434
00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:55,629
I mean,
if it's all the same for you.
435
00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:58,754
Question for you.
Would you guys rather have $100 now
436
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:01,092
or $5,000 a year from now?
437
00:21:01,262 --> 00:21:02,660
$100 now for sure.
438
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,252
'Cause you just give me $50
to cover the broker fee,
439
00:21:05,377 --> 00:21:07,879
I put in 100 of my own money
as the gift...
440
00:21:09,728 --> 00:21:11,478
The hundred.
I'll just take the hundred.
441
00:21:12,458 --> 00:21:14,439
Instead of $5,000 a year from now?
442
00:21:16,354 --> 00:21:17,704
How sure is this?
443
00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:19,473
The guy has an algorithm
444
00:21:19,598 --> 00:21:23,281
to determine the winner
of any given college basketball game.
445
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:30,690
Don't tell Jim.