1 00:00:01,750 --> 00:00:03,003 That's no problem. 2 00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:04,578 - Hang up. - Sure. 3 00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:06,881 - Knock, knock. - On the phone. 4 00:00:07,049 --> 00:00:09,641 - I know you are. Knock, knock. - You can fax it over. 5 00:00:09,933 --> 00:00:11,133 Yeah, 5-7-0... 6 00:00:11,967 --> 00:00:13,467 - 5-5... - 5-9-1... 7 00:00:14,020 --> 00:00:15,420 - 0-1... - 7-4... 8 00:00:15,831 --> 00:00:17,481 - 7-5. - "Flive-ling." 9 00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:19,344 0-1-7-5. 10 00:00:22,526 --> 00:00:24,190 That makes us look unprofessional. 11 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,609 They would never know it was me. Here we go. 12 00:00:28,215 --> 00:00:29,315 Who's there? 13 00:00:29,842 --> 00:00:31,280 - Buddha. - Buddha who? 14 00:00:31,570 --> 00:00:33,870 Buddha this bread for me, won't you? 15 00:00:36,192 --> 00:00:36,994 Great. 16 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:38,996 I need something to wipe my hand. 17 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:40,998 There's butter on my desk. 18 00:00:41,306 --> 00:00:43,349 - A classic. - I got a knock-knock joke. 19 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:45,544 Michael, please? 20 00:00:46,608 --> 00:00:47,755 Please let me. 21 00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:50,716 - Who's there? - KGB. 22 00:00:51,146 --> 00:00:53,386 - KG... - We will ask the questions. 23 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:54,929 What the hell was that? 24 00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:56,806 What are you doing? 25 00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,891 - Stop that. Come on. - You like that? 26 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,143 What are you doing? Mine was part of a joke! 27 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,771 Mine was retribution. No more knock-knock jokes. 28 00:01:04,284 --> 00:01:05,648 - That's it. - Ding-dong. 29 00:01:06,543 --> 00:01:08,143 - Who's there? - KGB. 30 00:01:09,134 --> 00:01:11,445 - Dwight, get the door. - I'm not answering the door. 31 00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:13,322 - It's the KGB. - You get it. 32 00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:15,171 I'm not answering. You answer it. 33 00:01:15,296 --> 00:01:17,389 - I'm not gonna answer it. - It's the KGB! 34 00:01:17,514 --> 00:01:19,464 The KGB will wait for no one. 35 00:01:22,915 --> 00:01:23,915 It's true. 36 00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:27,086 Subtitles: - Feygnasse Team - 37 00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:30,131 Synch: Jarick & Collioure Proofreading: So. & Valpi 38 00:01:43,230 --> 00:01:45,187 Episode 5x17 "Golden Ticket" 39 00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:51,449 Good morning, Michael. 40 00:01:53,210 --> 00:01:54,530 I am not Michael. 41 00:01:54,769 --> 00:01:57,211 I am Willy Wonka! 42 00:01:59,263 --> 00:02:01,145 Good morning, Mr. Wonka. Your messages. 43 00:02:01,270 --> 00:02:03,205 Thank you very much. What are those? 44 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:04,665 Tell me please! 45 00:02:04,980 --> 00:02:06,080 Jelly beans. 46 00:02:06,674 --> 00:02:09,401 They are not just ordinary jelly beans, little girl. 47 00:02:10,317 --> 00:02:13,602 These are extraordinary jelly beans! 48 00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:17,641 The Willy Wonka golden ticket promotional idea 49 00:02:17,766 --> 00:02:20,316 is probably the best idea I've ever had. 50 00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:22,975 It's probably the best idea anybody has ever had. 51 00:02:23,306 --> 00:02:24,526 Three days ago, 52 00:02:24,651 --> 00:02:26,977 I slipped five pieces of gold paper 53 00:02:27,102 --> 00:02:28,662 into random paper shipments. 54 00:02:28,787 --> 00:02:31,901 This entitles the customer to 10% off of their total order. 55 00:02:32,507 --> 00:02:33,444 It will be... 56 00:02:33,767 --> 00:02:36,394 a day for them that is full of whimsy 57 00:02:36,899 --> 00:02:38,491 and full of excitement 58 00:02:38,884 --> 00:02:40,384 and full of fantasy. 