1 00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:10,843 What's wrong, Michael? 2 00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:12,595 I got gum in my hair. 3 00:00:12,678 --> 00:00:13,679 You do. 4 00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:16,057 This just stinks. 5 00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:17,683 Don't touch it. Please, don't touch it! 6 00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:18,768 You've got a ton of dandruff. 7 00:00:18,851 --> 00:00:19,894 Okay, let me be. 8 00:00:19,977 --> 00:00:21,062 How'd you get gum in your hair? 9 00:00:21,145 --> 00:00:23,689 I was walking in and I noticed something shiny under Stanley's car, 10 00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:28,027 and I'd gotten under to see what it was, and I messed up my hair. 11 00:00:28,110 --> 00:00:30,154 All for a stupid piece of tin foil. 12 00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:32,490 But, best-case scenario, you thought it was a quarter. 13 00:00:32,573 --> 00:00:34,033 Kill me, right now. 14 00:00:34,116 --> 00:00:36,327 We have peanut butter in the kitchen. 15 00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:39,163 I don't feel like peanut butter. Get me an ice cream sandwich. 16 00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:42,625 Nope, not for you, it's for your hair. And it is 9:00 a.m. 17 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:46,212 No, Dwight, not the good peanut butter. People are gonna get mad. 18 00:00:46,295 --> 00:00:49,006 Hey, hey, hey. This is my hair we're talking about. 19 00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:52,927 Smells good. 20 00:00:54,178 --> 00:00:55,221 Tastes good, too. 21 00:00:55,304 --> 00:00:57,181 Oh, don't, that's disgusting. 22 00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:58,933 Wow, a lot of calories. 23 00:00:59,016 --> 00:01:01,310 Well, just don't leave it on too long. 24 00:01:01,769 --> 00:01:03,771 Keep massaging, please. 25 00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,274 Oh, yeah, that's nice. 26 00:01:42,226 --> 00:01:44,562 Hey, Michael, how was your date last night? 27 00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:49,025 I will be honest. The dating has not been going well. 28 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,695 Look, men are visual creatures. 29 00:01:53,362 --> 00:01:59,577 We crave beauty. Like a piece of fine art by 30 00:02:01,245 --> 00:02:03,873 any number of renowned artists. 31 00:02:03,956 --> 00:02:09,629 Or an arty photograph of Cindy Crawford nude. 32 00:02:09,962 --> 00:02:13,132 That, but the women I'm getting fixed up with are... 33 00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:19,347 Not that they aren't nice or have great personalities, 34 00:02:19,430 --> 00:02:23,476 they just, they just lack a certain Crawfordness. 35 00:02:24,393 --> 00:02:27,188 I am livid. Absolutely livid. 36 00:02:27,271 --> 00:02:28,356 It's ridiculous. 37 00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:31,067 Yes, I'm having the Scranton branch come in on one Saturday, 38 00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:33,569 so they can re-enter sales that they made on the phone 39 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,822 as sales made by the website, which they should've done in the first place, 40 00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:38,449 if the website had been working. 41 00:02:41,702 --> 00:02:44,664 My favorite branch. How's everybody doing? 42 00:02:45,581 --> 00:02:46,999 Hey, man, do you mind if I run something by you? 43 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,043 Love it! Go. 44 00:02:49,126 --> 00:02:53,214 Well, I kind of feel like what we have going for us IS our customer service. 45 00:02:53,422 --> 00:02:55,591 And no matter how much we change this up, 46 00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:58,302 I don't know that a website's gonna be able to replace that. 47 00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,513 I can tell you've thought about this a lot. I appreciate that. 48 00:03:00,596 --> 00:03:01,597 Thanks. 49 00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:02,807 David Wallace does, too. 50 00:03:02,890 --> 00:03:06,060 You told him all about this at the Christmas party, right? 51 00:03:07,853 --> 00:03:08,854 Did 1? 