59 00:02:41,942 --> 00:02:45,039 I have written these things because it is my responsibility 60 00:02:45,422 --> 00:02:46,874 as manager of this branch 61 00:02:47,088 --> 00:02:49,627 to "profiligate" great ideas, 62 00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:53,255 and I think I've done my part with the golden ticket promotion. 63 00:02:53,559 --> 00:02:54,965 Now it is your turn. 64 00:02:55,090 --> 00:02:57,478 I want to hear some great ideas from you 65 00:02:57,603 --> 00:02:59,603 that are just as good as mine. 66 00:03:01,350 --> 00:03:04,266 We own our own delivery trucks. We could lease them out on the weekends. 67 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:06,695 Too many words. Good ideas are simple... 68 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,020 Golden ticket. 69 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,563 Free... paper. 70 00:03:09,875 --> 00:03:11,405 Jim, we're a business. 71 00:03:11,530 --> 00:03:14,026 Post-its. That is a golden ticket idea. 72 00:03:14,346 --> 00:03:15,813 NASA took five 73 00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:18,405 or six golden ticket ideas to get men on the Moon. 74 00:03:18,685 --> 00:03:19,935 Golden Girls... 75 00:03:20,985 --> 00:03:24,535 That's a golden ticket idea, right? How great was that show. 76 00:03:24,703 --> 00:03:25,788 Golden Grahams, 77 00:03:26,052 --> 00:03:27,052 another... 78 00:03:27,177 --> 00:03:28,177 Is it... 79 00:03:29,349 --> 00:03:30,465 I don't get this. 80 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:31,994 No, you don't. 81 00:03:34,224 --> 00:03:35,960 What will be... 82 00:03:36,322 --> 00:03:38,797 the state of this company if I am the only one 83 00:03:38,922 --> 00:03:41,322 coming up with the great ideas, right? 84 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,563 I think I should call her. 85 00:03:48,425 --> 00:03:50,229 Why is it so bad for me to call 86 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,247 and ask her to lunch today? 87 00:03:53,915 --> 00:03:55,720 You're making it too easy for her. 88 00:03:55,845 --> 00:03:59,321 You're just conveying, "I like you just the way you are." 89 00:03:59,713 --> 00:04:01,728 But I do like her just the way she is. 90 00:04:01,853 --> 00:04:03,742 That's not what we agreed on. 91 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,951 What are you doing? Why don't you go on a date with her? 92 00:04:07,076 --> 00:04:08,976 Try to spark up an ongoing joke, 93 00:04:09,101 --> 00:04:11,635 and then in a month or two, if it feels right, you'll know. 94 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,359 You don't have to wait that long. 95 00:04:13,484 --> 00:04:15,959 You don't have to wait a month to ask her out. 96 00:04:16,392 --> 00:04:17,214 Ask her. 97 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,592 You're asking him to give up all of his power. 98 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:20,702 What power? 99 00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:23,149 Andy, Pam and Jim 100 00:04:23,776 --> 00:04:27,226 are all telling me how to deal with this girl that I like. 101 00:04:28,515 --> 00:04:32,229 I don't like getting advice from more than one person at a time. 102 00:04:32,585 --> 00:04:34,485 I'm a textbook over-thinker. 103 00:04:35,311 --> 00:04:38,061 You can't let a girl feel good about herself. 104 00:04:38,186 --> 00:04:39,486 It will backfire on you. 105 00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:41,549 Every compliment has to be backhanded. 106 00:04:41,674 --> 00:04:44,700 "I like your dress, but I'd like it more if you had prettier hair." 107 00:04:44,998 --> 00:04:46,348 That's psychotic. 108 00:04:46,817 --> 00:04:49,955 - Do guys actually do that? - Guys with girlfriends don't. 109 00:04:50,393 --> 00:04:51,665 That's low, Tuna. 110 00:04:52,205 --> 00:04:53,073 Hey, Tom. 111 00:04:53,198 --> 00:04:54,298 What's that? 112 00:04:54,423 --> 00:04:57,268 You found a golden ticket. One of my clients found a golden ticket. 113 00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,550 No, congratulations. 114 00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,473 - Tell me. - I'll take that down. 115 00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:09,690 Was it a spoiled little girl with big lips? 116 00:05:09,815 --> 00:05:11,942 - I'm on the phone. - Or an odd little boy 117 00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:15,314 with a cowboy obsession? Invite them on the tour! 118 00:05:15,930 --> 00:05:17,775 It's Blue Cross from Pennsylvania. 