52 00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:10,106 You did, yeah. 53 00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:11,190 Hmm. 54 00:03:12,274 --> 00:03:13,401 Watch your back, Jim. 55 00:03:15,152 --> 00:03:16,529 I'm just kidding. 56 00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:22,785 Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? 57 00:03:22,868 --> 00:03:25,079 I know that a lot of you are very angry with Ryan, 58 00:03:25,162 --> 00:03:27,206 because he is the reason we all have to come in tomorrow. 59 00:03:27,289 --> 00:03:32,294 However, I swear to God, if any of you hurts him in any way 60 00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:34,505 emotionally, or taunts him, 61 00:03:34,588 --> 00:03:38,175 or makes fun of his height or his half-beard... 62 00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:40,511 Okay. Thanks, Michael. He... Yeah. 63 00:03:40,594 --> 00:03:41,762 I'm here today 64 00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:44,807 to do some creative problem solving about Dunder Mifflin Infinity 65 00:03:44,890 --> 00:03:46,767 and field your questions. Question. 66 00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:47,852 Dwight. 67 00:03:47,935 --> 00:03:48,978 Why am I being forced to come in tomorrow 68 00:03:49,061 --> 00:03:51,147 and pretend that a website made sales that I made? 69 00:03:51,230 --> 00:03:54,442 This is a temporary measure to increase the legitimacy of the site. 70 00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:57,153 I don't like when my clients call me to help them use the website. 71 00:03:57,236 --> 00:03:58,863 I'm not seeing commissions on that. 72 00:03:58,946 --> 00:04:01,449 I hear you, Stanley. That is a great observation. 73 00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:06,245 Problems like that will not happen when we launch Dunder Mifflin Infinity 2.0. 74 00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,164 When will that be? TBD. 75 00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:09,248 Phyllis. 76 00:04:09,331 --> 00:04:10,374 Did the police solve the problem with... 77 00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:12,752 Yes, yes, they did. Yes, they did. 78 00:04:12,835 --> 00:04:17,006 Yes, the social networking feature of the Dunder Mifflin Infinity website 79 00:04:17,089 --> 00:04:19,592 was infiltrated by sexual predators. 80 00:04:19,675 --> 00:04:22,595 I don't understand why our website needs to have social networking at all. 81 00:04:22,678 --> 00:04:24,555 Yeah, actually I have to agree with Dwight on that one. 82 00:04:24,638 --> 00:04:28,142 It's all about creating a one-stop consumer experience. 83 00:04:28,225 --> 00:04:30,144 All right? You're chatting with your friends, 84 00:04:30,227 --> 00:04:31,979 you're talking about the latest music. 85 00:04:32,062 --> 00:04:33,105 About the election. 86 00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:37,401 All of it is happening in our virtual paper store. 87 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:40,029 And then an older gentleman asks you, "Boxers or briefs?" 88 00:04:40,112 --> 00:04:42,490 I don't get the big fuss, here. I like the site. 89 00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:45,785 If I had created a website with this many problems, I'd kill myself. 90 00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:46,869 Do you have a question, Kelly? 91 00:04:46,994 --> 00:04:48,078 Yeah, I have a lot of questions. 92 00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:50,080 Number one. How dare you? 93 00:04:53,542 --> 00:04:59,173 Ryan has done a very good job, and I am not applauding sarcastically. 94 00:04:59,256 --> 00:05:00,925 Think about it. A month ago, 95 00:05:01,008 --> 00:05:03,260 nobody would go on this site, because we were worried 96 00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:07,723 about getting molested or losing our identity, having it stolen. 97 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:14,355 But now, at a time TDB, all of these problems will be in the past. 98 00:05:14,438 --> 00:05:16,899 You done good, kid. You done good. 99 00:05:21,612 --> 00:05:23,781 Well, it has been nice seeing you again, my friend. 100 00:05:23,864 --> 00:05:24,907 You, too. 101 00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:29,203 Oh, Ryan, I need a girlfriend so bad. 102 00:05:29,286 --> 00:05:30,788 Michael, let me go. 103 00:05:30,871 --> 00:05:32,039 Let me go, Michael. 104 00:05:32,122 --> 00:05:33,207 All right. 105 00:05:34,041 --> 00:05:36,919 Do you know any girls in New York you might want to hook me up with, 106 00:05:37,002 --> 00:05:39,922 that might be interested in a guy like me? 107 00:05:40,422 --> 00:05:41,674 Nah. Nah. 108 00:05:41,757 --> 00:05:43,342 Sorry, man. Well, you tried. 109 00:05:43,425 --> 00:05:44,885 But, seriously... 110 00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:47,680 You should see the girls I meet at clubs in the city. 111 00:05:47,763 --> 00:05:48,806 Unreal. 112 00:05:48,889 --> 00:05:50,266 They sound great. 113 00:05:50,766 --> 00:05:54,895 Bye, everyone! Stay real, Scranton, all right? Peace! 114 00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:58,899 Would you have sex with Meredith? 115 00:05:58,983 --> 00:05:59,984 What? 116 00:06:00,067 --> 00:06:01,235 Do you think she'd keep it quiet? 117 00:06:01,318 --> 00:06:02,903 I'm gonna go to my desk. 118 00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:06,824 Jim, it's not the horniness, okay? It's the loneliness. That's... 119 00:06:07,157 --> 00:06:08,200 I know. 120 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,744 Let's go to New York. We'll go clubbing with Ryan. 121 00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:12,079 I can't. Yes, you can. 122 00:06:12,162 --> 00:06:13,914 You're single, I'm single. It'll be awesome. 123 00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:15,040 I'm not single. 124 00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:16,625 Who are you dating? 125 00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:18,252 Pam. 126 00:06:18,335 --> 00:06:19,879 That's still going on? 127 00:06:22,923 --> 00:06:25,009 Okay, Dwight, grab your stuff. 128 00:06:25,092 --> 00:06:27,678 We're going to New York to party with Ryan and to meet girls. 129 00:06:27,761 --> 00:06:28,846 - Yeah! - Oh, yes. 130 00:06:28,929 --> 00:06:33,100 Count me in, dudes. I am in serious need of some bro time. 131 00:06:34,059 --> 00:06:37,187 Old ball and chain's been a lot more chain than ball lately, 132 00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:38,939 if you know what I'm saying. I'm right here. 133 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:42,526 No, singles only. Singles only. Also, three is unlucky. 134 00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:45,195 Curse of three. Sorry, Andy. 135 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:47,531 Cannot take any chances on curses. Not tonight. 136 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:50,284 Let's go. Everybody, I will see you tomorrow, Saturday morning, 137 00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:53,662 probably wearing the same clothes that I'm wearing right now, 138 00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:55,956 if you catch my drift. 139 00:06:56,123 --> 00:06:57,166 We get it. 140 00:06:57,249 --> 00:06:58,751 I am going 141 00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:00,461 to go get laid. 142 00:07:00,544 --> 00:07:01,545 Goodbye! 143 00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:03,255 With sex! 144 00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:08,636 You know what? If we all stayed a couple hours late tonight 145 00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:11,889 without Michael distracting us, we wouldn't have to come in at all tomorrow. 146 00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:17,144 So I caught everyone before they left, and I told them my idea. 147 00:07:17,394 --> 00:07:18,562 And they loved it. 148 00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:21,398 Because this is a group that respects good ideas. 149 00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:24,193 The one time a year they hear one. 150 00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:29,448 Ryan's assistant told us 151 00:07:29,531 --> 00:07:32,493 that he would be at this club this evening. 152 00:07:32,576 --> 00:07:34,203 It is called Prerogative. 153 00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,417 This place is packed! 154 00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:42,002 Fire hazard. 155 00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:43,462 Packed with 156 00:07:43,712 --> 00:07:45,172 "beautiful babies." 157 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,800 Swingers, classic. 158 00:07:48,592 --> 00:07:51,929 Jon Favreau, tall guy from Dodgeball. 