119 00:05:18,649 --> 00:05:19,649 Really? 120 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,928 That's kind of a big client. 121 00:05:26,168 --> 00:05:27,766 How much of a hit... 122 00:05:27,891 --> 00:05:29,662 is 10% of our Blue Cross account? 123 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,880 10%? They're our largest client. 124 00:05:32,005 --> 00:05:34,010 - That's gonna hurt. - Hold on one sec. 125 00:05:34,135 --> 00:05:36,187 Hold on one sec, Tom. What's that? 126 00:05:36,312 --> 00:05:38,312 You found five golden tickets? 127 00:05:39,877 --> 00:05:42,427 And does it say "Limit one per customer"? 128 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,485 Nope, it doesn't. 129 00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:48,722 How do you not spread out the tickets into different shipments? 130 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,190 I thought I did. 131 00:05:50,543 --> 00:05:52,351 OK, I'm gonna call 132 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,241 corporate to make sure that they know I didn't lose half my sales. 133 00:05:55,366 --> 00:05:56,816 You didn't. That... 134 00:05:57,947 --> 00:05:59,147 It'll be fine. 135 00:05:59,272 --> 00:06:00,472 It'll be good. 136 00:06:06,057 --> 00:06:07,041 You idiot. 137 00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:08,158 Start over. 138 00:06:08,729 --> 00:06:09,729 Sir, 139 00:06:10,702 --> 00:06:13,847 I placed a bunch of golden tickets into five separate boxes, 140 00:06:13,972 --> 00:06:16,381 and somehow they all ended up with Blue Cross. 141 00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:18,752 - How does this happen? - Were the boxes near each other? 142 00:06:19,210 --> 00:06:20,170 Irrelevant. 143 00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:23,262 I put three pallets on the truck to Blue Cross once a week. 144 00:06:23,387 --> 00:06:24,591 They use a lot of paper. 145 00:06:25,409 --> 00:06:28,770 I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to be honest. 146 00:06:28,895 --> 00:06:30,180 What is a pallet? 147 00:06:31,729 --> 00:06:33,629 My golden ticket idea... OK. 148 00:06:35,091 --> 00:06:38,745 Why would anyone think that this is my golden ticket idea? 149 00:06:38,870 --> 00:06:40,719 There's a one in thirteen chance 150 00:06:40,844 --> 00:06:43,679 that this could be anybody's golden ticket idea. 151 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:44,611 That... 152 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,306 Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam. 153 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:50,242 Hi, David. 154 00:06:51,342 --> 00:06:52,625 No, I'm sorry. 155 00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:55,456 He's not back from the civil rights rally. 156 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:59,884 I'll have him call you the minute he gets back from the Lincoln Memorial. 157 00:07:00,009 --> 00:07:01,741 When Michael's skirting a phone call, 158 00:07:01,866 --> 00:07:04,704 he gave me a list of places to say he is. 159 00:07:04,829 --> 00:07:08,529 "Stopping a fight in the parking lot." "An Obama fashion show." 160 00:07:08,986 --> 00:07:10,336 Whatever that is. 161 00:07:10,892 --> 00:07:12,992 Or "Trapped in an oil painting." 162 00:07:13,816 --> 00:07:15,142 I'm gonna save that one. 163 00:07:17,926 --> 00:07:19,221 Nobody panic. 164 00:07:19,346 --> 00:07:20,796 The good news is... 165 00:07:21,464 --> 00:07:23,600 - they can't fire all of us, right? - They can. 166 00:07:23,725 --> 00:07:25,319 - No, they can't. - Yes, they can. 167 00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:28,489 You don't know what the hell you're talking about. 168 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,449 What do you think shutting down a branch is? 169 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,076 Then we're screwed! 