159 00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:54,223 These women look like white slaves. 160 00:07:54,306 --> 00:07:56,517 No, they're just hot. Hotties. 161 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,812 I don't know. When you think about it, Cabo is really the Third World. 162 00:07:59,895 --> 00:08:02,481 I don't go to a place like that to see more poverty, you know? 163 00:08:02,564 --> 00:08:03,607 You go there to get some glamour, and... 164 00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:04,692 Hey. 165 00:08:04,775 --> 00:08:05,776 Michael? 166 00:08:05,859 --> 00:08:06,860 Hey. 167 00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:07,945 What are you doing here? 168 00:08:08,028 --> 00:08:09,071 Well, you know, 169 00:08:09,154 --> 00:08:10,990 just taking you up on your offer to party, so... 170 00:08:11,073 --> 00:08:12,074 Ta-da! 171 00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:13,784 That is so awesome, man! 172 00:08:13,867 --> 00:08:15,077 All right! 173 00:08:15,619 --> 00:08:16,620 And you brought this guy! 174 00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:17,955 Yeah! 175 00:08:18,038 --> 00:08:19,289 Oh! 176 00:08:21,208 --> 00:08:22,710 Ryan, it's Michael and Dwight. 177 00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,169 I know it's you guys! Okay. 178 00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:26,171 I'm so psyched you're here. Well... 179 00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:28,507 All right! 180 00:08:29,049 --> 00:08:30,175 Let's get a drink! 181 00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:31,260 Let's do it! 182 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:40,936 Thanks a lot, guys! Good job! 183 00:08:43,939 --> 00:08:44,940 Later. 184 00:08:45,065 --> 00:08:46,525 Nice job, everybody. 185 00:08:46,608 --> 00:08:47,735 Great work. 186 00:08:54,074 --> 00:08:57,202 Did you not tell the security guard we were working late? 187 00:08:57,619 --> 00:08:59,872 Nope. I didn't. 188 00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:03,542 But let's go inside and I can call him right now. 189 00:09:03,625 --> 00:09:06,545 We can't. I locked the office from the inside when we left. 190 00:09:06,628 --> 00:09:09,173 Perfect. You guys worked together on this one. 191 00:09:09,673 --> 00:09:13,761 If I'm not in my bath with a glass of red wine in one hour, you're both dead. 192 00:09:18,223 --> 00:09:21,393 There is a master key and a spare key for the office. 193 00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:23,687 Dwight has them both. 194 00:09:24,271 --> 00:09:27,941 When I asked, "What if you die, Dwight? How will we get into the office?" 195 00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:31,445 He said, "If I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks." 196 00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:35,407 Guys, I want you to meet a really good friend of mine. This is Troy. 197 00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:36,533 Hey, nice to meet you. 198 00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:37,659 How're you doing? 199 00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,036 Hi. Dwight. 200 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,538 You resemble the Tolkien character. 201 00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:44,583 He basically is, man. He's a regular banking wizard. 202 00:09:44,666 --> 00:09:46,794 No, no, no, not a wizard. A hobbit. 203 00:09:48,045 --> 00:09:49,129 Bottle service, y'all? 204 00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:51,590 Oh, okay. All I know is, 205 00:09:51,673 --> 00:09:54,843 I would like some chicken fingers and a Midori Sour. 206 00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:56,678 We don't serve food here. 207 00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:59,807 Oh, okay. Then just bring me two cups, 208 00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:03,977 one with olives, and another one filled with maraschino cherries. 209 00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:07,981 Do you live in a regular-sized house? 210 00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:10,442 Yeah, he's a normal guy. He's cool. 211 00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:12,653 You really don't have his phone number? 212 00:10:12,736 --> 00:10:14,988 I told you, I have the number that rings here. 213 00:10:15,072 --> 00:10:16,156 Do you want that number? 214 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,950 I might have it in here. 215 00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:19,910 Wow, that's great, Toby. 216 00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:21,829 It's so random that I have it. 217 00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:23,413 Toby, you're the best! 218 00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:26,792 When I put it in, I thought it might be a waste of time, but I guess it was worth it. 219 00:10:26,875 --> 00:10:29,253 Great. It's under here as "security guard home." 220 00:10:29,336 --> 00:10:31,213 Did you not get his name, or... No. 221 00:10:31,296 --> 00:10:33,549 It's ringing... Does anybody have his name, quick? 222 00:10:33,632 --> 00:10:34,675 Yes, it's Eddie. 223 00:10:34,883 --> 00:10:36,802 It's not... It's not Eddie. It's Evan or... 224 00:10:36,885 --> 00:10:38,262 Hank. His name is Hank. 225 00:10:38,345 --> 00:10:41,014 No, guys, his name's not Hank, it's... Is it Edgar? 226 00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:42,099 Elliot. Elliot. 227 00:10:42,182 --> 00:10:44,143 Is it... Hey, chief. 228 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,979 This is Jim Halpert from 229 00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,397 where you work. 230 00:10:48,772 --> 00:10:52,943 You are the guy who sits behind the desk. You're the... 231 00:10:53,610 --> 00:10:55,487 The African-American guy. 232 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:57,072 I mean, you're... 233 00:10:57,865 --> 00:10:58,991 Who have I got here? 234 00:10:59,074 --> 00:11:02,619 Dwight Schrute, man. How's Schrute Farms? 235 00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:03,954 Good. 236 00:11:04,037 --> 00:11:05,831 This guy owns his own beet farm. 237 00:11:05,914 --> 00:11:06,957 Insane! 238 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,084 Well, it's weevil season, but we were prepared. 239 00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:11,837 "Weevils." What a crazy word, man. 240 00:11:12,045 --> 00:11:14,423 I don't even know what that means. What does that mean? 241 00:11:14,506 --> 00:11:16,884 They lay their eggs inside the unripe beetroot, 242 00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:19,052 then, come springtime, the babies eat their way out. 243 00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:20,470 Crazy! Sick! 244 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,974 That's too much for me, man. I'm gonna hit the bathroom. 245 00:11:24,057 --> 00:11:26,059 You've already been several times. 246 00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:27,144 Yeah? 247 00:11:27,227 --> 00:11:28,812 Maybe you have some kind of bladder infection. 248 00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:29,938 I don't know. Maybe. 249 00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:31,690 I'll order you some cranberry juice. 250 00:11:31,773 --> 00:11:33,567 With vodka. You're the best! 251 00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:36,737 Do you have powers? 252 00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:38,530 Oh, thank you, Hank. 253 00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:41,283 You are a lifesaver, Hank. Appreciate it. 254 00:11:41,366 --> 00:11:44,995 All right, so Hank is going to come down here. He's gonna let us all out. 255 00:11:45,078 --> 00:11:47,331 He said it should be just under an hour, so... 256 00:11:47,414 --> 00:11:48,665 Oh! 257 00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:49,791 We did it. 258 00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:52,669 We should all make sure to give him a big tip this Christmas. 259 00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:55,923 Sorry, guys, but I don't think I chipped in for last year's. 260 00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:57,257 Neither did I. 261 00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,676 Jim was supposed to collect it. 262 00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:03,680 Way to go, man. 263 00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:05,057 Now he's never gonna come. 264 00:12:05,140 --> 00:12:08,936 By a show of hands, who thinks we're a better couple than Jim and Pam? 265 00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:13,106 Phyllis! 266 00:12:15,108 --> 00:12:19,112 I thought about getting a tattoo on my back, as well, at one point. 