170 00:07:33,465 --> 00:07:35,022 I am just a net 171 00:07:35,776 --> 00:07:39,771 that traps all of your crappy subconscious ideas 172 00:07:40,762 --> 00:07:43,467 and adds a little bit of my own childhood memories 173 00:07:43,592 --> 00:07:45,005 and whimsy, so... 174 00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:49,218 I lost a ton of money today, and I've a mortgage, so I'm pissed, too. 175 00:07:49,583 --> 00:07:50,803 Jim is with me. 176 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,763 Absolutely not. I'm mad at you. 177 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:56,331 It is not my fault that you bought a house to impress Pam. 178 00:07:56,971 --> 00:07:58,727 That is why carnations exist. 179 00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,145 That's not why. 180 00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:03,902 We need a golden ticket idea to get us out of this mess. 181 00:08:04,346 --> 00:08:06,673 Does that mean an idea that blows up in our faces later? 182 00:08:06,798 --> 00:08:07,798 Good one. 183 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:10,055 Don't get that. Please. 184 00:08:10,996 --> 00:08:12,585 I've got a golden ticket idea. 185 00:08:12,710 --> 00:08:15,327 Why don't you skip on up to the roof and jump off? 186 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,245 That is not constructive. 187 00:08:17,370 --> 00:08:19,270 Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam. 188 00:08:19,899 --> 00:08:20,899 Hi, David. 189 00:08:22,422 --> 00:08:24,222 He's having a colonoscopy. 190 00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:27,840 All right, I'll find out if he's out yet. 191 00:08:29,745 --> 00:08:32,931 Hello, David. I just got back from my procedure... 192 00:08:33,056 --> 00:08:35,415 - What the hell is going on? - How are you doing? 193 00:08:35,540 --> 00:08:37,516 - Fine. What's going on? - My colonoscopy 194 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,260 was an examination of my large colon 195 00:08:40,824 --> 00:08:43,724 and the distal part of my small bowel with a camera. 196 00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:47,212 Why did you okay this golden ticket idea? 197 00:08:47,337 --> 00:08:50,320 We're going to lose a fortune. How could you let this happen? 198 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,359 There is an explanation 199 00:08:52,484 --> 00:08:55,159 that involves me not letting it happen. 200 00:08:55,879 --> 00:08:57,500 And I just don't... 201 00:08:57,625 --> 00:08:59,329 I don't... know. 202 00:08:59,711 --> 00:09:02,161 - How could you not know? - I think... 203 00:09:02,944 --> 00:09:06,716 We might have hired an outside marketing consultant. 204 00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:10,257 We might have hired... OK, what firm? 205 00:09:10,899 --> 00:09:12,349 You're breaking up. 206 00:09:13,342 --> 00:09:14,541 OK. I think... 207 00:09:14,666 --> 00:09:17,513 it might have been an inside... consultant. 208 00:09:18,532 --> 00:09:20,432 Was it the sales department? 209 00:09:22,597 --> 00:09:23,647 Was it Jim? 210 00:09:25,234 --> 00:09:26,634 OK, was it Dwight? 211 00:09:36,579 --> 00:09:37,629 Come on in. 212 00:09:38,163 --> 00:09:40,113 Good to see you. Have a seat. 213 00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:45,500 I just wanted to congratulate you on that great golden ticket idea. 214 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:46,752 That was your idea. 215 00:09:47,334 --> 00:09:48,921 Who told you that? 216 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,589 You did. Several times. 217 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,257 That was your idea. 218 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,051 You were dressed as Willy Wonka. 219 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,136 - I'm not taking credit. - Wasn't my idea. 220 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:58,013 - I'd love to, but I can't. - Wait. 221 00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:00,015 I wrote it down in my diary. 222 00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:02,959 - You don't keep a diary. - Yes, I do. You've just never seen it. 223 00:10:03,084 --> 00:10:04,134 "March 4th. 224 00:10:04,798 --> 00:10:07,731 "Dwight came up with the best idea today about golden tickets." 225 00:10:08,119 --> 00:10:09,519 Hold that thought. 226 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:17,560 March... 