267 00:12:19,613 --> 00:12:22,199 I was thinking about getting Back to the Future. 268 00:12:22,282 --> 00:12:24,284 "Back" because it's on my back, 269 00:12:24,826 --> 00:12:29,039 and "Future" because I'm the kind of guy who likes to look ahead into the future. 270 00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:32,668 I just think a tattoo should mean something, you know? 271 00:12:32,876 --> 00:12:34,294 And it's my second-favorite movie. 272 00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:35,796 I've never heard of that movie. 273 00:12:35,879 --> 00:12:39,007 Back to the Future? Oh, wow! 274 00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:41,969 Well, you should take a film education course. 275 00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:43,303 How old are you? 276 00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:45,305 40... I'm in my 40s. 277 00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:48,517 Wow, that's so cool. 278 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:49,601 Yeah. 279 00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,020 Well, I'm gonna go back to my group now. 280 00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:53,313 Oh, okay. 281 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:54,523 Thanks for the drink. 282 00:12:54,606 --> 00:12:55,983 You are welcome. 283 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,615 This place is like a... Like a sexy preschool. 284 00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:05,575 Did you want a place where we can meet older women? 285 00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:08,036 I would love a place where we can meet older girls. 286 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,246 Hell, yeah! 287 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,415 I'll hook it up! 288 00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:13,667 Wow, that's dangerous. 289 00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:23,343 Excuse me. 290 00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:24,511 Yeah? 291 00:13:25,053 --> 00:13:27,055 How did you all find each other? 292 00:13:27,514 --> 00:13:31,184 We're the Jersey State varsity basketball team. Northeast Regional Champs. 293 00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:35,063 Amazons! 294 00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:38,233 It's Off. It's not the dude I know. 295 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:40,402 It's some other loser who won't let us in without chicks. 296 00:13:40,485 --> 00:13:41,987 - You're kidding. - Let's bail. 297 00:13:42,070 --> 00:13:45,365 Wait, wait, wait. You two, Jersey State girls, let's go. 298 00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:47,326 We're not going unless we can all go. 299 00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:48,827 Okay, you know what? Fine. 300 00:13:48,910 --> 00:13:51,246 Let's go, two girls to a guy. Come on, let's do it. 301 00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:52,914 Come on, Ryan. Move out! 302 00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:56,209 Hey, three or four with him. Let's go, come on. Here we go. 303 00:13:56,501 --> 00:13:57,794 Don't step on him. 304 00:13:59,629 --> 00:14:00,630 Really? 305 00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,591 Hey, look what I found in the back. 306 00:14:02,674 --> 00:14:04,051 Want to play? I can teach you to throw. 307 00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:05,260 I know how to throw a football. 308 00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,470 Of course you do. 309 00:14:06,553 --> 00:14:08,305 Yeah, Pam! Hit me up! 310 00:14:08,388 --> 00:14:09,514 Go long! 311 00:14:16,396 --> 00:14:17,606 There you go. 312 00:14:17,689 --> 00:14:19,566 Wait a minute. What is this? I didn't order this. 313 00:14:19,649 --> 00:14:21,860 It's for you. From them. 314 00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:28,200 What are you doing, man? 315 00:14:28,283 --> 00:14:31,036 It's not safe. Anything could have been in there. 316 00:14:31,244 --> 00:14:32,496 Nice try! 317 00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,623 I've never met anybody who does that. 318 00:14:34,706 --> 00:14:36,792 You wash dogs. Very cool. 319 00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:39,419 That's one aspect of small pet grooming. What do you do? 320 00:14:39,503 --> 00:14:40,837 I am a bank teller. 321 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:44,508 Ryan told me to always tell women you work in finance. 322 00:14:44,591 --> 00:14:45,801 Cool. Yeah. 323 00:14:45,884 --> 00:14:47,427 I think so. Yeah, I have fun. 324 00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:49,388 I'm just gonna use the powder room. 325 00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:51,056 All right. So, I'll see you soon. 326 00:14:51,139 --> 00:14:52,391 Very perfect. 327 00:15:00,273 --> 00:15:03,193 This needs to be shared. 328 00:15:23,338 --> 00:15:25,048 She washes dogs. 329 00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:26,466 You're doing it, man I know! 330 00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:29,052 I don't want to get ahead of myself, but... 331 00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:30,679 I think I want her to meet my mom. 332 00:15:30,762 --> 00:15:32,264 Hey, man, 333 00:15:32,347 --> 00:15:35,392 do you ever think there's gonna be this massive nuclear holocaust? 334 00:15:35,475 --> 00:15:37,227 And after all the major nations are destroyed, 335 00:15:37,310 --> 00:15:40,147 there'll just be tribes in the jungles that rise up and survive? 336 00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:42,774 That jungle warfare is gonna rule the world? 337 00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:44,860 Yeah, maybe. 338 00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:54,828 It's inevitable, right? 339 00:15:54,911 --> 00:15:55,912 Mmm-hmm. 340 00:15:57,372 --> 00:15:58,790 Please don't pick up. Please don't pick up. 341 00:15:58,874 --> 00:15:59,875 Hello. 342 00:15:59,958 --> 00:16:00,959 Hank. 343 00:16:01,042 --> 00:16:02,502 Is that you? Yeah. 344 00:16:03,503 --> 00:16:04,671 Still haven't left the house yet, huh? 345 00:16:04,754 --> 00:16:06,298 I was getting ready to leave. 346 00:16:06,381 --> 00:16:08,383 Good. Please hurry. 347 00:16:08,508 --> 00:16:11,261 Stop calling me, so I can put on my damn socks. 348 00:16:11,511 --> 00:16:14,014 Will do. I'll stop calling. 349 00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:18,143 I am. 350 00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:19,895 I am getting out there. 351 00:16:20,395 --> 00:16:23,064 Well, no, I've asked a lot of girls to dance, Mom. 352 00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,441 They're just... It's not... 353 00:16:25,817 --> 00:16:26,860 Listen to me for a second. 354 00:16:28,111 --> 00:16:30,530 Yes, I shaved the back of my neck. 355 00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:32,657 Oh, my God. Mom, I gotta go. 356 00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:34,743 One of my friends is getting beaten up by some girls! 357 00:16:36,661 --> 00:16:40,373 Actually, it's kind of too bad we're not coming into work tomorrow. 358 00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:41,583 Why? 359 00:16:41,666 --> 00:16:42,876 I bet Michael had some elaborate 360 00:16:42,959 --> 00:16:46,129 theme party planned, like "Scrambled Egg Saturday." 361 00:16:47,088 --> 00:16:50,467 More like, "Hey, everyone, let's get your boss laid" Saturday. 362 00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:04,564 I have an announcement to make. 363 00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:08,860 I am moving to Costa Rica. 364 00:17:08,985 --> 00:17:12,197 I've thought about it for a long time, now, 365 00:17:12,697 --> 00:17:14,032 and I'm finally gonna do it. 366 00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:17,202 So... 367 00:17:17,994 --> 00:17:20,539 I'm just gonna hop the fence and jog home, then. 368 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:37,806 Those girls really whaled on you bad. 369 00:17:37,889 --> 00:17:39,516 Why wouldn't they let me dance? 370 00:17:39,599 --> 00:17:40,976 Okay, I gotta go. 371 00:17:41,142 --> 00:17:43,061 Do not take him to a hospital. 372 00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:46,690 Pretty weird. 373 00:17:46,773 --> 00:17:48,233 Do you have to go with them? 374 00:17:48,316 --> 00:17:49,609 I do, I have to go. 375 00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:50,860 Stay. Just stay, please. 376 00:17:50,944 --> 00:17:52,070 Okay, no. I have to go. 377 00:17:52,153 --> 00:17:53,488 Good luck against Conn College, all right? 