227 00:10:18,799 --> 00:10:19,743 4th. 228 00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:23,413 "Michael came up with golden ticket idea to give 5 customers 10% off for 1 year." 229 00:10:24,305 --> 00:10:27,095 - Why do you have a diary? - To keep secrets from my computer. 230 00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:30,077 You know what? You came up with this idea. I remember 231 00:10:30,202 --> 00:10:33,151 you told me that you loved the Willy Wonka movie 232 00:10:33,276 --> 00:10:35,232 - when you were growing up. - Impossible. 233 00:10:35,357 --> 00:10:38,086 - Yes, you did. - I wasn't given candy as a child, 234 00:10:38,211 --> 00:10:42,057 so a movie that fetishized it that much would have made no sense to me. 235 00:10:42,396 --> 00:10:44,796 Plus we weren't allowed to see movies. 236 00:10:45,916 --> 00:10:47,016 Do the math. 237 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,114 - What are you writing? - "Had conversation with Michael 238 00:10:52,239 --> 00:10:55,112 "about taking credit for an idea that wasn't mine. 239 00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:56,637 Discussed movies." 240 00:10:57,198 --> 00:11:01,076 Would you like to go to lunch with me? Just the two of us? 241 00:11:02,914 --> 00:11:03,996 With all my heart. 242 00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:07,624 You are throwing a lot at me. 243 00:11:07,992 --> 00:11:10,995 All I'm saying is that's the first date, so just keep a respectful distance. 244 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:11,921 Right. 245 00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,298 I don't think Jim means that you shouldn't touch her. 246 00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:16,596 - No, that is what I mean. - Shush. 247 00:11:16,721 --> 00:11:18,654 A playful touch on the arm or on the back, 248 00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:21,346 it can show your interest, and it's really romantic. 249 00:11:22,198 --> 00:11:24,098 - Like that? - No. Stop it. 250 00:11:26,535 --> 00:11:27,756 Don't touch her, 251 00:11:27,881 --> 00:11:29,281 don't talk to her, 252 00:11:29,887 --> 00:11:31,435 don't look at her. 253 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,611 Put your heart out there like that, it's liable to just turn 254 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,317 into this blackened carbon brick. 255 00:11:36,442 --> 00:11:38,999 It has barbecue sauce of shame and rage, 256 00:11:39,124 --> 00:11:41,938 and two hot people with a perfect relationship 257 00:11:42,063 --> 00:11:43,863 would not understand that. 258 00:11:45,736 --> 00:11:47,286 We think a lot alike. 259 00:11:48,217 --> 00:11:50,467 Sometimes you will think something, 260 00:11:51,034 --> 00:11:54,239 - and I will say what you're thinking. - What am I thinking right now? 261 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:58,060 Nacho chips. 262 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,094 I was thinking about how the skin is the largest organ of the body. 263 00:12:01,744 --> 00:12:03,694 Let me just cut to the chase. 264 00:12:05,074 --> 00:12:06,961 I want you to fall on your sword for me. 265 00:12:07,086 --> 00:12:08,436 Not gonna happen. 266 00:12:08,799 --> 00:12:11,965 I did fall on my sword once. I was running with it in my belt. 267 00:12:12,090 --> 00:12:13,540 Won't happen again. 268 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,484 Why do you even want to stay at Dunder Mifflin? 269 00:12:16,609 --> 00:12:17,778 What's the point? 270 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,968 You're cooped up in there all day. 271 00:12:20,093 --> 00:12:22,048 You don't get to do your farming. 272 00:12:22,173 --> 00:12:24,923 You're not dating Angela anymore. It doesn't matter 273 00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:28,242 if you get fired for taking credit for the gold ticket idea. 274 00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:29,648 It doesn't matter. 275 00:12:29,773 --> 00:12:32,205 Me on the other hand, I would be lost without this place. 276 00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:33,968 You, way too manly. 277 00:12:34,093 --> 00:12:35,693 What about Shoe La La? 278 00:12:36,228 --> 00:12:37,720 It's not ready yet. 279 00:12:37,845 --> 00:12:41,345 I have an idea for a fancy men's shoe store 280 00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:42,870 called Shoe La La, 281 00:12:43,738 --> 00:12:45,996 and it's just men's shoes 282 00:12:46,121 --> 00:12:48,545 for the special occasions in a man's life, 283 00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,605 like the day that you get married 284 00:12:50,730 --> 00:12:53,197 or the day your wife has a baby 285 00:12:53,836 --> 00:12:56,108 or for just lounging around the house. 286 00:12:57,713 --> 00:13:00,450 May I have your attention, please? I have an announcement. 287 00:13:00,575 --> 00:13:02,906 Mr. Dwight Schrute and I just returned 288 00:13:03,031 --> 00:13:06,451 from a wonderful stroll 289 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:10,569 together, and although I probably will never do it again, I had fun. 290 00:13:11,634 --> 00:13:14,002 I really had fun with my best friend, Dwight. 291 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,418 These aren't announcements. 292 00:13:15,543 --> 00:13:17,587 You just don't care about the information. 293 00:13:18,939 --> 00:13:21,529 I love working here, and I do not wanna leave. 294 00:13:21,654 --> 00:13:23,486 He doesn't love it that much. 295 00:13:23,611 --> 00:13:26,617 It wouldn't be such a bad thing for him to be fired. 296 00:13:26,742 --> 00:13:29,229 I mean, like we were talking about, 297 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:32,494 that is why he has come to the conclusion... 298 00:13:32,619 --> 00:13:35,556 We discussed the fact that I'm cooped up here 299 00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:38,265 instead of experiencing the whole wide world. 300 00:13:38,390 --> 00:13:40,259 Plowing my own acres, 301 00:13:40,530 --> 00:13:42,761 going around shirtless all day. 302 00:13:43,247 --> 00:13:44,739 Experiencing freedom. 303 00:13:45,272 --> 00:13:46,272 That's it. 304 00:13:47,103 --> 00:13:49,215 That's it. You can't put a price on freedom. 305 00:13:49,340 --> 00:13:52,090 - Try me. - That's why you've made the decision. 306 00:13:52,856 --> 00:13:55,644 - I haven't made a decision yet. - You kind of have. 307 00:14:02,886 --> 00:14:04,759 You cannot take the fall for him. 308 00:14:05,038 --> 00:14:07,429 - He said he would do the same for me. - He can do the same, 309 00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,540 right now, by getting fired instead of you. 310 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,436 So what are you gonna do? 311 00:14:15,865 --> 00:14:17,665 I'm gonna go back to work. 312 00:14:18,175 --> 00:14:20,484 After I write you up for insubordination. 313 00:14:21,378 --> 00:14:22,478 There he is. 314 00:14:27,859 --> 00:14:28,859 Get in. 315 00:14:29,260 --> 00:14:31,349 What's it gonna be? What are you gonna do? 316 00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:34,706 What's it gonna be? Are you gonna do this thing for me? 317 00:14:39,597 --> 00:14:41,387 How are you? Good to see you. 318 00:14:41,512 --> 00:14:42,712 Nice surprise. 319 00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:46,500 Dwight and I were just having a very unfortunate conversation. 320 00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,021 That's too bad. 321 00:14:48,146 --> 00:14:50,556 Yes, it is. But it had to be done, didn't it? 322 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,975 Hopefully nothing that can't be undone, because, Dwight, 323 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:56,061 I owe you an apology. 324 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,551 The head of Blue Cross just called. 325 00:14:58,676 --> 00:15:00,981 They were so excited by the golden ticket discount 326 00:15:01,106 --> 00:15:03,560 that they have decided to make Dunder Mifflin 327 00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:06,635 their exclusive provider of all office supplies. 328 00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:11,520 Congratulations. 329 00:15:18,912 --> 00:15:20,165 You're welcome. 330 00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:29,555 I just want to say that this golden ticket idea 331 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,514 is one of the most brilliant initiatives I've ever seen at this company, 332 00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:35,892 and how about a big round of applause for Mr. Dwight Schrute! 