378 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:54,698 Call me. 379 00:17:54,781 --> 00:17:55,782 Uh-huh. 380 00:17:55,865 --> 00:17:57,033 I'm not gonna call her. 381 00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:58,118 I don't want to go back in. 382 00:17:58,201 --> 00:17:59,327 I know. Here we go. 383 00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:06,126 Cleaning people. Oscar? 384 00:18:09,212 --> 00:18:11,256 Okay, so all you need to do is explain to them what happened, 385 00:18:11,339 --> 00:18:12,424 'cause I think they can help us. 386 00:18:12,507 --> 00:18:15,093 Why are you assuming they only speak Spanish? 387 00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:17,429 If they speak Spanish. 388 00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:19,097 Good evening. 389 00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:20,807 We locked ourselves in. 390 00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:28,523 They happen to speak Spanish. 391 00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:29,941 Lucky us. 392 00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:36,740 This is a one-time thing. You know that, right? 393 00:18:36,823 --> 00:18:38,491 Wow. All right! 394 00:18:38,575 --> 00:18:39,993 This is it. 395 00:18:40,076 --> 00:18:41,786 This is where the magic happens. 396 00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:43,663 Nice! Very nice. 397 00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:46,374 One of you can have the sofa, and one of you can have the floor. 398 00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:47,876 - I got the sofa. - I got sofa. 399 00:18:47,959 --> 00:18:49,085 Dwight, I got the sofa, I'm the boss. 400 00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:50,587 Come on. I got floor! 401 00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:52,172 In case anybody needs to go to the bathroom 402 00:18:52,255 --> 00:18:54,424 in the middle of the night, I don't want to get my head stepped on. 403 00:18:54,507 --> 00:18:56,843 Do you want me to sing you a song my mother used to sing me 404 00:18:56,926 --> 00:18:58,428 when we were sick? No. 405 00:18:59,596 --> 00:19:02,349 Okay, Dwight. Dwight. 406 00:19:03,850 --> 00:19:05,852 Leave him alone. It's a lullaby. 407 00:19:06,561 --> 00:19:09,189 Ryan? Ryan, we're gonna take your clothes off. 408 00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:10,357 No! 409 00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:14,069 Guys... 410 00:19:15,528 --> 00:19:18,323 I think my friend Troy might have a drug problem. 411 00:19:19,157 --> 00:19:20,367 What do I do? 412 00:19:20,992 --> 00:19:23,912 I think his species might have a higher tolerance than ours. 413 00:19:23,995 --> 00:19:25,955 Just stop. 414 00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:27,957 Here's what you do. 415 00:19:28,875 --> 00:19:32,962 You tell him that you're his friend and that you're going to help him, 416 00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:35,131 and that everything's gonna be all right. 417 00:19:37,425 --> 00:19:39,344 And then you put a wire on him, 418 00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:42,263 and you find out who's selling him drugs. 419 00:19:43,139 --> 00:19:45,975 And then you get that guy and you flip him. 420 00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:48,770 You turn him into a snitch. You follow that guy 421 00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:51,940 to the people who're really, really bad. 422 00:19:52,023 --> 00:19:55,819 I've been watching The Wire recently. I don't understand a word of it. 423 00:19:55,902 --> 00:19:57,153 Guys, I'm going to sleep. 424 00:19:57,237 --> 00:20:00,323 You can leave the light on if you want, but please stop talking, okay? 425 00:20:00,573 --> 00:20:02,158 Okay. Good night, Ryan. 426 00:20:02,617 --> 00:20:03,952 Good night, Ryan. 427 00:20:07,038 --> 00:20:08,707 Best night ever. 428 00:20:09,457 --> 00:20:10,542 Like I said, 429 00:20:10,625 --> 00:20:13,753 it's not about the horniness. It's about the loneliness. 430 00:20:14,003 --> 00:20:16,381 And how can I be lonely with my boys? 431 00:20:17,757 --> 00:20:19,676 Like a famous person once said, 432 00:20:20,301 --> 00:20:21,678 Boys on the Side. 433 00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:23,680 But I don't... I disagree. 434 00:20:23,763 --> 00:20:27,392 I say, Let's Hear It for the Boys. 435 00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:44,451 Son of a bitch.