333 00:15:39,247 --> 00:15:40,605 All right, Dwight! 334 00:15:42,096 --> 00:15:43,206 This is huge. 335 00:15:43,331 --> 00:15:44,881 That's what she said. 336 00:15:46,741 --> 00:15:48,821 - Very funny. - Dwight, great idea. 337 00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:50,457 Great idea. 338 00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,404 How'd you come up with that idea? 339 00:15:54,952 --> 00:15:56,578 - Inspiration. - Really? 340 00:15:56,703 --> 00:15:58,623 - How? - Never know when it's gonna strike. 341 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:01,193 - How did it pop into your head? - Just... "boom." 342 00:16:01,318 --> 00:16:02,798 Give me the details. 343 00:16:02,923 --> 00:16:05,588 You're talking to Dwight Schrute, the biggest Wonka fan I know. 344 00:16:05,713 --> 00:16:08,613 You've been talking about that movie for years. 345 00:16:08,955 --> 00:16:10,343 I even made fun of you 346 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:13,097 when you dressed up as Willy Wonka to pitch this idea, 347 00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:16,122 - and for that I apologize. - Apology rejected. 348 00:16:16,585 --> 00:16:19,285 Thanks so much for helping the company. 349 00:16:20,258 --> 00:16:22,555 - Good work, kid. - Thanks, old man. 350 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,027 This is great. 351 00:16:24,152 --> 00:16:26,818 I wanna get you on the horn with the marketing people in New York. 352 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,695 - They should meet you. - Great idea. 353 00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:31,566 Pam, could you set up a call in there in about 15 minutes, please? 354 00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:32,691 Sure. 355 00:16:35,650 --> 00:16:37,329 Could I be part of the meeting also? 356 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,498 You have too much to do around here. I don't wanna take up your time. 357 00:16:40,882 --> 00:16:43,462 Let's face it. This meeting sounds like it's Wonka fans only. 358 00:16:43,587 --> 00:16:45,387 He's never seen the movie. 359 00:16:45,769 --> 00:16:46,769 All right. 360 00:16:53,938 --> 00:16:56,264 Hey, guys. I have with me Dwight Schrute. 361 00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:58,813 - Dwight, take it away. - Listen up. Here's the deal. 362 00:16:58,938 --> 00:17:01,436 I love candy, sweet sugary candy, 363 00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:04,538 from the second it touches my tongue to the moment its metabolized 364 00:17:04,663 --> 00:17:07,363 by my stomach acid, so naturally I liked... 365 00:17:07,535 --> 00:17:08,526 Willy Wonka. 366 00:17:08,808 --> 00:17:10,708 Wait, do you guys hear that? 367 00:17:10,971 --> 00:17:13,871 There's not a dog listening in? I hear panting. 368 00:17:14,818 --> 00:17:15,909 No dogs. 369 00:17:16,278 --> 00:17:17,662 So, I love... 370 00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:19,371 Willy Wonka. 371 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,189 The golden ticket scene 372 00:17:21,347 --> 00:17:25,001 is so inspiring to me that that's where I came up with that idea. 373 00:17:25,558 --> 00:17:27,624 There is no movie called Willy Wonka. 374 00:17:27,749 --> 00:17:29,814 It's called Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. 375 00:17:29,939 --> 00:17:32,112 Based on a book called Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. 376 00:17:32,237 --> 00:17:33,982 I can't vouch for that. 377 00:17:34,544 --> 00:17:37,592 But I do know this... He is a liar. He has taken my idea. 378 00:17:37,717 --> 00:17:39,849 - That is my... - We are gonna call you back. 379 00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:42,967 - What is going on here? - Here's what happened. 380 00:17:43,347 --> 00:17:44,797 It was all my idea. 381 00:17:44,922 --> 00:17:47,865 You called me and you were really angry at me 382 00:17:47,990 --> 00:17:50,290 and I got scared, so I had Dwight take the fall, 383 00:17:50,415 --> 00:17:52,646 but now it turns out that it's a great idea, 384 00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:55,657 and Dwight will not confess. Can you believe that? 385 00:17:56,136 --> 00:17:57,968 - It is my idea. - How dare you? 386 00:17:58,093 --> 00:17:59,204 It is my idea. 387 00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:01,734 I'm filled with good ideas. Thousands of good ideas! 388 00:18:01,859 --> 00:18:05,083 You are? Good ideas? Did you come up with toilet buddy? 389 00:18:05,433 --> 00:18:08,106 It's a net, a circular net you put inside the toilet 390 00:18:08,231 --> 00:18:12,081 to catch your change and your wallet from falling into the toilet? 391 00:18:12,206 --> 00:18:14,956 - Formerly known as toilet guard? - Horse boat! 392 00:18:15,081 --> 00:18:17,144 A canoe built around your horse 393 00:18:17,269 --> 00:18:20,348 so you can go from riding to water travel without slowing down. 394 00:18:20,473 --> 00:18:21,943 - Horse boat! - Toilet sponge. 395 00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:23,878 It's a hollowed out sponge... 396 00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:25,633 that is more absorbent 397 00:18:25,758 --> 00:18:27,939 and softer than toilet paper. 398 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,457 - I have a lot of toilet ideas. - 'Cause they're easy. 399 00:18:30,582 --> 00:18:32,836 - They're not easy. - Toilet piano bench. 400 00:18:32,961 --> 00:18:34,067 Women's urinal! 401 00:18:34,192 --> 00:18:37,031 Everybody has to go to the bathroom. 402 00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:39,343 Enough. Please. Enough. 403 00:18:39,468 --> 00:18:41,018 Is this true, Dwight? 404 00:18:41,864 --> 00:18:43,014 Is this true? 405 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:47,340 It's Michael's idea that he forced on me 406 00:18:47,465 --> 00:18:48,752 on threat of death! 407 00:18:52,075 --> 00:18:56,050 What do you want me to do now? What am I supposed to do now? 408 00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,944 David, I will be honest with you. 409 00:18:58,069 --> 00:19:00,919 I do want the credit without any of the blame. 410 00:19:04,191 --> 00:19:06,091 I am going back to New York. 411 00:19:07,839 --> 00:19:08,980 Pam, do me a favor, 412 00:19:09,421 --> 00:19:11,088 don't send me those notes. 413 00:19:13,788 --> 00:19:14,788 I am gone. 414 00:19:20,136 --> 00:19:22,787 When they look back on this day in the history books, 415 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:26,162 all that will be remembered is that I had a good idea. 416 00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:29,091 And that's what I'm going to write down in my diary. 417 00:19:29,216 --> 00:19:31,322 And that is what I want you to write down in yours. 418 00:19:31,447 --> 00:19:32,447 I am. 419 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,472 In my own words. 420 00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:36,399 I wanna see it. 421 00:19:36,524 --> 00:19:38,565 I wanna see that. Give me the diary. 422 00:19:47,415 --> 00:19:50,438 I'm just gonna say to you everything that I'm thinking. 423 00:19:51,492 --> 00:19:52,949 I think you have 424 00:19:53,074 --> 00:19:54,325 the best smile. 425 00:19:55,787 --> 00:19:58,687 I'd like to take you out to dinner and a movie. 426 00:20:01,884 --> 00:20:02,884 Nice. 427 00:20:04,488 --> 00:20:05,488 Boobs. 428 00:20:14,378 --> 00:20:16,730 Well, it's his funeral, so... 429 00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:22,959 Who is it? 430 00:20:23,084 --> 00:20:24,807 - KGB. - All right. 431 00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:26,850 I just got out of the shower. One second. 432 00:20:27,245 --> 00:20:29,395 When you are done, open the door. 433 00:20:33,423 --> 00:20:34,673 Hello in there? 434 00:20:34,982 --> 00:20:37,652 I'm late so I have to brush my teeth. It's a whole routine. 435 00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,142 We have other houses to visit. 436 00:20:40,267 --> 00:20:42,458 If you wanna come back then, that'd be fine. 437 00:20:43,661 --> 00:20:45,161 We'll come back at... 438 00:20:46,023 --> 00:20:49,073 - How is 4:45? - I get home from work around 6:00. 439 00:20:51,752 --> 00:20:53,447 How about 5:15? 440 00:20:54,574 --> 00:20:56,674 You can try it. That might work. 441 00:20:57,123 --> 00:21:00,049 - Very well. We will come back at 5:15. - All right.